Sitting in her mom's favorite easy chair, knees drawn up to her chin, Buffy stared bleakly into her empty wallet. The fingers gripping the worn leather were nearly white at the knuckles, as she focused on her breathing and trying to ignore the anger building inside her.

There had been twenty dollars in there that morning.

This was the third time in a week that money had gone missing from her wallet. The first two times it had only been a few dollars and other, larger bills had remained, so she had dismissed the absence as her mind playing tricks on her.

But that twenty dollar bill was all the money left in the weekly budget.

And it was only Wednesday.

Taking another deep breath, Buffy shoved the wallet into her purse and flung it to the floor.

The front door opened and Dawn's voice sounded cheerfully, calling out to her friends. "See you tomorrow guys. Thanks for the help with biology."

As Dawn entered the living room, her book bag slipping to the floor, her jacket half off, Buffy uncurled herself from the chair, cold and helpless anger flooding her.

"I know what you did."

Dawn stopped, jacket dangling from one arm, mouth open. She gave a quick, nervous look around the room, then asked, "Huh?"

"What did you do with the money, Dawn?"

"What money?" The girl flushed and dropped her eyes, as she pulled her jacket all the way off her shoulders.

"You're a lousy liar."

Dawn's eyes snapped up defensively. "I'm not a liar."

"How about a thief then?" Buffy cocked her head and placed her hands on her hips as she glowered at her sister.

Dawn flushed even more, but a militant look filled her eyes. "It's my money, too."

"Dawn," Buffy protested. "I was planning to use that for essential stuff like food."

"I bought food. Popcorn counts as food, right?"

"You went to a movie?" the older girl yelled, advancing across the room.

Backing up, Dawn glared right back. "I can't just stay in this house and mope all the time like you. My friends wanted to see Harry Potter again and so did I."

"I hope it was a good movie, Dawn, because it's the last one you'll be seeing for a long time."

"Oh yeah, like you're going to punish me? Like you care?" The younger girl snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "You won't do anything to me."

Buffy just shook her head in anger. "Oh yeah? How about two weeks grounding? That's what mom would have done, after being so disappointed in you."

As Dawn paled, Buffy knew she'd gone too far.

"I hate you," Dawn hissed, turning and dashing up the stairs.

"Shit," Buffy muttered, as the sounds of her sister crying drifted down to her.

---

Standing over the sorcerer cowering on the floor, Spike casually lit a cigarette and thanked the gods below that Rack wasn't quite human anymore.

Make enough deals with demons and you're bound to lose some of your humanity.

"So, mate, where's the tape?"

"In the machine," Rack cursed through missing teeth and bleeding mouth. "Take it and get out."

Blowing smoke down at the man, Spike stepped sideways and pushed eject on the VCR. A tape popped out and he fingered it for a minute, then stuffed it in the inner pocket of his duster.

"Remember, you piece of shit, that Witch has friends. Don't come near her again."

With a parting boot to broken ribs, Spike strolled out of the hidden apartment into a poorly lit alley. It was a cool night with a north wind blowing paper down the street and a waning moon glinting barely from between clouds, but he could see her clearly, leaning against a brick wall, head down, shoulders slumped.

Defeated.

"I got it, Red."

Willow looked up, hope shining on her pale face. "Is it...are you sure it's the only other one?"

"Oh yeah, he tried to lie to me, but I'm very persuasive." Spike grinned and tossed her the tape.

Catching it, Willow swallowed hard in self disgust and forced herself to meet Spike's eyes. "I...I didn't remember what I did until...That tape he sent to the house, it was meant for Buffy. I couldn't bear it if she knew."

"Last thing I want is for the Slayer to hurt more, Red," Spike said softly.

"Yeah...I can see that now." Willow tried to smile. "We're all pretty fucked up, aren't we."

Spike gave a self-deprecating chuckle and nodded. "Yep." But, as her face fell again, so did his and he gently touched her shoulder. "You need to go to a doc, Willow. Find out..."

"There's no baby," she said a bit too vehemently.

"Know that, luv; I'd hear its heartbeat. But there are some nasty diseases..."

"I know," Willow whispered.

Spike wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she sank against him. "Come on, luv. I'll walk you home."

---

Buffy carefully wrapped up the food that no one had eaten-- Dawn refusing to come downstairs, Willow a no-show, her own appetite gone--and placed it in the refrigerator. She couldn't waste food anymore.

Couldn't waste a lot of things.

Turning on the tap, she began to fill the sink to wash the dishes by hand, having run out of dishwasher powder the week before. Just as the bubbles began to form, the doorbell rang. Cursing under her breath, Buffy turned off the water and wiped her hands on a towel, before heading for the door.

Flipping on the outside light, she opened the door and found a young woman standing on the porch, a clipboard in the curve of her arm, a badge on her chest.

"Buffy Summers?"

Buffy nodded, swallowing hard.

"I'm Miranda Blakiston from Social Services."

"Did we have an appointment?" Buffy managed to get out, hoping that she hadn't screwed up again.

"No, this is a drop-in. We do this on occasion, spot check things. May I come in?"

Paling slightly, Buffy stepped back and gestured with her hand. The social worker stepped into the house, her eyes moving from room to room.

"Is Dawn here?"

"Um, yeah. She's upstairs."

"And did I interrupt dinner?"

Buffy shook her head, following as the woman walked into the living room. "No, I was washing up the dishes."

"May I ask what you had?"

"Um, sure, I guess. Hoagies and salad." There was no need to tell the woman that none of it had gotten eaten.

"And did Dawn get to school on time today?"

"Yes." For once.

Ms. Blakiston jotted down a few things on her pad of paper, then glanced around the room. "I understand that you have another person living here with you?"

"Um, yeah, my best friend, Willow. She's helping out with the rent."

"And what does she do for living?"

"She...well, nothing. She's in school on full scholarship."

"At Sunnydale U?"

Buffy nodded.

More jotting on the paper. "And have you gone back to school? In the initial interview you stated that you planned to do so."

"I decided finding a job was more important. I have applications in at several places." As the woman smiled and nodded, Buffy inwardly sighed in relief. At least one thing was right.

Ms. Blakiston's next words dashed that relief to the ground. "I'd like to talk to Dawn."

"Um...sure. I'll got get her."

"I'd rather do that myself, please."

Buffy clasped her hands together but managed to nod and plaster a fake smile on her face. "Sure, upstairs, first door on the right."

As the social worker headed up the stairs, Buffy sank bonelessly into a chair, fear threading through her.

She was going to lose Dawn, she just knew it.

From upstairs came a sudden blast of sound--Madonna's version of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina"--then the sound muted, and a door closed.

"Oh god..."

As Buffy wrapped her arms around her knees again, hugging herself, the front door opened and Willow and Spike came in. At the sight of Buffy's pale, scared face, they hurried into the living room.

"Buffy, what's wrong? What's happened?" Willow asked, dropping to her knees in front of the chair.

Spike frowned and sniffed the air. "Who's here?"

"...Social Worker."

At Buffy's weak whisper, Willow paled and Spike stiffened.

"She's with the niblet?"

"I'm going to lose her," Buffy replied numbly.

"No, no you're not, Buffy. Everything's going to be fine," Willow encouraged. "No bags of herbs sitting around this time, no Dawn late for school."

"Dawn and I had a fight. She's probably begging the woman to take her away." Tears filled the blonde's eyes and she buried her face in her hands.

Willow looked helplessly up at Spike, who trained his sensitive ears upwards. A look of surprise crossed his face.

---

Dawn watched the social worker warily as the woman walked slowly around her room. Sitting on her bed, she capped the purple nail polish and carefully closed her diary.

"Have you kept a diary for long, Dawn?"

"All my life. It's private." She flipped the lock.

Ms. Blakiston smiled gently. "Of course it is. I used to keep one myself when I was your age. All full of boys and school events." She turned to face the girl. "You have a very nice room, Dawn."

"Thank you."

"So, how is school going?"

"You're not going to take me away from Buffy, are you?" Dawn blurted out.

The woman's eyes widened and she carefully sat down on the end of the bed. "We don't want to do that, Dawn. We have no plans to do that, but your needs come first."

"I want to stay here with Buffy. She's all I have left."

"Dawn...why were you crying?"

"Huh?"

"Your mascara's run," the woman said, smiling softly. "Did something upset you?"

Dawn stared at the social worker, then nibbled on her lower lip before hugging herself defensively. "It was me, okay? I did something wrong and Buffy and I argued about it, but it was all my fault. Don't punish her for it."

"What happened?"

"I..." Blushing, the girl whispered, "I stole some money from her purse and went to a movie."

"And Buffy caught you?"

She nodded and stared at her feet.

"Dawn, it's perfectly natural to argue. And, believe me, you aren't the first teenager to filch a few bucks from your mom or sister, in this case. You didn't sneak into an X-rated movie did you?"

Dawn gasped and looked up to find the woman grinning at her. A giggle burst from the teenager's lips and she flushed even more. "As if...We went to Harry Potter."

"A very good movie."

---

"What?" Buffy demanded of Spike.

"She wants to stay with you, and the social worker doesn't seem to have any intention of taking her away. They're discussing...what the hell is Quidditch?"

As Willow chuckled, Buffy sighed in relief. "I hate this. I just...I just want it settled."

"Buffy, you're doing fine, and it will get settled. You're on six months more probation and then it'll be final." Rising to her feet, Willow squeezed her friend's hand, then turned to the kitchen. "Any dinner left? I'm starving."

"Yeah, in the fridge."

As Willow headed down the hall, Spike snagged the straight- backed desk chair and swung it around, straddling it and resting his arms on the back.

"What are you doing here, Spike?" Buffy sighed.

"Was helping the Witch with something." He dug in his pocket and pulled out a small box. "And brought you something."

"I don't want presents from..." Buffy broke off as she looked at the box. Her breath caught in her throat. "That was my mom's."

He shifted uncomfortably. "Dawn gave it to me last summer, said it was special to you. I think you should have it back.

Carefully Buffy took it from his outstretched hand and cradled it to her chest. It was a little silver jewelry box her mother had inherited from her grandmother.

Buffy hadn't even realized it was missing.

Swallowing hard as a wave of emotion crashed over her, she opened the box. A pretty clear crystal with what looked like ferns imbedded in it sat inside on the faded blue velvet.

"What is this?"

"Moss agate," Spike mumbled. "Supposed to bring peace of mind. The wind and waning moon will whisk your cares away, or so they say."

Buffy fingered the crystal and tried to formulate a reply, but was interrupted by Dawn and Ms. Blakiston coming down the stairs chatting about French Club.

In one graceful movement, Spike rose and swung the chair out of the way, before stepping back from the women. Buffy gave him a puzzled look, then set the box down and rose to her feet. She slipped the crystal into her jeans' pocket.

The social worker smiled. "Everything looks fine, Ms. Summers." She scrawled something on a business card and handed it to Buffy. "That's my extension. I'd like to meet with you and Dawn in a couple of weeks in a little more formal setting to talk about how things are getting along. Hopefully you'll have a job by then and we can see if you qualify for government assistance."

At the look of wariness on Buffy's face, her smiled gentled. "We're not ogres, Buffy. We want to help you and Dawn."

"Okay." Buffy nodded in acceptance and walked the woman to the door. After seeing her out, she slumped against the closed door.

"You did good, 'bit," Spike said softly.

Dawn flashed him a radiant smile, then hugged him tightly. Spike went stock still, then awkwardly patted her back.

Giggling, Dawn pulled away from him and headed for the kitchen. "Don't stay away so long, Spike. Hey, Willow, any supper left?"

Slowly Buffy pushed herself away from the door and trudged back into the living room. Her eyes flashed to Spike's and she sighed. "You're still here."

Spike shrugged. "Didn't tell me to get out."

"Isn't that a given?" But her question just wasn't snarky enough for him to take offense and he simply shook his head and slipped out of his duster.

She rolled her eyes and flopped down on the couch. "And now you're taking off your coat. Make yourself at home, Spike."

"Ooh, sarcasm." He grinned and sank down next to her.

She didn't move away and they sat in companionable silence for several minutes, before she tucked her legs beneath her and leaned against him, sliding her head onto his shoulder.

"Thank you for giving me back the box...and the crystal."

"You're welcome," he said, smiling, and they lapsed into silence again, finally broken by a small hiccup from her.

"...This is so hard, Spike."

"What, luv?" His brows furrowed in concern, and he wanted to take her in his arms, but he resisted, letting her make the next move.

"...Everything. I'm not her mom. I'm not old enough to be a mom. And I have to slay and I have to get a job and..." Her breath hitched in her throat, and her arm found its way across his chest to hold herself to him.

Spike shifted slightly, wrapping one arm around her shoulder and bringing the other hand up to gently stroke her cheek. "You're doing fine, Buffy."

"How can I be everything everyone wants me to be all at the same time?"

"You rely on others to help you."

"I already do. Willow watches Dawn while I'm job hunting and Xander takes her to school and Tara stays with her while I'm slaying and..." She looked up at him through thick lashes, then snuggled closer to him. "I don't know how my mom did it all."

"She was a strong lady. So, are you, Buffy. You'll get through all this, you'll handle every crisis, and you'll look really cute wearing a paper hat and asking 'do you want fries with that'."

Buffy eyes widened and she sat up to stare at him. Then she burst out laughing. "You idiot!" She hit him across the chest.

Grinning, Spike raised his arms protectively to ward off her half- hearted swats. "Or how about 'want me to check your oil'? Oh, no, even better, 'please try our latest fragrance, eau de vampire'."

"How did you know I have an interview with Nordstroms makeup department tomorrow?" she managed to get out with a straight face before cracking up again. "Oh god, my life sucks."

But she laughed as she said it.

In the kitchen, Dawn munched on her sandwich and peeked in on her sister and Spike.

"Dawn, it's not polite to spy," Willow chided, her own mind wondering over the laughter, but so pleased that Buffy was happy for once, that she wasn't about to interrupt.

"She should go out with him," Dawn announced around another bite of sandwich. "He makes her laugh." Glancing over her shoulder at Willow, she asked, "That's important, right?"

"Well, yeah, but..." Willow thought about the tape hidden in her purse, the other one already just bits of plastic and torn tape, and slowly nodded. "He makes her laugh," she murmured a bit wonderingly.

"And he's got a cute butt." Dawn grinned and turned back to the view through the doorway. Her eyes widened.

As Buffy and Spike's eyes met and held, the laughter died quickly. Rising on her knees, Buffy cupped his cheeks in her hands, her fingers tracing the fine bones beneath the skin.

"Why do you put up with me, Spike?" she murmured.

"You know why, Buffy." One of his hands played in her hair, brushing the bangs from her forehead. "I love you."

"I...don't..." She couldn't finish, dropping her eyes, not wanting to see the hurt in his.

"I know," he whispered, no sadness in his voice. His hand slid down her face between their bodies to rest gently over her heart. "Not love, but you feel something. Inside, you sing to me. If I close my eyes, I can hear that silent song."

His eyes fell shut and her fingers slipped into his hair, bringing his head to her breast. "What do you hear?"

"Passion, hunger, caring...but mostly need."

Her fingers found the back of his neck beneath the collar of his shirt. "Can you fill the need in me, Spike?"

"If you'd only let me, I'd try," he swore softly, his arms going around her back to hold her in a gentle embrace.

Feeling suddenly warm and protected, Buffy slipped one hand into her pocket to finger the crystal--the first real gift he'd given her--then smiled and rose to her feet.

Spike stared at the hand she held out for him, but finally took it and stood.

"Come upstairs?"

He started. "Here? But..."

"There's no social worker to jump out of the closet and scold me, my sister already adores you, you and Willow seem awfully friendly, I just don't think anyone here will disapprove."

As his fingers squeezed hers gently, he gave her a hesitant smile. "Not even you?"

Buffy smiled back and tugged him towards the stairs. "Not even me."

As she put her foot on the first step, he caught up to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Nuzzling her neck, he chuckled, "Will you bring me breakfast in bed?"

"If you earn it," she teased, breaking free and dashing up the stairs.

Amazed at her change in attitude, Spike took the stairs two at a time and silently promised to pay Anya for the crystal the next time he was at The Magic Box.

Her resistance broken down by the silence from the living room, Willow finally asked Dawn, "What are they doing?"

Dawn turned, face bright red, mouth hanging open.

Willow's eyes widened as she jumped over several conclusions. "You're kidding." Brushing past Dawn, she peeked into the now empty living room. "Where'd they..." A thump from upstairs cut off her question and she blushed as red as Dawn. "I got a surprise check from my absentee parents today. How about we hit the grocery. We're out of just about everything."

"Good idea." They began to hurry to the front door. As they grabbed their purses, another thump and the sound of laughter drifted down the stairs. "Geez, she was never this loud with Riley."

Willow glanced up the stairs and smiled. "She's happy."

Dawn sighed heavily and stepped outside. "Okay, she can be loud if she's happy. Y'know, it's kind of cool, her and Spike."

Pulling the door closed behind her, Willow smiled in agreement. "Though let's not tell Xander just yet..."

 

The End

 

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