"I'm Your Girl"

Author: A. Price
Email: andramichelle@yahoo.com


SUNNYDALE Buffy POV

Dracula is gone, no more bats or mysterious mists, and no more thrall. Riley wanted to celebrate, so here we are at the movies and all I want to do is get up and run. From the minute we walked into the theater, I've had this feeling. Something is wrong. I look at Riley and he's laughing at something in the movie. I couldn't even tell you what movie was playing. The minute I walked into this place I immediately thought back to the one and only time Angel and I ever came here.

Angel had been so sweet that night, he'd wanted to take me somewhere nice for a change. He'd bought the tickets and the popcorn and we were going to be a normal couple for one night. But the movie wasn't what we had planned on and while the other couples around us began making out, we sat in a awkward silence and watched the movie. He'd been apologetic afterwards, then the whole Faith debacle happened.

And I am here with Riley trying to watch what's happening on the screen , it seems to be about cheerleaders and one of them looks like Faith. Faith, she's haunting my dates now, maybe that is her on the screen, maybe Angel pulled some strings and got her out of jail, set her up with an acting gig, we both know she's a great actress. Maybe he could even get Cordy an acting job. He's big on helping the helpless, he just doesn't like to stick around for those he deems are able to take care of themsleves... like me. Stop this train of thought right now, Buffy. Watch the damn movie and quit thinking so much.

Riley is putting his arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder. He feels good, he feels warm and strong. All of those things I need, no - all of those things I want. Yes, that's it, I want all of that. He's a good man. He's faithful and loyal. Like a dog...I giggle slightly at the thought and Riley turns to smile at me. I smile back, bad Buffy, where did that come from? Riley loves me and he won't leave.

And why is this theater so small? I don't remember it being so small before. I feel like I'm suffocating. I want to move Riley's arm off of me, I want to leave now. I want to go home and go to bed... alone. Alone, that's it I want to be alone. I don't know why, but if this movie doesn't end soon, I am going to scream.

The credits roll, finally! We can leave now. We stand and leave the theater, Riley takes my hand. I have to force myself to leave it in his. I don't want him to touch me and I don't know why. He senses something is wrong. "Are you okay?" He asks with genuine concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, just tired." I lie through my teeth.

"Well, we can go back to my place, and I'll fix you something warm to drink and then I'll see if I can help you relax." He grins and winks at me as he squeezes my hand in his.

"Okay." I tell him but I regret the word as soon as I say it. My mind is screaming I don't want to go home with* you*, I don't want to drink * your* cocoa and I definitely don't want *you* to help me relax. But I don't say any of those things. I force myself to calm down, what the hell is wrong with me? Riley loves me, I... I...well, I love him. Well, I do, don't I?

He makes small talk on the way back to his room. He unlocks the door and I follow him in. He goes to make cocoa and I decide I can't stay her another minute. I stand and go to him, I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I can not stay here, not tonight. "Riley." I say softly.

"Hmm?" He turns from the stove. When he sees my face, turns off the stove and steps towards me. With a gentle hand he caresses one cheek, "Buffy, what's wrong?" He asks softly all the while his thumb is rubbing small circles on my cheek.

"I need to go, Riley. I can't stay here tonight." I tell him and I want to cry at the hurt that is clearly showing on his face. But there is something wrong and I can't put my finger on it.

"Buffy, please stay, tell me what it wrong? Is it the whole Dracula thing? Has that wigged you out?" His soft voice is pleading with me.

"That's part of it and the rest. I don't know, Riley, I just need to be alone. Can you understand?" I ask. I know it's not fair to him, but I don't know what else to do.

"Okay. I'll leave you alone tonight. I love you, Buffy. I want to help." He tells me as he pulls me close and embraces me.

Embraced me, "You remember the embrace." Dracula had said that to me, he was referring to Angel's mark on my neck. I was trying to listen to what Riley was saying but the words were swirling around in my head and then Riley asked the one question I didn't.

"Buffy, are you still my girl?" Riley asked clearly.

"What?" I ask him confused.

"Earlier tonight you said you were my girl. Are you still?" He asked fear in his voice.

Are you still my girl? Are you still my girl? Are you still my girl? I kept hearing those words in my head from Riley and then a voice from the past, Angel's voice loud and clear in my head asking, no, demanding "ARE YOU STILL MY GIRL?" And in my head I am screaming the answer - "ALWAYS!"

I look at Riley, he's waiting for an answer. Tears slide down my face as I answer the only way I can. In a small voice, I say the word that hurts him and I can't help myself, I've been lying to myself too long now. "No."

His face crumbles at my admission. "What?"

"I'm sorry, Riley. You are wonderful guy and I care for you. But I've just figured it out, I can't be your girl. I told someone else once that I would always be his girl. And I need to do somethng about that. I am sorry, Riley. Please forgive me." He's just standing there looking like his world just crumbled and I know it's my fault and I know that I should have never let it go this far. I stand on tiptoes and kiss his warm cheek, " I am sorry, Riley." I whisper and then I leave before he can stop me.


I cried all the way home. I kept thinking Riley might try to follow me, but he doesn't. I can't blame him, I stomped all over his heart, and if anyone knows how that feels it's me. But I'm not going to let that happen again. I need to talk to Angel, I need to make him see.

I picked up the phone by bed and dialed the number I'm not supposed to have memorized. It rings three times before an unfamiliar voice answers, " Hello."

It's not Cordy or Wesley, maybe I did dial the wrong number. "Hello, is this Angel Investigations?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yes, it is this is Gunn speaking. Can I help you?" He asks pleasantly.

Gunn, who is Gunn? Never mind. Has something happened to Cordy, or Wesley or, or , no don't even think about it. Angel is fine. I must have been quiet too long because Gunn is back on the phone, "Miss, are you still there?" He asks.

I sigh heavily and speak, "Yes, I'm still here. Is, um, is Angel there?"

"No, he isn't at the moment. Are you in trouble, do you need help?" He asks concerned.

"No, I'm fine. I just need to speak to Angel." I answer shakily.

"Would you like to leave a message?"

A message, yeah, that's good, but what to say. I think a minute and then I speak into the reciever again "Tell him, tell him his girl called for him." I smile as I say the words.

"His girl?"

"Yes, he'll know. Thank you." I tell him and then I hang up. And I say a silent prayer that he *will* know. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes waiting...


ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS Angel POV

It was a normal night, or so I thought. I had wrestled with some of the ugliest demons ever to walk the earth and one of them had the audacity to put a tear in my duster as I finished him off. I'll have to ask Cordelia about having it repaired. She's pretty good about knowing the right seamstress or the right cleaning place to get rid of demon caused damage to clothes.

I picked up the mail off of Cordy's desk and went into my office. I wasn't there long when Gunn came in, cup of coffee in hand and a big smile on his face. "Hey." I said as he sat down in the chair across from me, still smiling. That's kind of unusual for Gunn. He's like me that way, man of few smiles. So I had to ask, "What's going on?"

He grinned like he had a secret, "You tell me? I took a phone call for you earlier."

"Yeah?"

"It was a girl." He said looking around the room, it looked like I was going to have to drag this out of him.

"Was she in trouble?" I asked beginning to lose patience.

"No, she did leave a message though." He paused to take a sip of coffee then continued, "She said to tell you that your girl called. Who is *your* girl?" He grinned again.

"She said *my* girl? What else did she say?" I stood up and tried not to sound too anxious.

"Calm down she just asked for you, left that message and oh yeah, she said you would know. So, do you know?" He asked.

I barely heard him, my mind was racing. My girl, my girl. Buffy called me. It had to be Buffy, didn't it have to be Buffy? Who else could it have been? Buffy, Buffy called and she said she was my girl. Okay, something wasn't right here, I just saw her a few months ago, she was with that farm boy soldier, Riley Finn. I told her I didn't like him, but if he makes her happy, then I'm trying to be happy for her. But wait, she must not be with Riley, if she's calling here. What did he do to her? If he hurt her, I'll...

"Angel, Angel, man are you okay?" Gunn was moving his hand in front of my face.

I snapped out of my thoughts and spoke, "I'm okay. And I do know. Thanks for the message. I'll be downstairs if you need me."

He looked confused as he watched me go down the steps to my new apartment.

I sat on my bed for fifteen minutes before I picked up the phone and dialed the number that I was supposed to have forgotten. It rang twice and then the sweetest voice on earth answered, "Hello."


SUNNYDALE Buffy POV

The phone rang and I jumped, on the second ring I picked it up, "Hello."

"Hello, Buffy." It was Angel. My heart skipped a beat and I found it hard to breathe.

"Hello, Angel." I said catching my breath.

"Umm... I had a message. Did you, did you call?" .

I could hear the nervousness in his voice, "Yes, I called."

"The message you left, uh, did you mean that?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes, I meant it." I paused for a second to gather my courage, "I told you once that I was your girl always, and I meant it then and I mean it now. I understand why you left, I really do, Angel. But.. ."

"Buffy" He said solemnly.

"No, don't interrupt me. Please let me finish." I told him choking on the tears. "I tried it your way Angel, I tried to find a nice normal guy who could take me on picnics and give me children. But it didn't work, Angel. I fooled myself into thinking I loved Riley, and all I ended up doing was hurting a wonderful man. It wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to me. I know whose girl I am. Do you?" I took a deep breath and waited for his answer.

A long silence passed before Angel spoke, " Yes,Buffy, I know whose girl you are."

I gasped, I couldn'b believe he wasn't trying to talk me out of this.

He continued," I'm still not sure how we will make this work. But I do know that I can't keep fighting it. I love you and I need you. And I hate the thought of you with anyone else. I also have some news to share with you. But not on the phone. Can you come to LA?"

"I'll be there tomorrow. Angel, I love you." I whisper into the phone still in awe that he didn't argue with me. "What kind of news?" I ask.

He laughed softly, I like that sound, "Tomorrow, Buffy. We can talk tomorrow. Right now, I think *my* girl needs some rest."

"I like the sound of that" I laugh softly, this is how it's supposed to be. "I love you." I add before he hangs up.

"I love you, too. Always."

I hang up the phone and I'm smiling. I feel good, I know it's wrong when Riley is miserable, but I know in my heart I did the right thing. After all you can only be *one* man's girl and I know in my heart whose girl I am.

 

The End

 

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