And I did – technically. But I also came back and got to live longer than any other Slayer.

I have also experienced what no other Slayer has before: a somewhat normal life. I went to college, I found a job, I have a circle of friends near and dear to me who know who I really am and still help as much as ever.

But more importantly than all of that, I got to experience love.

Tangible, undying love.

Not only once, but twice.

What Angel and I had all those long years ago was real. And I still cherish it very much. But as much as it was love, it was also pain, and there’s just so much pain someone can bear.

What Riley and I have is just as real. And there’s no pain attached to it. When I wake up in the morning, he’s always there, his strong arms wrapped around me. When I come home from patrol, he’s always there too, his worry over my every scratch fading only when he’s absolutely sure beyond any doubt that I am okay. It’s so sweet I can’t help but laugh every time.

It wasn’t always laughs and flowers between us, of course. The first time I went to Iowa with him for a holiday, I was so sure I would lose him. I could never leave the Hellmouth – I had finally come to accept that fact – and I knew that he dreamed of raising children on the farm. I guess I underestimated his love for me. He let go of so many dreams just to be with me.

I couldn’t believe how happy I was the day we got married. A part of me kept thinking that it wouldn’t last – it never lasts. How wrong I was.

Sure, we don’t have kids, and we both still battle the Forces of Darkness every night, and we’re stuck here, in Sunnydale. But we have a really nice house, we get to spoil our friends’ kids, and we’ve got each other. I’ve got him.

Whatever the crisis, however many apocalypses we’ve had to prevent, he’s always managed to make me smile afterwards. Knowing that I’ve got him waiting to embrace me in his strong arms when I return from patrolling alone – it’s part of what has been keeping me alive all these nights. It’s simple really. I love him, and he loves me. And that’s making me the luckiest and happiest woman on Earth.

The End

<< back