It was twilight time.  Spike was out on the sidewalk in front of the Summers’ home debating on where to go to find a new place to live.  He was done with cemeteries, they were just too obvious.

He thought about the demons and vamps who had come looking for him.  *  Stupid gits!  They’ll never leave me alone.  *  He was hungry and thirsty and he had one hundred dollars in his pocket.  He needed to get himself pissed drunk on blood and beers.  He’d worry about his accommodations later.  *  I’ll probably end up in the sewer tonight or maybe the trunk of my car.  I hope those demons didn’t find my car.  Bloody Hell!  *  Spike headed in the direction of The Bronze.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

          The Bronze, 7:10 p.m.

          The gang stood outside the Bronze with all their attention turned towards the sex demon who was orchestrating this particular field trip to their favorite hang out. 

          Alex took a deep breath and composed herself for her speech.  “O.K. ladies!  Except you Dawn, you’re too young.”

          Dawn frowned.  “Too young for what?”

          “Too young to be doing what we are going to be doing.”  Alex looked around to see if anyone other than the Slayerettes were looking at her.  The coast was clear and she morphed herself into a lovely looking Asian woman in cute black mini dress.

          Buffy gaped at her.  “Wow!  That’s really . . . Wow!”

          Alex cut her off.  “Yeah, yeah whatever.  Now listen up!  I want you to clear your minds of reality.  Concentrate on fantasy, sexual fantasy.”  Alex looked at Tara and Willow accusingly as the two women stood holding each other’s hand.  “Sexual fantasies that involve men.  Got it?  Tara? Willow?  Just for the next few hours try to be heterosexual?”

          Tara tried to protest.  “B-but. . .”

          “No butts!  If you have to think about girls, put it in the context of a threesome.  Charley doesn’t hit on lesbians, it’s a waste of his time.”

          Dawn finally understood what the girls were really going to do, including Alex.  “So, you’re going to try to get your brother to hit on you?  That’s just so gross!”

          Alex nodded in agreement.  “Whatever works.  I need to keep him safe.”

          Anya was very excited at the prospect of flirting.  It was something she didn’t have much experience with.  “So you want us to think about any guy?”

          Alex checked her face in her compact mirror.  “Yes.  Drum up your favorite fantasies.  Anything you want, go wild.  It could be Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford or the mailman for all I care.  You just have to be open to it.  Charley will pick up on the vibe and he will be become your own personal fantasy.”

          Anya jumped in excitement.  “Really?  Anyone I want?  Thank goodness Xander had to work late tonight!”

          All the gang looked at Anya with surprise.  Anya shrugged it off.  “It’s just a fantasy!  Right?”

          Giles stepped forward with Dawn.  “What pray tell shall Dawn and I do while all this ‘flirting and fantasizing’ is going on?”

          Alex looked to Buffy for an answer.  Buffy smiled at her watcher.  “I don’t know Giles.  You could pimp us out, maybe?”

          “I certainly will not be pimping anyone out!  I’m a watcher for pity’s sake!”

          Dawn put her hand on his shoulder.  “We could get a snack.”

          “I think I’ve lost my appetite.”

          Alex snapped her fingers.  “Hey!  Focus here!  Are we ready to go or not?”

          The whole group stepped to attention and replied in unison.  “YES!”  Alex turned and headed to the front door while the rest followed behind her.

          Giles groaned and whispered to Dawn.  “It’s going to be a long night.  I can tell.”

          Dawn pouted and crossed her arms in front of her.  “It’s gonna totally suck!”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike sat in a dark corner of The Bronze sipping on his beer and watching the human world go by.  He was lost in thought again about the Slayer and how she had looked this afternoon.  He couldn’t shake the image of her sitting on the floor so distraught with those big tears dripping down her pretty little face.  She’d been clutching his coat.

*  Crying on the leather!  Why?  *

Spike lifted the collar of his coat to his nose and sniffed it for the thousandth time that day.  It was her scent and it was driving him insane.  The possibility that she had been even the slightest bit put out over his demise made him excited.  Let alone the fact that she looked as if her little world had come crashing down because of his death.  He felt like if he had pushed her just a little bit more, maybe she would have . . .  “No!  That’s just too ridiculous.  She hates me.”  He mumbled to himself.

          Spike’s eyes refocused on the crowd when he saw a group of familiar girls.  There was Red and her girlfriend Tara, Anya, the Slayer and some cute Asian woman all casing the joint.  Spike had decided to go over and find out what they were up to when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

          “Hey Spike!”

          “Nibblet?  What are you doing here?  Shouldn’t you be home with the babysitter?”  Giles walked by Spike’s sight line and Spike laughed and pointed at the watcher.  “Oh, there he goes!”

          “Spike!  I’m fifteen!  I’m not a baby!  Geez!”

          Spike lit up a cigarette.  “Sorry, I forgot.  You’re so very mature.”

          “Shut up, oh evil undead one!”

          Spike stuck his tongue out at Dawn and squeezed her chubby little cheek with his thumb and forefinger making her squeal. 

“Dork!”  Dawn punched the vampire in the arm.

“Aw Dawn!  That’s so mature!”

“Hey!  Just remember who took you’re sorry demon ass in last night!  Me!”  Dawn paused and decided to mess with him the only way she knew how.  “Not that Buffy wouldn’t have let you in . . .”

Spike was interested in this game.  “Come again?”

“I let you in.  Not Buffy.”

“But you said she would have?”

          “Yeah, I think she was a little insulted that you didn’t come to her first.  I predict that some day if you keep being a good little vampire she might actually stop hating you.  You could actually graduate from utter disgust to mild dislike!”

          “Yeah well, here’s hoping for the highly unlikely!”  Spike tipped his beer to the teenager and took a large gulp.  “So, what are you really doing here?  What’s the Scooby gang up to?”

          Dawn rolled her eyes.  “The girls are trying to get picked up by some horny sex demon.”

          Spike took a drag off of his cigarette and laughed.  “Funny one, bite size!”

          “I’m not kidding.”

          “Bloody Hell!”  Spike threw his arms up in disgust, turned on his heel and strode away from the Slayer’s little sister.  As he left she could here him say, “Put a stake in me!  I’m done!”

Buffy split from the rest of the girls.  Tara and Willow were by the bar chatting up a couple of guys and giggling with each other.  They actually looked like they were having a good time doing this.

          Anya’s tactic was to walk up to each individual male she saw without a woman and say something like:  “Hello there!  I’m Anya.  Are you interested in buying me a drink and flirting with me?”

          Alex was the only one keeping a cool head about this.  Buffy supposed that the succubus had a lot of practice with this sort of thing.  Alex had separated from the rest of them and ended up on the dance floor with several men dancing and drooling all over her.

          Buffy watched as Alex took her time sizing each one of the men up and making her decision as to whether or not he could be her brother.  Buffy waved in Alex’s direction to see if she was having any luck.  Alex shook her head and mouthed the words “none of these guys”.

          Buffy sighed.  She didn’t want to be here doing this . . . it was terminally embarrassing and kind of naughty. 

          *  Hmmm . . . naughty, bad, taboo, forbidden . . .  *  she thought smirking to herself.

          Buffy made her way to the opposite side of the dance floor and staked her claim in one spot.  She began to dance like she knew she was being watched by all the men in the entire club.  And she was.  That was when she saw him out of the corner of her eye.  The bleach blond vampire was there standing still in the midst of the writhing humans.  Smug smile on his face and ice blue eyes devouring her – he could make her feel violated with just one look.

          *  This must be his favorite thing to do.  *

He approached her slowly, stalking through the crowd to reach her.

“Hello, pet.  Nice night for it.”

“Spike!  What are you doing here?  Aren’t you supposed to be finding a rock to crawl under and call home?”

“What?  And miss my favorite slayer dance like a go-go girl in a cage?  I think not!”

“I have no time for you right now.  I’m busy.  I’m doing some slayer-related dancing.”

“Really?  Trying to make the dead stiffer than they already are?”

“You really are disgusting.”

“I know, but you love me anyway.”

Buffy burst out laughing and walked away from him.  Spike followed her towards the bar where Giles and Dawn were sharing a blossoming onion.  The watcher and the teenager watched as Buffy again tried to escape the pesky vampire’s advances.

Buffy turned and faced Spike again.  “Beat it Spike!  I’m not in the mood for your crap right now.  I swear if you don’t leave I’ll . . .”

“You’ll what?  Stake me?  Chop my head off?  Put me in an ashtray?”  Spike patted his mouth and pretended to yawn.  “So boring, Slayer!”

Buffy grabbed the stake hidden in her boot and waved it in his face.  “You wanna try me?”

Spike took one big step and closed the gap between them.  He put his face right into hers.  He could feel the heat radiating off of her body and smell the scent of her perfume envelope him.  “Always.”  He whispered.

Buffy scowled at him.  “Eew!  Stop it!  I’m through playing with you tonight!  Just because you can’t kill me physically doesn’t mean I’m going to let you annoy me to death!”

Buffy grabbed the collar of his coat and dragged him out the nearest exit which happened to be by the alley.  She pushed him out the door roughly and slammed his face up against the brick wall.  Pinning his hands behind his back she hissed in his ear.  “Get lost!  Do you hear me?  I need to do my job right now.  I’ve got places to be and demons to slay.”

Spike’s tone changed from playful to painfully serious.  “Why don’t you do your job then?  Why not just kill me?”

“Huh?”

“Come on Buffy!  I love you!  You hate me!  I want to kiss you and you want to kill me!  So why won’t you?”

Buffy let go of Spike’s hands and stepped away from him.  “You’ve lost it!”

“Oh have I?  I think you’re the one who’s lost it, sweetheart!”

“Me?  I’m not the one in the alley here begging for my death!”

“And I’m not the one who broke down in hysterics this afternoon when she thought that her most hated enemy was a big pile of dust!”

Buffy’s jaw dropped at his accusation.  “You are completely insane!  I would never . . .”

Spike grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back up against the wall.  “Stop it!  Stop lying to me!”  He kissed her full on the mouth and pressed his body up against hers trapping her between himself and the wall.

Buffy was so shocked she didn’t know what to do as his cool mouth tried desperately to explore hers.  She opened her lips to protest but only found that it gave his tongue the entrance he’d been waiting for.  For that brief moment she was helpless against the wall, helpless against him.  She gave up and let him kiss her enjoying the feel of his mouth on hers.

Her hands traveled up to his chest where she clutched the front of his tee shirt.  Bunching the fabric in her fists, she pulled him closer and then violently tossed him across the alley.

Spike smashed into the dumpster and landed in a heap on the ground.  Buffy bolted.  She ran as fast as she could to get away from what had just happened. 

Buffy’s feet pounded the pavement as she ran down the street not sure where she would end up.  As she turned a corner she noticed the street sign read Revello Drive.  She had run all the way home and hadn’t even noticed.

Digging into her pocket for her keys she slowed and made her way up the steps of her house.  As she tried to fit the key into the lock Buffy started to cry for the second time that day. She could not deal with this.  She could not accept what she had just let him do to her.

*  Why?  Why do I let him get to me?  Why don’t I just stake him and get it over with?  *

Buffy’s fingers fumbled with the key and she dropped them on the porch.  Then she saw a white hand with black nail polish reached over and pick up the keys.

Spike fit the key into the lock on the door and opened it for her.  Buffy slowly lifted her head and looked up into Spike’s face.  She opened her mouth to speak but no words would come.

He reached out his hand and wiped away the tear that had just escaped from her eye.  Leaning in close he gently kissed her forehead and stroked her hair.  “One question, Slayer.  Would you have let me in last night or would you have kicked me out into the morning light?”

The power of speech returned to her suddenly and she replied quietly.  “I would have let you stay.”

Spike stepped inside the house and tugged her hand gently to get her to follow him inside.  He led her into the living room.  “Would you have let me stay on the couch?”

Buffy’s eyes were wide and still clouded with tears as he led her over to the couch and motioned for her to sit with him.  “Yes, I would have let you stay on the couch.”

Buffy sat down next to the leather-clad vampire and studied him.  In the five years she had known him, he had been so many things.  A deadly opponent, a reluctant collaborator, a thief, a stalker, a protector and a love sick admirer.  She thought she was able to deal with him and all the faces that he wore, but lately she had been unable to reconcile why an evil demon such as Spike could be so good.  The way he was looking at her just then was scaring her more than if he had just announced that his chip had malfunctioned and he was about to rip her throat out and eat her.

Spike hesitantly reached up and smoothed her hair away from her face and again wiped away the remnants of her tears.  Tilting her chin up to look into her eyes his expression became very serious.  “If I had asked you, would you have let me stay upstairs?”

In barely a whisper Buffy replied.  “I don’t know.”

Spike’s fingers wandered onto her shoulder where they began to slide the strap of her tank top off onto her bare arm.  “Yes you do.  You know exactly where you would have let me stay.”

Buffy closed her eyes and an image of her and Spike up in her bedroom doing some very un-slayer like activities washed over her like a heat wave.  Her face flushed pink with embarrassment and then she felt Spike’s cool lips began a torturously slow assault on her shoulder and neck.  Every kiss and lick made her pant in anticipation.

“Answer me, Slayer.  Where would you have put me for the night?”

Buffy bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut.  She did not want to answer that question.  She didn’t need him to know what she would or wouldn’t have done.  *  Why am I letting him do this?  *  His mouth was at her ear gently kissing and biting her tiny earlobe.  “Answer me.  Please . . . Buffy.”

Buffy turned her face towards his and opened her eyes.  Looking straight into his sky blue eyes she tried to think of a witty comeback, an insult, a lie, anything.  Finally, she said it and meant it.  “I would have let you stay anywhere you wanted to be.”

This time it was she who kissed him on the mouth her tongue searching for his. Spike responded in kind letting his tongue duel with hers.  He shrugged out of his leather duster and let it fall onto the floor by the couch.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer.  Breaking the kiss briefly he held her face in his hands.  “Where will you put me for tonight?”

Buffy said nothing as she grabbed the back of his head and resumed the embrace that he had interrupted.  Spike moaned in agreement and broke the kiss only briefly again to remove his black tee shirt to reveal his “well muscled” chest.  Buffy’s short fingernails raked tiny scratches on his chest as he gently pushed her down on the couch.

A little voice in the back of Buffy’s brain was screaming at her now. 

*  This is wrong, Buffy!  You cannot do this with him.  He will never leave you alone ever again.  Once you let him do this he will chase you until the end of time and you will never be able to escape.  *

Buffy gasped as the thought reached her.  *  He will never leave you alone ever again.  *  She fought the urge to kick him off of her body and thought for a moment.  *  Good.  He’ll never leave me alone.  That means I’ll never be alone again.  And I need him right now.  I need him.  *

Spike’s mouth was on her neck and his hand was in her hair.  In between kisses he panted with desire.  “I need you too, Buffy.  I need you too.”

*  Oh God!  He read my mind!  *

Spike smiled wickedly and continued to make his slayer moan underneath him.

Spike squeezed in between Dawn and Giles at the bar.  They looked as if they were done with their "blossoming onion"?  “Oh my God!  They put it back on the menu?  Brilliant!  Are you two going to finish it?”

Giles looked at Spike and then looked at the fried onion.  The watcher suddenly remembered Spike and the Wheatabix and a mug of warm blood.  He felt his stomach churn.  “No, go right ahead.  I’ll be in the men’s room - vomiting.”  Giles slipped off the bar stool and rushed over to the restrooms.

“Fabulous, all the more onion for me.  How about you, Bite Size?”  Dawn smiled at how excited this vampire was getting over a stupid barroom snack.  “Knock yourself out, Spike.”

She watched Spike munching on the onion and felt that something just wasn’t right.  And then it hit her.  “Hey!  Where’s Buffy?”

“Dammed if I know.  Last I saw she was bumping and grinding on the dance floor over there.”

Dawn started to get really worried now.  “What are you talking about?  She dragged your butt outta her over a half an hour ago.”

Spike’s mouth filled was with onion as he looked at Dawn in confusion.  “Huh?” was all he could manage to say.

“You just left with her.  You said something that pissed her off as usual and she pulled you outside.  She’s been gone almost forty minutes.”

“That is ridiculous!  I’ve been in the game room playing pool since I last saw you.  I haven’t even talked to Buffy tonight!”

Dawn was pissed now.  What the Hell was Spike trying to pull?  “But I saw you right over there . . . oh crap!”

Spike swallowed another mouthful.  “What?”

“I’ve gotta find Alex.  Where did she go?”

“Who’s Alex?”

Dawn searched the club for Alex’s Asian girl form and finally she decided it might be better just to yell for her.  “Alex!”

A tall lanky red head in a blue tank top and leather pants turned around.  “Yes?”

Dawn looked at her disappointedly.  “Oh no.  Sorry, I was looking for a friend.”

The red head began to shrink and morph into the dark haired demon girl with the now familiar red eyes.

Spike gaped.  “What the …”

Alex smiled at the teenager.  “No Dawnie, it’s me.  What’s up?”

Dawn grabbed Alex’s arm and pulled her off to the side.  “I think I know where your brother is.”

Alex’s eyes darted around the room.  “Where?  Oh my God, where?” Dawn pulled on Alex’s arm and dragged her to the door.

Spike got up and followed the two girls, calling after them.  “What the Hell is going on?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy felt high.  Spike’s hands were everywhere on her body at once.  She could feel the vibration of his low growl rumble through her entire body.

His hands pulled her tank top down to reveal her breasts and she whimpered as his cool mouth descended upon her left breast.  Gently he suckled at her erect nipple teasing it with his tongue.

She became acutely aware of his growing erection pressing up against her thigh as he grinded into her.

Buffy grabbed his hair and pulled his head up from her chest.  Staring back at her were Spike’s eyes and what she saw in those blue eyes wasn’t evil or violent or dirty – it was just pure desire and love.

“Spike?”

“Yes, luv?”

“Let’s go up stairs.”

Spike rose and helped her to her feet.  He then lifted her up into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist.  As he held her and began to kiss her mouth again they were both unaware of the three people standing in the dark on the front porch watching them through the large front window.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dawn blinked in disbelief.  “I do not believe I’m seeing this!”

Spike let a low growl escape from deep in his throat.  “I don’t care who that git is.  He’s dead!”

Alex tugged on Spike’s jacket trying to hold him back.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!  No killing!  No killing!”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike carried Buffy towards the staircase kissing her neck as he walked.  Buffy opened her eyes just then and saw the one thing she never thought she’d ever see.  In the mirror in the front hall she saw two people.  She and Spike were reflected back at her.

In complete confusion she gasped.  “Oh my God!”

With a loud crack the front door busted open to reveal Dawn, Alex and a very pissed off vampire.  “Sorry Charley!  That’s my slayer you’ve got there.  I suggest you put her down or else I’m gonna turn you from and incubus to a succubus with one yank!”

Buffy jumped out of Charley’s arms and stepped away from the creature who just a moment ago was about to take her upstairs for a roll in the hay.  She stared in horror as the Spikish features melted away to reveal a dark haired young man with glowing red eyes who looked about twenty-one years old.  He looked a lot like Alex only he was much taller, over six feet at least.

Charley backed away slowly from Spike and lifted his hands in the air.  “Hey!  Whoa man!  Relax!  I was only giving her what she wanted!”  Spike growled fiercely at the incubus and took a threatening step towards him.

Something inside Buffy’s heart broke and she flew through the air pouncing on top of Charley.  She pummeled him violently all the while insulting him.  “You sick, miserable, demented, twisted, bastard!  I will kill you!”

Spike grabbed Dawn and placed her protectively behind him as they watched this scene unfold.  Spike would go to Hell before he let anything happen to the little one on account of some horny demon.

*  The Slayer will take care of this loser.  *

Alex leaped forward and yanked Buffy off of her younger brother.  It took all of the succubus’ strength to restrain the furious slayer from literally punching Charley’s head off.

Charley wiped the blood from his nose and looked at.  He began to giggle hysterically at the sight of his own blood.  Spike walked over and picked the incubus up by his shirt.  “What the hell are you laughing ‘bout sex monkey?”

Charley turned his attention towards his sister and the still struggling slayer.  “Why’d you stop her, Alex?  Why’d you stop me?  I was gonna go out with a bang not a whimper.”

Tears welled up in Alex’s eyes as she stared at the demented young man who was her brother.  “Charley!  Damn you!  You were going to rape her and then make me kill you!  You know the law.  I had to stop you!  I couldn’t – I just couldn’t kill you!”

“Alex!  I would never do that to you!  Why do think I picked her?  I came here ‘cause I knew I could find the Slayer in this God forsaken town.  I was going make love to her and when we were done, I would let her see me for what I truly am.  Then she would have put me out of my misery.” 

Spike shook his head.  “ ‘Suicide by Slayer’.  Well, ‘A’ for originality.”

Charley’s eyes overflowed with the tears he’d been trying so hard to contain.  Buffy stopped struggling in Alex’s arms and listened to the cries from the shape-shifting demon before her.

Charley looked at Buffy plaintively.  “You can still end my suffering, Slayer.  I know you’ve got weapons around here somewhere.  There’s a stake in your coat over there.  Those work on us too, you know.  We don’t burst into dust, but you can stop the beating in our broken hearts.”

Alex blinked away her tears and whimpered at her brother.  “Oh Charley!  What has happened to you?”

“I can’t take it anymore Alex!  We have no place in the human world and we have no place in the demon world either.  We’re over!  Extinct!”

Alex shook her head.  “No!  No we’re not!  We just need to do things differently.”

Charley laughed at Alex again.  “Bull shit!  I can’t change my nature, Alex!  Rachel leaving me proved that point quite well!”

Alex tried to reason with him.  “That’s because you weren’t honest with her from the beginning!  We cannot hide behind the glam with them anymore.  They don’t like it.”

Charley lifted his chin towards Buffy and smiled.  “She did.”

Buffy slipped out of Alex’s arms and let herself sink to the floor.  Covering her eyes with her hands she shook her head in disbelief of what she was hearing.  The truth of what had just happened had come crashing down around her.  Everyone knew what she had done, how would she ever live this down?

Dawn rushed over to Buffy and put her arm around her.  “Buffy?  Buffy?  Are you O.K?”

“He’s bloody off his rocker!  Get him outta here.”  Spike pushed Charley towards his sister.

Alex motioned to her brother to come closer.  “Come on Charley, it’s time to go home.”

Giles, Tara, Willow and Anya walked through the broken front door of Buffy and Dawn’s house.  Giles saw Buffy on the floor with Dawn and rushed over very concerned.  “Buffy!  What’s wrong?  What happened here?”

Anya examined the doorframe.  “It’s all right Buffy.  Xander will fix the door for you.”  Tara and Willow glared at Anya and hushed her.  “What?  He’ll do it for free!”

Buffy snapped back into reality.  She had to tell them.  As much as she hated to do it, she had to accept the consequences of her actions in all of this.  She had to tell them the truth.

Buffy looked at Giles and then pointed to Charley and started to stutter out her confession.  “He, he was - he looked just like . . .”

Spike interrupted Buffy’s speech.  “He looked just like Riley!  Yeah, good old soldier boy come back to sweep the Slayer off her feet again!  Isn’t that right lover boy?”  Spike grabbed Charley by the back of the neck and pinched – hard.

Charley hissed in pain.  “Yeah!  That’s right.  I looked like Riley!”  Spike squeezed again.  “Now what do you say to the lady?”  Charley rolled his eyes at Spike.

Alex crossed her arms and scowled at him.  “Charles Pierre Laurent!  Apologize to Buffy or else I will let the vampire make you really wish you were dead!”

Charley cleared his throat and winced again as Spike put more pressure on his neck.  “I’m very sorry, Ms. Summers.  I did not consider the consequences my actions would have on your feelings.  Please accept my apology.”  Charley looked to Alex.  Can we go back to Malibu now?”

“No Charley.  You’re going home.”

“That is home!”

“No.  I’m sending you home to Mother.”

“What?  Alex no!  I can’t!  She’ll put me in therapy – again!”

Spike shook Charley and pinched him one more time before letting him go.  “Newsflash Sex Offender!  You are in desperate need of therapy!”

Alex took her brother’s arm roughly.  “Tough shit, Charley!  I did two decades in therapy to get as normal as I possibly can be.  Apparently you didn’t listen to a damn thing Dr. Freud had to say.”

Tara interrupted.  “Freud?  The Freud?  You were patients of Sigmund Freud?”

Charley rolled his eyes again.  “He was full of crap!  Come on Alex!  When have you ever had penis envy?”

Alex twisted Charley’s arm.  “Look!  There’s no more arguing here, little brother.  You’re going home and that’s that!”

Charley suddenly regressed into acting like a spoiled two year old.  “Oh please, Alex?  Please?  I won’t be bad anymore, I promise!  Just don’t send me to Mother.  She’s gonna be so mad!”

“Honestly Charley!  You’re two hundred and thirty seven years old and you’re acting like an infant!  Suck it up and deal!”

Alex pulled him towards the mirror in the front hall.  She placed her hand on it and said a few words in a language which none of the group could understand.  The mirror seemed to turn to liquid and swirl around in a circular motion.  There was a flash of light and Alex turned to her brother.  “Now Charley, go home.  Tell Mom to call me on the cell when you get there.”

Charley tried one last time to persuade Alex not to send him away.  “Alex. . . please.  I . . .”

Alex grabbed Charley’s hands.  “I’m doing this because I love you.  I don’t want to see you or anyone else get hurt.  If you love me Charley, you’ll go.”

Charley hung his head in shame.  “I love you, Alex.”  Alex reached up and grabbed her brother’s neck.  She pulled him in and kissed his forehead.

Charley wrapped his arms around Alex and hugged her.  “Bye, Alex.”  With that Charley stepped into the spinning vortex of light and disappeared through the looking glass.

The group stared at the mirror in astonishment and Alex’s cell phone rang.  Alex answered on the first ring.  “Hi Mom!  He’s there?  Great, I know.  I’ll call you tomorrow to confirm or deny his version of the story.  Love you too.  Bye.”

Willow was amazed.  “They have cell phones in other dimensions?”

Alex didn’t understand.  “Huh?  Not that I know of.”

“Well, then where did you send him?”

“I sent him home - Manhattan.”

They all stared at the mirror again.  Willow thought a moment.  “Teleportation spell?”

Alex put her cell phone away.  “Yep.  Sure beats waiting in line at the airport.”

Willow pleaded with Alex.  “You’ve gotta teach me that one.”

Giles helped Buffy off the floor and hugged her protectively.  “Thank God that’s all over.”

Willow approached Buffy and rubbed her arm gently.  “Buffy?  Are you sure you’re going to be all right?  You don’t look so good.”

Buffy shrugged and shivered.  “I think I just need a really long shower and some time alone.”

“Are you sure ‘cause we can stay and take your mind off the whole ‘Demon in Riley’s clothing’ thing.”

“Thanks, Will, but I really, I’m fine.  I just really need to be alone right now.”

Willow pulled her best friend in for a hug.  “OK, but we’ll talk about this tomorrow.  Try to get some rest.”

Giles went over to Buffy and hugged her again.  “I’m just happy you’re all right.”

“I’m fine, Giles.  Go home to your books, I know you’re dying to do some follow up research.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“Yes.  But in a good way.”

“Good night, Buffy.”

Tara hugged Buffy and then grabbed Willow’s hand to lead her out the door.  “Bye Buffy.”

Anya stood in front of Buffy and hugged her awkwardly emulating what she had seen the others do.  “I’ll send Xander over tomorrow to fix the door.  For free.”

Buffy laughed at her.  “Thanks, Anya.  For everything.”

Alex pushed past Spike to reach Buffy.  “Slayer.  I can’t thank you enough for helping me find him.  I am so sorry he hurt you.  I promise you he won’t be doing that to anyone else for a very long time.”

“He didn’t hurt me, he just freaked me out – a lot.”

“I think he did hurt you, Buffy.  Take care of yourself and if you ever need the help of a shape shifting sex demon . . .”

“You’ll be the first one I call.”

“I’ll hold you to that promise, Alex.”  Giles called from the broken doorway.

“Goodbye, Buffy.”  Alex extended her hand to the slayer.

Buffy grasped her hand and shook it.  “Goodbye, Alex.”

Alex patted Dawn on the head and turned back to look at Buffy and Spike.  “Better keep your eyes on this one.  She’s gonna break hearts someday.”  Alex followed the watcher out the door.

Spike gently placed his hand on Buffy’s shoulder.  “Buffy?  Are you sure you’ll be all right?”

Buffy flinched at his touch and turned away from him.  “Dawn.  You really should get ready for bed.  I’ll be in the shower.”  Buffy turned and silently walked up the staircase.

Spike looked to Dawn.  Dawn could see the hurt and disappointment on his face.  She started to say something but Spike stopped her by raising his hand and shaking his head.  “Just don’t tell the Scooby gang what really happened.  They’ll probably try to blame me for it.”

“But it wasn’t your fault.”

“Yeah, but the Slayer thinks it is.”

Spike walked out on the front porch and watched as the girls piled into Giles’ red convertible.  Giles and the succubus were exchanging telephone numbers and email addresses.

Alex put Giles’ business card into her backpack.  “Mr. Giles, you can call me with any questions, any time, really I don’t sleep much.”

“Thank you, it will be such a help to have an experienced consultant in matters of translation.”

Willow waved at Alex.  “And you need to get me that teleportation spell too!”

“O.K. Willow, I will translate it for you.”

Giles shook the succubus’ hand.  “Good night, Alex.”

“Bye.”

Giles got into the driver’s seat and pulled away down the street.

Spike walked down to the sidewalk and approached Alex.  “Hey!  Alex, is it?  Can I talk to you?”  Alex nodded yes to the vampire.  “O.K. demon girl, I need to know something.”

“And that would be?”

“Why did he pick me?  I mean why me of all people, why would he use my image to do that to the Slayer?”

“He didn’t pick you.”

“Come again?”

“We don’t choose our partner’s fantasy for them.  Whatever Charley did to her was what she fantasizes about either consciously or subconsciously anyway.”

“So you’re telling you’re telling me that Buffy secretly wants me to . . .”

“Make love to her?  Yes.  But she probably didn’t know that until it almost happened.”

“With your God damned brother and not me.”

“Yeah, wow!  That must have been really weird for you to see.”

“Weird and bloody infuriating!  I guess that’s why they call you sex demons.  Your evil mission is to mess up everyone’s love life!”

“Yeah and yours is to cause as much pain as possible to human beings until you get your sorry undead ass staked!”

“Good point.  But I’m not like that anymore.”

Alex laughed.  “A good vampire?  Hah!  That’s a laugh!”

“Hey!  Don’t bloody laugh!  I haven’t killed a human being in over two years!”

“Why’s that?  Somebody curse you?”

“Well, sort of . . . long story.  Point is I love her!  Everything I do, I do so she can have a better and longer life!  And your bloody brother just fucked up the only chance I ever could have had!  She’ll never even consider me now!  Did you see the look on her face?  She was even more disgusted with me than usual!”

“Hey!  I’m sorry fang boy, but who ever said life or love was fair?”

“No one, but just once - just bloody once I’d like to know what it means to love and be loved back - at least by someone other than a lunatic anyway.  But then on the other hand that makes perfect sense, because you’d have to be crazy to love a creature like me!”  Spike turned on his heel and stalked away from the succubus on the sidewalk.

Alex shook her head.  “Issues, issues, issues.  This whole town needs therapy!”

Alex got into her car and pulled out her cell phone.  She pressed the new speed dial she had just programmed in for Rupert Giles.

“Hello?  Mr. Giles?  This is Alex.  I’m sorry to bother you, but I was just thinking about the location spell we did earlier today.  I mean this place is crawling with demons, right?  Why not a few more of my kind running around?”

She paused to listen to Giles stutter his way through a dinner invitation and then responded.  “Sure, I’m free now.  Do you know of anyplace where we can get a decent slice of pizza?  Great!  I’ll pick you up in a half hour.  See you.  Bye.”

Alex smiled to herself and checked her hair in the mirror.  She blinked her eyes and changed them from red to green.  She smirked at her reflection.  “Cute, British and smart . . . my kinda guy.”  She put the car in drive and sped off into the night.

She didn’t notice the blond slayer sitting on the roof in her bathrobe, still flabbergasted at the conversation Alex had just had with Spike.

          Dawn sat on the couch in the living room watching television.  She could hear Buffy moving around up stairs.  Dawn couldn’t help but wonder where Spike was.  Did he find a place to stay?  Was he as freaked out as Buffy was?

Dawn couldn’t shake the image of Buffy kissing the demon that had looked like Spike.  She had been smiling and happily letting “Spike” carry her up the stairs.  It was so weird.  Buffy had always hated Spike or tolerated him anyway, but she’d never given Dawn any reason to think that she might actually like Spike’s attention, until today.

Buffy ran down to the front door carrying three two by fours, a hammer and some nails.  She viciously pounded the front door shut securing the wood in place so that no non-vampire demons could get into the house tonight.

“Dawn, I’m going out to patrol for a little while.  Please go to bed at a decent hour.”

Dawn looked at her sister who was obviously in full Slayer mode.  “OK Buffy, but call if you’re gonna be really late.  I’ll get scared if I wake up and you’re not home.”

“I’ll call, I promise.”  Buffy ran over and kissed her sister on the forehead.  “Bye, sweetheart.”

Dawn watched her older sister leave through the back door and turned her attention back to the television set.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike stood in the pile of rubble that was his former “home”.  It was all gone.  There was nothing left but a bunch of stones and the cover to the tunnel underneath where the old crypt had been.

He sighed and walked towards the wooded area next to the cemetery.  He was relieved to find his car was still hidden by a large oak tree covered in fallen branches.

*  At least now I have somewhere to sleep in the morning.  *  He opened the trunk and began to move the weapons and other belongings to the back seat so that he would be able to fit inside the trunk comfortably.

A rustling sound nearby startled him.  He grabbed his biggest ax and swung it around to face the oncoming stranger.  A hand cam out of the dark and grabbed the ax from his grip.

“You’re getting slow in your old age, Spike.”

“Slayer?”  Spike turned to face Buffy as she sat herself down on a nearby tombstone and examined his ax.

Buffy looked up at Spike and then at his car.  “So, whatcha doin’?”

Spike stood in awe of her.  Not believing that she was there let alone trying to engage him in conversation.  “I’m making my bed.”

“No, really . . .”

“Really, Slayer!  Have you seen what they did to my crypt?”

Buffy made her patented ‘Eww Face’.  “So you’re staying in your car?”

“Yeah, trunk’s not so bad.  I’ve been in worse places.”

“What if someone steals it during the day and takes off and you end up at the beach or something?”

“Well, I’ll chance it for tomorrow and then I’m officially house hunting.  Do you know of a good real estate agent?”

Buffy shook her head no and stared back at the vampire.  She was wearing the strangest expression.  She looked as if she were at a loss for words.  A very strange sight for Spike to see, indeed.

“So Slayer, what are you doing here?”

“Looking for vampires to slay, but no such luck.  The undead are really dead tonight.”

“Yeah well, you should have seen them last night.  They all pulled up a chair and enjoyed the fireworks.  Like the bloody fourth of July it was.”

“Sorry I missed it.”  Just then a vampire sprang out from his grave right underneath Buffy’s feet and grabbed her legs pulling her down underneath him.

“What is it with you vampires?  You’re always trying to get in between my legs!”  Spike laughed involuntarily and watched as Buffy head butted the vamp stunning him.

Spike pulled the vamp off of the Slayer and held him back from the Slayer.  “Excuse me, mate!  We were trying to have a conversation here!”

“Spike!  Back up!”  Buffy swung the ax and severed the vamp’s head reducing him to a cloud of dust that blew right into Spike’s face.

“Oh God!  All over the leather!”

“Nice ax, Spike, very handy.  Thanks.”  Buffy handed the weapon over to Spike.

“Anytime, Slayer.”

Buffy turned to walk away in the opposite direction when she stopped and looked back at Spike putting the ax into the back seat.  “We have a two car garage.”

“What?”

“We have a two car garage and mom only had the one car.  So there’s room for another car.”

“And that means what?  I can park there?”

“Yeah, you can park there.  So your car doesn’t get stolen or anything.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Once they arrived at the house on Revello Drive Buffy went inside and opened the automatic garage door.  Spike pulled the Desoto in right next to Joyce’s Camry.  His car looked like an anachronism sitting next the Toyota.  Buffy shut the garage door and stood by the entrance to the house.

Spike got out and started to clean out the back seat.

“Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“ You can stay in here – on the couch.”

Spike was wary of this new and improved Buffy being so nice to him.  “Really?”

“Yeah, and hurry up I’m tired.”

Spike followed her into the living room where they found a sleeping Dawn on the couch in front of the TV, which was playing an NSYNC concert.  Spike shuddered at the sound.  “That music.  It’s awful.”

“I know, but you know what’s worse?”  Buffy turned of the VCR and pressed eject.  “She has it on tape and she plays it over and over again.”

“Here I thought I was evil.  That is pure evil.”

“I hate it when she does this.  She waits up for me to come home from patrol, but she’s always dead asleep and it’s hell to put her to bed.”

“Here, I’ll do it.”  Spike gathered the teenager up in his arms.  Dawn mumble and sighed in Spike’s arms.

Sleepily Dawn asked Buffy.  “Buffy?  Where’s Mom?”

Buffy answered the sleeping child with a whisper in her ear.  “She’s in Heaven sweetheart.  Mommy’s in Heaven.”

Dawn shifted slightly in Spike’s arms and answered Buffy.  “OK.”

Spike followed Buffy up the stairs to Dawn’s room where he laid the young girl on the bed.  Buffy fluffed up the pillows and removed Dawn’s socks.  Spike pulled the covers up over Dawn’s body and Buffy busied herself with taking out her barrettes and smoothing out her long brown hair.  Dawn stirred in her sleep and continued her imaginary conversation with Buffy in her dream.  “If Mommy’s in Heaven who will take care of us?”

Buffy didn’t know what to say.  She hated having to accept that their mother was gone and that they had to take care of themselves from now on.  Buffy sighed and was about to answer when Dawn continued asking questions.  “Spike?  Will you take care of us now?”

Spike knelt down by the side of the bed and smiled at this innocent little girl’s question to him.  “Sure, Nibblet.  I’ll take care of you.”

“Spike?”

“Yes?”

“I really don’t mind it when you call me that anymore.  I just pretend I don’t like it.”

Buffy smiled as she watched her sister have this sweet conversation with Spike.  He looked so interested in hearing her next dreamy question.  “You have to tell Buffy.”

“What do I have to tell her?”

“You have to tell her you’re not a vampire anymore.”

Spike’s brow furrowed with concern.  “But I am, Little Bit, I am.”

“Not on the inside.  Just tell her.”

Spike didn’t know what to say to that.  How could explain to her that he could never stop being what he was.  “Go to sleep, Dawn, go back to sleep.”

“O.K., Spike.”

Spike patted the girl on the head and left the room without another word.

Buffy kissed Dawn on the forehead and followed Spike out.  She saw him descend the stairs and take off his leather coat leaving it on the coat rack.

Buffy took off her boots and put them in her bedroom.  She had two choices – she could either o to bed or she could join Spike down on the couch.  As much as she hated to admit it she wanted to find out why it was that she did what she did with Charley earlier that evening.  She needed to know why she was having these weird fantasies about Spike.  Was that all they were or was there something more to it? 

When she went down to the living room she found Spike sitting in front of the television watching “Haunted Castles of England” on the History Channel.  He had a blank expression on his face and as she approached the couch he yawned.

It was so weird, she’d never seen a vampire yawn – it was almost too human.  Maybe she just never spent enough time with any vampires to get to know the everyday nuances they might possess.  Even when she’d been with Angel she’d only been with him for short periods of time and they were usually fighting together or kissing or looking longingly at each other or breaking up.  She never saw Angel sitting on a couch watching TV like any other guy.

Buffy noticed that Spike had taken off his boots and his socks.  She walked over to the couch and sat beside him.  “So you don’t paint your toenails black?”

Spike glanced down at his feet.  “No.  Nobody ever sees my feet.  I barely ever see my feet.”

“I see your feet.”

“Yep, there they are . . .”

Buffy kept staring at Spike’s feet not wanting to look him in the face.  She needed to say things to him and she wasn’t sure she could bear to look in his eyes.  “You know I never thought I’d ever say this, but I kinda miss the days when things were simple.”

“Simple?  Has it ever been simple?”

“Yeah.  Me slayer.  Slayer slays demons.  Period!  God!  I wish I could go back to the day when my biggest problems were you and Drusilla!”

Spike got a faraway wistful look on his face.  “Yeah…good times, eh?”  He thought a moment and snapped out of his bloody daydream.  “Do you really miss those days?  I mean Dru and I were a big pain in the ass.”

“Yes but easy compared to say the Master or Adam or Glory.  All I had to do was drop a church organ on your head.”

“Yes, but the Master’s dust, Adam’s dead and Glory’s gone.  I’m still here.”

“You’re still here.  Why are you still here?”

“You said I could stay tonight.”

“No, I mean I should’ve put a stake through you years ago.”

“This conversation is getting more pleasant by the second.”

“No.  There has to be a reason.  There has to be a reason why I haven’t dusted you.”

“My devilish good looks?”

Buffy ignored his attempt at humor.  “There has to be a reason why I was so upset when I thought you were a dust pile this afternoon. . .”

“That’s why you were crying?”

Again Buffy ignored his response to her speech.  “I’m good at what I do you should be long gone.”

“OK slayer, you’re startin to freak me out.  Maybe I should go.”

Buffy grabbed his arm.  “Wait!  I’m having one of those things.  What do you call them an a Stephanie?”

“You mean an Epiphany?”

“Yeah, one of those!  Don’t you get it?  We’re the same.”

“What?”

“Same coin, different sides.”

“Buffy!  Snap out of it!  You’re just tired.  You need some sleep.”

“No!  I get it!”  Buffy looked up to the ceiling as if to address the Powers that be.  “I finally get it!  Slayer - Vampire.  Good – Evil.  Alive – Dead.  Soul – Soulless.  Young – Old.  Female – Male.  And we fight.  Boy, do we fight!  But no one ever wins.  It’s a stalemate.  We cancel each other out.”

“So now that you’ve come to this startling revelation, what does that mean?”

“This has to end.”

“Should I start running for my un-life now?  ‘Cause you know I can’t fight you anymore thanks to the hardware in my brain.”

“No.  I don’t want to fight with you anymore.  I just have to accept this thing between us.”

“Oh so now you agree we have a thing?”

“Yes.  And it’s always been there hasn’t it?”

“I think so.”

“I’m tired, Spike.  I’m so tired.”

“I know, pet.  You should go to sleep.  It’s been an exhausting day.”

Buffy moved towards Spike.  He flinched away slightly not sure if she was going to try to kiss him or kill him.

“Relax.  I just want to lie down.”

“Alright then.”  Buffy pushed Spike down onto the couch until he lay flat on his back.  Spike tried to speak.  “Um…”

She placed her finger to his lips.  “Shh…”  Buffy lay down on top of Spike and covered them both with the pink blanket.  She laid her head on his chest.  Spike wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tightly.

“Spike?”

“Mmm?”

“You told Dawn you’d take care of us.”

“I did.”

“Are you sure you can accept a challenge like that?  We are very high maintenance.”

“Yes, Slayer, I know.  Spike gently stroked her hair and listened to her yawn on his chest.  He kissed the top of her head and whispered to the sleeping slayer. “I accept.”

A sleepy Dawn Summers descended the stairs in the quiet house.  It was nice not to have Buffy yelling at her to come down to breakfast for once.  Dawn went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of orange juice and intended on heading back to bed when she noticed two sets of feet sticking out from under the pink blanket on the couch.

“What the . .?”

There was her sister curled up on top of Spike sleeping quite peacefully.

*  Well it looks like they kissed and made up.  Here we go again.  All aboard the love train.  First stop, vampire central station.  *

Dawn slowly approached the sleeping couple and gently poked her sister.  “Buffy?”  She whispered.  “What’s going on?”

Buffy raised her head and squinted at her little sister.  “I fell asleep.”

“Duh!  On top of a dead guy!”

“Shh…don’t wake him.  I bet he’s real cranky in the morning.”

Buffy slowly extracted herself from his grip and place his hand gently on his chest.

Dawn looked at the sleeping vampire curiously  “Is he stiff?”

“No!  He’s undead.  Not a corpse.”

“So, what’s up with this Buffy?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are we going to keep him?”

“He’s a vampire, Dawn, not a puppy.”

“Well, it’s not like you haven’t chained him up before.”

“That was different.  He was different then – evil.  Well more evil than he is now.”

“He doesn’t look evil at all sleeping like that.  He kinda looks…”

“Normal?”

“Yeah.  Except that whole not breathing thing.”

“Normal everyday dead guy.”

Spike opened one eye and peered over at the Summers sisters.  “Ladies, just because I’m dead doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.”

Dawn jumped a foot in the air out of fright.  “Geez!  Spike!  Freak me out much?”

“Always, Nibblet.”

Buffy laughed.  “Go back to sleep Spike.  I’m going to get breakfast ready for her.”

Spike smiled at the two young women gazing down at him. “Oh and can we dispense with the dog analogies.  I’m not a bloody dog from the pound.”

Dawn reached out and patted Spike’s head.  “Go to sleep Spike.  Good boy!”

Spike growled.

Dawn giggled at him.  “You’re right Buffy.  He is cranky in the morning.”

“Come on Dawn.  Let’s go.”

Spike turned over and buried himself under the blanket.  As Buffy and Dawn left the room Buffy could hear him muttering.  “Bloody high maintenance women.  Mission impossible…bloody hell, what have I gotten myself into?”

Buffy smiled and whispered to Dawn  “I think we’ll keep him.”