Spike:
And I should do what with my spare time? Sit at home knitting cunning
sweater sets?
Buffy: Would it keep you out of my way?
Buffy: Spike, I just saw you
taste your own nose blood. You know what? I'm too grossed out to hear
anything you have to say. Go home.
Spike: It's blood. It's what I do!
Spike: I will know your blood,
Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice... and drink deep. (turns
around and falls into an open grave) Ow!
Anya: Oh! Who put the monkey
head near the Styx Water? Do we want to pick exploded monkey out of our
hair?
Willow: Oh, wow. This place
looks great. Oh, I feel like a witch in a magic shop.
Willow: Are these real newt eyes?
Giles: No. Too rich for my blood I'm afraid. No these are
salamander eyes; it's the cataracts which give them their newt-like
appearance. They're really equally effective, though. It's just a matter
of overcoming snobberies.
Buffy: You're like my fairy
godmother, and Santa Claus, and Q all wrapped up into one. (they look
at her) Q from Bond, not Star Trek.
Spike: Oh, Pacey! You blind
idiot. Can't you see she doesn't love you?
Harmony: Is it safe? Has Buffy
gotten to you yet? I saw her patrolling just now... with a stake! She
won't give up until she's killed me to death.
Spike: Buffy's looking for you?
Harmony: Of course. That's why I'm on the lam. Didn't you hear?
I'm totally her arch-nemesis.
Spike: Is that right? I must've missed the memo.
Harmony: There was a mem— Spike, oh my God, this is like a real
emergency!
Harmony: Pretty please? I'll do
anything.
Spike: Anything, will you?
Harmony: Yeah, I said I'd do anything! (Spike continues to
stare at her) Oh. You mean will I have sex with you? Well, yeah.
Spike: (as Harmony lights up
a cigarette) Taking up smoking, are you?
Harmony: I am a villain, Spike. Hello!
Buffy: It's so unfair. It's like
Big Brother can spy on you all the time, and the second I have something
to say, no one will listen.
Dawn: Sounds more like Big Sister.
Willow: There has to be a way.
Buffy: Like what? Take a tour of the White House and pretend to
get lost and look for some door with a sign on it that says "Secret
Government Monster Hunters?"
Buffy: I so don't want to deal
with Spike right now. The guy is really starting to bug me in that
special "I want to shove something wooden through his heart"
kind of way.
Spike: OK. Is it bigger than a
breadbox?
Harmony: No. Four left.
Spike: So it's smaller than a breadbox.
Harmony: Heh heh! No, only three.
Spike: Harmony... is it a sodding breadbox?
Harmony: Yes! Oh, my God. Someone's blondy bear is a Twenty
Questions genius!
Harmony (after accidentally
shooting the crossbow): Oops. String was slippy.
Spike: ...bathe in the Slayer's
blood. I'm gonna dive in it. Swim in it. I'm gonna do the bloody
backstroke.
Spike: Buffy, Buffy, Buffy!
Everywhere I turn she's there. That nasty little face. That fancy
shampoo commercial hair. That whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude.
Harmony: Well, aren't we kinda unholy by def—?
Spike: She follows me, you know. Tracks me down. I'm the pet
project. Drive Spike around the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout of
torture. You don't understand. I can't get rid of her. She's everywhere.
She's haunting me, Harmony! This has got to end.
Graham: It's a good thing Buffy
found you when she did, because you were about to detonate big time.
Always said she's pretty impressive.
Riley: You know, she really is.
Graham: But you know you don't belong here, right? This town. I
mean, you're nothing here.
Riley: Hey. What are you saying?
Graham: Come on, man. You know it's true. There's nothing for you
here.
Riley: There's her.
Graham: Okay, right. There's her. And? You used to have a mission.
Now you're what: Mission's Boyfriend? Mission's True Love? You belong
with us.
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