Spike and Buffy quotes
S: Nice work, love.
B: Who are you?
S: You'll find out on Saturday.
B: What happens on Saturday?
S: I kill you.
S: What can I say? I couldn't wait.
B: You shouldn't come here.
S:
No. I've messed up your doiles and stuff. But I just got so bored. I'll tell you
what. As a personal favor from me to you I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a
bit.
B: No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot.
S: Now, that hurt! But not as much as this will.
2.10 What's my line
B: Angel.
S:
It bugs me too seeing him like that. Another five minutes, though, and Angel
will be dead, so... I forebear. Don't feel too bad for Angel though, he's got
something you don't have.
B: What's that?
S: Five minutes.
S:
Who the hell is this?
B: It's your lucky day, Spike.
Kendra: Two slayers.
B: No waiting.
S: I'de rather be fightin' you anyway.
B: Mutual.
2.22 Becoming2
S: Hello cutie. Now, you hold on a second! Hey! White flag here. I quit.
B: Let me clear this up for you. We're mortal enemies. We don't get time-outs.
S: You want to go around, pet, I'll have a gay old time of it. You want to stop Angel... we're gonna have to play this a bit differently.
B: What are you talking about?
S: I'm talking about your ex, pet. I'm talking about putting him in the bloody ground.
B: This has gotta be the lamest trick you guys have ever thought up.
S: He's got your Watcher. Right now, he's probably torturing him.
B: What do you want?
S: I told you. I want to stop Angel. I want to save the world.
B: Okay. Do you remember that you're a vampire, right?
S: We like to talk big. Vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world" That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye Piccadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?
B: Okay, fine. You're not done with Angel. Why would you ever come to me?
S: I want Dru back. I want it like it was before he came back. The way she acts around him...
B: You're pathetic. I lost a friend tonight!
S: I wasn't in on that raiding party.
B: And I may lose more! The whole earth may be sucked into Hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to not care.
S: I can't fight them both alone, and neither can you!
B: I hate you.
S: And I'm all you've got.
B: All right. Talk.
S: I'm just gonna kill this guy.
B: ....
S: Oh, right.
B: Let's get inside.
S: What, your mum doesn't know?
Joice: Know what?
B: That I'm, uh... in a band. A-a rock band with Spike here.
S: Right. She plays the, the triangle.
B: Drums
S: Drums, yeah. She's, uh, hell on the old skins, you know.
Joice: Hmmm. And, uh, what do you do?
S: Well, I sing.
B: You know what? Why don't we go inside, and, and we can talk about this.
S: One of Angel's boys.
B: Yeah, probably watching me. Or you.
S: Yeah. He won't get a chance to tattle on us now.
Joice: Buffy... what... is going on?
B: Mom... I'm a Vampire Slayer.
B: All right, talk. What's the deal?
S: Simple. You let me and Dru skip town, I help you kill Angel.
Joice: Angel? Your boyfriend?
B: Forget about Drusilla. She doesn't walk.
S: There's no deal without Dru.
B: She killed Kendra.
S: Dru bagged a Slayer? She didn't tell me! Hey, good for her! Though not from your perspective, I suppose.
B: I can't believe I invited you into my house.
Joice: So you didn't kill that girl.
B: Of course not.
Joice: Did she explode like that man out there?
B: She was a Slayer, Mom.
Joice: Like what you are.
S: Look. This deal works for me one way. Full stop. Me and you for Angel.
Joice: Honey, a-are you sure you're a Vampire Slayer.
S: I'll take her out of the country. You'll never hear for us again, I bloody hell hope.
B: Fine. Get back to the mansion. Make sure Giles is all right.
Joice: I-i mean, have you tried not being a Slayer?
B: Mom! to spike Be ready to back me up when I make my move.
A:
Spike.
Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here.
S: Yeah. You're not invited.
J: He's crazy. He'll kill us.
S: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe.
A: Joyce, listen to me.
J:
You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.
S: You're a very bad man.
A: Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. You touch her, and I'll cut
your head off.
S: Yeah? You and what army?
B: That would be me. Angel, why don't you come on in?
B:
You shouldn't have come back, Spike.
S: I do what I please.
J: Okay. I-I'm confused again.
S: Willow!
B: You took Willow.
S:
You do me now, you'll never find the little witch.
J: Willow's a witch?
B: And Xander?
S: Him, too.
J: What? Xander's a witch? I...
S: Look, I just need a few supplies, and then I'll take you to... Oh, God.
B:
What's wrong? Not that I care.
S: Oh... My head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Oh, God. I
wish I was dead.
B: Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard...
S: Hey! Back off!
A: Buffy, we still need him to find the others.
B: Need him? He's probably just got them locked up in the factory.
S: Well, hey, how thick do you think I am?
B: Your
work?
S: Here's your list.
B: Spike can get the rat's eyes
S: I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper.
B:
Great. More moping. That's gonna get her back.
S: The spell's gonna get her back.
S: What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with
me. I'm nothing without her.
B: That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're
not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser.
S: Yeah. You're one to talk.
B:
Meaning?
S: The lost time I looked in you two, you were fighting to the death.
Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me
want to heave.
B: I don't know what you're talking about.
S:
Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
A: That's right.
S: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but youìll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... blood screaming inside you to work its will.
I may
be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
B:
Okay, Spike, we got the stuff. Where are they?
S: What's your hurry?
B: My hurry is my intense desire to get you out of my life. You tend to
cause trouble.
S: I'll be out of your life in a few short hours. No trouble at all.
Lenny: Hello, Spike.
B: No trouble at all.
S:
Lenny. How have you been?
L: Better since you left. You should have stayed gone.
S: Is that right?
B: You know, he was just leaving. Don't you start anything.
S: This pissant used to work for me.
B: The guys are in trouble. We can't risk this.
A:
Look, I don't think we have a choice.
L: You other two can walk away from this.
S: I die, your chums die.
B: Sorry. We're staying
4.8 Pangs
S: Help me. Ohh! What part of help me do you not understand?
B: The part where I help you.
S: Come on, I'm parboiling out here.
B:
Want me to help make it quicker?
S: Invite me in.
G: No. It's fairly unlikely.
S: Oh, damn it! Look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell 'em
what I did.
W: You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy.
S: Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I
couldn't bite you.
W:
It's true. He had trouble perfoing.
S: Yeah, well, it looks like they've done me for good. Um...
B: What are you saying?
S: I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't
chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people.
B:
So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals.
S: I've got information. About the soldier boys you were fighting. Got
the inside scoop. Come on, what have you got to be afraid of?
S: Hey, when do I get fed?
B:
Later. I hope the others are ok.
S: You know what happens to vampires who don't get to feed?
B: I always wondered that. Giles, plates.
S:
Living skeletons, mate. Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only
not half as funny.
B: You can have gravy. That has blood in it, right?
S: Do you know what else has blood in it? Blood.
4.9 Something blue
B: So... you saw their faces but you can't describe them.
S: Well, they were human. Two eyes each, kind of in the middle.
B: Uh huh. And the lab.
S: Underground. I came out through an air vent. I don't know exactly
where. I'm done. Put the telly on.
S: It's about time. Hope you got it warm enough. I don't know why you're
so dainty all of a sudden. You've done this for Angel... you must have.
Hey! Give it!
B: Okay, that's it. The invalid amnesiac routine is over. The kitchen is closed until you can tell me something useful about the commandos.
S: I'm triyin' to remember. It was very traumatic.
B: How long are you going to pull tis crap?
S: How long am I going to live once I tell you?
G: Look, look, Spike... we have no intention of killing a harmless.. uh, creature.. but we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're.. impotent..
S: Hey!
G: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're...
B: Flaccid?
S: You are one step away, missy.
B: Giles, help! He's going to scold me.
B: You know what? I don't think you want
us to let yu go. Maybe we made it a little too comfy in here for ya.
S: Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinkin' pig's blood from a novelty
mug. Doesn't rank huge in the Zagut's Guide.
B: You want something nicer? A look at my.. poor neck? All bare and
tender and exposed.. all that blood just.. pumping away..
G: Oh, please.
S: Giles, make her stop.
B: It's
just so sudden. I don't know what to say
S: Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.
B: Oh, Spike!
Of course it's yes!
B: There's
so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception..
S: Well, first thing I'd say, we're not having a church wedding.
B: How 'bout a daytime ceremony. In the park.
S: Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.
B: Under the trees. Indirect sunlight, only.
S: Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again... you're
registering as Mr and Mrs Big-Pile-of-Dust.
B: Aren't
they a perfect little us?
S: I don't like him. He's insipid. Clearly human.
B: Oo, red paint. We could smear a little on his mouth.. blood of the
innocent..
S: That's my girl..
B:
Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be William the
Bloody, or just Spike? 'Cause, either way, it's gonna look majorly weird.
S: Where as the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance.
B: What's wrong with Buffy?
G: Huh.. such a good question.
S: Well, it's a terrible name.
B: My mother gave me that name.
S: Your mother, yeah, she's a genius.
B: Spike, these are my friends. Besides, it's kinda my job.
S: For now.
B: What? You want me to stop working?
S: Let's see.. do I want to give up killing all my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought.
S:
Don't I get a cookie?
B: No.
S: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
B: You're a pig, Spike.
S: Yeah.. I'm not the one who wanted, "Wind Beneath MyWings"
for the first dance.
B: That was the spell.
5.14 Crush
BUFFY:
What are you doing?
SPIKE: I, I was ... I wasn't thinking.
BUFFY: What is this?
SPIKE: Oh, come- don't get your knickers twisted, I was-
BUFFY: What ... is this? The
late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?
SPIKE: A d- Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean - Do
you want it to be?
BUFFY: Oh my god.
BUFFY:
Oh ... oh no. Are you out of your mind?
SPIKE: It's not so unusual. Two people ... in the workplace ...
feelings develop.
BUFFY: No! No, no, feelings do not develop. No feelings.
SPIKE: You can't deny it. There's something between us.
BUFFY: Loathing. Disgust.
SPIKE: Heat. Desire.
BUFFY: Please! Spike, you're a vampire.
SPIKE: Angel was a vampire.
BUFFY: Angel was good!
SPIKE: And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy.
BUFFY: What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just
... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!
SPIKE: Women marry 'em all the time!
BUFFY: Uhh!
SPIKE: But I'm not ... like that. Something's happening to me. I
can't stop thinking about you.
BUFFY: Uhh.
SPIKE: And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing-
BUFFY: You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!
SPIKE: I damn well do! I lie awake every night!
BUFFY: You sleep during the day!
SPIKE: Yeah, but - You are missing the point. This is real here. I love-
BUFFY: Don't!
SPIKE: Beginning to think
you'd sleep the night away.
BUFFY: Dru ... Drusilla?
DRUSILLA: Not nice to change the game in mid-play, Spike. You've taken my
chair and the music hasn't stopped.
SPIKE: Sorry, pet. My house, my rules.
DRUSILLA: I think I shall be very cross with you when I'm free again.
BUFFY: What's going on?
SPIKE: Simple. I'm gonna prove something. I love you.
BUFFY: Oh my god.
SPIKE: No, look at me! I ... love you. You're all I bloody think about.
Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat ... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm
drowning in you.
SPIKE: I can do without the laugh track, Dru.
DRUSILLA: But it's so funny. I knew ... before you did. I knew you loved
the Slayer. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.
SPIKE: You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and
me. I know you feel something.
BUFFY: It's called revulsion. And whatever you think you're feeling, it's
not love. You can't love without a soul.
DRUSILLA: Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well. If not wisely.
SPIKE: You still don't believe. Still don't think I mean it. You
want proof, huh? How's this?
SPIKE: I'm gonna kill Drusilla for you.
BUFFY: That doesn't prove anything ... except that you're a sick
miserable vampire that I should have dusted a long time ago. And, hey, already
there.
SPIKE: Don't mock this.
BUFFY: Go mock yourself.
SPIKE: This is Drusilla, girl! You have the slightest idea what she means
to me? It's the face of my salvation! She delivered me from mediocrity. For over
a century we ... cut a swath through continents. A hundred years, she never
stopped surprising me.
SPIKE: Never stopped taking me to new depths. I was a lucky bloke. Just
to touch such a black beauty.
DRUSILLA: Aw...
SPIKE: So you see, it means something.
BUFFY: Not to me. Kill her, why do I care?
SPIKE: Here's why. If you don't admit ... that there's something
there ... some tiny feeling for me ... then I'll untie Dru, let her kill you
instead.
DRUSILLA: Yes, please. I like that game much more.
SPIKE: Just ... give me something ... a crumb ... a barest smidgen ...
tell me ... maybe, someday, there's a chance.
BUFFY: Spike....
BUFFY: The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.
5.18 Intervention
B: Why did you let that Glory hurt you?
S: She wanted to know who the key was.
B: Oh, well, I can tell her, and then you'll-
S: No! You can't ever. Glory never finds out.
B: Why?
S: 'Cause Buffy ... the other, not so pleasant Buffy ... anything
happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much pain.
Let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did.
S: And my robot?
B: The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene.
S: (lowers his head) It wasn't supposed to-
B: Don't. That ... thing, it ... it wasn't even real.
B: What you did, for me, and Dawn ... that was real.
B: I won't forget it.
5.22 The gift
BUFFY: The weapons are in the chest by the TV,
I'll grab the stuff upstairs.
SPIKE: Uh, Buffy...
SPIKE: If you wanna just hand them over the threshold, I'll...
BUFFY: Come in, Spike.
SPIKE: Hmm. Presto. No barrier.
SPIKE: Um, won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should
hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself.
BUFFY: We're not all gonna make it. You know that.
SPIKE: Yeah.
SPIKE: Hey. Always knew I'd go down fightin'.
BUFFY: I'm counting on you ... to protect her.
SPIKE: Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight.
BUFFY: I'll be a minute.
SPIKE: Yeah.
SPIKE: I know you'll never love me.
SPIKE: I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's...
SPIKE: Get your stuff, I'll be here.