Author: Holli
Email: summersfinn@hotmail.com

I am sitting across the room from them. She's sitting on his lap, whispering in his ear. When she pulls back, she's got this mischievious smile on her face and he quirks an eyebrow, then pulls her back against his chest and whispers something back. This has been going on for about an hour and it's just now beginning to make me nauseous.

Though, I just can't make myself pull away. I can't make myself take my eyes from her. Tonight, she's dressed in casual clothes, in the baggiest clothes I've ever seen her in. Her jeans are a few sizes too big and her shirt, well, it's one of Riley's.

I know I am making myself sick with this infatuation I have with her, but what more is a guy to do? I would love to just turn away from her and not look back, but every time I see her, every time I talk to her, I am pulled back into her web. It's like she's got this stranglehold on me and it won't disperse.

Mason explodes into the room, bellowing Riley's name. I watch as he pushes Buffy off his lap, kissing her lightly on the forehead. She looks disappointed, but as she turns around, her eyes focus on me and I don't know if it's me hoping it, but her green eyes brighten.

My entire body tenses as she walks toward me and then she sits down next to me. "Hey Graham! Whatcha doing sitting here all by yourself?"

I pick up my beer and taking a long swig before answering, "Just getting drunk, drowning the sorrows."

She scoots closer. What is she trying to do? She's trying to give me a heart attack, that's what she's trying to do. And she is succeeding.

Her knees are pressed against my thighs, and she slings an arm behind my neck as she rests her head against my shoulders. "What sorrows do you have to drown, Graham?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Normal stuff."

"Like what?" she prods.

"Well, for one, there's this girl."

She leans back. "A girl? You never told me you were dating anybody."

"I'm not," I say simply. "She's taken."

Her smile fades. It makes my heart hurt to see her frown. "Oh, Graham, I'm sorry. Does she, I mean, do you two know each other?"

I nod my head, then take another long swig, thinking, Riley really needs to hurry before I engage in a slipping of my tongue and tell her something that I shouldn't. "We're good friends and I've grown quite attracted to her, but she's been dating a guy I know very well for a long and I just can't disrupt what they have. They are very much in love and I'm afraid if I tell her how I feel I'll lose two close friends."

She 'awws' then pulls me into her arms, embracing me. Both of us were unaware of Riley's presence in the doorway, watching us, obviously not happy with the display between the two of us. "You'll find someone, Graham. You're very attractive and smart and sweet and there are a lot of girls who would be lucky to be loved by you. She's just not deserving of you, then again, maybe she just doesn't realize you're there."

I can agree with that because she certainly can't see me. "You're probably right."

She pulls back, noticing Riley as he walks toward us. "Hey," he greets us.

We 'hey' him back, then she pulls away from me, and stands up, taking Riley's hand. I watch as he leans into her, whispering something in her ear. "That sounds nice," she responds. "Night, Graham," she tells me as Riley begins dragging her down the hallway.

At the bottom of the staircase, she turns back around, looking straight at me, a beautiful smile on her lips, she winks. I don't know what it meant, if it meant anything, but I make a promise to myself to find out.

I finish off my beer then slid off the sofa and head into the kitchen. Peering into the refrigerator I think about my conversation with Buffy. I wonder if she knows that it was her that I was talking about. If she only knew about this thing that I have for her. I'm not sure if it's love. It very well may be, but for now it's this thing that is threatening my sanity and all of my morals.

I know I have no future with Buffy and that this thing I feel for her will never be more than that, but I can hold out hope, can't I?

The End

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