Chapter 1

Buffy rubbed her temples as she wandered through the house. Every where she turned there were screaming, arguing and giggling teenagers. There was no where to go, where she had 5 minutes to be alone.

Buffy saw Spike quickly exit the basement with an angry look on his face and putting his jacket on.

"Spike, what's going on?" Buffy asked as she came over to him.

Spike pointed to the basement then dropped his hands as he shook his head. "I'm going out." He finally said as he turned and headed to the front door.

Buffy walked over to the basement door and heard the loud voices coming up the stairs.That room is supposed to be off limits. Buffys jaw clenched as she closed her eyes, gripping the door knob so tightly she broke it. She shook her head, not wanting to fight right now, she put it off, not like they won't be here later.

Buffy rolled her eyes and put the knob on the table. *Xander can fix that later.* Buffy thought as she went upstairs to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and sat on the edge of the tub leaning back against the cold tile.

Buffys eyes flew open when she heard pounding on the door.

"Just a minute." Buffy said quietly as she started to stand.

Buffy opened the door and walked down the hall to her room.

Buffy sat on the edge of her bed as she watched girls walk back and forth past her door.

She flung herself back on the bed and closed her eyes.

Her eyes flew open when she heard her name being screamed, during an argument.

Buffy bolted up and went to her window. Taking a quick look back into the hall, she opened her window and slipped through out onto the roof, jumping and easily landing steadily on her feet. Without a backwards glance she quickly left the yard and headed off down the street.

Buffy just walked paying no attention to her destination until she found herself standing outside the Bronze.

She hesitated for a moment, slightly feeling guilty for leaving the house and not watching the girls.

*Being out for a little while should be alright.* Buffy told herself as she started walking through the doors. She went straight to the bar and ordered a diet coke.

When the drink was set in front of her she picked it up and slowly walked around the club. Eventually she went to the balcony and sat down. It wasn't too crowded tonight, so she had the balcony mostly to herself.

Buffy drained her glass and then played with the ice in the bottom of her glass. Letting out a deep breath she put her glass on the table. She sat for another minute enjoying the peace, knowing it was ending. Very shortly she wold be back in the house, without a even a bed to herself.

"Hello Buffy. Merry Christmas."

Buffy looked up to the man who now stood in front of her.

"Thanks...........Do I know you?" Buffy asked cautiously looking at her surroundings.

"Not formally. But I know you. They call me Jarod." He replied smiling as he took a seat across from her.

"Who are they? What do you mean not formally? Have we met before?" Buffy asked as she watched him intently.

"Ever the slayer aren't you." Jarod said as he shook his head. "You can relax, I'm not here to hurt you in any way." He added as he looked up to face her.

"You know what I am." Buffy said as she really started looking at her surroundings.

"Yes of course I do. Your the sole purpose I'm here right now." Jarod replied.

"Really. Why is that Jarod?" Buffy asked curiously.

"I was asked to come and give you something.......something only you know, that you want." Jarod replied simply.

"Who did the asking?" Buffy posture stiffened slightly.

Jarod let out a deep breath.

"You're not gonna let that one go are you?" Jarod asked smiling slightly.

"Not really, no." Buffy answered matter of factly.

He bowed his head and aquiensed. "I was sent by the Powers That Be. They have given me the task of granting you a wish. I'm filling the role of what you might call your Fairy Godfather, but I'm really pushing them to come up with a better name, something with a little more testosterone in it." Jarod replied.

Buffy just gaped at him. "You can't be serious." Buffy stated rather than asked.

"Yes, actually I am. They think you've earned it, and then some. They've been watching you since you were called. They know what you've done, what you've gone through, what you're going to go through. They wanted to give you something you really wanted." Jarod replied as he watched her reaction.

"They can't give me what I want." Buffy said as she stood up and started to walk away.

"Tell me what you want Buffy." Jarod said quietly.

Buffy stopped and slowly turned to face him.

"What I want is to have a real Christmas. The kind of Christmas I had before I became the Slayer. Before .......just the way it was before." Buffys voice hitched slightly. "See.........you can't give me what I want." Buffy said quietly as she turned and walked out of the club.

Buffy walked home slowly feeling more depressed than before she went out.

She turned up the walk to her house, climbed the steps then opened the door.

Her eyebrows rose in confusion at all the silence.

She walked in and set her jacket on the chair and gasped as she saw the christmas tree standing tall in the corner of the living room, beautifully decorated, with presents surrounding the base of the tree.

She went over and stood in front of the tree. Her hand lightly carressed one of the glass ornaments hung on a branch.

"Buffy please be careful. You know that bulb belonged to my grandmother. I swear, I have to tell you that every year." Joyce chided her as she came into the living room and sat on the sofa.

Buffy held her breath as she closed her eyes momentarily.

Slowly she opened her eyes and turned to see her mother reading a book and sipping a cup of tea.

"Mom." Buffy whispered.

Joyce looked up and frowned . "Buffy. What's wrong? Don't tell me you two had another fight." Joyce said as she came over and embrace her daughter.

Buffy held her tightly as she breathed in the scent of her mothers perfume.

Joyce pulled back and smothed Buffys hair away from her face.

"No. No fight. Had a fight with who?" Buffy asked still holding on tightly to Joyce.

"You had a fight." Joyce breathed. "It's the only time you ignore his existence."

Buffy smiled as she moved with her mom and sat on the sofa.

"He'll be here tomorrow night for Christmas eve, hopefully you'll sort things out by then." Joyce said as she sighed. "I swear you two are the most stubborn people I have ever seen." She added as she started to rise. "You can help me get things ready for tomorrow, there's alot of food to prepare." Joyce said as she led Buffy to the kitchen.

Chapter 2

Buffy had never been so happy to spend time in the kitchen cooking and prepping food. Every once in a while she would wipe a tear from her eye, but the smile never left her face.

Joyce and Buffy had just finished wiping down the counters and stove, when joyce went over to answer the ringing phone.

"Hello." Joyce said as she took a last look around the kitchen making sure evrything was put away.

"Hello mum." Spike replied happily. "How's my favorite girl doing on this fine night?"

Joyce chuckled. "Buffy's fine, she's right...........

"I happen to be talking about you. If I hadn't met Buffy first." Spike replied in a whimsical voice.

"Honey, you were seven. It would have been very illegal." Joyce said shaking her head.

"Hey. Love knows no age." Spike replied quickly.

"Alright, alright. It's about time you called. You two should really make up before tomorrow night." Joyce admonished.

"Make up? Make up for what?" Spike asked quizzically.

Joyce rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Two very stubborn people. I'll get Buffy." Joyce said as she put the phone down.

Spike closed his eyes trying to remember if he did anything to piss her off...............again.

Buffy sat at the counter watching the interaction between Joyce and obviously her boyfriend. Buffy was in awe to the fact she apparently had a boyfriend her mom loved.

"Buffy." Joyce said as she came to stand beside Buffy. "I'm turning in for the night. As you might have guessed William is on the phone. Go talk to him." Joyce said as she placed a kiss to Buffys forehead before turning and heading upstairs.

Buffy slowly made her way to the phone, taking a deep breath before bringing the phone up to her ear.

"Hello." Buffy said trying to sound casual, although she was anything but.

"Hey luv." Spike said worriedly.

Buffys jaw dropped. "Spike?"

"Umm.......yeah. Luv, is something wrong?" Spike replied.

"Uh....no. Why would anything be wrong?" Buffy asked quickly.

"Well.......mum said you were angry with me." Spike said quietly, sounding like a lost little boy.

Buffys stomach twisted slightly. "No. I'm not mad at you. I don't know where she got that idea from." Buffy replied quickly.

Spike smiled and relaxed a bit more as he got out of his car, closing the door.

"Well the reason I was calling was I wanted to tell you I missed you." Spike said as he walked up the side walk.

Buffy just smiled into the phone. "I........just a minute there's someone at the door." Buffy said as she walked out of the kitchen and headed for the door.

"Sure thing luv." Spike replied smiling.

Buffy walked to the door and slowly opened it.

Spike smiled and lowered his phone. "Hello love." Spike said as he stepped closer.

Buffy looked at the phone then back to Spike. She turned off her phone and let Spike in, a smile spreading accross her face.

"I couldn't sleep. I thought maybe you might be up for a drive." Spike said looking at her through hooded eyes.

Without even a second thought. "I'll get my jacket." Buffy said as she moved to the closet.

Spike helped her on with her jacket. Spike turned Buffy to face him, looking deeply into her eyes.

"What? Is something wrong?" Buffy asked as her brows furrowed.

"After all these years, you get more beautiful every single day." Spike replied breathlessly.

Buffy raised her head and placed a gentle kiss to his lips and slid her arms around his neck embracing him tightly.

Spikes arms went around her tiny waist and returned her embrace. He buried his face in her hair breathing in her scent.

"Shall we go luv." Spike said pulling back and guiding her to the door.

Buffy just nodded not trusting her voice.

They drove for awhile until Spike parked the car in front of a house.

"Rememeber this house luv." Spike said chuckling. "Whenever things at home got to be too much, I came here. You always found me though, and sat with me until sunrise. Then it became our home away from home." Spike said waggling his eyebrows. "Someone finally bought the old place. Lot's of work put into fixing it up though." Spike added as he saw the sold sign on the front lawn.

"How long have we been coming here Spike?" Buffy asked quietly.

"Let's see. I was nine when I found this old place. So I'd say around twelve years." Spike said as he started the car. "The last time was three months ago." Spike said as he smirked and clucked his tongue.

Buffy couldn't help but smile.

**********************

Spike pulled up in front of Buffys house and turned off the car.

"It's late baby. You should get some sleep, it's going to be a long day tomorrow." Spike said as he placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

Buffy nodded and got out of the car and started up the walk way. Stopping halfway she slowly turned and looked back at Spike.

Spike watched her as he got out of the car.

"Luv, you alright?" Spike asked as he slowly walked around the car and up the walk, stopping withing inches of her.

Buffy hesitantly brought her hand up and carressed his cheek, staring into his eyes. Spike leaned into her touch, bringing his hand up and placing his hand over hers, gripping it lightly and turning his head to kiss her palm.

"Stay with me." Buffy finally said just above a whisper.

Spike smiled tenderly as he put his arm around her shoulder, hugging her to his side as he guided them up the steps and into the house.

********************

Buffy closed her bedroom door, locking it quietly behind her. Turning around she saw Spike standing at the side of her bed watching her, waiting for her.

Buffy smiled as she walked over and stood in front of him. Bringing her hands up to rest on his chest.

Thoughts running rampant, her mind screaming, *What are you doing, this is Spike, you can't do this.* But as Buffy looked into his eyes and saw the love so openly displayed she smiled.

Spike lowered his head and captured her lips in a slow, deep kiss that made her knees buckle.

They undressed one another touching and carressing every where.

Spike lifted Buffy and laid her in the bed pinning her beneath him.

Spike kissed her hungrily moving from her lips to her neck, nipping lightly and trailing kisses down chest catching her nipple between his teeth.

Buffy gasped as his tongue circled areola before flicking her nipple with his tongue. Buffys hand tangled in his hair as he began to suck greedily not showiing favoritism, didvivding his attention equally on each breast.

Slowly he trailed kisses down her abdomen as he lowered himself further down her body.

He placed a kiss on the inside of her thighs as he positioned himself between her legs.

Spike dipped his head and ran his tongue lightly over clit, causing Buffy to squirm.

Spike smiled as he did it again only not so lightly this time. He bagan licking and sucking as he inserted his finger, bent slightly and turned, so when he pumped into her, he would hit her g-spot.

Buffys breath became short, shallow breaths, her moans became more as she she writhed under his ministrations.

Spike used his thumb to rub her nubbin as he continued to assault her, unmercilessly.

Buffy hips bucked up as she bit back a scream as she began to orgasm.

Spiked lapped up her spendings greedily, not stopping his ministrations.

Buffy never had a chance to calm down when her second orgasm crashed through her, sending her over the edge.

"Spike." Buffy screamed forgetting her mother was in the other room.

Buffys back arched off the bed, fallinf back down when she was spent.

Breathing heavily her head flopped to the side as she closed her eyes.

Spike slowly moved up to lay on top of her, positioning himself at her entrance.

Spike kissed her neck lightly as her arms automatically went around him.

Turning her head she quickly captured his lips in hers. tasting herself on his lips, her tongue begging for entrance.

Spike parted his lips as he deepened the kiss and slowly slid into her until he filled her completely.

Buffy gasped as Spike closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, trying to gain control. Spike rested his forehead against hers, as he started to invade her slowly and deeply with every thrust.

Buffy broght her legs up around his waist causing him to thrust harder.

Buffy captured his lips ferociously as they became frantic with need.

They matched thrust for thrust, harder and harder as Spike slammed into her over and over again.

Spike gasped when he felt his orgasm building.

Spike looked down when he heard Buffy moaning, seeing she was to climax he pumped even faster and harder.

They both went over the egde clinging to each other like a life line.

Spike collapsed and buried his face in her neck.

"Love you." Spike whispered in her ear.

Tears fell from Buffys eyes, as she realized something at that very moment.

"I love you too." Buffy replied quietly.

Spike raised his head and looked at her worriedly. Spike wped away her tears as he placed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"What's wrong Buffy?" Spike asked as he watched her.

"Nothings wrong. I........I just realized......how much I love you." Buffy replied as she brought her hand up and cupped his face.

"I've always loved you. Have since the first moment I saw you. It will always be you Buffy." Spike replied as he moved to lay beside her. He hugged her to him as he carressed her arm before falling into a deep and restful sleep.

Chapter 3

Buffy awoke to the sound of rustling beside her. Slowly she opened her eyes to see Spike getting dresses and trying to be very quiet.

"Hey." Buffy said quietly looking at Spike.

Spike turned and smiled. "Morning luv." Spiked crawled onto the bed and placed a kiss on her lips gently.

"What are you doing? Are you leaving?" Buffy asked as her brows furrowed in worry.

"Yeah. I have a few things to do before tonight. Technically, I wasn't supposed to be here until then." Spike said as he nibbled her neck.

Buffy relaxed and wrapped her arms around him.

"What time will you be here?" Buffy asked as she breathed in his scent.

"Around eight or nine. You won't miss me too much. All your mates will be here." Spike said as he backed out of her arms and stood up and put his jacket on.

"Yes I will. Miss you." Buffy said as she started to rise.

"How 'bout we have breakfast together before I shove off." Spike said as he came around to the foot of the bed.

"Sounds good." Buffy said as they left the room and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"That was so good." Buffy said as she got up and put her plate in the sink.

"Thanks luv." Spike said as his plate joined hers.

Spike leaned over and placed a lingering kiss to her lips.

"I have to go if I want to make it back here on time." Spike said as he walked over and opened the back door.

"Love you, see you tonight." Spike said as he closed the door.

Buffy watched the door close. "Love you too." Buffy replied more to herself than to Spike.

"Buffy. You're up." Joyce said as she came into the kitchen. "Was that Spike that just left?"

"Yeah." Buffy said as she put her glass in the sink.

"So you made up lastnight. I'm glad, wouldn't want you two fighting during the Christmas party tonight." Joyce said as she poured a glass of juice.

"Right.......all made up." Buffy said as she started to fill the sink with soapy water. "Oh, Spike made breakfast, he put yours in the oven to keep warm."

Joyce pulled out the plate from the oven. "You really hit it lucky Buffy. A man who knows his way around a kitchen." Joyce said as she inhaled the aroma of french toast and saucages.

Buffy just looked down and turned off the tap. *Yeah........real lucky.* Buffy thought, knowing none of this was real. Also knowing it would be over soon.

Thoughts of Spike, Willow and Xander were running through her brain. Giles would be so disappointed, Xander.....he would be disgusted and wouldn't hold back any comments about what or who Buffy should be doing. Willow........would probably be disappointed as well, but might not say anything and possibly be supportive.

Buffy just shook her head pushing her thoughts away, not wanting to deal with them right now.

**********************

"Buffy. Willow and Xander are here." Joyce yelled up the stairs as she went through to the kitchen.

"Okay mom." Buffy replied coming to the stairs and begginning her descent.

"Lookin buff Buff."Xander said smiling as he came to stand beside Willow near the kitchen door.

"Thank you Xander." Buffy said happily taking a last look at her appearance in the mirror. Buffy had chosen to wear a black spaghetti strap, ankle length dress. Low cut, with very little back. A slit went up to almost the top of her thigh. She chose matching black high heeled shoes.

"You two look great." Buffy replied as she took in their appearance.

Willow smiled and Xander ducked his head.

"When are the others getting here?" Buffy asked.

"Giles had a few things to do. Oz will be here in a few minutes." Willow replied.

"Anyas in the kitchen with your mom." Xander answered.

"Buffy, can you and your friends finish setting up while I change?" Joyce said as she dropped her apron on the counter.

"Sure mom. We can handle it." Buffy said as they started grabbing platters and setting the buffet table.

An hour later the party was in full swing. Christmas music was playing and everyone was having a good time.

Buffy found a quiet spot to herself and watched her mom and friends from a darkened corner.

A smile stayed on her lips when she saw her mom and Giles laughing together.

"This is the way it should have been." Buffy said quietly.

"The way what should have been?" Spike said as he came over and placed a kiss to her cheek.

"You're here. I didn't see you come in." Buffy said as she laid her head on his chest wrapping her arms around him.

"Came in through the back door." Spike replied.

They just held eachother and watched everyone from their hiding place.

Spike broke the silence as he pulled apart slightly and looked into her eyes.

"I was going to wait until tomorrow. But it feels right to do it now." Spike said as Buffy looked at him questioningly.

"Buffy. We've known each other for a very long time. When I moved here, I was a scared seven year old little boy. I knew nothing about America and really didn't want too. I begged my parents to move back home. Then a couple months later I ran into this girl. Well actually she ran into me....literally." Spike chuckled as his finger tapped the end of Buffys nose. Buffy smiled as she listened intently to Spikes tale of how he met her. Wishing she really was the Buffy of which he was talking about.

"She became my best friend. We were inseperable. I remember climbing in your window in the middle of the night when my parents would get going, you would hold me and we would curl up on your bed and talk until we fell asleep. Then when things got worse, I found an old empty house to hide out in. But somehow you tracked me down and wiped away my tears. The bruises on the outside eventually went away, but everything you did and said kept them from making their way into my heart. You were not only my best friend, you were my confidant. I told you everything, never hid anything from you. Then we became more.

That one night you came to me in that old house. My father had done a real good job with his fists that night. We were fifteen then. You cried so hard when you saw the cuts and bruises. We wiped away eachothers tears that night." Spike said as he wiped a tear that was falling down Buffys cheek.

"Then you raised your eyes and looked straight into mine. Then you leaned in and kissed me. We had never kissed anyone before, so it was another first for us. When you pulled away you pushed the hair from my eyes and then...........then you looked right at me and told me you loved me. I knew right then that you were the one. You were everything to me. You were my world Buffy. We made love for the first time that night. I'll never forget that night as long as I live. It's been nine years since that fist night, and the feelings have only strengthened.

You were the first girl I've ever loved. The only woman I ever want to.

Marry me Buffy. There's no one for me but you." Spike said as he looked lovingly into Buffys eyes.

Buffys body trembled as fresh tears fell and her breath became laboured.

Buffy could only watch him. She wasn't able to form words, not trusting her voice.

Spikes brows furrowed. "Buffy. Don't you want to marry me?" Spike asked painfully, feeling his heart fall to the floor.

When Buffy didn't respond Spike slowly pulled back and started to walk away.

He was stopped by Buffys iron clad grip on his jacket. He turned and looked at her confused.

Buffy nodded her head as she pulled him back to her.

"Yes. My answer is yes." Buffy finally squeeked out.

Spike smiled and pulled her to him. After releasing her, he pulled a ring off his pinky finger.

"I beleive this belongs to you." Spike said as he slipped the diamond ring onto her finger.

Buffy didn't even look at the ring she just put her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.

"I love you." Buffy said as she sobbed lightly on his shoulder.

"I wanna hear you say what my name is going to be."

Spike chuckled. "Mrs. William Pendleton." He whispered in her ear.

Buffy smiled and tightened her enbrace.

Chapter 4

Spike and Buffy tried to remain hidden in their darkened corner, enjoying the solitude, but eventually they brought out of their own private world by Joyce when she noticed they hadn't been seen for awhile.

Joyce walked over and stood in front of them crossing her arms.

"Really Buffy. We have guests, you should be out there making every effort to make them feel welcome." Joyce said trying to sound angry, but failing when she saw how happy her daughter was. "Spike I think your becoming a bad influence on her." Joyce said smiling.

"Sorry mom. You're right, I'll be there in a minute." Buffy replied as she brought her hand up and wiped the last tear away.

Joyce eyes caught the movement and her gaze landed on the ring Buffy was wearing on her finger.

"Oh my god. You two are finally getting married." Joyce whispered and then looked into their eyes for confirmation.

Spike smiled and ducked his head shyly and Buffy smiled and nodded to her mother.

Joyce quickly enveloped them in a hug as her tears started to fall.

"Mom don't cry, you'll get me started again." Buffy said as she hugged her tightly.

"I'm just so happy for you, both of you." Joyce replied as she pulled back and cupped Spike and Buffys cheeks.

"We would like to keep it quiet. We'll tell everyone, but for now we just want to enjoy it privately." Spike said quietly to Joyce.

"I understand. I won't say a word. Now come on you two, people have noticed your absence. And if you want to keep this quiet, I suggest you put your ring on another finger." Joyce said as she winked and walked away.

Buffy looked at the ring and then at Spike. "I don't want to take it off." Buffy said quietly.

"Here." Spike said as he removed her ring and put on her other hand. Spike then removed his ring and placed it on her ring finger. "Now you'll be wearing a ring, for tonight this will be a substitute. After the party we'll put this one back where it belongs." Spike said.

"I've never seen you wear this ring before." Buffy replied looking at his ring.

"It's a matched set. Your engagement ring........and mine." Spike said smiling.

"Men have engagement rings?" Buffy questioned.

"Course we do. Most men just won't wear them. I've always sported a ring Buffy. Now this is just an official one." Spike said as he led her by the elbow back out into the crowd of party goers.

The party lasted to the wee hours of the morning.

After bidding goodnight to the last of the guests Buffy leaned against the door and let out a long sigh.

Buffy pushed herself off the door and went into the livingroom.

Spike was picking up napkins and plates and clearing away the glasses.

Buffy went to the dining room where Joyce was doing the same.

"Mom, I'll bring the food to the kitchen and you can wrap it and put it away. I'll clean up out here. Spikes got the livingroom." Buffy said as she picked up a couple platters and followed Joyce into the kitchen.

Onec Buffy brought all the left overs to the kitchen she stayed helping Joyce put it all away, while they talked and laughed.

Buffy knew her time was coming to an end and wanted to spend some time with her.

Spike came in carrying a trash bag and a handful of glasses.

Buffy started to get up and go clean the dining room when Spike layed a hand on her should stopping her from rising.

She looked at Spike questioningly.

Spike shook his head. "I'll get it. You stay with your mum." Spike whispered in her ear then place a kiss on her cheek.

Giving her a wink as he grabbed another bag he went to the dining room.

"I wish your father had been like him. Boy did he ever change after we got married." Joyce said as she watched Spike disappear to the other room.

"Do all men change after they get married?" Buffy questioned.

"Not all. Most I think. But Spike is different from them Buffy.

You've know eachother, and have been together since you were children. You may not have been boyfriend/girlfriend when you were young but neither of you was ever with anyone else. It's almost like you two knew you were supposed to be together even at that age." Joyce sighed.

"I remember the first time you brought William home. You two were seven, and his lip was bleeding. You had swung down from the limb of a tree and landed on top of him, breaking his lip open and chipping his front tooth." Joyce said chuckling. "After that he was a common fixture around this house. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. William was a good boy and he became a good man." Joyce said quietly as she reached over and carressed the side her face.

Buffy smiled warmly and clasped Joyce' hand.

"Congratualations Buffy. I love you." Joyce sais she stood up and came to Buffys side.

"Thanks mom. I love you too." Buffy said as she moved into Joyce' arms.

"How are my two favorite women doing?" Spike said as he brought in the trash and glasses from the dining room.

Joyce and Buffy looked up from the pie they were snacking on and smiled.

"I just have to take the garbage out then I'm finished." Spike said as he opened the back door.

"Thank you William." Joyce said as she poured hot water into a cup.

"Buffy can you hand me.........." Joyce started to say.

"I'm on it." Buffy said a she reached into the cupboard and pulled out the bag of marshmellows.

As Joyce made the hot chocolate Buffy loaded all the glasses into the dishwasher and turned it on.

"That could have waited until morning Buffy." Joyce said chuckling.

"This way we're getting up to a clean house." Buffy replied shrugging slightly.

Spike walked back in and sat in his usual spot at the counter. Buffy sitting beside him and Joyce accross the counter.

Joyce sat the hot chocolate in front Spike.

Spike smiled as he lifted the mug and took a drink. Joyce and Buffy chuckled when he lowered his mug and he had a marshmellow mustache.

Spikes tongue darted out and licked the mustache off. They sat arond and talked until about five in the morning.

Joyce stood up and stretched her arms. "I think it's time we all got some sleep."

"Last year we lasted until six." Spike replied as he stiffled a yawn.

"The year before that I think it was seven thirty." Joyce said shaking her head.

"I prefer having this time just for the three of us. We can sleep in and then exchange gifts, have a relaxing dinner. I like our tradition." Joyce added smiling.

"Yeah. We've been doing this since I was ten." Spike said shaking his head and smiling.

"That was the first year we did it. You two were having so much fun. It being your first time spending Christmas with us because you're parents were away on business, I didn't want it to end. You two were laughing and enjoying helping me clean up, that it just became a tradition." Joyce said remembering as she headed to the door way. "Try not to stay up too much longer." Joyce said as she went upstairs.

Buffy and Spike sat a little longer before following Joyce and going to bed.

They fell into a heap on the bed, limbs entwined, whispering words of love and devotion until the sun began to rise over the rooftops.

They fell asleep in each others arms, happy and content.

Chapter 5

Buffy and Spike woke up to a tapping on their door.

"Come on you two. It's two o'clock. Time to get up and open gifts." Joyce said as she headed towards the stairs.

Spike and Buffy looked at each other and smiled as they threw off the cover and put some clothes on quickly.

They both raced for the door and ran down the stairs right into the livingroom.

Joyce laughed and shook her head at their disheveled look all the while they looked at the gifts intently under the tree.

They both smelled the coffee and raced to the kitchen to grab a cup.

They both walked back into the livingroom more slowly as they inhaled the aroma and sipped the drinks.

Buffy and Spike both sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and grabbed a muffin from the plate Joyce had brought in.

"Well the first order of business today is this." Spike said as he grabbed Buffys hand and took his ring off and slid it back onto his ring finger and put Buffys engagement ring back where it belonged. Then he placed a kiss on top of it.

"Thank you." Buffy whispered as she leaned in and kissed his lips gently. Each saying I love you without saying a word.

After they finished their coffees they began to unwrap all the gifts they spoiled one another with.

Aside from jewelry and candy, cd's and smaller gifts like that. Joyce had been given an all expences paid trip the Venice from Spike and Buffy. Which brought her to tears, knowing they had to have been saving for that for a long time.

Spike and Buffy both opened their last gift at the same time. Buffy pulled out a key with a tag that read "All my love.......Spike".

Spike pulled out a key as well. The tag on it read "Forever yours....Buffy." It also had a small note telling him to go to the garage.

Buffy looked at Spike curiously, Spike looked at her the same way.

"Well let's go see what it is." Joyce said jumping up and grabbing her jacket.

Buffy followed Joyce and Spike out to the garage. Buffy knew what the gift was, having taken a peek at this Buffys diary yesterday before the party.

Spike opened the garage and his jaw dropped as he walked in his fingers lightly carressing the black Desoto.

"Buffy." Spike whispered.

"I know. I don't really like the car. But you loved it. And I knew you couldn't afford it, so I bought it and had it fixed up. It actually doesn't look to bad." Buffy beamed.

Spike ran over and enveloped her in a tight embrace.

"She's all gassed up if you want to take her for a spin." Buffy said hugging him back.

Spike pulled back and smiled. "Come on." Spike led her to the passenger side. "Get in. You too mum."

"Where are we going?" Joyce asked as she climbed in.

"To see Buffys present." Spike said as he slipped in and started the car.

Spike smiled the whole time he was driving.

Spike pulled over and shut off the engine. "We're here." He said as he hopped out and ran to the other side of the car opening the door and helping them out.

Buffy looked at Spike in amazement.

"This is........" Buffy started but couldn't finish.

"Now it really is our house." Spike whispered in her ear.

He led them up the walk, having Buffy use her key to unlock the door.

They stepped inside and looked around.

"It will completely fixed up in a few months." Spike said smiling as he looked around at his handywork.

"I've always loved this old house."Joyce replied. "It's good to see that it's going to be in good hands." Joyce added as she looked around at the old Victorian styled house. "The original owners moved here from London almost 150 years ago. Thay had this built so it would remind them of home." Joyce added whistfully.

"How did you know that?" Buffy asked.

Joyce shrugged her shoulders. "I like history. Learned some of the towns history just after we moved here."

They finished touring the house and headed back to Joyces and settled in making a light dinner and watching Christmas movies.

**************************

In bed that night buffy watched Spike sleep until she couldn't keep her eyes open and sleep overtook her.

****************************

Buffy opened her eyes to the loud chatter of girls arguing over the bathroom. She sat up and looked around to see she was in her own room.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before throwing off the covers.

Willow walked into the room.

"Buffy you're awake." Willow said excitedley. "We were so worried about you."

"Why?" Buffy said puzzled.

"Spike saw you walk in the other night and said you were staring at the wall as if you were seeing something. Then he heard you say something and watched you come up here. You never came back down. That was two days ago." Willow finished as she sat down next to her.

"I've benn asleep for two days?" Buffy said bewildered.

"Yeah. We were really worried Buffy." Willow said as she scrunched her eyebrows.

"Well I feel fine. Must have just needed the sleep." Buffy replied.

************************

Buffy showered and changed quickly and went downstairs, wanting to see Spike.

"Enough with the lurking Spike. Willow said she was fine. Last thing she needs or wants is you hovering around her." Xander said heatedly.

"I just want to make sure she's alright." Spike said through clenched teeth.

Buffy heard the discussion from outside the door and her heart fell. They would never accept it. Would never accept them.

Buffy took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey whatcha doin?" Buffy said in her best chipper tone she could muster.

"Hey Buff. Nothing much except waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up." Xander said smiling.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Sorry about that. I must have been more tired than I thought." Buffy replied skimming over the subject.

Her eyes looked up to meet pure blue. She smiled slightly and nodded letting Spike know she was okay.

He returned her smile and turned around and went to the basement closing the door behind him.

Chapter 6

Buffy stood in front of the basement door. Her hand gripped the door handle tightly, she was about to turn it.

"Hey Buffy. The S.I.T's are in the backyard ready and waiting for ya." Willow said as she came up behind Buffy.

Buffy quickly dropped her hand and turned to face Willow. Plastering on her best smile.

" 'Kay Will. I'll be right there." Buffy said as she moved away from the door.

Willow smiled back and handed Buffy a cup of coffee. "Thought you might need this first. Kennedy is going through warm ups with them until you get there." Willow said taking a sip of tea.

"Thanks." Buffy said quietly taking the cup and slowly moving to the kitchen.

Spike came into the kitchen while Buffy and Willow sat at the counter.

"Morning." Spike mumbled as he walked to the fridge and pulled out some blood.

Buffy watched him through hooded eyes as he warmed his blood.

"When you have time later we should talk." Buffy said quietly. "About strategies and stuff." Buffy added quickly. Damn it. Why can't I just tell him. I can save the world, fight demons, but I can't tell a guy how I feel about him. Buffy thought raking herself over the coals.

"Always have the time." Spike responded evenly draining his cup quickly.

"Well I better get out there." Buffy said pushing her cup aside and rising. She looked at Spike as she walked by and quickly tore her gaze from his when their eyes met.

Spike stood there a moment longer then retreated back to the basement.

*****************

Over the next few months it went the same way. Whenever she tried to talk to Spike alone they were always interrupted.

Things went from bad to worse. They were fighting, but not gaining any ground. S.I.T's were slowly being picked off and everyone was on edge.

"This is my house too.....

Buffy looked at Dawn in shock as the tears welled in her eyes. She looked at Faith who's _expression mirrored her own.  Buffy turned and walked out the door.

******************

"I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your strength

and your kindness. I've seen the best and worst of you and I understand

with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You're

the one Buffy." Spike said softly kneeling in front of her.

'Tell him.' Buffy kept telling herself.

"Hold me." Was all she could say as she moved over allowing Spike to come and lay beside her, curling into his side feeling protected.

>>>>"I don't know how you feel about lastnight.......

>>>>"Terrified."

>>>>>>>>"Maybe when.........."

Spike cut her off and never let her finish.

******************

"Angel." Buffy breathed as she flew into his arms and met his waiting lips. The years of wanting to be with him coming to the forefront and taking over.

Buffy pulled away, realizing that it wasn't the same. Her feeling for Angel were still there, but not strong like they had once been. It had been the fantasy of a young girl, not the reality of the woman she had become.

"It may take years....if ever." Buffy said knowing it was the latter. He was in her heart, a small part. Spike encompassed her entire being.

>>>>"You can't stay here......you still have Angel breath."

>>>>"I don't know what I would've done if you had gone up those stairs." Spike said quietly as Buffy carressed his cheek.

>>>>"I just realized something I hadn't thought of before. We're gonna win." Buffy said smiling as she looked at Spike. After the fight, I'll tell him. Buffy thought inwardly, knowing they were going to win, tomorrow would be the end of the First and the beginning of something new for them.

Buffy moved back into Spikes arms as they layed back down, with thoughts of tomorrow comsuming them both.

******************

>>>>"You beat them back. It's for me to do the clean up."

Buffys tears began to fall. It had never occured to her that Spike wouldn't make. Spike was immortal, he was supposed to live forever.

>>>>"You've done enough, you can still........

>>>>"I mean it. I gotta do this.......

Buffy reached out and entwined her fingers with his. Oblivious to the flames that engulfed them. She looked at Spike as pure light emanated from him.

>>>>"I love you." Buffy said as she looked deeply into his eyes.

Spike smiled slightly as he tillted his head.

>>>>"No you don't. But thanks for saying it."

*********************

Buffy stood on the edge of the crater that was once Sunnydale watching the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign fall to the bottom.

"What on earth could have done this?" Giles said as he came to stand behind Buffy.

Buffys throat tightened and only managed to say one word.

"Spike." As a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

************************

Four weeks later.................

After the amulet fell to the floor of Angels office, a strong gust of wind occompanied by a swirling black mist rose from the amulet.

"AHHHHHHHHHH."

"Spike." Angel spit out.