"Too Long, Too Far From Home"

Author: A. Price
Email: andramichelle@yahoo.com

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As she rode the bus out of Sunnydale, Buffy did not look back, not even once. She knew what she was leaving behind, she didn't need to look back. She did have one regret, her Mom, she was going to think that her leaving was her fault. It wasn't. They had said some harsh words to each other last night. She knew her Mom didn't mean them. Thats why she had left the note, but she knew a note wouldn't be much comfort.

She had to leave Sunnydale, she had to leave everything there, get rid of her memories of him. As if that would happen. She knew that Giles would have tried to talk her out of leaving, bringing up her sacred duty as the chosen one, the slayer. Well, she had slayed her last vampire. What did they expect of her? She had lost friends, she had lost the love of her short life. She had sent the man she loved to live with a demon in hell.

Buffy had never neglected her duties as the slayer, even if it had meant the ultimate sacrifice - Angel. She had saved the world for the last time. She was going to search for peace, if it was out there.

The bus pulled into New York about nine am. Buffy had lost track of how many days she had been on it. She got off the bus and started walking, she didn't know why she had been drawn here. Maybe peace was here.

From around the corner Whistler watched Buffy walking. He said to himself "She's not ready to see me yet. I'll give her some time."

Someone else watched Buffy walking down the street. Anna was in her mid thirties, petite, pretty in a quiet way. She ran a soup kitchen for the homeless. She watched Buffy and thought she had never seen someone look so sad in her life. And in her line of work that was saying something.

Anna went down the street after Buffy, "Hello" she called softly. Buffy turned around to face Anna. Buffys hair hung limply and she looked more like a five year old in her baggy overalls then her seventeen years. Her eyes showed every bit of sadness that she had seen over the last few months. "Hello" repeated Anna. Buffy thought a moment and cautiously returned the greeting "Hello" she offered in a small sad voice.

"My name is Anna, and I run the soup kitchen down the block" said Anna as she pointed the way. She continued "You look like you could use a good meal."

Buffy was surprised as herself, she was hungry. She didn't remember the last time she had actually eaten, it didn't seem important, nothing did. In the same sad voice she answered "That would be nice, thank you." She followed Anna back to the kitchen.

Anna fixed Buffy a big plate of food. Buffy ate slowly. Anna thought a moment then said "Whatever is wrong, I'm sure it can be fixed."

Buffy shook her head no. "This can't be fixed."

"Well if you really feel that way, the least I can do is offer you a job. Not a paying job, but you can have room and board, if you will help me out in the soup kitchen" offered Anna hopefully. "My grandfather left me this building, this bottom floor is the soup kitchen, the second floor has a tiny apartment that you can stay in. My husband Duncan and I live on the third floor. You'll like Duncan. What do you say?"

Buffy was deep in though for a little while, then finally spoke "I accept your offer."

Anna nodded her head happily "Lets go see the apartment."

Buffy followed her upstairs, Anna was right, the apartment was small, but neatly kept. It reminded her of Angels apartment. "Stop, Buffy. Don't think about it" she said quietly to herself.

"I'll leave you to get settled now." Anna said as she left.

Below on the street, Whistler looked up at the apartment window. He said to himself "She's going to be okay, with a little time."

Buffy went downstairs to help with the soup kitchen, as she had done for the last three days. She was serving breakfast to an elderly man, when she heard a familiar voice. "Hello. Prom Queen!" It was Whistler. Buffy turned away, she said bitterly "I don't want to see you or talk to you or be anywhere near you."

"I know that" said Whistler "But you've got to tell me exactly what happened. I need details."

"Okay, Okay, will you leave me alone, if I talk to you? I will meet you outside at ten am when the breakfast dishes are done" Buffy said with a sigh.

Anna noticed that Buffy looked a little upset as she dried the last of the dishes. But she didn't want to pry. Buffy turned to her and said "I'm going for a walk, I'll be back soon." As she left Anna prayed she would be careful. She went upstairs to check on Duncan.

Buffy and Whistler walked to the park. "Here are all your sordid details Whistler." Buffy spit the words as him.

"What exactly happened? Come on Buffy, he was a demon, by now it couldn't have been hard to kill him" questioned Whistler.

"It should have been easy, but as the vortex was opening. Angel regained his soul, he told me he loved me, and I," Buffy sobbed and then continued "I ran a sword through him, enough details for you? Or would you like to make me relive again and again, like I do every night?" Tears were rolling down her cheeks now and people were staring.

"His soul was restored before he entered the vortex?" Whistler asked quietly.

"Yes" she replied quietly.

"You're sure?" Whistler looked puzzled.

"I am sure Whistler, I was there."she answered him sadly.

Whistler seemed to be in a hurry now. "Okay, thanks for the details, take care of yourself kid." And with that he left, saying to himself "I've got work to do."

Buffy headed back to Annas it would be almost time for the lunch crowd. She wanted to help, Anna had been good to her and not asked a lot of questions.

When lunch was over, Buffy and Anna went to their perspective apartments. Buffy lay down for a short nap, her dreams were filled with Angel. His last words to her, the sound of the sword as she plunged it into his body. She woke up in tears.

Upstairs, Anna went to check on Duncan, he was sleeping in their room. She never go tired of looking at him while he slept. His golden hair fell across his forehead, she loved him as she loved no other. They had been together since she was seventeen almost twenty years now.

It was time for dinner at the soup kitchen. They served a large crowd that night. It was getting dark when the last dish was put away. Anna told Buffy "Go on upstairs, you look tired."

Buffy went upstairs and tried to relax, she took a hot bath, she even tried to read something. But nothing worked, so she decided to go back downstairs to offer her help anyway. As Buffy went downstairs she heard sounds in the kitchen, her worst fears were realized, she would never escape them, there was a vampire coming up behind Anna in the kitchen. Buffy found a broken stool, pulled off the leg to make a stake and charged into the kitchen on the attack.

She had knocked the vampire over and was about to stake him. Anna was screaming, "No, Don't, Stop Buffy, don't hurt him!"

Buffy stopped in her tracks "What, do you know what he is?" she shouted.

"Yes, Buffy. I know what he is and who he is, Buffy meet my husband, Duncan" said Anna as she bent down to help Duncan up.

"Buffy, I know this will be hard for you to understand, but he is a vampire and not all vampires are bad."Anna started to explain but Duncan interrupted her "Anna, I don't think you have to explain vampires to her. If I'm not mistaken, she knows them well."looking at Buffy he said "You are the slayer, aren't you?"

"Yes" said Buffy "I am or I was the slayer."

"There is no was, unless your a dead slayer" Duncan said "A slayer is always a slayer. You don't get to choose, just like I didn't get to choose what I am."

Anna was confused, Duncan had never told her of slayers. They had actually lived peacefully. She knew what Duncan was and had accepted that long ago when she was Buffys age. Duncan had saved her from a mugger one night scaring him off with his vamp face. She had been frightened at first, but quickly realized he meant her no harm, when his face returned to normal form, he started to run away, knowing she was safe from the mugger.

But she had chased him down and asked him to walk her home. He did and she fell in love with a 100 year old vampire that night and he fell in love with a 17 year old girl. They had been together ever since. He wrote, so he always worked at home and strange hours were expected of him. They did miss children sometimes though. And she knew that sometime in the future, people would wonder why she looked so much older then her husband. But she didn't want to think about it now.

"What is a slayer?" asked Anna.

"She is the chosen one to kill the vampires, demons, etc." said Duncan "And Buffy is a good one, it looks like."

Buffy was still amazed that Duncan was a vampire. She also felt for Anna, someone had something in common with her. She told Anna and Duncan in a calm voice everything that had happened with Angel.

Duncan smiled "Angelus was older then me, but we had something in common. 17 year old girls." He then got serious again "Buffy are you sure his soul was restored before he entered the vortex?"

Buffy replied "Yes, I am sure. Trust me it haunts me every night." She silently wondered about his question. Whistler had asked the same thing.

In the dark basement of a warehouse, Whistler was talking to someone, someone special. "You've got to get your strength back and I'll answer all your questions."

The sad figure replied "I know she loved me, why?"

Whistler replied "All in good time, Angel my boy, I'll explain it in good time. Right now you need to rest." With that he left to go check on the prom queen.

Whistler could see Buffy from the window. She looked okay, she would be more okay when he could tell her the good news. These two had a rough go in front of them no matter what. He though he should talk them out of this love thing. But the strange thing was he felt good about this love thing. He knew it wasn't going away, no matter what he said.

Meanwhile back in Sunnydale-

Xander was moping in the library. Buffy had been gone over a week and all they had was the note she left for her Mom. Which just explained that she had to go and she would be okay.

Xander was feeling some remorse over not telling Buffy that Willow was restoring Angels soul. He didn't know what had happened, but somehow felt responsible.

Giles interrupted his brooding. "Xander, have you heard?"

Xander cut him off before he could finish his question. "No, I haven't heard anything."

Willow entered the library with Cordelia at her side. They were also discussing Buffy.

"Well, she'll come back. She has to, shes the slayer!" said Willow full of an optimism that no one else in the room felt.

Giles had not been himself since she left. With Jenny gone and now Buffy, he was lost. He was a watcher without a slayer. They were all worried about him. "If I only knew where to look for her" he thought to himself. Giles thought "Where would she go - Angel he's the key - maybe she's gone somewhere Angel has been. I'll do some research about where he was before he came to Sunnydale."

Giles assured everyone that he was okay. He just wanted to do some research, he pulled out the books to start research. He didn't realize how many hours passed, he had found what he was looking for. Angel had been in Manhattan at one time. Giles thought "Would Buffy go there?" It was worth a try.

Xander walked in at that moment, "Can I talk to you Giles?" he asked "Its about Buffy."

Giles looked at him impatiently. "I'm very busy Xander. I'm leaving on a trip.

"Are you going to find Buffy?" asked Xander excitedly.

"Maybe" said Giles as he explained about New York.

"I'm going. I owe it to Buffy, I've got money, I'm going" Xander was adamant.

Giles and Xander headed off together. Giles knew better then to argue with the boy. They departed the plane in New York and and took a taxi to the hotel.

"Where do we start?" asked Xander. Giles didn't have the heart to tell him that he had no idea. So, he just said "We'll get some sleep and start tomorrow."

The next morning Xander and Giles started walking the streets with Buffys picture in hand. They asked everyone they met if they had seen her. They ran into Anna outside a grocery store and she assured them that she had never seen the girl in the picture. She hurried home to warn Buffy.

Buffy was wiping down table when Anna came in. Anna explained to her about the man and the boy looking for her. Buffy immediately knew it was Giles and Xander. She was not ready to see them yet.

Xander and Giles spent an exhausting day looking for Buffy, with no luck. They went back to the hotel to call it a day.

Whistler checked on Angel, he was getting stronger every day. Whistler decided it was time to tell him everything. Angel sat and listened to the whole story without saying a word. Then finally he spoke slowly "I killed Jenny Calender?"

Yes, nodded Whistler.

"Buffy will never forgive me" Angel said sadly, "I can't forgive myself."

Whistler spoke sincerely to Angel "Angel, buddy, you are wrong there, she told you she loved you and she meant it. She had no choice but to send you into that vortex, and believe me, for awhile she was looking worse then you did when I found you, stink guy!"

Angel looked at Whistler with hope in his dark eyes.

Whistler continued "You do have one problem, you can't go back to Sunnydale yet, you have some penance to do, you will have to let her go for now.

Angel wasn't sure if he could face Buffy. But he knew Whistler was right, he had to try. Whistler said "Follow me" and then they left for the soup kitchen.

Whistler knocked on the door of Buffys apartment. Buffy answered the door she started shouting "Not you again! I want absolutely nothing to do with you, nothing!"

"Wait,Girlie" said Whistler putting his foot in the door. He continued "I've got something I want to show you and then you can decide."

"Decide what" she asked annoyedly.

"Decide if you want to remain a pathetic wreck, or be the slayer that you are supposed to be. This speec is deja vu. I had this same talk with your guy Angel once." replied Whistler.

"Don't even mention his name please, show me this thing, then leave quickly, before I decide to some slaying of the demon kind." She said sarcastically.

"Follow me to the alley, please" and Whistler led her to the back of the building.

When she got there, she saw a familiar back facing her. It couldn"t be, he was gone, her heart was beating so hard, she could hear it. Angel must have heard it too, he turned around, their eyes met and they stared at each other in disbelief.

Whistler stepped forward, all he said was "Work it out" and then he left them alone.

"Angel, is it really you?" Buffy asked in total disbelief.

"Yes, its me" he replied gently, "I love you Buffy, and if I could change anything that happened I would, but I can't" he finished sadly.

"I don't care Angel, I love you. I thought I had lost you forever. Can you ever forgive me?"

"You don't need my forgiveness, and you never will. But you are the slayer and you have to go back to Sunnydale. They need you."

"We'll go back together!" Buffy said excitedly.

Angel spoke sadly, but with determination. "I can't go back, not now. I have to atone for some of the things I've done. But you have to go back, Buffy."

Buffy was crying softly as Angel led her back to the apartment. They sat down on the couch, looking into each others eyes. Buffy put her hand on Angels cheek and they kissed for the first time since the vortex ordeal. It was a long, slow kiss, full of passion. She leaned against him and spoke "I'll go back Angel, but I have to know that I will see you again."

"You will see me again, I love you Buffy Summers" he repled tenderly.

"I love you Angel" she said softly and fell asleep in his arms.

Whistler knocked on Giles hotel room door. Giles answered asking "Do I know you?"

Whistler replied "Your girl is at the soup kitchen on 5th Street she is gonna need you in the morning."

An hour before sunrise, Whistler knocked on Buffys door again. He quickly asked "Did you decide?"

Buffy nodded her head "Yes, I am the slayer, I am going home. I am going alone."

Whistler looked at Angel "We've got to say our goodbyes now, I'll be waiting outside" and he left.

Angel looked at Buffy long and hard as if he were memorizing everything about her. The smell of her hair, her eyes, her lips that smile.

"Its time Buffy, I love you and I always will. We will see each other again. Take care and be happy." with that said he bent down and kissed her gently on the lips. She touched his cheek and tears in her eyes softly said "I love you, goodbye." And then he was gone.

Buffy sat down back on the couch. There was another knock at the door. This time it was Anna, "Buffy your friends are here, should I let them come up?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, let them in" said Buffy.

Giles and Xander ran into the apartment overjoyed at the sight of Buffy. Giles started speaking "We have missed you, please don't worry me like that again. I want a full explanation later, but now I just want to know that your are okay?" he asked somewhat emotionally for Giles.

"I'm fine" she answered "I'm really okay, I'm ready to go home, to be the slayer again."

Xander had been exceptionally quiet, he went to Buffy now, he lifted her off the ground in a giant hug. "I don't care what happened, just please don't scare me like that again!" he hugged her again.

Buffy went to her room and gathered her few belongings into her backpack. She found a small object in the bottom of the pack. She pulled out the small silver claddagh ring, she looked at it lovingly, kissed it and placed it on her finger, where it belonged, the heart facing towards her.

Buffy went to Anna and explained everything and thanked her for all of her help and kindness. Anna with tears in her wished Buffy the best of luck. Buffy asked her to tell Duncan goodbye and she left with Giles and Xander.

Buffy was headed back home, back to her destiny, back to the world of the slayer.

 

The End