"It Would Have Been Wonderful"

Author: A. Price
Email: andramichelle@yahoo.com

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The cemetary was quiet as Buffy made her way through the maze of tombstones. Quiet - after the last few weeks she really needed some of that.

"So you feeling better then?" A soft accented voice came from behind her.

She should have known the quiet wouldn't last long, "Spike." She replied with a frown.

"Just checking to make sure you're okay. Living in just one world now, this one." He smirked as he walked next to her.

"I'm fine. Just dandy. In fact I can even patrol on my own. I'm sure you have other things to do." She glared at him but her heart wasn't in it. She had to admit if only to herself that she had missed the peroxide blond at her side.

"OKay, I'll go then." Spike stopped midstride and turned around, "You are okay, though?" He asked over his shoulder genuine concern in his voice.

She gave him a half smile and nodded, "Yes, I'm good."

"Alrighty, I'll be on my way then. See you round, Slayer." He began walking towards his crypt.

Buffy sighed as she watched him go for a moment then continued patrol. A vampire suddenly lunged from behind her she spun around to kick him and felt a moment of dizziness she righted herself and prepared to attack throwing a hard punch, the vamp fell backwards she reached for her stake and the vamp stood suddenly kicking her hard in the stomach she fell to the ground dropping her stake.

Spike heard the scuffle and ran quickly to find Buffy on the ground and a vampire preparing to attack, he found the stake and dispatched of the vamp with expertise. Buffy still lie on the ground, he offered her his hand, "Slayer are you alright?"

She took his hand and stood unsteadily doubling over in pain, "No, Spike, something is really wrong." She muttered as she felt the warm sticky fluid run down her legs. She promptly passed out, Spike scooping her up in his arms before she could hit the ground. His stomach knotted at the sight of the blood staining her pants.

"Hospital!" He shouted to the empty cemetary before he began to run.

"Insurance?" The nurse behind the ER desk asked Spike as he nervously ran his hand through his hair.

"I don't bloody know any of that. Look could you just tell me how she is?" He asked irritation in his voice.

"Are you a family member?" The nurse asked peering over her glasses.

"Yes, well no. I'm her fiance'"

"Oh, well then I'm sure the doctor will talk to you. I'll go check on her." She walked towards the exam rooms and returned in a few minutes, "Follow me."

Spike followed the nurse to a small exam room. Buffy was lying very still, her eyes closed and iv in her arm. "How is she?" Spike asked the doctor standing beside her bed.

"Are you the fiance?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, I am. Please how is she?" Spike asked again.

"She'll be fine. Unfortunately she lost the baby. I'm sorry." The doctor patted Spike's shoulder.

"Lost the baby?" Spike asked not able to hide his shock.

"Yes, Ms. Summers was about 6 weeks pregnant, the kick to her stomach from the mugger was just to traumatic, she began to hemmorhage and she miscarried. I take it you didn't know about the baby? I'm not sure she did either, I tried to explain but she was out of it. Maybe you would like to talk to her when she comes to." The doctor gave a compassionate smile as he left the room, "Oh, we are moving her to a room later, she'll need to be watched overnight."

Spike sat by the bed watching Buffy sleep for a few moments, still in shock over what the doctor had told him. A baby? But who? Buffy had only been with him, he was sure of it. Six weeks, soldier boy maybe? No he had been here just a few weeks ago. He picked up the phone and called Willow so she could get Dawn here and let the others know that Buffy was here. It wasn't his place to tell the rest of the story.

Buffy's eyes fluttered open and focused on the man sitting beside her bed, "Spike, what happened?" She asked as she tried to sit up.

"Lay back down and I'll try to explain." He put his hand on her shoulder and lowered her back into the bed.

"You got kicked very hard in the tummy, you were bleeding and I brought you here. You... you miscarried Buffy." Spike spoke softly looking directly into her eyes.

"It wasn't a dream? The doctor told me but I didnt' believe him? How, how could I have been pregnant?" Her eyes were wide and tears were rapidly falling, "How?"

"Calm down, Buffy. It's gonna be okay. I was hoping you would have an answer to that last part. I kind of thought there had only been me since you... came back." He lowered his eyes now was not the time for jealous anger on his part.

"Spike, there has been only you. The baby... the baby had to be yours. I don't know how... but I swear you are the only one I've been with." Her bottom lip quivered slightly and she looked more vulnerable then he had ever seen her. And he knew in his heart that no matter how impossible it seemed that she was telling him the truth.

"I don't know, Buffy." He sighed and took her hand, "I just don't know."

"You believe me though?" She asked through fresh tears.

"Yes, luv. I believe you. And no one else has to know, it'll be out secret." He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. Our sad little secret.

The orderlies came and moved Buffy to a room on the floor. Dawn and Willow showed up first. "You're really okay?" Dawn asked as she hugged her sister close to her.

"I will be." Buffy gave her a small smile.

"I'm gonna leave you alone for a bit. The doctor is insistng I file a report about the "mugging". I've already decided to stay tonight with her. So you can go home and not worry Lil bit." Spike told them as he left the room.

Buffy explained that she had been kicked and bled a bit so the doctor wanted to keep her overnight. She assured Dawn and Willow it was okay for them to go home, she was gonna humor Spike and let him stay with her.

Xander and Tara showed up within moments of each other. Xander's offer to stay with her was overheard by Spike as he returned to the room, "It's okay. I'm staying."

"Are you sure you want that, Buffy?" Xander asked with a look of disgust.

"Xander if Buffy is okay with it, then you should be." Tara told him smiling at Buffy.

"It's okay, Xan. You have to work in the morning and Spike is jobless." Buffy tried to laugh but she winced slightly in pain at the movement,.

"I think I just need to rest. Thanks for coming and I'll see you tomorrow." She waved as her sister and friends left the room.

"There you go, Buffy. I'll just sit right over here, nice heavy curtains in here. You get some rest." Spike told her as he leaned back in the chair. He watched as Buffy's eyes grew heavy and her breathing more even. He gently touched her cheek. He finally had a moment to let it sink in, Buffy had been carrying his child. He didn't know how it had happened, but he did know that it was probably the only chance he would ever have to be a father. He wished now that he had made the vamp that attacked her suffer before he staked him. He finally settled into sleep.

At three am he awoke to gentle sobbing, Buffy was crying softly. "Buffy, you in pain? Do I need to get the nurse?" He asked turning on the bedside lamp.

"No, well I'm cramping but she came in a while ago and gave me something." Buffy explained through tears.

"Then what's wrong?" he asked standing up next to the bed.

"I was just thinking... a baby. I was carrying a life inside of me and now it's gone. And I'm wondering if that was my chance at having a baby. Was that it and now it's gone?" She sniffled.

"Oh, Buffy. Doctor said you could have another baby? You'll be fine." Spike sighed. Me on the other hand...

"I know what he said. But this was a kind of miracle... and I'm not sure what I feel." She wiped at her eyes and looked at him with a small smile. "It just hit me all of a sudden , I mean I know I didn't even know about the baby but its still sad and it still hurts."

Spike sat on the edge of the bed beside her, "I know it does, luv."

She turned to him, "I just wonder, boy or girl? What would he or she have looked like?"

"Girl for sure." Spike grinned, "A boy that came from us would be in trouble all the time, his parents both like a good brawl."

Buffy offered him a half smile, " A girl. A little girl, what do you think she would have looked like?"

"Beautiful just like her mom." He smiled at her as he pushed the hair back off of her face.

"Thanks, Spike." She whispered as she leaned her head against his chest.

"For what?" He asked in a soft voice.

"For being here, for helping me through this." She pulled back from him, "I guess realistically if I had been able to have the baby well...I'm not sure what kind of parents we would have been." She sighed as she lay back down in the bed.

"We would have worked it out, it would have been... wonderful." He whispered as he lay a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Get some sleep."

She closed her eyes as he sat down in the chair beside her again. And then she did something he never expected, she reached her hand out to him and he took it in his their fingers entwined. She murmered "It would have been wonderful." And fell into a content sleep.

Somewhere up above a chubby cheeked baby with honey brown hair and big hazel green eyes smiled.