Part 5 - All Bets Are Off  

Spike sits stock still, unsure of what to do. His strong, self-assured Slayer was openly weeping in his lap. That in itself was possibly the most frightening thing that he’d ever witnessed. Slowly, uncomfortably, he wraps his arms around the tiny blonde, murmuring softly to her. At last, Buffy’s gut-wrenching sobs quiet to small hiccups. Spike runs his hand though her hair, softly fingering the ends. Buffy nuzzles into his chest, sniffling and wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. Closing her eyes, she breathes in deeply, relishing the scent that is purely Spike. Leather, tobacco, earth…and that musky scent that is wholly male.

Buffy sits up slowly, wishing she could just stay curled into Spike forever. But she knows it’s not right to cuddle with your mortal enemy…and in the same note, it’s definitely not ok to sleep with them. Pushing those thoughts aside, she shakes her head to clear it, and looks up into Spike’s weary blue gaze. She feels the impact of that look zing through her, sending little shocks of electricity deep down inside of her to her very toes. Her lips part softly, her breathing becoming shallow and quick. Swallowing compulsively she takes a deep breath.

“Thank you.” She says at length.

Spike looks a little more relaxed, now that his Slayer is in control of herself again. “For what, luv?”

“For…this. For everything.” She tells him. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem, pet. I never did like the Sargent.” He smirks.

Buffy laughs and curls back into his side. The two sit silently, just being in the other’s presence for an endless stretch of time. At length, Buffy voices the question plaguing her mind.

“So…what now?” she asks, refusing to meet his eyes in fear of seeing him pull away from her, like alll the others had.

“I-“ Spike breaks off, suddenly at a loss for words for once in his unlife. “I…I don’t know, Slayer. We…this- us, it shouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t still be happening…”

Buffy looks up at him, her large hazel eyes soft and vulnerable. “It’s still happening?” she asks, unsure.

“Do you want it to be?” Spike asks uncertainly.

Buffy is silent for a long time, looking at him, searching for some answer. When Spike is just ready to spontaneously combust from the tension, she nods slowly. “Yes.” She says so softly, if he weren’t a vampire, he wouldn’t have heard her. “I- I don’t know what this is. What WE are. But I know that I want you. And I know that my mother likes you. And…and Dawn. I know that Willow, Tara and Anya could come to like you. Xander…Xander will take awhile.” .

She laughs, and Spike smiles. “Yeah. The whelp isn’t too fond of me, is he?”

Buffy playfully slaps his chest, grinning. “No! He isn’t…with good reason!” she defends her best friend. “But…this isn’t about what he wants, or what my friends want, or my family…” she continues. “This is about me. What I want, what I need. For once in my life, I’m making a decision for me.” She finishes strongly, letting out a slow breath that was filled with satisfaction long denied.

Spike nods in understanding, pulling her closer for a deep kiss. When they break apart, both sigh at the obstacles that they know lay ahead.

“You know this won’t be easy, pet.” Spike says softly.

“I know.” Buffy nods. “But it’s us. We can’t be simple, or normal, or easy. We’re- complicated. But we’re right. I can feel it in my blood.”

Spike nods, completely understanding what she meant. They weren’t right by any terms other than their own…and they were pushing even those. Buffy takes his face in her hands as she notices him drifting in thought. She forces him to meet her gaze, smiling slightly.

“You told me once that love isn’t brains- it’s blood. Blood screaming inside of you to work it’s will. You were right. I know this is wrong. I know that you’re a vampire and I’m the Slayer. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. But I do. It’s in my blood. YOU’RE in my blood…and the blood always knows.”

Spike growls, dragging her mouth to his, kissing her deeply, tasting her words that had barely died on her lips before he’d been overwhelmed with the need to kiss her…feel her…take her. Her words had touched something deep down in him, something possessive and primal. She was his. In his blood, and in his heart, and he would NEVER let her go! Breaking away from her, he wrenches his lips from hers, pulling away to look into her eyes.

“You’re mine!” he growls, before taking her lips again.

He pushes her back against the cold floor, nearly insane with the need to be inside of her. Buffy makes small urgent noises against his mouth, urging him along with her nails raking across his shoulder blades. Unable to wait any longer, Spike unceremoniously thrusts into her tight, hot core, reveling in the fact that she was already wet and ready for him.

Both of them grunt and moan harshly, their mating nearly animalistic in it’s brutality. Buffy flips them over expertly so that he lays beneath her, growling and snarling his pleasure as she moves up and down above him in a fast, hard pace. Her breasts bob in time with each thrust of her hips, until he reaches up to take them in his hands, pinching the nipples roughly. She cries out sharply, her orgasm shaking her small body violently as she clenches around him. Spike shouts out his pleasure, thrusting as far as he can up into her hot, quivering pussy. He comes in long, hard spurts, spilling into her over and over again until they both collapse onto the floor in a panting, trembling mass of sweaty flesh.

Buffy walks home with a small, wistful smile on her face. She aches all over, but it was a good hurt. It was the dull, comforting soreness that meant you were loved…and well! She was reliving her night with Spike in her mind, wincing when she thought of Riley. She had loved him. Not intensely or with an all-consuming passion, but she had loved him. And it hurt that he was gone.

Caught up in her reverie, she collides with a large, hard object…one that grunted when she hit it. Huh? Looking up, she dazedly focuses on Xander’s face.

“Xander?” she asks curiously. “What are you doing out here at this time of night?”

“Buff! Hey! I was looking for you.” He explains.

Buffy rolls her eyes and grins. “Yeah, that’s the story of my life. When my friends want to get ahold of me, they just run to the nearest cemetary.”

Xander laughs slightly, but it’s forced. He seems nervous and Buffy gives him a curious look. “Xander? What’s up?”

“Buffy…we hafta talk.” He grimaces. “I ran into Riley at the Bronze. He was downing whiskey like there was no tomorrow. Turns out, for him, there isn’t.”

“Oh God! You mean he was gonna-“

“No! No…nothing like that. I meant that he was leaving. And, I couldn’t get much outta him other than…Buffy- are you…did you cheat on him?” he asks quietly, not wanting to believe that about his best friend.

Buffy sighs and looks down at the ground, twirling one foot around, tracing patterns in the grass.

“Oh.” Xander says, shocked.

“It wasn’t- it wasn’t like he made it seem, Xander. Or…maybe it was. But he wasn’t telling you the whole truth!” Buffy covers.

“What’dya mean?” Xander asks, wanting to believe the best about his Buffy.

“He was…getting suck jobs. From vamps. It was a…a sexual thing for him. Letting them bite him. He- he started it!” Buffy whines like a six-year- old.

“Did you know about this? Why didn’t you just break up with him instead of getting back at him like that? That wasn’t right, Buffy. Do I know the guy?” Xander rants, the dam finally breaking.

“No, I didn’t know until tonight. I guess, I started it after all, in a way. And…you do kinda, um- know him…” Buffy says shyly.

“Who is it?” Xander asks.

“Well, you see…I mean…it’s- uh…wellimeanit’smaybesortaSpike.” She mutters.

“WHAT?!” Xander screams “Have you lost your mind? Buffy! Spike is a vampire! Ok, evil! How could you?”

Buffy looks up at her best friend’s face, nearly in tears by his reaction. It was wrong. So, so very wrong. But she needed her friends’ support. All of them. She needed them to be ok with it…to make it right.

“Xander, I’m sorry. I know that this is hard to accept. I- I can’t explain…I mean, I just-“

A few tears slip out past Buffy’s eyelashes and spill down her cheeks. She sobs, her shoulders shaking violently. Xander sighs and takes her into a tight hug, rubbing small circle on her back.

“Shhh, Buff- it’s ok. Alright? I mean, it’s really NOT but…I can deal with this, ok? I can try.” He soothes her.

Buffy sniffles, pulling away from his wet shoulder to look up at his warm, comforting face. “Really? You’ll try to be ok with this? For me?”

Xander takes a deep breath, pushing down the urge to scream at her some more. She’d never learn. It was wrong and disgusting on so many levels. But she was Buffy. She was everything to all of the Scoobies. And sometimes, best friends have to make sacrifices to keep the ones they love close. This was one hell of a sacrifice. But he was willing to make it. For her.

“Yeah, Buff. I can do this. But only for you. Don’t expect me to be cool with Spike. I can’t do that. We won’t become buddies. Not like Riley…” Xander says sternly.

Buffy nods. “I understand.”

The two of them pull away, breaking the embrace. An awkward silence settles over them. Buffy looks at Xander.

“I should be getting home. It’s late. Mom’ll start to worry.” She says, wanting to escape the tension of the moment.

“Yeah, you should do that. I’ll walk you.”

They start to walk slowly, side by side, in silence. Upon reaching her home, Buffy puts a hand on the doorknob and turns to face Xander. He smiles and nods his head goodnight, turning to walk away.

“Xander?” she calls out to him.

“Yeah?” he asks, turning back to face her from the porch steps.

“Thank you.” Buffy says quietly.

Xander nods and gives her a warm smile. “Goodnight, Buffy.”

“’Night.”

Buffy opens the door, steps into her home and shuts it quietly. She climbs the stairs and enters her room, shutting the door to the world outside. A huge smile stretches across her face, and she strips out of her clothes and slides between the sheets of her bed. Tomorrow would be a new day, with more friends and family to face. But for tonight, she could be happy.

THE END