Circuitous Reasoning
The Burn Away Series 4
Written by: PerleTwo
Author's Website
Summary: Buffy isn't the only one being pushed to the edge by Angelus' obsession. S2, set
during Passion. Sequel to REMEDIAL READING
Disclaimer: The show Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of it's characters belong to Joss,
Mutant Enemy, & Fox Prod.
Feedback: perletwo@yahoo.com
Damn Angel.
Damn Dru.
He's upstairs with her, in our bed, right
now. Doing things I can't help but hear. Can't stop myself hearing.
Things she loves. Things I won't do to her. At least not the way he
does.
Because he doesn't love her. He loves the Slayer.
And I
won't. Because I do. Love Dru.
I don't love the Slayer. Angel does.
Dru only feels right and good and happy when she's being fucked and
tortured by her 'Daddy.' Who doesn't love her.
And I only feel right,
and good, and happy, when I'm fucking and teaching fucking to the Slayer. Whom I
don't love.
And unless I miss my guess, the Slayer only feels right, and
good, and happy, when she's fucking and learning to fuck with me. Whom she
doesn't love.
Because she loves Angel.
Who only feels right, and
good, and happy, when he sees the whole boiling of us in pain of his
causing.
Damn Angel.
Damn
Dru.
* * *
He
thinks it's funny when she hurts.
Dru. Not the Slayer.
He only
wants the Slayer to hurt so he can break her to him. He's already broken Dru,
she's of no interest anymore. The Slayer's his drama now. Dru's the comic
relief.
He thinks her visions are funny. Doesn't care that they hurt. She
recovers quickly 'cause she's a vamp. I know if this was how she 'ad visions
when she was human, they must've knocked 'er down for hours.
He thinks
'cause she recovers so quickly it doesn't matter, the little bit they still
hurt.
But after a century of lovin' 'er to strengthen the sire/childe
bond, I feel every iota of pain they cause right along with her. Be a right
laugh for 'im if he knew.
He should know. He's her sire. She's his
childe. He should feel it through their bond just like I do. If he loved her at
all he'd feel it too.
Damn Angel for not loving her.
Damn Dru for
loving him
anyway.
* * *
They've
gone out to attend to this vision of Dru's. Angel seems to know what it means.
Bully for him. Meanwhile, they've left me alone...with the dog.
Sunshine.
Who I'd really rather not eat. I rather like dogs. A cat, now,
that's another story. Cat'll as soon slice you open as look at you no matter
what you do f'r it. Dog, you don't actually kick it in the ribs an' it'll look
at you like you're the Second Coming. Fact, some of 'em'll look at you like that
even if you do kick 'em in the ribs.
Rather like Dru.
An' I'd
rather not eat a dog that looks at me like that. Just like I'd rather not hurt
Dru, even though she wants me to.
Sunshine. If you're not on the menu,
what *am* I going to do with you?
I pick it up and hold it by the scruff
of the neck. No danglin' bits an' pieces, so I guess Sunshine's a bitch.
Appropriate.
She's got a collar, with tags. Owner's name was Wheedon. An'
he named Sunshine...
Damn.
Bitch's name is Buffy.
I take
the collar off her.
"Trust me, pet. There's people here you don't ever
want findin' out your real name," I tell her, an' those big liquid brown eyes
fix on my face as soon as she hears my voice. "It'll be our li'l secret.
Right?"
Right.
We're big with the secrets, Buffy an'
I.
* * *
"You
free to talk, pet?"
"No." I can hear her breathing heavy and fast
footfalls; I think she's running. "I'm on my way to class, where I'm due in less
than a minute. And since I'm bound to fall asleep on my desk, I'd just as soon
not piss the teacher off in advance by being late first, okay?"
"Long
night? Spend any of it thinkin' of me?" The dog's nuzzling me along the jaw and
chin, and the warmth reminds me of how the Slayer touched me the night I spent
with her in that hotel room.
"Nooo...I spent it thinking about Angel.
Who's been in my room while I slept, and in my best friend's room, where he
killed her fish and left the little corpses for her to find. My friend and I sat
up all night with a crossbow at the ready. I've had more erotic experiences
waiting to have a root canal."
"Sounds kinky." I'm distracted, trying to
figure out what Angel's up to. "I told you before, pet, he's tryin' to do you
like he did Dru. Break you down. You gotta rest, take care of yourself, don't
let him run you down or he'll find a chink in your armor an' get in. I can
help...takin' care of you."
"Spike? Right now, I don't even know why
you'd care. And given how Angel's expressing his 'great love' for me, I'd really
rather you didn't." I can hear a bell clanging in the background. "Hanging up
now."
Damn Angel.
Damn
Dru.
* * *
I
should be worrying about Drusilla right now. She's out there with Angel, doing
God knows what to God knows whom.
I shouldn't be sitting here replaying
every intimate moment I've ever had with the Slayer in my head. Shouldn't be
going over every touch, every sound, every scent until I'm so hard I think I'll
explode just from remembering.
I shouldn't be picturing that wide-open,
amazed look she gets on her face when I introduce her to some new pleasure she's
never experienced before. I shouldn't be remembering how proud that look makes
me feel, at the thought that *I'm* the one that made her look like that.
I certainly shouldn't be thinking of how good it feels to make love to a
woman who's intelligent and self-aware enough to understand all the levels of
meaning the act has in a way Dru can't. Who can connect with me on those levels
where Dru can't.
The way Angel connects with her on a level I
can't.
He's taking both of them away from me.
I can't let that
happen.
* * *
"Pet?"
"I
can't talk."
Her voice is hollow and it sends a chill through
me.
"Buffy?"
"Angel just killed one of my teachers. My Watcher's
lover." Her breath hitches on an indrawn breath. "A friend of mine."
Oh.
No.
And if I know Angel, he'll have made a little tableau of the murder,
to twist the knife a little more. The artistry of the kill, he used to call it.
"Don't call me like this again,
Spike."
* * *
Damn
Angel.
This has to stop.
I have to stop it. Stop him.
For
all our sakes.
Continued...
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