"Can I Trust You With My Heart?"

Author: A. Price
Email: andramichelle@yahoo.com
Notes: - Travis Tritt own "Can I Trust You With My Heart."


"Reality and romance are sometimes far apart.
So, what I really need to know is
Can I trust you with my heart?

Can I cast my cares upon you?
Can you stand a heavy load?
Can I count on you to walk me down that long and winding road?

If you promise me these simple things
I can guarantee, you can always count on me.

When two hearts solely surrender and are sworn to understand
It completes a perfect union between a woman and a man.

So please don't misunderstand Before we go to far
I want to know the answer
.

The red sports car sped down the road. The blonde behind the wheel smiling as she fiddled with the radio, being careful to watch the road. Buffy still could not believe she had finagled Gile's new car from him for the day. She had told him she needed a day for herself. Giles had been so impressed with the new attitude about training and learning about her calling that he had agreed and handed her the keys with a "be careful" speech and a worried look on his face.Of course if he had known where she was going, he would have probably stroked out.

She knew that by now Riley was probably calling her house, her mom would have to tell him she didn't know where Buffy was because Buffy had gotten up early and left without clueing Joyce in. Buffy knew how Joyce was going to react, and she dreaded it. She could only imagine he mother consoling Riley over the phone assuring him that Buffy was crazy to leave him. And maybe she was crazy, she had no small amount of guilt over Riley. But that guilt was nothing compared to the need to be with Angel again.

She had to do this, she had to go to him. There was just one small, nagging problem as much as she loved Angel. Could she trust him? He'd left her before, he'd made so many decisions for her. What if she got to LA and he had changed his mind again? What if they did get back together and if three months something happened to make him decide she was better off without him again? She absolutely could not have her heart broken again. She pushed the thought from her head as she drove on towards her future.

She found Angel's new place easily. She sat outside for a few moments gathering her courage before she went in. The small butterflies in her tummy on the drive up had mutated into giant butterflies and she was fighting to breathe regularly. She locked up the car and went to the door, it simply read 'Angel Investigations'. She outlined the letters of his name with one finger and took a deep breath before she pushed the door open. A small bell tinkled as she entered the empty office. Unsure of what to do next she was relieved when a man she didn't recognize came in and picked up the phone.

"Hello." She said softly, the man turned around to look at her.

"Can I help you?" He asked placing the reciever back down on the phone.

"I hope you can. Is Angel here?" She asked shyly.

"Yeah, he's downstairs. Who can I tell him is here?"

"Buffy."

"His girl, Buffy?"

Buffy nodded and blushed, "Yeah, his girl, Buffy."

"It's good to finally meet you. I'm Gunn." He offered her his hand and she shook it.

"Nice to meet you too."

Gunn smiled at her then, "I'll tell him you're here." He punched a button on the intercom.

"Yeah" The voice came from the intercom. That beautiful, silky voice that she would know anywhere. Her knees got weak.

"Angel, man you've got a visitor. A pretty visitor." Gunn winked at Buffy. She looked at the floor embarrassed.

In a matter of moments the door to the stairwell opened and Angel stepped into the room. "Buffy, I didn't expect you so early." He walked over to stand beside her.

"Umm...I couldn't sleep. So, I left early. That's okay?" She asked fearfully.

"It's perfect." He told her and reached for her hand. They smiled at one another as if they were the only two people in the world.

Gunn coughed to get Angel's attention and Angel turned to him. "Gunn, this is Buffy."

"We've met. I think this is my cue to leave. Have a nice visit. Again it was nice to meet you, Buffy." He grinned at them both as he grabbed his jacket and left.

When they were alone, Buffy turned to him. "I guess we have alot to talk about."

"Yeah, we do. Why don't we go downstairs? I gave Cordy and Wesley the day off, I didn't tell them you were coming." He noticed the worried look on her face. "It's not that I'm not happy about this, Buffy. I just don't think they are ready for this news yet. And we do have some stuff to figure out."

She squeezed his hand slightly, "It's okay. I didn't tell anyone where I was going either, for the same reasons."

"Let's go talk then." He told her as he led her down the stairs to his apartment.

The decor was simple. A few personal objects decorated the room. Buffy had to smile when she saw the small framed picture of herself on the desk in in the corner. She didn't even know he had any pictures of her. He sat down on the couch and she joined him.

"Angel..."

"Buffy..."

They grinned at each other. "You first." Angel told her as he brushed the hair from her face.

His gentle action threw her, she had to take a minute to gather her thoughts, before she spoke. "I love you, that's first and foremost. But I need to know something before we go any farther. Can I trust that you are going to stay this time? Are you in this for the long haul? Next month are you going to decide I'm better off without you? Are you going to keep making decisions for me that I should get to be a part of? I need to know, are you going to bring up the fact that we can't make love, or have a family. Because if there is the slightest chance that you are going to back out, I need to know now. It will hurt like hell, but if you think there is a tiny chance that you will change your mind, I'll walk out that door right now, and I'll never come back. I'm not saying this to hurt you, I'm saying it because it's the only way I can stay sane." She took a needed breath and looked into those deep brown eyes, she placed her hand on his cheek.

Angel listened to her intently as she chewed on her bottom lip nervously while she poured out her heart and soul to him. She sat before him vulnerable, holding her heart out to him, begging him to take responsibility for it's care. He felt her fear of rejection down to his core and he swore to himself that he would never be the cause of that look again. He took her hand from his cheek and tenderly kissed the palm. He looked her in the eyes and spoke.

"Buffy, I am in this for the long haul. I swear no matter what happens, I will stay with you, you are stuck with me." He smiled at her and kissed her hand again, then continued, " From here on out, we make decisions that affect us together. No more dwelling on the obstacles in our relationship. I promise."

"You're sure." She asked softly, her eyes full of hope.

"I'm sure." He pulled her close to him enjoying the feel of her. He buried his head in her hair inhaling the scent of her, he placed a kiss on her head and held her tightly against him.

Buffy pressed herself even closer to him. The wonderful feeling of being in his arms rushed back to her. She smiled against his chest. "Angel?"

"Hmm.."

"What was your news, you said you had news for me?" She pulled away from him reluctantly and looked up into his face waiting for what she hoped would be good news.

"I do have news, good news. A week ago, I helped a Gypsy woman. As part of her payment she took away my curse. We can make love now, I won't lose my soul again." He watched Buffy's face fearful of her reaction.

"No curse?"

"It's gone." He answered her still unsure of her reaction.

"If I hadn't made the decision last night to come, would you have told me?" She asked her voice rising slightly.

"Buffy, you have to understand." He started to explain.

"Understand what, Angel? You made another decision for us without me." She shook her head and stood up.

"Buffy, as far as I knew before you called me last night, you were still with Riley. I was not going to spring this on you while you were trying to have a relationship with someone else. Someone that I know you cared about. I'm sorry, but as I said earlier from this moment forward I will never do that again." He pleaded.

She thought for a moment, "Do you have any other news to tell me?"

"Well, yes, but it can wait." He stood up beside her.

"Wait for what?" She asked mischeviously.

"This, I've been wanting to do this since you walked in the door." He lowered his head then and kissed her. The first real kiss of the day. His lips gently caressed hers and she eagerly returned the kiss. She opened her mouth and allowed his willing tongue entrance. His tongue fought a delicous battle with hers for long moments before Buffy was forced to pull back for air. She giggled slightly and kissed him again hard.

Angel pullled her closer not able to feel enough of her warm body next to his, in one movement he picked her up, never breaking the kiss. He walked slowly to the bedroom. He broke contact and lie her on the bed. Kneeling alongside the bed he took her hand in his. "Buffy, is this what you want? We don't have to rush into this,just because there is no curse. I want you to be ready."

She answered him by sitting up and pulling him up to her face. "I've never been more ready, Angel. Please make love to me." She smiled at him, then demanded "Now."

"My pleasure." He told her as he stood up beside the bed. He pulled the collar of her sweater down exposing her tanned shoulder, he pressed a soft kiss there trailing across her throat and down the valley between her breasts.

Buffy moaned in anticipation. She pulled away for a moment and pulled the sweater over her head. Angel's look of approval made her smile and she became bolder, she reached for the hem of his shirt and helped him out of it.

Angel reached for the zipper on the side of her skirt, he unzipped it quickly and she shimmied out of it leaving her in matching white lace panties and bra. Angel let out a soft moan as he lowered a bra strap from her shoulder. She stopped him and he frowned, the frown quickly dissappeared as Buffy reached for his belt buckle and undid it, she made quick work of the jeans taking his boxers down with them. He then stood before her in all of his glory, his erection standing tall.

She ran one warm hand down the length of him and laughed softly at his gasp of pleasure. She looked up at him and mustered as innocent a look as she could before she lowered her mouth to him, the sensation of her warm tongue on him was enough to almost make him lose it right then. But it was far too early for that. He let her play for a few more agonizing moments, running her tongue up and down the hard shaft, swirling around the sensitive tip, before he gently pushed her away. He lie down beside her and smiled at the frown that now marred her pretty face.

"Hey I was playing!" She gently reprimanded him.

"Hey, I want to play for more then five minutes and if you had continued that it would have been all over." He smiled down at her as he unclasped her bra, her breasts spilling out. He licked his lips at the sight of the rosy nipples that lay just inches from his mouth.

The sight of Angel's gaze on her breasts instantly made her nipples stiffen. He lowered his head and caught the left one in his mouth, making lazy circles around it with his tongue. She moaned and thrust against him, he manipulated the right nipple with his hand, enjoying the friction from her writhing against him. He He intensified the his ministrations, nipping and sucking at the nipple. She expressed her approval by moving his hand lower between them, he could feel her dampness through the lace panties. She lifted her hips slightly pressing herself against his hardness as she wiggled out of the panties.

They lay together with no barriers between them now. Angel's mouth left the sweetness of Buffy's breast to find her mouth once more. His tongue delved into her mouth savoring the taste of her. She arched against him signaling her need for him to be inside of her. He was more then happy to oblige. In a one swift thrust he plunged himself deep inside her warms walls. She gasped when he entered her, he worried for a second that he might have hurt her. But the look of sheer pleasure on her face and the feel of her lips all over his chest proved he had no reason to worry.

He pulled out of her and began a slow rhythm enjoying the look on her face as she met each thrust, intensifying it each time he withdrew and reentered. "I can take it, Angel. Don't hold back." She finally whispered to him. He looked her in the eye, she nodded at him. He thrust harder this time, she met each forceful thrust evenly with him. He was soon lost in the hard, fast ,frenzy of their lovemaking, he knew he would be coming soon and wanted to make sure that Buffy came with him. He slowed down slightly and slipped his hand between the two sweatdrenched bodies, he found the treasure he was searching for and massaged it, between slow thrusts, when he could hold back no longer he gave the hard nub a pinch, that was all it took, Buffy cried out his name as her body shook around him, he came with her, her name on his lips.

They collapsed into a heap of exhausted, but sated limbs. Smiles on both of their faces. Buffy kissed his cheek, "Now what was the other thing, you wanted to tell me, the thing that could wait?"

He turned on to his side facing her propping himself up on his elbow he told her about the wonder of shanshu. When he was finished with his story she crawled closer to him, he lie on his side spooning himself against the back.

"Human?" She asked softly, wonder evident in her voice.

"Yep, but we don't know when, Buffy. It might be a very long ways down the road." He kissed the back of her head.

"It doesn't matter how long it will take Angel, or even if I'm around to see it. What matters is now." She told him and then she yawned sleepily.

"Get some rest, Buffy." He told her as he kissed her and pulled the covers up over them.

Soon they were both sleeping peacefully. And there were dreams, good, happy dreams, Angel dreamt of Buffy, her body round with his child, and he dreamt of children around a holiday table, and family and friends laughing and sometimes there were tears in the dream but Buffy was always there beside him. The dream ended with an older version of he and Buffy sitting on a porch swing holding hands, still as much in love as they were now.

Buffy dreamt of a wedding and of a hospital room where she and Angel were counting fingers and toes on a beautiful baby boy. And she dreamt of the same holiday table, with children and friends and family around it. And even though she knew there were sad times, she and Angel worked through them side by side. And her dream ended the same way she and Angel older now , holding hands and still in love.

Buffy woke up with a start, the dream was so vivid she didn't want it to end. Angel was staring at her smiling, "Did you dream?"

"Yes, I did." She answered him shaking her head in amazement as they talked about the dream they had shared.

"Do you think it's a sign, I mean we dreamed the same dream, Angel." She asked him as she snuggled up against his chest.

"I hope so,Buffy. I really do. I love you." He hugged her tightly against him.

"I love you, too." And as she said the words she knew she would never have to worry about Angel leaving her again. She was his girl and she would always be able to trust him with her heart.

"Can I cast my cares upon you? Can you stand a heavy load? Can I count on you to walk me down that long and winding road?

What I really need to know is Can I trust you with my heart.

 

The End

 

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