Season 1 quotes

Welcome to the Hellmouth

Xander: "I kind of had a problem with the math."
Willow: "Which part?"
Xander: "The math."

Xander: "You're certainly a font of nothing."

Xander: "Can I have you?"
Buffy: "..."
Xander: "Uh...can I help you?"

Xander: "We both go to school. Very suave, very not pathetic."

Cordelia: "The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let anybody in, but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town."
Buffy: "Where's that?"
Cordelia: "About half a block from the good part of town. We don't have a
whole lot of town here."

Buffy: "It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hang out with me."
Willow: "Aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?"
Buffy: "I can't do both?"
Willow: "Not legally."

Cordelia: "Oh please. I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with the chest hair, because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker."
Buffy: "What?"
Willow: "What are you talking about?"
Cordelia: "Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker."
Buffy: "Dead?"
Cordelia: "Totally dead. Way dead."
Xander: "So, not just a little dead, then?"
Cordelia: "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"
Jesse: "You know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on..."
Buffy: "How did he die?"
Cordelia: "I don't know."
Buffy: "Well, were there any marks?"
Cordelia: "Morbid much! I didn't ask!"
Buffy: "Um, I gotta' book. I'll see you guys later."
Cordelia: "What's her deal?"

Buffy: "I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus, and I don't care!"
Giles: "Then why are you here?"
Buffy: "To...tell you...that...I don't care...which...I don't...and...have now told you...so...bye!"

Buffy: "First of all, I'm a vampire slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em?"
Giles: "I'm a Watcher. I haven't the skill."
Buffy: "Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log."
Giles: "A Slayer slayes, a Watcher..."
Buffy: "Watches?"
Giles: "Yes...no!"

Angel: "I know what you're thinking, but don't worry, I don't bite!"

Buffy: "Who are you?"
Angel: "Let's just say I'm a friend."
Buffy: "Well, maybe I don't want a friend!"
Angel: "I didn't say I was yours."

Willow: "I thought Xander was gonna' show up."
Buffy: "Oh, are you guys going out?"
Willow: "No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up."
Buffy: "How come?"
Willow: "He stole my Barbie."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Oh, we were 5."
Buffy: "Oh."
Willow: "I don't actually date a whole lot...lately."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Willow: "Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away."
Buffy: "It's not that bad."
Willow: "It is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk."
Buffy: "You really haven't been dating lately."

Buffy: "Sieze the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead."
Willow: "Oh that's nice!"

Jesse: "You wanna' dance?"
Cordelia: "With you?"
Jesse: "Well, uh, yeah!"
Cordelia: "Well, uh, no!"