"Small Sacrifices"

Author: Samantha
Email: sammer77@aol.com
Notes: Italics denote flashbacks and/or memories.

"No!" Buffy gasped. She sat up, opening her eyes. Her breath burned in her chest. The tears stung her face.

Riley was up in an instant, his arms around her.

"The dream again?" he asked gently, rubbing her back softly.

"Yeah," she whispered, nodding into his chest.

She had been having a recurring dream. At first, she only had it once in a while. But lately she had been having it every night. It disturbed her and she was becoming more and more frightened to go to sleep at night.

Buffy began to calm down, her breathing becoming more regular. The cold sweat was beginning to dissipate.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Riley whispered into her hair.

She shook her head wearily. "It’s just the same thing again. They took her away…" Buffy wrapped her arms around her belly protectively. She was due in less than a month. Her unborn child moved under her arms.

Riley shifted his weight and positioned himself against the headboard, allowing Buffy to lean against him. He covered her arms with his own, lacing his fingers through hers. He kissed her hair.

"It’s just a dream, sweetheart," he whispered. "No one’s going to take her."

But Riley couldn’t help but feel a bit apprehensive himself. He remembered the first night Buffy had the dream. She had just found out she was pregnant that very morning. But their elation was short-lived.

"What’s the matter?" Riley asked, half-asleep.

Buffy couldn’t speak. She just sat there shaking, trying to form words.

Riley became really worried. He reached for her, trying to calm her.

She finally found enough air to speak.

"The baby," she managed.

Riley felt his stomach tighten.

"What’s wrong?" he asked, panicked.

"They took her," she whispered.

Riley felt himself start to breathe again. It had been a dream.

"So you’re okay? Everything’s okay?" he asked urgently.

Buffy looked at him, confusion wrinkling her brow. Then she realized what he was asking her.

"Yeah," she said, regaining her composure. "We’re okay."

Relief washed over him. "God, don’t scare me like that," he said, letting out his breath.

"I’m sorry," she said, curling up beside him. "I just had this very strange dream. It was disturbing."

"Apparently." Riley put his arm around her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She closed her eyes, the image still clear in her mind. She spoke softly.

"I’m in the delivery room, all alone. I’m in labor. I start to push. Then, the next thing I see is two arms reaching out and taking the baby away. And a voice saying, ‘We’ve been waiting for her.’ That’s when I woke up." The scene still frightened her and she shivered, moving closer to Riley.

Riley kissed her forehead. "It was just a nightmare. You’re safe. You’re both safe now."

But as Riley sat here now, holding his pregnant wife in his arms, he couldn’t help but feel slightly panicked, like things were out of his control.

Looking back, one aspect of the dream had already come true. Their baby was a girl. The sonogram had confirmed it. They hadn’t yet picked a name. Buffy had said that it wasn’t fair to give a person a name without meeting them first. She always believed that she would know exactly what to name her the moment she saw her daughter’s face. Riley had argued, but Buffy’s reasoning was so logical that he relented.

Riley also knew that most of Buffy’s dreams came true, in the literal sense. Take, for instance, the time he had been kidnapped by Forrest. Buffy had told him later that she had a dream he was alive. And he was. Or the time she had dreamed about demons stealing all the voices of Sunnydale. And they had. Too many times Buffy’s dreams had become reality and Riley was having a hard time convincing himself that this time it would be different.

But he kept trying to fool himself. He had to. This was his family, his life. He wasn’t about to let anything happen to it. This time, he assured himself again, it will be different.

He looked down at Buffy. She had managed to go back to sleep. She seemed to be resting peacefully.

Riley’s eyes were wide open.

So were Angel’s. He sat in the darkness, leaning against the headboard, staring blankly forward. He had awakened suddenly and sat up. He had never slept soundly. He didn’t need to. He listened intently to the sounds around him. Nothing unusual. He couldn’t figure out what had startled him.

Riley kissed Buffy goodbye. He was reluctant to leave her.

"Go," she said, pushing him out the door. "Duty calls." She smiled.

"But…" he said. "I just want to make sure you’re okay. I can stay home if you want me to."

But Buffy insisted. "We’re fine," she reassured him. "I promise."

Riley looked deeply into her eyes, searching for anything that could make him stay. But either Buffy was telling the truth, or she was hiding her fear very well.

"Okay," he sighed, brushing her cheek.

He kissed her again. "I love you." Then he bent down and planted a kiss on her belly. "I love you, too," he said to his daughter.

He stood and turned to the door, glancing once more at his wife. She was still so tiny despite her condition, even though she said she felt as big as a house. She was more beautiful to him than she had ever been, if that was possible.

He finally managed to pull himself away from his two girls, his heart heavy.

"Bye Daddy," Buffy said in a baby voice. Riley thought his heart would burst at the sound of the word "Daddy." He waved at them over his shoulder and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other all the way to the car.

Buffy watched as Riley got in the car and pulled out of the driveway. She continued to watch even after he had disappeared around the corner. A part of her hoped he would turn around and come back. Hold her. Tell her again that everything would be alright.

But she had to make him go. She had been leaning on him way too much and it was starting to wear on him. She could see it in his eyes. She had even considered sleeping in the guest room so she didn’t keep waking him up with her constant nightmares. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t bear the thought of waking up alone. Especially now, when the big day was so close.

Besides, she told herself. He has to fight demons since I can’t do it anymore.

She had continued with her Slayer duties until she started to show. Then Riley had put his foot down. He worried about her enough, he had told her. He didn’t need to worry about their baby as well. And anyway, she wasn’t exactly very mobile anymore. So it all worked out.

After Professor Walsh’s death, Riley was put in charge of the Initiative. He had implemented sweeping changes such as no more experimentation. Too much risk of escape. All demons were now killed directly on the spot. He also required every soldier to carry a stake and had Buffy teach them the fine art of using it. They had all looked at him as if he had finally lost it, but he calmly explained to them that guns can jam and break, but a stake, when used correctly, was always lethal. Besides, he told them, he was the boss.

As for Graham, he had been given Riley’s old job as a reward for his heroics in saving both Riley and Buffy. And at Buffy’s urging, he had finally asked Willow out. Which turned out to be one of the best things he had ever done, considering that he and Willow were going to be married in January.

Buffy sighed and went back into the house. She gazed around the living room. Cozy. That was a good word to describe it. There was a couch and two huge chairs, all piled with pillows. There was a coffee table stacked with books and old bridal magazines. She had kept those for Willow.

She glanced at the fireplace. Riley had thought it was strange that there was a house in southern California with a fireplace. There was a need for fireplaces in Iowa, he had told her. In Iowa, they got five feet of snow in one night. But in Sunnydale, there was no need. Not when it barely dropped below 65 degrees.

But Buffy had fallen in love with it the first time she’d laid eyes on it. She had always wanted a fireplace and just had to have this one. So they had bought the house.

She had designated the mantel as the place where they would put their family pictures. There weren’t very many pictures up there yet, but that would change. There was a picture of Riley’s side of the family-his parents, his brother and sister. There was also a picture of Buffy and her parents-one of their few happy times. In the center, there was Riley and Buffy’s wedding picture. She walked over to it and picked it up, studying it wistfully.

She closed her eyes, remembering. Even after all this time, she could still recall every single word that was said during the ceremony. They will have been married two years to the day in two weeks and to Buffy, it still seemed like yesterday.

Riley stood in front of her, holding her hands. He was smiling, looking extremely handsome in his tailored tuxedo. They had just finished saying the vows and had exchanged rings. The priest was about to pronounce them husband and wife when Riley spoke up.

"Can I say something?" he asked, looking at the priest.

The priest was surprised. This was highly unusual. But it wasn’t against the rules. He nodded, smiling. "Of course."

Riley looked once again at Buffy. She was so beautiful in her white gown. She was so full of light that it almost hurt to look at her. He took a deep breath.

"Buffy. I know we agreed on the traditional vows," he began slowly, "but they didn’t seem adequate. In sickness and in health, till death do us part isn’t nearly enough."

He squeezed her hands tightly in his.

"Standing in front of you now, looking into your eyes, there is so much I want to say to you." He smiled. "In my heart I knew we would get here some day. There were times when I let my imagination get the best of me, times when I convinced myself that I had lost you. But my heart never gave up."

Buffy felt her eyes fill with tears as she remembered everything they had been through together, the long and winding road that had led them to this moment.

"When I see you," he continued, "my soul smiles. And when I hear your voice say my name, I lose my breath. You are my world, Buffy. My present and my future."

The words flowed forth like water in a stream.

"My life began the moment you promised to marry me. The fact that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me was my redemption for every bad thing I had ever done. You have seen me on my worst days and you still love me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I will do everything in my power to make sure that my heart remains your home."

Tears of joy filled his eyes, on the brink of falling.

"The future is ours, Buffy. Yours and mine. When I look into your eyes, I can see forever. When I look into your heart, I can feel your love surround me. And when I look into your soul, I see my own."

He closed his eyes briefly, letting the tears fall. He opened them again, focusing on his bride.

"Thank you for loving me."

Buffy was speechless for a long moment.

The priest finally broke the silence. He spoke to the silent bride. "Would you like to say something?" he asked softly.

She turned her head to face him, nodding. "Yes," she said. "But I don’t know how to start." She looked back at Riley, who was smiling at her. His words had been so beautiful. How could she respond to that?

"Just listen to your heart," she heard the priest tell her.

She closed her eyes and did just that. When she opened them again, she spoke.

"Riley. When I met you, I was empty. I was lost in a maze, just wandering, finding nothing but dead ends. There was no way out. But then you came into my life and took my hand and showed me the way. After being lost for so many months, I was finally rescued."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her emotions.

"I had promised myself that I would never love anyone again. The pain, the heartache…it just wasn’t worth it. I would rather live my life alone than hurt like that again. But with your patience and persistence, you showed me that loving someone doesn’t have to hurt, that it doesn’t have to be so hard. Loving you is simple. It is the easiest thing in the world."

She smiled at him and squeezed his hands. He looked into her eyes.

"You say that your life began the moment I promised to marry you. Mine began the moment I realized that I loved you. When I finally stopped fighting and let go, I was overwhelmed. It was like a light shined through the darkness and I could finally see."

Tears began falling down her cheeks once again as she continued.

"I used to be afraid to look into the future. Afraid of what I would see there…or what I wouldn’t see. But now I find myself looking forward to the future. And when I look into your eyes, I can see it so clearly. And it’s wonderful.

"I love you, Riley Finn. With everything I have and with all that I am. I have never felt as proud as I do right now, standing here with you, holding your hands in mine, linking our lives together forever."

She melted into his eyes, his touch.

"I love you."

Buffy gazed at the picture, smiling at the memory. She rubbed her hand absently over her stomach, in smooth circles.

Sighing, she set the picture back in its place on the mantel. Here they were now, almost two years later, about to start their own family. And yet, she was finding it difficult to be happy about it. The constant fear she felt put a damper on what should be one of the happiest times of her life.

Bolstering herself, she said out loud, "Everything is going to be alright." She forced herself to believe it. At least for a little while.

"Sir?"

Riley was startled out of his thoughts and turned to face the direction of the voice. Graham was looking at him, his eyes studying him.

"Graham," Riley said informally. "You startled me. What is it?"

Graham paused, debating whether or not he should even bring it up. He had noticed that Riley was becoming more and more preoccupied lately and was concerned. Riley may be his boss, but he was also his friend. He decided to take a chance.

"Sir," he continued, keeping the conversation formal. After all, they were standing out in the open within earshot. Protocol had to be followed. "I just wanted to ask you if everything was alright." He kept his voice low.

Riley studied his second-in-command closely. So it was that obvious. He had tried to cover at work, to leave his personal issues in the background. Guess it didn’t work.

His voice was weary. "I can’t hide a thing from you, can I?" He tried to smile casually.

Graham was silent, waiting. He didn’t want to pry.

"Follow me, soldier." Riley began walking quickly to his office, Graham in tow. When the door was closed securely behind them, Riley spoke.

"It’s Buffy," he said bluntly. "She’s been having this dream. It’s really got her spooked."

Graham examined Riley’s face carefully. "She’s not the only one who’s spooked," he said simply.

Riley blinked, his shoulders sagging. He let out his breath, shaking his head. "That obvious, huh?" He looked at Graham.

Graham tried to reassure him. "You’ve hidden it pretty well, Ri. I just know you, that’s all."

Riley slumped into his desk chair and rubbed his eyes. Graham sat on the corner of the desk, facing Riley.

"I don’t know, Graham," Riley continued. "It’s gotten worse lately. It’s been happening every night." He focused on something in the distance.

"Why don’t you tell me about it? Maybe I can help." Graham was trying.

Riley shook his head. "I don’t think you can, Graham. I don’t even think I can." He sighed heavily, leaning his head back against the chair and staring at the ceiling.

"Maybe if you just talk about it, you’ll feel better." Graham’s Mr. Sensitive routine was all due to Willow. She had taught him that sometimes compassion was just as effective as fighting. That sometimes all a person needed was someone to listen to them.

Riley glanced at his friend with tired eyes. Maybe Graham was right. It was worth a shot.

When he finished telling the story, Graham nodded. "I can see why you guys are so freaked," he said.

Riley laughed. "So is that your diagnosis, Dr. Freud?"

Graham narrowed his eyes. "Hey. My job is just to listen. Not to dispense advice." He stood up. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No," Riley said, disappointed. "But thanks."

Graham turned to leave.

"Wait," Riley said, stopping him. "There is something you can do for me."

Graham paused, waiting. "Anything."

Riley sat up, looked at him closely. "You can not tell Willow about this." His voice was serious.

Graham looked at Riley, ready to argue. He didn’t keep secrets from Willow. But he saw the look in Riley’s eyes and decided to keep his mouth shut. Instead, all he said was, "Willow already suspects that something is wrong."

Riley stood his ground. "But she doesn’t know what, exactly. And Buffy and I would like to keep it that way. We don’t want her to worry…in case this all turns out to be nothing."

Graham didn’t argue. "Okay," he said. "But I don’t like keeping things from her."

Riley’s eyes were thankful, his voice genuine. "I really appreciate it."

Graham nodded and left. Riley leaned back in his chair again, closing his eyes. Graham had offered to help, but there wasn’t anything he could do. Riley feared there wasn’t anything anyone could do. He had never felt so helpless.

Suddenly, he sat straight up. He had just thought of something. Something that Buffy had mentioned to him. It had only been in passing and he was surprised he even remembered it.

He stood up. It was a long shot, but he had to try.

He almost ran out the door.

Buffy was dozing. The dream never came during the day and so she tried to catch up on some much-needed sleep whenever possible.

Her slumber was interrupted, however, by the doorbell. Buffy opened her eyes, annoyed. She had begun to think she would never sleep again.

The doorbell rang again. "I’m coming," she said, her voice tired. "Just give me a minute, would you?" She sat up and pushed herself clumsily off the couch. Her center of gravity had shifted dramatically over the past few months and she almost lost her balance. Grasping the arm of the sofa for support, she steadied herself.

She waddled over to the door, her back aching.

"Oh. Hi Mom," she said wearily when she saw Joyce on the porch. "What are you doing here?"

Her mother smiled. "Can’t a mother visit her daughter without needing a reason?" She sounded falsely cheery.

"Mom," Buffy said shortly, stepping aside to let her mother in.

Joyce stood in the middle of the living room, surveying the place. Buffy waited for her to say something negative. She always did.

"I love what you’ve done with the place. You and Riley must be very happy here." That false cheeriness again.

Buffy thought she would scream. But she held back. She inhaled deeply.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" she asked again.

Joyce finally gave up the niceties and answered her question. "I was just worried about you, honey. You hadn’t called in a while. I thought maybe something was wrong. That’s all." She studied her daughter carefully, noticing the dark circles under her eyes, the fatigue worn on her face. "And I was right."

The reason Buffy hadn’t called her mom was because she knew her mom would grill her for details and Buffy just didn’t know what to tell her.

"Sit down, honey." Joyce took her daughter’s hand and tried to lead her to a chair. "Tell me what’s wrong."

Here we go, Buffy thought. She shook off Joyce’s hand. But she sat down anyway. Joyce sat across from her.

"I’m fine, Mom. Really," she insisted. "I’ve just had a little trouble sleeping lately is all." She hoped her mom would be satisfied.

Joyce nodded. "Why? Because of the baby?" Looking at her now, Joyce still couldn’t believe that Buffy was going to be a mother. Her little girl was going to have a little girl of her own.

Buffy blinked at her mother’s question. There was no way she could know…But then she realized what Joyce was getting at.

"Yeah," Buffy nodded, lying. "She’s been kicking up a storm lately. She certainly wants out." She smiled weakly.

Joyce nodded knowingly. "I know that feeling. You were the same way. You couldn’t wait to greet the world. And I couldn’t wait to meet you."

But Buffy could wait. As long as her daughter remained inside of her, Buffy knew she was safe. But she couldn’t remain inside forever. That was what Buffy feared. She began to cry, hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

She suddenly wanted her mom to hold her, to tell her everything was going to be alright. The way she used to when Buffy was a little girl.

Joyce reached out for her daughter, resting Buffy’s head on her chest soothingly. "It’s okay, sweetheart. Don’t worry. Everything’s okay." She rocked back and forth gently.

But Buffy didn’t find her mom’s words as comforting as she’d hoped they’d be. Joyce didn’t know. She didn’t understand. Things weren’t okay.

Buffy continued to cry.

Riley gripped the steering wheel tightly. If he hurried, he could be there in less than two hours.

His eyes were on the road in front of him, but his mind was elsewhere. All he had been thinking about lately were all the terrible things that were happening, that could happen. He forced his mind to concentrate on something good, something happy.

When Riley walked through the front door, Buffy was standing in the kitchen doorway, smiling. He smiled back.

"Hey good lookin’," she said, teasing. "Come over here."

Riley dropped everything and made a beeline for his wife. He embraced her and planted a wet one on her lips. She responded in kind.

He pulled away from her and sniffed the air. "What smells so good?"

"Dinner," she said, turning and heading back into the kitchen. "I made something special."

Riley was curious. "What’s the occasion?" It wasn’t his birthday. Or hers. It wasn’t their anniversary.

Buffy smiled sheepishly at him. "You’ll find out."

"Buffy," he said suspiciously. "Tell me."

She shook her head emphatically. "Sorry. My lips are sealed. Now go wash up and meet me in the dining room."

"Come on," he whined. "Just a little hint?"

"You are incorrigible, Riley Finn. Now go. Scoot. The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll find out." She turned her back, leaning down to look inside the oven.

Riley watched her, getting some pre-dinner ideas. He grinned.

"You’re still here?" she asked in mock disapproval. She walked over to him, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him. "Now go," she said, pushing him out the door and closing it behind him.

Riley finally gave up and went upstairs to get ready for dinner.

When he entered the dining room, he smiled. Buffy was standing next to his chair, holding it out for him. The soft glow of candlelight illuminated her, making her eyes sparkle.

Riley took a seat, studying the table. He was really intrigued now.

"Now will you tell me?" he asked her, the suspense killing him.

"All in due time," she said. "All in due time."

He shot her a look across the table. "You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?"

"Yup," she said, smiling.

They ate dinner. Of course, Buffy served it one course at a time, just to make him wait.

Finally, dinner was over. Riley sat back. It was his turn to tease her.

"So are you sure you made that? I mean, it was really good." His eyes glittered in the dim light.

Buffy threw her napkin at him. "Very funny. Just for that, you’re not getting dessert." She toyed with him playfully.

His impatience grew. So she was going to make him wait through yet another course. He tried to head her off at the pass.

"I really couldn’t eat another bite."

But Buffy was on to him. She eyed him suspiciously, her eyes glowing.

"I know what you’re trying to do, Riley. And it’s not going to work." She was grinning. She stood up and disappeared into the kitchen. Riley was antsy.

When she returned, she was carrying a small, silver serving dish with a cover. It had been a wedding present from her father. She set it down in front of him.

Riley looked at her. "What about yours?"

She winked at him. "I really couldn’t eat another bite."

He gave her a look. "Ha ha."

"Well, go on. Open it. I made it especially for you."

Cautiously, he lifted the lid. But what he found inside wasn’t anything he could eat. It was a card.

He glanced up at Buffy, who was smiling. "What’s going on?" he asked quietly.

"Read it and find out," she whispered.

Returning his attention to the card, he picked it up carefully, inspecting it. He opened the envelope slowly and took out the card. It was homemade and looked as though a lot of effort had been put into it. He opened it gently and read the inscription-"Happy Father’s Day, Dad."

He turned his eyes to Buffy, confused.

"Surprise," she whispered, a lump forming in her throat.

Riley thought a moment longer. Then it dawned on him. He read the words again with a newfound appreciation, as he realized what they meant. Then he dropped the card on the table and grabbed his wife. His eyes looked into hers.

"So, are you happy?" she asked unnecessarily.

He answered her with a kiss. And right there on the dining room floor, what had started as pre-dinner ideas became post-dinner reality.

That very night, the nightmares had started. Riley sighed as he watched the taillights of the car in front of him.

He pressed the accelerator.

Buffy had finally fallen asleep. She had cried for almost an hour. Joyce sat on the floor, next to Buffy’s head, stroking her daughter’s hair absently.

Joyce was worried. She had never seen Buffy cry like that. Buffy had said that she was just tired. But Joyce knew there was more to it than that. People don’t cry like that out of fatigue.

She wished that Buffy would talk to her, would open up to her. But she never did. Especially not since she’d met Riley. Riley was Buffy’s confidante now. As it should be. He was her husband, the father of her child.

But Joyce couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. She would give anything to be friends with her daughter again, to just have a simple conversation with her.

The problem was that nothing was ever simple with Buffy. It never had been. Buffy had always kept things from her. Big things.

She gazed at her sleeping daughter, lamenting. She wondered what big thing Buffy was hiding from her now.

The bell on the front door of Angel Investigations jingled cheerfully.

Cordelia was at her desk, flipping through the latest copy of Cosmo. She didn’t look up.

"Welcome to Angel Investigations. We help the hope…hel-lo." She had finally looked up mid-sentence.

Riley stood in front of her desk. She eyed him appreciatively, flashing her million-dollar smile.

She stood, extending her hand. "What can I do for you?" she asked, stressing the "I" and the "you." She was still smiling, checking him out.

Riley shook her hand. "I need to speak to Angel. Is he here?" He was all business.

Cordelia was holding on to Riley’s hand with both of hers, shaking it repetitively. She had only been half-listening, looking into his eyes.

"Angel?" she asked absently, as if she’d never heard that name before.

Riley managed to pull his hand away, rubbing it absently with his other one.

That’s when she spotted it. The shiny gold band on the ring finger of his left hand.

Damn, she thought. The good ones are always married. Or gay.

Suddenly, she was alert and coherent. "You’re looking for Angel? Yeah, he’s…"

"Right here," Angel interrupted. He spotted Riley. "Riley."

"Angel." Riley looked at Angel, his eyes dark.

"So you two know each other?" Cordelia asked.

"We’ve met." Angel’s voice was low, controlled.

"Care to introduce us?" Cordelia asked, ignoring the animosity between the two of them.

Angel took a step towards them. "Riley Finn, this is Cordelia Chase. My assistant. Cordelia, this is Riley Finn. Buffy’s husband." He never took his eyes off Riley.

Cordelia thought she would fall over from shock. So Buffy bagged herself a babe, she thought bitterly. Figures. Then she had another thought. This one angered her.

"Buffy got hitched and didn’t invite me?"

Angel looked at Cordelia. "Cordelia. This is not the time. I’ll explain it to you later." He returned his gaze to Riley.

Buffy hadn’t invited Cordelia to the wedding because she knew Cordelia would tell Angel and then there would be a whole big mess. But Angel had found out anyway. Word travels fast in demon circles. Especially when a demon hunter marries a Slayer.

"Come into my office," Angel said to Riley, motioning him to the door. Riley stepped into the office. Angel followed behind, leaving Cordelia to stew in her own self-pity.

"So what brings you here?" he asked dully, closing the door behind him.

Riley got right to the point. "Buffy told me you have connections to the Powers That Be." He eyed Angel levelly.

Angel took a step closer. "Not really. Just spoken with the Oracles once or twice." That brought to mind the fateful deal Angel had made with them so many years ago. He wondered for a moment if he would even be standing here now, having this conversation with Riley, if that had never happened.

He shook it off. He had made a choice. Now he had to live with it.

"Could you speak to them again if you needed to?" Riley asked carefully.

Angel was curious. He cocked his head slightly. "Why do you ask?"

Riley didn’t move, didn’t blink. "I need some information from them."

Angel didn’t move either. "What kind of information?"

Riley finally backed down. He needed Angel’s help. Now was not the time for a pissing contest.

"Look," he said, relaxing. He began to pace. Angel’s eyes followed him closely. "Buffy keeps having this nightmare. It’s really scaring her. Frankly, it’s scaring me too. I just want to know what it means." He stopped pacing, directed his eyes at Angel.

Angel’s expression gave away nothing. "What does this dream entail?"

Riley hesitated. Does it matter? But he realized that Angel would find out eventually anyway. So he told him.

"Our daughter," he stated simply.

Angel’s face remained unchanged. But inside, his stomach twisted. Buffy was a mother. The grapevine had failed to reveal that tidbit.

"What else?" he pressed.

"She’s taken the moment she’s born by some unknown person…or thing," Riley continued. "Buffy never sees a face."

Angel thought about that for a moment. He turned and walked to his desk, setting his body in the chair heavily. He didn’t respond for a long moment.

Riley interrupted impatiently. "So will you speak to them?"

Angel gazed at him calmly. "I’ll go to them. Whether I speak to them or not is entirely up to them."

Riley shrugged that off. "I’m going with you."

Angel stood again. "You can’t," he said, his tone urgent.

"Why not?" Riley asked angrily.

Angel remained stoic. "The Oracles don’t take kindly to strangers."

Riley didn’t have a response. He stared at Angel, open-mouthed.

"Fine," he said. "You go there, then. By yourself. Ask them what it means."

Angel nodded, but didn’t speak.

"But you call me the moment you return. You got that?" Riley’s eyes bore into Angel’s.

"I’ll see what I can do." Angel walked to the door.

Riley went to the desk and jotted down his cell phone number. He didn’t want Angel to call him at home, in case Buffy answered. He tore off the piece of paper and walked over to Angel, handing it to him.

He paused, his anger gone. His voice was calm. "Thank you."

Angel nodded silently.

"So he returns," the male said. "The vampire with a soul. The one they call Angel."

"Let’s cease with the introductions, shall we? You know why I’m here." Angel was standing at the foot of the platform, looking up at the two Oracles. His voice was serious.

"Of course," said the female. "The child."

Angel remained where he was standing, shifting his gaze back and forth between the two of them. "What do want with her?" he asked.

"We need a pure soul," the female said.

"Borne of another," added the male.

Angel studied them carefully. "What for?"

The male answered, his voice booming. "We have no need to explain our motives to you."

"How about a trade?" Angel asked without thinking. "One soul for another." He waited.

"We’re listening," said the female.

"If I could find you another soul, would you spare the child’s?" Angel asked insistently.

The male Oracle took a step towards him. "That depends on the soul," he said, looking through Angel. "Who’s do you have in mind?"

Angel stared right at him, his eyes piercing. "Mine."

The male Oracle stepped back, laughing. "Forget it. No deal."

Angel felt his hope fading.

"Wait," said the female. "Let’s hear him out." She turned her attention to Angel. "Go on."

Angel took advantage of this chance. "You say you need a pure soul borne of another. Take mine. The soul I have now is pure. I have done nothing to soil it. And it was restored to me by one of the purest souls I know." He was referring to Willow.

"Interesting," the female stated.

"No," the male interrupted. "He is too valuable to our earthly operations."

"More valuable than the daughter of a Slayer?" Angel interjected.

"He has a point, brother," the female said softly, touching her brother’s shoulder. "Think of the endless possibilities."

The male remained silent. Angel watched them closely as they had a conference with each other. This just had to work. If it didn’t, there was nothing left to do.

Finally, they turned around again, faced Angel.

"If we accept your proposal," the male began, "you know what that means for you."

Angel nodded, unable to speak.

A pause.

"Very well, then." The male Oracle looked at Angel closely.

The female broke in, Angel watching her as she spoke.

"The moment the child is born, the very moment she takes her first breath of life, the exchange will take place."

Angel nodded in agreement.

"Until that time," she continued, "you must continue on as you are now. If anything should happen to jeopardize your soul’s current condition, then the deal is off and we take the child’s."

Angel didn’t move. "I understand," he said weakly.

"I suggest you say your goodbyes, tie up loose ends. The time is fast approaching," the male added.

"When?" Angel asked.

"In three weeks. December 17. 1:37 a.m."

Angel nodded silently.

Riley had come home to find Joyce sitting on the couch at Buffy’s feet. Buffy was still sleeping.

Joyce had asked him what was wrong with Buffy. And that she wanted the truth. But Riley had just told her the same thing Buffy had-that Buffy was tired because the baby was keeping her awake. Joyce had finally given up and had gone home.

They lay in bed now. Buffy was sound asleep by Riley’s side. The dream had yet to make an appearance.

Riley hadn’t been able to sleep a wink. All he could think about was what was taking Angel so long. He should have called by now. He clutched his cell phone in his hand tightly. He had it on vibrate so it wouldn’t wake Buffy.

He watched her sleeping. Of course he hadn’t told her about his trip to LA. She was stressed enough, she didn’t need him adding to it.

He about jumped out of bed at the sensation of the phone vibrating in his hand. He stood up quickly and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He flipped the phone open and put it up to his ear, his heart pounding.

"Yeah," he said, his voice shaking.

"Riley. It’s Angel." Riley’s heart skipped a beat.

"What did you find out?" he asked, frightened.

Angel’s voice was unemotional. "The Powers That Be want your daughter’s soul."

Riley thought his legs would give out and he sat on the edge of the bathtub. He couldn’t breathe. He could barely speak. "Is there anything that can be done?" he asked desperately.

"No," Angel stated. "There is nothing you can do."

Riley turned off the phone, hanging up on Angel. He didn’t want to hear any more.

The room was spinning and Riley was struggling for air.

"There is nothing you can do." Angel’s words reverberated around in his head.

He started shaking uncontrollably and covered his face with his hands. He slowly slid to the floor.

Sobs wracked his body.

"You promised me that if I ever lost my soul again, you’d kill me." Angel looked at Cordelia. Her eyes were wide, full of shock and anger.

"That was when I thought I’d never have to! Before you decided to give your soul away!" Her voice was shrill.

Angel, Wesley, and Cordelia were sitting at Angel’s kitchen table. They had discussed many issues at this table, but nothing like this.

Wesley spoke up. "Angel. I understand why you’re doing this. But you could have at least discussed it with us. Told us what you were planning to do."

Angel looked at him. Wesley didn’t understand. He didn’t understand at all.

"There wasn’t time for discussion, Wesley. I had to make a decision quickly."

Cordelia cut in. "The things you do for her, Angel. She’s not worth it. I mean, what has she done for you lately?" she said bitterly.

"Cordelia," Angel said softly, covering her hand with his. "I have to do this. There’s no other choice." He looked at her closely, trying to make her understand. "Besides. This is for more than just Buffy. It’s for her daughter. And for Riley." He almost choked on the name.

"I can’t believe what I’m hearing. You’re giving up everything for the guy she replaced you with. How noble," she spat, standing up and pushing away from the table.

"Cordelia," Angel said lightly.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I won’t do it. Get Wesley to do it. Get anyone else. But I won’t do it." She walked out of the kitchen and to the front door.

"I’m sorry," she said, slamming the door behind her.

Wesley and Angel looked at each other in silence.

Later that night, there was a knock on Angel’s door. Cordelia stood outside the door, much calmer than when she left earlier that evening. She looked at Angel sadly.

"If anyone kills you, it should be a friend." She thought about the strangeness of her words. "So, I’ll do it. I’ll kill you when the time comes."

Angel looked at his loyal friend and assistant. "Thank you," he said softly.

Buffy and Riley celebrated their second wedding anniversary quietly. No party, no special dinner, no nothing. Instead, they had stayed home and watched an old movie on television. Neither had been in any sort of mood to celebrate much of anything.

She was still having the nightmare. Every night she woke up crying. Riley hadn’t told her about Angel’s call, his meeting with the Oracles. He didn’t have the heart to break hers. So he carried it around with him, suffering in silence and grieving enough for the both of them.

There was nothing left to do but pray. And hope against hope that the Powers would change their minds.

The offices at Angel Investigations were quieter than usual. No one dared to even breathe too loudly. The time was just a few hours away. Everyone knew it. There was no need to talk about it.

"No," she sobbed. "I’m not ready! I’m not ready…" She was rocking back and forth in bed, holding her arms around her stomach tightly. Her water had broken. It was time.

Riley was up in a hurry, helping Buffy out of bed. "Come on," he whispered, his heart heavy. "We’ve got to go."

She looked up at him, tears staining her face. Terror filled her eyes. "No," she cried. "It’s not time yet. It’s too early…"

"Buffy," he whispered because he couldn’t manage anything louder. "It’s time. Please."

She just sat there, rocking, moaning softly. She couldn’t move.

Riley leaned over and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. "Please don’t let them take her, Riley. Promise me you won’t let them take her."

Riley’s heart was breaking. He kissed her forehead gently and spoke through the growing lump in his throat. "I promise."

It was 10:57 p.m., December 16.

The three people that were Angel Investigations sat at Angel’s kitchen table quietly. They all pretended to be doing something else, but their minds were all on the same thing.

Cordelia sighed and got up, going to the stove. She had made some tea.

"Any last requests?" she asked in a poor attempt to lighten the mood.

Angel looked at her, his eyes studying her face. "Cordelia. It’s okay. I know this is hard."

She shot a cold glance back at him. "Oh yeah? When was the last time you had to kill your best friend?"

Angel didn’t have a response.

They were all gathered at the hospital. Willow and Graham sat together on the couch, holding hands. Xander and Anya leaned together against the wall. Giles and Joyce paced around the waiting room. There were no words and no smiles.

Inside the delivery room, nurses rushed around preparing for the entrance of a new life into the world.

Riley held Buffy’s hand, smoothing her hair back off her sweaty forehead. She had been in labor for only two and a half hours, but she was ready to go. Things were moving quickly. Too quickly.

The doctor came in and sat on a stool in front of Buffy’s stirruped legs. She lifted the sheet back.

"Okay," she said confidently. "It’s time to meet your daughter. I want you to push on three."

Buffy shook her head resolutely. "No," she said, sobbing. "I can’t…" She was inconsolable.

"Sure you can. Just take a deep breath and give it all you’ve got," the doctor said, smiling under her mask.

"No…no," Buffy cried. "Riley, please don’t make me."

Riley bent down and put his lips to her ear. "Buffy, listen to me," he said, swallowing hard. He needed to be strong for her. "I’m here. And I love you. We’re gonna be okay." He squeezed his eyes shut, holding back the tears.

"Okay," the doctor said. "Here we go. When I count to three, I want you to push." She paused. "One…two…three."

Buffy took a deep breath and started to push.

It was 1:34 a.m.

Angel was pacing. He knew the end was coming and he knew exactly when. But that didn’t make it any easier to wait for.

He suddenly remembered something he had forgotten to tell Cordelia. Something very important. He ran over to her and grasped her shoulders tightly, staring into her eyes.

"Cordelia, promise me one thing," he said urgently.

"Anything," she said weakly.

"Promise me you won’t tell Buffy about this. She must never know. No one must ever know." His eyes were pleading with her.

Cordelia wanted to argue, but had neither the strength nor the time. If Angel wanted to die a martyr, then let him.

"Promise me, Cordelia," Angel insisted.

"I promise," she whispered.

Wesley broke in reluctantly. "It’s 1:36."

Angel and Cordelia looked at him wearily. The voice of doom.

Angel stood up and walked into the living room, in front of the fireplace. He was waiting. Cordelia pushed herself up from the table, the stake grasped tightly in her hand. She walked over in front of him, ready. They looked into each other’s eyes. Wesley stood in the distance, watching.

"Goodbye," he whispered to both of them. "Thank you for everything."

He fell to his knees, shaking. Cordelia watched him, petrified. Wesley looked at the clock. 1:37 a.m.

When the dark eyes once again focused on Cordelia, she knew it was over. Angel was gone. Only Angelus remained.

"Do it, Cordelia. Now," Wesley insisted.

Angelus began to get up, his eyes flashing.

Cordelia plunged the stake deep into his chest, tears streaming down her face. Wesley came up behind her as she dropped the stake onto the pile of dust on the floor.

"Goodbye, Angel."

Riley couldn’t believe it. He thought he would scream with joy. He felt as though he would float to the ceiling after all that weight was lifted from his shoulders.

He smiled down at his wife and newborn daughter. The two most important people in the world to him. And they were both still here. He didn’t question why. Why tempt the fates?

Buffy looked at him, holding their daughter in her arms. "Thank you," she whispered through her tears.

Riley kissed her forehead. "For what?" he asked through his.

"For never giving up," she replied.

If only she knew the truth, he told himself. But he wasn’t going to think about that ever again.

"So," he said, looking down at his daughter, touching her pink skin gently. "What’s your name?"

Riley emerged from Buffy’s room, holding his daughter. Buffy was sleeping. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Everyone," he said to the gang. " I want you to meet someone very special." He turned so that everyone could see her face.

"This," he said happily, ever the proud papa, "is Emma. Emma Lauren Finn."

The End