Part 1

Buffy meandered through the park, scuffing the soles of her shoes along the ground, and crunching dead leaves into dust. The November night was chilly, with a dazzling full moon and a sky full of stars putting on a light show.

She'd already been through her route, but demon activity was at an all time low tonight, and the stakes in her tote bag had not been used.

As she passed the playground, she was suddenly seized with a fit of childish nostalgia. Memories of other playgrounds washed over her, of long sunny afternoons with her mother and father, back when everything was still good between them and her future stretched out in front of her with a promise of endless love and happiness.

A tiny smile appeared on her lips as she stepped off the sidewalk and into the soft sand. She briefly considered removing her shoes and digging her toes into the cool grit, but decided against it. A slayer never knew when she might have to take off running in a big damn hurry.

Glancing around to make sure there were no witnesses, she dropped her bag and ran for the slide. She ignored the ladder and vaulted directly onto the slide itself. Landing with both feet, she ran up it. The heels of her shoes pounded into the metal, and the clamor they made echoed through the park.

When she reached the top, she turned and dropped down onto her bottom, then pushed off.

The ride was surprisingly short. "Seemed a lot longer when I was seven," she said, as her feet thudded into the hollow at the base of the slide.

Buffy spent the next fifteen minutes revisiting her childhood. She rode the slide again, climbed up and down the monkey bars, and walked an imaginary tightrope on the metal pipe that the rings dangled from.

Although she wasn't really thirsty, she stood at the drinking fountain and gulped cold water, enjoying it all the more without some kid prodding her to give someone else a turn.

Wiping the back of her hand across her mouth, she turned and headed for her very favorite playground activity of her youth....the swing set.

"Five swings...no waiting." She chose a swing and plopped her butt down on it.

This was a childhood dream come true. She could pick any swing, and she could stay on it for as long as she wanted to, without having to share or to get off just when she was really getting good altitude. There was no whiny little brat tattling on her to a cranky teacher, prompting a lecture on playground rules and selfish behavior.

"Mine, mine, all mine," she chanted, sticking out her tongue at an imaginary playmate.

She placed her feet firmly on the ground, and was about to push off when she realized that she had an audience.

Spike was standing on the other side of the playground, hands jammed into the front pockets of his jeans, watching her with an amused look on his face.

Blushing slightly, she waved to him. "Hi!"

"Hi yourself, Cutie," he said as he approached her. "You having fun?"

"You bet I am," she replied with a sassy smile. "Now stop staring and make yourself useful."

Knowing what she wanted him to do, he stepped behind her and took hold of both sides of the swing. Pulling her back, he said, "Hang on tight, little girl."

Buffy wrapped her fingers around the chains of the swing as Spike launched her with one hard push, sending her up so high that her fanny briefly lost contact with the seat.

She laughed at the butterfly sensation in her stomach as she descended. "Higher!" she demanded.

"Any higher and you're gonna go right over the top, luv." Spike placed his hands on her lower back and pushed gently.

"Oh, pooh," she scoffed as she went back up.

At the apex of the swings's arc, she let go of the chains and jumped, landing on her feet, about ten yards away from the swing set.

She turned to face him with a dazzling smile. "Can you come out and play?"

Buffy ran and Spike chased her all over the playground. Clattering up the slide again, she turned and saw him standing at the end of it. She sat down and pushed off, sliding down the cold metal and right into his arms.

"Gotcha!" he said softly in her ear as he pulled her firmly against him.

"Yeah?" She smiled at him flirtatiously. "What are you gonna do with me?"

His dark blue eyes flashed with heat. "Anything you'll let me get away with."

Before he could tighten his grip, she ducked out of his arms and took off running with him in hot pursuit.

She ran across the playground and into a grassy field, smiling and laughing, taunting him for his inability to catch her.

Buffy was having a grand time. It had been so long since she had run and played, and had fun..just for the sake of having it.

Four months had passed since her stand off with Glory, the stand off that had almost gotten her and everyone she loved killed. The whole horrible experience had refused to fade from her mind, replaying itself on an endless loop, until she had begun to think that she'd never get over it.

The love and attention she'd been given by her friends and sister had helped, but it was Spike who had really gotten her through it. Having suffered at Glory's hands himself, he was the one Buffy had poured her fears out to, the one in whose arms she had cried more than once.

Spike didn't give her any forced pep talks, telling her that it was all over now, and she'd be all right, she should forget about it, and get on with her life.

He had said none of those things. He'd only sat with her for hours on end, doing the one thing the others hadn't...listening to her, and not offering opinions as to what she should do next.

Her friends had been well meaning, and they cared, but they had been operating under the misguided theory that she didn't want to talk about it; not realizing that she needed to talk about it.

There was no twelve step program for recovery from "Near Death by Hell God" syndrome. All she could do was muddle through it as best as she was able.

But, at least she wasn't muddling through it alone.

TBC...