Season 3 quotes

Lovers Walk

Willow: "This is a nightmare. This is... my world is spinning."
Xander: "It's not that bad, Willow, really."
Willow: "740? Verbal?? I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel."
Xander: "That's right, and the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot."
Willow: "Where did I go wrong?"

Oz: "I can see why you'd be upset. That was my sarcastic voice."
Xander: "You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice."
Oz: "I've been told that."

Willow: "Buffy! Hey, did you get your S.A.T. scores?"
Buffy: "And by the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are gonna be manning the drive-thru window side by side."

Willow: "1430! Buffy, you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited."

Xander: "Why the sourpuss?"
Buffy: "I don't know. I guess... my future. I never really thought about it. I wasn't even sure I was going to have one."
Cordelia: "I think this is great. Now you can leave, and never come back! Well, I mean that in a positive way. Get out of Sunnydale. That's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever want to come back here?"

Spike: "Home... sweet... home."

Willow: "What's this?"
Oz: "It's a gift."
Willow: "What's the occasion?"
Oz: "Pretty much you are."
Willow: "It's a little Pez witch!
Oz: "It's kind of a theme present. Do you like it?
Willow: "I like. I more than like. Oz, this is probably the sweetest... We have to find a little Pez werewolf, so little Pez witch can have a boyfriend."
Oz: "I don't think they make a werewolf Pez. You might have to settle for a wacky cartoon dog."

Willow: "This is... just so thoughtful."
Oz: "Well, I think about you."
Willow: "Oh, I don't have anything to give you."
Oz: "Yeah, you do."

Giles: "Here. I suspect your mother will want to put it on the refrigerator."
Buffy: "Yeah, she saw these scores and her head spun around and exploded."
Giles: "I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?"

Buffy: "Okay, be kind, rewind."

Buffy: "All day it's been, like, 'Congratulations! Go away.'"

Angel: "She doesn't know about me."
Buffy: "Big no."

Angel: "She wants you to get out."
Buffy: "Some place a little less Hellmouthy."

Xander: "Is that a spell book?"
Willow: "No, no, no! Chemistry book."
Xander: "Wait a minute. This is love spell stuff. You doing a love spell?"
Willow: "No, of course not! This is a purely scientific... de-lusting spell... for us. I thought it would go better if you didn't know."
Xander: "Are you nuts? Or have you forgotten I tend to have bad luck with these sorts of spells?"

Xander: "I wish for a lot of things! I told you I wished I was a fireman when we were in sixth grade, but you didn't follow through on that."

Spike: "She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head, or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? It was the truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft - wasn't demon enough for the likes of her."

Spike: "I gave her everything - beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses, with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would flirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this any more.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!"
Willow: "There, there

Willow: "Now, I'm not a real witch, you know. I don't know if this is going to work right away."
Spike: "Well, if at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him, and you try again."

Buffy: "Either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe..."
Cordelia: "You're having too many "or"s - pick one!"

Spike: "No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally. You got any of those little marshmallows?"

Joyce: "Get out of here."
Spike: "Yeah. You're not invited."
Joyce: "He'll kill us."
Spike: "Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe."

Joyce: "You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself."
Spike: "You're a very bad man."
Angel: "Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. You touch her and I'll cut your head off."
Spike: "Yeah? You and what army?"
Buffy: "That would be me."

Joyce: "Okay, I'm confused again."

Spike: "Willow!"
Buffy: "You took Willow."
Spike: "You do me now, and you'll never find the little witch."
Joyce: "Willow's a witch?"
Buffy: "And Xander?"
Spike: "Him, too."
Joyce: "Xander's a witch?"

Spike: "And when did you become all soul-having again? I thought you out-grew that."

Oz: " It's Willow. She's nearby."
Cordelia: "What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume."
Oz: "She's afraid."
Cordelia: "Oh my god. Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing."
Oz: "I really agree."

Spike: "Oh, god."
Buffy: "What's wrong? Not that I really care."
Spike: "Oh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Oh, god. I wish I were dead."
Buffy: "Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard..."

Buffy: "He's probably just got them locked up in the factory."
Spike: "Well, hey, how thick do you think I am?"

Spike: "Oh, god."
Buffy: "Now what?"
Spike: "We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times. You know, he begged for mercy, and that only made her bite harder."
Buffy: "I guess you had to be there."
Buffy: "Spike can get the rats eyes."
Spike: "I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper."
Buffy: "Great, more moping. That's going to get her back."

Spike: "I'm nothing without her."
Buffy: "Yeah, that I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser."

Spike: "The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other again like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave."

Spike: "You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

Spike: "Oh, sod the spell. Your friends are at the factory. I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this - weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just got to be the man I was. The man she loved. I'm going to do what I should have done in the first place. I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny thing."

Buffy: "We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have."

Angel: "There's got to be some way we can still see each other." Buffy: "There is. Tell me you don't love me."

Spike: "And more, much more than this, I did it my way!!"