Every Night


Written by: Trish


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Summary: Buffy seeks comfort in Spike after her mother's death. Spoilers up to 'The Body'.
Distribution: My site and Raven's site. Everyone else please ask first.
Disclaimer: The show Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of it's characters belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, & Fox Prod.
Authors notes: Lyrics are from Eve 6, "Inside Out" This one's for the Media One cable company for having the cable go out, and making me listen to the radio, thus getting this song stuck in my head. :) Also to Raven for not making fun of me for the random songs that get stuck in my head at all the time. :)
Feedback: I'm completely addicted to it. It's like a drug. Much cheaper though, and no bad side effects. :) skittlez143m@aol.com


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I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rhines,
but the lack therof would leave me empty inside.
I would swallow my doubt, turn it inside out,
find nothing but faith in nothing.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,
watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion...

Once Spike finally escaped his reality and was swept away by sweet dreams, he was woken up by the same thing that had awakened him every night for the past week; Buffy was crawling into his bed next to him.

Ever since her mother had died, Buffy didn't know what else to do, or who else to go to. She needed comfort in any form that it would come to her, and Spike always seemed willing to give it.

The sun would go down, and Buffy would be in his crypt, wanting him to claim her, to make her his. They would make love and when they finished she would put her clothes back on and walk right back out the door. Every night.

A few times Spike pleaded with her to stay, but he always knew what her answer would be. She would say that she can't be with him the way he wants her to be, and she would walk out the door without giving him or his feelings a second thought. Mere hours later she would return to his crypt, and wrap herself in his arms, needing to feel his love for her.

It was all a vicious cycle, and it tore Spike apart a lot more than he would have liked it to. He knew that she didn't love him. It hurt him to have this knowledge, but her being there had to mean at least something. Her presence meant that there was a chance of her feeling something towards him, and he was more willing to put faith into nothing than to think there was no chance for him. Afterall, she did give him something; she gave him the crumb that kept him going.

The lovestruck vampire turned slightly, hugging the Slayer up next to his body. He rained kisses down on her forehead, her cheeks, and finally her lips. Their lips mingled, the sweet tastes of strawberries and bananas mixing with the bitter taste of blood and ashes. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, and they battled just as strongly as they ever could when they fought fist to fist.

Tiny hands wove themselves into Spike's hair, down his back, over his chest. With the barest of whimpers, Spike pried Buffy's shirt over her head, and kissed the newly exposed flesh as it was uncovered. His lips roamed her body, briefly stopping to suck in a nipple, lightly grazing it with his teeth before he continued to assault it with his tongue. Buffy moaned out her pleasure, and Spike began traveling down her body, covering each inch of her with butterfly kisses until he reached her hot center. Slowly, his tongue began to lap at her juices, licking and suckling in a gentle, yet powerful frenzy. Her hips bucked up at his face as she whispered the simple word, "Please," and pulled him back up so that their lips molded together once again.

The Slayer's arms wrapped around his shoulders as her legs wrapped around his waist, and he entered her, losing himself in her wetness and warmth. He pumped into her, slowly at first, trying to memorize every detail of their time together as he did every night. Every time he thrust into her, his shaft rubbed against her clit, and the Slayer felt herself getting closer to climaxing. She started to move her hips harder and faster, pulling him closer to her and deeper inside of her. Buffy came with a loud moan and the fluttering of her vaginal walls brought him to the brink moments after. Spike took note that as usual, she never said his name. It was much easier to seek comfort from a nameless face than to pretend that she cared.

As their nightly routine went, Spike rolled off of the Slayer and held her in his arms. He could lay awake for a lifetime if she would just stay in his arms as she was at that moment. He was a vampire; he had plenty of lifetimes to spare. As fate would have it though, once Buffy thought that her lover was asleep, she disentangled her arms from him and got up to get dressed. Spike watched her beautiful form scurry to collect her clothes with his head propped up by his arm. "Buffy, won't you stay just this once?"

The woman that he loved more than his unlife itself hesitantly turned around to face him. "I can't be with you the way you want me to be. I could never love you, Spike." Without a backwards glance, Buffy walked out the door and into the sunlight.

Spike stared at the door for what might have been minutes, but could have been hours. A single tear made it's way down his cheek as he reflected on what he'd become. "I could never love you, Spike." These words repeated themselves in his head, over and over, until he tried to find his own comfort in his dreams where she loved him as much as he loved her. "Next time it will be different," he told himself. "Next time she will realize how she feels about me and she'll stay. Next time... Next time I'll be just as broken as I am now."

Rendezvous then I'm through with you.


The End




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