Summary:
This story is set post Normal Again, season6; it picks up after that episode but
is further on not linked to season7.
Disclaimer: I
claim to own nothing but my own imagination and the characters not connected
with BtVS, which will be presented in this work of fiction. All praise to Joss
Whedon, creator extraordinaire, and to all the incredible actors and actresses
of the series who bring the characters life, body and
soul. Note: This
story is set post Normal Again, season 6; it picks up after that episode but is
further on not linked to season7. I hope some of you might enjoy it as much as
I’ve loved writing it. To all who supported it from day one at ff.net, thank you
and a huge hug to y’all. Thanks to Richess for hosting it on OGL. You rock,
girl! Thanks to all the readers who might begin to put their time into this
story, you are all in my heart, k?
Feedback:ghostrider01@usa.com
She walked in through the kitchen door and after closing it she proceeded to
walk to the refrigerator. Her head was still buzzing with thoughts, but now
those of Spike and all that surrounded him had crowded out the ones of the
Asylum. She should have been grateful, but she almost felt like the Spike issue
was worse. It could seriously mess up this so-called life of hers if he actually
decided to come through with his threat of telling everybody about…
“Hi
Buffy!” Dawn’s ever so cheery voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked up,
surprised, as her sister entered the kitchen from the living room.
Buffy
shut the refrigerator-door, quickly coming to the conclusion that she wasn’t
very hungry, before saying:
“WHAT are you doing up?”
“Hey, you
don’t have to go all ‘mommy’ on me, okay?” Dawn answered defiantly, holding up
her hands in front of her as she added: “It’s only twelve thirty AND it’s
Friday, remember? No school tomorrow!”
Buffy looked
apologetic.
“Sorry,” she said, sighing. “Long night, I
guess…”
“Oh, kill any monsters?” Dawn asked, this mostly to be
supportive.
Buffy smiled slightly at her effort.
“Yep, and a few
really ugly ones too,” she answered, then stretched her neck a little, trying to
see farther into the living room than was possible she added: “Is there someone
here?”
“Yeah, Spike’s in the living room watching some old movie that is
so boring you could actually kill yourself… He seems to like it though. But
then, he doesn’t run the risk of KILLING himself, since he’s already kinda…dead.
Anyway, I just came in here ‘cause I heard YOU…and to get some
refreshments.”
“Spike’s here?” Buffy asked, her heart starting to go
flip-flop in her chest.
“Yeah,” Dawn answered simply as she went up to
one of the cupboards, opening it and grabbing a bag of potato
chips.
“Really? …Heh…”
“Buffy? What’s the matter?” Dawn asked,
turning around and seeing the look on her sister’s face getting paler by the
second. “Is everything okay, you look kinda… I don’t know?”
“What?” Buffy
asked, sounding a little too startled by the question and starting to fidget
with the hem of her shirt to cover it up. “No, everything is…peachy. Especially
since…Spike…is here…So, have you guys been talking a lot or…?”
“Buffy,
this is SPIKE we’re talking about, you do know that right? He DOESN’T
talk.”
“Yeah,” Buffy said, letting hear a nervous laugh that didn’t quite
sound like her and Dawn gave her a strange look. Buffy cleared her throat,
looking away. “Of course; like I said, loooong night. Could you send him in here
when you get back in THERE ‘cause I have to…eh, tell him about this…thingy that
I…slayed…”
“Okay…” Dawn said slowly, opening the bag and tipping out the
contents of it into the ceramic bowl she also had collected.
Lifting it
in both hands she started walking towards the door through which she had
entered, hesitating in the doorway a moment she turned back to her sister and
said:
“But just so you know, I think it would be better if you went to
bed. You seem really tired and you don’t look too well.”
“Oh, I will.
Sure. I just have to see Spike first. It’s important…after that, I am heading
straight to bed.”
“Yeah, okay… Hey, to save time maybe you just wanna
take Spike with you?”
“What?!” Buffy exclaimed, almost choking on the
word.
“I’m kidding!” Dawn assured, giggling. “Gees! …You should have seen
your face! Oh, Buffy… are you okay?”
“Yes,” Buffy answered quickly.
“Fine. Now, please, just get him in here!”
Dawn exited to the living room
with one final glance at her sister, wondering what the heck was up with her
NOW.
Buffy waited impatiently, drumming her nails against the kitchen
counter.
WHAT was he doing there? She didn’t want to see him! What was he
DOING there?!
Soon enough Spike showed in the living room doorway,
crossing his hands over his chest he stood watching her for a moment, leaning
casually against the doorframe.
She had lifted her head as she heard him
approaching and now she glared at him, wanting him to know how much she detested
his presence, how much she wanted him to go away. But all it provoked was that
arrogant little curling of his lips and his eyes softening with
laughter.
She went up to him with a furious look on her face, and
grabbing him by the arm of his trench coat she dragged him through the kitchen
and out through the kitchen door.
Once it was safely shut behind them she
turned to him.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” she asked,
trying to keep her voice as low and steady as possible, the anger in it making
the latter difficult. “What? Are you coming after my sister now or something? Is
there no bottom to how low you can sink? If you have told her
ANYthing…”
“Stop. Just stop it,” he interrupted her, his eyes ablaze with
fury at her words but trying to keep his voice as lowered as was manageable as
well. “Buffy, you don’t know what the devil you’re talking about… Dawn came
looking for YOU, she found ME. She was lonely and she asked me if I would mind
staying here with her ‘til you got back… all VERY innocent. Now, to these
accusations that you just threw in my face, did you really think that I would go
after DAWN? What the bloody hell would that accomplish? You’d hate me even more
and I’d hurt a FRIEND of mine in the process.”
“I don’t HATE you,
Spike.”
The statement came without thinking and she was a little
surprised at hearing it. Or rather that she had just admitted it to his face,
everything would be simpler if he could just go on believing that she didn’t
even like him.
The _expression in his eyes had quieted down and now they
were merely questioning her.
She met them, looked as far into them as she
dared to let herself and then she broke contact, annoyed with herself that she
had to but unwilling to risk what consequences looking too deep might have. He
still had more power over her than she would have liked.
With a sigh she
remembered what she had just stated, and she searched for an answer.
No,
she didn’t hate him. But…
“I just hate that part of you that…” she began
but he softly interrupted her.
“…Makes you want me?” he asked, leaning
closer into her, their bodies practically touching he slid a hand up her hip and
let it rest on the small curve of her waist. She looked up at him, fighting the
wanting of him, knowing it was wrong. “Makes you need me?” he asked as he let
his face sink towards hers.
“No,” she said, putting a hand on one of his
shoulders, making him stop his movement and look at her. “The part of you that
makes me not able to.”
His eyes. His eyes! She looked away, pushing past
him to open the door. Without looking back she went
inside.
***
She walked as quickly as she could away from
the door and into the living room, afraid that if she hesitated for a moment he
would come after her, grab her, demand her to explain what the hell that was
supposed to mean, as was his usual manner.
But as she took a seat on the
couch next to Dawn, who was staring in disgust at the black-and-white TV-screen
with a half eaten potato chip in her hand, he hadn’t even opened the door yet.
She drew a breath, trying to steady her heart.
Stupid really, how every
time she risked her life she could be calm and concentrated and calculating,
knowing every move of her opponents just a fraction of a moment before they did.
But with him, whenever he looked at her, then her stupid heart would of course
choose to go bonanzas, making up for all the times when it didn’t, or so it
would seem.
She knew he could feel it, he must know… Still, that
_expression in his eyes. Why must he affect her so much? She didn’t love him;
she wasn’t IN love with him! The thought would after all be absurd. The only
thing she felt for him was some kind of raw, animalistic…
“Weren’t you
going to bed?” Dawn’s voice asked her, for the second time that night
interrupting her thoughts.
Buffy turned to her, confused. Her mind slowly
getting back into focus, and the question, which had brought it there, not
really heard.
“What?” she asked and Dawn smiled, chewing her chip and
then swallowing before repeating it. “Yes,” Buffy said slowly, shooting a glance
towards the kitchen door and wondering what became of the vamp. “I just have to
go check on something,” she added, giving Dawn’s leg a pat as she got to her
feet.
“He wouldn’t leave without saying good-bye to me,” Dawn said
matter-of- factly and Buffy froze, putting on a stale smile as she turned to her
sister.
“Really?” she asked and Dawn nodded, eyes back at the
screen.
“Yup. Besides, I don’t think he’d leave without saying good-night
to YOU,” she said with a shrug. Then she turned her eyes to Buffy. “Do you?” she
asked and Buffy was about to open her mouth and say ‘yes’ when a loud knock on
the door cut her off.
“Oh, what is this, Interrupt Buffy Night or what?”
she exclaimed as she marched up to the door, opening it with a hard tug at the
handle and saying: “Yes?”
“Hey, Buff!” Xander said with a strained smile,
as he was balancing a huge, flat package, which was leaning dangerously on
him.
Buffy stared at him and he asked:
“Can I come
IN?!”
“Sorry, yes! Let me help you with that!” she said, taking a step
forward and grabbing a firm hold of the packages edges, lifting it in through
the door.
“Well…” Xander said, somewhat painfully straightening out his
back and then stepping inside. “Thank you for the help. Slayer strength sure
does come in handy on all occasions, doesn’t it,” he added with a smile as Buffy
put the package down, leaning it against the hallway wall.
She nodded
slowly as an answer to his question as she started examining the exterior of the
rough cardboard box before her.
“Where did you get this? I mean, is it
for me?” she asked and Xander closed the door before answering.
“It says
‘Ms. Summers’ on the address tag… I just kind of assumed it was some furniture
or something that you had ordered,” Xander explained. “It was standing in the
drive way so I thought I’d show of my masculinity and carry it in for you. Of
course, you would think I should remember whom it is I’m breaking my back for;
you would probably have done a better job yourself.”
Buffy smiled
comfortingly at that, shaking her head a little, then sighing.
“Well,
they must’ve misprinted it or something because I haven’t ordered this and I
really haven’t got the money to just keep it anyway.”
Dawn, who had been
listening from the couch to the conversation, now grabbed the remote and zapped
the TV off before scrambling to her feet.
“But, maybe we could just take
a peak and see what it is, and then we could seal it again,” she suggested
hopefully, walking over to them.
Buffy looked at her, shaking her
head.
“No, I just can’t risk having to pay for it, Dawnie,” she answered
as Xander took a step passed her and tore something off the box.
“What
are you doing?!” Buffy exclaimed and Xander smiled.
“Calm down, Buff,
it’s an envelope addressed to YOU,” he answered and she looked at the small
white piece of paper in his hand.
Just then the kitchen door was opened
and then slammed shut.
Spike walked towards them, as nonchalant as
ever.
“What’s dead boy doing here?” Xander asked Buffy as Spike joined
them.
“What’s monkey boy doing here?” Spike retorted and Buffy
sighed.
“Spike…” she mumbled, not quite able to look at him.
He
smiled a smile she couldn’t see, then turned to Dawn who was looking from one to
the other with those pretty eyes of hers growing wider by the second. Then Dawn
sighed.
“You’ve had another fight, haven’t you?” she asked sadly and at
the tone in her voice Buffy turned to her.
“No, niblet,” Spike said
before Buffy had a chance to. “We were just sort of having a discussion before,
which we sort of cleared out… Didn’t we, Slayer?”
The way he dragged out
that last word, as if he could actually taste it and didn’t quite want to let go
of it, drove her crazy sometimes, this time being one of them, and she turned
back to him to say something quick in response. But he simply took one of her
hands in his and before she had a chance to react he brought it up to his lips,
giving her fingers a gentle kiss before releasing it. It dropped straight down
as he held her eyes in his one moment longer.
It was as though something
was about to be revealed to her, and then he looked away, turning to Dawn and
nodding a goodnight.
Then he simply walked up to the front door, opened
it and walked outside. The sound of the door closing echoed in Buffy’s head and
she realized she was still staring at the spot where his eyes had been two
moments earlier. She snapped out of it and turned to Xander, finding him eyeing
her closely and the questioning look on his face made her mad at
herself.
“What?” she asked and Xander hesitated a moment before
shrugging.
“Nothing,” he answered her, then made a gesture towards the
letter in his hand, indicating she should take it from him.
She sighed
and extended a hand, grabbing it out of his and ripping it open.
She drew
out a small note with an old-fashioned handwriting on it.
“Dear Miss
Summers, please accept this gift as a token of our deep appreciation of your
person. We shall be in touch. Truthfully yours.”
It wasn’t signed. She
turned it over. Nope, the blank whiteness of the paper was all that greeted her
and she furrowed her brow a little.
“This might be something…”
The
sound of ripping cardboard interrupted her this time and she swirled around just
as Dawn pulled the tape surrounding the front of the box, which was facing them,
off and threw it aside on the floor.
Buffy just stared at
her.
“Dawn, I really don’t think that’s such a good idea, what with your
sister announcing that whatever it is it will have to go back and all,” Xander
pointed out as Dawn took a steady hold on one of the corners of the box and
started the task of tearing it, piece by piece to bits.
“Well, that
was…before,” Dawn answered in between rips. “Before she knew it WAS for her, I
mean,” she added, attacking a seriously stubborn piece of
cardboard.
Buffy turned to Xander.
“Do you suppose it’s safe? I
mean…a dead thing in there as supposed to…an undead or something?” she asked him
and he nodded.
“The dead weight of that thing made me quite positive that
the thing inside is REALLY dead,” he confirmed and Dawn smiled widely, not
waiting for her sister to give her consent she kept on ripping.
“Fine,”
Buffy sighed, eyes back at Dawn. “Whatever. Do what you want. I don’t care. But
I’m warning you, if this turns out to be some kind of mistake YOU’LL have to
take an extra job to pay for it.”
Dawn just grinned at her, nodding as
she grabbed the last piece in her way. She tore it off, thick cellophane
wrapping turning out to be the next obstacle.
“Xander, why are you here
anyways?” Buffy asked, turning to the Scooby member a la Doo. “I mean, not that
I don’t always appreciate your…masculine company, but…well, it’s almost one
o’clock. At night,” she added; pictures of the not so successful attempt at a
wedding he had been through a few weeks earlier flashing before her eyes, making
her regret she had asked.
She should have known.
He shrugged a
little, sticking his hands deep down in his pockets.
“You know…the usual:
sleep deprivation, borderline depression and the oh, so fun
I-just-pushed-away-the-woman-I-love disorder…” he said, trying to mask his
feelings with a joke that simply didn’t hit the punch line right.
Buffy
didn’t know what to say so she just took a step forward and gave him a
hug.
“Well,” she said, taking a step back and smiling a, what she hoped
to be, encouraging smile. “You know you can ALWAYS stay here if the flat gets
too lonely… Or too crowded or too cold or, well, you get the
picture.”
Xander smiled a little, nodding gratefully.
“I know,” he
then said.
“Check it out!” Dawn gasped, cellophane now scattered around
her feet. “Isn’t it just the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?”
Buffy
took a step forward to better see the contents of the package, finding herself
staring into a pale, tired looking face of someone she knew, only there was a
spark in the pair of eyes accompanying that face which she hadn’t seen in a
while; in QUITE a while, in fact.
She stared at her reflection, stared
into her own eyes.
“A mirror…” she mumbled, rather confused. “A
mirror?”
“Maybe it’s a portal,” Xander said, taking a step back. “A
portal that a pair of demons have sent here so that they can come crashing into
your very living room when you least expect it!”
“Drop the drama act!”
Dawn cried, eyes rolling to the ceiling and hands raced in an
I-can’t-BELIEVE-you gesture. “Maybe a mirror, THIS mirror, for once, is just a
mirror,” she then said with a gleam in her eyes. “And it’s so pretty! Buffy,
please can I have it in my room? Please? I mean, you don’t really have room for
it in yours and…”
“We should put it in the basement until Will or Tara
can have a closer look at it,” Buffy interrupted gently, not able to suppress a
yawn. “Not to get too paranoid, but Xander might be right. We need to check the
books before we just put it up as decoration, Dawnie. Okay?”
Dawn sighed
deeply and mumbled something that sounded like a reluctant
agreement.
“Why can’t we just wake Willow up and…” she started but Buffy
just gave her a look that she knew all too well and she
stopped.
“Because,” Buffy said, “Will is sleeping. We can’t just go
barging in and wake her. Now, you go up to bed and Xander and I will take care
of this. Okay?”
Dawn grumbled and then moaned an “okay” before walking
slowly up the steps of the stairs.
Buffy turned to the mirror again. It
really was pretty. She touched the dark wooden frame, which was carved into a
beautifully crafted pattern.
Once more she held the eyes of her own
reflection for a moment.
Why would someone send this to me without
writing their name on the card if they weren’t up to something? she thought,
pondering the consequences of actually having it in the house.
“Ready?”
Xander asked and she drew her hand back, she hadn’t realized it had still been
resting on the frame of the mirror.
She decided quickly that if she had
to deal with a Big Bad here, she could, and if she didn’t then all was
well.
“The basement it is,” she said, nodding to Xander.