"Cruel Justifications"

Author: Claudia D. Christian
Email: CHANDRA1C@aol.com

The more I feel
the more I die
nothing to give
nothing inside

everything I touch I break.
- "Everything I Touch" by Stabbing Westward from their album "Darkest Days"

"Tell me Buffy, what do you see when you look at me?"

Running her pained eyes over his face, she saw Angel. She saw the face that she had loved with pure innocence. Everything was the same, the way he felt, the way he smelled, the way he looked.

Until she looked into his eyes. His eyes were the eyes of a killer. Remorseless. Even if he never said a word, as long as she could look into his eyes, she would know. He was Angelus, not Angel.

"I see you as you really are. I see a monster."

"Must you resort to name-calling?"

"If it fits demon."

Chuckling he rubbed his pelvis against her, delighting in the slight unwilling arch of her hips. "Oh you poor little girl. Didn't your mommy tell you that monsters don't exist?" Bringing his mouth towards her neck he lightly sucked and nibbled on the smooth column. Hearing the shallow gasps she tried to hold back, he continued to run his lips over her sensitive spots.

Tightly closing her eyes in a useless effort to close off her body to the sensations of his beautiful mouth, Buffy said "My mom also said that if I ever did see monsters to tell them to go away and then they'd vanish. Go away."

"Well it seems that your mommy lied to you twice. Monsters DO exist and they won't go away. Ever." His mouth moved up to swoop down on her lips, devouring her tender mouth.

Buffy tried to break away from his kiss, but it was in vain. Every time she moved her head, he quickly followed. Finally she bit down on his tongue---hard. With a hiss Angelus tore his mouth away from hers. Sitting up, with his thighs straddling her hips, he brought up a finger and gingerly touched his injured tongue. Dark eyes narrowed in fury, he yanked her up while simultaneously moving off of her.

Shaking her by the lapels of her jacket he promised "Bitch! I'll make you beg for that!" Snaking an arm around her waist, he trapped her arms between their bodies. With his other hand, Angelus held Buffy's head, his fingers deeply entangled in her hair.

Forced to look at him, Buffy could see the towering rage reflected in his eyes. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she had responded to his kiss. Before she had become completely lost, she thought What is wrong with you Buffy? He betrayed you. With other women. He's only using you. Again. That was why she had deliberately provoked him by biting his tongue.

In a honeyed tongue she asked "What's the matter Angelus? Don't like getting bit? You like to dish it out but you can't take it huh?

"You tell me later on when I return the favor."

"What makes you thing you'll even get the chance?" Hardening her voice she warned "I'm not going to make it easy. If I were you, I wouldn't count on walking out of here."

In a condescending tone he asked "You think I want to kill you? No, my darling idiot, I don't want you dead. I never have. At least I haven't for a long time. If you were dead, what fun would I have?"

Bristling at his words she spat "I hate you Angelus!"

Giving her head a hard shake he dropped the false cheer and growled back "I hate you too." Voraciously he bit and kissed her neck. Running his tongue along her jaw he warned "If you bite my tongue again I'll make you bleed" before thrusting it into her mouth.

His kiss was brutal. Buffy felt as if she couldn't breathe. His arm was crushing her against his bare chest. She was totally entrapped. Even though Angelus' intent didn't include trying to kill her because of Daniel, it didn't mean she was out of danger. The greatest danger not necessarily being Angelus, but herself.

Even now exhiliaration was flooding her weak body.

Rapidly her logic faded to give into carnality.

For several minutes Angelus feasted on her sweet mouth. Slowly releasing her hair and her body, he warily waited for her to try to bolt from the bed. She just knelt there with her eyes closed and her breath coming out in a rapid outpouring. When she finally opened her eyes, he coldly smiled.

"Still hate me?" Jerking slightly from the frigidness of his question, she shook her head. "No?" Mirthlessly laughing he sardonically said "Why am I not surprised? If anything, you are predictable Slayer."

His arm shot out to yank her jacket off. Then he ripped his shirt off her body. She let out a muffled shriek when he pulled her across his lap and slipped her shoes off her feet and threw them across the room. Holding her down with his hand on the small of her back, he jerked her pants off.

Running his hand in a mockery of a caress up her legs, he stopped at the white cotton panties that flashed brightly against her tanned body. Slipping his hand under the elastic band he easily ripped them off her body. "Didn't I tell you to always wear silk or satin panties Buffy?" His hand came down fiercely across her bottom. "Didn't I tell you I never want to see you in anything else?" His hand rained down a torrent of blows that quickly turned her bottom a bright cherry-red color.

Sobbing she pressed down against his rock-hard thighs, trying to find an escape from the pain. This only caused her sensitive kernel of desire to be rubbed against him, throwing her body into a cauldron of burning pain and white-hot pleasure. She arched up to get off his lap only to have Angelus push her back down.

After several minutes of his unrelenting punishment Buffy was crying in great, heaving fits. It wasn't just from the physical torment but the humiliaton of being so totally subjugated.

Suddenly the blows stopped.

Angelus silently contemplated her shuddering form while he absently stroked her back with the tips of his fingers. In a deceptively soothing tone he asked "Will I ever see you in cotton again?" His large hand then grasped one blistering cheek, delighting in her moan of pain.

Docilely she answered "N-no."

"Good girl." He then massaged her bottom with a gentle stroke. Her body's movements of protest gradually eased as she gave into the soothing rhythm of his caress. Lowering his head he laid a wet, open-mouthed kiss on each of her abused cheeks.

Murmuring his name Buffy felt as if she had received an absolution from her lover. He had hurt her, but now he was going to make it better. He that giveth pain will taketh away.

Only if thy faith is strong enough.

Thoughts of how she had just committed blasphemy flitted through her head before being dismissed. She already was guilty of far more blasphemous acts than this. If the Lord needed to judge her, he had far more blacker deeds to convict her than her thoughts.

Gently turning her over, Angelus gathered her small form in his arms. Resting his chin on the top of her tousled hair he quietly said "Tell me what happened with Daniel. I want the truth." His voice hardened as he warned "If you lie to me it will go worse for you. Tell me."

Hoarsely she answered "Angelus I swear to you that I didn't sleep with him."

"I asked you to tell me what happened. I want to know everything. Don't make me ask again."

"He and I...we're just friends. Daniel cares alot about me, more than he should. One night he kissed me and I, well, kissed him back. We came close but I couldn't at the end."

"Did he see you naked?"

Swallowing against the fear of his reaction, she shakily said "Y-yes. He did." She waited to hear his explosion in vain. He only emotionlessly asked "What else?"

Warily Buffy asked "What do you mean?"

Impatience made his voice snappish. "Well did he go down on you? You know: lick you, eat you, perform cunnilingus?"

Staring at his chest she answered in a small voice "No. I...we didn't get that far. I mean...what I'm trying to say is...I didn't let him."

"But he wanted to?"

"Angelus please, I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Pleasantly he responded "Tough shit baby. I'm not finished asking you questions. You will answer each one, even if it takes the rest of your life. Now, why didn't you let him? I know how your body works Buff. Why wouldn't you let him do it?"

Moving her head from under his chin she looked into his frigid eyes. "Because he wasn't you. Because no matter how hard I tried to pretend that his touch was better than yours, it just wasn't." Bringing a hand up to touch his unyielding jaw, she achingly whispered "He just wasn't you."

Unwillingly touched by the sincerity of her words, Angelus reached up to envelope her small hand in his. "So then you threw him out?"

Clarifying she said "I asked him to leave."

"Which he did of course?"

"Of course."

"And he's been the only one you've been with?"

"You've been the only one that I've slept with Angelus."

Caustically he said "Ah but don't forget about good old Angel. And now Daniel. So let me get this straight: you kissed him, got naked with him in this bed, letting him see all that was mine, and then asked him to leave."

Cautiously Buffy silently nodded, her eyes never breaking contact with his.

"Well it hardly seems worth it lover. You betrayed me without at least getting a come out of it." A new thought took hold of him. "He didn't make you come, did he?" His hand tightened crushingly around hers.

Exasperation laced her words as she said "No! But what would you have preferred Angelus? Either way I'm fucked right? Whether I did or didn't, it really doesn't matter to you, because I'm just a big ho for trying to move on with my life!"

Ignoring the end of her statement he said "Yes Buffy, as you eloquently put it, either way you're fucked. But if someone else had made you come...at least you'd have that comfort of revenge against my sins." He released her hand and got off the bed, surprisingly putting Buffy gently down in the process.

Agitatedly he began to pace. His fury at the situation was unbearable but he felt as if he didn't know what to do with her. It was as if he couldn't maintain his ire towards her.

Was he losing his touch?

Running a hand through his hair he felt stumped. Damn he was turning into a pussy! Why couldn't he go over there and beat the shit out of her? Dammit! What in God-forsaken Hell was wrong with him? He was supposed to be learning a little something about how love was the anti-Christ to all that was evil in the world like himself.

FUCK!

Think Angelus think! Think of Buffy's naked body next to that punk's body! Think of that piece of crap running his hands all over her and think of how she must have liked it! Good, he could feel a stirring of anger at Buffy returning to his mind.

Look at her sitting on that bed. The same bed that you just fucked her in. The same bed that she almost fucked someone else in. More anger pumped into his mind like a deadly venom.

You pitiful excuse for a vampire. Where's your control? She's probably laughing at you for being as wimpy as Angel. Look at you, pacing like a fool. Have you no sense? Buffy Summers has a new lap dog and his name is Angelus. Next time she has the urge to screw someone will you politely bow out and then afterwards ask her if she had a good time?

That did it!

Angelus was completely re-immersed in his fury. Abruptly stopping in the midst of his pacing, he let his eyes run over Buffy's lush form. She was sitting with her back against the iron headboard, partially covered by a rumpled sheet with a tiny floral print. Her tousled blond hair lay on her shoulders. A few unruly locks partially covered a plump breast, allowing only the merest hint of dark nipple to peek through.

All in all, she made an alluring disheveled sight.

He had the urge, no the NEED to see the Slayer so thoroughly humiliated that she would never think to look at another man ever again. He yearned to see her writhe in the dark pain of ecstasy.

Silently he vowed he would break her this night.

"Come here Buffy" he solemnly commanded.

The determined gleam in his eyes did not bode well for her. Warily she inched her way from the headboard only to be stopped by a motion of his hand. His voice flowing over her like smooth silk, he said "No Buffy. I want you to crawl to me darling. On your pretty hands and knees." Seeing her hesitation he barked "Now!"

Her mind balked but Buffy's wretched sense of obedience at these particular matters had become too deeply ingrained to disobey. Swallowing the lump of shame lodged in her throat, she crept off the bed. Once she was on all fours she slowly crawled towards Angelus.

With each inch that she traveled she entered a state of complete awareness. She was aware of the chipped and scarred hardwood floor digging into her palms and knees. She was aware of the distant ticking of a clock. She was aware of the dull, rhythmic sound of water slowly dripping in the kitchen sink.

Most of all, she was aware of how degrading it was to crawl to her addiction.

For the love of her addiction.

Once she reached his bare feet she waited for his next command. How long would he make her wait? Would he immediately force her to his twisted desires? Or would he ignore her, for hours maybe, while she knelt at his feet like some prized pet? Would she be forced to endure the pride-stripping ignobility of feeling helpless, subject to his whim and all the while naked at his feet?

Oh but what feet he had. How unfair was the unholy force of nature that created such a creature that not only had such perfect dark beauty, but also had such perfect feet?

As if he had read her thoughts Angelus ordered "Kiss them." Willingly Buffy obliged, lowering her head to brush her lips over one foot and then the other. Fervently she kissed both feet, running her lips and tongue over his toes and up to his ankles.

Score: Angelus 1 Buffy 0.

His feet shifted slightly, silently enjoying her adulation. Buffy's obvious enthusiasm surprised him, but knowing firsthand her passionate nature, Angelus realized that she turned her task into one of erotic self-plesure. It was time to turn things up another notch.

"Enough." When she didn't immediatley stop, he jerked his foot out in a quick kick, knocking her back to fall on her side. "When I tell you to do something lover I expect you to do it. Now follow me." Arrogantly not bothering to see if she would obey, Angelus walked towards the couch. When he turned around Buffy was right there, as he expected still on all fours.

Imperiously he ordered "Stay" and went over to his discarded coat. Picking it up he rifled his hand in one pocket. With an exclamation of triumph, Angelus dropped the coat to the floor and padded over to Buffy. His lips parted to reveal a wicked grin. "Remember these baby?"

Numbly Buffy recognized the golden objects in his hand. One of them was a pair of chains made of small gold links. In each link a flawless sapphire was set, resulting in hundreds of priceless stones. Angelus had it designed especailly for her, or so he had told her. It was made to go around her waist, settling low on her hips, with the connecting chain going right between her legs.

Once put on it would rub and tease her unmercifully if there wasn't any slack on the chain. The length could be adjusted according to his whim, controlled by a hidden clasp. At times in the past he wickedly would have the chain hang low, knowing that Buffy would be forced to wear longer, more concealing clothes in order to keep others from seeing it.

Even though it looked incredibly delicate it was surprisingly strong. Not strong enough that she couldn't break it, but strong enough that their energetic couplings never did it any damage.

Buffy alternately loved and loathed it. She loathed what it stood for, but she loved that no matter where she was Angelus could touch her, if only through his gift.

After he had placed it on her, it never came off her body. There were times after a heated argument with Angelus that she would grip the chain in one hand, ready to yank if off but she never did. At least not until the night she found about Cynthia and all the others.

The second object dangling from his raised hand was also made out of gold. It was a wide collar consisting of dozens of ropes all tightly interlocked. In the center a large, also flawless, sapphire glittered in the half-light. Once fitted around her neck, the sturdy golden chain, the third object held in his hand, could be attached to the collar in essence making it a leash.

Albeit an extremely expensive leash, but a leash nonetheless.

"I see you haven't forgotten your presents. They looked so...decadent on you Buff." Musing out loud he studied the body chain. "You'll never believe what this cost me to have it repaired. Even though I thought I was getting cheated, I had to have it fixed."

Tersely she stated "Really you shouldn't have."

Grinning at her Angelus said "No, I couldn't let such a work of art remain destroyed. Afterall, I knew I would be running into you again and I know just how much you LOVED wearing this.

Walking back to her he snapped his fingers in the old gesture of 'Get up' and fastened the chain around her. Sadistically he left no slack in the chain at all. Every movement Buffy would make would soon have her aroused to an unbearbable pitch.

Stepping slightly away from her, his eyes lustlfully surveyed the erotic vision she made. The tininess of her waist became emphasized and the sight of the chain bisecting her lower lips brought a surge of lust to his already lust-filled body. His eyes bored into her pussy, the sight of the sapphires twinkling amidst her tawny curls was one that he had always enjoyed, and hadn't had the plesure of seeing for far too long.

Thickly he said "Oh yes, it was definitely worth it. I would pay ten times that amount just to see you like this." Watching a flush creep up her body from her growing desire and his intense words, Angelus fitted the collar around her slim neck and then attached the chain to it. Casually he said "Fortunately I got my money back---"

"How?" Buffy sharply asked.

Darkly laughing he answered "How else would I have gotten it back? I killed him." Let her be reminded that she belonged to evil. Besides she didn't need to know that the pervert liked to touch little boys...

Pain glazing her eyes Buffy felt a tension grip her. Immediately she felt sick. To know that the last human that touched this was murdered by him...

It wasn't because he felt cheated, he killed for the joy of it. Or he killed when he was reminded of things that he didn't want to think about. Buffy felt that at the time that the chain was repaired, it was most likely thoughts of her that caused Angelus to take his deadly anger out on someone else.

Seeing the sickness twisting her features in a grimace of disgust, Angelus cheerfully stated "Don't feel too bad for him Buff. He was already old and didn't suffer...too much."

"You disgust me! I hate you! I hate it when you touch me---"

In a flash his hand shot out and backhanded her. Jovially he chided "What did I tell you about lying lover?" Jerking the chain down, Buffy was back on all fours again.

Pleasantly continuing as if nothing untoward had happened he stated "Now I know it's been two years since your training but I trust you haven't forgotten everything." Strolling to the bathroom, with the leash in one hand and Buffy keeping pace next to his leg, he ordered "Draw a bath and make it hot."

Mentioning the jeweler didn't put his Slayer in the most receptive mood, but it once again proved to her that she loved a being of evil. There was going to be no illusions tonight to what he was and always would be. His temporary insanity with the thought of being in love with Buffy would vanish once he got on with her torments.

He would hurt her this night, not only physically but mentally and emotionally. He would strip away and and every barrier that she cose to put up. He would force her to bare her heart and soul to him. Then he would ruthlessly crush them and in the process, crush her.

In the end it was better for both of them this way.

Leaning against the doorjamb he silently observed Buffy prepare their bath. When she turned to him with a box of Mr. Bubbles in her hand, he nodded his head to her unspoken question. Once the tub was frothing with bubbles and filled to the correct level, Buffy turned back to him.

"Undress me."

"With my teeth?" she archly asked.

Crookedly smiling he said "Not this time. You may use your hands, but be quick about it." Taking the few steps between them she dropped down to her knees. Her nimble fingers rapidly had his pants unbuttoned. Reaching up slightly, she tugged his waist down and soon his erection popped free, lightly hitting her in the cheek.

Quickly looking up Buffy caught Angelus' amused look, which caused her to blush brightly. Dropping her gaze in embarrassment she pulled the pants down his legs until it was down to his ankles.

For a brief moment she rested her face against his cool, sinewy thigh. He was her enemy, he was a killer, he was a demon, he was everything she stood against.

He was also everything in the world to her that he wasn't supposed to be.

She loved him. Or maybe it was Angel that she loved and this was the closest she could get to him so she deluded herself into thinking that it was Angelus that she loved. Or maybe she loved both. If so, the lines had gotten blurred so long ago that she couldn't remember anymore.

All she did know was that her hatred and her love was a living thing unto itself. The love and burgeoning lust she had felt for Angel was nothing compared to what she felt for Angelus. Every part of her body responded to him in a way that was illogical, but powerful in its' insanity.

Rationally she knew that she shouldn't be playing these games with him, but she couldn't stop. While she hated feling like an indistinguishable sex slave to him, she loved being possessed by him.

Besides, if things became too much she could always get out if it.

Sure you can Buffy an inner voice jeered at her. Things became too much the first night you slept with Angelus. You can fool others but you can't fool yourself. You will never get out of this because you DON'T want to get out of it.

Her reverie was broken by a rude jerk of the chain. Pulling her face away from him, she slid each pant-leg off when he lifted a foot up. Completely nude, Angelus climbed in and sank into the hot, bubbly water. Closing his eyes and laying his head back against the white tiles he would have sighed in bliss if he had the breath.

Without opening his eyes he ordered "Bathe me."

Reaching over for the soap, Buffy was stopped by the clamp of his hand on her wrist. "No I want you in here with me."

Carefully climbing into the tub, Buffy inhaled sharply because of the heat of the water. Angelus always like his water almost scalding, and even though she liked really hot water, it was too hot. Gingerly settling over him she sat on his lower abs.

Noticing her discomfort he insincerely apologized. "Sorry babe. I forget how delicate you humans are."

Falsely smiling she said "It's not a problem, really. At the most I'll have a few blisters, but it's nothing I can't handle. For a human that is."

Gathering the bar of soap she rolled it over and over in her hands until they were fully lathered. She first started with his chest, sensuously kneading the muscles and feeling every inch of his torso.

Her eys flitted shut as she caressed and massaged him. Because of the temperature of the bath, his skin had lost its' customary coolness and felt warm like a human's. She allowed herself to daydream and imagine what it would be like if Angelus wasn't a vampire but a human. If he were capable of kinder emotions, if he loved her like she loved him.

Unbeknownst to her, Angelus had been watching her for several moments. The feline look of pleasure had transformed to tremulous joy. What was she thinking? What would cause her to look so happy? His eyes lowered to watch her small hands. They had stopped their circular, kneading motions instead to alternately lay palm down on his chest and then palm up. It was as if she were feeling the warmth of his skin...

His eyes took on a flinty cast as he surmised what she was thinking about. Dipping his hand into the water, he flung a large amount of it at her face. She immediately reared back sputtering, her blue eyes narrowed with outrage. "Don't waste your time thinking about the impossible Buffy."

"How would you know about what I was thinking about? Anyways, I wasn't thinking of you."

Sardonically chuckling he said "Oh really? Please enlighten me. What were you thinking about?"

Knowing she was caught she muttered "None of your business." Grabbing the soap again she lathered her hands to wash his arms. Briskly she soaped one arm and then started soaping the other one. When her fingers encountered the chain in his hand, she visibly flinched from it.

Noting her reaction Angelus smiled. Reaching out with his other hand he began to caress her collar. His fingers played over the surface of the jewel. It was a priceless stone, beautiful and rare, but it paled significantly in comparison to the woman who wore it. He had always been a collector of beautiful things and Buffy Summers had to be the most exquisite thing he had ever owned.

He loved seeing her in jewels. He always had. Just remembering the time he had her draped in nothing but ropes and ropes of jewels made his eyelids droop sensually. Mentally he shook his head. There would be plenty of time later to play the devoted courtier who presents tokens of his affection to his lady fair, but right now this was more fun.

He loved being an asshole to her!

Buffy felt more and more uncomfortable as the minutes dragged by. She felt so vulnerable sitting on him, naked except for the jewelry, bathing him like a hedonistic aristocrat of centuries past. Every movement she made in washing him caused her to be awash in longing. She could feel her flesh rub against his taut stomach and she could feel the chain dig into her own private jewel.

"Tell me again, why did you leave?"

Her hands stilled in the task of washing his neck and she stiffly drew up. "I thought I made it more than clear to you. I hated being so dependant on this---"

"You hated being my slave, you hated being so weak, yeah I got the point." His eyes boring into hers he asked "Did you try to eradicate all things vampire, including myself, that night in Sunnydale solely because of the other playthings in my life?"

Buffy's vulnerablity was writ all too clearly on her face. "Playthings? That's what they were? That's what I am?" She felt twisted with a sick fury. "I had had enough of you treating me like shit. It was time for me to start doing my job, you know, slaying?"

Idly running a hand around her breasts, he cupped and kneaded them, delighting in the feel of her nipples growing hard against his palm. Staring at her with hooded eyes he stated "But you like being treated like shit, lover. In fact I have never had the pleasure of dallying with a mortal who takes it so well like you do. Even though are not and will not be the only plaything I have, you are the best."

Tears gathered in her eyes at the truth in his words. She did like being treated like shit. Not on the surface level, but deep inside. Maybe it was because she came from a broken home, maybe it was because she was always expected to do the right thing, or maybe it was because she was the Slayer. Whatever it was, she desired and needed to be broken down and molded into whatever image Angelus wanted.

However, that didn't mean that she would happily tolerate him screwing around on her. For him to tell her to her face that he would always have 'playthings' stirred up blinding fury. Drawing back her arm she slapped him in his smug face---hard. "You want playthings? Fine. But I will not be one of them!"

Angelus immediately slapped her back, even harder than she had slapped him, causing the side of her head to crash against the wall. If she had been a normal human, it would have broken her neck. As it was, it would definitely leave a nasty bruise on her cheekbone.

Sitting forward abruptly, he caused the water to slosh out of the tub and onto the floor. Wrapping his hands around her neck, he squeezed with just enough pressure to make her feel light-headed.

"Listen to me and listen to me well: you are and ALWAYS will be my plaything. If I choose to come to you with some other woman's come all over my cock, not only will you fuck me, but you'll lick it off if I tell you to. Do you understand?!"

Clawing at his hands she gasped "NO! I deserve...to have...a man who wants...just me...if not you...then someone...else..."

Her words caused him to transform to his demonic visage. Growling he tightened his hold and dunked her under the water. Her legs and arms splashed helplessly before he brought her up again. Loosening his grip from around her neck, he shook her violently while he roared "YOU SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN AND I WILL KILL YOU! YOU WILL NEVER FUCK ANYONE ELSE! EVER!" Flinging her away from him, he watched dispassionately as she coughed and wheezed for breath.

Buffy leaned heavily against the side of the tub, desperately trying to draw in breath. The black spots dancing in her vision subsided and she was soon able to draw in enough oxygen to her tortured lungs. Her hair was plastered to her bruised face and she winced when she ran her fingers through her scalp to pull if off her cheek.

In a hoarse voice she dully said "Bastard. I pray for the night you turn your back on me. When you do I promise you'll be ash flying in the air."

"Nah, I don't think so lover. You can't kill me, remember? You love me too much." The demon visage left his features and transformed to looking human once again.

Dazedly focusing on him she said, "Unfortunately for me, you don't feel the same."

"Oh baby I would never kill you." Pausing he corrected "Unless you fucked someone other than me that is."

Gesturing to the vivid purple bruises on her neck that creeped up above the collar, she wheezed "So what the hell would you call this? Looks like attempted murder to me." Buffy broke into a hacking cough, grasping the side of the tub harder.

Lifting her to straddle him again, Angelus ran his hands tenderly over her back. Inching her forward until her neck was close to his mouth, he delictely kissed the abused flesh. "Don't you see how perfectly you belong to me? Don't you feel the passion between us? Why does it matter what I do elsewhere as long as we have this?"

Dragging in a shaky breath she whispered "It does matter to me. I shouldn't have to share even a jerk like you. If I can't play, why should you be able to?"

Lightly biting her abraded skin, he ignored her hiss of pain. "Because I can. YOU can't. It's as simple as that."

"So I'm just one of your whores, is that right?"

"Like I told you before, you're MY whore. How many I have is none of your concern." Moving his lips to her soft nipples he flicked his tongue around them a few times before they pebbled in his mouth. He soaked in her delightful cries of pleasure as he bit and licked her lush breasts.

"You have no right---"

Pressing his lips against her he broke in with "I have every right. I control things here, got it babe? As long as I come back to your bed, what I do out of it isn't up for debate. Understand?"

Losing herself in the magic of his mouth she gasped "Angelus, please...it's not right---" Buffy harshly cried out when she felt him ferociously bite both nipples. "Alright I understand!" He immediately licked and nuzzled them in reward.

Triumph gleaming brightly in his eyes he leaned back against the tiled wall. "Good girl. I don't want to hear anymore of you bitching about Cynthia or Druscilla or any other silly sluts."

Swallowing down the resentment and hurt she felt at his high-handedness, Buffy avoided looking into his eyes. Where the hell did her spirit go when it came to him? He just about choked the life from her and not only did she not even kill him for it, she just docilely agreed to be apart of his harem and not complain about it.

Score: Angelus 2 Buffy 0

Being an expert at human suffering Angelus could see the self-contempt rising within her. She was probably wondering how she could accept an animal such as himself controlling her life. He knew that rubbing her nose in the knowledge of his other women hurt her, but that was the point.

He couldn't deny that he liked variety when it came to women, but that wasn't really why he screwed around. It was an issue of pride. He couldn't be seen as 'tied down' to any woman, much less the Slayer. He couldn't let her think that she had that strong of a hold on him.

The fact that he just told her in no uncertain terms that he still planned on seeing others hurt her considerably and he knew that. While a tiny, disgusting part of him balked at his cruelness, it wasn't strong enough to change his course.

Shifting his attention back to her, he saw her rising off of him. Grabbing the trailing end of ther leash, he stopped her from getting out of the tub. "Buffy, where do you think you're going? You've not finished with my bath."

With a bowed head and slumped shoulders she heavily sat back down. Just when she didn't think she could feel any worse heartbreak that what she felt before, it got worse.

Listlessly she grabbed the bar of soap and twisted her body to soap his long sinewy legs. Even the chain rubbing against her was not enough to raise her out of self-pity.

Pathetic. That's what she was.

A freakin' pathetic nutcase like the ones you saw on Springer. The guy treats the girl like a piece of trash and she stupidly feeds into it. The girl is so out of touch with what healthy relationships are supposed to be about that she can't see what is so wrong with her own situation.

She just yells back and forth with her jerk and at the end of the show makes all sorts of empty ultimatums but still goes back with him, feeling like she's keeping a prize.

What made her own life even worse was that she couldn't plead ignorance. Buffy knew that this relationship was detrimental to her self-esteem, but she couldn't stop. Hell, she left Sunnydale in the hopes of escape, but two years hadn't changed anything.

There wasn't a night that went by that she didn't hope, deep in her soul, for the chance to see him again. Even after all the shit that he put her through. When he walked through her door a few hours before, she didn't fight that hard against him. In fact it really couldn't be termed a fight, more like a struggle just to soothe her conscious.

And here she was, washing his feet like an houri in a harem. All her spurts of fire and independence were just that: spurts lacking real substance. Every encounter with him was a contest in which she lost another piece of her soul.

Finally meeting his eyes again, she asked "Do you want me to wash your hair?"

Idly playing with the chain he said "Yes, but make sure you keep the suds out of my eyes. You know how I hate for that to happen."

Jerk! Reminding her of another past incident of submission! If she had more fight in her she would purposely pour a whole bottle of shampoo in his cursed eyes and watch him howl with pain. Strangely, it seemed a little funny how shampoo could cause a two year old and a two-hundred forty-five year old vampire to act the same way.

Standing up she had to lean slightly towards him to reach the bottle of strawberry scented shampoo. When she did she felt Angelus give the slightest lick on her chain and the surrounding flesh. Looking down at him she stared at him in surprise. As badly as she was feeling, and still feeling, she was astonished that her body could feel anything at the moment.

Sitting bck down she set the bottle on the edge of the tub. Scooping her hands together she poured water over his hair until it was thoroughly wet. Flipping open the lid on the bottle, she poured a healthy drop into her palm and rubbed it into his hair. Massaging his scalp until his head was a froth of white lather, she listened to him purr in contentment.

Murmuring for him to close his eyes, she poured water over his head until all the lather was washed out. Then she finger-combed his hair until it was all pushed off his forehead. By this point the water had cooled down considerably, enough so that she began to shiver slightly.

Ignoring her shivering he commanded "Kiss me."

Staring into his eys all she could see was a tiny reflection of herself. That's how she felt: tiny and insignificant. If only there could be something more than just lust and possessiveness.

But there never would be. This was her reality, all she would ever have with him.

Leaning forward Buffy pressed her lips ever so softly upon his hard, unyielding mouth. Pulling back she was no change in his expression. Pressing her mouth against his once more, she traced his lips with the tip of her tongue until his mouth opened. Groaning slightly she gripped his wide shoulders tightly and began to rub her sensitive breasts against his chest.

All too quickly traitorous desire pounded fiercely through her body. She ached to have him touch her everywhere. She ached to have him soothe her pain. She needed to lose herself in their passion.

Yet he wouldn't touch her with his hands. He only played with the leash, the quiet clinking of the metal sliding through his fingers, audible reminders of what she was to him.

"Angelus...Angelus..." Desperately she kissed his strong jaw, his temple, his eyes, and his neck, always returning back to his mouth. The heated coursing of her need pounded her body without mercy. Every kiss she placed fanned her lust, every movement she made caused the chain to slide against the core of her desire.

Angelus could feel the frenzy that was overtaking Buffy's body. His coldness only seemed to inflame her. Her short nails dug into his shoulders, while she panted and mewled against his neck. When she bit down, he had to refrain from letting out a grunt of pleasure.

He could see that her passion was not just born out of sexual desire but also out of the desire to forget his words, to forget what she thought she meant to him. But demon that he was, he could not let Buffy forget.

Scooting a little further down his body, she began to rain kisses on his sleekly muscled chest. This caused his erection to be rubbed between her ass cheeks. Strongly sucking his nipples, Buffy began to bounce lightly against him. She delighted in feeling his shaft rub against the tiny, puckered hole of her anus. It had been so long since he introduced her to that wicked way of loving...

Not even waiting for Angelus to respond, Buffy slid down a lttle further and lifted her hips to impale herself on his cock. Just when his smooth, marble head pierced her his hands gripped her waist, stopping their joining. Writhing Buffy tried to force herself down on him but his grip was as hard as steel.

Making a tsking noise Angelus looked into her frustrated face. "No, not just yet baby. I want to hear three little words from you. If you don't say it---you don't get it."

Gasping she said "I love you."

Devilishly he grinned. "I'm afraid that's not right. I want to hear you say 'I'm your whore'."

Knowing she shouldn't be shocked at his cruelty, she still recoiled from his words. Shaking her head, she tried to ignore the feel of him inside her.

"Say it Buff. Say 'I'm---your---whore'." Angelus lifted her up and down only minutely, but enough that she began to pant with desire.

Her tattered pride bled with her words, but say them she did: "I'm...your...WHORE!" Her whisper ended with a shout when Angelus impaled her pussy on his cock. The pain in her heart grew along with her sexual desire as Angelus continued to torment her.

"That's right lover, MY whore. A whore with no rights..." Slam and thrust.

Twisting both of her nipples until she cried out form the raw pain, he grunted "You like being my slut?"

Squeezing her eyes shut Buffy breathed "No, I hate it."

Jerking her leash down until their lips were mere incches apart, he growled "Liar. Admit it: you love being my slut, bitch, or whatever I choose to make you." Not giving her a chance to deny it, he captured her lips and began to devour her passion-bruised mouth.

Their hips frantically churned against each other as they both fell to their destructive passion. Buffy rode Angelus as furiously as Angelus pumped into Buffy. Their cries grew in intensity and the cold water splashed out of the tub to soak the floor but neither noticed.

They were both lost and damned by each other.

Angelus suddenly stood up and Buffy wrapped her arms and legs around his torso in order to cling to him. Expecting him to step out of the tub, she was surprised to feel her body slam against the cool tiles of the bathtub walls.

Moving his arms down, he hooked a leg on each forearm, leaving Buffy completely stretched open. Savagely he started to pound into her body, filling her with his special brand of pain and pleasure. With each slam of his hips, not only did his cock touch the mouth of her womb, but he dug the waist chain deeper against her.

Clutching the back of his head, she began to cry as the sensations became too intense. This only seemed to incite Angelus to double his efforts; he lifted and pulled her against him as if she were weightless.

In no time at all the pain outweighed the pleasure. "Angelus stop. You're hurting me." When he didn't respond, she began to beat at his shoulders. "Stop it damn you!"

His movements never even faltered. Relentlessly he sawed in and out of her relishing in her sobs of anguish. It was as if his momentary weakness with love had never been. He needn't worry about loving the Slayer, all he needed to worry about was screwing her.

Tired of hearing her whining, he pulled out of her and tossed her onto the floor. In a flash he was straddled on her face and prying her mouth open. He then shoved his cock into her warm mouth and thrust his hips back and forth. For several minutes he fucked her lovely mouth, delighting over the sounds of her gagging and muffled tears.

"You are nothing more than a fuck to me Slayer." Each word was punctuated by a thrust.

"You are just a toy, my fucktoy." More thrusting and gagging.

"You are just a pretty whore to me Buffy." Quick and uncontrolled thrusting.

"Just...a...fuck..." Angelus then shouted from the power of his climax, his hand on her jaw forcing Buffy to swallow all of his dead semen.

Getting off her, he leaned against the toilet and watched her curl into a ball. He could only guess at what she was exactly feeling, but he was sure that she felt like shit. Just as he planned.

Score: Angelus 3 Buffy 0.

Buffy's soft sobs echoed in the small bathroom. She felt so sick.

So dirty and used.

The sticky taste of his semen wouldn't go away, no matter how hard she swallowed. God, what did she ever do to deserve this? What perverted sense of humor did He have to allow her to fall in love with such a heartless creature?

It was so horrible to fel so degraded, to allow oneself to be so degraded. She had the strength to fight him back, so why didn't she?

She never wanted to have to look into his face again. She didn't want to see the malicious glee burning in his dark eyes. Without thinking, she got up to run out of there. Quickly she was brought up short by the painful yank on her bruised neck. Turning around she saw the golden glimmer he held up in his hand.

And she saw nothing but mocking pity in his eyes at her humiliation.

Something finally snapped in her. Immediately she fell upon him with powerful fists, connecting with his flesh with every blow. Several times she banged his head against the hard porcelain of the toilet, feeling satisfaction with each grunt of pain that he made.

Angelus didn't fight back for several moments allowing her to vent her anger, but finally he had enough. His first few blows made little impression on her, but after several hits to her midsection and one to her pubic bone Buffy bent over in excruciating agony.

"I didn't want to hurt you Buff---well I did, but not like that."

"Funny...I don't believe you, but let me ask anyways: why did you?"

"Because you make it so easy, lover. Besides, I had to punish you."

"For what? Daniel?"

"No, that was for biting me. I've got a long list of grievances against you Slayer. Daniel, while being a big one, has to wait in line."

"I've never hated you as much as I do now." Buffy coldly stated between gasps of pain.

"I'm sure."

Picking up her unresisting body, he held her securely against his ches. He knew when to torment and when to cease. It was now time to switch to another tactic.

"I don't love you Angelus. Not anymore."

Smugly smiling he thought We'll just have to see about that my darling Slayer. We'll just have to see. With that, he walked out of the bathroom and towards the couch, already anticipating what he would do to Buffy next.

The End

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