Chapter 21 - Escape

"No hurting now please....please mum, make him stop! Please with the no hurting now. Mum!? Mum?!!" Spike cried, though no sound came from his lips."Anyone...I'm begging!! Buffy? Buffy! BUFFY!"

"I'll take your pain away. I'll make all the hurt disappear," a soft voice he knew all too well whispered in his ear. She pulled away just enough for him to perceive the tip of her cute nose. As he focused on her face, he felt the back of her hand stroke his cheek, the other tugging gently at the loose curls at the base of his neck,"No more pain, my beautiful man...my vampire."

"Buffy," he gasped as he finally could see her clearly. The light around them faded to black, but she was still highlighted by golds and ambers from an imperceptible light source. She smiled for him, her long tendrils of hair framing her perfectly.

"When you're with me there will be no hurt, no pain, just you and me. Do you feel me? How warm I am when you touch me, how every part of your body was made to fit with him. Do you feel how soft I am on the inside?. Can you feel how much I want you?" He realized then, as she lowered herself down on his erection, taking him deep inside her body, that they were naked and in want of each other. She was being so good to him, so tender and kind, just how he always wanted it. He had her wrapped around him, her were arms around his neck, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He was inside her, snug and warm, being massaged, so far up inside her he touched the entrance to her womb. They barely moved, just a gentle rocking like the ebb and flow of water to the shore, just enough to make him painfully hard and keep her flowing, both rising steadily to mutual release. She felt every nuance of him, the entire length from where his body ended and he'd become part of hers. She tensed inside herself, squeezing him, making him gasp, then moan.

When she comes she breathes in short bursts, her eyes close and her head tilts back, mouth opening slightly. Her thighs turn to steel and then melt, she is perfect. She sobs with her climax, clinging to him to anchor her, pushing his mouth to her breasts. He erupts, cool streams of fluid that flood her, rushing from him, around him, mingling with her hot come. They rode out the waves of their mutual climax, they held each other close, no space between theig to his notes,"The celestial alignments are precisely the same!"

***

Buffy woke up that morning with a smile on her face, moaning sweetly as she squeezed her pillow in her hands. She reached across the bed for her vampire lover, but felt only the cold undisturbed top of her quilt. Her eyes snapped open, realizing it had been only a dream. She gasped and turned her face into the bed to stifle her scream. She may have been crying her heart out, but she knew it, knew it in her soul that it hadn't just been a dream. This made their separation all the more torturous.

They were sharing dreams, escaping to the same place night after night, and it was no longer because of Jane. It was because of each other and love they shared. Realizing it now of course had Buffy feeling half sick, in agony for want to have him back in her arms, to be back in the dream place where they were together and safe.

She had her cry and then composed herself. Having fallen asleep in her clothes sometime last night after the Scooby assembly, she undressed and went into the bathroom for a shower. Afterwards she wasted valuable time staring in her closet, looking for the right outfit to take on an evil cult. Fact of the matter was that her words from the previous night were ringing true. She felt helpless. Storming the proverbial castle was pointless without an army. Giles could probably pose as Randall's father and gain access, but what would be the point if he couldn't get out with both Spike and Jane. She was the Slayer and she couldn't even save the man she loved.

***

"I think. I think am. Therefore I am. I think. I'm not dead, or at least I am not other than undead. Though I cannot say for certain that I am not dreaming. I was with Buffy, I was in her arms, in her body. We made love. That can't have just been a dream. It was so real. Would I know if I was awake? And isn't it strange how coming to this place, being forced inside my own mind that I have torn myself away from the grips of madness and found William and Spike are one and the same? I am me, I am one person, I am of one body, one mind, one heart and I suppose perhaps, one soul. Upon one shoulder sits a pure and noble soul, on the other is a demon that thirsts for blood and mayhem. In the center there is me, us. But now there is no us, no we, there is me, there is I. I am 145 years old, I am a vampire with a soul. I love Buffy Anne Summers.

No one will ever know. Buffy will never know I've come back to myself. Back to her.

Will I go on like this for eternity? My body paralyzed and out of my control? Will I be trapped inside my own mind, walled up and forgotten as I starve, but continue on, unaging for all time? How long before I lose my mind again? Bloody hell...my head hurts."

Chapter 22 - Enigmas

Buffy had the impression that walking down the stairs was akin to being a celebrity meeting the press. Her friends and sister all began speaking at once. Did any of them even sleep last night? She wasn't even hearing what they were saying, there was just too much all at once and none of it gave her any respite from her present state of mind. At present her train of thought consisted of getting another bazooka and storming the institution, demanding they give her back her vampire.

"Buffy?" Dawn's voice came through,"Are you listening?"

"Huh?" she replied, moving past to sit down on the couch.

"Don't you even care that John Westerberg's been financing Fernridge for the past 27 years!?"

"Twenty seven years! Yes, that's exactly how it was..." Giles stammered, returnin

"I am neither. I simply find it incredible that you honestly think I would put my only child in mortal danger."

"After what I've seen of this place, yeah I think you're sadist! That place is evil and the man I happen to love is trapped there from trying to get your daughter out before the star aligns or whatever and some big evil demon rises up out of hell! Are you really thinking we're that stupid. Twenty seven years ago you started funding Fernridge, that was the last time they tried to raise the Gaud."

"Quite the little Nancy Drew aren't you? Fine, yes, I know about the institute's past, but it ended twenty seven years ago, and that's why I started giving them money. Pauline was only eleven years old at the time and I knew her father, Dr. Paul Montgomery. He and his partner Dr. Thaddeus were taking over control of Fernridge, but they needed money to get the previous owners out. I obliged. They turned the place around, made it into a haven. Paul and his wife had just had a son, everything was good. Years later Pauline and I fell in love..."

"Your wife was murdered, her fall wasn't an accident." John wore his emotions plainly on his face, hurt and anger at Buffy's revelation.

"Who are you make these accusations!? Opening up old wounds! She was sick, she lost her balance..."

"Those wounds never really healed did they? Is this why you lock yourself up alone in this dreary old house? Trying to forget you have a daughter. We're telling you that tonight they're going to raise the Gaud and all hell's gonna break loose. Are you going to help us?" The tension in the room was suddenly shattered when Dawn gasped."Dawn?"

"There, behind you, on the mantle - Buffy look at the pictures!!!"

Chapter 23 - His Hero

"You might be curious to know why I've kept you alive," said Doc as he hovered over the semiconscious Spike,"The Gaud requires souls you see, I intend to give it yours. The fiddling about inside your noggin was for my own amusement."

"You do realize the second I snap out of this, I'm going to tear your bloody head off, right?" Spike answered, not caring that Doc couldn't actually hear the threat.

"Until that time comes, I've brought you some company." After Doc moved away Spike's vision caught an inkling as to who was being placed in the other bed next to him. Like him, Jane was laid out on a bed, still as vacant and unmoving as ever.

"Bloody hell, Jane girl, I'm so sorry. I screwed up, pet. Maybe cost us both our lives."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, the stars are lining up. It's time to bring back our savior!"

"Right, you do that. I'm just gonna lay here and contemplate your afterlife. If I don't take you out, the Slayer will. Mark my words - or thoughts, rather. Either way, you're dead, fuckwit." He and Jane were alone then, leaving Spike to go stir crazy. He tried to will himself to move, but he couldn't seem to even sense much past the inside of his skull. His brain might as well have been in a jar. Next attempt was to awaken the demon within. The supernatural being felt like it was locked in a cage and unable to break free. What Doc was feeding into his body must be more than just narcotics. Spike guessed there was some mojo in the mix."Don't you be frettin, Jane girl, the Slayer'll come for us. My bird's the hero of this story, hasn't ever let me down, she won't this time either. Come on Buffy, love...where are you?"

***

They parked the SUV outside the wall of Fernridge's property, while John Westerberg pulled his BMW in behind them. The older man's purpose was to serve as a distraction for the others to sneak in to get Spike and Jane out. Once that was accomplished, Clem and Dawn would get them away to safety while Buffy and the others would remains to stop the Gaud from rising. The Scoobies would have a challenge before them to slip past both staff and patients undetected, but Buffy had confidence in them. She however refused to be so patient. Going alone around to the side of the building she sent up a grappling hook to attach to an awning, enabling her to climb her way to the roof. From there she repelled over the edge and searched along the top floor for an entrance.

When she came to the window of Dr. Thaddeus' office she felt a wave of nausea pass over her. To think that she'd not remembered the face of the demon that had stabbed Spike and cut her sister on top of Glory's tower. When Dawn had spotted the photograph of Doc, aka Dr. Thaddeus, with Paul Montgomery and John Westerberg above the fireplace there was the awakening of a very mortal, primal fear within the Slayer. She realized that she had unwittingly put her love in the hands of a volatile enemy. If she lost Spike to the one demon who was his worst regret there would be no recourse, no carrying on. She'd give up.

One bit of luck was afforded her in that Doc's office was empty. In addition the window was unlocked, so she didn't have to break the glass. She felt the compulsion to destroy anything that looked valuable or cherished, but there wasn't the time. She'd just have to settled for killing him if they crossed paths.

At first she was grateful to find the hallways deserted, but grew increasingly suspicious when she found absolutely no signs of life. The institution was as silent as the grave, so much so that the only sounds she could perceive was the birdsong outside and her own controlled breathing. She thought momentarily that she should investigate on the floors below, but there was a sudden oddity rising up through her system. She felt a warmth settle over her abdomen, a flush bloom on her cheeks. She took five quick strides to a not so random door and kicked it in.

Buffy choked back the bile that rose in her throat when she saw him laying on the bed. He wore only a thin and baggy pair of hospital issue pajama bottoms and he looked paler than ever, even emaciated. She knew he hadn't had blood in days, he was disappearing before her eyes into what he'd described a few years ago as a dead shell, like those people in those dusty countries. An sudden anguished cry broke from her throat.

"Spike!" she cried, rushing over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders and pulling his limp body up into her embrace.

"Buffy. Sweet love are you ever a sight for sore eyes. Really sore, I haven't bloody blinked in a couple of days and...oh my aren't you warm...." She began to kiss him, her lips roaming over every feature on his face,"Guess this means we're getting back together, huh? Missed you, baby."

"Spike? Spike? Answer me, what's wrong?" He acted as if he were boneless, weak as a newborn. She held him back from her and his head lulled to the side, his eyes showing no spark. Buffy began to tremble, her eyes widening as fear took hold. She held on to his chin, forcing his face to confront hers. Nothing."Spike?"

"Bugger. Buffy, I'm here, love, I'm in here. You have to get us out of here, they're planning something. Gonna raise some sort of soul eatin' demon."

"SPIKE?!" She shook him, still he didn't move of his own accord. If it weren't for the fact that he'd never had a heartbeat she'd at least be able to determine if he was dead. She was crying now, becoming increasingly desperate."Spike! Don't do this to me, come on! Snap out of it."

"Buffy, get the IV out, it's the drugs." She suddenly released him and he fell back against his pillows. As this happened, his arm tugged against the long tube of the intravenous, making Buffy aware of its existence. Quickly, but gently she withdrew it from him,"That's my girl." She lay her chest against his, holding him, just thanking god he wasn't dust.

"I know we were together last night, I know it was real," she whispered at his ear, her lips grazing over the cartilage and the lobe while she fit her palm over the sharp jut of his cheekbone,"Hold on to last night as much as you can, don't forget it and I won't either. I promise I'll get you out of here, and I'm so so sorry, it's all my fault. I'll make it up to you. Until then remember my skin against yours, remember how warm and happy we were. William, I love you." Somehow a tear streamed out from the corner of his eye. It trickled under his ear and down his neck to be soaked into the pea green colored pillowcase.

"I love you too, Buffy."

Chapter 24 - The Return of the Beast

Giles and Dawn finally found the Slayer in a room on the third floor of the institute, it wasn't difficult to do considering the door had been splintered into a million pieces. Furthermore there was a sound, as soft as a dove's coo, followed by a sniffle. The pair entered the room to a strange, but heartwarming scene. Buffy sat on a bed, cradling her vampire against her breast, kissing his forehead and petting his disheveled two toned curly hair. She rocked him, her tears falling softly off her cheeks and splashing on his face, wet from her sorrow.

"Buffy?" Dawn questioned. She looked up at them, pained and confused.

"He won't wake up," she explained,"Neither will she." Buffy looked over at Jane,"I couldn't chose. I can only carry one of them at a time and if I leave one of them alone, someone might come and take them. So, so, so I just....I wanted to hold him."

"Buffy, you know the right choice," Spike emoted to her,"Leave me, get the girl out. She's innocent. It's the right thing to do. Don't cry, love, you've given me more in fifteen minutes than I've known in over one hundred years. Let me go."

"Giles, they've done something to him, like what they did to Jane. I was too late, I've lost him!" Giles quickly traversed the distance between him, wrapping his arms around his Slayer to offer comfort.

"Rupert, you old sod, welcome home mate. Wait a minute, bloody hell, I'm a bit miffed with you, where the hell have you been when my girl's been sufferin'?! Tell you what, we'll call it even if you get me the bleedin' hell out of here!"

"Buffy, Spike is a vampire, remember that, it's not the same as with a person. Despite the soul, the demon is not something that can be made to vanish, the effects of this place are deadening, yes. However I know he's not lost, I swear it. But, listen, we haven't the time. Downstairs in the basement the ceremony has already begun. There's no one in the hospital except for Spike and Jane. The patients have all been cattled into a pit and the staff are surrounding a sacred fire with the vessel to bring forth the Gaud. Willow, Xander, Anya are keeping watch. They're in the middle of a ceremony to raise what they called an emissary for the Gaud. When night falls all hell will break lose - literally. The Slayer must prevent this. John Westerberg is standing watch downstairs, he and I will get Jane and Spike both out, I promise you."

"Ripper! That was inspired! Listen to the Watcher, pet, go save the world - don't die doing it - then you and me can hold ourselves up in the bedroom for seventy something hours and shag ourselves blind....no, make love, that's what we'll do. Buffy, do it! GO!"

"Buffy, Clem's got the car ready to go, let's get Spike and Jane out," Dawn prodded,"I'll be with him the whole time." Spike could feel her strength returning, just a little bit of hope from Giles' promises had done it. Her would-be father let her go and stepped away. She turned Spike's face to hers, giving him a genuine, loved filled smile, then bent down to kiss him hard on the lips.

"That's my girl, go slay 'em!" Buffy let him down gently on the bed, giving his face one last caress before steeling herself and getting ready to march to her duty when unexpectedly a hand clamped down on her shoulder and flipped her around.

"Not so fast, buttercup." They knew that voice, knew it like a cold hand closing around their hearts. Giles and Dawn turned back and saw the newcomer, as well as Jane's empty bed. Buffy's eyes darted behind the risen god to where Spike lay helpless and separated from her. Her wide, panic stricken eyes returned to the restored Glory. The blond haired beast smiled mockingly, seeming suddenly more fascinated with checking out her nightgown and robe rather than the enemies that stood before her."For once the culty worshipers get it right, check me out, this silk is Chinese. I look amazing. Gaudian worshipers are the only way to go, real attention to detail and the smarts to get me a woman's body. God, all the baggy, ugly ass boy clothes Benny wore were enough to make me gag!"

"Good Lord no!!" Spike too was consumed by panic and fear. This was beyond anything he'd ever imagined in his very worst nightmares. Since the return of his soul he had run the gamut of inner turmoil and emotional pain, but never raw, bleeding, soul searing fear."BUFFY RUN!! GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF HERE!!!" He lay there motionless as he felt himself losing the tentative grip on his sanity. He tried everything he could to get up, but no so much as his little finger twitched. Glory turned to him and cocked her head to one side like a puppy noticing a shiny object.

"Hey look, they even brought me back my vampire!" She turned back to the still stunned Slayer, the Watcher and..."My key! Oh this like the best day ever!!"

"Dawn, get out of here!" Buffy ordered. Her sister was however too terrified to budge an inch. Glory flopped down on the bed next to Spike, holding his head up by his hair.

"Hey sugarplum," Glory continued, looking at Buffy,"Did you know Mr. Sunshine here has a soul? It's like he's lit up like a Christmas tree!" Suddenly the hellgod smashed her arm against the post of the bed, breaking off a piece that served well as a stake. At that point Buffy rushed her. But not in time."Ooops! My bad." The vampire's dust swirled up in the air and shone like silver, blanketing the bed and Buffy's skin. It was soft and cool, like moonlight. Glory tossed the stake away, coughing and patting herself down, trying to get the filth off herself. Buffy meanwhile was about to have a heart attack."You know what? I'm not here to do the whole opening dimensions thing. I'm over it. After sitting like genie in the bottle this whole time, I've come to an epiphany. I just wanna kill, faster pussycat, kill, kill, kill."

Chapter 25 - Smoke and Mirrors

Giles and Dawn had to drag Buffy from the scene, the Slayer all but comatose again. They didn't look back to see if Glory was following them. Thankful not to have inadvertently fallen as they rapidly descended three levels of stairs, Giles, Buffy and Dawn came into the foyer just as Xander, Willow and Anya came rushing up from the basement, all 6 of them converging at John Westerberg.

"Where is my daughter?!" John demanded.

"No time..." Giles stammered,"We must get out now!"

"No, dammit, where is she?!"

"GONE! We must leave now, she's coming!"

"Who?!"

"Giles?" Willow questioned, and then she saw who he meant. Walking casually down the stairs was the evil bitch that had cost them all so much in the past."God no..."

"Now!" Giles insisted, pushing the stunned Scoobies out the front door. They ran into the thickness of the forest, hoping to find a place to hide. After close on fifteen minutes Dawn was the first to put a stop to their flee, realizing that no one was following.

"Guys, stop! We're safe," the teenager panted, still holding on to Buffy's arm. The others halted, doubling over and holding their stomachs as they tried to catch their breath. Buffy slumped to the ground, close to either passing out or throwing up. Those few fragile seconds before Spike had been killed replayed themselves over and over in her mind in a loop."Buffy?" The Slayer began shivering holding herself while she broke down in tears.

"What's happening to her?" Xander asked, kneeling down before his nearly catatonic friend. Giles sat down next to his Slayer and enfolded her in his arms.

"Glory killed Spike right in front of us, staked him through the heart."

"Oh god, Buffy...Where did Glory come from? Where is Jane?"

"Glory is Jane."

"That woman is not my daughter!" John protested.

"Yes she bloody well is!" Giles shouted, then steadied himself,"Your daughter has been made into the host for Glorificus' return. I'm sorry John, but she is lost. If we had known what was happening at Fernridge earlier, perhaps we could have stopped this from happening. Glory has been brought back by her servant, Doctor Thaddeus, to prevent us from stopping the raising of the Gaud, she is the emissary. When night falls, the stars will align and whatever the Gaud is, it will rise up and devour this place. We must stop it, Buffy must stop it."

"How?" Dawn cried,"How can she? She can't even stand up. Glory's the reason she died, Glory's the reason we all almost died. She killed Spike! Giles, any of you, do you have any idea how long it took her to admit that she was in love with another vampire? How ugly and horrible things were between them before all those walls came down? How can Buffy save the world when she has nothing to live for!" Dawn turned suddenly when Buffy's hand touched her cheek."Buffy?" The Slayer got to her feet and looked at the witch.

"Willow?" she asked quietly, wiping the hot angry tears from her face.

"Yes?" the nervous witch replied.

"The power you had, when you tried to....last May. Do you still have it?"

"No, not exactly. The magic will always be in me, but it's not like that now."

"Can you get it?"

"Not without losing control. I....I'd probably end up being best buds with Glory if I touch that kind of power again." Buffy's face told of her despair."But!! But, Gaia, the Earth, if I asked, she'll lend me some of hers."

"Thank you. Willow, thank you. You and I will take on Glory, no hold barred, we'll give her everything we've got until she's dead."

"The HELL you will," John snarled,"That's my daughter!"

"You're daughter is nothing more than.....oh, god, I'm sorry." Buffy's demeanor changed, she suddenly realized what this man must be going through,"Mr. Westerberg, this is my fault and I can't tell you how sorry I am for giving you hope, only to take it away. Glory is a hell god, she is nearly unstoppable. Because of her the world almost ended. Because of her I was dead for 147 days until Willow brought me back. There is no middle ground with Glory, if she isn't killed she and the Gaud will destroy the world and kill billions of people. She can only exist in the world if she has a human body to inhabit, that ended up being Jane. There is no way to reverse this. Now, I just saw her murder the one man I will love the most in my whole life. My William is dead because I failed him, I can't let his death mean nothing, I have to stop Glory. Then we can rest, then we can mourn, but right now, we have to fight or die ourselves."

***

"Stupid, bloody, fucking smoke and mirrors parlor tricks! Buffy, I know you think I'm dust, but I'm not. Feel me, feel my love for you, I'm still with you." Spike closed his eyes, amazed he was able to do it, then opened them again. He looked upwards from his position to see the heads of the other patients he was in the dug out pit with. He lay on the cold earth in a darkened cave, the other victims of Fernridge mulling about around him like caged livestock, unaware in their delirious states. He guessed that these were all likely victims of Glory's horrible brain sucking, that likely Jane was too. Were the young girl not mute, she'd likely be babbling nonsense like the rest of them. Above and around the perimeter of the pit were the staff members he'd been abused and beaten by, in addition to Nurse Beckett and Doc, all dressed in ceremonial robes and caught up in a chanting fervor.

These people had power, real terrible power. They'd already managed to bring back Glory and used poor Jane's defensively body to do it. How long before the Gaud was raised and the destruction of the world began? How long before they tore from his body the soul he'd fought so hard for.

Chapter 26 -Empowerment

Willow and Buffy sat in a clearing close to where the others waited. Giles had been consoling John Westerberg for some time now, explaining the history with Glory, from Dawn's creation to the final battle and Buffy's sacrifice. He then explained a little about the rare situation that was the existence, or rather former existence, of William the Bloody. Giles detailed with nostalgia and surprise affection the tales of how Spike had gone from the Slayer of Slayers, to the only vampire ever in all the history of the world to go against the will of his demon and seek a soul, all for the love of a woman. His tale was a hero's journey of redemption that had been cut dramatically and lamentfully short. His tragic ending didn't make him any less noble.

Meanwhile Willow and Buffy lay on the ground in a weird sort of yin yang pose, their knees bent and touching the other's, while their heads lay at their friend's feet. The earth was moist, but not cold, the organic feel of the grass like the soft touch of a mother's hand. It calmed the Slayer, hardly lessening the ache of loss in her heart for Spike, but it made her covet and remember the few moments of kindness from their past. She saw him standing at the bottom of her stairs the night of her resurrection, then the feel of his calloused, gentle hands holding hers moments later. There was such awe and love in those blue eyes of his. Quiet moments after that night, sitting on her back porch, or in his crypt with whiskey from his flask. She remembered her arms tight around his waist as she straddled up behind him on his motorcycle, the two of them winding down the streets of Sunnydale, her cheek on his shoulder. They'd been friends, and then they'd been lovers. She couldn't fool herself to believe that it had been good beyond the act, she'd never let it. He'd made love to her, she had sex with him. Except that one time, that last time. She'd needed him to reassure her at the time of Riley's return that she was still desired by someone. They'd moved together slowly for almost an hour, savoring every motion, every breath, every touch. They'd fallen asleep together, it was only the second time that had ever occurred, but the first time she'd felt safe. But she knew now that she'd always been safe with him.

Taping into the love each woman felt in their hearts for their lost mates, their tears wet the earth and made pleas to Gaia for strength.

"I've never going to love again like this, am I Wills?" Buffy asked, staying calm like her friend had told her as they let theirs prayers be heard.

"I don't know Buffy. Tara was everything in the world to me, but I can't live thinking I'll never love again. Maybe you will, in time."

"I don't think so. It was different with Angel, it was first and new and I was young, but Spike was different. Spike and I had to fight for it, we had to want it bad enough. He got his soul for me, no one has ever made that kind of sacrifice for me. No one has ever loved me that much - I don't think anyone ever will again."

"Love is a beautiful thing, you loved Dawn enough to jump off that tower. Spike loved you enough to earn his soul. Nothing but good can come to someone who loves that much and is loved that much."

"I'll never love any other man but William Suffolk." The two reached out and clasped hand as a light rose up around them. Shimmers of red, yellow, green, blue and purple danced and bathed them with power. The four elements and Gaia herself. The Slayer and the Witch, both her daughters, were infused with power beyond their own. When the presence faded, they rose to their feet again and embraced.

"Now let's go kill ourselves a hell bitch!"

***

Spike wondered if he should be pleased or pissed off about being able to wiggle his pinky. The drugs were wearing off finally, but at this rate it wouldn't be until after the apocalypse that he'd be able to move the rest of his arm, let alone his entire body. He sighed craned his neck upwards, then took a moment to smile inwardly at the movement he'd just made. If he kept trying maybe he'd get his ass in gear in time.

***

"What happened to the day?" Buffy questioned, when she and Willow returned to the others. In the west the sun was just beginning to set.

"You've been gone several hours," Giles explained,"We were beginning to think something had happened, but we couldn't interrupt the spell."

"But we're not too late?"

"No, not yet, the stars are just beginning to come out, may still be a while before they align appropriately."

"No sign of Glory?"

"No, John's been watching the house off and on, he hasn't seen her or anyone else emerge. It is possible that she can't leave the house."

"Come again?"

"Infusing Jane Westerberg with Glory's essence, including strength, memories, evil entity, all that, cannot be simple. There must be conditioning and process. Perhaps the process isn't fully complete. Glory's power will only grow, but for right now, before the Gaud comes, she could be vulnerable." Buffy looked at John apologetically.

"Then we might be able to do this. I...I just want to stop all this, then....for him, because I loved him..."

"Then we can honor Spike properly."

Chapter 27 - For Him

The Slayer lead her friends, now including Clem after they'd woken him from his nap in the car, and John Westerberg back to the house. They had armed themselves with weapons, but Buffy knew that the only weapon needed was Willow Rosenberg and her own fists. Willow stood apart from the others, several feet ahead of them, facing the building.

"Now?" the witch called back, just as the sun dipped below the horizon.

"Now!" the Slayer commanded. Willow raised one hand to the sky and stretched the other down to the earth. Energies welled up from the earth in hues of green, yellow winds from the four corners, swirling up around the witch as well as the others; it began to rain, shimmering drops of blue. She swirled her hands together and between them burned red flames. The energies melded into the violet, shocking and brilliant.

"Iarraidh ar dhuine rud a dhéanamh Gaia! Scrios olc!!" she cried. The ground began to vibrate under their feet, the air around them to electrify and Willow's body thrummed with energies. The witch's hair seemed to become as fire, her eyes ghosting to a complete white, her skin becoming like a precious metal. The others were overwhelmed and moved to stand behind the Slayer, but they needed no protection, Willow was in complete control."SCRIOS OLC!!" She pushed her energy out and to the house.

It was like peeling away the layers of skin, the house's structure was sheared off bit by bit in long strips, then went it's support beams and the floors, the furniture, the plants, everything. Such an enormous structure held an incredible amount of debris, Willow scattered it all over the forest. What was left was the foundation and one pissed off hell god in a brand new red leather designer pant suit. Glory was seething with rage, just the effect the Slayer wanted.

When the sound of falling beams and insides from the house died down, they became aware that the forest around them had come alive. More than two dozen pairs of demonic eyes echoed the snarls and growls from the large pack of Cerberus that surrounded them. The other Scoobies took up the defensive, readying themselves for the moment when the pack went berserk. Buffy came up behind Willow and directed her to help the others. The fight with Glory belonged to the Slayer.

"You know, you're a real pain in the ass," Glory sneered, brushing the dust and filth off herself,"And your little witch damaged the leather!" Buffy advanced quickly, her fist cocked back and ready to pound the hell god's face into a nice bloody pulp. Glory caught the first punch in her bare hand, but Buffy twisted and maneuvered herself behind Glory, delivering a backwards crescent kick to her head and then stomped down on the back of her knee. Glory cried out and rolled away, back on her feet in seconds, incensed and ready to do some damage to the Slayer."There is no part of you that I'm not going to kill."

There was gleam in the Slayer's eyes, it was fueled by more than just the past battles between these two, it was a raw a violent need to destroy the monster that had killed her lover. Glory came at Buffy with the power of a out of control freight train, knocking the Slayer to the ground with a few well timed uppercuts to her ribs. Buffy rolled away, clamoring back to her feet, unscathed."You've gotten pretty weak since the last time I kicked your ass."

"Yeah? And you're not seeming as all choked up about Mr. Sunshine meeting the pointy end of that stake. Wasn't he good enough in the sack to be worth a few tears? I thought he did okay when I had him last year." That parting comment was enough to throw Buffy off her game. Glory side kicked her in the gut and sent her flying out on to the pavement. Glory stalked after her prey, but was prevented from leaving the perimeter of the house's foundation,"Damn!" She pounded her foot on the ground, enough to make parts of the floor cave in,"Hurry up you fools!!" By now Buffy was back on her feet, standing in front of her enemy, the threshold between them keeping Glory contained."He really had killer abs, didn't he? And that toosh! Yummy! But what really threw me for a loop was the size of his..."

"You're a liar!"

"No, really, he was amazing, even by god standards."

"Spike would never touch you, never!"

"You so sure about that, princess? I mean, I had him for an entire day. After the peeling off of his skin and the whole putting my finger in his chest to see if he was warm on the inside like a pie - he was ready for something a little more warm, a nice slice of my pie."

"Sounds more like the worst torture imaginable. Spike would never be with a two-bit whoring fashion victim bitch like you!"

"Who said he had a choice?" Glory made a mean little face at her opponent, twirling a curl of hair around her finger. Ignoring any sort of strategy, Buffy launched herself at the hell god. Part of her knew that Glory was only trying to goad her, but the other half was crazed with the need for vengeance. At the time, Buffy had felt badly for all the injuries Spike had sustained in protecting her sister, but now things were different now. Now, Buffy was disgusted and outraged for more than just his murder. If anything Glory was spouting was truth - Buffy would rip her head off before she killed her.

Chapter 28 - Overcome

Spike slowly and carefully propped himself against one wall of the pit, the furthest away from the Gaudists, what was left of them. When the cave and ceiling above them was disturbed by a intense shaking and the sound of breaking above, half of them had been ordered upstairs to investigate. Spike observed everything he could, perhaps he'd remember something useful for Giles after the thing called the Gaud had escaped. His interest was quickly focused when the two bastards who'd beat him reached into the pit and pulled up an unsuspecting victim. Spike watched in horror as a shadowy entity seemed to emit from the fire and latch itself around the man.

He screamed in agony as his soul was devoured. When it was over, he was silent and motionless, a dead shell. Furthermore the fire took on a pale green countenance and the vessel suspended above it blackened. The vampire cringed at just witnessing the consumption of an innocent soul and feared for his own. It was at this time he felt the reawakening of his demon. Though normally diametrically opposed to his soul, this time it raged at the injustice. The game face and fangs forced their way to the surface and overcame the last remnants of the medication.

However in the time it took him to regain control over his body, another four people had lost their souls. The cultists were in the midst of pulling up a sixth victim when he sprang into action. Soaring above the people, he grabbed the next victim before the process began again, sending him back down with the others. With the chip foolishly removed he had no reservations of beating the living daylights out of his captors. He made short work out of the first two, but quickly came to realize he was vastly outnumbered against the gathering of men and women.

The vessel which was eating the souls was darkening, becoming pure shadow, signaling the time of the Gaud was nearly upon them. Doc, Nurse Beckett and Dr. Hamilton had linked hands as a triune and were caught in the rapture of their chanting and the swell of the green fire. The earth below them appeared to be dissipating as if the monster was clawing up out of his grave. The fire was undisturbed even as the earth fell out from under it. More cultists came to attack the vampire and he showed them no mercy. Bodies flew against the walls. He smashed faces and broke bones, his demon was having the time of his life, relishing all the lovely violence. The soul however kept it in check, not allow him to forget his mission. It didn't look like Buffy was coming any time soon and the Gaud was ready and hell bent on rising.

Hearkening back to just about every text he'd ever read or anything the Watcher had ever spouted about preventing the rising of things, Spike knew he had to break the triune apart and destroy the vessel through which the Gaud was gathering souls to enable its return. He was hampered by the fact that he was surrounded by still more cultists, Doc and his two partners increasing the fervor of their chanting. They came at him and Spike didn't back down. Quite a few he managed to knock out, but some of the larger men wouldn't go down so easily. There was a fissure cracking under the displaced earth below the fire, the Gaud was coming. He fought more violently, not heading the soul's protest, twisting necks and tearing throats. He made significant progress, but by now the flames had engulfed the vessel and its blackness was infinite, made of shadow. Doc's eyes were suddenly upon the vampire, their black gleam triumphant.

"He'll come for the Slayer first," Doc spoke as comely as if offering a cup of tea,"The things he'll do to her before he gives her death." Spike's rage breached a threshold and he went berserk. Indiscriminately he tore his way through the remaining Guadists, then crashed through the joined hands of Hamilton and Beckett. The fire seared his skin, but it was too late to turn back. He reached for the vessel, his hands sinking into the cup as if it were made of water, but he found he had control over it and pulled it with his momentum as he flew through the flames and into Doc. The black basin smashed against the cave wall.

The fire thrummed like a heartbeat, alternating its colors from the pale green to orange and blue. Spike still had his enemy in his tense hands, breaking the demon's collar bones. Even as Doc shouted threats and nonsensical chants for the Gaud, Spike tore him apart as he moved to cast his body into the fire. Doc screamed as he burned, a shrilling piercing scream that sounded nothing like a man's. Spike waited until Doc stopped fighting, until the life was burnt out of him and there was only a body left to fuel the flames. After a time the fire was normal, burning low in oranges and yellows, burning hot with Doc's skeleton serving as kindling.

The vampire face disappeared and Spike flattened his back against the coldness of the cave's stone wall. He looked over the carnage that paved the way back to the pit he'd come out of. They'd been human beings and he'd killed them. He looked down at his hands, stained with blood and blackened with soot and whatever the Gaud's vessel had been made from. There was crying to be heard, emanating from down in the hole, cries for help. There were however some that were silent. The ones from whom the souls had been devoured. They were empty shells, void of sentience. Spike trembled with anguish and fear for what he was about to do, but what he knew deep in his own soul was a mercy. He prayed he was making the right decision, that somehow their souls had been freed with the breaking of the vessel and that this was alright. He broke their necks, killed them, put them to rest.

He couldn't look below at the others that remained, he was sick to his stomach and needed Buffy to come and calm him. He wanted the solace and peace of her embrace, but looking at what he'd done, done despite the soul, he believed himself unworthy of any kindness. He darted around searching for an exit, fitfully wringing his hands. "Blood on my hands....never, never come clean. William will never be clean. Can't ever touch the girl, musn't sully her. Have to be gone when she comes, have to be gone. William is gone, William is gone.....William is gone."

Chapter 29 - Bittersweet

Buffy promised herself and Spike's memory that she wouldn't step off the foundation until Glory was dead. Permanently. With the additional power she'd been infused with, the Slayer was equally matched to anything the hell bitch could unleash. They traded blow for blow whilst at the same time Willow incinerated Cerberus dogs and her friends fought against the throng of cultist that had made their way out from under the rubble to fight.

Glory caught part of her stiletto heel in a floorboard and was unable to kept her balance. Buffy pounced on her and unleashed a flurry of jabs to the face,"Even if you win, it doesn't change a thing - the vampire's dead!" Glory spouted, her voice like venom. Buffy hit her again, cracking her cheekbones, and again, making her nose bleed. Buffy didn't even realize she was crying as she continued to pummel her enemy. The Slayer was unleashing all her anger and grief through her fists down upon the cause of it.

She was a blind fury when suddenly someone was grabbing at her wrists. Buffy stopped, still shaking with rage at a restored Jane Westerberg. She moved away form the frightened teenager quickly, but silently Jane reached out to Buffy."Glory?" Buffy questioned. Jane shook her head and gesticulated that the hell god was gone. Around them the others had also stopped fighting. Most of the Cerberus were either charred or retreating, the cultists surrendering or fleeing. Jane smiled when she saw her father, then ran to his open arms.

"Buffy! What did you you?" asked Giles as he and the others came to her.

"Nothing, nothing, Glory just went away. We have to get downstairs! The Gaud!"

Below they found the cave just as Spike had left it. A fire smoldered to one side of the chamber, the charred remains of a tailed man still burned within. Against the wall were the shattered pieces of the Gaud's vessel, no sign of the fissure in the earth remained. Littered around the dug out pit filled with patients were the dead bodies of evils and innocents alike."Who did this?" Buffy asked rhetorically.

"Hello? Is someone up there?!" a man's voice called urgently from down below, followed by several more cries for assistance. Buffy appeared over the edge, her hand extended to help him. The Scoobies did the same for the others, most of whom seemed quite lucid.

"Tell me what happened!" Buffy asked them.

"There was a monster, god it was horrible. He murdered all these people. He was all white like a ghost and his face was hideous, disfigured, and the fangs!"

"He's not a monster!" Spike. She should have known he was alive, she should have trusted his promise to never leave her. She could feel it now as surely as if her was there with her. Her heart was aching to be with him.

"That man saved your life, saved all our lives," Giles explained, gathering the pieces of the broken vessel to study at a later time.

"Where did he go?" Buffy demanded. When the man didn't answer, she began to unhinge,"Tell me where he went!"

"He started babbling to himself, saying all sorts of nonsense, how he was a bad man, something about getting blood on his girl. I don't anything..."

"Giles!?" she turned to her Watcher.

"We'll take care of things here, go and find him," Giles encouraged.

***
She'd searched the forest around Fernridge all night long. There was no trace of him. She thought it could've been possible he stole one of the staff's cars and made a getaway, but she couldn't tell for sure. Giles had come back for her by morning after the police had come to handle the insane situation that had come to pass the night before. John Westerberg seemed to be able to handle the legal wrangling of the Scoobies involvement. Apparently an explosion in the boiler room had demolished the house.

She went to every place Spike had ever been in Sunnydale until finally she came the last place she could conceive of.

The relief that flooded over Buffy when she found him back down under the school had her crying instantly. She didn't care what shape his mind was in, what he was she loved. Spike was sitting in a lowly corner, his back against the wall and his knees drown up to his chest. His face was hidden against his knees and his arms covered his head. She moved down to him, quietly, a little scared."Spike? Baby, it's me. It's Buffy. Are you in there?" He shifted away from her, still hiding.

"Please go," he whispered.

"I can't, I can't leave you alone here," she whispered back, inching close until they could touch if they wanted,"I've been looking all night for you. I thought you were dead, I thought I was gonna die too - not because of Glory, because I didn't have you. Let me hold you?"

"N...no, I can't touch you."

"Yes you can, come on. Spike, touch me, don't shut down on me, don't make with the crazies."

"I'm not crazy, it's just over Buffy. I can't fight anymore. I'm finished, finished with the whole bloody world."

"Don't say that..." His face shot up, eyes wide and vibrating with emotion and shed tears.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Shocked by his yelling at her, she drew herself back from him,"I'm tired, I need to rest now. Can't you get that? I'm 145 years old, Buffy, I know when it's time to pack it in. I can't do this anymore, day in day out....always with the fighting and the hurting. I'm done! Whatever strength I had is gone! It's been eaten away bit by bit by bit since the day I came to Sunnydale. Can you not see that I'm a broken....no, not a man...not a demon...just a, a nothing. A dead shell still holding on to memories, but the hope is gone. I'm dead, let me rest in peace. Give me this one thing."

"I'm not going anywhere. You're not finished, you don't get to give up or quit. I will not to let you. If I have to stay down here for the next twenty years then so be it. I love you, with everything I am and it's never going away. It's you or no one else for the rest of my life. I'm gonna make you believe it if it's the last thing I do." He gave her a look of disgust, stood up and pushed himself away from her. She got to her feet and went after him.

"Don't say those words, don't ever, can't bloody stand it."

"But you've waited all these years for me to tell you, or don't you love me any more?"

"'Course I love you, always love you...I just can't forget, our past. We should never had gotten together in the first place, it ruined us both." He looked up at her, tears streaming down his face,"You made me into a whore, Buffy, a filthy disposable back alley whore. You took my love and twisted it up." He ground his knuckles into his stomach as he began choking on painful sobs,"I just wanted same as everyone else. I just wanted to be loved...the need consumed me and I snapped and I nearly raped you to make you give it to me! Of all the images in my mind the one of you screaming and writhing in pain, scared underneath by body as I tried to tear off your robe and get between your legs - that is the worst, the bloody worst. There isn't one minute, and this is the literal truth, not one minute that passes without me thinking about that night. I am always reliving it and it doesn't matter that you've forgiven me, I can never forgive myself. I asked for it, but I don't deserve it. I want the pain and the misery because I have earned it, bought it, with interest in blood and the love of a good woman will not cleanse me."

"You know Spike, sorry to quell your dramatic moment, but I just don't care how miserable you want to be, because it's stupid. I am giving you a clean slate, giving us a fresh start, giving us a real chance. Think of it, how happy we could make each other, how much love we could give every day and every night. Imagine the passion, laying quiet together, making love instead of just screwing each other. How many years do I have left? There is only a brief moment set aside for us before I'm gone. We...no, I have wasted so much time. Please don't turn me away, don't punish me..." He held his hand out, fingertips nearly touching the skin of her face, but he pulled it back and looked upon her with ice sharp features and fractured love.

"Can't happen...I'm not long for this world either, Slayer. The demon and the soul are at war and I'm the battlefield. I'm sorry if this sounds especially tragic, but I'm trying for the truth. I'm just not going to last, eventually they'll cancel each other out. I'll go catatonic, crazy again, or evil or join a bloody monastery. I do know that whatever I become it won't be what you deserve. I love you too much to condemn you to the burden of a life with me."

"Cut the melodrama, I'm not buying it..." He got angrier, storming over to her and grabbing her shoulders, making her wince from the pain of his force.

"Get out and don't come back. I might love you, but I don't to be with you anymore."

"You're lying."

"Leave, don't push this or I'll push back. It'll be the bathroom all over again. I'll lose control and you'll suffer the consequences."

"You're the one who's suffering, I can stop it..." He shoved her over, making her land on her back. She calmly got to her feet and dusted herself off. She refused to look back as she made her way out of the caves.

Chapter 30 - Warmth

She was back not ten minutes later, a knapsack over her shoulder and a sleeping back under one arm. He looked at her with a face painted like a Dali landscape, emotions sliding off him in skewed directions. She turned off the flashlight that helped her see her way and flipped on a lighter before he could register the complete darkness. Where she ever came to acquire and oil lantern was out of his realm of reason as he watched her light it, he was on the edge of going ballistic on her, she wasn't listening to what he wanted. If she didn't stop he was going to have to run from this place. If he frightened her in any way it would be doubly grave for the conclusion he had in mind for himself. As it was, the moment after he'd pushed her he'd screamed inside because of it.

He was definite about his fate and this wasn't it.

He made a motion to get past her and without breaking stride, she flipped the sleeping bag out in front of him like a bullwhip, enough to derail his attempt to escape."This time I thought ahead," she began,"I asked myself after you took off - why didn't he stick around for the big reunion scene - you know, your basic running through a meadow, leap into each others arms, big kisses and I love yous et cetera."

"I killed those people, the doctors and nurses, humans."

"Who were trying to bring up a an apocalypse, who brought back Glory. If you hadn't smashed that vessel, Glory would be in the world again still and I can't even begin to imagine the hell the Gaud would have brought. If you're feeling despair over killing those people, then we'll deal with it together. As for the patients, Giles said it was a mercy, they shouldn't have been left to live without their souls - nothing inside, not even a demon. You used to want what I want to give you now. Since you've been back you've shown yourself to be incredibly unselfish. Before you asked for your soul back you were good so I'd love you, but I couldn't because it was me who was messed up. I don't love you because you have a soul, I love you because you're a good and valuable person. I'm not letting that go. Besides, it's high time I make myself worthy of your love."

He opened his mouth to speak, but the din of her heavy soled boots clomping on the cave floor as she kicked them off, kept him silent. She opened the sleeping back and sat on a corner, looking up at him with serenity,"You look like hell, sweetheart."

"Buffy..." he breathed out, exasperated.

"We'll, it's true. You need a shower pretty bad, and a hair cut, but I suspect you need something else a little more." She patted the spot next to her,"Come, please Spike." He hugged his arms around himself, cold arms to his bare torso that did nothing to warm him. She continued to look at him, staring hard, worming herself under his skin and working away at his resolve. "Spike sit down with me." At length he couldn't sustain the stalemate and sat down next to her, but not letting their bodies touch. She opened the bag up further, holding the fabric up." Slide your legs down, rest." He slipped under the covers until his feet touched the sharp metal of the zipper at the end and then turned over, facing away from her. She let the quilted cover down on him, sighing with relief, this was the first step. He flinched when the back of her hand touched his cheek, she simply turned it over and ran it down his neck and over his shoulder."You're freezing cold. I'm not talking vampire cold, you're borderline frostbite."

"I didn't notice."

"That's because for all your noble intentions you're a martyr at heart...I tend to be like that too. I externalized my pain by beating the crap out of you and abusing you in the worst possible ways - such as using you to make myself feel alive, you know it all. You on the other hand pile the hurt on yourself in every way possible, take it all inside. I'm fed up of all of that. On both sides. It's over. In the past. Doesn't exist with us any more. From now on we take good care of each other. Forgive me?" He turned his head and looked at her, perplexed. She bent down a little closer,"Forgive me?"

"Buffy...I...there isn't..."

"Forgive me?"

"Forgiven." His forehead dropped to her shoulder and she hugged him.

"You're so cold. I know you hate being cold, you want the warmth my body gives you...let me..." He tried to move away,"Not sex, it's too soon for that. Just warmth..."

"Alright." She started carefully, rubbing her hands over his bare arm and shoulder, stroking back and forth, giving friction. She pushed him gently forward until he was almost on his stomach. Her hand kneaded and massaged the muscles of his back, carefully working over the canvas, working away the tension. He exhaled and let her take care of him. She got to know his body in a new way, before when she'd only ever clutched him or scraped him in the throws of passion, this time she touched him to try and extinguish is pain. He was going under, nearly asleep as she comforted him, showed him genuine kindness, tried to make him feel her love. She slowed until she was barely brushing over his skin with her finger tip, his flesh infused with her warmth. She climbed in beside him. Before she sunk down she removed her coat and lay it over their legs. She took off her shirt and bra, remembering in the peripheral of her memories that skin on skin was the best way to warm a person up when they had frost bite. She pressed her soft full breasts into his back and felt him shudder. With her cheek to his back, her arm around his waist and the sleeping bag pulled up to their necks they fell into slumber.

CONTINUED...