Cordelia's Acting Tips
Born into a Wealthy Sunnydale family, Cordelia Chase was used to getting whatever she wanted: clothes, cars, money, even boys. But alas, things went horribly wrong and Cordy's father was nabbed for a spot of tax evasion. Subsequently, Cordy's college plans were shelved in favor of a new dream... Quitting Sunnydale for L.A. to become an actress! But sadly, despite plenty of auditions, Cordelia's aspirations for stardom remained just that - an aspiration. In honor of Queen C's unrecognised, um, talent (*cough*), Angel Magazine offers its top ten acting tips for Cordelia wannabes...
TIP 1.
ALWAYS LOOK THE PART!
Image is
everything. To get noticed as the Next Big Thing, you have to look the part.
Designer gear is preferable, be it Gianni Versace, Calvin Klein or Louis Vuitton.
Even if you bank account won't allow you to splash out on a little designer
number, there's no excuse for nipping out to the shops in your worn old
sweatshirt and tracksuit bottoms! After all, you never know; you could bump into
a major Hollywood talent scout at the supermarket checkout! (If you, er, live in
Hollywood.)
TIP 2.
BE SEEN AT ALL THE RIGHT PARTIES!
If you're going to get descovered, what better
place to do it than at the hippest, most happening party!? It'll give you
the perfect opportunity to mingle with the hottest, most in-demand directors and
A-List celebs. Just don't take anyone better-looking with you - you don't want
them stealing your thunder...! (Oh, and a word of warning: always check out your
surroundings first. In particular, nice places with no mirrors and lots of
curtains...)
TIP 3.
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!
Being an actress means having to face up to a lot
of rejection and disappointment, so it comes in handy to know that nobody knows
anything in Hollywood (some script guy said it, or some other unattractive
behind-the-scenes loser), so it isn't you and you can't help that they are blind
and dumb with no fashion sense!
TIP 4.
DON'T GIVE UP THE DAY JOB!
It's no use waiting for your big break to come
along whilist those bills just keep piling up - you have to be able to pay the
rent. So whether it's working in a supermarket stacking shelves, an office job
or telesales, don't give up your day job. Although, if you're going to work for
a firm like Angel Investigations, it's one thing being handy with a stake
and a crossbow; it also helps to be able to file and type too...
TIP 5.
START AT THE BOTTOM AND WORK YOUR WAY UP!
It's more than likely you'll have to be the
shiniest, sparkliest person in some dowdy, run-of-the-mill ad to make it big.
But it's all good experience and the perfect way to learn your trade, while you
wait for some millionaire producer to snap you up! So keep all parts of your
luscious self in tip-top condition, because you never know which bits will make
you famous! Just remember - the bikini is your friend!
TIP 6.
EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING!
While you may have spent your formative years
living it up in luxury, as a struggling, aspiring actor you'll get to experience
life as a mere mortal for a change. Although becoming half-demon, falling in
love with a vampire, experiencing blinding painful visions, getting sucked into
another dimension and ascending to a higher plane are life experiences you
should probably try to avoid...
TIP 7.
PERFECT YOUR ON-SCREEN SMOG!
It pays to get in plenty of practice to perfect
your smooching skills; whether it be with the cute, wise-cracking lad you dated
in high school, the bumbling British gent in the posh suit you had a bit of a
crush on, or the brooding hottie with a split personality. It's probably best to
avoid nasty old Haxil demons, though!
TIP 8.
GET AN AGENT!
There is no better self-presentation than good
representation! To really take advantage when than golden, career-making
opportunity comes your way, you must have a great, ballsy agent who will get
your auditions, chew up and spit out casting directors, or do anything to get
you that dog food commercial, no matter the indignity and personal cost! That is
if they ever return your calls...
TIP 9.
BE GOOD AT EXAGGERATING THE TRUTH!
Actors never lie - they have 'The Method'. You
can and must do anything to project that successful image. Most actors are
experts at exaggerating the truth and it's always better to tell someone about
your Malibu beach condo than the squalid little appartment downtown or the
haunted digs that you share with a ghost whose only saving grace is his skill
with a loofa...
TIP 10.
YOU ARE WHO YOU DATE!
What would Jennifer be without Brad? Or J-Lo
without Ben? Your super-hot beau should be as regular an appendage as that super
Louis Vutton purse and those fabbo Jimmy Choo shoes you never leave the
house without. Good looks are must, but brains are optional. Actually, not too
good-looking either come to think about it... did we say that already?