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Forrest:
How are you going to learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork?
Forrest: Check her out. Is she
hot, or is she hot?
Riley: She's Buffy.
Forrest: Buffy. I like that. (Dramatically) The girl's so
hot, she's Buffy.
Riley: That's her name, Forrest.
Riley: There's definitely
something off about her.
Graham: Maybe she's Canadian.
Xander: Well, how about this: we
whip out the Ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient
unstoppable evil? Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem; we show up and and kick its
ass.
Giles (pauses to contemplate): A wee bit unethical.
Xander: How's Will doing —
Buffy: With the black hole of despair she's been living in since
Oz left? She's dealing. I'm helping. It's hard. Ergo party.
Buffy: Now if you'll excuse me,
I need go find something slutty to wear tonight.
Spike (about Buffy):
I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding.
Willow: Riley, I noticed you
left off a name today in roll call. Osborne, Daniel Osborne, Oz?
Buffy: You know for someone who
teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.
Prof. Walsh:It's not my job to coddle my students.
Buffy: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with
your job. (walks away)
Prof. Walsh (to Riley): I like her.
Riley: Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?
Xander's Mom: Xander!
Xander: Yes, Mom?
Xander's Mom: I made a nice fruit punch for you and your friend.
Would you boys like some?
Giles: Is it, uh, raspberry fruit punch?
Parker: You know the difference
between a freshman girl and a toilet seat? A toilet seat doesn't follow
you around after you use it. (Riley punches him.)
Willow: OK, say that I help, and
you start a conversation, it goes great, you like Buffy, she likes you,
you spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even
realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the
whole world is made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of
you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a
broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.
Riley: Yep, that's the plan.
Willow: I've seen honest faces
before. They usually come attached to liars.
Willow: She likes cheese... I'm
not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... she likes cheese.
Harmony: Spikey. Let's leave the
Slayer alone. You know she'll only slap you around, and I can do that.
Willow (to Riley):
OK, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly
dancing, light contact, but don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's
out of the question.
Willow (to Riley):
If you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague
disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!
Harmony: Oh, I'm so gonna bite
you.
Riley: You don't understand, I'm
good at things. That's what I do. I work hard, apply myself, get it done.
Willow: Well, you failed extremely well.
Riley: The problem is, what kind
of girl is going to go out with a guy who's acting all Joe Regular by
day, and then turns all demon-hunter by night?
Graham: Maybe a peculiar one?
Buffy: What's wrong with him?
Doesn't Spike get that this is my town?
Spike: I don't understand. This
sort of thing's never happened to me before.
Willow: Maybe you were nervous.
Spike: I felt all right when I started. Let's try again.
(He tries, but he can't do it.)
Spike: Damn it!
Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to
every vampire?
Spike: Not to me, it doesn't!
Willow: It's me, isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. You didn't
want to bite me, I just happened to be around.
Spike: Piffle.
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their
teeth into. It's always like, 'Oh, you're like a sister to me,' or, 'Oh,
you're such a good friend.'
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: Really?
Spike: Thought about it.
Willow: When?
Spike: Remember last year? You had on that fuzzy pink number with
the lilac underneath. (Gives her a sexy look.)
Willow: I never would have guessed. You played the bloodlust
kinda cool.
Spike: Mmmm. I hate being obvious. Being all fangy and 'Rrrr.'
Takes the mystery out.
Willow: But if you could...
Spike: If I could, yeah.
Willow: You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.
Spike: Don't patronize me! (Paces around the room.) I'm
only a hundred and twenty-six!
Willow: You're being too hard on yourself. Why don't we wait a
half an hour and try again? (Makes a funny face.) Or... (Grabs
a lamp and whacks him.)
Riley: Did Willow tell you I
like cheese?
Buffy: You're a little peculiar. |
