Buffy finished buttoning her shirt as she hurried through the wooded pathway back to her dorm, struggling to balance her flashlight in one hand. Her head was spinning and her heart was racing as she tried to calm herself. She hoped that Willow would be out with Xander or something, because she needed to be alone right now, to calm dawn and to sort out what had just happened.

She made it back to Stevenson, looking not too disheveled she hoped, and slid her card in the lock. She opened the door to her room and breathed a sigh of relief, it was quiet, dark and Will’s bed was empty. Buffy collapsed on her bed as her cell phone started to ring.

She ignored it.

It rang again.

She picked it up and saw Spike’s number on the caller ID.

She put the phone back down. She didn’t know what to say to him right now. She knew running out of his apartment like all the demons from hell were chasing her had not been good post, . . . post, . . . well, post very-heavy--foreplay etiquette. She was still on a high from the incredible sensations Spike had coaxed from her and she wished suddenly she was back over there snuggled in his bed, moving beyond the heavy foreplay.

The phone rang again.

She checked. Spike again.

What would she say to him, "Sorry I ran, I really enjoyed that, but I feel like scum because I technically have a boyfriend?"

The phone rang.

She breathed deeply. She couldn’t ignore him; they should talk about what happened, right? Communication made things better.

The phone rang.

She took a deep breath, and picked it up. "I’m so sorry."

"Well apology accepted, babe, did you do something wrong?"

"Angel," Buffy squeaked, realizing suddenly that she hadn’t checked the caller ID before she answered this time. "Wrong, oh, no, I though you were, um, maybe Willow, and we had a, a fight, a really bad fight about a shirt I borrowed and I was just going to apologize." Jeez, Buffy, stammer much? Can you be more obvious?

"Well, you don’t want to be fighting with Willow. Got to keep things peaceful with the roommate. Is she ade some progress. Maybe he’d send her a nice bouquet of flowers tomorrow. And Buffy…should he send her roses? Were roses to overly romantic? Sod that, he was feeling romantic, red roses and a card.

He stopped for a minute. He realized he hadn’t told her he loved her, hadn’t said the words yet. He didn’t want her to think this was just some little fling. She needed to know how he really felt. Should he find her tomorrow, maybe see if she wanted to have breakfast first thing? Or was that too pushy? No. She wanted time. He needed to give her time to talk with Angel, to let him down easy, so she wouldn’t feel guilty anymore. Just the flowers then... He finally drifted off, happier than he’d been in a long time, sure that Buffy was coming around.

<><><><>

Buffy sat on her bed staring at the wall, arms wrapped around her knees. How could she have done the thing she most despised, cheated on her significant other? Regardless of the fact that she and Angel didn’t have the perfect relationship, they had been going out for a while now. She buried her head and felt the tears start to fall. She didn’t know what had come over her tonight, but Angel hadn’t even entered her head once. From the moments Spike’s lips had touched hers, he’d been the only thing she could think of in the world.

She grabbed a tissue, trying to control her tears. She didn’t need to still be crying if Willow ever came home, but they just wouldn’t stop. She thought that she might be in love with him; in fact she knew she was. And it scared her so badly she could hardly breathe. Spike. The handsome, blond headed, blue eyed man, whom she’d watched grow up beside her. He’d always been a little different, always had to do things his way, even if it was the hard way. But underneath, he’d always been good. Good to her, good for her. She wanted to believe she could trust him with her heart and have the fairy tale romance.

But what if she was wrong? Men were so unpredictable. With Angel, she felt comfortable, a friendly affection that she knew would maybe smart a little if he walked away, but no more. With Spike, if he left her, if things didn’t work out, she knew her world would collapse. And she had no guarantee. Her dad hadn’t left, not physically, but the whole time she’d been growing up, she had heard the war between her folks, the extremes of emotion. Some days, they were so wrapped up in each other they almost didn’t know she was there. The next, they hated each other; throwing objects, cursing and fighting. There’d rarely been an in-between, a peace, in their relationship.

Buffy thought back to one of her most poignant childhood memories. She must have been seven or eight at the time. She remembered coming into her parents’ bedroom and seeing her mom sobbing her eyes out. She’d gone to hug her and Joyce had clutched her tightly.

As she’d hugged her mother, she’d whispered, frightened, "Mommy, what’s wrong."

"Oh sweetie, it’s nothing." Her mom had straightened, dabbed at her eyes and struggled for composure. "I’m okay."

She’d pulled Buffy into her arms and as she curled against her, Buffy asked, "Mommy, where is daddy?"

Her mom had half-sobbed as she struggled to respond to the question. "He’s out baby, he’s just not here right now, but he’ll be back soon."

"I miss daddy when he’s gone. Mommy, how did you meet Daddy?"

Buffy could still remember the look on her mom’s face as she’d told her about meeting her father at a dout with Xander or something?"

Buffy cringed, realizing that one’s roommate was probably not the best choice of excuse for expecting a phone call late at night, given Willow was generally in the room with her at this time of night. Fortunately, Angel moved on without pause.

"I just wanted to call to make sure we’re still on for Friday. I made reservations at the new place downtown, you know, the little French restaurant you said you really wanted to try? Quite the waitlist, but turns out the owner’s a fan of the team and he agreed to get us in, no waiting. So you just look pretty and I’ll pick you up at 7:00, okay?"

Buffy sat for a long moment. He’d gotten them reservations at considerable trouble; he already had the evening planned. Tell him you can’t go, tell him it’s over. She couldn’t seem to make the words come out. She wasn’t totally sure that was what she should do anyway. And breaking up over the phone just didn’t seem right. She needed to do this in person, no matter what conclusion she came to.

"That sounds great, Angel. I’ll see you then."

She hung up the phone and checked her voice mails. There were now ten from Spike. She listened to them swiftly, the first few were angry demands for her to pick up, a few insisting he knew she was there, a few more pleading for her to just answer the phone so he knew she was all right, and a final one, asking her to please call him or he was coming over. She composed herself and dialed his number.

"Hello, Spike."

"Buffy." Spike bolted off the bed and began to pace, relieved to finally hear her voice. "Pet, are you okay?"

"I’m fine Spike. I’m at home."

"Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you or scare you. You didn’t have to run away. Buffy, I would have stopped at any time. I-" he paused, his voice breaking. "I’m sorry. I thought you wanted what we were doing."

"Spike, it’s okay." She started blushing as she remembered the way he’d felt against her, that look in his eyes as he’d stared into her soul. "I did want that, I really did. But I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bolt, but I just couldn’t be there anymore. It’s not you, you were," she knew if she looked in the mirror, she’d probably be flushed right now, "you were amazing. But I can’t do that, Spike. I’m dating Angel and you reminded me of that and I realized how wrong it was. I’m so sorry, I should have stopped you, it isn’t your fault. I just need a little time to sort this out, ‘kay? Look. I need to go, I’m okay, you don’t need to worry and," she paused, "it was good. Thank you Spike, for everything."

He realized she’d hung up and Spike banged his head against the wall. Why the hell had he mentioned Angel? He decided having an armful of Buffy must turn his brain to mush. He vaguely remembered the comment, but he’d had no idea she’d react that way.

He threw himself back on the bed. Okay, William, think, think, think. You just had an incredible encounter with Buffy, which she seemed to really enjoy, clearly a breakthrough. She’s upset about Angel, but she’s not totally dismissing you. Time. She said she needed time. Maybe she just wanted a few days to sort things out, break it off with that ponce and then she’d be back... He knew he must be grinning like an idiot as he suddenly realized that he might be very close to having the woman of his dreams. She’d said he was amazing.

He was going to have to thank Cordelia Chase. Seizing the day seemed to have definitely mance in college and their whirlwind romance. Her mom had looked so happy for a few minutes, remembering those times, when everything was good and they were so happy. From that moment, she’d never doubted that her mother loved her father. And strangely, despite her father’s numerous infidelities, she’d seem him watch her mom with eyes that adored her, his Joycie. He’d always made sure they had everything they needed. Everything but his fidelity.

Buffy had watched that love destroy her mother through the next few years of her young life, as the constant back and forth of hate and passion between them had escalated. Her mom had never been able to let go and walk away, she’d just crawled deeper into a bottle, until their twisted parody of love had killed them both. Her parents had passion, fire, desire. When times were good and everything was right, she’d watched them together, entranced. She knew it was the reason her father never walked away, the reason her mother wouldn’t leave.

She’d thought about the day they’d died a lot over the years. She hadn’t been there that day, hadn’t seen what had happened at that hotel, but she could imagine the scene. She knew that spark must have flared between them again, it would have been the reason her father had gone after her mother and jumped in that car, to try to stop her from walking away, from leaving him. She knew from watching them that passion could make you ecstatic…exhilarated…intoxicated. It could also burn, destroy and consume you.

She didn’t think she wanted to love like that, so intensely that she was on a knife’s edge between ecstasy and destruction. Love didn’t have to be that way, it could be calm and quiet, comforting. She thought about the couples she knew, some just starting out, some further along, and knew it wasn’t always that deep and intense. But if she pursued this thing with Spike, they wouldn’t be calm or quiet, she knew that instinctively.

Tonight had opened her eyes. They’d been good up until now, as friends, because they both always sublimated the extremes of the emotion they had inside them. But it was acknowledged now, like a heavy current underlying the waves that could suck her in. She’d felt as though she was drowning in Spike tonight, like he could have asked for anything, done anything to her and she would have acquiesced and been delighted to make her lover happy.

He’d been right, she didn’t feel that kind of passion with Angel and she never would. But she’d never risk the kind of pain she’d seen that could come from it, either. Was it possible to love like that and not have it consume either one of them? Could she ride the knife’s edge and find the pleasure, without the pain? Did she dare take that chance? Or was something more tepid -less intoxicating but safer- a better way to go? She’d thought passion was what she’d been waiting for but she hadn’t really understood, not until she’d felt Spike’s lips on hers, their eyes locked, his revealing his heart and desire as he’d caressed her intimately, how consuming the passion could be.

She lay curled in a fetal position, staring at the clock as it edged later and later into the sleepless night. She needed to make a decision. She had to make her choice, take the chance with Spike or walk away. But either way, she couldn’t play games with either of these men. The one thing she would not do would be to follow her father’s example by torturing those she loved. She was better than that.

She finally gave up and went to shower, knowing sleep wouldn’t come that night.

<><><><>

She came back for her morning classes to find Willow smiling broadly.

"Buffy, look what you got… I bet they’re from Angel. But I didn’t want to be nosy, so I didn’t open the card. Aren’t they gorgeous?"

Buffy looked at the blood-red, perfect dozen roses artfully arranged in a beautiful vase that Willow had set on her desk. She realized she was trembling as she reached for the card and knew as soon as she slid it out that the script wasn’t Angel’s. She turned slightly as she read the card.

______________
Dearest Buffy,

Thank you for last night. I know you need time and space right now, and I intend to honor your request. But I realized I neglected to tell you the most important thing.

Buffy, I love you and I have for the longest time. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and ever will. I promise you that I will always do everything in my power to make you happy, if you’ll only give us a chance.

Forever yours,
William
______________

Buffy tightened her grip on the card. She felt woozy and she thought her heartbeat seemed erratic. Lack of sleep and stress, she was sure that was the cause. How did he know the perfect thing to do, how to say the things she wanted to hear? He really loved her. He wanted to make her happy. He was her William. She folded the card and sat down on her bed, staring at the flowers as if entranced.

"So, what does it say? Are they from Angel?"

Buffy blinked and looked at Willow, then back at the card. "No," she replied softly, "they’re not from Angel."

Willow looked at her harder, noticing for the first time how rough Buffy looked today. "Buffy, you okay?"

"I’m fine, just couldn’t sleep last night." She straightened up, trying to inject some normality into her tone. "The flowers are from Spike. I had a test I did well on and he wanted to congratulate me."

"Woo…that’s a heck of a good job, those sure are gorgeous. That was really sweet of him Buffy."

"Yeah, he’s a sweet guy." Buffy curled up on her bed, her back to Willow, still clutching the card. "I’m going to try to catch a few winks. I really need a nap."

"Sure Buffy, I need to study, but I’ll be quiet."

"Thanks Willow, I appreciate it."

Willow turned off the overhead light and turned on her small study lamp, glancing over at Buffy. She hoped she was going to be okay, she really didn’t look well at all. She settled in to study.

More than an hour later, Willow glanced over and saw that Buffy had turned to face her in her sleep. The card she’d been clutching had fallen from her fingers and now lay on the floor below her head.

Willow stared at the card. She really should pick that up; Buffy wouldn’t want it to get messed up. She softly tiptoed across the room, so as not to wake Buffy, and picked up the small scrap of paper. She didn’t mean to read it, not really, but a few words caught her eye and before she knew it, she was reading the entire message in shock.

Spike and Buffy? Well that certainly explained a lot. Buffy’s weird behavior at her birthday party for one. And she bet the "library" Buffy kept disappearing to, but was never actually at, was really Spike’s place. How long had this been going on? And why was she being so secretive?

She looked again at the sleeping Buffy. Something must have happened recently because Buffy was acting totally out of character and Spike was sending flowers and asking her to choose him. Where was Angel in all this? She really wanted to ask, but she hated to admit she’d been snooping and read the card. She carefully put it down and snuck back to her chair. This required some thought and maybe a little Xander help.

<><><><>

Buffy woke up late on Thursday evening, no closer to a decision, but feeling slightly better for her nap. Her eyes fell on the roses as she sat up and she couldn’t help a small smile.

"You had a couple of phone calls while you were out of it," Willow said, noticing she was awake.

"Really, who called?"

"Well, let’s see. Angel called, just wanted to remind you to be a little dressier than usual for your date tomorrow night." Willow watched closely for Buffy’s reaction, but couldn’t really tell what she was thinking.

"Okay, you’ll have to help me pick something out Will; he’s taking me out to that new French restaurant in town."

"Oh really, for your two month anniversary? Cause you know we all went out for the first time two months ago Friday. Xander and I are going to have a picnic down by the lake."

Buffy’s eyes widened. "I didn’t realize it had been two months."

"Well, you know what they say, time flies when you’re having fun. Bet you’ll probably be getting some more flowers to go with those lovelies on Friday as well."

Buffy looked over distractedly at the roses again. Willow watched her stare at them, then added, "And Spike called for you."

Buffy bushed faintly and refused to look over. "What did he say?"

"He just wanted to see if you got the flowers and if you were doing okay. I told him you were sleeping, but that you liked them."

"Thanks, Willow, I appreciate that."

"He sure did sound happy. You know Spike’s not really the bouncy type, but he sounded pretty excited about something, you know anything about that Buffy?"

"Um, no, he seemed to be fine when he tutored me on Wednesday night." She blushed again, suddenly flashing back to the last bout of tutoring Spike had given her at the end of the evening.

Willow decided to not push the issue. Clearly something was going on and had happened last night. But Buffy was still going out with Angel on Friday. She needed to get to the bottom of this, but Buffy was obviously not going to volunteer the information.

"Willow, will you help me pick out something to wear tomorrow, for my date?"

"Sure Buffy."

"I think I’m going to go for a walk now, I’ll be back before it gets dark."

Buffy walked out the door and began to wander aimlessly around the campus. Before she knew it, she found herself outside Spike’s. He wasn’t there. She knew his schedule; he had a lab right now and wouldn’t be home for another hour at the earliest. She stared at the stairs, then decided to go on up.

She knocked softly and then unlocked the door. She wandered around, randomly picking up objects, straightening the pillows on the couch. She noticed he’d dropped another shirt on the floor and she found a pair of socks halfway across the room. She smiled to herself as she picked things up. He was such a slob sometimes, letting things fall wherever he disrobed. She dumped the clothes in his laundry basket and moved over to sit on the unmade bed.

She lay down in his usual spot, burying her head in his pillow and inhaled his scent. Why was she so nervous about this? Spike was everything she had ever wanted. They didn’t have to be like her parents. They could be more like Jenny and Giles, a truly happy couple if she’d ever seem one. Spike had always reminded her a little of her uncle and she suspected that much like Giles, Spike would always treat her with love and respect. She remembered the intimate scene she’d walked in on. Jenny and Giles had that passion, but they were happy. It could be done.

She couldn’t see Spike running off to other women; he barely even looked at other girls when she was around. She rolled over and looked through the skylight at the clouds drifting across the sky, imagining what it would be like to be here with him, nothing in between them anymore, no Angel, no fears, just her and him. Utter bliss.

She glanced down at her watch. She probably should leave now, he’d be home before to long and she needed to end things with Angel before she started them with Spike. She’d made up her mind; she was going to take that chance.

She moved off the bed and walked over to his desk, writing a very short note thanking him for the beautiful roses and promising to talk with him soon. She hesitated. Should she sign it with love? No better to wait, tell him in person. She decided to sign it just Goldilocks, after all she was rummaging around his house and in his bed when he wasn’t there. She left the note on his pillow and turned off the lights, relocking the door as she hummed happily on her walk back home. She debated telling all to Willow, but decided to hold off. She’d end things with Angel first. She cringed, a special anniversary dinner seemed such a bad time to do that, maybe she should call him tonight. Then she could go see Spike. She felt her heart start to race. Much better plan.

Willow was waiting for her when she entered the room. "Buffy, I think you should call Jenny. She called and sounded pretty upset."

"Is something wrong? Is it Giles?"

"I don’t know, but she sounded like she’d been crying."

Buffy grabbed the phone and dialed the number, wondering what could have possibly gone wrong.

"Hello, Jenny?"

"Buffy? Is that you?"

She could hear the sniffles over the phone. "It’s me, Jenny, what’s wrong? Is something wrong with Giles?"

"I don’t know. I mean he’s all right physically, I guess. Buffy, is there anyway you can come by the house tonight? Or better yet, how about I come and get you? I need to talk to someone…I’m going to pieces here."

"Sure Jenny, I’ll wait out front." She hung up the phone and explained to Willow she was going to go see Jenny, then grabbed a light jacket and walked back downstairs to wait. Jenny arrived a few moments later. Buffy jumped in the car, taking in Jenny’s tear-stained face. She pulled her into a quick hug.

"Jenny, are you okay? Listen, do you want me to drive? I’m not great, but I can do it."

Jenny nodded and they changed seats, Buffy getting behind the wheel.

"How about I head over to that little ice cream stand? You look like you could use some chocolate and then we’ll talk."

Jenny nodded again. Buffy looked at the woman who’d been both mother and friend for years and wondered what Giles could have done to upset her this badly…So much for the happy couple.

She reached their destination and went to get their order, returning with two hot fudge sundaes.

"Jenny, what’s wrong?"

"He’s seeing someone else. I saw them today. At lunch. You know that little pub downtown? Well I hadn’t planned on stopping today, but I had a headache and I decided to break for lunch. We had a big shipment come in today and I didn’t think I was going to be able to get away. Rupert had even called me and asked if I was busy, but I’d told him I wasn’t going to be able to leave the gallery. I guess that’s why he brought her there."

"Her? Giles was with another woman?"

Jenny nodded. "I walked in and saw them at the bar, talking and laughing. I was just about to go over and introduce myself, and then I saw him," her eyes welled up, "reach for her hand, like he does mine, you know, and start stroking it. It wasn’t a friendly gesture, Buffy. I just stood there frozen and then I ran outside before they could see me. I didn’t know what to say to him. So I waited until they came out. I just sat in the car and watched. He walked her over to her vehicle and she gave him something, it looked like her number maybe, and then he kissed her."

Jenny lost it in another torrent of tears. Buffy pulled the weeping woman to her.

"Are you sure it wasn’t just a friendly goodbye kiss? Maybe you misinterpreted it?"

"Buffy, he kissed her for, well it must have been minutes, but it seemed like hours. She drove away and I started to go after him, but I just couldn’t do it. Why would he do this to me? We’ve been so happy the last few months. I thought we’d worked it all out, all those little bumps. I never thought he’d cheat on me. I worried for years about his lack of commitment, but I never though I’d actually see him with another woman. I guess maybe he has a streak of your grandfather in him after all," she finished bitterly.

"Jenny, you have to talk to him. Maybe it was a mistake. Giles loves you."

"Buffy, he didn’t come home at his usual time today. He didn’t answer his phone at the office and he’s not answering his cell. Where do you think he is?"

"Oh Jenny, I’m so sorry. Giles is the last person in the world I would have thought would hurt you. Look, why don’t you go home and rest? I’ll keep trying to track him down, okay?"

"I can’t go back there. I can’t see him, knowing he’s been off with someone else all day."

"Well, is there someone else you could stay with?"

Jenny nodded. "I’m going to a friend’s house. She has a spare bedroom and said I could stay. I’m sorry Buffy, I know you love Giles too. I didn’t mean to unload on you, but you know him, you can understand. How could he have done this? Why would he do this to me?"

"I don’t know, Jenny, but I’ll find out. I’ll call you as soon as I talk to him. Please don’t jump to conclusions, okay?"

"I’m trying not to, but seeing him with someone else, I felt my heart start to break. I though it was real this time, I thought we were going for the whole thing. I though he might be going to ask me to marry him. I caught him checking my ring size last week." She stared out the window as Buffy drove back to the campus. "I thought maybe he was going to surprise me sometime soon."

"Look, just let me talk to him and I’ll call you. Don’t think the worst until we know all the details."

She pulled to a shaky stop in front of the dorm and got out. She gave Jenny one last hug.

As soon as she reached her room, she started trying every number she had for Giles. She could not believe he would do this. He was the one man she’d always counted on, looked up to as an example of what she’d hoped to find. After calling for nearly a half hour, he finally answered his cell.

"Giles. Where have you been?"

"Buffy?" He sounded tired and drained. "Do you need something? I’ve had something of a long day. I’d really like to get home to Jenny now."

"I bet you would. What the hell were you doing with another woman today, Giles? Jenny saw you. She saw you sucking face with some woman outside the pub at lunch. And she’s been trying to find you all day. She was crying like I’ve never seen her cry. How could you, Giles?" Buffy felt the tears well up in her own eyes as her anger at his betrayal spilled out.

"She saw me, today?" Giles blanched as he realized the conclusion she must have jumped too. "Buffy, it’s not like that."

"Care to explain?"

Giles sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Buffy, this is my personal life. I don’t interfere with yours anymore. However, as Jenny has pulled you into this little mess, I’m going to explain. Buffy, I love Jenny very much. I’m sure you’ve figured that out. I’ve never loved anyone more. I want to marry her."

He paused, trying to find the right words. "I don’t know if you can understand this, but going from being a confirmed bachelor to an almost married man is a bit of an adjustment. I’ll admit I’ve been nervous the last few weeks as I contemplated doing this, making this permanent. And yesterday, out of the blue, I got a call from Sabrina. Next to Jenny, she’s the woman I loved most in my life. We were together for a while in our 20s, while we were at university, but we drifted apart and she married someone else. She called me this morning. She just completed her divorce and she wanted to see if there was something still between us."

"Buffy, I don’t know how to explain the effect of someone’s first love once you’ve moved on. It’s someone you can’t ever forget and you always wonder about if you leave them behind. So when she called and told me she was in Sunnydale, I knew I needed to see her, to close the door once and for all and make sure I had no lingering doubts. I don’t want to marry Jenny and think it was a mistake because of what might have been."

"So I met her today for drinks. And I did kiss her. I suppose we were trying to see if the magic was still there. She offered for me to come back to her hotel room. But I knew she wasn’t the one. What we’d had was beautiful back then, but she wasn’t Jenny. So I declined her offer. I’ve been out for most of the day, looking at rings."

"Giles, are you serious? Nothing happened with that woman? And you’re going to pop the question to Jenny, assuming she’ll take you?"

"No Buffy, nothing happened. And yes, I am going to ask her to be my wife. I can’t believe she saw me. I never wanted to hurt her like that. Buffy, where is she?"

"She went to stay at a friend’s house. Look, why don’t you give her some space tonight? I’ll call her and reassure her. Then I recommend you spend tomorrow doing some serious sucking up. Take the day off, take her away, but make her understand that you were not ‘with’ that woman and that she’s the only one you’re ever going to want."

Giles agreed and after they’d hung up, Buffy called Jenny. She reassured her that it had not been what she thought but refused to tell her more, promising only that Giles would be coming to get her tomorrow and that he had a lot to tell her, warning her to keep an open mind and to give him a chance to explain. Jenny still sounded hurt, but she agreed to talk with him and sounded calmer than before.

She hung up the phone, glad the crisis was averted. As she added water to her roses, she realized her earlier enthusiasm for rushing back to Spike tonight had dissipated. She felt the old insecurities creeping back. It sounded as though Giles and Jenny would be okay, but once again she was reminded of the thorns along the way. She sighed heavily. Suddenly jumping into a relationship with Spike feet first seemed like less of a good idea. Maybe they should just take things slow.

She got ready for bed and turned off the light. Tomorrow was a big day, the talk with Angel, which clearly wasn’t happening tonight, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for it.

Buffy flipped through her closet. She needed something nice, but not too sexy for tonight. She was dreading the evening. This wasn’t going to be easy. She finally found a dress she thought was appropriate. It was black, always a good color, or non-color. Long and fairly form-fitting, with a high neck and long sleeves. She always thought it made her look very grown-up. But it didn’t seem suggestive, just sophisticated. Should be perfect for the upscale crowd sure to be at the restaurant. She pulled her hair up into a French twist and started applying her makeup as Willow came in.

"Oh, it that what you’re wearing tonight? Very pretty, sort of classic looking. Sorry I wasn’t here last night. I’m getting over my annoyance at staying at Xander’s. Was everything okay with Jenny?"

Buffy pursed her lips as she applied her lipstick. "I think so. It’s a long story, but I think it will have a happy ending. I’ll just say that Giles made a mistake, fortunately not a very serious one, and he’s doing some groveling right now to make up for it."

Willow starting rummaging through her own closet for an outfit for the picnic Xander was taking her on. "So has Angel asked you to the formal yet? I assumed you guys were going. Apparently he’s already got the tickets, and he and Xander have booked us rooms at that cute little bed and breakfast down by the lake, you know Cumberland’s B & B? The really pretty old house? The formal’s at that pavilion built out over the lake, so it’ll be nearby. They’ve really gone all out on their plans."

Buffy stopped mid application of her mascara. She’d had no idea Angel had made all these plans. She remembered some talk about the KET fall formal, but it had slipped her mind. Could it be worse timing? She hated to break up with him right before this. Angel could probably get another date if he wanted, but it might put him in a difficult spot. Maybe she should wait. A few more weeks wouldn’t hurt and it would give her a little more time to sort through what she was feeling for Spike. Jenny’s crisis last night had really shaken her confidence in herself and her ability to have a solid relationship.

She realized she was finished with her primping, so she sat down to wait and found herself looking at the roses again. Maybe she should just tell Angel adios this evening. He’d find another girl, another date. But her guilt over what happened with Spike popped back up. She was the one who messed up what little relationship they had, he shouldn’t be hurt by it in any way, if she could help it. She really owed it to him to wait until afterwards, just so things were less complicated. Her thoughts bounced back and forth like a ping-pong ball as her emotions warred within her.

There was a knock at the door and startled out of her inner conflict, she jumped to open it. Angel stood in the hallway, looking handsome in a dark suit, roses, as predicted by Willow, held in his hand. She accepted the light kiss on the cheek and the flowers, and then panicked as she remembered the other fragrant bouquet around the corner, shielded from view by the door.

"Um, Willow, we should probably go, would you put these in water for me?" Buffy titled her head slightly in the direction of the other flowers out of Angel’s line of sight.

Willow caught her look and realized Buffy didn’t want to explain the "congratulatory" flowers to Angel. She shrugged and took them.

"Sure, you crazy kids have a good time tonight."

They reached the restaurant and as promised, they were seated with speed at one of the outdoor patio tables. Angel seemed at his most engaging tonight, charming her with funny stories of the coach at practice earlier that day, which drew her out in spite of herself. She soon relaxed. She couldn’t break up with him in the middle of dinner; she might as well enjoy the ambiance.

<><><><>

As Buffy warmed to Angel’s conversation, Spike watched from across the street, feeling anger and a sense of hopelessness build inside him. He’d headed over to Buffy’s dorm tonight; sure she must have talked with Angel by now. He’d found her note on his pillow and taken it as a sign. He was going to see if maybe he could surprise her and take her out tonight. He’d driven over and had just pulled into the small parking lot when he’d seen them coming down the steps, her all dolled up in a beautiful dress that hugged her curves lovingly, smiling up at Angel as he helped her into his car. Spike saw red for a minute and had to control himself from getting out of the car and demanding to know what was going on. He’d ended up following them into town, feeling like a stalker, as he watched the woman he loved enter the restaurant and settle in for a romantic date.

He’d been sure she was going to call things off with Angel. How could she be there with him like this, smiling and laughing? Spike took one last look and walked away, his dreams of the last forty-eight hours falling to pieces. A quick stop at the liquor store and he was fortified for a night of wallowing in self-pity. He made it home, opened the first bottle of whiskey and proceeded to drink away his troubles.

<><><><>

The evening flew by and they had just ordered dessert when Angel brought up the formal. She was about to try to explain why she couldn’t go when two of his frat brothers showed up at the table with their dates to say hello.

"Hey guys, I was just telling Buffy about the formal. Penn’s the head of the planning committee and he’s done a great job. Buffy and I very excited about the dance, Penn, we’ve got big plans." He gave a quick wink at Buffy that seemed to be an inside joke she didn’t quite catch.

Buffy miserably realized she was being backed into a corner. She couldn’t turn Angel down now, all of his friends would wonder why she dumped him so close to the formal. The fact that Spike was a member of the same fraternity only made things more complicated. Angel didn’t deserve any ridicule for her infidelities. She sighed, and resigned herself, she could make it through another few weeks, go to the dance and then call things off. They’d finished their meal soon after that and left the restaurant.

Angel drove her home and accompanied her back up to her room. She let him in, not surprised that Willow was still missing. He sat on her bed and patted the spot next to him and she sat nervously beside him. She glanced over and realized that Willow must have put Spike’s flowers away, as Angel’s were now the only ones visible.

Angel leaned in for a kiss, skating his lips across her jaw gently and slowly reaching her mouth. She tried not to stiffen. It just didn’t feel right. She pulled back a little.

"Angel, I’m so sorry. It’s been a lovely evening, but I’m not feeling very well." She used the old standby, the headache, and he agreed to go without anymore encouragement. She thanked him again for the dinner and flowers, then locked the door behind him.

<><><><>

Angel left Stevenson, whistling. He was a little disappointed that Buffy had been headachy tonight. He felt like they were far enough along that a little groping would be in order and she had looked incredibly hot tonight. That dress had just screamed to be removed and reveal all it covered up.

Still, it was probably for the best he was sticking with his plan. Things were working just as he’d hoped and he thought moving to the next stage was just right around the corner. Getting the room at that quaint B&B out by the lake for the night of the fall formal had been genius, a perfect place to seduce her. Very romantic. He give her a fabulous memory, she’d feel they were soulmates, and then he move things up a notch.

He thought popping the question to her in the spring would work, and they could get married after he graduated. He’d have to be sure they avoided any nasty prenuptial agreements or anything like that. He probably needed to find out a few more details about that trust she was coming into, wanted to be sure what he was he signing up for. Still, he could hardly ask for a prettier package. Buffy was sweet, beautiful and rich beyond his dreams. He was just glad he happened to be charming and attractive enough to snag her and her money, ensuring life on easy street.

He looked at his watch, realizing he was going to miss his rendezvous with Cordy if he didn’t hurry. She should be back from her date with Wes pretty soon. She hadn’t showed up last week, claiming she got to talking with Spike about some girl he was interested in. He’d been a little upset, but he figured they’d make up for it this week.

<><><><>

Her heart was hurting. She didn’t think she could do this, play the attentive girlfriend to Angel for two more weeks. She realized she suddenly wanted to talk to Spike, to see him, more than anything in the world. She owed him more of an explanation about what was going on and she hoped he’d understand. Almost without thought, she grabbed her jacket and headed for his apartment, hoping he’d be home.

She stalked along the little path in the woods that gave her access to Spike’s place, realizing she should have taken the time to change clothes. It was dark and she couldn’t see well without her flashlight. She tripped, ripping her hose and gouging something painfully in her leg and she cursed herself for not changing as she continued to totter on the rough path in the high heels of her stylish shoes.

She almost turned back, knowing Spike would probably chew her out for coming to his place after dark, but she just really needed to talk with him, explain what was going on. He’d understand, he always did. The glow of the street lamp appeared through the trees and she quickened her steps, to the street and up the stairs that led to his apartment, to knock at his door. She looked at her watch, it was after midnight now. Was he home? She waited.

The door opened to reveal a tired looking Spike clad only in jeans. "What the sodding hell…Buffy, pet are you okay?" She frowned, realizing there was a slight slur to his words.

He pulled her into the room, looking at her ripped hose, dirty shoes and disheveled state. "What happened to you? Did he do something to you? Did he?"

He grabbed her arms and looked her up and down for signs of damage.

"Spike, I’m fine."

He looked at her again, then led her to the couch. "All right pet, then what the bleeding hell are you doing here in the middle of the night, wandering about the woods? Shouldn’t you be with Angel?"

She blinked, confused by his animosity.

"Spike, have you been drinking?" She sniffed delicately; he had a very distinctive aroma.

"What’s it to you, Blondie? Saw you out with Angel tonight. All dolled up and pretty. What, he not doing it for you? Need a real man to get you off?" He sneered and flung himself back on the couch, watching her with narrowed eyes.

His words sunk in, and she realized he must have seen them at dinner tonight. And then proceeded to go get completely smashed. He was as bad as Jenny at leaping to conclusions.

"Spike, we just had dinner. He asked me like a week ago. I couldn’t cancel without being rude. It didn’t mean anything."

Suddenly, she found herself desperate to prove to him that he was the one she cared about.

She knelt next to him, running her hands up his bare arms. "Spike, you’re wasted, come to bed. You’re going to feel horrible tomorrow."

He opened one bleary eye and stared at her.

"What’s that princess? You want me to come to bed with you? Did you just come from his? Thanks, but no thanks, I don’t do leftovers."

She controlled her impulse to slap him. She remembered how angry she’d been with him at the party when she’d thought something was going on with Cordelia. He was just drunk and upset. So much for the talk tonight.

"Spike, honey, don’t be that way." She reached for his arms again and tried to tug him up. Maybe she could coax him to the bathroom and throw him in a cold shower, though she doubted that would improve his disposition.

He shrugged her off again. "I’m not your honey, Goldilocks. If I was, you wouldn’t be having dinner with bleeding Angel O’Connor."

He stood up and staggered back to his bed. "You can let yourself out, you clearly have no problem coming and going as you like."

That did it, he’d told her she could come when she wanted. He was being ridiculous. She jumped off the couch to follow him and stopped in her tracks at the sight of Spike shucking his jeans before he climbed into bed. Spike went commando. She felt her mouth go dry as she watched his very attractive backside disappear under the covers.

She watched as he pulled the covers over his head, completely ignoring her. This was silly. She was sorry she’d hurt his feelings, but she’d told him she needed a few days. He shouldn’t be so upset that she’d had dinner with Angel. She wasn’t leaving here until they talked this out.

She stalked to his dresser and grabbed a t-shirt, glanced defiantly over at the lump on the bed as she stripped off her dress, not bothering to go into the bathroom. She hastily unhooked her bra, realizing the bravado in her little strip tease would evaporate if he popped out from under the covers. She glanced in his direction and realized he was still buried.

She shrugged on the t-shirt, shook her dress out and hung it in his closet. She double-checked the lock on the door and turned out the lights before finding her way back to his bed. Buffy crawled up beside him and found he must be clutching the pillow she liked to sleep on. She reached under the covers and tugged. She heard his muffled voice from under the depths.

"Go away, Goldilocks."

"No. I’m staying right here until you are sober enough to talk about this like an intelligent person."

"Fine, but if you try to steal my covers, I’m gonna be a mean bear and eat you up."

He released the pillow and rolled away from her.

Buffy sighed. This was not the way she had anticipated her next time sharing Spike’s bed when she’d snuck over here yesterday. But things would be better in the morning.

<><><><>

Angel stared at Cordelia in disbelief. Two women were blowing him off in one night? What was going on? Cordelia had been waiting when he’d gotten there, but she’d not been as welcoming as he had hoped.

"Angel. I can’t do this anymore."

"Cordy, baby, what are you talking about? We had a deal. I’d help you get Wes, you’d help me with Buff, we’d see to each other in the meantime." He paused, "Cordy, did you sleep with Wes?"

Cordelia looked away.

"Not yet. We’re getting closer; he’s started to try a little more each time we go out. I try to act shyly excited, yet reluctant at the same time. You were right Angel, he’s definitely got a Madonna/whore complex, and so far I seem to still be on the Madonna side with him. He invited me to go home with him for the Thanksgiving weekend to meet the parents. I think he really likes me, even without sex."

She didn’t want to admit that the feeling was mutual and that she was starting to care about Wesley to Angel, he’d probably make a joke of it or use it against her. She had to play this right.

She moved closer to him. "Angel. I am so going to miss you. But we need to call it quits while we’re ahead. Wesley and I are getting more serious and it’s really not fair, to him or Buffy. You’re planning on making your big play at your formal, right? And that’s just a few weeks from now. You don’t want to take a chance on someone finding out, do you, when you’re so close?

Cordelia looked up at him, hoping her words would sink in. The thing was, she wasn’t lying to him, she would miss their relationship. She’d always had mixed emotions when it came to Angel. She knew that he was an inveterate womanizer, probably always would be. Once, a very long time ago, when they’d first starting messing around, she’d thought she might could fall in love with him, but she hadn’t been stupid enough to open herself up to that prospect.

And she was glad now. Wesley was a sweet and thoughtful man, who seemed to genuinely like her. It was a novel feeling, the way he treated her, and she felt like she could be happy with him in the long-term. Whereas with Angel, he’d have been one hell of a ride, but it would have always been a roller coaster.

He reached down and kissed her softly. "I understand Cordelia. You’re probably right, don’t want to make it almost to the end zone and drop the ball. I’m going to miss you though, Wesley is a lucky man. I don’t suppose I could persuade you to stay with me tonight, one last time for the memories?"

Cordelia looked at him for a long minute. She knew better, she should just walk away now. When she didn’t respond, he dropped to her lips again and she returned his kiss, hating herself for being so weak. It was bittersweet, knowing this was the last time she’d share his bed. For all Angel’s faults, he’d been a considerate lover to her and she’d learned a lot from him. It was like closing the door on a part of her life she knew she couldn’t go back to, not if she was going to be with Wes. She shut her thoughts off and gave in.

"Last time, Angel. And I mean it."

As they lay together afterward, she listened as he outlined his plan for the formal. She figured that sometime between now and then, they’d fall apart, because Spike must be making a move. She thought about the pretty yellow roses she’d gotten, with a card that just said thanks, from Spike yesterday. She hadn’t seen him or Buffy in the meantime, and she had clearly gone out with Angel tonight, but Spike must have something in the works. She was startled when she heard him say Spike’s name. Did he know what she was up to?

"I’m sorry Angel; I was drifting, what was that?"

He repeated his question. "Can you think of anyone I can set Spike up with for the formal? He’ll be there, and I’d rather he not be glowering and hovering over me and Buffy the whole time. I need to find someone who can keep him occupied. Who was this girl he was talking to you about the other night? Do you think she would go? "

"Oh, I don’t know Angel. This girl is, well she’s not from around here. I doubt he’ll ask her."

"Well, is this something serious? Could I set him up with someone casual?"

"I really don’t know Angel. He sounded sort of serious, but who knows with Spike."

"Well, that’s true."

Cordelia pulled away from him.

"Listen, Angel, Spike’s a big boy, he can find his own date. I wouldn’t worry about it." She reached for her top. "I really need to go. I drove over tonight, so I’ll be okay going home."

She turned back to him, reached out and touched his cheek. "Angel, don’t sell yourself short. You can be a great guy. Think before you do this thing with Buffy, okay? Do you really care about her? Do you really want to be with her for the rest of you life? Is money worth that?"

He shrugged away from her touch. "Don’t get philosophical on me, Cordelia. I don’t see you fleeing from Wes’s arms. Are you in love with him? If he didn’t have a dime, would you still want to meet his parents?"

She pulled back, hurt, and he bit his tongue. He didn’t want to end things with her this way.

"Cordelia, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way." He pulled her close and kissed her one last time. "It’s been good, babe. No regrets, okay?"

She nodded. "No regrets."

And then she was gone. Angel watched the closing door, feeling an odd gap at the thought of a life with much less Cordelia in it.

<><><><>

Angel woke up surprisingly early, given how late he’d been up with Cordelia. Despite her comments, he really wanted to make sure Spike was thoroughly occupied at this formal and no interference to his plans. He was ready to have Buffy in his bed, especially now that Cordelia was gone. He figured she’d need some encouragement and training at first, but he was looking forward to being her teacher. ‘Should be interesting.’ He’d made the reservations, Buffy was an affirmative. Now the Spike situation.

He pulled out his little black book and flipped through the pages until he found the number he was looking for. Faith. She’d be perfect for Spike, very hot, tallish brunette, maybe a little like Drusilla. Now he just needed to see if she’d be interested. She had something of a reputation for liking KET guys, their fraternity seemed to be her thing. He just hoped she hadn’t already hooked up with someone for the formal yet.

He dialed the number.

"Hey Faith, babe, how are you? It’s Angel."

"Angel." There was a long pause. "Long time, no call."

"I’m sorry about that. You know how school gets, and the season has been really busy. How are you?"

Small talk was made, and then Angel moved to his point.

"Listen Faith, I was wondering if you might do me a favor. I have a friend who needs a date for our Fall Formal and I was wondering if you could maybe help him out?"

"Who is it Angel? It’s not like you KETs have a hard time finding women. I’m not going with one of your pledges."

"No, no, no. You know Spike, right?"

"Spike?" He could hear the interest in her voice. "Are you serious? He’s like Mr. Unapproachable."

"Well, yeah, but I think he might be a little more approachable right now. Anyway, I’m just playing cupid here, because I’ve recently found love and I just want everyone to be happy. I know you’re quite…special, and Spike’s not seeing anyone right now, so I thought I’d see if you were interested?"

"Well, I tell you what. Why don’t you give him my number and we’ll see. Thanks for the offer, Angel and have him call me, if he’s seriously interested."

Angel hung up the phone. With the call to Faith out of the way, he just needed to get Spike on board to be sure everything was set.

He decided to just drop by and have a chat in person, maybe see if Spike wanted to go play a game of basketball or something. Sometimes he’d wondered if Cordelia had been right about Spike with Buffy. He’d been a little distant since he’d started dating her, clearly not entirely happy with the idea. But, he had to be used to by now. And besides, according to Cordy, he had some possible long-distance love interest. He started out the door and walked the few short blocks to Spike’s apartment.

<><><><>

A knock sounded on the door and Spike rolled away from the warm body curled against him, still groggy with sleep, his head pounding as the aftermath of last night’s activities hit him full force. Who was here so early on a Saturday? He peered blearily over at the clock. Okay, not that early, it was after 10:00AM. He rolled back against Buffy’s warmth and pulled the covers over his head. Whoever it was, they’d come back later. Suddenly the soft flesh beside him registered. Buffy was still here? In bed with him? They hadn’t, had they? He snuck a glance under the covers. He was naked, that was not good. He glanced over at her. She seemed to be mostly clothed in one of his shirts. Good, that meant they probably hadn’t. Surely he’d remember?

Buffy murmured and rolled closer to his warmth. "What was that?"

"I don’t know luv, they’ll go away." She murmured agreement and cuddled back down, content to sleep longer. Spike decided this wasn’t a bad thing and curled back around her. They could talk when they’d both woken up and his head hurt a lot less.

And then Spike heard the sound of the key in the lock and Angel’s voice.

"Spike, get up, man. I’m coming in."

Spike froze and he felt Buffy stiffen against him. She rolled over and stared at him, her eyes huge. Spike immediately clamped his hand over her mouth to keep her quiet. He pulled her close and whispered in her ear.

"Buffy, I think the deadbolt’s turned, he can’t get in yet. Listen to me, luv. Go into the bathroom and get in the shower. I’ll get rid of him as soon as I can. Don’t make a sound and I’ll come get you as soon as he’s gone. Got it?"

She nodded silently, trembling slightly. This was not the way she’d planned to end things with Angel.

"Buffy, its okay. We didn’t do anything last night, right?" She nodded and he felt relived. When and if they had a first time, he really wanted to be able to remember it. "Okay, so nothing happened between us last night, you know that, I know that. It just looks bad and it would be hard to explain, so we just aren’t going to. Now hurry pet, before he gets suspicious."

They both leaped from the bed and Buffy raced for the bathroom as Spike grabbed his jeans and yanked them on, yelling at the door, "Coming you wanker, keep your pants on."

He reached the door; made sure the bathroom door was shut, then turned the deadbolt to find Angel standing on the landing.

"Hey Spike. Long time no see."

"Angel. Man you’re out early for a weekend. Come on in." He blinked against the harsh morning light.

"Spike, you look like shit. Did you get wasted last night?"

"Something like that. So keep it down if you will."

"Sure. Listen I just wanted to stop by and talk with you. You’re coming to the formal, right?"

"Well, yeah. I don’t really have a choice, do I? All the brothers have to go. So I’ll be there."

"Great. Well, I’m trying to get some stuff together, make it kind of a special evening, it being our last one and all. I’m booking some rooms at the little bed and breakfast out there for a little quiet after-party and thought you and I and Xander could take our dates out to dinner together before hand."

Spike suddenly focused in on Angel. "Dates? Are you taking Buffy?"

"Well, of course. I asked her last night, in fact."

"You asked her last night? And she agreed to go with you last night?"

Angel looked at Spike. What was his problem? "Yeah, last night at dinner. I took her to that new French place down town, for our anniversary, you know. We’ve been dating for two months, now.

"Is that a fact?"

"Sure is. So I’m taking Buff, and Xander will take Willow. Since it’s senior year and all, I just thought you might want to bring a date, too. Now I know you can find a date if you want to, but there’s a girl I know, Faith, and I think she’s interested in you. She said that she’d like you to call her."

He stopped. Spike was still staring at him strangely, but he responded. "Faith, tall, dark hair and eyes. I know her. Likes KETs, a lot. She’s one of Cordy’s cheerleading pals, right? Speaking of which, how is the cheerleader, mate? Haven’t seen much of you or her since the party. Had a nice little chat with her then."

Angel eyed him suspiciously. Did he know? How could he know? They’d been very discreet. He decided to bluff it out.

"She’s good. Got a new boyfriend, Wesley, she seems pretty serious about him. Thought you knew about that. Anyway, I was hoping we could all go together to the formal, with the dinner before hand? But I need to know how many reservations to make and if you’ll have a date."

Something about the look of Angel, standing there so smug, Mr. Matchmaker, let’s find poor Spike a date, galled him. Knowing that the woman huddled in his shower, who’d shared his bed last night, was still involved with this prat tore him apart. Why had she come to him if she hadn’t called things off with Angel? Had she planned to just run from one to the other?

He’d really thought she felt something for him. He’d thought he knew her. She wasn’t the type to play people off against each other. And yet she clearly hadn’t ended things, wouldn’t make the leap and let go of Angel and take a chance on what could be the most glorious relationship either of them could ever hope to have. One full of passion and fire, with fights and making up and laughter and love. They might burn out fast, though he doubted it, or they might be together forever, but either way, he’d thought it was worth the risk.

But not anymore. He’d had it. His heart could not take it. She’d clearly made her choice. It was time he moved on and Faith was as good as any other.

Spike focused back on Angel.

"Sure, give me her number and I’ll give her a call."

"Why don’t you call her now? That way I can go ahead and make the reservations."

Spike rolled his eyes at the demand and snatched the scrap of paper, making his way to the phone. He dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Faith, this is Spike."

"Spike, hey, how are you. Angel said you might call."

"Yeah, well, so I am. Faith, I’m not going to beat around the bush with you. I think we both know why I’ve called. Are you interested in going to the KET formal with me in a couple of weeks?"

"Well, Spike, I have to say I appreciate a man who’s direct. I’d love to go with you," she purred.

"Fabulous pet. The formal’s the Friday after break. I’ll give you a call next week, when we have our reservations worked out and let you know when I’ll pick you up. Thanks for agreeing to go, Faith."

"Thanks for asking, Spike."

He hung up the phone, feeling a little hollow now that the step was taken.

"All right Angel, make the reservation for six, she’s going with me."

"Cool man. I was going to see if you wanted to come play some B-ball with me?"

"Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got some things I’ve got to get done today. Working on my applications and such. Deadlines getting close."

Angel shrugged. "Well, I’m glad things worked out with Faith. I just want everyone to be as happy as Buffy and I are."

Spike stifled a small snort as he walked Angel to the door and sighed as he finally turned the lock. Yeah, they were the happy couple all right. That’s why she keeps coming to me, mate. He went to the bathroom, knocking lightly before opening the door to a somewhat angry looking Buffy.

"So he’s gone."

"Yeah, he never knew you were here."

"And you have a date for the formal now."

"Yeah, Goldilocks, just like you."

He stared at her, his eyes cold. He hated this, hated feeling like he was betraying her somehow. But he couldn’t do it anymore. He’d bared his heart to her and she’d asked for time. And then she’d run right back to Angel, straight back into his arms. He wasn’t her brother, and he was far more than her friend. If she’d given him any bit of a chance, come to him alone, he’d be her lover. But she didn’t want him; he was clearly just the substitute for whatever she wasn’t getting from Angel. And it was ending now.

"Oh."

She turned away so he wouldn’t see the tear in her eye. Spike was taking someone to the formal. Not her. Well stupid, that’s because your boyfriend of sorts was out there setting him up with someone. Her life was so messed up. He’d called that girl in an instant, with no hesitation. She wasn’t all that special. Despite what had happened the other night, the flowers, his anger at seeing her with Angel, he clearly wasn’t pining after her. It had all just been a pipe dream. She got herself under control and turned back to him, face drawn and composed.

"Well, that’s great Spike. I’m happy for you. I can’t wait to meet her." She fought to keep the edge out of her voice. "Thanks for covering for me with Angel. You’re right, he wouldn’t have understood at all. I guess I need to get dressed and get home now. Don’t want to keep you from your applications."

He nodded and left the bathroom, returning with her clothes, the dress she’d worn the night before on her date. She was going to look so morning after walking home in that. Almost as if he read her mind, he tossed her the outfit and told her he’d drive her home when she was ready.

He exited the bathroom and she turned on the shower, letting the falling water mask the gush of tears. Why hadn’t she just told him it didn’t matter this morning, that she didn’t care if Angel found her with him, that she wanted to be with him? She had come to tell him so last night, but he’d been too drunk and angry to listen to her. But he was even angrier now than he’d been last night, and there was no alcohol to cloud the issue. She’d hurt him by not breaking things off with Angel and he was clearly not interested in what she had to say. She finished her shower and dressed quickly.

They exited the apartment in silence and very little was said until they reached the dorm. She thanked him politely for the ride, almost as though he were a stranger. She mentioned that since they had Fall Break staring next Wednesday, she supposed they could skip the tutoring session this week. He agreed and she got out of the car and watched him drive off without another word.

She opened the door to her room and was relived to find that Willow was gone. Probably out with Xander, maybe over at the lab. She changed clothes quickly; throwing on a pair of old sweats, and curled up on the bed, clutching her William bear so tightly she was afraid the seams would split.

<><><><>

Willow shook her awake.

"Buffy, hey Buffy, wake up. You’ve been sleeping for a long time, you aren’t sick are you?"

"Sick? Oh, well, I’m, um, I’m not feeling very well. Maybe I’m coming down with something, the flu or something like that."

"I’m sorry. I should have let you sleep. I just wanted to see if you were up for a trip to the mall to check out some dresses for the bash. Xander told me we are all set now to go as a group, Xander and I, you and Angel and Spike and some girl named Faith. It’s too bad Cordy won’t be there, it’s almost the entire gang. They made the reservations today for the restaurant and bed and breakfast. Cool, huh? Should be quite the weekend."

Buffy stiffened. Was Spike getting a room with Faith? She stifled the jealous surge as she sat up.

"I’m fine, Willow, I think that nap did me a world of good. How about we hit the mall? I want to find a knock ‘em dead outfit that’ll really wow everyone."

Or more specifically Spike. Suddenly she knew what she had to do. She had to win Spike back. He had to give her a second chance. She’d screwed up yet again, but she could make it up to him.

"So does that mean Buffy and Angel are going to finally do the deed? I wondered when Xan told me about the hotel rooms."

"I wouldn’t say that Will, but I intend to look good for this thing, no matter what. Let’s go shopping."

Willow watched as Buffy leafed listlessly through the racks of dresses at the small shop in the mall which specialized in formalwear.

"So Buffy, how do you like this one?" Willow held up a frothy confection of pink lace that screamed eighties prom dress. Buffy glanced over. "That’s nice Will, are you thinking of getting it?"

Willow swallowed hard. Something was seriously wrong when fashion conscious Buffy would call such a monstrosity even nice. Her initial perkiness as they’d left the dorm and made their way to the mall had dissipated somewhere along the way, and she seemed to be in almost a daze again. She wished her friend would just come clean and tell her what was going on, but she really hated to pry, and to admit that she’d snooped and read Buffy’s note from Spike. Maybe she should see if Xander could talk to Spike, discreetly, and find out what was going on at his end.

"Buffy, are you sure you’re feeling okay? You seem, well a little distracted."

Buffy flicked through five or six more dresses before finally turning her attention back to Willow. "I’m fine. Just a little tired still, probably had a bug or something."

She glanced back at the racks they had just been perusing. "You know, I’m just not seeing anything here. How about we see if Giles will loan us his car and we’ll go to L.A. for fall break, do some real shopping? I think we could use a little road trip."

Willow nodded. "That’d be cool. We’ll shop till we drop and enjoy the sights and sounds of a big city again." And one way or another, I’m going to get you to tell me what’s bothering you.

<><><><>

Buffy gathered her books after her last class on Tuesday and headed over to the lecture hall where Giles would be finishing up. He and Jenny had taken the long weekend she’d suggested and though she’d spoken to them only briefly when they’d gotten back on Sunday night, it sounded like all was right with them again. Giles had asked her if she would come to dinner on Tuesday, and she’d agreed. She sensed there was maybe an announcement to be made, she had heard the pride in his voice as he’d issued the invitation. That probably meant that Spike would be there as well.

She had mixed feelings about seeing him face to face again. She’d called him a few times on Sunday, trying to get up the courage to explain, but his phone had gone unanswered and he’d never returned her calls. She had made it halfway down the path to his home on Monday afternoon, but lost her nerve. After all that happened, she was reluctant to show up unannounced. She wasn’t even sure she would be welcome anymore. She remembered how cold he’d been when he’d driven her home on Saturday morning. Never in her life had someone looked at her with that much ice in their eyes.

But maybe she could corner him tonight at dinner, for just a few minutes, and try to explain. Surely he’d understand why she’d accepted Angel’s invitation. She could make him see that she wanted him and only him. She reached the building and waded through the outgoing crowd to reach her uncle and give him a welcoming hug.

"Giles, how are things? I’m glad you guys are back!"

"They are very, very well, Buffy, and that is all you’ll get from me for now, or Jenny will have my head."

"Whipped already." Buffy shook her head and giggled at him as he rolled his eyes.

"Buffy, I do want to thank you. Without your level-headed intervention, I fear that Jenny and I could have gone at cross-purposes for sometime. We both greatly appreciate what you did for us."

"Oh Giles, it was the least I could do. You guys are one of the most perfect couples I think I’ve ever seen. You just fit together you know? And it took you so long to get together and be happy, I just didn’t want it to fall apart for no reason."

"Well, thank you again, Buffy. I am glad things have worked out. Now all I have to regret is waiting so long to be with her to start with."

Buffy nodded, realizing that she didn’t want to make that mistake either. Spike was the guy for her and she was going to let him know tonight. Her thoughts darted back to Giles and one way he could repay her for her kindness.

"Giles? I don’t suppose you’re grateful enough to loan me your car so Willow and I can go to L.A. shopping over fall break?’

Giles groaned, knowing he would eventually give in and entrust his little red convertible to the two girls.

"Only if Willow drives, Buffy, only if Willow drives."

Buffy grinned as they headed toward home.

<><><><>

Jenny and Spike were already in the kitchen when they arrived at the house. She had clearly been filling him in on the details of the last week while they waited and Spike eyed the pair suspiciously as they walked though the door. He was starting to wonder if the Summers-Giles clan was capable of honesty in their relationships. But Jenny had assured him that it had been a mistake and all was well again.

He watched her breeze through the door to hug Jenny, golden and beautiful, and he felt his heart twist. If only things had worked out as well for them this weekend as they had for Jenny and Giles. He shut down on his impulse to hug her as she wandered over to lean on the counter beside him, close enough that he could feel the warmth of her body. Did she really need to get in his personal space like that? He sidled away an inch and she followed. He gave up. Let her try to play games with him, he was done with it. Maybe he should call up Faith when he got home, see if she wanted to go out over the break before the formal, maybe they could get to know each other better.

Jenny urged them all into the dining room and they sat down to enjoy the meal together. Conversation stayed light, talk of the mountain retreat Giles and Jenny had escaped to for the weekend and current events in the news filling the meal for a time.

"William, don’t you have the KET formal coming up soon? Isn’t it usually right after fall break?" He nodded, hoping Jenny would move on. This was one topic he did not want to discuss. But she persisted. "Do you have a date yet?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, Aunt Jenny, I have a date. Her name is Faith, would you like pictures of the event?" She ignored his sarcasm and nodded.

"What about you Buffy, are you going with Angel?" Buffy nodded hesitantly, not daring to look at Spike, afraid of what his reaction might be."

"Of course she’s going with Angel. He’s the love of her bloody life, isn’t that right, pet?" She glared at him across the table, not wanting to do this here and now with two very interested parents watching. "It’s just a date, Spike, it doesn’t mean anything," she hissed back at him.

"Right, not a thing. What with the romantic dinner beforehand and the, well you know what’s planned for afterwards…." He raised his eyebrow and gave her a suggestive look and she knew he was referring to the rooms. She blushed and darted a look at Jenny and Giles who were staring at the pair with open fascination. "I’m sorry, please excuse me, I have to go to the restroom." She fled the table and raced up the stairs.

"Spike, what is going on? Is there something we need to know about? Is Angel taking advantage of Buffy?" Jenny looked concerned. Buffy was not one to back down from a fight with Spike, normally she gave as good as she got, but this time, she was acting oddly.

"Advantage? Hardly. That girl thinks she can wrap men around her little finger and make them dance whenever she whistles the right tune. Angel should probably be worried of her taking advantage of him."

He pushed back from the table and started to clear the plates, signaling an end to the discussion.

Giles and Jenny exchanges a significant glance. Clearly there was more to this than either was letting on. But they knew pushing at this point wouldn’t get them anywhere. "Spike, when you get done with those plates, can you join us again for a moment? Jenny and I have something we want to tell you and Buffy."

Spike smiled in spite of himself as he placed the dishes in the sink. He’d wondered if old Rupert had popped the question. Jenny had been playing with her empty ring finger all night, as though there was something missing from the spot.

He returned to the dining room to find the pair gone, presumably to get the ring, and a pale Buffy standing in the doorway.

He refused to look at her, just nodded down the hallway. "They have something they want to tell us, asked if we’d wait." He returned to his chair. She walked over to stand beside him and reached out tentatively to lay a hand on his shoulder. "Spike, I need…"

She broke off as he visibly flinched away. "Buffy, please don’t. I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t want to hear it, alright? I just don’t think I can take any trite apologies right now. I’m sorry for the flowers and the card, suppose I was just thinking with other parts of my anatomy than my head, if you know what I mean. Not often I have such a beautiful woman snogging me on my couch. I can only imagine what it would have been like if we’d made it to the bed, and I certainly would have liked to got you back there, hence the poncy note. You’re quite the firecracker you know? Angel should be very happy to have you, all responsive and willing."

Buffy drew back, appalled by his callused tone. Was that all that had been to him, just a random sexual encounter with no emotion? She closed her eyes. It wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true. He’d told her he loved her. She’d fooled around enough to know that, in the middle of a passionate make-out session, most guys didn’t demand you open you eyes so they could look into your very soul and you could see their love shining on you. It had been something special and unique and amazing between them, because it was them. She opened her eyes to try again, when she heard Giles and Jenny coming back down the hallway and returned to her seat. She didn’t want to spoil the evening, but sooner or later she was going to have it out with Spike.

The couple appeared from the hallway, arms wrapped around each others waist as they stood before their adopted children. Giles cleared his throat and gazed down lovingly at Jenny before looking back to Buffy and Spike.

"This weekend, as you know, Jenny and I went away together. I have been thinking for a long time about this and the events of the last week solidified my intentions."

Jenny poked him in the ribs. "Don’t be long-winded, Rupert. Get to the point." She smiled up at him and whispered, "I want to show off my ring."

He smiled back. "Very well, to make a long story short, I asked Jenny to marry me and she has agreed."

Buffy and Spike instantly surrounded them, hugs and congratulations flying as the less than surprising announcement was formally made. They admired the beautiful ring Rupert has chosen that Jenny had now returned to her left ring finger and discussed the upcoming wedding planned for the Christmas holidays. Buffy accepted the role of maid of honor and Spike agreed to be the best man. Before long, the significant glances between the newly engaged couple became more obvious and Buffy, after liberating the car keys from Giles, excused herself to return to campus, with Spike close on her heels.

As they started down the steps to the cars, the ice that had been between them thawed slightly as they joked about the upcoming wedding and the obvious eagerness of the new couple. Spike began taunting her about the horror of bridesmaid dresses and she returned his ribbing about the monkey suit he’d have to wear. He relaxed a little as they slipped back into more of a brother-sister bantering mode, feeling relieved that he could still have a conversation with her despite the tension of the last week.

That was one of the things that had been tumbling through his head all weekend long, he was losing both love and friendship with her. Maybe if he could just treat her like he used to, before he acted like the world’s biggest git and confessed his undying love to her, things could return to normal.

Spike walked her over to Giles’ car, taking the keys and unlocking the door for her.

"You sure you can drive this thing pet, I know how you and cars don’t mix." He smirked at her as he held the keys just out of reach and she rolled her eyes, jumping to try to snatch the keys from his fingertips. She really hated being short. After several attempts, Spike laughing the entire time, she managed to snag the keys. Buffy stumbled as she landed from her successful leap, staggering against Spike and trapping him between her and the car.

She realized he had reflexively caught her and she looked up, watching the moonlight play across the planes of his face as he continued to hold her. He stared down at her, an unfathomable mix of hurt and longing on his face at the close contact and she reacted on impulse. Slowly, she leaned into him further and raised her lips to his. At the first brief touch, she could feel the electricity between them and the kiss deepened as Spike groaned and responded to her questing tongue for a moment, before he suddenly stopped and pulled back.

Buffy blinked, startled by the loss of contact with his warm mouth. What had happened? Why had he stopped? He gently pushed her away and began to walk back to his car, calling back over his shoulder, "Sorry, pet, moonlight went to my head. My apologies for trodding on Angel’s turf again."

Buffy watched aghast as he yanked open the door of his car. "Spike, no wait…"

But it was too late. He pulled away in a squeal of tires that she suspected the whole neighborhood could hear, leaving her with tingling lips and a heavy heart.

<><><><>

"Xander? Xander?" Willow knocked softly on the door to her boyfriend’s room. The lab she’d had to finish up had been shorter than anticipated, so she had hurried across the campus to spend some quality time with her sweetie before break and her trip with Buffy started. She gave up knocking, realizing he must not be back yet. The internship he had with the construction company sometimes required late meetings and she supposed this was just one of those nights.

She paced for a minute. He’d probably be here soon, there was no point in going back to Stevenson. But she hated to just sit in the hall and wait for him. Suddenly, a brainstorm hit her. Angel! She hadn’t talked to him in a while and his room was just down the hall. Maybe he was in and she could hang with him for a little while, scope out what the deal was with him and Buffy. Willow left her bag sitting outside Xander’s door and walked down the hall to Angel’s room. She raised her hand to knock and suddenly froze as she heard a breathy moan from inside the room.

"Oh, Angel, yes, harder, harder!"

Willow stared at the door, wide-eyed. Was that Buffy? Having sex with Angel? When did that happen? Willow paused. That couldn’t be Buffy. She was sure Buffy had said she was having dinner with Giles and Jenny, that they were probably going to announce their engagement tonight. Feeling slightly like a Peeping Tom, or rather an Eavesdropping Tom, if such a thing existed, she pressed her ear to the door, after being sure that no one was in the hallway to see her peculiar behavior.

"Baby, that’s so good, you’re so hot," she could hear Angel say in a bedroom voice. "Say my name, Angel, say my name, I want you to say my name when you come," the woman replied, apparently adding some persuasion to the request as she heard Angel’s breathing grow more ragged and with a groan he murmured, "Darla."

Willow pulled back from the door as though it were a hot stove and clapped a hand to her mouth to muffle her exclamation. That two-timing bastard! Granted, Buffy looked like she maybe had something going on as well, but she knew her best friend, and she was fairly certain that Buffy wasn’t sleeping with Spike.

Anyone with half a brain could see those two were meant to be together anyway, she didn’t know why Buffy hadn’t dumped Angel a long time ago. Talk about no chemistry. They almost seemed disinterested in each other. She continued to stare at the door. This was just the news Buffy needed to push her away from Angel for good. She knew Buffy was incredibly sensitive about cheating because of her dad, and the news that Angel had been with Darla should put the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

Darla, Darla, who could that be? Willow gasped as she suddenly identified the voice. That was Darla Harmon, she was in their sorority. That little slut! She knew Buffy was dating Angel. Willow suddenly started as she heard footsteps coming up the stairs at the end of the hallway and she scurried back down to Xander’s door.

"Hey Wills, get done with your lab early?"

Willow nodded and clamped a hand over his mouth as soon as he was close enough. "Be very quiet and get us in your room quickly," she whispered in his ear.

He nodded, puzzled, and unlocked his door, ushering Willow inside just as the door to Angel’s room began to open. With a squeak, Willow pulled him inside and shut the door behind them.

"Willow, what is going on? You eager to get me alone, sweetie?" He advanced on her and she laughed at his exaggerated leer as he stalked her across the room.

She stopped him with a kiss, then sat him down. "Xander, we have to talk, seriously. You’re not going to believe what I just heard."

<><><><>

Buffy managed to make it safely back to Stevenson in one piece, though she was glad Willow would be behind the wheel tomorrow. She entered the dorm and unlocked their room. As she’d suspected, Willow’s bag were already packed and ready to go. There was a note on her bed, saying she’d be at Xander’s for the night. Buffy dropped the note back on Willow’s bed and returned to sit on her own.

She stared at the phone. Should she call him? Would he listen? She picked up the phone and dialed his number, then slammed it down after the first ring. She rolled her eyes and picked it up again. She was not going to be juvenile. She dialed his number again, listened for the ringing tones and was disappointed when she heard his voice mail pick up. She hung up again. So much for calling.

Maybe kissing him been a bad idea just now. She knew there were things they needed to work out, but he looked so sad and vulnerable and she had just wanted to make things better. She beat her head against her pillow. Why was this so complicated? She’d finally conquered her inner demons, or at least quelled them enough to take the leap with Spike, and now he was being difficult. Maybe she should just stalk over there and force him to listen. Would he kick her out? Would he give her a chance? She bit her nails nervously. He’d said it with flowers, should she? Sending flowers to Spike seemed too weird. Wait, he liked music! Maybe she could burn him a CD about how she felt? Maybe not, she was 20, not 14.

Buffy pulled out a bag and began to mechanically pack. She was at her wit’s end. If he wouldn’t talk with her by phone, wouldn’t talk to her in person, she was going to have to find another way to make him listen. It was time to play True Confessions with Willow and get her input. Maybe her best friend would be able to shed new light on the situation. She finished her packing, settled on this course of action and turned out the lights to try to get some rest.

<><><><>

Willow had returned early the next morning and they loaded the car, settling in for the ride to L.A. As soon as they reached the interstate, Buffy decided it was time.

"Willow, I have to tell you something and I need your advice."

Willow nodded. She’d hoped Buffy would confide in her on this trip, giving her a better idea on how she was going to take the news about Angel’s infidelity.

"Go right ahead, you know you can tell me anything. You’ve listened to enough of my ups and downs over the years. Buffy," she glanced quickly over at her friend before turning her attention back to the highway, "I know something’s been bothering you. You’ve been acting odd for the last week or so and I was starting to get worried. So spill. You’ll feel better."

Buffy took a deep breath. "It’s about me and Spike. Willow, I don’t know exactly when it started. You know how close we’ve always been. But since I came back, our relationship has been different. It’s like there’s sparkage every time I’m in the room with him now. It was weird and I tried to ignore it at first, I mean, I felt really strange about it. Hello, best friend, almost brother. And then Angel asked me out first thing and he just kept asking until the next thing I knew everybody’s acting like we’re a couple. Spike never made a move, he just kept treating me like his kid sis, you know?"

"But Buffy, I thought he kissed you at that party when we first came back?"

"He did, Wills, but I didn’t think it meant anything. I mean, he never mentioned it again. Then we started spending all that time together, with the tutoring, and after he gave me a key I went over there most nights to watch TV and hang out with him." She ducked her head a little. "I wasn’t really going to the library."

Willow smirked. "Buffy, I figured something was going on, though it took me until a few days ago to realize you were probably at Spike’s. You’ve never spent that much time at the library in your life."

Buffy laughed. "Yeah, probably not the best cover for me. Well, we just kept getting closer and closer, but in a non-romantic way. He even let me sleep at his place a few times."

Willow stopped her. "You’ve been sleeping over there? How did I miss this? Did anything happen?"

Buffy blushed, "No, not really. It was when you and Xander needed some alone time and it turned out that Giles and Jenny had also scheduled alone time that I unfortunately walked in on. Remind me to tell you about that sometime." She shuddered. "Anyway, Spike took me in. We did sleep in the same bed, but he was very gentlemeny."

"So you slept there once. Has something happened since then?"

"Well, actually twice, before last Friday, but it was the same deal. Nothing going on but sleeping."

"Hold on a minute Buffy, what happened last Friday?"

"I’ll get to that. But I have to explain what happened before, for it to make sense."

"Alright, tell the tale."

"Okay, so everything had been pretty platonic until your birthday party. I saw him flirting with Cordelia and I just saw red, Willow. I knew I had no claim on him, but I was so angry seeing them together. I don’t think I slept hardly at all that night, thinking about the two of them. And my response was less than adult. I started kissing Angel just to see if Spike would notice."

She buried her face in her hands. "I’m such a bad person Willow. How could I do that, use Angel like that?"

Willow clucked sympathetically, knowing she was going to enjoy getting to tell Buffy what a creep Angel had been. Here she was beating herself up over a little flirting while that moron had been shtupping someone else, probably the whole time they’d been dating. "Buffy, Angel didn’t look like he minded all that much. Besides, it wasn’t that big of a deal. But there’s more to this story than that. Why did Spike send you flowers?"

Buffy felt a faint blush begin as she continued her story. "Well, I avoided Spike for a few days after your party, because I was embarrassed over what happened and still a little upset about him and Cordy. So I finally went over to his place on Wednesday for tutoring. Everything was fine, I apologized, we were good, just a little awkward. Then I hung around afterwards to watch Passions with him. And we ended up making out on his couch.

Buffy’s blush deepened and she stared out the window, suddenly very interested in the passing cars.

Willow caught the scarlet of her face and followed up, "Buffy? Are we talking a few smoochies here or did something more happen?"

Buffy grew redder. "Something more."

Willow gasped. Had she had sex with him? Maybe she’d underestimated the powers of Spike’s charms. And there was that note. "Buffy, what happened?"

Buffy looked at Willow, not sure she could verbalize what had happened between them.

"I didn’t sleep with him."

"But you did fool around?"

Buffy nodded. "Willow, it was so amazing. I’ve never felt so good in my entire life."

"Aww, Buffy, did Spike give you a happy?"

Buffy giggled, feeling a little freer now that it was out. "Did he ever! Willow, he gave me the most incredible orgasm, but you know what made it so special? It was his eyes. The whole time, he just kept staring into my eyes and I could see so much love and desire and passion in them. Everything I’ve ever wanted."

"So, did you return the favor?"

"No, that’s where things went bad. He mentioned something about me not having that much passion with Angel and I just panicked. I mean it was like all those yummy feelings were sucked away in an instant and this huge wave of guilt rushed into their place. I freaked and just jumped up and ran."

She paused, gathering her thoughts to explain this properly. "It really shook me up Will. I think he’s the one. But everything with him was so explosive that night, and I know that the pretty fireworks can leave some ugly burns. So I told him I needed some time when he called."

"So did you make a decision? That all happened, what, last Wednesday? And you went out with Angel on Friday? Hey, what about Friday? You said something happened with you and Spike then?"

"Well, you know Spike sent me those roses. That card was beautiful Willow. He told me he loved me. It was so sweet and it just made me want him more. But I felt like I needed to settle things with Angel first, so I was going to tell him at dinner last Friday. But I didn’t even remember it was an "anniversary" and once you mentioned that, it seemed harsh to break it off then. But I was at least going to tell him I couldn’t go to the formal with him, but then his buddies showed up and I didn’t want to embarrass him. I mean, he’s done nothing to deserve this. I’m the one who cheated, not him, and even though I don’t love him, I would never want to hurt him. He’s been nothing but sweet to me."

"Um-hum." Willow bided her time, knowing once she made her announcement, she’d never get the rest of the story from Buffy. "So what happened with Spike?"

Buffy’s features clouded. "That’s the problem. After Angel dropped me off, I went over to tell him that I wanted to be with him and that I just needed a little time to end this thing with Angel. But he’d seen us at the restaurant together and apparently decided to drink away the memory. He was sloshed by the time I got there. So I put him to bed and though we could talk in the morning.

Willow stopped her again. "So you stayed with him Friday night?"

"Yeah, but that’s not where things went bad. I must have been really tired and I think he was hung over, so we were both still asleep at like 10:00AM when Angel showed up. And he still has a key to Spike’s place. The deadbolt was turned, so he didn’t walk in on us, but I had to hide in the bathroom while Spike talked to him."

Willow stifled a laugh at the thought of what that situation must have looked like. "So what happened?"

"Angel told Spike I had agreed to go to the dance with him at dinner the night before, and Spike got really angry. I wish I could have explained things to him before he heard that from Angel. Willow, I think he would have understood. But he didn’t take the news well coming from Angel. And it turns out, Angel was there to try and set him up for the dance with Faith, you know, Cordy’s skanky cheerleader friend. So Spike just called her right then and there and asked her! Angel left and we both were to mad to talk, so he brought me home."

"So that’s it? You’ve haven’t tried to talk it out?"

"That’s just it. I’ve tried and tried to explain. I’ve called, I’ve left messages. I tried to talk with him last night at dinner. But he’s still very angry. So that’s where I need some advice. How do I get him to listen to me? And should I even keep this formal date with Angel? I don’t want to be with him. I know I’m in love with Spike. But I feel so guilty just dumping Angel with so little notice. It’s not his fault either. What am I going to do?"

"Well, first of all, let me say congratulations. You’ve been sort of a lone wolf for too long, Buffy. I know you wanted to wait for Mr. Right, but I think you’ve finally found him. I always thought you two would be a perfect couple together. And I know Spike will come around. He’s just hurt right now."

Willow waited for that to sink in before she dropped the bombshell. "Buffy, I have something to tell you that is probably going to make you mad, but in the long run is a good thing. I went to Xander’s last night and he wasn’t in yet. So I thought I’d drop by and say hey to Angel. Instead, I got the verbal soundtrack to a porn flick, complete with a ‘say my name when you come, baby’."

Buffy stared at Willow openmouthed. "Angel? Was in there with some other girl?"

Willow nodded. "Oh yeah. Right in the midst of the dirty deed. Buffy, it was Darla, from our sorority."

Buffy continued to stare at Willow for a long minute, them began laughing hysterically. "You mean the entire time I’ve been beating myself up about all of this and worrying about his feelings, he’s been boning other girls? That bastard. I’m such an idiot, I should’ve known with his reputation, if he wasn’t getting it from me, he was getting it from somebody."

She whipped out her cell phone. "That’s it. Screw Angel, metaphorically of course." She shivered. "I bet he really was planning to try and get me in bed after that dance, with the hotel room." Willow nodded. "Did he think I was some kind of little high school chick who’d give it up because her date bought her some pretty flowers and dinner before the prom? Willow, what was I thinking?"

"In the interest of maintaining out friendship, I’m pleading the 5th on that one. All I know is I’m glad you’ve seen the light."

"Oh, I have." Buffy continued to mutter under her breath as she dialed Angel’s number. Maybe Darla would be happy to go with him. Darla was a ‘ho and everyone knew it. Course, apparently so was Angel. Maybe they could give each other diseases. She brightened at the thought as she counted the rings. "C’mon, pick up, pick up, pick up." Instead, she heard Angel’s suave tones at the other end, commanding her to leave a message. She ended the call. She needed to vent when she dumped his sorry ass and she wanted it to be live, not recorded.

"Damn, he’s not answering."

"Call him later. Now about Spike, I think you do need to talk to him in person. Why don’t you surprise him at his place? You still have a key, right?"

"I do, but I don’t know if he’ll be mad at me just showing up, after all that’s happened."

"Buffy, I think once you explain things to him and get him to listen, he’ll be very happy you came. And you should be naked."

"What? Willow, I can’t just show up at his place and strip!"

"No, but you can already be naked before he gets there. I’ll bet he won’t kick you out then." Willow grinned at her mischievously.

"Willow, that’s nuts. What if he turns me down? That would be totally embarrassing."

"Buffy, he won’t turn you down, you know that. Once he realizes you’re serious and that you’ve kicked Angel to the curb, he’ll be all over you."

Buffy closed her eyes momentarily, savoring that thought. Well, less dramatic approaches hadn’t worked, why not try it? She was interrupted from her plans by the ringing of a cell phone.

"Oh, that’s me. Will you answer it, Buffy? It’s probably Xander. He wasn’t up yet when I left this morning and I didn’t want to wake him."

Buffy felt around in Willow’s bag until she found the ringing phone. "Hello, Willow’s phone, Buffy speaking."

"Buffy? Oh, hey how are you? I was expecting Willow."

"Hey Cordy. It’s Willow’s phone, not a bad expectation. We’re headed to L.A. to do some shopping over the break. I’m sorry I didn’t think to call you, it was a spur of the moment thing. You want to come up and join us?"

"Oh, thanks, Buffy, I really can’t right now." Cordelia paused, unable to think of a good excuse other than her guilty conscience. "I have some stuff I have to do here."

"No big. Do you want me to talk between you and Will? She’s driving right now."

"No, that’s okay. I just had something to tell her. It is kind of important though, can you ask her to call me after you guys get to the city?"

"Sure, no problem Cordelia. Have a good break."

"You too. Bye Buffy. Wait, Buffy, have you seen Spike lately?"

"I saw him last night. We had dinner with the folks. You’ll probably hear it from your mom before long, so I’ll go ahead and share. Giles and Jenny are getting married! The wedding will be at Christmas."

"Oh, that’s great Buffy. Was Spike excited?"

"He seemed to be, Cordy. I don’t know, we didn’t talk very long last night after we left them."

"Okay. I was just hoping the two of you were getting along well." She laughed nervously, "Well, have Willow call me."

"Sure thing. Talk to you later."

Buffy ended the call. "That was really weird, Willow. Cordelia wants you to call her after we get to the hotel, but then she started giving me the 3rd degree about Spike. What do you think that was all about?"

"I don’t know, I’ll call her after we get there. Now that we’ve worked out your love life, give me the dish on the wedding and Jenny and Giles. They are so cute together!"

Buffy began to fill her in, feeling better than she had in more than a week after unloading to Willow. She had never imagined that finding out her boyfriend was cheating on her would make her so happy. The two friends chatted away as they finished the drive, the phone call to Angel postponed for the time.

CONTINUED...