That's right, I'm all alone. Wasn't that my destiny anyway? Born a Slayer, called to be one, forced to be separated from society to fight the demons that torment it. But I defied that part of my destiny. No, I had terrific friends who understood me and helped me through everything. I've had two lovers who were part of that group of friends, part of that darkness that haunted me for years on end. Now it seems as if I've come full circle, because here I am – Buffy Summers, Slayer – all alone. My destiny all along was to be alone.

My friends, my family and lovers are gone. Dead. Killed because of my destiny. Well, most of them anyway. I was supposed to fight the battles alone, but they joined in the cause, and were separated from me in those battles. And while I was busy doing my Slayer thing, they were being killed off one by one, taken away from me. My strength, my lifelines, my life.

All but one. The one who left me for my own good. He survived.

So this is love or so you tell me
As you're walking out the door
The months go by and I know for certain
It's not the love I'm looking for
Sometimes, just for a moment
I reach out and hope you're still there.

Angel. The one person who understood what it was like to be me is the only part of my old life that I have left. And where is he? In Los Angeles, saving souls to earn his redemption. He didn't even call to see if I needed his help during the battles, he was too busy to take the time to find out how things were going.

The battles ended last week; I've been alone in this house for a week.

Haven't left to eat or even go for a walk to look at how things are going in the outside world. No one has phoned or stopped by to see me, not even Angel. He's too far away.

Miles away
No, you're never turning back
I just can't wait anymore
Miles away
Nothing left of what we had
Just when I needed you most
You were miles away.

Not that he probably cares. Too much time has passed by since we tried to be friends. Angel and I just grew apart as the years passed by. Sure, at first we'd travel back and forth between Sunnydale and Los Angeles to help each other with our respective fights against evil. The trips soon became few and far between until they finally ceased.

He's the only person I have left in this entire world, and he hasn't even called to see how I am, or if even I survived. Mom and Giles were killed two weeks ago, at the beginning of the most intense battles. Followed shortly by Willow, Oz, Tara and Riley. The only two remaining were me and Xander, but even I couldn't save him from a certain death.

It's hard to tell what you're going through
You kept your feelings locked inside of you
Open your heart and chances are
What you're feeling, I'm feeling too
If only, just for a moment
Hold on to the dreams that we had.

I've debated calling, but I opted against it every time. What if he doesn't care that I survived? Angel's all I have left, and it hurts to think that I don't mean anything to him. I never used to have to wonder what he was thinking or feeling – I always knew. For so many years, I was the most important thing in his life.

But now I hardly matter. No, I'm just another warrior, a poor little girl he helped along the way. Just another soul he saved from oblivion, or wherever else a soul might go. Angel has his own life now, and I'm not a part of it. I never was, now that I think about it. We're not the same people we used to be.

Miles away
No, you're never turning back
I just can't wait anymore
Miles away
Nothing left of what we had
Just when I needed you most
You were miles away.

I'm not a part of his life anymore. Now that I think harder about it, I don't think I ever was. I've done my job, fulfilled my destiny, saved humanity, and now it's time. The world, and all the people in it, have no use for me. I can't live alone, I won't survive. I'm not strong enough to make it. I need my friends, my family; I need Angel. And none of them are here.

When times were tough
And you were down and out
Who was there by your side?
Now you're gone
And I'm so tired of being alone
With only your promises.

The knife in my hand is shining from the light of the sun. It wasn't the way I expected to die, but it'll do. I can't very well go back in time and be killed alone with everyone else in my life. But at least this way I won't be alone. Alone in a world that has no use for a girl like me. Is this what Angel was feeling that Christmas morning so many years ago? Lost, confused and utterly alone? Now I can sympathize with what he went through, because I'm going through it now. The only difference is that I was there to stop him that morning. There's nobody here to stop me.

As I lift the knife to my wrist, pressing the sharp edge to my vein, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't do it," a voice tells me.

The loneliness just fades away
Thoughts of you, just memories
No crying out for what we're missing
Time won't forget what you meant to me
If only, just for a moment
Hold on to the dreams that we had.

"Angel," I said, turning to see him crouching next to me, a sad look in his deep brown eyes. "Is it really you?"

"It's me, Buffy."

"I thought you didn't care about me. You didn't call or see me."

He looked down. "It's not that I didn't want to, but I couldn't. I had my own battles to fight and you had yours. But they're over now, and I' m here."

I nodded. "It's all over. Everyone's dead. I'm the only one left."

"Please don't do this. The world needs you."

Tears came to my eyes. "No, it doesn't. Don't you see, Angel? I'm all alone."

He took the knife out of my hand, and I let him. I had no fight left in me. I was emotionally and physically drained. "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am. I can't live alone, Angel. I just can't."

Angel took me in his arms, holding me to him. "You'll never be alone, Buffy. I'll be with you. I won't leave you ever again. I promise."

Miles away
No, you're never turning back
I just can't wait anymore
Miles away
Nothing left of what we had
Just when I needed you most
You were miles away.

The End

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