Chapter 11

Dawn was dreaming fitfully in her sleep . . .

She was on the beach again, sitting on a blanket as the waves crashed onto the sand.  She could tell it was high noon by the way the sun was positioned in the sky.  She was enjoying the feel of the ocean’s breeze blowing on her skin and the sun’s rays warming her body.

Just then a black sports utility vehicle pulled up right next to her on the sand.  The passenger side window rolled down and Buffy stuck her head out the window.  “Dawn!  I told you to come home for lunch by noon and you’re late, as usual.  Your father and I are very disappointed.”

          Dawn was surprised.  “Daddy’s here?  He came home?”

          The driver’s side door opened and her father came around the car to greet her.  “No you silly girl!  I never left.”

          It was Spike and he was walking in the sun!  His hair was light brown and he was wearing khaki pants and a navy blue polo shirt!  He looked like a Gap ad!  “Come on, Dawn sweetheart, your mother and I have been waiting for you.”

          “But, Spike, you’re not my father.  I’ve never really had a father.  And Buffy’s not my mom.”

          Spike picked up the blanket off of the sand and handed Dawn her towel and sandals.  “What are you talking about, Dawn?  We’ve always been your parents.  Now get in the car and lets go eat.”

Dawn obeyed Spike and the next thing she knew she was back in her bed getting tucked in by Buffy.  Her sister who still thought she was her mother smiled down at her.  “My little girl is so grown up now.  Pretty soon we’ll be taking pictures of you at the Prom and graduation and then sending you off to college.  I can’t believe it.  You’re the best daughter I’ve ever could have wished for.”

          Dawn’s eyes teared up.  She knew this was a dream, but it felt so real.  It was like she’d dreamed herself into the perfect world!  Buffy kissed Dawn’s cheek and got up to walk towards the door.

Spike was at the door watching with a smile on his face.  He then walked over and sat on the edge of the bed next to Dawn and kissed her forehead lightly.  “Sleep tight . . . don’t let the vampires bite.”

Right before her eyes, Spike’s face changed from the living man with the brown hair to the Spike she knew so well.  His hair reverted to its bleached out white and his clothing changed back into his black leather.  Even his fingernails changed back to the standard black nail polish he always wore.

Dawn started to cry and Spike held her close.  “Shh, luv, don’t cry.”

Dawn shook her head.  “This is all a dream.  Just a dream.”

Spike laughed at her softly.  “Sometimes dreams come true.”  Spike reached over and turned off the light on her bedside table and the room went black.

In the darkness Dawn could feel a presence near her bedside. Now that this dream was starting to resemble more of a nightmare than a “perfect” dream world she was getting scared.  Dawn took a deep breath and whispered.  “Spike?  Buffy?  Are you there?”

          She felt the bed shift under the weight of another body laying itself next to her.  *  Oh my God!  *

          “Who’s there?”

          Two strong arms wrapped themselves around her body and pulled her tightly to an obviously male body.

          “Shh, Dee, it’s just me.”

          Dawn turned around to face him.  “Brian?  Why are you here?”

          “You told me to come, so I did.”

          “I didn’t tell you to come over and even if I did I wouldn’t have asked you into my bed.”

          “But you did.”

          Brian leaned in and kissed her fully on the mouth, lightly licking and sucking on her tongue.  Dawn couldn’t believe this was happening, even if it was only a dream.  A very hot and sexy dream all of a sudden.  Brian felt so good kissing her.  She remembered what he’d looked like on the beach yesterday in nothing but his wet bathing suit.  She’d thought the way it hung so low on his hips was very erotic.  She began to feel a very tingly sensation in her stomach.

She could feel his body pressing tightly into hers as Brian’s fingers gently ran through her long hair.  A small sigh of pleasure escaped from Dawn’s mouth as his lips kissed her neck.  “Oh my God, Brian.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was three o’clock in the morning and Brian was up the tree outside Dawn Summers' window watching her sleep.  He didn’t know why he was here.  He just felt better sitting up here near to Dawn rather than all alone at home in his crappy studio apartment above the auto body shop.

What wasn’t commonly known about him was that Brian was an emancipated minor who’d been on his own since the age of fifteen.  He very rarely let on about his lack of family to anyone except those who absolutely needed to know it, like teachers, guidance counselors, police officers and social workers.  He never talked about it with his friends; he never had to, he didn’t let too many people get that close to him.

He’d never known his father.  Daddy was gone before he was even born.  Hell, Dad didn’t even know he existed, whoever he was.  And his mother died only four days after he was born.  At least he’d had his Grandma; she’d raised him.  Although she told him everything about his Mom, his grandmother didn’t know much of anything about his father except that he was originally from France and his name was Steven.  Mom hadn’t known him for very long.  She’d met him while she was attending UCLA back in 1984.  She’d fallen head over heels for the guy; they had a three-month fling and then one night he disappeared.  Mom had told Grandma that the police had found his car parked near an abandoned warehouse and traces of blood, but no body was ever discovered.  The Police department wrote it off as an unsolved homicide.  Then Mom found out she was pregnant with Brian two months later and she decided to keep her baby even though she was still only nineteen.  Grandma had always said that his mother really did miss Steven and wished he could have been there to see his son.

Brian had been born with great difficulty and his mother died from complications during his birth.  But the strangeness of his circumstances did not end there.  He was born a freak.  He had discolored eyes – very large pupils and red irises.  The defect was caused by an unusual blood disorder that the doctors had never seen before.  At first they thought he was an albino child, but when his skin pigmentation and hair color turned out to be normal they were puzzled.   DNA tests revealed an abnormal genetic structure.  The doctors had wanted to do all sorts of research on him, but Grandma insisted that since Brian seemed otherwise healthy she would not allow him to become a guinea pig just because he looked different.  She took him home, raised him and loved him, as she would have any other baby.

When he was four years old she had him fitted with colored contact lenses so that he would be able to fit in with the other children better at Pre School.  She had chosen blue lenses for Brian because his mother’s eyes had been blue.  When they put them on him for the first time they noticed that because of the red behind them they looked a bluish purple color instead of a proper blue.  Well the optometrist and his grandmother agreed that violet eyes were close enough to normal and left them that way.

So, he grew up just like any other child except for a few eccentricities.  Like when he came home from second grade one day and asked his grandmother why all the other kids got to stay home because of a thing called the chicken pox.  Why couldn’t he stay home because of the “chicken disease”? 

If he ate more chicken, could he get it too?  Grandma explained that he just never got the illness.  She didn’t know why.  But she assured him that if he ever got it he could stay home just like all the other kids.  But he never got sick, ever, not a cold, not the chicken pox, nothing.

And then when he was in fifth grade and he had fallen off his new bike and skinned his knees almost down to the bone, Grandma had taken him to the emergency room and had his wounds cleaned and stitched up.  He’d been so happy because he knew he was finally going to stay home “sick”.  But the next morning when she checked his bandages he had been completely healed.  She took out the stitches and sent him back to school.  He had been so disappointed.

  Other disappointments followed as well, like whenever he played football with the other boys, they always seemed to get hurt whenever he tackled them.  And we’re not talking just cuts and bruises but broken bones, lacerations and concussions.  The other boys’ parents would complain about Brian’s roughness to his grandmother.  He felt so bad that he had accidentally caused their pain, he stopped playing sports all together.  Grandma tried to explain that he needed to be gentler and then he could play with the others, but Brian just gave it up.

By middle school, he decided to try his hand at music instead.  Grandma paid for piano and guitar lessons and Brian was really good at it.  He could imitate everything the teacher taught him with minimal practice, finally he stopped the lessons and played for himself.  He could pick up any instrument and learn it in a matter of hours.  Unfortunately, being a marching band geek was very un-cool, that’s when he started his first punk rock band.  He loved that music because it was stripped down to its bare minimum.  The philosophy that less was more applied very well to the music and it got any and all aggression he might have had as a prepubescent boy.

Then Brian hit puberty and things got even weirder, if that was possible.  When he was thirteen he woke up one morning from a nightmare and noticed that his sheets and comforter were ripped to shreds.  Overnight, he had grown claws!  So scared that his grandmother would be mad and see that he really was a freak.  He closed his eyes and tried his best to will them away.  *  Go away! Go away!  I’m normal!  I’m normal!  I look completely normal!  *  He’d looked down at his hands and they were back to “normal”.  That’s when he discovered that he could alter his appearance with just his thoughts.  He spent every free moment in front of the mirror changing his appearance in subtle ways and then not so subtle ways.  He was able to stop wearing his contacts all together, but he kept his eyes the same violet blue color.  He’d change the color of his hair whenever he felt like it.  He could even change his clothes if he concentrated hard enough.

He finally felt comfortable with his new found “magic tricks” that he’d decided to share it with his grandmother.  And then his world fell apart.

He came home from school one afternoon to find her dead on the kitchen floor.  She’d had a heart attack and died earlier that day while making lunch.  He was devastated.  He’d loved her so much, and he never thought that she would just die on him.

Grandma had been his only living family and the state took custody of him.  A series of group homes, foster parents and court appearances followed.  He’d been thirteen when she died and he spent most of the two years that followed running away from social workers and truant officers.  He found himself living on the streets of Los Angeles.  This is where he had his first run-ins with vampires and other demons.  He defended himself against these demons with deadly efficiency and although he was scared shitless of them, he was happy to know that he wasn’t the only freakish creature out there in the world.  He finally decided to get the hell away from LA and he ended up making his way to Sunnydale with a short-lived punk rock band called Dead Ringer.  Once here in Sunny D, he was immediately arrested and brought before a sympathetic judge who decided that if “this obviously intelligent and gifted young man” attended school daily, counseling sessions weekly and found part time employment he could live on his own with assistance from government funds.  So that’s how he ended up here at sixteen with his own car, apartment and band.  But he was still alone, no Mom or Dad, no Grandma or any other family.  Sure, he had friends; he’d even confided a little of his history to Kevin who was a really cool guy to hang around with.  But generally he just kept his secrets to himself.  There was no need to get close to people when you can lose them so easily.

Then one day last year he saw Dawn for the first time at a school dance.  She looked so sweet, like a piece of bubble gum all dressed up in a pair of rhinestone-studded blue jeans and a stomach revealing tee shirt.  Then Kevin pointed out the same girl to him and he said, “There she is, man.  I’m so gonna get her to go out with me this year.”  *  Damn!  *

He tried to forget about her, she was just a girl like any other, but just a little different, more interesting.  Being around her drove him insane.  He’d been sexually attracted to lots of girls before but not like this.  He could swear sometimes he could actually feel what she was feeling.  More often than not she was worried or sad, but on occasion he could tell she was fantasizing about sex, just like he was.  He didn’t think that girls thought about sex at all, but she did; he could smell it on her.  He just wanted to drag her out to his car and do unspeakable things to her right there in his back seat.  But Grandma had always told him that “young ladies were not put on this earth for your pleasure, it is your job to do as they please.”  The old lady may have been long dead, but he still listened to her.

What stopped him from ever trying to ask her out was that not only did Kevin think she was all that, but Dawn was all hot for Kevin also.  It wasn’t until that day at the beach when he could feel Dawn looking at him in his bathing suit did he understand that this time she wasn’t just fantasizing about just anyone, she was fantasizing about him.  He didn’t understand how he knew it, but he just did.  For a brief second he could see inside her head and get the picture that she wanted him to take that bathing suit off and let her see him.  He now had a glimmer of hope where Dawn was concerned.  And then later that night he saw Kevin with his tongue down Dawn’s throat.  That had pissed Brian off immensely, but then when he realized that Kevin wasn’t really Kevin anymore, he knew he had to get her away from him. 

So he stepped up to the plate and did the best he could at the hero gig, but in the end, she ended up in tears.  He’d killed the vampire Kevin had become, but Dawn still lost her hope for a normal boyfriend.  And Brian wasn’t any where near normal.

His life sucked.

So there he sat up in a tree when he should be home in bed, hoping and wishing for a chance with her.  He had had about enough of trying to ignore the very obvious sounds of love making coming from Dawn’s sister and her vampire lover. 

He was just about to climb down and go home when he heard the softest sigh come from inside Dawn’s bedroom.

“Brian . . .”

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Dawn could feel a cold breeze brush past her face as the shades of the dream of her and Brian making out in her bed faded from her view.

Then her bedside light clicked on and she jumped in fright.  Unable to scream, Dawn simply gasped in terror as Brian’s finger came up to her lips to silence her.  “Shh . . . Dee.  It’s only me.  I’m so sorry to scare you like that.”

 Dawn hauled off and punched Brian in the arm as hard as she could.  “Brian, you jackass!”  She hissed at him in a whisper.  “What the Hell are you doing here so late?”

“I couldn’t sleep.  I wanted to . . . um . . . ask you something.”

Dawn was flabbergasted.  She’d just been dreaming that intense dream about him and now here he was, really here.  “Brian, my sister and Spike are just next door!”

Brian shook his head.  “No, they’re downstairs getting it on in the shower.  There’s no way they can hear a thing right now.”

“Oh, eww!  I didn’t want to know that!”

Brian laughed softly.  “Sorry.”

Dawn rolled her eyes at him.  “So, what did you want to ask me?”

Brian took a deep breath and tried to get the words out of his mouth.  “Um, well, I wanted to know if . . .”

“If what?”
          “I wanted to know if you really wanted a normal boyfriend.”

Dawn was fiddling with her new necklace when she put two and two together.  “Brian?”

Brian gulped for a second.  “Yes?”

“Kevin didn’t really buy this necklace for me did he?”  Dawn held the little key out for Brian to see.

Brian couldn’t speak, he was only able to shake his head no.

Dawn needed to know the answer as to why one of her friends would lie about something so important. “Why, Brian?”

Brian hung his head in embarrassment.  “Because he totally loved you and he was the lucky bastard who saw you first.”

“So you bought the key and wrote the note?”

“Yeah, I did, but Kevin would have, if he’d had the chance to.  Believe me.  He would have.”

“So this means that you, um, like me too?”

“No.”

Dawn was not expecting that answer.  “Oh, OK, so . . .”

Brian’s mouth moved too fast for his brain to stop it and he blurted out.  “I’m in love with you.”

Dawn’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.  “Oh, wow!  All this time I thought you were just super nice to me because of Kevin, when all along you wanted . . .”

Brian ran his hands through his hair and started to pace the room.  “I am such an idiot!  I just wanted to know if you could ever you know, look at me that way.”

“I already do.”  Dawn whispered.

Brian’s heart leapt into his throat.  Did he really hear what she just said?  She already liked him like he liked her?  “What?”

Dawn got up out of her bed, walked over to her door and shut it all the way.  She turned and stood in front of the exhausted boy in her bedroom.  “I said I already do, uh, look at you that way.”

Brian smiled widely at her.  “Dee, I’ve got one more question.  If I told you I wasn’t a normal guy, would you still date me?”

Dawn looked at him with confusion.  “You’re not an evil vampire who wants to kill me and make me your eternally undead girlfriend are you?”

Brian chuckled at her response.  “No.  I can say this, I am definitely not a vampire.”

“Well, I’m not normal either so . . . ”

Brian reached out and took a hold of her hand.  “So, wanna go see a movie after you get paroled?”

Dawn smiled at him.  “Yeah, that’d be really cool.”

Brian stepped closer to her.  “I want you to come to our next gig, will you?”

“I will.”

Brian wrapped his arms around Dawn’s waist and pulled her a little closer.  “I want you to be my girlfriend, Dee.  Will you?”

“Maybe if you’re nice, I will.”

He smirked at her.  “Oh come on, I’m always nice.”  Brian stopped thinking about what he was doing and just leaned in and kissed Dawn’s lips softly.  She closed her eyes and her arms instinctively went around his neck pulling him closer until their bodies touched. 

As Brian kissed her, his minds eye could see a flash of images from a dream Dawn had had about the two of them.  It was just a moment, but in that moment, Brian knew everything he’d wanted to know about what Dawn’s fantasies were.  He broke the kiss and pulled her in for a hug.  Brian kissed Dawn’s neck and sucked lightly at her tender flesh as he held her tight.  He whispered to her.  “I want to make your dreams come true.”

Dawn blushed in his arms.  She didn’t want this to end just yet, but she knew that if Buffy and Spike caught her up here with a guy in her bedroom she would be grounded until she turned thirty.

Brian knew that she needed him to take off.  “Hey, I better get out of here, now.  Your parents will kill me if they find me in here.”

“They’re not my parents.”

“They might as well be, though right?”

Dawn smiled.  “Yeah, you’re right.”

Brian kissed her quickly again and headed for the window.  “I’ll call you tomorrow, we’ll talk, OK?”

“Sure, goodnight Bri.”

“’Night, Dee.”

Brian disappeared down the trellis on the side of the house and Dawn watched as he quickly made his way down the street to where his car was parked.

Dawn crept back into bed and prayed silently to be let back into the dream she’d been having about Brian.  She had so much more material to add to it now!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy collapsed in a heap on top of Spike.  She buried her face in his neck and panted heavily on him.  “That was so . . .”

Spike gulped an unneeded breath and finished her sentence.  “Amazing!”

Buffy rolled off of Spike and retrieved her pajamas off of the bathroom floor from where Spike had yet to move.  She stared down at her very exhausted and very naked lover.  *  He really is just gorgeous when he’s naked.  I guess the robot wasn’t lying about that.  *

Buffy handed him his jeans.  “Come on, you’re not that dead, Spike.  Lets go to bed.”

Spike slowly got up off the floor and put his jeans back on.  He yawned and stretched a bit as Buffy watched his tee shirt go over his head.  “I think you’ve tired me out, luv.  And it’s not even sunrise yet.”

“Yes, well an old man like you can’t keep up with a young nubile Slayer like me.”  Buffy joked as she yawned even louder than he had.

Spike picked her up in his arms.  “Well this old man is going to put this beautiful, young and astonishingly nubile Slayer to bed right now.”

Spike carried her up the stairs and as he passed Dawn’s door he noticed that it was shut all the way.  Dawn never slept with her door shut all the way.  The poor girl may say she’s not a kid but she still needed the light from the nightlight in the hallway coming through the crack of her door.  It was so that she would feel secure enough to sleep.  Spike deposited Buffy in bed and went to check in on Dawn. 

Very quietly he opened her door and peaked inside.  All was well.  Dawn was sleeping soundly in her bed and nothing looked wrong to his keen night vision.  But something wasn’t right; something didn’t smell right.  If he didn’t know better, he would have sworn that he smelt that boy, Brian.  Very slowly and quietly he examined the room for any signs of entry.  He looked under her bed and in the closet, but no kid.  He checked the dark corners and under her desk, but again nothing.  Then he felt a small draft coming from the window.  Her window was open about two inches and when he approached it that’s when the smell grew stronger.  *  That bloody wanker has been in here!  Damn it!  *

Spike quietly returned to he and Buffy’s bedroom.  Spike disrobed and got into bed with the very sleepy Buffy.  She rolled into his arms.  “Where’d you go?”

Spike replied in a harsh whisper.  “I was checking in on Bite Size and I swear . . . Buffy, I think that Brian kid was in her room tonight.”

Buffy snapped to attention.  “What?  How can you tell?”

“I smelled him.”

Buffy tried to rationalize Spike’s accusation.  “Couldn’t it just be on her clothes from when she hugged him this afternoon?”

Spike began to doubt himself.  His sense of smell was very well developed and he could have just been smelling a residual scent.  “Maybe, but . . .”

Buffy hugged him tighter.  It was so cute how protective he was being of her little sister.  “I think you’re being paranoid.”

Spike growled softly.  “Have you not noticed the way he looks at her?”

Buffy smiled.  “No, I was a little on the blind side at the time, but I get it.  He likes her.  I think it’s cute.”

“Cute?  He bloody looks at her like a fledgling who has yet to make his first kill.”

“I think you’re exaggerating.”

“Oh am I?  OK then, how old were you when you snuck your first boyfriend into your bedroom?”

Buffy fell silent as she remembered sneaking Angel into her bedroom right under her mother’s nose when she was sixteen.  Dawn was only a year younger than she was then.  “Oh, God.”

“Uh huh.  Makes you think doesn’t it?  You see, luv, inside every ‘nice teenaged boy’ there is a raging sex demon just fighting to get out.  Believe me, I know.”

“OK, I understand, Spike.  If she is sneaking him in then we will punish her, but I am not going to tell her she can’t see him.”

“Why the Hell not?”

“Because it worked so not well with me when everyone told me to stay away from Angel.”

Spike shivered in disgust.  “I am going to have nightmares all day.  Just stake me if the screaming gets too loud.”

Buffy snuggled the vampire in her bed.  “Spike, stop it.  Let’s have a good long nap and we’ll obsess about this tomorrow.”  She planted a long and very reassuring kiss on his mouth.

Spike returned her kiss desperately.  He wanted everything to be all right with the three of them.  He didn’t want to think about some snot nosed kid trying to boink his little girl.  And he sure as Hell didn’t want any Buffy – Angel flashbacks.

The kiss ended and she laid her head down on his chest.  She was asleep within two minutes.  Spike stroked his lover’s hair that was cascading over his bare chest.  Quietly he whispered to the dreaming woman.  “I love you, Buffy.  And I love her, too.  That’s why I’m so paranoid.  I don’t want anything to happen to my girls.”

Buffy dreamily mumbled back to Spike.  “Don’t worry, Spike.  I’ll always be your girl.”

Spike smiled at Buffy’s response to him and silently added.  *  Oh, my Slayer, you will always be my girl.  *

Buffy entered the Magic Shop and spotted Giles at the reading table transcribing some notes into his new lap top computer.  Buffy sat down next to her Watcher and gave him a hug.  “Whatcha working on there?”

Giles gave Buffy an absent smile and patted her shoulder.  “I’m finishing up the last chapter of the translation of those ancient texts I was working on.”

“Wow!  You did that fast.”

Giles smiled and nodded his head.  “Yes.  Well, I did have a little help.  How’s your little sister behaving?  Good, I hope?”

Buffy opened her backpack and started emptying its contents onto the table.  “Well it’s been one week and her prison sentence seems to be going by without any incidents of her boyfriends trying to eat her. She’s been spending all her time either on the computer, watching television or talking on the phone, except of course when Spike is cramming the books down her throat.”

  Giles laughed at the thought of “William the Bloody” as an evil schoolmaster.  *  How fitting!  *  “How ever does he keep her focused?  And would the same techniques work on Slayers?”

Buffy took out her course sign up sheet from UC Sunnydale and waved it at Giles.  “Hey!  I’m signing up for classes as we speak!  And I’m focused!  It’s just that usually the demon slaying and the dying to save the world gets me a little distracted.”

Giles peered back at Buffy from behind his reading glasses.  “Touché.”

Buffy winked at Giles.  “As for Spike and Dawn, he’s been going light on the Shakespeare lately and giving her novels that he thinks she would enjoy like Pride & Prejudice, Jane Erye and Wuthering Heights.  He calls it ‘girlie stuff’, but they’re still considered literary classics.”

“I’m just surprised he isn’t making her read Bram Stoker.”

Buffy giggled.  “Spike would rather try to impale himself with a toothpick than let her read that piece of ‘blasphemous rot’.  Or so he says.”

Giles’ tone then became a bit more serious.  “Buffy, speaking of Spike, I’ve been meaning to ask you about your current living arrangements.”

Buffy groaned inwardly.  *  Oh God!  Here it comes - the lecture.  *  Buffy smiled and took a deep breath.  “Um, OK, what about my living arrangements?”

“Well, while I think that having Spike living with the two of you on a short term basis has been helpful . . .”

Buffy nodded in agreement.  “Yes?”

“But-but, I truly think you and Dawn need to get back to a normal life.  It cannot be healthy for Dawn having a vampire as a member of the household, however 'harmless’ he may be right now.  I would be happy to help him find a place of his own on a more permanent basis.  Maybe a newer crypt or perhaps he can even find an apartment, or . . .”   Giles stopped his speech and watched in amazement as Buffy’s face took on a look of sadness that he rarely saw her wear.  He suddenly felt very guilty for even broaching the subject of “vampire relocation” for Spike.

Buffy put her head down slightly and sighed.  “I know, Giles, but it’s just that I, we, Dawn, um . . .  It’s just that things are going along just fine right now and I don’t want to do anything to upset Dawn.  She is doing really well and Spike is far less annoying and much more helpful and . . .”

Giles was beginning to think that there really was something more to this situation than Buffy was telling him.  “But Buffy, really, think about this rationally for a moment.  Spike is de-fanged for now, but I have full confidence that one day that piece of machinery in his brain will either malfunction or simply wear out.  Then we will all be dealing with a homicidal maniac again.  What would happen if that occurred while he was alone with Dawn or while you were sleeping?”

Buffy’s face began to flush with anxiety.  How could she justify herself to Giles without giving herself or her feelings away?  How could she convince him that Spike would never hurt her or Dawn or would he?  “Giles, I really don’t think Spike would be so stupid as to actually try to . . .”

Giles took his glasses off and crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively.  “Why is that, Buffy?  Is it because you think that since Spike is still in love with you that he’d never hurt you?  That is where you could be very wrong.  If he suddenly lost that chip, how long would it be before both you and Dawn woke up one evening soulless and eternally damned to be his ‘family’?”

Buffy was about to counter Giles’ argument when the doorbell jingled and Willow and Tara entered the shop.  At the same time Anya emerged from the storage area at the back of the shop.  Giles put his glasses back on and bit his lip.  Whispering to Buffy, Giles hugged his slayer to him.  “I’m sorry that I am being so harsh about this, but I am concerned for your safety.  We’ll talk again later, all right?”

Buffy nodded in agreement.  “Sure, Giles, later.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dawn was on the phone again.

Spike stood at the teenager’s bedroom door and waited for her to take a breath or look over at him so he could interrupt her.

Dawn lay on her bed with the phone cradled against her shoulder and her ear as she read through the liner notes of the latest NSYNC CD.  “So he said he wanted to take me to a movie and I was like ‘Sure’ and he was like ‘Cool’.  But I don’t know what we should go see.  What’s a good first date movie?”

Spike shook his head.  She was too young to date!  She only just turned fifteen!

Dawn continued her conversation.  “A.I?  You really think so? I heard the ending was lame.”

“Psst!  Nibblet!”  Spike hissed at Dawn.

As she motioned for him to leave her alone, Dawn mouthed the words, “Not now!”

“Get off the bloody phone!”  Spike growled.

“Hey Mindy, hang on a sec.”  Dawn clapped her hand over the receiver.  “What?  Can’t you see I’m on the phone?  Why can’t you sleep all day like normal vampires?”

“Do you want to meet with me for one hour and discuss “Pride and Prejudice” or do you want me to tell Buffy that you’re not doing your lessons and suggest that you not be allowed to go out on your date with Brian?”

Dawn rolled her eyes at Spike and returned to speaking with Mindy.  “Mindy?  I have to call you back or else my sister’s demon of a boyfriend will suck all the fun out of my life.  I’ll call you tonight.  Bye.”

Spike approached Dawn and held out a copy of “Pride and Prejudice” to her which she accepted begrudgingly.  Spike hissed again.  “Do you have to make this more painful than it needs to be?  I mean that’s usually my job.  You can babble with your girlfriend all you want tonight.”

Dawn took the book from Spike and flipped through the pages.  “What part did we leave off at again?”

Spike smiled and sat down on the bed.  “Elizabeth just told Mr. Darcy where he could stick his marriage proposal.  What a bitch!”

          Dawn laughed.  “She wasn’t a bitch.  He was a complete moron!  He treated her like crap and then just expected her to kiss his snooty aristocratic butt.  He was totally condescending.”

          Spike nodded.  “Yeah, he was a bit of a git wasn’t he?”

          “Yeah, he was!”  Dawn stopped and thought a moment.  “What’s a git?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Back at the Magic Box, Willow was whining and begging at Buffy.  “Oh come on Buffy!  We haven’t gone dancing in so long, please?”

“Um, I don’t know, Spike and I have to patrol and I don’t like leaving Dawn home alone at night.”

Willow pouted a bit while she thought up alternative options.  “Well, you could drop Dawn off at Giles’ or Xander’s for the night.  It’s just the Bronze for a couple of hours after patrol.  Or send Spike home to Dawn-sit.  I really miss having you around when we go out.”

Buffy thought it over for a moment.  “I really want to give Spike the night off from Dawn duty, he spends all day with her and he’s been really stressed lately.”

Willow giggled.  “Stressed?  Buffy, he’s like Mr. Immortal Dead Guy!  What does he have to be stressed about?”

Buffy pulled Willow aside.  “He thinks that Dawn’s too young to have a boyfriend and she’s got one.”

Tara couldn’t help but overhear the conversation her girlfriend was having with Buffy.  “Re-really?  Dawnie has a boyfriend?”

The three women huddled into a quiet corner of the shop and Tara and Willow listened as Buffy relayed the story of how Spike suspected that Dawn might have been sneaking Brian into her bedroom at night.  Willow and Tara gasped and then Willow started to laugh.

Buffy crinkled her forehead.  “Will?  It’s so not funny!”

Willow tried to stop her giggles unsuccessfully.  “But it is Buffy!  Remember back in high school when you totally pulled the wool over your mom’s eyes and snuck Angel into you bedroom?”

“That’s exactly why it’s not funny!  I mean, it’s not like this Brian kid’s a demon, but he’s still an adolescent boy who could totally try to take advantage of Dawn.”

Tara ventured a piece of advice.  “Sometimes the best way for kids to learn is for them to make mistakes.  Maybe you shouldn’t leave her alone right now, but then again she does need some space to grow as a person.  I say keep doing what you’re doing and keep an eye on her, but don’t worry yourself to death about it either.”

“I don’t have to, Spike does that for me.  He’s really on edge about it.  I think he’s really scared something bad will happen to her.  He’s making me all paranoid.  Added to that, Giles thinks Spike’s going to eat Dawn and me if his chip malfunctions.  God!  I’m tired of being responsible!”  Buffy plopped herself down on top of the weapons trunk and sulked a little.

Willow lightly punched Buffy in the arm.  “And what better way to forget your responsibilities than to go out and dance with your best friend?”

Buffy got a determined look on her face.  “You know what?  You’re right!  I’ll go out with you guys tonight.  I’ll meet you there at 10:30, OK?”

Willow jumped up excitedly.  “That’s the spirit!”

“But what about Dawn?”  Tara asked.

Buffy thought for a second.  “Giles?”

Giles looked up from his computer.  “Yes?”
          Buffy put her best smile on for her watcher.  “Can I ask a big favor?”

“Yes, I’ll watch Dawn.  But just for a few hours while you’re out with your friends, all right?”

Buffy ran over to him and hugged Giles around his neck.  “You are the best!”

Anya looked up from her daily receipts.  “May I come dancing, too? Xander has to work late tonight and with Alex out of town, I don’t have anyone to hang out with.”

Buffy was surprised to hear Anya mention the sex demon’s name.  “Alex?  The succubus is still in town?”

Giles answered for Anya.   “Well, yes.  She was coming in twice a week to help with my translations and she and Anya struck up quite a friendship.”

Anya smiled and nodded with enthusiasm.  “She’s helping me plan the wedding.  She doesn’t have much experience with weddings, seeing as sex demons don’t get married.  But she’s planned some really fancy baby showers.  She’s real excited for me - and Xander.”

Giles took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose at the mention of the two women’s new found friendship.  “Yes, they jabber all day long in between customers in some strange demonic tongue.  I never know when they’re talking about me.  It’s very disconcerting.”

Anya immediately got defensive with the Englishman.  “We speak Sardephic with one another.  It’s a primary demonic dialect that’s been spoken for millennia. It’s been around a lot longer than the English language thank you very much.  And anyway, if we wanted to say something about you we’d just say it to your face.”

“Oh, well that’s very reassuring, thank you.”  Giles rolled his eyes and shook his head at the ex-demon shop girl.

Anya continued.  “Anyway, Xander is doing some remodeling work on her new apartment tonight while she’s gone back to Malibu to pick up a few things.”

          Willow interrupted.  “Buffy, you’ll never guess what apartment Alex moved into.”

          “Why?  Where?”  Buffy asked curiously.

          Tara shivered a little.  “She moved in-into Gl-Glory’s old place.”

          Anya waved her hand at mention of the dead Hell Goddess.  “Oh stop it!  It’s not that creepy.  Alex and Xander have almost completely renovated the place.  It’s not anywhere as tacky as it used to be.  Plus it was such a great bargain.  Although they did have to replace the carpeting.”

          Buffy cringed.  “Let me guess, they couldn’t get Spike’s blood stains out of the carpet?”

          “Well, we don’t know that all of the blood was Spike’s.”  Anya said.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dawn got up from Giles’ couch where she had become very bored from flipping channels.  She didn’t understand why Buffy and Spike had to treat her like a baby all the time.  What did they think was going to happen to her at home alone?  Just a few weeks ago Buffy had let her stay home by herself on a regular basis.  What the Hell was different now?  Maybe they just wanted to torture her for the entire two weeks of her “punishment”.

Dawn wandered over to where Giles was sitting with one of his notebooks.  “So, what are you reading?”

“Oh just my notes from my interviews with Alex.  I think I may have enough material for a book from all the information she has given me on the Succubae and Incubi.”

Now this was way more interesting than watching “The Weakest Link”.  “Really?  What did she tell you?  Is it all about demon sex?  Is it gross?”

Giles got a little flustered at the mention of that word – sex.  “No, not really.  It’s very interesting from an anthropological standpoint.  They are truly a sub-species on the brink of extinction.”

Dawn groaned with disappointment.  “OK, now you sound like a professor from the Discovery channel or whatever.”

Giles chose this opportunity to try to explain what he had discovered about the so called sex demons.  “What I mean, Dawn, is that they are hybrids or-or half breeds who are completely incapable of reproduction within their own group.  In order to survive as a species they have developed their demonic powers to suit their primary need.  In response to their need to procreate with human beings, they have created a culture that revolves primarily around mating, reproduction and child rearing.”

Dawn was confused.  “But they’re still demons right?  They’re still evil?”

Giles took off his glasses and began to clean them. “Yes, they are demons and capable of great evil.  However, they have developed a sense of respect for humanity that is rare among other demons.  They respect us because without us, they cease to exist.”

Dawn leaned over and began reading over his shoulder.   So one of Alex’s parents was human?”

“Yes, her father.  She says that he was a scholar and a monk, of all things who later became the abbot of his monastery.”

“But aren’t monks not supposed to have sex?”

Giles chuckled.  “No they’re not, but apparently Alex’s mother was rather, uh, persuasive.”

          “So, if Alex is part human, does that mean she has a soul?”

          Giles was taken aback by the teenager’s innocent question.  “That’s a good question.  Strange, I never thought to ask that of her.  I suppose she might.”

          “Then she and her people can’t be any more evil than humans are.”

          “No, I suppose not.”

          Dawn bit her lip as she debated whether or not to ask the question forming in her brain.  “Giles?”

          “Yes?”

          “Do you think that somewhere deep down inside some vampires their souls are trapped there waiting to get out?  And the reason they can’t get out is because the demon is keeping them suppressed?”

          Giles put his glasses back on and paused thoughtfully for a moment before even attempting to answer.  “Dawn, Spike does not have a soul, you know that.”

          “But he used to.”

          “He used to be human, but now he is not.  You need to remember that.”

          Dawn slumped down on the floor next to Giles’ chair.  “I know, but he’s so good to us.  Giles, you can’t understand, he like, takes care of Buffy and me.  It’s so easy to forget what he is.  I wish you could just see him . . .”

          Giles shook his head at the pouting girl.  “I do see him, Dawn.  I have seen him commit unspeakable acts of violence and cruelty, most of them against your sister.”

          Dawn put her head down and sighed heavily.  “And I’ve seen him do the nicest and bravest things, most of them for me and my sister.”

          “I’m sorry, Dawn, I just cannot forget who and what he is.”

          “I don’t want you to forget what he is.  I want you to realize that he’s doing his best to be good.  If he’s just a soulless demon then I’d say that’s a pretty big accomplishment and if you’d stop being such a git, you’d see that!”

*  A git?  Well, now that’s just lovely!  That bloody vampire is teaching her more than just literature!  *  Giles was shocked at Dawn’s analysis of the Spike situation.  “And I’m supposed to do what?  Forgive him completely and invite him over for tea and biscuits?”

“No, but you should try and remember the good things he’s done and try to forgive him for what he did before.  If Buffy, of all people, can forgive him, why can’t you?”

          Just then the telephone rang and Giles got up to answer it.  “Hello?  Oh yes, she’s here.  May I tell her who’s calling?”  Giles held out the phone to Dawn.  “It’s Cheryl.”

          “Oh!  Cool!”  Dawn snatched the cordless phone out of the watcher’s hand.  “Hey Cheryl!  What’s up?”

Giles attempted to go back to reading his notes, but his thoughts were elsewhere.  As he sat staring blankly at the pages in front of him, he made a decision to pay a visit to Spike and clear up this issue of him living with Buffy once and for all.  It was time for Spike to be relocated.

Buffy and Spike entered the Bronze.  Their patrol had gone well, but there weren’t many vamps out for them to dust.  Spike leaned his lips down to Buffy’s ear and whispered to her.  “I’ll be at the bar if you need me, luv.”

          “You’re not going to come sit with us?”

          Spike shook his head.  “No, you go and have fun.  You haven’t been out with your friends in a long time.  If I get bored I’ll go hustle some pool.”

          Buffy waved her finger at him.  “Don’t steal money from the college students!”

          Spike popped a cigarette into his mouth and lit it up.  “What?  It’s not stealing!  I beat them fair and square!”

          Buffy crossed her arms in front of her and tapped her foot.  “Uh-huh, ‘cause you having over a century’s worth of experience with the game doesn’t give you an unfair advantage.”

          “Enough!  Run along and play with your friends, all right?”

          Buffy held out her hand to him.  “Give me some money.”

          Spike rummaged through the inside pockets of his duster to find his money clip.  Buffy had pretty much turned the finances over to him.  He reminded her when to pay the bills and taught her how to budget until the next support checks arrived.  And since she seemed to never want to carry a purse anymore, she forced him to carry the money along with all sorts of ridiculous things in his pockets.  He had drawn the line at the feminine hygiene products, however.  She could tuck that in her boot!

          Spike handed her fifty dollars.  “Here you go pet, now go dance or something.”

          “You’re Mr. Pouty Vampire tonight!  What’s the matter?”

          Spike smiled at Buffy and reached out to caress her cheek, but stopped himself as soon as he saw Xander Harris enter the club only a few feet away from the two of them.  Spike knew Buffy didn’t want to share the fact that she and Spike were in a romantic relationship with the Scooby gang yet.  Whenever they were around, Spike had to pretend that he wasn’t bedding Buffy every night.  He was beginning to feel like her dirty little secret, and for some reason, which he could not comprehend, it actually bothered him.

          “Nothing’s the matter, luv.  Just come and get me when you’re ready to go home, all right?”

          “OK.”  Buffy smiled sadly at Spike as he left her to go sit at the bar.

          “Hey, Buffster!  Good to see you out and about at the Bronze again.”  Xander put his arm around his friend and gave her a squeeze.

          “Hi Xander!  Anya said you weren’t coming tonight.  She said you were remodeling the Hell God’s condo.”

          “I finished up the spackling early.  I think it came out really well; you should see it.  It doesn’t look like Wonder Bitch ever lived there at all.”

          Xander led Buffy over to the table where Willow, Tara and Anya were sitting.  Buffy decided to question Xander about his fiancée’s new best friend.  “So, I hear Anya made a new friend.”

          Xander smiled.  “Oh yeah, Alex.  I really think it’s been good for her.  Anya’s always trying to fit in better and Alex, well she’s got a lot of the same issues.  They have a lot in common, plus Alex is a great bowler.  I can’t help but like a girl who can knock back nine beers and still pick up every spare.”

          Buffy was amazed at how easily Xander and the whole gang were accepting this demon girl as their buddy.  “So, you guys hang out with her a lot?”

          Xander could sense a twinge of jealousy in Buffy’s voice.  “Well, not a lot.  Just Anya really . . . and Giles ‘cause he’s been picking her brain for demon information.  And I think Willow and Tara went roller skating with her once or twice.”

          Buffy furrowed her brow.  “Roller skating?  Willow?”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

          “Yeah!  Roller skating!”  Willow giggled as she recounted the field trips to the roller rink with Alex.  “It was a little difficult at first, but the music is so retro and we fell on our butts and all these weird guys were hitting on us . . . which is really funny ‘cause when I was straight no guys ever hit on me.”

          Tara nodded with enthusiasm.  “It’s totally hilarious, especially when Alex like morphs into all these different girls all night long and keeps messing with the same guy over and over again.  And he thinks she’s a different girl, but she’s not and, well, it’s kind of evil, but not really.”

“Oh she just does that to see how many drinks she can get out of them.  Remember we didn’t have to pay for one drink that night she kept hitting on those Merrill Lynch guys?”  Anya added.

Willow melted into laughter.  “Oh Buffy!  You have to come with us next time!”

Xander nudged Buffy a little.  “Yeah, they’ve even talked me into tagging my very clumsy feet along for the ride.”

Buffy was confused.  Had she been completely ignoring her friends for weeks at a time?  “Oh yeah!  Guys, I’m so there!  I’ve gotta start getting out more.”  She was beginning to think she should really keep in touch with the gang a little more and stop being so, so . . . Spike obsessed.

Willow glanced over towards the bar with concern.  “Um, why is Spike all the way over there by himself?  Shouldn’t we ask him to come over and sit with us?”

          Xander groaned.  “Do we have to?”

          Willow poked Xander in the ribs.  “Xander!  He’s all alone over there.  Do you think he’s all right, Buffy?”

          Buffy bit her lip.  “Um, I think he’s OK.  Um, unless he’s not.”

          Anya sighed heavily and yelled over the music to get the vampire’s attention.  “Hey Spike!  Come over here!”  Anya pulled out an empty stool for Spike to sit in.

          Spike grabbed two drinks off of the bar and walked over to the Scooby gang.  He sat next to Anya and then slid one of the drinks over to Buffy.

          “Thanks, Spike.”  Buffy took a sip of the drink and made a weird face.  “Whoa, Spike, what is this?”

          “Ginger ale, luv.”

          “This is not ginger ale.”

          Spike took a sip of his own drink to test it.  “You are correct.  This is ginger ale and you’ve got my whiskey.”

          Xander scowled.  “So, Spike, trying to wear her down with alcohol?  That’s not very original.”

          Spike rolled his eyes at the young man.  “Yes, Harris, that my evil plan.”  Spike maniacally rubbed his hands together and cackled in an obviously mocking tone.  “Yes, I will get the Slayer so inebriated that she will instantly fall into my clutches where I will do unspeakable things to her!  Ha-ha-ha-ha!  Sod off!”  Spike got up off the stool and stalked back over to the bar.

          Willow kicked Xander under the table and gave him a hard stare.  Xander winced.  “Ow!  Willow!  What did I do?  You said act normal around him!  Wasn’t that normal?  Uh . . .  oops.”

          Buffy gaped at her friends and then turned her attention on Willow.  “Will?  You told them?”

          Willow got a very guilty look on her face and started to stutter out her confession.  “Um, uh, well, what happened was . . .”

          Anya sighed in relief.  “Well thank God that’s over!  I was getting so sick of pretending we didn’t know.”

          Buffy turned to Anya.  “What exactly do you know?”

          “That you have been sleeping with Spike and this time it’s really you and not a robot.”

          Buffy put her head down on the table and started to bang her head lightly against the wood.  “Oh-My-God!  Oh-My-God!”

          Willow reached out her hand and tried to calm her friend down.  “Buffy, it’s OK.  With all you’ve been through . . . and no one’s judging you.”

          Buffy lifted her head and looked at the group staring at her.  “Why do I feel like I’ve just been ‘outed’?”

          Xander put his arm around Buffy and hugged her.  “Because you have.  The cat’s out of the bag or in this case the vampire’s out of the bag and guess what?  The world didn’t end and we still love you.”

          “No matter what you do or who you’re with.”  Willow added.

          Buffy hugged Xander back.  “Xander?  You’re cool with this?  Really?  ‘Cause I thought you’d try to stake him when I wasn’t looking.”

          Xander nodded.  “I admit the thought crossed my mind.  But I have no right to tell you who you can and cannot date.  Even if he’s an undead, evil, soulless . . .”

          Anya snapped at her fiancée.  “Damn it Xander!  We talked about this!  Why do you have to do that all the time?”

          Xander hung his head in shame.  “Sorry, An.”

          Anya sighed and shook her head.  “Every time I think we’ve gotten past this issue, you keep bringing it up!  Why can’t you remember that every time you bash that fangless vampire you’re insulting me?”

          “That’s weird, I thought he was insulting Spike.”  Buffy stated.

          Anya got up from the stool and started to pace before the group.  “People change!  Even demons can change!  Look at me.  I was Ms. Evil Vengeance girl for over a thousand years and I changed.  Spike’s only been evil for a little over what?  A hundred years?”  Anya’s face contorted as she tried to hold back her tears.  “That’s nothing!  Even if he was a compulsive over-eater as a vampire, the amount of people he’s killed would only be a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of horrible deaths I was the cause of.”

          Buffy got up from her seat and put her arms around Anya.  For the first time ever since she’d known her did she really feel a connection with Anya.  “Anya, please don’t cry.”

          Anya sobbed on Buffy’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  You don’t understand what it’s like.  When you’re a demon, you just don’t care about anyone.  That’s why what Spike does is so amazing.  He’s a demon, but he cares about you like I care about Xander.”

          Buffy led Anya into Xander’s waiting arms.  She watched as Xander whispered his apologies to his bride-to-be.  Buffy tapped Anya on the shoulder and held out a glass to her.  “Want Spike’s whiskey?”

          Anya laughed as she wiped her face with a napkin.  “Yes, please.”

          Buffy sipped on her ginger ale and sighed with relief.  “Well, I feel better now that all this is out in the open.  It’s going to be a lot less stressful not having to keep any secrets.  I’m going to go dance.  Who’s coming with me?  Will?”

          Willow smiled at her best friend.  “Um, sure, I’ll be there in just a sec.”

As Buffy bounced over to the DJ booth to request a song Willow bit her lip and looked at the rest of the group.  “Shouldn’t we tell her that Giles doesn’t know yet?”

Willow’s question was met with an uneasy silence.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike sat at the bar and eyed the bartender with anticipation.  Finally the young man decided to come over and take his drink order.  “I’ll have a pint of the Sam Adams and a shot of Makers Mark.”

“Wow a vampire with a drinking problem, surprise, surprise!”

Spike turned to see a young woman with dark hair and blue sunglasses smirking at him.  He recognized the succubus immediately and so did the bartender.  “Hey Alexandra!  Girl, you look fabulous tonight, as usual.  What’ll you have?  The usual?”

“Ralphie, sweetheart!  I think I’ll join my friend here in a boiler maker.”

Ralphie winked at the demon girl and grabbed the bottle of whiskey.  “Two Sams, two Marks, coming up.”

Alex blew the young man a kiss and sat next to Spike.  “Thank you, gorgeous!”

Spike pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.  “So, do you flirt with every human male or just those that give you alcohol?”

Alex pulled Spike’s cigarette out of his mouth and put it in her own.  Taking a long drag, she blew the smoke in the vampire’s face as she replied to his question.  “Yes, I flirt with anyone who brings me drinks, makes the whole experience more enjoyable.  Plus, I’m a real good tipper.”

“Let me guess, you’re going to give Ralphie there more than just a tip later?”

Alex began to laugh sarcastically at Spike’s assumption.  “Hey, just ‘cause I’m a sex demon doesn’t mean I’m a whore, Blood Brother!  And besides, I think Ralphie’s boyfriend might get jealous.”  Alex sighed with resignation.  “What a waste of good sperm!”

Spike shook his head in disgust.  “That is way more than I needed to know about the bloke.  Bloody poofter!”

Ralphie set the drinks in front of the two arguing demons and went on about his business.  Alex took her shot of whiskey and plopped it into her beer.  “Oh stop it!  Homophobia is so last century!  When the Hell were you born?  The Victorian era?”

Spike followed Alex’s lead and dropped his shot into his beer as well.  “Yes, actually.”  He replied as he drained the pint dry in one full swallow.

Alex was just finishing her drink as Spike was and they both slammed their glasses down at the same time.  Alex giggled at the vampire and stole another one of his cigarettes out of his pack sitting on top of the bar.  “Victorian England, eh?  You have my sympathies.”

“Sod off, Succubus!”

          “You’re in a stellar mood this evening!  What’s the matter?  Still mooning over your slayer?”

          Spike laughed at the irony of this conversation.  He was very happy he had finally achieved a romantic relationship with Buffy, but he was very put out about the fact that he had to hide it from everyone.  He decided not to dignify the sex demon’s question with any sort of answer at all when he saw her jaw drop in astonishment.

          “Oh my God!  You lucky bastard!  You scored with the Slayer?  I don’t believe it!  You said she hated you!  Oh my God!  Come on, tell me, how’d you do it?”

          “Shut up, you bloody Hell Whore!  You want the entire town of Sunnydale to know?  And how the Hell did you know I ‘scored’ with her?”

          “Fuck you, blood sucker!  Again, I’m not a whore!  I’m sexually liberated, there’s a big difference, you know.  As for knowing you’ve been boning Buffy, it’s as plain as the fangs on your face!”

          Spike turned and looked around the club.  He spotted Buffy dancing with Willow.  “Well, her friends don’t know, except maybe the witch and she’s not talking.  I hope.”

          Alex looked over in the direction Spike was facing.  She could see the Slayer getting her groove on with her best friend.  Alex was glad to see the slayer had finally decided to come out of hiding and go out with her friends.  Every time Alex went out with the gang they spent half the time bitching and moaning that Buffy wasn’t there.  Now Alex knew exactly why Buffy had been so curiously absent.

          Alex motioned to Ralphie for another round of drinks and tapped Spike on the shoulder.  “Gotta light?”

          “Oh, sure.”  Spike fished his Zippo lighter out of his pocket and lit up the demon’s cigarette.

          Alex accepted the light and smiled at the blond vampire.  Just as she was going to thank him she noticed Buffy eyes shooting daggers over in their direction.  *  Oooh!  She’s turning green!  *  “Check out your girlfriend, Spike.  She’s really into you.  You’re totally on her mind!”

          Spike took a sip of his beer and then turned his attention back to Alex.  “I am?  Really?”

          Alex playfully punched him in the arm.  “Oh my God!  Yes!  Hello!”

          Spike lowered his voice to a whisper.  “Can you read her mind?”

          “No, not really.  I just get impressions from people.  In order to get into human beings’ heads I have to touch their minds in an invasive way.  It takes quite a bit of energy, so we only do it when we want to . . . you know.”

          Spike nodded.  “Get it on with a human?”

          “Exactly!  So I don’t know Buffy’s specific thoughts, but I do know that right now she’s fuming because I’m sitting too close to you.”  Alex leaned over and whispered into Spike’s ear.  “How much you wanna bet she’s over here in the next two minutes?”  Alex waved at Ralphie again.  “Ralphie?  Can I get a Sea Breeze over here, too?”

          Spike waved his hand and dismissed Alex’s assumption.  “Nah!  She’s with her friends.  She’s busy dancing.”  Spike glanced over and saw Buffy walking towards the bar with a determined look on her face.  “She’s coming over here!”

          “See!  Love will do that to a girl.”

          Spike laughed out loud.  “Love?  You think she really loves me?”

          “Oh come on, Spike!  Like that girl would sleep with you every night if she didn’t love you?  I don’t take her for the casual sex type.”

          Buffy walked right up to the two demons at the bar.  “Hey, Spike.  Hey, Alex, I thought you were in Malibu.”

          Alex smiled at Buffy and handed her a mixed drink.  “I got back early.  Anya said you guys would be here tonight.”  Alex motioned to the drink she just handed Buffy.  “Sea Breeze is your favorite, right?”

          “Yeah!  How’d you know?”

          “Demon’s intuition.”

          Buffy took a sip of her drink and eyed Alex and Spike.  “So, what were you two talking about?”

          Alex dropped her shot of whiskey into her beer.  “Actually, we were talking about you.”

          Spike shot Alex a wide-eyed look that unmistakably said, “Shut the fuck up!”

          But Alex just kept on talking without missing a beat.  “Spike was saying that there was no way that I could take you in a fair fight.  And I was saying sure, a slayer can always win a fair fight, but demons are demons and we don’t usually play fair, do we?”

          Buffy nodded in agreement and poked Spike in the arm.  “You got that right!  This one here never plays fair!”

          Spike laughed nervously.  “Well, Buffy, I was trying to kill you at the time.”

          Buffy turned back to Alex.  “Oh, Alex!  That reminds me, Willow was telling me about that teleportation spell you were teaching her and how that if I studied enough, I might be able to do it too.  Do you think I could, ya know, open up a portal and kick box a few vamps into another time zone?  ‘Cause that would be so neat!”

          Alex bounced enthusiastically at the prospect of actually getting to know the slayer instead of hearing about her constantly.  “Oh, of course you could learn!  All it takes is a little concentration and the correct pronunciation of the incantation.  Anybody can do it with some practice.”

          “Great!  Can you come over tomorrow before I go on patrol?  I’d like to start learning before I have to start fall semester.”

          Alex pulled out her day planner.  All Buffy could think was  * Why does a demon need a day planner?  *  Alex flipped through a few pages.  “OK, tomorrow, I’m free after 7 p.m.  Is that good for you?”

          Buffy nodded in agreement and then started to tug at Spike’s arm.  “Seven?  That’ll be fine, Alex.  Spike?  Do you want to play pool with me, Willow and Xander?”

          “Yeah, sure, Slayer.”

          Spike and Buffy grabbed their drinks and started to leave when Buffy turned back to Alex.  “Oh and Alex?  I could so take you!”

          Alex began to laugh and shake her head at the slayer.  “Probably, Buffy, but I bet I could still give you a run for your money.”

          “I thought you sex demons were lovers not fighters.”

          “We prefer to be lovers, but we’re fighters when we have to be.”  Alex said as she raised her glass to the blond couple.  *  That lucky son of a bitch!  I’m alive and I can’t find a decent human relationship.  He’s dead and he’s gettin’ it every night!  *  Spike and Buffy nodded their goodbye to the succubus and headed off toward the pool tables.

Alex looked up towards the ceiling and addressed the Powers that Be.  “Ya know, the irony is not lost on me!  How ‘bout sending me one too?”

Buffy squeezed Spike’s arm, hard.

“Ow!  Buffy!”  Spike whined.  “What the Hell was that for?”

Buffy smiled.  “For making me all jealous!”

Spike rubbed his arm.  “Of who?  Alex?  I wouldn’t touch that over sexed succubus with Xander’s dick!”

Buffy laughed.  “I know, but I just didn’t like how close together you two were sitting.  It made me all sick inside.  What were you two talking about really?”

Spike placed his hand on the small of her back and lightly stroked her exposed skin.  “You, luv, and how much I bloody love you.”

Buffy smiled widely.  “You better.”

“I do.”  *  And maybe some day you will too.  I hope that Alex’s demon intuition is right!  *

It was midnight when Giles opened the door to his apartment.  Buffy and Spike had come to collect Dawn. 

Buffy smiled at her watcher as she entered his home. “Hi, Giles.”

Spike leaned up against the doorframe and nodded to the man with expectation.  “Rupert.”

Giles wasn’t expecting both of them to come and fetch Dawn.  “Oh, hello.  Dawn is asleep on the couch.”

Spike crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at the doorway.  “Well?”

Giles put his reading glasses back on his face and looked at the blond vampire questioningly.  “What is it, Spike?”

Buffy put her hand on Giles shoulder and whispered.  “Do you want to invite him in?”

Giles had completely forgotten that he had Willow revoke Spike’s invitation a while ago.  Giles mentally debated with himself for a moment and decided to invite Spike in again.  “All right, Spike, come in.”

Buffy walked into the living room and found her sister curled up underneath a knitted afghan.  She looked so young just then, like when she was little and Mom used to let her stay up to watch Saturday Night Live, but she could never keep her eyes open long enough to make it through the opening monologue.  “So did she make you eat cookie dough and talk about boys again?”

Giles sighed with relief.  “No thankfully.  But she talked to every other teenaged girl in Sunnydale for about four hours.” 

“Yeah, she does that.”  Spike said as he sat down next to the sleeping Dawn and quietly tried to wake her.  He put his cold hand on her forehead and her eyes fluttered open.  “Spike?”

“Come on, Princess, time to go home.”

Dawn smiled up at him, stretching and yawning.  “Carry me?”

“Of course.”  Spike easily lifted the teenager into his arms.

Buffy rolled her eyes at Dawn’s apparent regression into a four-year-old girl.  “Spike, don’t spoil her, she can walk!”

Spike smiled as Dawn snuggled into his leather duster.  “I don’t mind; she’s as light as a feather.”

Dawn stuck her tongue out at her sister and Giles.  “She still gets to play the baby, so not fair.”  Buffy hissed under her breath.

Spike gave Buffy a knowing smile.  “I’m going to get this gangly thing into the car.”  He lightly bounced the girl in his arms.  “Come on, Nibblet.”

Dawn waved at Giles.  “G’night, Giles.  Thanks for the cookies.”

“Good night, Dawn.”

“Rupert.”  Spike nodded to the watcher again as he carried Dawn out the door.

Buffy grabbed Dawn’s backpack.  As she headed for the door, Giles touched her shoulder.  “Come and see me at the shop tomorrow morning?  I’d like to finish our talk.”

Buffy nodded with resignation.  “Sure, I’ll be there.  10 o’clock OK?”

“10 o’clock.”

From his window, Giles watched as Spike opened the car door for Buffy.  The vampire performed this action as if it were second nature to him.  As if he’d never been her enemy, as if she’d forgotten and forgiven his former deeds.  Dawn had been right about that.  It was sweet really, the way she smiled softly at him as she slid into the passenger seat.  It was endearing how she looked at this demon as he got into the driver’s seat and started the car.  And it was down right romantic how his right arm was held out inviting her to sit closer to him.  Then it was frighteningly horrific as Giles could see Buffy’s silhouetted form glide into Spike’s embrace as the vampire drove away with the two girls in his car.  Giles’ brain raced with the implications of what he’d just witnessed.  His eyes glazed over as he made the deduction.  “How have I been so blind?  She’s in love with him!  God in Heaven!  I need a drink.”  Rupert Giles spent the rest of his evening climbing into a really big bottle of Merlot.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anya signed for the Fed Ex package early the next morning, a box from England.  Giles put it on the reading table and Xander sat looking at it with anticipation.  He hated seeing an unopened package.  It reminded him of Christmas mornings when his parents were sleeping off their hangovers and he had to wait until they were awake to get his presents.  Correction:  make that present, as in one.  “What is it?”

Anya sat down next to Xander and bounced with curiosity.  “Yes, is it something we can sell?”

Giles walked over to it with a box cutter in hand.  “No.  It’s some information I requested from the Watcher’s Council.”  He sliced it open and peered inside.  “I think they hit the jackpot.”  Giles pulled out a large accordion file about five inches thick.  It read:  Spike a/k/a William the Bloody f/k/a William Edward Bennett, IV.

“Wow!  All that’s about Spike?  What’s in there?  A list of all the people he’s killed?”

Giles opened the file and pulled out an envelope labeled photos.  “No, it’s his life.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

          When Buffy and Dawn entered the Magic Shop the first thing they noticed was Xander’s face staring at a small pile of papers, which appeared to be photographs.

          Dawn sat across from Xander at the reading table and stared at all the papers strewn about.  “What’s all this?”

          Xander looked up briefly at Dawn.  “Spike.” - was all he said.

          Buffy peered over Xander’s shoulder.  “What about . . . Spike?”

          Xander held the picture up for both Buffy and Dawn to see.

          Dawn’s jaw dropped for a moment as she gaped at the computer scanned photograph.

Buffy’s reaction was similar as she gasped and put her hand over her mouth.  “Oh my God!”  She whispered into the palm of her hand.

          There was Spike - only it wasn’t Spike at all.  They were looking at a man in his late twenties who appeared to have light brown hair, although it was difficult to tell because the picture was only in black and white.  His eyes were obscured behind a pair of old fashioned spectacles.  He looked like something straight out of a Merchant-Ivory film – a stuffy, Victorian Englishman with a shy and gentle smile.  There was virtually no trace of the sarcastic bleach blond vampire they all knew.

Buffy snatched the picture away from Xander and sat down with it.  She studied it intently looking for any resemblance between this long dead man and the demon with whom she now shared her life.  As she looked at his slightly crooked smile she could see the similarity between the two.  That was just how Spike looked every morning when she rolled over to kiss him hello.  It was the same sweet smile he always gave her, just before he pulled her back into his arms to beg for her affections one more time before she left him for the day. 

*  I wonder whom he was thinking of when this picture was taken.  *

          Buffy shook her head in disbelief.  “This is so, so, so . . .”

          Xander nodded in agreement.  “Trippy isn’t it?  I mean look at the guy!”

          Dawn gently pulled the photo away from her sister and studied it herself.  “I think he looked sweet!  Like a real nice guy. . .”

          Giles entered the room carrying what appeared to be a glass of Scotch.  “Yes, apparently, he-he was a nice fellow and a smart one at that.”

          “Giles?  Are you drinking?”  Buffy asked in disbelief.

          Giles snorted slightly.  “I really needed this!”

          “At 10 a.m.?”  Dawn asked.

          Xander flipped through some more of the photos and answered Dawn’s question.  “Well, it is Happy Hour in London, right Giles?”

          Giles frowned at the young man.  “Do shut up, Xander.”

          Xander opened his mouth for another witty comeback, but then thought better of it.  “Shutting up.”

          Dawn shuffled through some of the papers on the table reading bits and pieces of them.  “You said he was smart, right Giles?”

          Xander laughed.  He just couldn’t contain himself.  “As in Dr. Evil smart?”

          Giles took another swallow of his drink.  “No.  I mean as in Oxford educated, degree holding, treatise writing – smart.”

          Dawn smiled at Buffy.  “I knew it!  No wonder he’s been torturing me with the literature all summer.  It’s what he studied.”

          “So you’re saying he was Mr. Book Worm?  Spike?  Excuse me, I’m gonna lose it.”  Xander burst into hysterical laughter once again.

          Dawn put her hands on her hips and pouted.  “Xander!  Not funny!”

          “Oh yes it is!  Between these pictures and his former geek status, he’s going to wish he was dust in the wind!”

          Buffy mirrored her little sister’s body language and turned to her friend.  “Xander!  No!  You are not gong to make fun of this!  It’s not fair.”

          “Fair?  Oh I think it’s very fair, Buff.  All those years of him calling me a loser when the whole time he was covering up the fact that he was just as nerdy if not more?  It’s payback time, baby!”  Xander rubbed his hands together in excitement.

          Dawn got up and poked Xander in the arm.  “Xander!  That is so childish!”

          Xander’s expression changed from gleeful to serious.  “I know.  Dawn, you’re right, it is childish and wrong.”

          Dawn nodded with satisfaction for a moment, until Xander started to snicker again.  “It may be wrong, but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to still do it!”

          Dawn and Buffy surrounded Xander menacingly.  Dawn looked to Buffy for a moment and then spoke sweetly to Xander.  “So, you’re going to what?  Make fun of Spike for being a book worm like Giles or Willow and for being a total spaz with girls, like, like you were?”

          Xander clutched his chest as if he’d been wounded.  “Ouch!  Dawnmeister?”

          Dawn shrugged her shoulders at him.  “Well, it’s true.  Right, Buffy?”

          Buffy nodded in agreement.  “You were kinda, well, you know and then you went out with Cordelia.”

          Xander put on his best puppy dogface.  “Buffy?”

          Dawn stuck her finger in her mouth at the mention of Cordy’s name and started to gag herself.  “Ack!  Ack!  Evil May Queen!  Ack!”

          Dawn and Buffy’s giggles were cut short by the entrance of Giles holding a small leather bound book with handwritten pages.  He seemed very agitated and he started to quickly pack all the papers on the table back into the accordion file.  Giles snatched a photo from Xander’s grip and stuffed it into the file.  “Where’s the fire, Giles?” Xander asked.

Giles looked up at the three young people and shook his head.  “I, just-just need to read these in a quiet place without all the dis-distractions.  Tell Anya she’s got the shop to herself today.”  And with that Giles hurried out the door not noticing that one of the photos had fluttered to the floor behind him. 

          Dawn retrieved the photo from the floor.  It was a picture of Spike with a young lady; a teenager no older than Dawn.  They were both smiling softly in that proper English sort of way.  The handwritten note underneath the scanned photo read: “William, aged 27, Grace (sister), aged 14.  “This is Spike’s little sister . . .” Dawn whispered.

Xander and Buffy looked over Dawn’s shoulder at the picture.  Xander shook his head in disbelief and Dawn sighed. “It’s wiggy ya know?  He was a human, just like us.”

Buffy nodded in agreement as Dawn continued.  “It’s getting harder and harder to see him as just a soulless demon.”

Xander shrugged his dissent.  “Well, yeah, until he starts sucking down a pint of pig’s blood or running around town with a tarp over his head.  Plus the fangs – dead give away.”

Dawn looked at Buffy with a thousand unanswered questions on her face. “I wonder what happened to his sister, his family, ya know, after he . . .”

Buffy opened her mouth to respond, but Xander interrupted.  “He probably ate his family, like Angel did.  Or maybe he fed them to Angel.”

Dawn and Buffy shot disapproving glances at Xander.  “I’m just saying.  He was evil – er, eviler, back then.”

Later that evening at the Summers’ home, Dawn pushed start on the dishwasher and shuffled herself into the living room where Spike was sitting with the remote control.  She plopped herself down next to the vampire and looked at him with her innocent blue eyes.

Spike raised his eyebrow at the girl.  “What?”

“I’m soooooo bored.”

“Well, Anya and Alex are coming over in a bit.  You can play with them.”

Dawn snorted.  “Blah!  They’re so boring.  All Anya ever talks about is the wedding and Alex spends all her time trying to teach Buffy the correct pronunciation of ancient Greek or Sumerian or whatever.  Like she’s ever gonna learn that anyway.”

Spike flipped the channel to the Soap Opera network.  “Well, you’re grounded little girl so you’ll just have to deal.”

“But I’m going stir crazy!  Can’t we just go out and do an errand or something?  Don’t we need milk or bread or cow’s blood or something?”

Spike rolled his eyes at her.  “No.”

Dawn whined in Spike’s ear and started to whimper into his shoulder like a wounded puppy.  “You’re so mean!  Can’t we at least just go for a walk?  It’s not like I’m asking you to let me go out with my friends or anything.  Just you and me, we’ll leave Buffy at home.”

Spike pulled Dawn in for a hug.  She could make him turn into a sorry excuse for a demon with one look at her pleading blue eyes.  * I am such a bloody poofter! *

“All right!  Fine!  You win, Platelet, I suppose we could go get some ice cream or something.  Would you like that?”

Dawn looked up into the vampire’s face and smiled softly at him.  “Yes.  Thanks, Spike.”

“Go get your coat.”

Anya and Alex descended on the Summers’ home armed with bridal magazines, fabric swatches and a really big book on witchcraft for Buffy to study up on.

Buffy frowned when Alex handed her the book titled “Witchcraft – The Complete Reference Book for Beginners & Experts”.  “Maybe we should just teach Willow this spell.  I don’t think I’m going to ever get that incantation right.”

Alex put her hands on her hips and whined at the Slayer.  “Oh come on, Buffy!  Willow already knows this spell; she’s all Ms. Bewitched herself.  I’m here to teach you how to do it.  All you have to do is have some patience, read a couple of chapters and concentrate.  You’ll be tele-porting demons in no time!”

Anya snatched the witchcraft book away from Buffy as she spread out her bridal magazines all over the coffee table.  “OK!  Enough witchy talk!  Let’s move on to more interesting things, like what you’ll be wearing to my wedding.”

Buffy shook her head.  Anya was always so self-possessed, sometimes it was downright annoying, but she didn’t blame her, getting married was a big deal.  Buffy sat next to Anya and began to look at the dresses, some were pretty, but most were the basic taffeta nightmares every bridesmaid had to endure.  “Anya?  Shouldn’t we be doing this at a bridal shop?  Don’t you want to see how these dresses are going to look like on me and Willow and Tara for that matter?”

Anya smiled.  “Oh we don’t need a bridal shop for that.  Show her, Alex.”

Alex stood before them, took a breath and closed her eyes.  Suddenly she morphed into the image of Buffy wearing a black chiffon dress with an empire waist and her hair done up in curls.  “Oh Wow!”  Buffy gasped.

Anya continued to smile widely.  “I know.  I really like the way you look in that one too, it’s our favorite.”

Alex spun around and blew the girls a kiss then opened her mouth to speak.  Both Anya and Buffy were surprised to hear Alex’s real voice coming out of the faux Buffy’s mouth.  “So what do ya think, Slayer Girl?  Are we hot or not?”

Buffy and Anya looked at one another and Anya spoke up.  “Uh, Alex?  If you’re gonna look like Buffy please try to talk like her too.”

Alex cleared her throat and responded in Buffy’s voice.  “OK, but why?”

Buffy sighed in relief.  “’Cause it’s just way too creepy.”  Buffy picked up a Bloomingdale’s catalogue off of the end table and started to flip through the pages.  When Buffy got to the page she was looking for she held it out to Alex.  “Ooh!  Show me if I’d look good in these jeans!”

Alex looked at the jeans and quickly morphed into the outfit the model on the page was wearing.  “How’s this?” the succubus asked.

Buffy tilted her head to the side and thought a moment.  “OK, Alex, turn around I wanna see if they make my butt look fat.”

Anya giggled at her friend as Alex rolled her eyes and turned around.  “Oh sure, Anya!  Hearing me talk in my own voice is creepy, but having you laugh at my ass is so much more non, uh, creepy!”

Anya laughed even more.  “Well, technically Alex I’m laughing at Buffy’s ass not yours.  Don’t buy those jeans, Buffy.”

Buffy laughed a bit at this and then did a double take at the ex-demon’s insult.  “Hey!”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dawn ate the last of her ice cream cone and tossed her napkin into the trashcan by the boardwalk.  She and Spike had taken a ride down to the beach and he’d bought her the ice cream he’d promised.  Dawn shivered in the cool night air; maybe ice cream hadn’t been such a good idea.

Spike looked at Dawn rubbing her arms in an attempt to get warm.  “That denim jacket isn’t very warm is it?  Want to wear mine?”  Spike asked as he shrugged off his duster and wrapped Dawn in it.  “Better, Princess?”

Dawn smiled up at the vampire in the black tee shirt and jeans.  “Yeah, thanks.  So, you never get cold?”

“I can feel the cold, but it doesn’t really bother me, no pulse no shivers, ya know?”

They walked along the boardwalk by the ocean in silence towards his car.  They’d been gone nearly two hours and Buffy would probably be wondering where they were.  Dawn hugged Spike’s coat closer to her body and inhaled.  It smelt just like him - stale beer and cigarettes with a hint of Tide laundry detergent and Bounce fabric softener.  Since Spike had moved in he’d actually started washing his clothes on a regular basis and even had invested in more than just the one tee shirt and jeans.  Buffy even said he’d bought a couple pairs of boxers.  When Dawn had asked why he didn’t have any, Buffy just blushed and mumbled something about commandos and then dropped the subject.  That had confused Dawn.  *  What do army guys have to do with Spike’s underwear anyway?  *

Dawn banished the thought about Spike’s skivvies and her mind wandered back onto the pictures she’d seen of him today at the Magic Shop.  She’d seen a glimpse of the human man he’d once been.  He was somebody’s son, somebody’s friend, somebody’s classmate, somebody’s brother.  What had happened to all those people after he died?  Did he eat them like Xander supposed or did he just disappear into the vampire underground?

“Spike?”

“Yeah, luv?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Nibblet, ask away.”

“After you, uh, died and became . . . uh . . .”

“A vampire.”

“Yeah, did you eat your whole family?”

Spike cringed.  “What?  What gave you that idea?”

“Well, Xander said that Angel ate his family after he was turned . . .”

“I’m not Angel.”

“I know, but did you eat your mother and your sisters?”

“No, luv, I didn’t.  I ate some of my acquaintances; sure, there was some sweet revenge to be had.  But I didn’t want to kill my Mum or Charlotte.”

“Charlotte was your sister, I thought you said you had two sisters.”

“I did.  But I told you, I only had one living when I died.”

“So your other sister . . .”

Spike looked away from Dawn’s gaze and towards the ocean.  “Grace.”  He whispered as if he’d only just remembered the name.  “Her name was Grace.  She died.”

Dawn felt horrible.  She shouldn’t have brought this up.  She didn’t know what to say.  “I’m sorry.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Alex sat on the couch having transformed back into her normal demonishness.  The three women were all sipping on some wine that Anya had brought and munching on cheese and crackers while comparing fabric swatches for the groomsmen’s cummerbunds.  All three were getting pleasantly toasted, Buffy and Anya especially.  Alex smiled widely at the two human girls.  “This is so exciting!  I’ve never planned a wedding before.  I’ve been to a couple, but I never thought I’d ever get to be so involved in one.”

Buffy took another swallow of her wine and smirked at Alex.  “You’re like what?  Five hundred years old?  And you’ve only been to a couple of weddings?”

Alex scoffed dramatically at the Slayer.  “I am not five hundred!  I’m three hundred and thirty-nine.  And that’s still considered pretty youthful in my family.”

“They don’t have weddings in your family?”  Buffy asked as she stuffed another cracker laden with Brie into her mouth.

Anya shook her head at Buffy.  “No, sex demons don’t mate like that.  They love ‘em, get the offspring and go.”

Buffy poured herself another glass of wine.  “Wow, that’s romantic.”

Alex frowned.  “No, to a human I suppose it wouldn’t be romantic.  But we can’t mate for life like you can.  The fact that we age differently from humans makes it, well, difficult.”

Buffy thought for a moment.  “Well, why don’t you just marry an incubus or whatever?”

Both Anya and Alex nearly choked on their drinks and let out a collective. “EEW!!”

Buffy looked confused.  “What?”

Alex looked completely grossed out as she attempted to explain.  “That’s so totally, disgusting.  It would be completely incestuous.  Like having sex with your brother or father.  And anyway, we’re not genetically compatible amongst ourselves.  We can only have children with humans.”

Buffy nodded with melancholy understanding at the succubus’ plight.  The slayer completely understood how hard mortal/immortal relationships could be, Hell, she’d had one and was now on her second.  “So you can never have a lasting long term relationship, bummer.  I can totally sympathize with that.”

Alex drained her glass and poured another.  “Marriage is a human concept – a rite of passage and a celebration of love that demons like me don’t get to enjoy.  But we sex demons do celebrate the birth of our first child in a similar way.  It’s a big party with gifts and music and dancing and of course lobster.”

Buffy thought for a moment.  *  Maybe Alex is a mother.  But she never talks about her kids.  *  “Alex?  Do you have children?”

Alex put her head down and started to study her fingernails like they were the most interesting things in the room.  Quietly she answered Buffy’s question.  “No, no I don’t have any children, yet.”

Buffy immediately felt bad for asking the question at all.  Alex had gotten a sad far off look when she’d answered Buffy’s innocent question.  “Is that because you’re you still too young to be popping out the uber-demons?

Alex lightened a little.  “No, we mature as normal humans do, we’re born, grow up and hit puberty, but there are some other factors that make it different for us.  And sometimes it prevents us from. . .”

Anya interrupted Alex’s speech.  “It’s ‘cause she’s a girl.”

Buffy crinkled her nose.  “Why would that make any difference?”

Alex sighed.  “Well, first off, the males of my species can knock up any woman any time, 24/7, 365 days a year.  But us females have a different kind of cycle.  We can’t conceive like you human girls can, we don’t get a chance every month.”

Anya was finishing off the bottle of wine and opening another.  “Yeah, it’s more like once every twenty-four months.”

Buffy’s eyes widened.  “You mean you only get your period once very two years?  Wow!  I wish that was the case for me.”

Alex laughed loudly.  “Oh no you don’t!  When it does come it’s, well it’s not pretty.”

Anya raised her glass.  “It never is.”

“Tell me about it.”  Buffy agreed.

Alex handed her empty glass to Anya to fill.  “Plus, I like have PMS for a whole four months before.  Talk about being bitchy.  I usually get into a lot of fights.”

Buffy nodded.  “Remind me to stay out of your way.”

Alex continued to laugh.  “No, I usually leave humans alone, unless they start shit with me.  It’s the other demons that get the brunt of my bitchiness.  But I won’t be like that for at least another year or so.”

Buffy’s inhibitions were dropping away fast and her brain began to stop filtering what was going to come out of her mouth.  “OK, so not trying to make you feel crappy here, but in three centuries you haven’t been able to you know.”

Alex liked this girl, she was direct, no bullshit.  “Again, Buffy, not so simple, at least not for me.  Sure, I could get knocked up by Mr. Sperm every two years but that’s not what I want.  I want the right guy you know?  My cousin, Rita says I’m too picky, but her kids are as dumb as rocks!  It just goes to show, there’s no substitute for good DNA.”

Anya leaned in and whispered loudly into Buffy’s ear.  “She was holding out for JFK, Jr., but he went and got married and then got dead.”

Alex let out a whiny moan.  “Anya!  Don’t start!  I’ve had alcohol and you’re gonna make me cry again.  John, Jr. was so, so, um. . .”

Both Buffy and Anya sighed and spoke in unison.  “Perfect?”

Alex got a wistful faraway look in her eye.  “Yep.  He was a perfect specimen.  And all those years I lived in New York!  I should’ve just seduced him!  I’m so stupid!  I’m going to have to wait at least another fifty years before I find another guy who’s so smart and good looking and . . .”

Anya yawned loudly.  “Alex, you’re rambling again.  Here, have some gum.”

Anya handed Alex a stick of gum and Alex popped it into her mouth, chomping loudly.  “Sorry.”

Anya whispered to Buffy again.  “Very emotional about the John John issue.”

Buffy nodded.  “Yeah, I get that.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike turned his attention back to Dawn and flashed her a reassuring smile.  The Little Bit was just being curious.  *  Stupid Xander.  Stupid Angelus.  Always giving me a bad rep.  Most of it deserved but not in this case.  *  Spike sighed heavily.  “She was fifteen when she got pneumonia, she hung on like a trooper, she did.  I missed an entire year at university to stay at home with her and Mum.  It was awful.  Just when we thought she was going to make it through just fine, she just. . .  she just slipped away.”

Dawn put her hand into his.  “I understand.”

“I know you do, Bit.”  Spike broke out of his reverie.  “Well, enough of the boo-hooing about something that happened over a century ago. . .”

Dawn took the vampire’s hand.  “I’m still sorry.”

Spike squeezed her hand and then let it go.  “What do you say to renting a movie?”

Dawn smiled.  “Can we make popcorn?”

“Of course.  What would you like to see?”

Dawn thought for a moment.  “How about Dracula?  We can make fun of Gary Oldman’s freaky hairdo.”

“Yeah, but let’s not forget how great our friend Gary was in Sid and Nancy.”

“Sid and Nancy?  Who are they?”

Spike put his arm around Dawn’s shoulder.  “So much more I need to teach you pigeon, so much more . . .”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Xander had stopped by to pick up Anya and when he arrived he found three very drunk ladies in the living room watching the Thomas Crown Affair and screaming about Pierce Brosnan’s butt.  When Anya tripped over her own feet and landed on the carpet, Xander knew it was time to call it a night for his fiancée.  She put up a fight that lasted all of ten seconds until she got dizzy.

“OK, time to go home, An.”  Xander said smiling suspiciously at Buffy and Alex.  “Did you two do this to her?”

Anya shook her head furiously and slurred.  “No, honey, I did it to myself.”  Then she burped very loudly.

Alex and Buffy erupted into giggles.  “Oh yes, thank you girls!  Come on, Anya, it beddy bed time.”

Anya grabbed her fiancé’s arm and stumbled with him towards the front door.  “Bye!  Bye Alex!  Bye Buffy!”

Buffy ran towards Anya and hugged her.  “I’m gonna miss you!  I know I don’t ever tell you, but I love you, Anya!”

Anya burst into tears.  “I love you too, Buffy!”

“We’re going to have so much fun at your wedding!  It’s gonna be so beautiful!  I promise.”  Buffy sniffled into Anya’s shoulder.

Alex shook her head and raised her arms in mock defeat at the scene unfolding before Xander’s eyes.  “I had nothing to do with this drunkenness.  I brought the cheese and crackers!”

Xander rolled his eyes and pried Buffy away from Anya.  “Good night, Buffy.  Good night, Alex.”  He then ushered his bride-to- be out to their car.

When Buffy returned to the living room Alex was packing away the magazines and other wedding paraphernalia.  “Are you leaving?”  Buffy asked.

“Yeah, I should get on home, get out of your hair.”

Buffy started to clear away the empty wine glasses.  She was still very tipsy and she just couldn’t help but ask the question brewing inside of her since the succubus had come over.  “Alex?  Can I ask you something?  It kinda personal.”

Alex narrowed her eyes at the Slayer’s serious tone.  “OK?  Sure.”

“When you morph or change or whatever, can you be anyone?”  Buffy asked uncertainly.

“Yeah, I can be anyone.  I can be anyone’s fantasy or just some random person to blend into a crowd or Hell, I can even be a shadow or a swirl of smoke if I wanted to.  Takes practice, but . . . why are you asking?  Did you need me to pull something stealthy off for you?”  Alex replied, still unsure of Buffy’s train of thought.

“No, nothing like that.  But you said you could be anyone’s fantasy, but it doesn’t have to be a sexual fantasy does it?”

*  Now why is she asking me this?  Why is she so interested all of a sudden?  *  Alex finished packing up the books and fabric swatches.  “Noooo, but Buffy, what did you have in mind?”

Buffy sat down on the coffee table and looked up at Alex’s apprehensive expression.  Buffy took a deep breath and whispered.  “My mom.  I never got to say goodbye to my mom.”

The motive for Buffy’s questions registered with Alex immediately.  Waves of sadness and grief began to flow from Buffy - this poor girl missed her mother and she obviously wanted to see her again, if only for a little while.

Alex bit her lip and reached out to take Buffy’s hand.  “Oh Buffy, I don’t think that’s a very good idea.  It might be too confusing for you.”

Buffy started to sniffle a little.  “I just wish she was here, just for a few minutes, just so I can see her, hear her.”  Buffy’s eyes were rapidly filling up with tears as she continued to beg.  “Just for a little bit?  Please, Alex?  You’d-you’d be able to see what it’s like to be a mother and I can ‘talk’ to her.  Just this once, just to say some of the things I never got to say.”

Alex thought for a moment.  The succubus knew she could pull it off, it would be simple, but she was a little afraid of what kind of emotions she might be tapping into: grief, sadness, loss and even worse, love, real maternal love.  It was something that Alex had never had before and seemed a little too tempting to pass up.

“All right, Buffy, but the second it gets too weird for either of us, we stop, OK?”

Buffy nodded.  “Agreed, weirdness starts, we stop.”  Alex took a step back away from Buffy and the Slayer looked on as Alex’s eyes flashed back to their natural red color.

“OK?  So what do we have to do?” Buffy asked.

“All you need to do is close your eyes and think about your mother.  It will be easier to do if you’re thinking of her while I transform.”

Buffy obeyed Alex and shut her eyes, for a brief moment Buffy felt a small head rush.  Alex placed her hand on Buffy’s shoulder and when Buffy opened her eyes she saw her mother, Joyce, standing there in front of her.

“Oh my God, Mommy?”  Buffy gasped at the miracle standing in her living room.  She hesitated only a second and then went directly into Alex’s arms, bursting into tears for the second time in one night.  In the back of her mind, Buffy knew that it was only Alex wearing her mother’s form, but she felt so real.  “I miss you so much, Mom.  So much.”

Alex led Buffy to the couch where they sat and Buffy squeezed her into a very powerful hug.  Alex held Buffy in the crook of her neck and stroked her hair as Buffy continued to cry red-hot tears down her cheeks and onto the front of Alex’s blouse.  “I miss you too, sweetheart.”  Alex said while rocking her back and forth in her embrace, but hearing her mother speaking to her only made Buffy cry harder.  *  Her voice, it’s her voice!  *

Alex was starting to lose it and she held Buffy tighter.  She could feel the young woman’s anguish.  She could see all of her memories of her mother, Joyce flooding into her brain.  Joyce had been a wonderful woman, a loving and supporting parent to her two girls.  Alex had never done anything like this or felt anything like this before.  She’d never even considered trying to become this kind of fantasy.  Alex started to cry, shaking with Buffy’s grief and love for her mother.

Buffy looked at the tears coming down “Joyce’s” face.  “Please, Mom.  Don’t cry.”

Alex did her best to pull herself together for Buffy.  She was good at this for God’s sake!  She was one of the best at transformation in her entire family.  She could certainly hold this illusion together for the benefit of a grieving girl.  “You’re right, Buffy, enough of this.”  Alex grabbed some tissues from a near by box of Kleenex.  She gently dabbed away Buffy’s tears and then smoothed out the golden strands of hair out of her face.  “You wanted to talk to me.  Tell me, what’s on your mind?”

“I never got to say goodbye to you.  I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I wasn’t there when you – when you . . .”

“When I died?”

Buffy nodded.  “I should’ve been there, I could’ve . . .”

Alex cut her off quickly yet gently.  “Buffy, listen to me.  I know you don’t want to hear this, but sometimes, people die because it is just their time.  You’re the Slayer, you save lives every day and it’s only natural that you think you could’ve saved me.  Don’t forget you did save me more times than I can count.  But I didn’t die because you weren’t doing your job, I died because it was my time.”

“But it’s not fair!  Why?  Why did it have to be you?  And right after you died it was my time and I don’t know where I went, Mom.”  Buffy sobbed.

Alex was confused.  What did Buffy mean that it was her time?  Just then a flash of a memory invaded her mind.  Alex could see it - see Buffy saying goodbye to Dawn and then jumping into a swirling vortex of energy.  Then there was blinding light and pain and then nothing.  This girl had died. 

When Alex snapped out of the vision Buffy was still talking to her.  “I think I was in Heaven, and if it was Heaven I’m sure I was with you, but now I can’t remember it clearly at all.  I feel like I never got the chance to say goodbye to you in this life or the next!  Both life and death cheated me out of saying I love you, saying that you made me everything I am - a good Slayer, a good sister, a good woman.”

Alex didn’t know what to think of this.  It was all so unsettling, how could Buffy have been dead?  How did she come back?  “Honey?”  Alex asked in Joyce’s voice.  “How did you come back to life?”

“It was so hard coming back here.  So hard.”

Again Alex’s mind was bombarded by Buffy’s memories.  She felt what Buffy had felt.  Waking up gasping for air inside a dark coffin, clawing her way out of the ground, the pain, the confusion.  Then she saw an image of Spike as Buffy descended the staircase in this very house.  The expression on his face was that of complete wonder and devotion.  She could hear his soft voice as he led Buffy to the couch to tend to her wounds.  He had spoken to her gently.  He was a comfort to her in a time of great distress.  He understood what no one else could.

Alex could distantly hear Buffy’s narrative about her resurrection by Willow and the Scoobies’ spell, her resentment for being brought back from the peaceful here after and her eventual acceptance of her life back on the Hell Mouth with her friends, Dawn and Spike. 

Finally, Alex spoke again.  “Spike helped you, didn’t he?”

“Spike.”  Buffy whispered to herself.  “He-he loves me and Dawn so much.  And he’s done so many good things for us. . .”  Buffy stopped and looked into the face of this woman gazing back at her with her mother’s eyes.  She was scared to say what she’d been thinking about for the past few weeks.  If she said the words out loud, then it would be real.  Buffy squeezed her eyes shut for a second, took a breath of courage and said: “I’m so in love with him.”

A single tear spilled down the Slayer’s cheek and she continued.  “Is that bad?  Am I wrong to love him?”

Alex didn’t know how to respond.  On the one hand, she was a demon who was very envious of the relationship Spike had forged with the Slayer.  But on the other hand she felt suddenly very protective of Buffy, like she really was Joyce and wanted to keep her daughter safe from the likes of Spike.  An image of Spike getting smacked with an axe ran through her brain.  Alex laughed in spite of herself.

Buffy was confused by this reaction.  “Oh geez!  Why are you laughing?”

“Sorry, I was just remembering Parent/Teacher night.  ‘Get the Hell away from my daughter!’”

Buffy was too surprised by this.  If she didn’t know better she would have sworn that this was her mother.

“I forget, why does Spike like hot cocoa again?”

“Because when he was upset about Dru dumping him, you gave him hot chocolate with those little marshmallows.”

“Oh yeah?  He really liked that didn’t he?”

Buffy smiled.  “Yeah, he did.”

“Honey, I know Spike is a vampire and doesn’t have a soul and that worries me.  So I want to say, don’t do this.  Remember what happened with Angel . . .”

Buffy sighed at the painful remembrance of her first doomed relationship.

“But, I’ve never been scared of him like I was of Angel, even before he got the chip in his head.  And then there’s Dawn to consider, she really cares for him doesn’t she?”

“Yes, she does.  She loves him, Mom, like, more than Dad.”

“Well, that’s no wonder.  Hank is even more soulless than Spike.  Oops, sorry.”

Buffy laughed.  “It’s all right.  So, what do I do then?”

“It’s not for me to decide, Buffy.  You’re all grown up now and I trust you.  I’d trust you with the fate of this world so I’m sure I can trust that you will make the right decision.”

“So, I should break up with him?”

“You should listen to your instincts on this.  Tell me, do you trust him?”

“Yes, with my life and Dawn’s.”  Buffy replied without hesitation.

“Then that’s your answer.”

Buffy nodded her agreement.

“Buffy?  Can I give you a little advice, not as your mother, but as a friend?”

“Sure.”

“Tell him.  Tell him you love him and he will never harm you or anyone else again.  And be honest with everyone about it, OK?”

“OK.”

They sat and stared at one another for a moment.  Buffy reached out and touched Alex’s hair.  She lifted her bangs near her hairline to reveal the brain surgery scar.  “Wow!  Everything’s exactly the same, just like her . . . thank you.”  Buffy hugged her again.

As Alex hugged her back, she felt like this really was her little girl, even though she was a grown woman.  Buffy had asked her for advice and she had taken it.  She had only told her what she’d already known inside her heart, but she just needed someone to point it out to her.  Alex stroked her hair and listened to her breathing.  *  Why can’t I have this?  Why can’t I be a mother?  Why am I a failure at becoming the one thing I’ve been trained to become for my entire existence?  *  She needed to get out of here before she started to beg Buffy to let her stay her mom forever.  “Buffy, I’m going to change back now, OK?”

“So soon?  Just a little longer?”  Buffy started to sob a little again.

“I really need to.”  Alex stated firmly.

“OK.”  Buffy whispered and as soon as the words left her lips she could feel her mother’s body change back into Alex’s form.  Buffy began to pull away from the succubus, but Alex pulled her closer.  Buffy could feel Alex shaking with tears, and she wasn’t sure why.  “Alex?  Are you all right?  Why are you cry…”

Alex sniffed and let go of Buffy and got up off the couch.  As she wiped away her tears, she grabbed her bags and headed for the front door.

“Alex?”  Buffy called out to her.

Alex turned to face the Slayer.  The demon girl leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead.  “Your mom was so lucky, you know that?  I’ve been on this earth for over three centuries and I’ve never . . .”  Alex faltered a little and then continued.  “Just remember, she may have died too soon, but I know she lived a full and happy life.”

“But you didn’t ever meet her . . . how could you know that?”

“Because she had you.”

          Then Alex practically sprinted to her car, got in and sped away before Buffy could say anything else.

          Buffy shut the door and whispered.  “Goodbye, Mom.”