Prologue
"No, no, no, no NO!" He growled as he ran frightened hands over
her jerking body. He could hear her
heartbeat rapidly slowing as life dripped away from her.
This couldn't be happening, it just
couldn't! Frustrated tears slipped
unheeded down his cheeks. The world was
spinning - this just couldn’t be real.
His whole being denied it.
Then everything became clear once
more.
"Please don't hate me." He whispered just before he sank his teeth in
to her neck, drawing the last of her blood from her body.
She moaned, shifting in his grasp
but was quieted by his the soft purrs emanating from his chest. She was barely conscious as she felt the cool
blood slip down her throat, the damning liquid warming her from the
inside.
He lifted her carefully, walking
without presence of mind around the gravestones, vowing that there would never
be one with her name on it.
He placed her gently on the
bed.
He sat down, buried his face in his
hands and cried.
All he could do now was
wait.
Part One
She was hungry.
And, ow, her head kinda hurt. She gingerly rolled her head to the side, trying to work out where she was.
Her eyes refused to cooperate and open, so she extended her other senses.
It was dark, cold and dank - but it didn't bother her.
She was lying on something soft, it felt like silk.
She felt the bed move next to her and her senses alerted her to a familiar presence.
"Spike?" She croaked, forcing to her eyes open and focus on the blonde she knew to be sitting next to her.
"You must be hungry, pet." It wasn't a question.
She accepted the red liquid eagerly, her tongue savoring the scent and taste of the miraculous liquid. She heard herself growl a little as the last on it slipped down her throat. She raised amber eyes to the vampire.
"I can feel you inside of me." She whispered, staring at him.
"I know." He whispered back, taking the styrofoam cup from her and placing it on the floor.
"I guess I was your third after all." She said quietly, and then doubled over as silent tears slipped down her face. Spike awkwardly moved so that his back was against the headboard, and carefully placed an arm around the sobbing girl. He was shocked when she curved her body into his, even more so when he felt hot tears through his shirt.
*I'm so sorry.* He whispered in his head, closing his eyes as he leant back, still cuddling the crying slayer in his arms.
---
Three Weeks Later
"So...Buffy, you want to come out with us, you know - a little after patrol relaxing?" Xander asked the silent slayer.
"Umm..."
"You don't have to, right Xander?" Willow quickly put in.
"It's not that..." Buffy hesitated.
The three of them had been patrolling for about half an hour. It was part of their whole make-Buffy-the-vampire-vampire-slayer-feel-human deal. They hadn't really found any big baddie so far, but Buffy was scared that they would. So far she had managed to control the demon pretty well, but after last week...
"Buffy?"
"I think I just wanna go home, is that okay with you guys?" She tried a smile, but couldn't quite make it form her lips.
"Sure..." Willow murmured, but the slayer had already turned and started to leave the graveyard.
"Let her go, Wills...she'll come when she’s ready."
Willow nodded resignedly, and her and Xander left in the other direction.
---
It had been three weeks.
Twenty-one...a nearby church-clock struck one o'clock...twenty-two days since she had woken up at Spike's crypt...woken up a vampire.
And her whole world had changed again.
If she had thought that getting called had messed with her life, it was a walk in the park compared to this.
Riley...her loving, steady, never-gonna-leave-you Riley had actually been surprisingly cool about everything. Once he had beaten the shit out of Spike and she'd dragged him from the crypt. Two weeks ago they had had a talk, he still loved her - being a vampire didn't change that.
She asked that they take it slow. He said that was okay.
And it was okay, until last week.
It had been a Kregnokh demon according to Giles, very slimy, very hard to kill, very tough; almost too tough. But she'd
managed it, but not without changing.
Apparently being a vampire had changed a few things.
He needed time to think. Time to work things out for himself.
She needed someone who could be there for her, now.
Buffy crawled into bed, after dragging her emotionally tired body up the tree outside her old room. It had been twenty-two days since she had seen him and it was like an ache in her chest that wouldn't go away.
She could feel him every hour of the day. When she was patrolling he was near. When she slept he was in her dreams. Her blood called for him.
It didn't call, it screamed.
She had heard that a bond between a sire and a childe could be strong, but...this was different. She wasn't sure how, but it felt different.
She rolled over in her bed, her face changing as her demon cried for the safety and protection of her sire.
---
Across the hall, Joyce's heart sank a little further at the sound.
Every night it was the same. She would return home from patrolling, late so that she wouldn't have to talk to any body.
Somehow, and Joyce suspected via the tree next to her window, she made it to her room.
Once inside she was silent...every night Joyce prayed that it was sleep that made her so quiet.
Then it started.
They were quiet at first, barely perceptible except to a mother's ears, but soon the wails grew in intensity. The only way to describe it was to compare it to the sound an animal makes when it's in pain.
Joyce was torn. She was having a hard enough time proving to Buffy that she loved her, whatever she was, without worrying about breaking her trust by talking to Mr. Giles about her slayer's nighttime distress.
So she said nothing.
The two of them suffered in silence.
---
Spike sat alone in his crypt, staring at the blank TV screen, a half-empty whisky bottle in his un-bandaged hand. The crypt was silent expect for the rhythmic swish made as he lilted the glass to his lips.
He hadn't seen her.
No one had come to him after the soldier confrontation.
He hadn't said a thing since then.
There had been no one to talk to.
She hadn't come, but he'd followed her at night. Not in the old creepy-stalker way, but in a protective-sire way. He'd seen the fight she'd had with soldier-boy and it had nearly forced him out of the shadows but then the whelp had arrived and the two had left together.
But he watched her nightly.
She looked beautiful. Ethereal. Not-of-this World...if she ever was.
And she looked sad, so sad.
Defeated.
And it killed him inside.
Part Two
Dawn watched the mug rotate around in the microwave.
"Three...two...one....enjoy your meal!" She intoned along with the electronic voice of the machine.
Carefully, she lifted the cup of human blood from the disk, placing it on the tray next to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the tall glass of orange juice.
She bounced to the beat in her head as she lifted a single flower from the vase on the windowsill and placed it in a rectangular glass of water. Adding it to the tray she carefully made her way upstairs.
She balanced they tray on a raised knee as she softly knocked on the slayers door, opening it, "Rise and shine sleepy head!" She murmured softly, moving into the room.
"Dawn?" Buffy's sleepy voice entered the otherwise silent room.
"Yep, look I made you breakfast in bed and everything!" Dawn declared proudly, placing the tray on her sister’s lap once she'd sat up.
"Ahh, Dawny, thanks..." A little tear caught up in her eye.
"Hey don't cry! This was meant to be a good thing - you said you liked them together, right?"
"Right." Buffy smiled, and took a sip of her blood, then a bite of the sandwich.
"Good?" Dawn asked, wide eyed and expectantly.
"Amazing!" She took another sip and lay back, the mug still in her hands. "So, what did you get up to today? First day of Summer right? Much delinquency ahead!"
"Definitely! I ate cookies and milk and watched cartoons today...but tomorrow, I'm taking over the world!" Buffy smiled at her sister and took another sandwich-blood mix.
At her sister funny look she grinned sheepishly, "Its good!"
Dawn shook her head, "Still not as weird as Spike-" She cut herself off at the sudden stillness in the slayer. "God, Buffy I'm sorry, I didn't think-"
"Hey, its okay." Buffy reached out a cool hand to take her sisters.
"Do you really hate him?" Dawn eventually asked after a few minutes of silence.
"No!" Dawn smiled at her immediate response, "It's just that...it’s really complicated."
"Don't Buffy. I can totally handle this, and I want you to talk to me." Dawn spoke so earnestly that Buffy couldn't resist her.
"Okay, I get you're Miss Sophisticated these days." Dawn rolled her eyes, but waited patiently for her sister to continue. "I feel him....you know, inside...I mean not in a sex way but in like…a spiritual way."
"Do you miss him?" Dawn asked, over the glassy look in her sisters eyes.
"Would it be so wrong if I said yes?" Buffy whispered.
"No, God, no! Hey, I miss him and I don't have the whole spiritual-connection thingy!" They shared a giggle. "He's our friend...right?"
"Right." Buffy murmured after a moment, then smiled and took another bite of her sandwich, "This is really good, you know!"
"Thanks." Dawn grinned again.
----
"Hi."
Her voice wasn't even a whisper. He barely heard her; he wouldn't have had it not been for his supernatural senses. He'd felt her move behind him, knowing instinctively the moment that she had left the table on the floor below, that she was coming here.
He knew that she could sense him. The same way he could feel her. Every night. Every day. Everywhere.
He turned around slowly, "Hello, pet."
They stared at each other in silence for a second. In the background a heavy pulse thumped around the Bronze.
"Long time no see, sl-."
"I haven't seen you in a-"
They both spoke at the same time, and then stopped as they realized the other was also speaking.
The air was heavy with sex, sweat, and smoke, but still they could discern the other's scent beneath it all.
"How you been?" Spike was the one to break the tension, though apparently not very well.
"How the fuck do you think I've been?" Buffy growled at him, her eyes flashing dangerously. Her anger peaked at his morose expression. What right did he have to be sad? She was the one who had been left all alone...again.
"I've become what I hate the most, my friends pretend that it doesn't make a difference to them but it does..." She was waving her arms about in angry exclamation. "...and my sire-" She cut off as she realized what she was about to admit; that she missed him.
Nearby couples began to edge away from the obviously angry duo, the native Sunnydale-ians knowing from experience that near such an obviously explosive pair wasn't the best place to be.
"And your sire what, pet?!" Spike growled, conflictingly aroused by the term she'd labelled him with, but pissed off as she made out like she was the only one suffering. He took slow, predatory steps towards her, backing her into the wall behind them. "What have I done since it happened, hmm? I haven't even bloody well spoken to you till now!"
"Exactly! I always know you're there but you never come to me - you just leave me alone!" Buffy growled at him, glaring up into his angry orbs.
"What?" He whispered, standing still.
"I...uh...." She stumbled, trying to think back a way to take back her all-too-quickly spoken words.
"What, Buffy?" His voice changed tone, becoming deeper, huskier. He took a step towards her and she instinctively took one back, only to find she had already been backed up against a wall. He leaned into her, resting his weight against one palm.
"Have you missed me, love?" He murmured into her ear, his cool borrowed air tickling her ear.
"No." She denied in a whisper, trying to sound more convinced then she felt; attempting desperately not to close her eyes as she unconsciously leaned into him.
"I think you have..." His words were as liquid as they washed over her. His scent was so intoxicating, her whole being ached to reach out to him, but something held her back.
Her eyes rolled back in her sockets as he continued to speak, his sexy tones hypnotizing her.
"I think about you." He murmured as he raised his other hand, reverently allowing his fingers to draw lazy patterns down her cheek and neck, before resting on the expanse of chest that was exposed to him. "When I wake up....when I go to sleep....all bloody night." He finished on a growl, slowly pushing his body into hers.
The slayer gasped as her body slowly came into contact with every inch of his, moaning as she felt something hard press in to her.
"Buffy?"
"Huh..." Buffy's eyes slammed open.
"Buffy, you up here?"
"Oh God..." She muttered, pushing Spike abruptly away.
She stared shocked into his eyes; unable to look away from those magnetic orbs even though she so desperately wanted to; afraid he'd see too much.
"Buffy! There you are, we were getting worried - though some big bad got a hold of you." Willow said with a smile.
Buffy spun around, his hold broken, to face her friend. She felt, rather than saw him, disappear into the shadows.
She heard him chuckle huskily at the witch's choice of words, the deep sound setting off a throbbing low within her. "Uh...no, I just thought I saw a vamp up here."
"Okay...you ready to come back down?"
"Yep...sure." Buffy murmured absently taking the lead down the iron staircase as the two girls walked back to the table.