Look What Love Gave Us


Written by: iyaorisha
Author's Website



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Summary: AU S7. How will Buffy handle it when newly ensouled Spike returns to Sunnydale. Spoilerish for S6 if anyone hasn't seen it yet. This four chapter fic is part of a longer series in progress.
Pairings: Buffy/Spike (also Xander/Anya, Willow/Tara, Buffy/Angel, Spike/Drusilla, Spike/Angel)
Disclaimer: The show Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of it's characters belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, & Fox Prod.
Feedback: Brutal honesty is best (I enjoy floggings, I really do), but warm fuzzies are accepted as well. You can post a review here or email me at fanfic_by_iyaorisha@yahoo.com


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Chapter 4:


By sundown, Spike had recovered enough that Giles discontinued bed rest. At the vampire's request, he also stopped putting the tranquilizing herbs in the pigs' blood. No longer drowsy, Spike sipped at a mug of blood while he retold the story of his quest. "Mind you," he began, "I wasn't looking for a soul."

"No one would believe that." Xander sneered as he checked the point on yet another stake.

To his credit, Spike ignored the comment and continued his tale. Despite herself, Buffy was little impressed by his new self-control. Spike might be subdued because of his injuries, but it did take a lot to let Xander's constant snarky comments slide. And there had been a number of times, when the old Spike would have provoked Xander into testing out one of those brand new stakes.

Earlier, once it was apparent that Spike did not require round the clock nursing, Xander demanded that the vampire move back to his crypt. To Buffy's surprise, Spike agreed.

"It's time for me to leave." He said simply. "Thank you again for everything."

"No, don't leave Spike. Please." Dawn begged. She looked at Buffy and Giles. "You said he wouldn't get better without enough blood. How's he gonna get blood?"

Spike shushed her. "I'll be fine, nibblet."

"No, you won't!" The teen stood up angrily. "Buffy, you can't make him go. How's he going to survive? He won't hunt. He won't steal."

Xander scoffed. "Oh, come on, don't tell me you're buying that 'I'm a noble vampire now' routine, Dawnie. He just want to stay so he can be around Buffy." The construction worker pretended to ignore the scathing looks he got from three sets of eyes.

"I'll manage." Spike told Dawn. "It's really better this way." He started to reach up and ruffle her hair, but the pain in his ribs made him think better of it. Dawn's eyes filled with tears.

"If you make him go, I'm going too." She warned Buffy.

"No." Buffy and Spike both said it at the same time. This prompted the vampire to look for something wooden to knock on, but all he found within arms reach were Xander's stakes. The whelp grinned at him evilly and kept whittling.

Willow took a deep breath. "I'll bring him blood everyday until we figure something out. I promise, Dawnie."

"Thanks, Red." Spike said softly. "But I won't trouble you." He gave Willow a frank look that made her feel he wanted to say more. She glanced away before he could.

"Next, he'll be saying 'I won't stay where I'm not wanted'." Xander mocked the vampire's accent.

Giles put his head in his hands, trying not to think too hard about his quiet flat in England. Around the corner from a lovely pub, it was; and the patrons of the said establishment were paragons of that most British virtue -reserve. No sniping about how anyone was going to get blood. He supposed that he was going to have to do it.

Meanwhile, Spike was trying to calm Dawn. The younger Summers alternated tearful accusations to her sister with increasingly wild threats of stealing blood from hospitals if the vampire wasn't allowed to stay.

Buffy didn't know what to say. It would be an undeniable relief to have him out of the house, to have him out of her bed. Still, she hated to see Dawn like this. And it would be difficult for Spike to get blood. And he was weak enough that she wondered if he could fight off any vampires or other demons who intruded into his territory.

"Buffy, look at him." Dawn pointed to Spike. "He's changed. He's good. I know you can see it."

Buffy looked at Spike. The vampire met her stare. For a moment, it felt to the Slayer like no one else was in the room. She had forgotten that his eyes were that blue. Or how beautifully shaped his mouth was when in human form and untwisted by a smirk. Angel had been handsome, but Spike was the truly angelic looking one. How ironic that his face and form hid a demon.

Less than twenty four hours ago, she had plunged the wooden blade into his chest and somehow missed. Probably because she had been thinking about him, starting to grieve that he was gone, confused at her own sense of loss.

"Buffy, say something!" Dawn pleaded.

She dropped her stare. "Don't forget to take your duster with you when you go."

Spike stood up from the kitchen table and left the room. He was moving too slowly and carefully for her like, so Buffy followed him. She saw the effort it took to pull on his duster. But she was also relieved that it would be gone from her closet, where it had hung all summer as a reminder of the bleached vampire. When Spike left, she would go upstairs and strip the bed, put on fresh sheets that didn't smell like him.

Dawn was shrieking now. "The sun is still up! Why are you trying to kill him?"

Xander grinned as he tossed the sofa afghan to the vampire. There was a brief moment, as Spike peered through the numerous holes in the knitted blanket, when it seemed that his shoulders sagged. Buffy longed for him to flick Xander off, do something other than just leave quietly.

She saw the vampire's discomfort as Giles insisted Xander loan him his car to drive Spike back to the cemetery. She watched him accept from Willow the 2 liter soft drink bottle of blood with what seemed like sincere thanks. Heard him promise Dawn that she could visit. Knew the internal struggle he was going through to ignore Xander's parting shots.

She hardened her heart to it all. Resolved to remain unmoved. But, when Spike groaned involuntarily when a sobbing Dawn hugged him goodbye, Buffy made up her mind. "Wait, Spike should stay another day."

Dawn exploded into cheers and embraced the vampire so hard that tears came to his eyes.

Xander stopped caressing his latest stake. "Don't do this, Buffy."

"Xan, if my 90 pound little sister can put a hurting on Spike, he's too vulnerable to be out on his own and absolutely no threat to me."

"Am not." Spike protested. "The too vulnerable part, I mean."

In response, Buffy walked over and pushed the vampire gently. With the heavy bottle of blood in one arm and a hysterical Dawn hanging on the other, Spike was off balance and staggered a bit. He flashed her a dirty look, which she ignored.

"You're staying until Giles says you're well enough to go." Buffy said firmly. "By then, we'll have worked out some system to see that you get enough blood. Angel must know what to do." Suddenly, she felt very tired. Slaying was easy compared to this.

"Can you make dinner, Willow? I need a nap."

"Sure. Veggie lasagna okay? I don't think I could eat any meat after that trip to the butcher." Willow blanched a little at the memory.

"Anything, Will. Thank you." Buffy turned to Dawn, Xander, and Spike. Until that moment, she wasn't aware that she could channel her mother's voice. "Don't make me come downstairs."

As she went upstairs, Buffy could hear Willow issuing directions to chop vegetables and threatening dire consequences for anyone who got wood shavings or pigs' blood in the bechamel sauce. She had slipped into her bed before she remembered her resolve to change the sheets. The scent of tobacco and whiskey enveloped her and increased the ache in her heart.

***

Over dinner, Buffy struggled to remain convinced that she had made the right decision. It was going to be uncomfortable now that the vampire was awake most of the time. He was already beginning to annoy her, telling Dawn inappropriate stories about his life before he was chipped.

"It *was* you that day at Clem's. Wasn't it?" she interrupted.

Spike grinned. "He wanted me to come clean. All the banging you heard was a tussle for the blanket. I would have gone out the window without it if he had won."

Buffy was kicking herself for not listening to Dawn. "Why did you hide?"

The vampire dropped his eyes. Fiddled with his mug of blood. "I knew you didn't want to see me."

Well, she couldn't refute that. Still, "We thought something bad had happened to you."

"Yeah," Xander said "Why didn't it?"

Willow tried to intervene. "You disappeared, Spike. You should have called or something."

The bleached vampire snorted. "What? You didn't get my postcard 'Hi, everyone. How are things back in good old Sunnyhell. Africa is bloody sunny this time of year. Wish you were here. P.S. I'm bringing home a soul?'". He cackled and leaned back in his chair to drain his mug of blood

"Spike." Giles said in a warning tone that might have carried more weight if it hadn't sounded like he was in the throes of a really bad migraine.

"What? Can't a vampire go on a quest without having to check in every few hours?" Spike was starting to get annoyed. No one had asked him to account for his whereabouts since he was a fledgling. "As you can see I'm fine, other than the hole in my chest." He reached for the pigs' blood.

Buffy grabbed the pitcher and glared at him. "You were gone for two months, Spike. TWO MONTHS. Dawn was worried sick. We looked for everywhere.

Now, Spike looked aggrieved. He set down his mug. "I'm sorry, little bit. I didn't get a chance, what with all the demons trying to rip my head off." Dawn smiled. She had forgiven him already of course.

Spike refilled his mug. "Come on, Dawn. Let's watch cartoons." They got up and left the table. Xander followed them, a half finished stake in hand. After a minute, Willow stood up, too. "I guess I'd better go with them. Keep Xander from accidentally falling on Spike."

Buffy smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Will. I'd take care of the leftovers and dishes." She meant to get up right away, but it was so nice just sitting at the table pretending her life was normal.

"Buffy?"

She looked up from her barely touched plate of lasagna to see Giles peering at her worriedly. "I don't want you to patrol tonight." He held up a hand to silence her protests. "Last night, you missed. There's some thanks for that, I suppose, but you did miss and under other circumstances, it would be tragic."

She nodded.

Giles continued "We'll have extra training sessions tomorrow after you've had a good night's sleep and a chance to recover from the shock."

Buffy smiled. "It is a shock, isn't it?"

They sat silently for several minutes. Then Buffy couldn't wait any longer. "Have you told the Council?"

Giles shook his head. "I'm not sure I should." He took off his glasses and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I'm afraid that a report wouldn't satisfy their curiosity."

Buffy could hear the bleached vampire teasing her little sister. It was amazing how close those two had become since her death. Soul or no soul, Dawnie adored Spike. And, Buffy had to admit that, whatever her feelings about Spike, he seemed to deserve the place he had won in Dawn's heart. She couldn't let the Council capture him and make him a preternatural guinea pig.

She ran her fingers through her hair. "What are we going to do Giles? He can't stay here indefinitely. Xander is ready to kill him and I...I don't know if I can take it either."

Giles hated to hear his Slayer so desperate. "I'll figure something out. Perhaps, he can stay with Angel."

Buffy shook her head. "Even with both of them ensouled, I don't think it would work. Besides, I tried to reach Angel when I woke up from my nap. There was no answer at the hotel. None at all. Not Angel, not Cordy, not Wesley. Or the other two, Gunn and Fred. I'm afraid something is going on in L.A."

They were silent for a few minutes. The only sounds in the house were from the TV where Dawn and Spike avidly watched the cartoon network and the scrape of Xander's carving knife against wood. He had enough stakes now to dust a legion of vampires.

"I'll sleep on the couch tonight." Giles said wearily. "I'm too old to spend another night in a chair."

"Where will I sleep?" Buffy frowned.

"Why, in your bed?" Giles couldn't help but laugh at her horrified expression. "I believe a cot in the basement will suffice for your house guest."

***

Dawn made up the cot with fresh sheets, a cotton blanket, and two pillows from her own bed. Everything was pink and trimmed with lace. Spike lay among these frilly bedclothes examining the sock monkey that the younger Summers had left for him.

Buffy knocked on the basement door. "Can I come down?"

"It's your basement." Spike hid the sock monkey under his pillow as the Slayer came down the stairs. She held a large thermos in one hand.

"Here's a nightcap. Giles said you'd probably get hungry in the middle of the night." She set down the thermos on the folding chair that Dawn had left as a nightstand. "I'm sorry that we're throwing off your rhythms."

"Don't." his voice was soft.

"Don't what?" She picked up the thermos again and sat on the chair.

"Don't be sorry."

Their eyes locked again for a moment and then Buffy looked away. She stared at the thermos of pigs' blood, the bit of lace coming loose on the blanket, even the tail of the sock monkey sticking out from under the bottom pillow. Anything, but his blue eyes so full of something.

"Buffy," Spike started.

"Don't..."

"Don't what? Didn't we just go through this?" He said lightly.

"Spike, did you leave those gifts?"

He didn't say anything for a beat and she knew. "Were you starving because you bought those things?"

Spike still didn't answer.

"We'll have to return whatever can be returned." She said firmly.

"Bullocks!"

"No argument. You'll need the money." Buffy insisted.

Spike was silent, but Buffy knew from the look in his eyes that she was going to have a hard time getting him to 'fess up where he bought the gifts. She decided to let it go for now.

"Look, you can't do give me gifts or anything like that anymore."

"I didn't think they would change your mind. I didn't even do it as a way of saying sorry." He looked away. "I just wanted to make you happy." Now he faced her again, his eyes so vulnerable it made her chest ache. "They did make you happy, didn't they?"

Despite herself, Buffy smiled. "Yes, but...I can't accept anymore."

He nodded, eyes bright. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Buffy."

She was at the bottom step when she remembered. "Um, I know that you like to sleep, um..."

Spike raised a scarred eyebrow. "What?"

" I know you like to sleep naked," There she'd said it. "But, with Dawnie and Willow in the house..."

Spike threw back the sheet and blanket, revealing that he was garbed in one of Joyce's flowered flannel nightgowns.

She was too stunned to say anything.

"Don't laugh, Slayer." He pulled the covers back up to his chin "It was your sister's idea. Bossy brat when she wants to be. She gave me 'slippy socks' too. " He poked out and wagged a foot adorned with fuschia terry cloth.

Buffy did laugh then. Dawn was going to treat Spike like a baby until he was well enough to leave.

Spike gave her a dirty look and then sniffed. "You'd think that a soul would come with one of the few perks of being human?"

"What's that?"

"Body heat. You wouldn't happen to have an extra blanket would you?" He shivered.

"I guess you *are* cold, if you'd wear a flannel nightgown and slippy socks. I'll find something." Buffy got up and began hunting around in the storage cabinet near the back wall.

"That quilt on your bed was cozy." The vampire said hopefully.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "The comforter's staying on my bed. And you're staying down here." She dug in a cardboard box until she felt something scratchy. "Here's a camping blanket for you." She tossed it to him.

Spike sat up and unfolded the 5 by 7 rectangle of boiled wool. He sniffed it and made a face. "Smells like mothballs."

"Good. That means there aren't any holes in it. It should keep you warm. And it smells better than cigarettes and Jack Daniels." She blushed at the reference to her own bed.

The vampire didn't seem to notice. He was too busy muttering something about "sodding indignities". Then he complained that the blanket was rough and scratchy. Just when Buffy was about to relent and let Spike have the comforter, he spread out the camping blanket. Once it was on the bed, he pulled it up to his chin and seemed grateful for the added warmth.

Buffy smoothed down a corner of the bedcovers and then, impulsively sat on the edge of the cot. "Tell me, is it the soul that has made you so patient with Xander all of a sudden?"

"No." Spike fished under the pillows and yanked out the sock monkey.

She took the stuffed animal from him. "What then?"

"I'm not daft. Wanker had about eighty stakes." He said it so unabashedly that Buffy couldn't help but giggle. Soon her giggles turned to full laughter and Spike joined her.

Their shared mirth drifted upstairs just as Xander was leaving with his duffle bag of stakes. Willow saw the pain flit across his face and hugged her friend extra hard. "It's going to be okay, Xander."

"No, no it's not Will. Spike's weak right now, but eventually he'll heal. And when he does, soul or no soul, he'll hurt her."

Willow wished that she disagreed.


 



TBC...

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