She stood up from the closed toilet seat and sat down again. She shut her eyes and opened them again. Same reading. Blue. Positive.

"This can't be happening."

The pregnancy test she'd swiped from her mother's bathroom that morning didn't seem to agree. And there was no reasoning with it. It just sat there, cold, impartial...blue.

It was impossible, of course. The only two people she'd ever slept with were vampires. And the last vampire she'd slept with... well that was just a big mistake. It happened because they'd been sorcelled into rabbits by the spell-bungling Willow. It wasn't Buffy's fault that rabbits are inclined to mate, was it? Okay, so once the spell had worn off, she didn't exactly stop him, but still... mistake. And vampires are supposed to shoot blanks, anyway!

Buffy sighed.

It was impossible. But the damn stick didn't care.

***

"You're..."

"Pregnant," Buffy said for the third time, this time enunciating every vowel and consonant.

Giles removed his glasses and cleaned them. "Good lord." He replaced them on the bridge of his nose. "Are you quite sure?"

"Let's see," Buffy answered irately, "I wasn't quite sure when my period was late. I wasn't quite sure when I threw up every morning for five days in a row. But by the third positive pregnancy test, well I just couldn't be more sure."

"Well." Giles cleared his throat. "Well. This is quite unexpected."

"No one expected it less than me," Buffy said dejectedly as she sat down in the closest chair.

He leaned on the table before her and rested a hand on his Slayer's shoulder, attempting comfort, but feeling decidedly lacking. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard this would be for a girl your age..." He perked up. "Now there's a thought. Have you considered talking to your--"

"Mother? Giles are you nuts? This isn't a mother-daughter bonding opportunity. This is a baby."

He reasoned with a tilt of his head, "Actually, that's exactly what a--"

"You know what I mean! I'm carrying Spike's baby! The baby of Spike!" she cried. "This is not a child that should be brought into the world!"

"I understand," he soothed. "Whatever you choose to do with this...situation, you know I'll support you."

"Thanks," Buffy said, calming down. "And I've chosen already. I want it out."

He gave her a sympathetic nod.

"What do you want out?" Willow asked casually as she strolled into the library.

"My demon spawn," Buffy explained brightly.

Willow stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"What about Spawn?" Xander asked as he walked in.

Buffy took a deep breath. This evening would be loads of fun.

***

"So, what I don't get is how he managed to..." Oz began.

"It's technically impossible," Giles affirmed. "Vampires aren't capable of reproduction--in the human sense of the word anyway. My only guess is that when Spike was in rabbit form, his physiological functions were in...er, serviceable order."

"Oh, god, this is all my fault!" Willow cried, head landing in her hands.

"Will, it's okay," Buffy said, breaking her pacing pattern for just a moment. "These things happen." She looked up and added, "To me."

Willow offered a look of remorse.

Buffy went back to pacing.

"So, if they were bunnies when the seed was planted," Xander pondered, "how can we be sure the baby is human?"

Buffy's eyes widened in panic. "There's a little bunny growing inside me?"

"Oh, cute!" Willow cooed without thinking. When all eyes rested on her, she amended, "In a...really, creepy way."

Oz put a reassuring arm around his blushing girlfriend, and Giles moved to allay Buffy's fears.

"I sincerely doubt that it's an actual rabbit, Buffy," he began earnestly. "No traces of your rabbit selves remained after the enchantment, so there's no reason to think otherwise. Not to mention that it's physically impossible for humans to cross-breed with animals. No, I assume it happened at the precise moment you were transformed back into your own bodies, and then simply continued on as if it were a normal conception."

Buffy wrinkled her nose at Giles. It was bad enough that a conception had taken place at all. Or that the product of it could be half vampire. But the possibility of incubating a rabbit in her womb was giving her an entirely new kind of wiggins.

"We could do some tests, Willow and I," Giles offered. "Of course, we're not equipped for obstetric procedure, so eventually you'll have to go to an actual doctor."

"Eventually?" Buffy asked. "Giles, I'm not waiting to see what this is."

"Right," Giles said softly, with kind eyes. "Of course. Then we'll deal with it right away, if you're sure you want it removed--"

"What's she gettin' removed now?" They heard from the doorway. Spike strode in wearing his trademark smirk. "That funny bump on her nose? Or that dodgy stick up her arse?"

Buffy scoffed, and touched her nose. "I don't have a bump."

"Spike," Willow warned with a headshake.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. So what is it? What's she gettin' removed?" Thumbs looped into his belt buckle, he looked down at the group and waited for an answer.

Looking down, Buffy announced bitterly, "Thanks to you, Spike, I've got a bunny in the oven."

Xander remarked with a wistful shake of his head, "She made the funny that I didn't dare."

Willow kicked him under the table.

"What's 'at?" Spike asked Buffy, confused. "Got a rabbit in your cooker? Why would I put one there? You know I like mine raw."

"Ew! And that's not what I'm talking about," she sang, irritation growing.

"Well I don't have all night to play 20 questions with you, love, so get on with it--what the bollocks are you talkin' about?"

Buffy took a deep breath and finally looked him in the eye. "I'm talking about the half-vampire, possibly half-bunny rabbit bundle of joy that's growing inside me."

Spike's smirk faded as the implication in her words sunk in. Finally, he dismissed her. "Pft. Good one, Slayer. Almost got me."

"I'm not kidding."

He searched her expression. "Right. Try a new one. I think I'd know if I could still hitch a lady after all these years."

Angrily, Giles stood and plucked off his glasses to point menacingly at the vampire. "This is no time for your snide remarks. This is reality and you damn well better take responsibility for your actions!"

Spike frowned, all too aware that the Watcher would never pull a prank on him. The faces of the Scoobies were equally as sincere.

Buffy's chair screeched as she got up to step away from the table, away from Spike. This was all too much.

Spike scrutinized her as she stood there, gazing into space, rubbing her shoulders.

She looked gorgeous, as usual. Normally this ticked him off and made him say all manner of insulting things to her. But now...now she had something of his growing inside of her, and that was...

"Impossible," he breathed.

Buffy chuckled mirthlessly. "That's what I said."

"It was while you were rabbits," Willow supplied.

"So this is your fault, then?" Spike commented distractedly, eyes never leaving his Slayer.

Willow whimpered guiltily. "W--Well, Xander helped!"

"Hey, I didn't know they were Buffy and Spike!" Xander countered.

"Who's fault is it really, huh Spike?" Buffy's tone turned accusitory as she crossed her arms. "The witch who made us into bunnies, or the bunny who molested me?"

Spike's mouth flew open. "Molested? -- I...! You...!" Arms flailing, he finally came up with a coherent response. "I was a bloody RABBIT, for god's sake! Rabbits fuck! It's what they do!"

Buffy winced and turned away from him.

He approached her back and craned his neck to reach her ear. "Better question is, who was the one who begged me to keep going afterwards? Maybe that's when it happened, ever think of that?"

Buffy whipped around, tears welling in her eyes. "Oh, fuck you, Spike! I don't care how it happened, I just want it out of me!"

"Oh, you just want it out?" he shouted. "Don't I get any say in the matter?"

She looked at him as if he'd grown two extra eyeballs and spat, "You want me to have your baby?"

Spike shrugged. "I dunno. Might be nice. I could take little Billy to the park, teach him how to play baseball, how to climb trees..."

"How to rip the other kids' throats out," Xander added.

Spike laughed and pointed. "Yeah, he'll be hell on--" Buffy's withering glare stopped him from continuing that thought.

"You're insane," Buffy said. "And now you're just trying to make my life harder by acting like you have some say in this."

"Well, I do!"

"Yeah, if you were the one who had to spend 9 months fat and ugly and sick, I just might believe you."

"You won't be ugly. Childbearing is a beautiful thing."

"Oh, spare me."

"I could take care of you. Find us a place to live. Hold your hair back while you toss your breakfast into the wazzer."

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Buffy asked. "Not five minutes ago you were insulting my nose, and now you're proposing marriage?"

"Hey, hey. Who said anything about marriage?" He held his hands up and saw that she was still stinging from his previous insult. He lifted her chin with his fingertips. "Buffy, you know I just say those things to rile you. Your nose wouldn't be your nose without the bumps. It adds character."

"Oh, way to charm me." She walked away.

"Look," Spike said as he grabbed her arm and twisted her to face him. "All I'm saying is, don't be so quick to decide. This may be the only chance you get."

Buffy understood exactly what he meant. She had no illusions about the Slayer Life Span. But she couldn't bring a child into the world just to leave it behind...could she?

Should she?

What if this was fate? What if this union was supposed to yield a new kind of Chosen One and if she killed it, she'd ruin some age-old endtime prophecy?

And what if it had her nose? And his eyes?

Buffy exhaled. "I'll sleep on it."

Spike smiled.

***

Buffy turned in her bed, looked up at the ceiling and said, "Will you stop staring at me and come inside already?"

Seconds later, a twig broke in the tree beside her house and a black-clad body jumped through her window. Spike straightened before her bed, and scratched his head.

"I, uh--I thought you were asleep," he explained.

"Kind of hard to do with you watching me." She propped herself up on her elbow, one hand on her cheek. "And you don't have to whisper, my mom's not here."

He nodded, and stood there awkwardly for a moment. Finally he asked, "You alright?"

She lifted her brow. "Suddenly you care?"

"Suddenly," he scoffed. "Not suddenly. I've been helping you for a while, you know."

"For your own personal gain."

"Yeah. Well. Sometimes. Can't blame me for that."

"I can blame you for a lot."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Um, like for the Little Slugger growing inside me?"

"Yeah," he agreed, positively beaming.

"You're proud of this!" she realized, sitting up. "You're proud of yourself for knocking up the Slayer!"

"Baby, I'd be proud of knockin' anyone up this place an' time."

"Well, lucky you." She flopped back against her pillow. "You get to be proud while I'm the poster girl for unwed teenage motherhood shame."

"Nothin' to be ashamed of," he said, his gaze travelling down to her belly. Still perfectly taut, nothing at all showing yet. But somewhere in there was a part of him.

Buffy saw the various expressions cross his face: wonderment, longing, fear, insecurity, longing, longing... she sighed and took his hand, then placed it on her silk-covered stomach.

A tiny awestruck breath escaped his nose as he held his palm against her. He looked up at her with a silly grin, and back down again.

Buffy just shook her head with a sideways smile. Men.

"Can I...?" He motioned his head downward.

She chuckled. "Go ahead. You won't hear anything though."

He put his ear to her belly, his eyes facing her. "No. I can."

"What? How--" She panicked, deducting that it had to be a hellbeast if its heartbeat was audible already.

"Vampire, love." He pointed to his ear.

"Oh. Right." She calmed down. "You can hear it? Really?"

"Yeah. I wish you could hear it too..." he listened for a moment, then seized her arm and tapped two fingers along to the heartbeat he heard. It was fast, the kind of heartbeat only a tiny growing being could have, but insistent and strong.

For a moment, Buffy let herself be filled with the joy of creating life.

They lay there like excited newlyweds of the picket fence variety, not a care in the world but the wonderful miracle they had to look forward to.

Then the reality came crashing back. "Stop it." She sat up, rolling him off.

"What?" he asked with a frown.

"Spike, you know I can't have this baby."

"Why the bloody hell not?"

"Why not? The reasons why not could fill a book! Not just any book, one of Giles' tomes! With footnotes!"

Spike looked shattered, and Buffy felt a sudden inexplicable urge to take him in her arms and comfort him. To tell him she would have the baby after all. But this was not the way to make a life-altering decision. Instead, she issued a challenge: "Give me one good reason why I should."

He slipped his jacket off, climbed up her lithe body, and gazed into her eyes. "Because I love you."

Buffy laughed at first. Then she saw his fierce resolve. He means it?

He adjusted himself lengthwise against her, and spoke low into her ear. "And you love me." He began to kiss and nibble at her neck.

"I--"

He covered her mouth with his own while roving his fingers down her silky negligee and up, underneath the short hem. Still kissing her fiercely, he passed a thumb over her pubic hair, paused to caress her belly, then lifted her negligee as far as it would go. When it didn't yield at the top, he yanked at her spaghetti straps, finally leaving the stubborn scrap of silk at her midriff as he descended to lick and suckle at her nipples.

Buffy arched her back and murmured his name.

"Tell me you haven't thought about us," he demanded, his voice deep, his kisses hard. "Tell me you haven't thought about it every night since."

Buffy couldn't lie. Not while he was reminding her of how amazing he was with his tongue. She weaved her hands into his hair and bucked forward. "Not just nights, oh god..."

He looked up to smile, then continued, down her ribcage to her navel, dipping his tongue into her belly button, nipping at her soft curves. "Me too," he admitted between gentle bites. "Afternoon, morning, dawn, dusk, every time I bloody look at you..."

Buffy sounded her relief, recalling a time when Spike wasn't so forthcoming with his feelings. Hours after the bunny-sponsored sexcapades that had left them naked and exhausted on Giles' couch, she'd wriggled her way out of Spike's grasp without rousing him, a sudden bout of shame propelling her out the door. His reaction to her later that night had solidified her regret--he'd been cavalier, even hurtful. He'd used the word 'mistake.' She'd used the phrase 'over it.' They hadn't spoken of it since.

But apparently, they'd thought about it alot.

Luckily, they didn't have to do that anymore. Not alone, anyway.

"Oh god, Spike..."

Between her thighs now, he was spreading a hand across her curls as he devoured her, braising his mouth with her sticky paste and delighting in her flavor.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god..." she gasped, twisting the bedsheets in her fists until they popped off of the mattress corners. "I can't...I'm gonna..."

She opened her mouth first, and then a sweet cry pierced the air.

Grinning, he pounced. Somehow he'd unbuckled and unfettered himself while he was licking her and now he held himself at the ready.

Watching her face as she continued to shudder from orgasm, Spike firmly, gently penetrated her quivering entry. Gasping, she tugged frantically on his shirt, wanting it off. He sat up to remove it for her, then plunged right into her again. She began to kick at his pants, hooking her toes into the fabric edges, pushing downward.

He chuckled a little, but didn't let her have her way. He was much too comfortable buried inside of her. She'd get the total nudity next time...and he was planning on a lot of 'next times', some of them immediately following 'this time'.

She pulled at him, groaning, wanting him harder, faster.

"Na-ah, pet. Gotta go gentle. Don't wanna hurt little Billy."

"Oh please," she said breathlessly. "Billy is ours. I think he can take it."

He smiled down at her and accelerated his thrusts. "Ours?"

She reddened. "You know what I..."

"I do know," his eyes flashed and his tongue brushed against his teeth. "He's ours."

With that, Spike sat up to kneel. Gripping her thighs, he crashed into her, slamming his hard stomach against her most sensitive flesh.

Buffy screamed out, then wrapped her legs around his hips.

"Ours," he repeated, and she felt herself spasming again, into another six seconds of blissful release.

"Spike!" she cried, reaching up to hold his chest above her.

"Buffy!" he choked, face contorting as he erupted.

Still reeling, Spike brought his palms down on either side of her and blinked, trying to keep his eyes on the girl moaning and sighing beneath him. He thought he would turn to dust right there, her beauty was so hard on his heart. "Mine," he whispered.

Still breathing heavily, she brought him down for a kiss.

Suddenly he whipped his head up and said, "Think Billy's alright? I mighta jostled him a bit." He jumped down and listened to her belly, then returned. "He's alright. Says mum needs to give dad a good seeing-to to make up for it though."

"Oh, is that what he said?" Buffy laughed.

He held a hand up. "I swear it."

With a radiant smile, she tousled her lover's hair, teasing, "You want me to have your baby."

Gasping, he fell into the crook of her neck. "I do."

She continued to pet him. "You want the Slayer to have your baby."

"Damn right."

"You big perv."

He chuckled. "At least I'm not the Good Slayer wanting the Evil Vampire's baby. Now that's perverted."

"Who said I wanted it?"

He extended his arms to inspect her expression, the look of shock evident on his face.

She touched his angular cheekbone. "I'm not saying I don't... Look, once I find out that it's not a bunny, or evil incarnate, I'll get back to you. Until then, you have to stop with the pressure."

"Pressure? What pressure?"

"Watching me sleep so you can ask me as soon as I wake up what my decision is? Giving it a name, a sex, and a cute personality? Talking to it, calling me 'mum'--"

He sighed. "Right, right, fine. No pressure, and we'll see." Then he added, patting her belly, "Didja hear that Billy? You might have a chance in hell after all."

"Well, you know, Sunnydale. Great odds for the chance in hell," Buffy pointed out with a tender smile.

"Oh, I'm betting on this one."

Buffy gasped. "Gambler!"

"Slut," he teased.

"Perv," she said before kissing him again.

"Bunny shagger."

"Buffy lover."

"Yeah," he said, tracing a finger along the tip of her nose. "Got me there."