Buffy strode into the house, dropped her bag on the floor and headed for the bathroom. I really need to wash up before I deal with the gang, she thought. I reek of sex…really, really good sex, she grinned to herself. There’s no bringing myself off in the shower after sex with Spike, unlike someone I’m also dating.

"Buffy, is that you?" Giles called, breaking her reverie.

"Just a minute! Two café lattes was so too much on patrol," Buffy called.

Willow leaned over and whispered to Tara, "I thought she patrolled before she was with Spike." Tara shrugged, and cocked her head as Xander and Anya walked in sooner than anyone expected to see them for awhile.

Anya frowned as she stomped into the room. Everyone looked at her, and she began to explain. "We got outside and ran into Buffy. She went inside, which was good, because we wanted to copulate behind the hedge; however, Xander said something smelled like it had died back there recently and made me come back inside. He promised oral sex later, but I’m not sure that makes up for it."

Xander flushed a bright red and stammered out, "She left a part out. When we met Buffy outside, she was holding Spike’s hand." He grinned, happy to have taken the attention off his personal life.

Giles and Willow whipped their heads around to look at him, having cast their glances away when Anya told her story in such graphic terms. Anya simply shook her head at Xander and said, "He’s leaving out that Buffy used Spike’s hand to flip him onto the ground and kick him in the ribs. Xander’s so overly protective of that girl, I swear if I weren’t so experienced, I’d be jealous myself." She flopped down onto the couch and picked up her book from before, snuggling in with Xander and his book.

Willow and Tara giggled from the loveseat as Spike walked in at that moment. After glaring at them, he said, "Oh ha ha ha. The Slayer uses me as her bloody stress ball again and it’s all a barrel of frigging laughs." He sat in the oversized armchair in the corner since it was the only seat left, and picked up a book of cursed Asian artifacts from the Middle Ages.

"Considering you’ve tried to kill us all many times and you failed to kill Cordelia, I’d say we’re entitled to a few post-operation chuckles at your expense," Xander replied.

"Oh, come on, guys. Don’t you ever stop, Ozzie and Harriet?" Buffy complained, strolling to the kitchen and grabbing a diet soda from the fridge. Peeking in the cabinets, she found a bag of lollipops she’d left there and snatched one, popping it into her mouth.

"Nope, as long as Spikey is a vampiric eunich, well I feel the need to push his buttons. And yes, I do enjoy seeing him set off his collar and fry in pain."

Buffy rolled her eyes and walked into the living room, grabbing one of the books on the counter. "Okay, what big bad has the Codex prophesied now? Or is this a hot tip from Willy? And more importantly, where am I going to sit?" she whined, looking around. Every surface was filled with lounging people and books, and she frowned again.

"Willy. He heard something about Asian demons who shift shapes. And eat young women in their human forms. And I imagine you could sit on the floor," he replied absently, finding another book to flip through.

Stomping her foot petulantly, Buffy gave Giles an evil glare, then poked Spike in the shoulder. "Let me sit there."

"The hell I will. You’re perfectly capable of sitting your pouty arse on the floor, Slayer." Stifling a chuckle at the face she made, he went back to reading.

"We could just chain him to the bathtub again," Xander volunteered hopefully.

Buffy choked on her sip of soda, and spit her lollipop across the room. Her face flushed pink as she remembered doing that very thing with Spike since her mom was out of town for a month. The public reminder was not the way she would have chosen to remember it.

Spike smelled her flare of arousal mixed with embarrassment, and he held back a guffaw that threatened to escape the more he watched her squirm. Smirking, he looked her in the eye as he chastised Xander. "Now, now Harris. No need to be rude; I am awfully helpful to the Slayer when she needs a good release." A smile started to break free as Buffy turned a deeper shade of red, and he brought the book up in front of his face to cover it. When he regained his composure, he turned to Buffy again. "You can sit here, ducks, " he said while patting his thigh. He scooted his butt in one corner and sat diagonally, making room for her.

Buffy opened her mouth to protest, then shut it, weighing the advisability of the offer. He was being very daring by getting so close to her with the gang around. And it seemed like maybe he wasn’t afraid for everyone to find out. Maybe he is starting to care about me…I always wished someone would look at me like he used to look at Dru.

Before she could respond, Willow piped up, "Yeah. You did on the way to LA on the van trip to see the shaman; you know when we saw Angel and Cordelia on Rodeo Drive fighting a Shoppur demon? It wasn’t so bad, was it?"

For the second time in two minutes, Spike almost cried from holding back his laughter. "S’right, luv. It wasn’t bad at all; I didn’t even bite. Although it did take me a few days to get the smell of Slayer off me," he said, winking at her devilishly.

Alright, that’s it! He’s asking for it now, she thought. She sat down on his lap, placing her coke next to his blood like they did almost every night in her dorm now. Plopping onto his lap, she wiggled her hips until she felt him harden underneath her, pretending she was getting comfy. "Mmm, perfect. You make such a good piece of furniture, Spike," she cooed, opening her book and batting her eyelashes at him.

Giles raised his eyebrows, noticing Spike’s eyes turn yellow and the ridges appear quickly, then fade as Buffy started running her fingers through her hair absently. His face grew almost tender, and he turned back to his book when he sensed Giles watching him. Interesting, Giles thought. I never noticed she had that much effect on Spike before. I wonder what is going on with them? Shaking his head, he delved back into another Watcher’s Diary hoping to find a mention of their demon.

Buffy smiled contentedly, curling into the familiar position by kicking her sandals off, and winding her legs over Spike’s. Her head fell back against one of his shoulders and she burrowed deeper into his lap while reading. His arm had automatically snaked around her waist and his thumb was idly toying with her bellybutton as he read the book he’d propped on the Slayer’s legs. Both had a relaxed smile on their face as they concentrated on research. Neither one even noticed that they weren’t as inconspicuous in the dark corner as they’d thought.

Willow peeked up from her book, her eyes widening as she noted the familiarity with which Spike was touching Buffy. She winced, thinking Buffy would leap up and kick Spike’s ass at any second. However, both of them seemed content to snuggle close and read in the intimate position. Hmm..maybe Xander was on to something. She nudged Tara, and the blond witch took the sight in slowly, her eyes widening only a little.

Tara smiled a tiny bit and used telepathy to speak to Willow through their minds. ‘Wow. I kinda had a feeling there was something growing there, but I kept getting proved wrong. Do you think we can slip into Giles’ supplies and go outside to check to make sure no magicks are involved?’

‘Yeah. Giles will think we’re going outside to make out in the bushes…Oh Goddess, that’s where… We need to go now.’ She cut her gaze to Buffy and Spike, remembering where Anya said she’d found them. And Xander had said it smelled funny behind the hedges…maybe a Slayer and vampire smelled different when they… She sucked in a deep breath and cast her gaze over to the couple in question. Spike was busy nuzzling Buffy’s ear while whispering something no one but them could hear. Willow watched Buffy get the look on her face that Willow had once associated with only Angel. It was time for action. She and Tara got up quietly to find the ingredients they needed to peek inside Buffy and Spike's minds.

Giles shook his head as he watched them go. Don’t any of them have the sense not to go fornicate behind my hedges? Oh Dear GOD! he thought. He dropped his book on the floor, his thoughts following Willow’s. I must find a spell to find out what’s going on…He ran to find supplies and was surprised to find Willow and Tara already rummaging through his trunks. "Ahem. What on Earth are you doing?"

"Looking for a talisman of Aphrodite and some frog toes… oh. Hi, Giles," Willow mumbled when she realized who it was looking over her shoulder.

"Are you two here to figure out what’s going on in there?" he whispered.

"You noticed?" Willow asked, pointing at another for trunk for Tara to search through.

Giles nodded gravely, walking to his locked spell book cabinet and pulling out the necessary volumes. "Yes. It seems that for once, Xander may have, well, been right about something."

"Whoa! Liking the praise from the old guy. So what baddie has stolen all reason from out beloved Buffster?" Xander asked, pulling Anya in tow.

"I don’t know. But while Willow, Tara, Anya, and I attempt to contact some supernatural sources, it’d be best if you, sort of, distract them from our absence," Giles replied, looking at Tara’s pile of supplies and nodding.

"Um, the way it’s going in there… I doubt I’ll be necessary. How bout I just stand watch here by the door?" Xander said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

Anya stomped her foot loudly. "Hello? Am I here? I’ve poking you in the shoulder for several minutes Xander." She glared at him, then looked at the group. "Are you all blind? Spike is not exactly hard on the eyes, demon or not. In fact, even the girls club over there will tell you two paranoid, jealous overprotective men that Spike is devastatingly hot. So Buffy had a bad vampire experience in the past. Angel is a very different demon than Spike. Did you ever consider there might not be any outside forces at work besides hormones? I’m sure some Joe Normal guy like Riley doesn’t ‘do it’ for a Slayer, especially after losing her virginity to Angel. It’s hard for any woman to find happiness; I bet it’s harder when you have to save the world once a week. Anyone consider that?"

They all took a moment to think about what the wise ex-demon had said. Giles made a pained face and spoke, "Perhaps then, Anya, I should send you after a back up plan. Give this note to Willy, take the bag he gives you and bring it back." He scribbled the note and gave her some money, sending her on her way.

As soon as she left the apartment, Anya unfolded the note and scanned it quickly. "Scotch? What spell requires a liter of scotch?" she pondered in confusion.

Meanwhile, Buffy was busily distracting Spike on her own by running her tongue over his earlobe as he read, her hand massaging one of his thighs absently. Growling under his breath, Spike turned to Buffy and ground into her ear, "If I were you, pet, I’d be wary of playing with fire. The Witches and the Watcher are already looking at us suspiciously. And if you don’t quit doing that, they’re going to be getting a free show on the table over there."

"What if I don’t care?" Buffy asked, almost holding her breath in anxiety. "What if I don’t want to hide anymore?"

Spike’s eyes widened. The implications of that whirled through his head madly. Was she crazy? They’d stake me for sure, especially Soldier Boy. But it must mean she feels something for me…maybe I’m not just a replacement for Angel again. Do I want to take the chance with her? What do I feel for Buffy? What do I say? Spike finally settled on being cautious, for her sake. "Um, luv, I don’t know if that’s really a good idea…"

Buffy struggled to keep herself from physically recoiling form his rejection. "Fine then," she said, jumping up out of his lap like she had been stung. "I don’t care whether you’re ashamed of me or not." She stalked out the house, breaking into a run at the corner, hoping to outrun the pain of being rejected by another vampire. Tears pricked her eyes as she sprinted harder. How he could he be so caring when we’re alone and not feel anything for me? Angelus’ words came back to her ‘Really, I thought you were a pro…I mean, you can’t think it meant anything, right?’ and she choked back a sob. Her feet started moving in an all too familiar direction of their own volition.

Spike watched her retreat down the street, trying to decide whether he should go after her or not. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew where she would end up. Raking his hand through his hair in frustration, he got up and strode out the door, starting to sprint at the end of the walkway. If I don’t find her and she gets hurt, it’ll be the end of me. And if she were hurt because of me, I’d hand Harris the bloody stake myself. Another thought struck him and he shivered to the core. I’m turning into my poncy Sire…the Slayer’s lapdog and proud to be it.

********************************************************

Buffy unlocked the door of Angel’s apartment clumsily and threw herself on the satin comforter. Since he’d moved to LA , he’d given her the keys in case she needed to hide out. She’d never told anyone, but she went there all the time to feel close to the only person who’d understood her completely. When she sat on Angel’s bed, she felt all her troubles at home, school, with the gang or Riley disappear. No one knew Angel had signed it over to her… it was solely hers.

Hot tears streaked her makeup as she remembered the last time she’d sprinted here, 2 years ago, scared and wet and thankful to be alive. Why do I have such bad taste in mates? I can’t even be with a human…demons are the closest things to my equal, ironically enough. I was put on this planet to kill them, not date them. Am I destined to be alone forever because I’m the Slayer? Or am I just that bad in bed? And why was Spike so tender and gentle with me if I’m just another diversion till he gets his chip out or his ‘Princess’ back? Angel, you have no idea how much damage you caused by letting me fall in love with you…

Sniffling, she changed out her clothes and slid into one the silk shirts that always managed to smell like Angel regardless of how many times she wore them. And for a brief moment, she wished herself back to a time before Angelus; the nostalgia only lasted for a second, though, as Spike’s devilish smirk filled her mind. No, she wouldn’t trade anything she had now for what had been. If only Spike could love her, it would be perfect. Well, not perfect but as perfect as life can be if you’re the Slayer and her vampire lover living on the Hellmouth, she thought wryly. She sighed heavily and curled around a large pillow, her tears falling until her body finally gave in to its exhaustion, still murmuring Angel’s name through her tears.

When Spike arrived at the apartment, he almost burst in right in. But a sudden thought stopped him, and he cautiously sauntered towards the door of the apartment. He knew he could walk right into the Slayer’s ‘secret lair’ as he had taken to referring to it when he followed her there after patrol a few months back. It belonged to Angel, which meant he needed no invitation, but he had no idea whether there were any nasty wards put up by the Witches to protect the Slayer. He hesitated, then decided to gamble hoping the odds were that he was right: Buffy had never told anyone that she went here. He opened the door, which was unlocked, and crept in to find Buffy sleeping, clutching tear stained satin pillow.

For a moment, Spike breathed a sigh of relief that she was neither hurt nor did he burst into flame for coming in. He stood on the threshold, watching her silently. Buffy was curled up on the bed, clutching a pillow tightly, tear tracks on her cheeks, and Spike felt his heart constrict painfully. Cor, I didn’t mean to hurt her; I only wanted to protect her from the reactions of her friends… And Peaches, he’d shit if he even knew I was in his apartment, not to mention in his Slayer on a daily basis. Her last vampire boyfriend had killed her Watcher’s girlfriend, which was bad form even for the great prick, and Spike did not doubt that had colored the gang’s perception of demons as dating material. Not that it wasn’t okay for the Witch to date witches and werewolves or the whelp to date demon girl. It seemed only Buffy was banned from finding a true match wherever it may be. And that angered Spike. He paced back and forth, growling as he lit a fag. It’s not fair. The girl saves the world once a week and she’s the only person in it not allowed to find happiness. Wait…am I saying I’m her happiness? Maybe I’m just a substitute for Peaches since she’s gotten the taste for cold men. Could I make her happy? Do I want to try?

Then his anger grew. What the bloody hell was she thinking, running away to this place, Angel’s place, laying about (with the poof’s sodding shirt on, no less) with the door unlocked and a free invite to whomever wanted it? She could have been killed! Spike paced the room like a caged tiger, his mind racing. He alternated between vowing to kill her himself, and being fervently thankful she was unharmed. When he realized Buffy was really out for the count, he sighed and stretched out on the leather couch. At least the great nonce has good taste, he thought as he fell asleep.

***************************************************

Buffy peeked one eye open and watched Spike pace, mouthing his thoughts as they ran through his head like he was speaking to someone. He’s definitely off his rocker, she thought.

‘But you love him B.’

Buffy almost gasped when she heard Faith’s voice in her head. ‘Is this my bad side talking, or is it really you, Faith?’ she replied in her mind.

‘It’s me, B. I don’t know how, but all the sudden I felt my mind open and I could see this, like slide shoe of you and Blondie having some, let me tell you, hot sex… And chains B? Never knew ya had it in ya…You lose your virginity to Angelus, the Scourge of Europe, and now you’re playing Suzy Homemaker with William the Bloody. When you break the rules, B, you really break ‘em. Anyway, I could see everything that happened up till right now, where he’s pacing back in forth in Angel’s apartment…which he would have shit fit with a capital ‘S’ about, girl. And not only could I see what happened… I could feel your feelings about what happened. You love him, B, and you’re fighting it. Don’t give up because you failed in the past; look at how bad I screwed up when I did.’

‘Faith, I have no idea how this has happened, but um, can you not tell Angel this story? Like ever? I don’t know if it’s spell, or what…but I appreciate you trying to help. Maybe we’ll come and visit you sometime.’ She thought smiling to herself.

‘Hey, ‘we’ means you’re giving it a chance. Which is good, B. You deserve something good. From what I saw, he’s five by five when he wiggles that sexy ass. And remember, he’s a demon, but he’s also a man. They’re dumb, and they say things they don’t mean. Cut him some slack…have sense of humor.’

‘Okay, okay. But get outta my head now because I’m sure in a short while I’ll be broadcasting pay-per-view, if you know what I mean…’ she almost grinned.

‘Later, B. Maybe I’ll see ya around sometime.’

And like someone had snapped their fingers, Buffy felt Faith recede from her mind. A small grin crept to her face as she shut her one open eye as Spike came closer to the bed. She felt his intent gaze on her, burning into her flesh, then it was gone. Her eye opened again to see him sighing and settling onto the couch for the night.

When she was sure he was asleep, she stripped off Angel’s shirt and clambered onto the wide couch, curling her small body up to Spike’s hard frame and drifted off. And for the first time since Angel had taken her virginity, Buffy Summers felt complete and total happiness.

Continued......