_When I stood in that church, in front of all my friends and family, and said "until death do us part," I didn't really understand what I was saying. The seriousness never dawned on me; there were parties to plan and old friends to see. Our wedding, our marriage they were going to be a good time. "In good times and in bad," I said that too. But I never really thought about the bad; I only saw the good._

_And you'd think that I, of all people, would be able to anticipate the bad. I just didn't. Ever since I met Riley Finn I've been living a dream. A beautiful dream kept safe from all harm in a bubble. Then my wake up call came so fast; I didn't have time to react..._

"Ow!" Willow cried. "Buffy! Over here!"

At the redhead's cry, her friends came running. Buffy, stake in hand, crossed the graveyard first. For a moment, she paused disoriented; the darkness was so overwhelming she could hardly see her friend trapped beneath a growling vampire. The confusion lasted only a split second, then Buffy sprang to action. She knocked the vampire on its back with a powerful kick to the chest.

Freed, Willow scrambled to her feet and ran to the rest of her friends, who were just now catching up with the Slayer. Their timing was perfect; at that moment the vampire's buddies came out of the woodwork and growled at the motley crew.

Xander and Anya grabbed one by its arms and hauled it backwards as they tried to pin it to the ground. Willow levitated a nearby fallen tree limb to her as a weapon and started to fend them off.

"Beating them off with a stick, huh Will?" Buffy quipped as she ducked an attack from another vampire.

Willow just smiled her response. She watched as Riley staked a vamp that had come up behind Buffy. He continued to fight with the strong punches and fluid movements he had been trained in. All the while, he watched Buffy out of the corner of his eye. He would never let her out of his sight.

Buffy was making a lot of headway against the army of darkness closing in on her. She had hit the Slayer Zone; every part of her body was working together in perfect coordination. She punched, kicked and stabbed with all her strength of body and mind. All her senses were focused completely on the undead as the rest of the world fell away. She was the perfect warrior. The vampires didn't have a chance. They fell quickly.

When the fight was over and Buffy came back to reality, she was mixed-up. Slaying left her with no concept of how much time had passed. Xander helped Anya too her feet. Both were breathless and when they looked at each other it wasn't hard to see what they were thinking about. Willow rolled her eyes at Buffy and gave her a congratulatory hug.

"Sickening, aren't they?" Willow giggled. Buffy nodded her head in agreement. "Kinda like you and Riley," she joked. Buffy gave her a warning look.

Then she remembered. She looked around the graveyard. "Riley?" She called. Nothing. She looked around the graveyard again. He had to be there. "Riley?" She called again, but received the same reply.

Worried looks crossed her friends' faces. They began to look too, other thoughts pushed from their minds. "Riley?" They all called together. Where could he have gone to? Buffy mentally kicked herself for not watching him more closely during the battle.

Buffy jogged to the edge of the cemetery, where she had seen Riley fighting before. But she came to abrupt stop at the view in front of her. Her friends' cries died from her ears and a lump formed in her throat. She felt sick and dizzy and painful. Everything hurt all at once.

Buffy's scream brought her friends rushing to her side. But Buffy didn't notice them. She didn't hear Willow's cries of "Oh my God" through her tears. Or Anya yelling at Xander to call an ambulance. None of it registered. The only thing she saw was her husband, her better half, lying bloodied and beaten in front of her. He was still. Way too still.

It was horrible. Buffy had seen some gruesome things in her day, but this one would never, ever be erased from her memory. It was chiseled there, as if in stone, to resurrect itself at the worst possible moments. Yet Buffy couldn't tear her eyes away. She stared at him and his glassy eyes stared back. She thought of all the times that he would pretend to be sleeping in the morning when they woke up and she, thinking he wasn't watching her, would look at him and thank whoever was listening for sending him to her. Then he would jerk suddenly and she would yelp in surprise. And he laughed. She loved the way he laughed.

Maybe if she wished hard enough she would hear that laugh again. So she just kept staring at him, willing him to move. But he didn't move until the paramedics moved him.

It was cold at the hospital. That's all Buffy could think about as the doctors wheeled her husband into a trauma room. She was cold all over. The doctors had tried to ask her questions but Buffy had remained mute, thank God Willow had been there to come up with an elaborate lie. At least one person's brain was functioning correctly. Buffy couldn't even form thoughts let alone comprehend what was happening to Riley, how her life was changing in front of her. Or how she could do nothing about it.

Buffy shivered. It was very cold in the hospital, she worried that the tears running down her face might turn to ice.

Riley's condition wasn't good. That's all Buffy got. They said what was wrong with him exactly, then Willow started to cry hysterically and that's how Buffy figured it out. She wasn't sure what to do, her best friend was crying. But why? So Buffy put her arms around her and tried to calm her down. "It'll be okay," she said. But she wasn't sure they would.

The doctors wanted to know if Buffy wanted to see him. What a silly question, Buffy thought. She always wanted to see Riley. He was her husband, her everything, she hated not to see him.

They lead a still catatonic Buffy into a small hospital room. It was a bare, depressing room. Buffy wouldn't have wanted to stay there for any length of time. Riley lay on the crisp white sheets of the bed. He had tubes coming in and out of him. And the heart monitor next to him beat only faintly. Buffy found the sound comforting. She realized later that it always had been comforting.

She sat on an uncomfortable stool placed beside the bed. Buffy took a sharp breath. This wasn't her husband. Her husband was tall and strong with dancing, happy eyes. This man, whoever he was, looked so small and weak. His eyes were closed. She brushed some golden hair off of his forehead. Funny, it felt like Riley's hair, all soft and wispy.

When she touched him, she could've sworn he said something. Just one word mumbled as she slipped out of consciousness again. He said "Hope." It was so soft, no one could hear it but Buffy. His voice trembled through all the great pain he would never be able to describe to anyone and the confusion that clouded his mind. It was that moment that it hit Buffy.

She loved him. She had said it before, to others and to Riley, but never knew what she was saying. She loved him with all her heart and soul. Everything hurt. She couldn't lose him, she just couldn't. Silently she prayed for another chance. He didn't know. He didn't know how much she loved him or how much she needed him. It wasn't fair. Just when her head knew the secrets of her heart she had no one to share them with.

Buffy rocked herself back and forth trying to stop the tears that were flowing freely now. Tiny, pained moaning sounds escaped her mouth. Buffy didn't hear them; she was lost inside her head. With Riley. She thought of all those times he had comforted her when she hurt. She could almost hear him now, soothing her and rocking her back and forth.

He had loved her. She saw that now, of course now. He had loved her since the beginning the way that she had only just discovered that she had. With all his heart, his good heart.

She stopped rocking and buried her head in her hands. The pain wouldn't stop. She wanted him to know. She had to let him know now, if she didn't she would lose him. Buffy got to her feet and whispered, "Riley." He didn't answer. She put her hand against his chest and shook him trying to make him wake up. "Riley." No response.

Buffy smiled through her tears. The heart monitor beeped. He could hear her, she knew he could. She bent over and stared at his face briefly before she gently ran her lips across his. They were cold, and he didn't kiss back, but it didn't matter because she knew that his love wasn't confined to his body. Buffy couldn't feel it, she couldn't taste it, she couldn't hear it but she knew that all around her, he was kissing her back.

Her lips slowly dipped down and hovered over his ear. Her voice was shaking. She was shaking. But she had to let him know, he had been waiting so long for her response. And it wasn't too late yet. "My skin is humming too," she whispered.

Buffy walked home. It was cold but she didn't feel it anymore. She didn't feel much. Her house, their house, stood tall before her. It wasn't too far from her mother's home, which was both a good thing and a bad thing. It was big, big enough for a whole family. Lots of children, Buffy knew that's what Riley had wanted but he had to give it up for her because the Slayer couldn't be off duty for that long. Riley had given up a lot for her.

The only light came from the living room in the front of the house. A figure was inside watching TV. No one in the house knew. And for a moment Buffy though of staying outside, or going someplace else, so she wouldn't disrupt the serenity. Something drew her inside but he was still at the hospital...

Spike jumped off the couch when he heard the front door open. God, they were home late. Where the hell had they been? It's not like they paid him for this; he couldn't just sit around her all night and waste his unlife away. Spike paused in the doorframe when he saw the Slayer's face. It was tear-streaked and blotchy, her lower lip trembled. Only then did it register that Riley wasn't with her.

"Buffy...?" Spike didn't know what to ask. It wasn't like he was good with these delicate situations.

"I'm okay," Buffy lied through fresh tears. She turned her face so she wouldn't have to look at him. "Willow, Xander and Anya are still at the hospital. I guess there was some stuff..." her voice trailed off when she realized she didn't know what she was talking about. She wasn't making any sense either. Nothing made much sense now.

It didn‘t matter. Spike understood. He had been on this earth for a long time and he understood. "Let me go back to the crypt. Get my stuff. I don't want to leave you alone. Not tonight." It wasn't like him. He didn't even put some "evil" spin on it or make her pay money. But just because he was evil, didn't mean he was heartless.

When Spike had gone, Buffy sank to the ground where she stood. She hadn't noticed she was crying again. Her world was spinning; everything was changing. Everything was different. It didn't matter that Spike was coming back, and would be there soon to take care of her. She still felt alone. All over, she was alone.

It was a few minutes before Buffy could pick herself up off the floor. Her whole body was weak and she felt like she was going to fall down. But she had to go upstairs. She had to see. As she climbed the stairs, Buffy clutched the railing with both hands. Her legs were wobbling like they were going to give out beneath her. But she kept going, that's what she had to do: keep going.

The white door in front of her had the words "Hope's Room" printed on it in sky blue. Buffy remembered when Riley painted it; he had been so proud of himself and so excited at the idea of what was going to be kept inside. Happy times. Silently, Buffy pushed to door open, soft music met her ears. She stood still for a while, taking in the sight before her. All the stuffed animals, the cheerily painted walls, a most importantly the crib that was in the middle of the floor.

Buffy crept over and stared at the infant. Her baby. Riley's baby. She was so beautiful. Hope smiled up at her, completely oblivious to the events of the evening. The baby cooed.

"You're supposed to be asleep," Buffy whispered as she stroked her daughter's head. Hope laughed giddily as her mother touched her.

Hope loved it when her Mommy held her. She was so warm and soft all over. It was great. So when Buffy lifted the little person into her arms, she squealed with delight. Sometimes Buffy wished she could understand what the infant was saying, and now was one of those times. Hope was contently babbling as Buffy began to dance her round and round. Buffy smiled at her daughter, it was the first real smile that had touched her lips since before it had happened. Hope was ecstatic. She loved to dance with Mommy. It wasn't as much fun as dancing with Daddy because it was tall and made her feel like a big girl. Where was Daddy anyway?

Buffy sat down in the corner rocking chair. It was getting too late for Hope; she was yawning all over the place. It was best to let her sleep. It wasn't long before the tiny girl had curled up against her mother and was in dreamland. Buffy stilled rocked back and forth gently. Hope babbled and cooed in her sleep, which made Buffy giggle. Her baby was better than any baby that wasn't her baby.

Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy noticed a thick, pink book next to the chair. She knew what it was: Hope's Baby Book. One side of her brain screamed for her not to pick it up, to put it back, not to open it. But Buffy did anyway. She was in a funny mood, nothing felt real. Her head was all cloudy and mixed up and she couldn't really hear the warnings through the fog.

The first page had a picture of Riley on it. He was holding Hope on the day she was born. He was so happy, so proud. He held her like trophy and Buffy watched from a nearby hospital bed with a smile on her face. All the pictures were like that, the three of them and they were happy. Riley was the happiest of all. He was like a kid in a candy shop. Buffy wondered if Hope knew how much he cherished her.

Buffy looked at the sleeping infant. "Hope, honey," Buffy murmured. The baby didn't wake up. Buffy was glad, it would be easier that way. Someone had to tell her. "I want you to know that your Daddy loves you. He, uh, wanted you more than anything and was the best Daddy ever. But um," her voice cracked and Buffy realized she was crying again, "something happened tonight. Daddy got hurt and we had to take him to the hospital." Buffy wasn't really talking to Hope anymore. She was talking to herself, trying to make herself believe it and trying to forget it all at the same time. "The doctors did everything they could. But...Riley Finn died at 3:52 am last night. He leaves behind his daughter, Hope, and his wife, Buffy..."

Hope mumbled something in her sleep. And even though the baby couldn't talk yet, Buffy knew that is was "Daddy."

The End