William laughed at the bright innocence of the little girl's question. "Well, as a matter of fact, I do,"

he replied. "I have two dogs named Belle and Sam. One's a black lab and the other's a poodle."

 

He had never been so instantly enchanted by someone at any time in his life as he was now by this

tiny angel with the soft ringlets and pixie face.

 

She had approached the stage with such confident aplomb that her obvious panic attack had surprised him. Watching as she turned to look for her mother, his heart had begun aching for her, and only the thought that it might frighten her had kept him from jumping down off the  stage to speak with her privately.

 

Of course, when he'd gotten a good look at her mother, he'd been doubly eager to join them. Small and slender, the woman had a fantastic figure and a face that could  stop traffic, and he'd felt a jolt of envy for whoever had been fortunate enough to marry her.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted one of the staff members getting ready to shoo the little girl away from the microphone. Holding up one hand to stop him, he  sat down on the very edge of the stage. "Did you want to ask me anything else?"

 

The little girl turned again to her mother. "Do I, Mommy?"

 

To William's immense delight, the woman looked down at her daughter with wide eyes and shrugged, apparently out of ideas.

 

The child looked back up at him. "No, thank you," she said politely.

 

Her mother stood up and was preparing to lead her back to their seats. William wasn't ready to see them go just yet. Before they got more than a few feet away, he spoke up. "Do YOU have any pets?"

 

They both stopped and turned around. The child was smiling, and her mother looked surprised.

 

"I had a fish," the little one said, "but he died."

 

"I'm sorry to hear that."

 

"We had a funeral for him and buried him in the back yard," she continued, as though there weren't 500 other people in the room listening. "Mommy was going to flush him down the potty but that was icky, so she didn't."

 

The crowd tittered with amusement.

 

"Really?" William prompted her, thoroughly enjoying the conversation. "Was it a big funeral?"

 

"No. Just me and Mommy."

 

He noted the lack of 'Daddy' being mentioned. Of course, that didn't really mean anything. Daddy might just have been at work during the funeral services.

 

"Mommy says maybe I can have a kitty next year...when I'm bigger.  What?" she added, looking up at her mother, who was tugging lightly at her hand to try and urge her to surrender the floor to someone else.

 

Glancing over at the staff member he'd stifled a moment ago, William could see that he was getting irritated with the delay, something the child's mother must have noticed as well.

 

Reluctantly, he got to his feet. "Well, I hope you get your kitten...."

 

'Mommy' leaned over and said something in the girl's ear.

 

"Okay," she whispered, then looked back at him and filled in the blank in his comment. "Melanie."

 

"Melanie," he repeated, smiling as she was pulled along by her mother, still looking back over her shoulder at him.

 

He waved one hand at her, then turned to the other side of the stage and smiled at the person waiting to use the microphone.

 

 

******************************

 

 

Buffy sat next to her daughter, still amazed by what had just occurred.  She tried to follow what was happening on stage, but she was reduced to simply staring up at the man who had so easily untied Melanie's tongue.

 

The child had never in her life...not once...been so free and openly chatty with anyone other than Buffy herself.

 

But she and this actor had somehow...the only word Buffy could come up with for it was 'bonded'. He had been patient and low key, avoiding the mistake that so many adults made with shy children; trying to cajole them into joining the fun by being overly loud and cheery, or by hinting broadly about all the good things they were going to "miss out on" if they didn't try a little harder.

 

Another round of ear ringing applause startled her out of her silent reverie. William St. James was leaving the stage, and was about to be replaced by another cast member of the show.

 

Melanie turned and tugged on Buffy's sleeve. "Mommy. I need to go potty," she whispered, squirming in her chair.

 

Wondering just how long THAT situation had been building up, Buffy quickly grabbed her hand and led her out of the main hall and towards the ladies room.

 

She was holding Melanie up to the sink to wash her hands when she heard a suspicious growl. Meeting her daughter's eyes in the mirror, she asked, "Was that your tummy?"

 

Melanie giggled and nodded. "I think it's hungry."

 

"I think you're right," Buffy replied, tearing off a piece of  paper toweling to dry two little hands before they could use her skirt for the same purpose. "Why don't we see what we can do about it."

 

 

******************************

 

The dealer's tables only had a few people milling around them, and the buffet area was completely deserted.

 

Loud bursts of laughter emanated sporadically from the  large meeting room.  Melanie had no interest in attending the other cast member's portion of the show, so Buffy  steered her towards a table by the large picture windows, in view of the snack bars and buffets.

 

Keeping one eye on her child, Buffy ordered a late lunch for them both. She paid for the food and received her change, then turned to go back to the table.

 

She nearly dropped the tray she was holding when she saw who was standing next to the table talking with Melanie.

 

 

******************************

 

 

Finding himself with not much to do after his appearance on stage, William had quickly gotten bored. It would be a while before his presence was required at the photo op or the autograph signing, so he managed to slip away from the people he jokingly referred to as his "handlers". 

 

There was no one in the food service area to be concerned with, and he stopped at a vending machine and fed change into it. Collecting the candy bar he'd selected from the bottom bin, he tore the wrapper off and took a bite, savoring the chocolate.

 

He glanced around the room, then did a double take back to one of the tables.

 

Sitting quietly, her little legs swinging freely back and forth, was the cute charmer he'd met at the question and answer session.  Melanie.

 

He smiled, delighted for some reason to see her again. Unable to stop himself, he tossed the remainder of the candy bar in the trash and headed towards the table where she  sat.

 

She was looking out the window, and he could see her lips moving. When he got closer, he heard her counting under her breath and realized that the window was overlooking the freeway and she was counting cars.

 

Not wanting to startle her or attract any other kind of attention to himself, he kept his voice low. "Hi, Melanie."

 

The little girl turned and smiled. "Hi."

 

Strangely, she didn't seem all that surprised to see him.

 

 

Ordinarily, Buffy would have been instantly suspicious and on high alert at the sight of a relative stranger

approaching her child and engaging her in conversation.

 

Both she and the public school system had spent a great deal of time and energy hammering home the lesson 'Don't talk to people that you don't know and do NOT...under ANY circumstances...go anywhere with them!'

 

Secretly, she had always harbored a deep fear that Melanie's crippling shyness would derail whatever lessons she had assimilated, preventing her from causing a scene should anyone try anything. It was one of the many worries that went hand-in-hand with raising a child in an increasingly dangerous world, a world that seemed to prey on them in a brutal fashion.

 

These troublesome thoughts, along with the other day to day fears, were the monsters in her closet that sometimes prevented her from sleeping.

 

She worried about everything; whether Melanie was  getting proper nutrition...or if she was getting enough rest. Was she being teased in school?  And what about her teeth? Were they going to come in straight, or might she need braces someday? 

 

Was she too warm?  Too cold?  Sleeping too much? Not sleeping enough?  Whenever she caught a cold, Buffy fretted that it might turn into something worse. 

 

Childhood disease was very high on her anxiety scale, even though she knew that the odds of Melanie developing one were in her favor.  Logically, she knew it...but in the  middle of the night, the time when all her worst fears began to run through her agitated mind on an endless loop...she still feared it.

 

She worried about leukemia, juvenile diabetes, multiple sclerosis, encephalitis, meningitis, undetected heart disease, immune system deficiencies,  influenza, hepatitis,  fatal allergic reactions,  tetanus, epilepsy, and every virus known to man.

 

Even the lesser evils...such as chicken pox...scared her.

 

Since she couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her baby, she was afraid that she sometimes overcompensated for it with her extreme protectiveness, leaving her with a guilt trip a mile wide over the notion that it had perhaps contributed to Melanie's compulsive shyness.

 

Buffy also worried about fires and earthquakes, about killer bees and tainted food, about car crashes and stray dogs.  She felt perfectly justified in that last one because Melanie...who was sometimes shy to the point of tears with people...had no qualms whatsoever about animals. She  would fearlessly approach any that she came across, confident that every four legged creature in the world was as gentle as  she was.

 

And, ironically, she worried about whether she worried too much.

 

Of course, she HAD to do all the worrying...since Angel did none of it.

 

******************************

 

 

"Why are you all by yourself here?" William asked.

 

"I'm not. Mommy's getting lunch. See?"  She pointed over his shoulder.

 

He turned around to look, and sure enough, Melanie's mother was standing at the cash register paying for  her purchases. No father around at all, it looked like.

 

Sticking his hands in his front pockets, he leaned against the table. "So...did your Daddy come along with you today?" he asked casually.

 

Melanie shook her head solemnly. "No."

 

She was frustratingly brief in her reply.  If he wanted more information, he'd have to dig for it.

 

He definitely did.

 

"He stayed home, then?"

 

"I guess so," the little girl shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe."

 

Not helpful at all.

 

He was trying to come up with another way of finding out her mother's marital status when Melanie solved the problem for him by herself.

 

"My daddy lives somewheres else," she informed him.

 

"Oh. I get it."  Although he was happy to hear that  Melanie's mommy might be available, he felt a pang of guilt for being pleased that this beautiful child's home was broken.  But he comforted himself with the thought that anyone stupid enough to leave this little girl and her mother really didn't deserve them in the first place, and surely they were better off without him.

 

He decided to change the subject. "Are you having fun today?"

 

"Oh, yes," she said, giving him a smile that melted his heart. "I liked talking to you."

 

William returned her smile. "Well, I like talking to you, too," he said sincerely.  "Are you going to be staying for the party tonight?"

 

She nibbled her lower lip for a moment. "What time is it at?"

 

"I think it starts at 9:30."

 

Melanie shook her head, making her curls bounce. "I have to go to bed at 8:00," she informed him.

 

"Even on Saturday?" he asked.

 

"Uh-huh. I can only stay up late on Wednesday."

 

He felt another tug at his heart. "Mommy lets you stay up for the show?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Does she like it, too?" 

 

Melanie crossed her arms in front of her on the table, and laid her cheek against them. "She's only ever watched it  once," she said, yawning. "She says mostly TV isn't very good anyway."

 

William chuckled. "Well, she's right about that," he said.

 

"Sometimes she watches movies with me."

 

"Oh, yeah?  What's your favorite movie?"

 

She thought about it for a moment. "The Little Mermaid." she said. "What's yours?"

 

He imitated her thoughtful look. "Promise you won't laugh?"

 

Melanie nodded.

 

"The Wizard of Oz," he stage whispered.

 

"Oh, I like that, too!"

 

 

******************************

 

 

 

 

An hour into the photo op, William's face was getting tired of smiling. He had counted seventy-five people so far, and Lord  only knew how many more were on the other side of the curtain.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

William scooped the little girl up into his arms and settled her on his hip. "Look straight ahead," he instructed her. "Do you see the little red light?"

 

"Uh-huh," Melanie whispered.

 

"Look at that...and smile. Come on, pixie...show those pretty little teeth of yours. That-a-girl."  He glanced at the photographer.  "Got it?  I want a copy of this one."

 

Reluctantly setting Melanie back on her feet, he spotted Buffy standing to one side and grinned. Crooking his forefinger in a "come on over here" gesture, he beckoned her closer.

 

Assuming that her job was merely to shepherd her child out of the photo area, she moved closer...and was more than just a little shocked when his hand darted out and caught hers.

 

"Your turn," he said softly.

 

Buffy tried to dig in her heels. "Oh...no. I...you've made a mistake. This was just for Melanie. I didn't...you know...sign up for it."

 

But William didn't seem to care. "That's all right," he assured  her, not letting go of her hand.

 

Melanie stood next to them, her little arms wound around each other like a peppermint stick, and her fingers interlaced. She  said nothing, but her smile shone more brightly than ever.

 

"Listen...I really can't," Buffy demurred, trying again to loosen his grip.

 

"Why not?"

 

Embarrassing as it was to admit, she had no choice. "Because," she said flatly, "you charge an awful lot for a picture with you..and I can't..."  Her voice trailed off when she saw a slight flush on  his...amazingly beautiful...cheekbones.

 

"You know," he said quietly. "I don't set the prices for those things. My agent takes care of all that. How much is it?"

 

When Buffy told him, he whistled low. "I see what you mean."

 

She highly doubted it. Money was surely the last thing this man had to concern himself with. Although not an expert in the area, she was pretty certain that he was collecting a heavy paycheck once a week.

 

"Still," he shrugged. "Do it for me. I'll pay for it."

 

Buffy looked down and saw Melanie gazing up at her with her "What are you waiting for?" face. Resigned, she nodded and turned to face the camera...and nearly jumped out of her shoes when she felt William St. James slide his arm around her waist and close the small distance between them.

 

"Relax," he whispered in her ear. "I don't bite...hard."

 

Relax?  How very funny.  There wasn't chance in the world that she was going to be able to relax. Between the hard  strength of the arm encircling her waist, and the warmth of his breath stirring tendrils of her hair, Buffy was about as far from relaxed as she could be possibly be.

 

Somehow, she managed to smile until the shutter clicked.

 

"Now...one of all three of us," he announced, picking Melanie up once more and holding her between the two of them.

 

Buffy's eyes met and held his gaze...

 

And the photographer snapped the picture.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

After making sure that he would be seeing them again at the autograph signing, William placed Melanie on her feet, leaning over to say goodbye.

 

As they left the photo area, he signaled for his assistant to come over before the shoot continued.

 

"See that her money is refunded, and make sure I get  copies of all three pictures."

 

"What's her last name?"

 

William stared at her for a moment, then chuckled. "I'll have to get back to you on that one."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Buffy was signing her own autograph on a credit card receipt, glad that she hadn't maxed out her limit.

 

She received the thin paper bag that contained the 8X10 photos Melanie had chosen. Several of them were still shots from the series, while others were publicity shots.

 

At $15.00 a shot, it was an expensive little sack she handed to the little girl looking up at her with shining eyes.

 

Oh, well...what was money, anyway?

 

 

               **********

 

"For goodness sake, Melanie.  How many t-shirts do you

need?"

 

"How many are there?"

 

              **********

 

"You don't need that, honey. You don't have any keys."

 

"We can buy some for me."

 

              **********

 

"Put that book down!"

 

"Why, Mommy?"

 

"Never mind why. Just put it back where you got it and let's go."

            

              **********

 

"What is it?"

 

"It's Captain Amara's space ship thingy."

 

"Well, I...wait a second...you have to put this together yourself. It's a model."  

 

"Don't you know how?"

 

"No. Do you?"

 

"No."

 

"Moving along, then."

 

 

             **********

 

 

"Is it a glass for dollies?"

 

"No, sweetie. It's a glass for grown ups."

 

"How come it's so small?"

 

"I...I guess we're not a very thirsty bunch. Let's get this nice mug instead, okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

                  **********

 

"No. No toy weapons."

 

"But, I didn't ask you for one."

 

"Well...I'm just heading you off."

 

                 **********

 

"What did she say, Mommy?"

 

"It'll be more valuable someday if you keep it in the box and don't play with it."

 

"Oh.  That's not a very good toy."

 

                  **********

 

Sitting in the auditorium again,  Melanie lay stretched out across two folding chairs, her head pillowed in her mother's lap.

 

A pop from the P.A. system startled them both. "In a  moment, we'll begin calling for one row at a time to line up against the far right wall. You'll need your green voucher and whatever you want signed ready.  Mr. St. James has an early call for tomorrow morning, so we need to expedite things in order for him to satisfy everyone.  When your turn comes, please step up to the table and hand him   what you would like him to sign. Please don't attempt to engage him in conversation or ask for personal contact, such as a hug. He will write nothing but his name.  When your item is signed, please leave the area immediately so  the person in line can approach.  Thank you all for your cooperation."

 

"Who was that, Mommy?"

 

"I don't know, baby. The person in charge, I suppose."

 

Buffy helped Melanie sit up. The little girl yawned and rubbed her eyes with her fists.

 

Catching her mother's glance, she quickly said, "I'm not tired."

 

"Yes, I can see that," Buffy replied, amused.

 

Five minutes later, the rules were repeated.

 

"She doesn't sound very nice," Melanie said softly, displaying the first tell-tale sign of nervousness that Buffy had seen in hours by staring down at her sandals and folding her hands together, lacing her fingers in a "Now I lay me down to sleep" way.

 

"She's just doing her job, baby," Buffy said, sliding one arm across the girl's shoulder and pulling her closer. "Don't fret about it."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Melanie peeked around the side of the curtain that divided William St. James from the rest of the crowd,

and Buffy gave her daughter a gentle nudge to get her feet moving.

 

William looked up and saw her. "Come here, pixie," he grinned, patting the table.

 

One teeny baby step at a time, Melanie walked forward, clutching a 8X10 photograph in her little hands.

 

He was a little perplexed at her manner. For some reason it looked as though all her natural ease with him had disappeared, leaving him back at square one.

 

"Melanie?  Is something wrong?" 

 

She shook her head, laying her picture down on the table.

 

"You sure, luv?" he persisted.

 

This time, she nodded, pushing the picture across the table.

 

Not liking this one bit, he looked at Buffy. "Did something happen?"

 

She could have told him what was wrong, if his "people" hadn't been sitting there on either side of him.

 

"Melanie...why won't you talk to me?" he asked.

 

Her eyes darted briefly to the woman sitting on William's right...an attractive lady with dark hair, large brown eyes, and a forbidding expression...then back to William.

 

"She said I can't," she whispered.

 

"Who said you can't?"

 

"The rules lady."

 

"The rules...the WHAT lady?"

 

Melanie dropped her eyes and stared at the table. "The rules lady. She said don't talk to you or hug you, or anything."

 

Comprehension dawned. "Oh, THOSE rules," he nodded. "Don't you worry about that, pixie."  He leaned forward and whispered, "The rules lady works for me."

 

"She does?," Melanie whispered back. "She talks really loud."

 

"Really?  I'll have to look into that."

 

"William," the dark haired woman interrupted. "It's getting late.  You need to wrap this up."

 

Melanie's eyes rounded with surprise, and she turned to look at her mother. "That's the rules lady, Mommy. I  don't think she's sick."

 

"Sick?" William cut in. "Why would you think she's sick?"

 

"I asked Mommy why she sounds so cranky, and Mommy said she probably has PMS."

 

He bit down on the inside of his cheek to control his

laughter, then looked at the woman sitting beside him."

 

"Well, Dru?" he asked. "Why DID you sound so cranky?"

 

A sour look was his only answer.

 

Looking back at Melanie, William made an "Uh-oh" face and winked at her, making the little girl giggle. He slipped the photograph of himself out from under her fingertips and uncapped a shiny gold marker.  When he began to write, Melanie watched the glittery letters appear and her eyes  rounded in amazement.

 

"Ooh...that's pretty," she said, smiling.  "My markers don't do that."

 

Signing his name with a flourish, he held out the pen to  her along with the picture.  "You take this one. I have lots more."

 

With an irritable huff of air, the woman beside him opened a zipped up portfolio full of  8X 10 color photographs and located another gold marker. She placed it in front of William and gave Melanie a look that clearly said "Your time is up!"

 

Melanie handed both the photo and and the pen to her mother for safe keeping.  Placing both her small hands on either side of her mouth so no one else could see, she whispered, "Thank you very much."

 

William copied her gesture. "You're very welcome."

 

"Melanie?"  Buffy said quietly from the sidelines. "It's time to say goodbye, now."

 

Slipping her hand into her mothers, Melanie gave William one last smile.  "Bye."

 

He sat watching them for a moment, then jumped to his feet.

 

"What are you doing?" Dru hissed, grabbing at his sleeve.

 

He ignored her and turned to the person waiting for his signature. "Can you wait just one moment?" he asked, as politely as he could considering his urgency to leave. "I forgot something...uh, it's...personal. Promise I'll be right back."

 

Permission was granted by a starry eyed smile, and William shook off Dru's hand and went after Buffy and Melanie.

 

 

*********************************************

 

 

She had gotten about fifteen feet away, pulling along her reluctant little girl who was definitely dragging her heels, when she felt a light touch on her shoulder.

 

Buffy was so surprised that she nearly gasped out loud.  He had  people waiting for his attention.   Why was he chasing after them?

 

"Is something wrong?" she asked.  Maybe he needed his pen back.

 

"No. Well, yes."  William said, then knelt beside Melanie. "Hey...you know that business about no hugging?"  When the child nodded, he shrugged. "Well...I'd really like one anyway. D'ya think maybe I could

have one of yours?"

 

Melanie looked up at her mother, who imitated William's shrug and released her hand.

 

Buffy watched carefully to see how Melanie was going to deal with this.  She wasn't a 'throw herself into someone's arms and hang on  tightly'  type of child, except with her mother and her grandmother.  She'd

tried that with her father when she'd been younger, and had been put off too many times in consideration of a new suit or a freshly pressed dress shirt, to continue the practice.  Now, if an embrace was appropriate, she would place her arms gently around the person's neck and wait until THEY pulled HER close.

 

Melanie did it just that way, then surprised her mother all over again by tightening her little arms and pressing her cheek against William's.

 

A few seconds later, he pulled back and dropped a kiss on that same soft cheek. "I'm very glad you came today," he said. 

 

"Me, too," Melanie replied in the same quiet tone.

 

Buffy chose that moment to glance back over at the autograph table.  The fan waiting there looked content enough, but the dark haired woman William had referred to as 'Dru' seemed anything but pleased.  If looks were capable of doing harm, she and Melanie would be in a pickle right about now.

 

Funny, how she didn't much care.

 

Forcing down a childish impulse to set a thoroughly bad example for her daughter by sticking out her tongue, Buffy just smiled. This seemed to piss the woman off even more, making Buffy wonder just who she was...a possessive business manager keeping an eye on her client, or a jealous girlfriend?

 

The woman's eyes narrowed as William stood up and took hold of Buffy's arm. "Can I talk to you?" he asked, leading her a few feet away from Melanie, who was surprisingly content to let it happen.

 

"Uh...I...yeah, okay," she said uncertainly, stumbling along behind him. "What?"

 

He stood silently for a moment, seemingly gathering his thoughts. "I don't want to sound like I'm feeding you a line," he began hesitantly, "but...I'd really like to see you again. Both of you."

 

It was literally the last thing she'd expected to hear. A little bemused by his words, she looked up at him with a slight smile tugging at her lips. "You would?"

 

"Yeah."  He stepped in front of her, cutting her off from Dru's increasingly nasty glare. "I don't suppose you'd consider staying for the party tonight?"

 

She automatically shook her head. "I didn't..."

 

"I know," he cut her off. "You didn't sign up for it. I don't care. Won't you just stay as my...guest?"

 

It was a tempting offer.  She hadn't attended an evening function of any kind since she couldn't remember when. Nowadays, her party life was pretty much confined to the sort of galas that were thrown at Chuck E. Cheese.  Even those were few and far between due to Melanie's shyness and hesitance in making friends.

 

But taking a look at her daughter changed her mind.  Melanie was sitting in a chair next to the door, and her eyes were getting sleepier and sleepier.  She'd been up at the break of dawn, after a restless night spent in anticipation of the days festivities.  There was no way she would make it through any kind of after hours party, a party that probably wasn't really suitable for her anyway.

 

"We really can't" she demurred. "Melanie's exhausted and I'm kind of wiped out, too.  But thank you for the offer."

 

Expecting it, he didn't try to persuade her. "Can I call you?"

 

Wondering if she was doing the right thing, Buffy nodded. "Sure." She groped around in her bag until she found a small card case. Flipping it open, she handed him a business card. "That's my work and home phone," she explained.

 

William examined the card. It was pale pink with scalloped edges, and in dark pink lettering were the words, "Melanie's Garden"

 

He read the words out loud, then gave her a curious look. "What's this?"

 

"I own a children's boutique in the mall. Melanie and I painted the front windows with a little picket fence and flowers," Buffy explained, then shrugged. "Melanie's Garden."

 

William smiled, delighted. "It's perfect," he said softly. "It suits both of you.  I can't wait to see it."

 

Dru cleared her throat noisily, making him frown. "I have to...."  He glanced back at the table.

 

"I know," Buffy said. "I have to..."  She nodded at Melanie, who smiled when she saw William and Buffy looking at her.  Her small hands were folded in her lap, and she was trying hard to keep her eyes open.

 

"So, I'll call you?" he murmured.

 

"Okay."  She nearly leapt out of her skin when his hand ran down her arm and found hers, then gave it a firm squeeze.

 

He hesitated one more time. "Buffy?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

Leaning close, he whispered in her ear,  "I'm not gonna try it, but I want you to know that I've never wanted to kiss a woman as badly as I want to kiss you right now."

 

Then, with that statement clearly designed to upset her equilibrium, he squeezed her hand once more and went to say goodbye to Melanie.

 

Buffy slowly opened her hand and looked at the small piece of paper he'd pressed into it. Written in a messy scrawl was his name and....a telephone number.

 

 

**********************************************

 

 

Buffy's heels clacked on the concrete floor of the parking garage.  She was weighed down with all the bags and a small bundle who couldn't walk another step.

 

When she set the child down next to the car to search for her  keys, Melanie stared down at the autographed picture she'd refused to hand over. "Mommy," she asked. "What does it say?"

 

Buffy twisted the key in the lock, hoping it wouldn't stick and refuse to turn. "His name, baby," she replied absently, turning the key again with a harder motion.

 

"No....this part."  Melanie held out the picture as Buffy finally got the door to unlock. Buffy took it and examined it, surprised to see that he'd indeed written more than just his name on it:  To Melanie....a bright, particular star.  With love, William St. James.

 

 

"What does it mean?"  her daughter asked after hearing the message read.

 

"It's from a play by William Shakespeare."  Buffy scooped the child  up and deposited her in the booster restraint, then secured the buckles.  "And it means he likes you...and he thinks you're a very special little

girl."

 

Melanie was silent for a moment, then said, "He likes you, too."

 

Buffy smiled. "Oh, really?  And just how do you know that?"

 

Her daughter shrugged and yawned. "Because you're nicer than the rules lady."

 

 

************************************************

 

 

She was in the kitchen boiling spaghetti when the phone rang.

 

Melanie was sitting at the kitchen table, coloring in the correct responses on the homework her teacher had assigned.

 

All day Sunday and Monday, Buffy's heart had thumped wildly in her chest when the telephone rang.  William St.  James hadn't called,  and she wasn't sure whether she was disappointed or relieved.

 

She grabbed the phone, holding it between her shoulder and her ear as she stirred spaghetti sauce. "Hello?"

 

"Mrs. Conner?  This is Jean Ashton...Melanie's teacher."

 

"Oh, hi,"  Buffy stepped around the partition that separated the dining area from the kitchen. "It's Summers," she said softly. "I'm divorced."

 

The teacher apologized, then explained the purpose of the call. "I wanted to let you know that something unusual happened in class today."

 

"What's that?"

 

"Melanie participated in share time. In fact, she volunteered."

 

Buffy was almost speechless.  Neither Melanie's kindergarden teacher or Miss Ashton had ever been able to get the child to participate in 'Share Time', a modern equivalent of what Buffy had known as 'Show and Tell'.  In fact, when her kindergarden teacher had all but insisted on it, the child had burst into tears and Buffy had been called to come and get her.

 

A brief conversation with the equally upset teacher had resulted in Melanie's never being made to have 'Share Time' again.  The message had been passed along to her first grade teacher as well, and so far there'd been no problems.

 

"Are you sure you're calling the right house?" Buffy asked.

 

Although she'd been quite serious, Miss Ashton laughed. "I was shocked, too," she said. "Melanie stood up in front of the class and told them that she had been to some sort of fan convention for  'Outpost: Space' over the weekend?"

 

"That's right," Buffy affirmed, mentally blessing William St. James all over again.  Even if the man never called, she'd always be grateful to him for his kind attention to her daughter, which was still obviously

affecting her.

 

"And she said she'd met the show's star?  And had her picture taken with him?"

 

Buffy confirmed all this happily.

 

Then the other shoe dropped.

 

"I didn't become concerned about what she was saying until the end when she told us...."

 

Buffy's nerves tightened. "Told you what?"

 

"Well...to be truthful, Ms. Summers...Melanie told the entire class that William St. James was going to be her new...daddy."

 

 

 

 

Buffy nearly dropped the phone. "She didn't!"

 

"Oh, but she did."  Miss Ashton sounded highly amused by the whole incident, an emotion Buffy desperately wished she could take part in.  "Very casually, too."

 

Groping around the corner for the small dishtowel she kept hung on the over door, Buffy wiped the sweat off her forehead.  "Well...I'll...I'll talk to her and...see if I can...uh...you know..." Buffy stammered, feeling like a fool. "Just...I'll take care of it, Miss Ashton. I...thanks for calling."

 

She took a deep breath and went back into the kitchen. Melanie was still sitting at the table, but she had put down her crayon and folded her arms in front of her.  Her chin rested on the back of her hand as she watched her mother dump spaghetti into a colander and place the boiling pot back on the stove.

 

"That was Miss Ashton," she announced, then turned to face her daughter. "Melanie...why in the world did you tell the class that William St. James is going to be your daddy?"

 

No point in beating around the bush.

 

Melanie shrugged and stared at the paper in front of her. "Because."

 

Buffy waited, but there was nothing further forthcoming at the moment. She was afraid that this was going to be one of those times where she would have to pry the answers out of her daughter with a crow bar.  "But you know that's not true."

 

Melanie's eyes darted towards the kitchen. "Is dinner ready, Mommy?"

 

"Don't change the subject, Melanie Anne," Buffy replied sternly.

 

"But I'm hungry."

 

"Melanie!"

 

"But I am, Mommy."

 

He'd proved that the first time she'd asked him to bring their crying baby from her bassinet to be nursed, figuring that Melanie should be nurtured by both her parents.  He had jerked away from her hand with a grunt, telling her that he had to be up early for court the next day, and it wasn't like there was anything HE could do for the baby anyway, so what was the point of them both being up? 

 

Buffy had stared at his back in disbelief before dragging her still sore body out of bed and scooping up the baby herself.  She took her into the living room and nursed her in the antique rocking chair her

mother had given her, silent tears slipping down her cheeks and falling onto the knitted pink blanket she'd wrapped Melanie in.

 

Of course he had apologized the next day, and she had forgiven him and tried to get on with things...but she'd never really forgotten.  His indifference towards the baby wasn't malicious or mean...it was simply

that he had no time for anything but his own goals.  He worked, or so he had told her, long hours; sometimes well into the night. Days went by  when she and Melanie barely saw him.  He rarely returned phone calls

or replied to messages she left.

 

Buffy was, for all intents and purposes, a single parent long before it was made official by the courts.  She'd led a protected life, sheltered by her parents; she'd married young and then became a mother herself before her marriage had time to solidify.  But, sometime during the months of loneliness she had been subjected to by Angel's unswerving ambitions, she had learned to cope. She was the only stable influence in her child's immediate world, and she had to grow up and step into that role fully.

 

Gradually, she had begun to pull away from Angel.  The independence she'd been forced to learn took root inside of her and began to grow, and it wasn't a terribly long time before she knew that she no longer needed him.  She could do it on her own if she had to....and she did.

 

Still, she put off doing anything permanent, perhaps hoping that he would somehow realize what he was missing and would straighten up and be the husband and father that he was in fact as well as theory.  She gave him chance after chance, and he would make half hearted attempts, but nothing  lasted.

 

It wasn't until he missed his daughter's third birthday party that Buffy  finally decided to put an end to the farcical playacting they were doing.

 

He had called her mid-afternoon, promising to be home on time for the small gathering that Buffy had put together.  She had given him detailed instructions to swing by the Toys-R-Us and pick up the tricycle that she had already chosen and left there to be assembled.  There were several other gifts in the trunk of his car, gifts she had left there so Melanie could see her Daddy coming in the door with them in his arms.

 

Five o'clock, the designated time for the little party, came and went. Five thirty...five forty-five...five-fifty...passed by on the clock.  At six, Buffy called his office and was told he'd left for the day nearly four hours ago.

 

She tried his cell phone, but only got a connection to his voice mail. She called two or three of his colleagues at the firm, and was told that they hadn't seen him for most of the day.  She had no trouble divining the lies she was being fed.

 

Putting her mother in charge of the guests, she had jumped into her car and sped downtown to the toy store.  The trike was still there. Angel had never showed up for it.

 

Buffy raced through the store, throwing items into a cart.  She'd handed the cashier her credit card, then called home and explained what had  happened to her mother.

 

The small party had been as successful as it could be, all things  considered.  Buffy had spent the evening after everyone had left plotting her next move.  She had rehearsed everything she planned to say to Angel when he showed up, but he hadn't come home at all that night.

 

The next day, Buffy had retained a lawyer and began the painful process of ending her marriage.

 

*******************************************************************

 

 

"You dreamed?" Buffy repeated. "You had a dream that William St. James was your real daddy?"

 

Melanie shook her head, making her curls bounce. "No. My NEW daddy," she clarified, still playing with her fork. "He came to our house and said he was taking us home to be with him. He said that he loved us most of all,  and we were supposed to be together."

 

It was so simple in her eyes, Buffy realized.  She saw her  situation as a mistake, a cosmic glitch. Someone, somewhere, had screwed up and had assigned her the wrong father. An easily fixed problem. All she needed to do was find the right one.

 

And, according to her dream, she had done just that.

 

"Melanie," Buffy said reasonably, "you already have a daddy."

 

"That's okay," the little girl said promptly. "Alicia has two daddies. So does Brooke, and Samantha, and Jacey, and...."

 

Buffy held up one hand to cut off the flow of names assigned to Melanie's class mates from broken homes. "But, honey...you...I mean we...we don't even really know him that well. Those other

little girls mommies married the new daddies because they fell in love with them."

 

"You can fall in love with him...can't you?"

 

Looking down into the child's guileless eyes, Buffy wasn't sure how to answer the question.  She had a sneaking suspicion that it would be amazingly easy to fall in love with William St. James...what

was not to love?  He was handsome and sexy, good natured and friendly, and he seemed to like children. He certainly had liked Melanie.

 

Actually, the man seemed....perfect.  Which meant there had to be something wrong with him.

 

"Look," she forged on, still trying for 'reasonable', "you can't go around telling people that he's going to be your daddy, no matter what you dream about.  It's pretty unlikely that we're ever going to see him again, except for Wednesday nights on channel....."

 

The phone rang suddenly, startling them both.

 

Buffy swallowed hard, wiping her damp palms on the seat of her jeans as she stood up.  Melanie was watching her, still fiddling with her spaghetti.

 

It wasn't....it couldn't be....it was way too big a coincidence...

 

"It's probably Anya or Willow," she said firmly, picking the names of her employees out of the air. "Maybe...maybe something's wrong at the shop."

 

Melanie said nothing.  Carefully laying down her fork, she took a sip from her milk glass.

 

Buffy cleared her throat and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

 

"Buffy?  It's William. William St. James. Remember me?"

 

She turned around and stared at her daughter, who couldn't have looked more innocent.  "Of course I remember you. How have you been?"

 

"Busy. I'm sorry I couldn't call sooner. I wanted to, but I got  stuck doing re-shoots, and it was a big mess...so...yeah."

 

"I..I understand."  She covered the phone with her hand and mouthed "Eat your dinner" at Melanie.

 

"How've you and Melanie been?"

 

"Oh....fine. Just fine. Really...fine."  Closing her eyes tight, she wanted to scream at how stupid she sounded.  "Would you like to talk to her?"

 

"I'd love to."

 

Silently, Buffy held out the phone and waited.

 

And another miracle was performed by the miracle guy. Usually, she had to chase Melanie through the house to get her to talk on  the phone to anyone but her grandmother.  But all William St. James had to do was call and she was jumping to her feet to  take the receiver.

 

"Hello...Oh, hi....Yes....Fine....Uh-huh....Me, too....I had a  spelling test today.... I don't know.... Sometimes.... Did you like  it?....No....Because....Uh-huh....I'll ask...." 

 

She looked at Buffy. "He wants to know if he can take us to where they make the show sometime. Can we, Mommy?"

 

Buffy leaned against the wall. "We'll see."

 

"She said maybe....Okay....I did too....I drew a picture for you.. Uhhuh...I will....Bye."   She handed the phone back to her mother and went to finish her milk.

 

"Hi..."

 

"Is everything all right?" he asked.

 

"Yeah....I told you. We're just..."

 

"Fine, I know. You don't sound terribly fine, luv. You sure nothing's wrong?"

 

Nothing she was ready to discuss with him!

 

"I'm just tired. Busy day today," she said, falling back on the standard excuse.

 

He didn't sound convinced, but he let the matter drop. "Well, I was wondering...I don't have to work tomorrow. Any chance I could talk you and Melanie into going out with me?  I know a place where

they serve great peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

 

Buffy was too caught off guard to offer up any kind of excuse. "Sure," she heard herself saying. "We'd love to."

 

"Great," he replied casually. "What's your address?"  She could tell he was writing it down by the way he repeated it after her. After promising to be there at exactly 6:00, he instructed her to say goodnight again to Melanie for him.  Then, his voice dropped just a little into a deeper tone. "Do you remember the last thing I said to you the other night?"

 

Like she could forget a comment like that. "Yes," she half-whispered.

 

"I haven't been able to get the thought of kissing you out of my mind," he said. "Do you think I have a chance?"

 

Listening to the husky quality of his voice as he spoke, and feeling the slow tightening of her abdominal muscles in response to it, Buffy would have called it more of a lead pipe cinch, than a mere chance.

 

But she couldn't very well say something like that. "I don't know. Maybe. Probably," she finally admitted.

 

William laughed softly. "Tease," he whispered. "You're driving me crazy."

 

Buffy could relate.

 

"I'll see you tomorrow, luv."

 

"Goodnight."

 

She hung the phone up, then turned to see her daughter looking at her quite seriously.  "Did you fall in love with him, Mommy?"

 

"Of course not," Buffy scoffed.

 

"How come your cheeks are all red?"

 

Buffy spun around and headed for the kitchen, muttering something under her breath about boiling water and steam.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She never managed to return to the subject of Melanie's  indiscreet remark at school.  By the time she got the dinner dishes loaded into the dishwasher, supervised Melanie's bath and dried her hair, then read her two chapter of 'Charlotte's Web', she was too tired to discuss it anymore.

 

After a hot shower, she fired up her computer and entered her days business transactions.  She finished a letter to her mother, and deleted a staggering amount of junk she'd neither asked for nor wanted.

 

When she had her finger poised to click on sign off, she stopped and decided to check the archive for a new story she could add to  the little booklet she was putting together for Melanie.  She found two and printed them, then her attention once again wandered to the adult fiction.

 

An hour later, she signed off and climbed wearily into bed, ready to

sleep.

 

*****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****  *****

 

 

The alarm blared, nearly making Buffy hit the ceiling!

 

Instead of laying there for a few minutes and waking up slowly, she jumped out of bed and headed for the shower....a very cold shower.

 

This promised to be a long...long...day.