Season 3 quotes

Doppelgangland

Anya: "For a thousand years I wielded the powers of the Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking Math."

Anya: "Do you have any idea how boring 12th graders are?"

Buffy: "I know how you hate talking about Faith."
Willow: "No, it's okay."
Buffy: "No, really, we should just..."
Willow: "No, it doesn't bother me. I mean it."
Buffy: "Uh, Will?" (indicates pencil spinning out of control)
Willow: "Oh." (pencil flies into tree)
Buffy: "Emotional control?"
Willow: "I'm working on it."

Principal Snyder: "As far as I'm concerned this is a marriage made in heaven. Willow Rosenberg, despite her unsavory associations, represents the pinnacle of academic achievement at Sunnydale High. Percy West represents a devastating fast break, and 50% from behind the 3-point line."
Willow: "I'm not sure I understand the marriage part."
Principal Snyder: "You've got the brains, he's got the fast break. It's a perfect match."
Willow: "Match? You want us to breed?"
Principal Snyder: "I want you to tutor him."

Principal Snyder: "I know you want to help your school out here. Ask me how I know."
Willow: "How do you...?"
Principal Snyder: "I just know."

Buffy: "So he threatened you? With what?"
Willow: "Well, it wasn't exactly anything he said. It was all in his eyes. I mean, there was some nostril work as well, but mostly eyes."

Giles: "How did it go?"
Faith: "Princess Margaret here had a little trouble keeping up."
Giles: "How did it go?"
Wesley: "Faith, uh, did quite well on the obstacle field. Still a little sloppy, though."
Giles: "Do you feel up to taking Buffy out, or shall I?"
Wesley: "Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine. Just give me a minute. And some defibrillators, it it's not too much trouble."
Faith: "You're gonna love it, B. It's just like fun, only boring."

Mayor: "Oh, hey, hey, hey, shoes, shoes!"
Faith: "Thanks, sugar-daddy!"
Mayor: "Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend. Don't worry, I wouldn't ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. Besides, I think a vampire attack would look less suspicious, anyway. In the meantime, let's look at the rest of the apartment, huh? If I'm not mistaken, some lucky girl has herself a PlayStation."
Faith: "No way."
Mayor: "Yes way!"

Willow: "Maybe I would have liked to go."
Oz: "Didn't figure you for missing school."
Willow: "You think I'm boring."
Oz: "I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text."

Willow: "I'm eating this now. It's not lunch time, I don't even care."

Willow: "Old reliable? Yeah, great. There's a sexy nickname."
Buffy: "Well, I didn't mean it as..."
Willow: "No, it's fine, I'm Old Reliable."
Xander: "She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals."
Willow: "That's Old Faithful."
Xander: "Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot...?"
Willow: "That's Old Yeller."
Buffy: "Xander, I beg you not to help me."

Anya: "Anya. I'm sort of new here. I know Cordelia?"
Willow: "Oh, fun."
Anya: "Yeah, listen. I have this little project I'm working on and I heard you were the person to ask."
Willow: "Yeah, that's me. Reliable dog geyser person. What do you need?
Anya: "Oh, it's nothing big. Just a little spell I'm working on."
Willow: "A spell? Oh, I like the black arts."
Anya: "I just need a secondary to create a temporal fold. I heard you were a pretty powerful Wicca, so..."
Willow: "You heard right, mister! I'm always ready to work some dark mojo. So, tell me, is it dangerous?"
Anya: "Oh, no."
Willow: "Well, could we pretend it is?"

Anya: "I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace."
Willow: "Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?"
Anya: "Look, we'll just try it again, and..."
Willow: "No. I think emphatically not."

Willow: "What's going on? Geeze, who died? Oh, god, who died?"

Buffy: "Willow, you're alive."
Willow: "Aren't I usually?"

Willow: "I love you guys, too. Okay, oxygen becoming an issue."

Willow: "It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?"

Xander: "Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire."
Willow: "I'm not a vampire!"
Buffy: "You are. I mean, you were. Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?"
Giles: "Well, uh, something... something very strange is happening."
Xander: "Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?"

Anya: "What a day. Give me a beer."
Bartender: "I.D."
Anya: (glares)
Bartender: "I.D."
Anya: "I'm 1120 years old, just give me a frigging beer!"
Bartender: "I.D."
Anya: (sighs) "Give me a Coke."

Alfonse: Nobody cause any trouble, or try to leave.. and nobody gets hurt."
Angel: "Why don't I believe him?"
Oz: "Well, he lacks credibility."

Angel: "Buffy, I... something's happened that... Willow's dead. Hey, Willow. Wait a second."
Xander: "We're right there with you, buddy."

Xander: "What is the signal?"
Willow: "Me screaming."

Willow: "A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this? Aaaaaahhhhh!"
Anya: "Sure, yeah. Humans do that."
Alfonse: Yeah, I think, yeah."

Evil Willow: "This world's no fun."
Willow: "You noticed that, too?"

Xander: "So, um, in your reality, I'm like this bad-ass vampire, huh? People afraid of me? Oh, yeah. I'm bad."

Willow: "Good luck. Try not to kill people. (hugs) Hands! Hands!"

Percy West: "Okay, so I did the outline for the paper of Roosevelt. It turns out there were two President Roosevelt's, so I didn't know exactly which one to do, so I did both. I know they're kind of short, but I can flesh them out. Oh, and here's the bibliography. Um, and I can retype that if you want. You just let me know what I did wrong, and I'll get on it."
Buffy: (pause) "You wanna go out tonight?"
Willow: "Nine sound good?"