Delicacies For The Undead


Written by: Pattyanne
 Author's Website





Summary: An answer to Shippy's challenge for a "Menstruation" fic.
Requirements:
1. R or NC-17
2. Not AU
3. Funny, dramatic or romantic. No angst.
4. Blood play for pain relief/pleasure
5. Mention that slayers blood is a delicacy to a vampire.
6. Debate the pros and cons of tampons/pads
7. One or more scoobies must learn about it, preferably by accident.
8. Contain the word "Eeww" as a remark of distaste.
Disclaimer: The show Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of it's characters belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, & Fox Prod.
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"Great," Buffy muttered, digging through her purse. "Just what I needed right now."

Unable to find what she wanted by groping around in the bag, she upended it on the sofa. Make-up, a hair- brush, three pens with no ink in them, half a pack of strawberry bubble gum, house keys, a video rental card with holes punched in it, a reminder from her dentist that she was overdo to have her teeth cleaned, a hair barrette, seven rubber bands, three expired coupons for breakfast cereal, and a mountain of loose change were scattered on the sofa.

Everything but a partridge in a pear tree poured out of her purse. Everything, except the thing she needed at that precise moment.

Buffy looked up when she heard Dawn coming down the stairs.

"Why are you cleaning out your purse at this time of night?" she asked Buffy.

"Never mind that," the slayer replied. "Do you have any tampons?"

Dawn shrugged. "Aren't there any in the bathroom cabinet?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "If there were, why would I ask if you have one?" she said impatiently.

"Hey, don't get pissy at me just because you're on the rag," Dawn protested. "It's not my fault you were born female."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Buffy said. "I'm cranky, I know."

Dawn was inclined to let the matter go. "I'll check up- stairs." A minute later, she was back. "All I could find were these," she said, tossing a package to Buffy.

Buffy stared at it with an utter lack of enthusiasm. "I hate using pads," she whined. "I always feel like I'm wearing a diaper."

"Me, too," Dawn said sympathetically. "It's no fun riding the cotton pony."

In spite of her irritation, Buffy had to laugh. "Where did you pick up that little phrase?"

Her sister grinned. "Where else? The girls bathroom at school."

"Nice to know what my taxes are paying for," Buffy replied archly, looking at the package in her hand with an expres- sion of distaste. "Guess I'm stuck with it. It's too late to go to the store."

Sighing with an air of unfair suffering, she went upstairs and changed her soiled tampon for a pad.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy was in the living room watching a bad movie on channel nine, and holding a heating pad against her cramping lower abdomen. She'd already swallowed four Midol tablets, but they had only taken the edge off her discomfort.

The front door opened, and she turned and saw Spike come in. "Hi!" she greeted him, trying to sound cheery.

He seemd to be in a hurry. "Hi, yourself, cutie," he said, heading in the direction of the kitchen. "Back in a flash, sweetheart. I haven't eaten all day and I'm fucking starv......"

He stopped suddenly, turning to face her. "Buffy? Are you wearing a new perfume?"

"No. Why?"

Spike grinned. "Because you smell sensational, luv."

Buffy stared at her lover suspiciously. They had only been sleeping together for a couple of weeks, but she recognized the look on his face.

He paced slowly towards her. She realized his intent, and jumped to her feet. "Oh, no you don't!" she said shrilly, dodging behind the sofa. "You just keep your distance!"

"Buffy..." He said her name cajolingly.

"I mean it, Spike. One more move and you'll go down!"

If possible, his grin became wider at the comment.

"That's NOT what I mean," she said quickly.

Spike eased off his coat, letting it drop to the floor. "Come on, baby," he coaxed her sweetly. "Come to daddy."

"No!"

He began to make his way around the sofa. Buffy moved when he did, keeping it between them.

"But, baby...I'm starving," he pleaded, a teasing light dancing in his eyes.

"There's blood in the fridge," she replied. "Help your- self."

Spike inched closer, pouting like a little boy. "It's cold."

Buffy inched away. "Then warm it up! You know how the microwave works."

He paused for a moment, then lunged a few feet for- ward.

Buffy squealed and ducked out of the way. "Leave me alone!"

Spike ignored her demand. "Probably no one has ever told you this, but Slayer's blood is a delicacy to a vamp. And the monthly blood is the sweetest of all."

By now, they were at opposite ends of the sofa. All the jumping around was worsening Buffy's cramps.

She must have made a face, because he looked concerned. "Cramps?" he guessed.

"Yes!" she barked at him. "And this isn't helping!"

Spike licked his lips. "I can make them go away," he offered.

"No, thanks," Buffy said. "I'll stick with the Midol."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "But you don't know what you're missing."

Actually, she knew EXACTLY what she was missing. Spike was shockingly adept at the art of oral sex. He'd brought her to many splendid orgasms, using only his tongue.

She skittered away from him as he moved towards her.

Spike sighed. "Buffy, I am NOT going to chase you around the furniture like some lecherous king after a chambermaid."

Buffy was assimilating that remark when he suddenly vaulted over the back of the sofa. "Hey!" she shrieked in surprise, eluding him again.

He pursued her, chasing her into the kitchen, cornering her beside the fridge.

To her intense surprise, Buffy began to feel the whole idea take on a certain kinky appeal. She felt a twinge of sexual arousal down in her vitals, spoiled only by her damnable cramps.

Spike sensed the change, picking up the scent of that arousal, deliciously mingled with the aroma of her menstrual blood.

"You know you want to," he said smoothly. "Something deep inside of you wants to let me do it"

Buffy still attempted to deny it. "Something a little closer to the surface is gonna punch you in the nose if you try it," she warned him, pointing one finger at him.

At this point, Spike's hard on was as ravenous for her as his belly was. Just the idea of licking that sweet nectar out of her was making him light headed.

"Can I just say one thing?" he asked her, using that deep tone of voice that made her quiver. "I promise you...I'll give you the sweetest orgasm you've ever had." He leaned forward, almost whispering. "I'll make you come so hard you'll see stars."

Buffy was weakening in her resolve. He was making the whole thing sound so damn sexy. Looking up into his eyes, she massaged her aching middle. "Can you really...um...make the cramps go away?" she asked meekly.

"Uh-huh," he nodded, controlling an urge to pounce on her and drag her down to the floor.

Buffy thought it over, then moved away from him, heading for the stairs. She paused, and said, "I think I'll go and take a shower."

Spike smiled, picking up her intent as clearly as though she'd stated it out loud.

Unbuttoning his shirt, he followed her up the stairs.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy stripped down to her underpants, staring at her- self in the mirror. Her eyes were drawn to the bulge the pad made between her legs.

**At least I can take that thing off for a while...**

She was leaning into the tub and turning on the faucets, when she heard the door open and close. Smiling, she turned to face him.

Spike surprised her by pulling her away from the bathtub. Placing both hands under her arms, he lifted her to sit on the bathroom counter.

It was cold beneath her rear, and she gave him a puzzled look. "What gives?"

Trying to keep his eager hands from shaking, he tugged her panties down and off. "Not in the shower," he explained. "I don't want to lose one bit of it down the drain."

"Eeww!" she said, giving him a litte push. "Do you have to talk like that?"

"Yes." Bending slightly, he draped her legs over his shoulders as he inhaled the intoxicating fragrance rising from between her legs.

Without a pause, he dipped his head and licked her from bottom to top. His eyes nearly rolled back at the taste. "Mmmm," he moaned in his throat, licking her again.

The vibration of his voice sent a little shock through her. "Ahh!"

Slipping his tongue inside her, he probed deeply with it.

His ministrations were causing her flow to increase, and he swallowed every sticky drop. Husky grunts and growls came from him as he worked over her.

Buffy's hips were rising into the air, almost involuntarily. She always loved it when Spike went down on her, but she seemed to be extra sensitive to it tonight.

Chalking it up to menstruation, she let her mind wander any where it chose to.

Spike was becoming slightly drunk on her elixer. He'd been right, this was the sweetest, richest flavor he'd ever encountered in all of his existence. He sucked it in greedily, grinding his lower face against her.

Down below, his erection throbbed to be where his tongue was now. With a massive effort of will, he ignored it, concentrating on pleasing Buffy. If he made this as good for her as he'd promised, this could very well become a monthly occurence.

Glancing up at her face, he saw that her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted. Her breathing was erratic, a sound he'd come to recognize over the last couple of weeks.

It was the soft, breathy sighs she made when she was close to orgasm.

Pushing his tongue in even deeper, he moved one hand up and fingered her clit.

Her entire lower half stiffened and jerked spasmodically as she came in his mouth. Her flow increased yet again, and he drank down the mixture of blood and come.

Although he could have stayed longer, his erection was demanding a little attention. Pulling her ass closer to the edge of the counter, he stood up and positioned his cock at her wet entrance.

Buffy's eyes flew open wide as he slid in all the way. "Spike!"

"Right here, baby," he whispered. "Gonna put it right inside your tight little pussy...gonna fuck you hard...mmm, yeah. Tight and slick...just the way I like it."

This was also something new to her. Dirty talking during sex. The first time he'd whispered raunchy comments in her ear as he was pounding into her, she'd come instantly.

Spike kept up his rhythmic thrusts, pumping in and pulling out. "Gonna fuck me, baby? Hmmm? Gonna give it to me good, little girl?"

Before she could even form a response, he took her mind completely in another direction when he lowered his head and took her right breast into his mouth, sucking the tight rose nipple to a hard point, laving it over and over with his tongue.

"Such pretty tits," he murmured, kissing a path to the left one. "Taste sweet...hard like cherries."

Buffy arched her back, pushing herself into his mouth.

He sucked, and licked, and bit down gently on her nipples, moving back and forth.

They both sensed the climax approaching, and Spike straightened up and began to ram in and out of her, pis- toning himself in like a machine.

Buffy moaned softly, but the pleasure became so intense that she couldn't control herself. When she began to come, she lifted her hips and ground herself into him, screaming his name.

Spike grunted harshly, delivering his final thrusts. As he started to ejaculate, he yanked her up into his arms and molded her against him, holding her tightly. "Buffy! I...I love you....love you...."

"I...love...you...too!" she panted, collapsing into his en- circling arms.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


On her way downstairs to get a glass of water, Dawn paused in the hallway outside the bathroom. The sounds she was hearing were not entirely unfamiliar ones, but they usually came from Buffy's bedroom.

"Oh, I don't believe this," she muttered. "They can't give it a rest for one night? And Buffy's...well, that's just icky."

As she descended the stairs, she shrugged off the slight feeling of distaste, figuring that it must be a "vampire" thing.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"You were right," Buffy said as Spike withdrew from her. "I saw lots and lots of stars, and my cramps are gone."

Grinning at her in a smug way, he followed her glance down between them. "Told you so."

His cock hadn't softened yet, and it was an interesting shade of red, courtesy of the slayer's blood smeared all over it.

He stared at it for a long moment, then looked back up.

Buffy smiled. "Go ahead. I dare you."
 


THE END


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