One Good Lay: Sweetest Revenge by Cariann

Sweetest Revenge
Parts 9-15

Written by: Cariann

Summary: Spike takes Angelus up on his advice that in order to kill the Slayer, you gotta love her. But things don't go as planned.
Disclaimer: The show Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of it's characters belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, & Fox Prod.
Feedback: lostangel52577@yahoo.com

Part Nine

Buffy sighs in her sleep, and snuggles closer to the cold body next to her. Spike groans as she wiggles against him.

"Stop moving pet," he sleepily orders holding her tighter against him.

Buffy's eyes shoot open at the recognition of Spike's distinctive accent. **Why am I in bed with Spike?** Buffy, through a sleepy haze, tries to remember what happened. The night quickly comes back to her. The attack, the kiss, his arms around her, and the confused feelings all flood back to Buffy.

She carefully rolls over to face Spike. He's laying on his side, one arm draped over her, and his eyes are closed.

"Spike," Buffy whispers.

Spike doesn't open his eyes, but mumbles, "What, luv?"

"Are you okay?" she asks worried glancing down at his bandaged chest.

Spike groans, and opens his eyes. She is leaning on her side, their chests barely touching. He gazes at her concerned face, and his heart melts. He stares at her wide eyes, looking up at him. She is looking at him not as a demon, but as someone she cares about. Spike lifts his hand, and rests his palm on her cheek. "Better than last night, you?"

"I'm good," she breathlessly replies.

Spike continues to gaze at her, and to gently stroke her cheek with his thumb. Buffy buckles under his stare, and rolls back over. Spike sighs, and lays on his back staring at the ceiling. **What are you doing you bloody idiot. Don't care about the slayer. The plan. The plan. The plan. Brilliant plan. Don't lose sight of the plan.**

When Spike doesn't move, Buffy rolls back over. She sees him thinking, and asks, "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing important," he answers, and looks at her.

"Everything is going to be all right," she assures him noting the worry on his face. She knows she is trying to convince herself more than him.

Spike doesn't respond, and turns his head to look at the wall. Buffy sits up, and says, "I have to go to class. You can stay here today. I'll be back later with some blood, and I'll see if I can find your clothes, okay?"

"Thanks," he weakly offers refusing to look at her.

Buffy waits, staring at him. When she realizes Spike isn't going to say anymore, she grabs her bag, and heads for the bathroom.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy, and Willow are sitting outside at a table eating lunch.

"So, Spike is our new roomie?"

"I don't know. I don't know what to do with him," Buffy says frustrated.

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"Stake him, make him leave, anything but what is happening."

"What's happening?" Willow asks.

"I don't know. I like him. I mean not like him like him," Buffy lies, "but I like being around him. He makes me mad, but at the same time he makes me laugh. It feels so nice to have a patrol buddy again. I mean, not that you guys don't help, and I like patrolling with you guys,but with Spike it's like…." Buffy's voice trails off.

"It's like with Angel," Willow finishes for her.

"Yeah. He can fight, and he's strong, and I'm not saying he's like Angel, but it's comforting to have someone protect me, watch out for me."

"I know. Lately, it seems like it was a good thing that Spike came along."

"Tell me about it. I don't know why, but I seem to be getting into some pretty sticky situations. I usually can handle it, but lately I'm getting caught off guard. It must be because of school, and all this newness. It's like when I first started slaying."

"You'll be on your game soon. It's just an adjustment period."

"I hope you're right, because I don't need anymore near death experiences," Buffy stops, and then asks Willow, "Would you mind if Spike stayed for a while, because it's not really safe for him to be out alone with the whole vamp community out for his blood."

"If you want him to, it's okay with me."

"Thanks Will."

Riley walks up behind them, and says, "Hi ladies, mind if I join you?"

Willow points to a chair near Buffy, and cheerily says, "Go ahead."

"Thanks."

Riley takes the seat closest to Buffy, and asks,

"How are you doing Buffy?"

"Good, you?"

"Great, it's a nice day," he says.

Buffy nods, not really paying attention. Her mind unconsciously drifts to Spike. She can hear Willow, and Riley talking, but isn't listening. **Spike. He's in my bed right now, sleeping. Spike. Why am I thinking about him? Stop it now Buffy. Nothing is going on. He was just happy you saved him. That's why he kissed you, and held you all night long. Oh God, why was it the best feeling I've ever had?** Buffy knows she is lying to herself when she says nothing is going on. She can feel it. **When I look at him, I don't feel the same. I don't want to hit him, stake him, make him go away. I don't hate him. When I look at him, I feel warm. When I look at him I forget everything else, but him.**

"Buffy," Willow interrupts her thoughts

"Present," Buffy answers snapping out of her thoughts.

"Riley was just asking you how you like class so far?" Willow prompts her.

Willow knows where her mind was, and it disturbs her. She can except Spike helping Buffy. She can even except him staying with them, but she's unsure of the growing closeness of the two, and how much he occupies her mind. She knows something happened last night. She could feel the tension, and see their nervousness.

"It's great, very interesting stuff," Buffy answers rejoining the conversation.

"Yeah, and it only gets better," Riley answers.

"Goodie, even more psycho fun," sarcastically replies.

Riley looks at her puzzled, but continues, "So what are girls up to today?"

Willow answers, "I have another class, and then Wicca group."

"Buffy?" Riley asks turning to her.

"Nothing. I was just going to run some errands, and then study."

"Sounds like a night full of fun," Riley stops before nervously continuing. "There's a party at my house tonight. If you guys have time later, you should drop by. I promise it'll be fun."

"I don't know," Buffy starts, but Willow interrupts.

"It does sound like fun. Too much studying, and not enough fun lately."

"Stop by," Riley encourages.

"I think we will," Willow answers giving Buffy a meaningful look.

"Sure, why not? Studying can wait," Buffy mumbles.

"Great," Riley says and stands up. "I'll see you tonight then."

Riley walks away, and Buffy turns to Willow.

"What are you doing?" she hisses. "I want to have fun. I'm tired of moping about Oz, and you need some fun too after having been occupied with heavy slaying lately."

Buffy realizes Willow has a point, and shrugs, "Okay, tonight we party."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy slowly opens the door of the crypt. She peers inside. Images of the previous night flash across her mind as she surveys the scene before her. In the light of the day, the crypt isn't as frightening, but Buffy can still see what is left of the vampires from last night.

Three piles of dust lay on the floor. Buffy walks into the crypt, and over to where Spike was chained up. She kneels down to pick up a knife. She turns it over in her hand, shuddering at the sight of Spike's blood on the blade. She tosses the knife away, and is overcome with a sick feeling. A pain that emanates from her chest, and she doesn't understand why.

Buffy stands back up. She turns around, and her eyes fall on a piece of clothing. She walks over to it, and picks up Spike's black shirt. The shirt is sliced right down the front, and spattered with blood. She tosses it aside, and picks up his duster. She inspects it, and is relieved when she finds it in one piece, and free of blood. **He must have taken it off before they attacked. How could this happen to him? How could those vampires over take William the Bloody? He must have been asleep. They could never take him any other way. God, why Spike? Why does Spike have to make me feel this way? Why do I have to care?**

Buffy takes one last glance around the crypt before leaving. She slowly walks towards the butcher shop trying to sort out her feelings. By the end of her errands, she is more confused then ever. Somewhere in the back of her head, a voice is telling her she is falling for Spike, but Buffy refuses to acknowledge it.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Spike tosses, and turns in Buffy's bed. He can't sleep. Thoughts of the slayer invade his mind. He glances at the window, and notes that the sun is still shining brightly behind the closed curtains. He jumps out of the bed, and starts pacing. He is still shirtless, and barefoot. He walks over to the stereo, and flips through the cd's. "Bloody hell, the slayer has no taste in music," he mutters to himself.

He finally flips on the radio, and tunes it in to a classic rock station. He resumes his pacing, as he listens to an old Rolling Stones song. He thinks about the slayer as he walks back and forth across her room. **The plan is perfect, so bloody perfect. Everything is falling into place, so why am I having doubts? Angelus wouldn't back down. Angelus didn't care about anything except pain. Bloody hell, when am I going to stop comparing my self to that wanker? He did once say that to kill this girl, you have to love her. You have to love her. You have to love her.**

Spike throws himself face down on the bed. **It's not true. It'll never be true. I can't, won't love her, ever. She's the reason I'm miserable. She's the reason Dru left me. She's the reason my life has been nothing but pathetic since I met her. To love her would be her greatest victory.**

Spike jumps up, and starts pacing again. He ignores the voice in the back of his head telling him she's already won.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Part Ten

Later that day, Willow returns to her room, and finds Spike nervously pacing.

"Hi, Spike," she timidly says.

Spike nods in recognition, and continues pacing.

"You're going to wear a whole in the carpet. What's wrong?"

Willow sits on her bed, and faces the vampire who is a pent up ball of nervous energy. Spike stops pacing, and stares at Willow.

"Nothing, just anxious, bored. You know, the usual," Spike answers with a shrug, and resumes his pacing.

"Well, sit down. You're making me tired."

Spike sits down on Buffy's bed surprised by Willow's bluntness.

"Something bugging you, Red?"

"No," Willow sighs, "not really. It's just Oz left me."

Willow starts to cry. Spike looks at the sobbing girl, and sighs. He moves across the room to sit next to her. Spike puts his arm around her as she cries.

Willow lays her head on his chest, and continues, "No one seems to understand, or care. They all have their own problems, and I act like everything okay now, but they're not. I miss him so much."

Spike pulls her closer to him. He feels for the cute red head. He knows how it feels to be left by the one you love. "It'll be okay. It hurts like hell, believe me I know, but eventually it'll be okay."

Willow sniffles, and pulls away from Spike with a small grin. "I can't believe I'm crying on your shoulder."

"Well, actually it was my chest."

"Are you over Dru?" Willow asks.

Spike looks away from Willow. He gets up, and starts pacing again. "Yes, and no. I love her with my entire soul."

Willow interrupts, "You don't have a soul."

Spike stops, and glares at her. He continues, "You know what I mean."

"Sorry," Willow quietly answers trying to hide her grin.

"Anyway, I want her back, you know, but part of me knows that she won't be back, and even if she did come back it wouldn't be the same. The sad thing about life, or unlife in my case, is that nothing lasts forever. I smile when I think of the good times. I get angry when I think of the bad times, and I cry when I admit it's over. But as it will, my life, or unlife have you, goes on, and so will yours. I don't ever regret loving Dru, and if I had the choice to do it again knowing the outcome, I would in a heart beat. I figure I might as well look at it as a chapter in my life. The best chapter, mind you, but not the last one. You should try it. This Oz chap was a moment in your life. A great moment that you'll never forget, but the moments over, so time to move on. There are still things to live for, and adventures to be had."

Willow smiles at him, "How is it that no one else could make me feel this bad, and yet still make me feel better."

"I'm special, Red," Spike says with a cocky grin.

"What do you still live for?" Willow quietly asks.

Spike looks away, and fumbles for an answer. He can't tell her that the only reason he has survived the last months was with thoughts of torturing the slayer, and her soul having freak of a boyfriend, who just happens to be his sire.

"It's okay, you don't have to answer," Willow says noticing his pain.

**The slayer. I live for the slayer.** "I really don't know," he lies.

Spike sits back down next to Willow. "So tell me, is the slayer going to let me stay here, because I'm so bloody tired of sleeping on dirty floors."

"She says you can stay. She's worried about you getting attacked again."

Spike smiles, and asks, "She worries about me?"

Willow blushes. "I shouldn't have said that," she mumbles looking away.

"What else does she say about me," Spike inquires.

"You make her mad," Willow mumbles.

"The feelings mutual. Anything else?" Spike presses.

"No, not really," Willow lies turning away from Spike's questioning gaze.

"You're lying. Spill it, Red."

Willow shakes her head furiously. Spike starts to tickle her. Willow giggles, and tries to pull away, but Spike pins her underneath him.

"Tell me," Spike playfully orders.

"Never," Willow yells through her laughter.

Buffy walks in the room to a sight that ranks up with the most disturbing things she's ever seen, and she's seen a lot of freaky things on the hell mouth. Spike has Willow pinned to the bed. She's laughing, and gripping his bare shoulders. Where Spike's hands are, Buffy can't tell, but the sight makes her feel nauseous. Buffy slams the door, and the two combatants jump up.

"Am I interrupting something?" Buffy angrily asks.

"No, nothing. We were just talking," Willow answers blushing deeply.

"Talking? Horizontally on the bed?" Buffy questions, hurt, and anger seeping into her tone.

"We weren't horizontal slayer," Spike argues.

"Fine what ever kinky position you had her in," Buffy furiously yells. Jealousy burns through her body, and she doesn't like it. **Why do I care that Spike, and Willow were messing around? Because last night it was you, and you fell for it.** Her emotions get the best of her, and Buffy turns to leave. She's infuriated at herself for caring, and at Spike for doing it, and making her feel this way. Lastly, she was angry that Willow let him.

Spike sees her leaving, and runs over to her. He lightly grips her shoulder, and pleads, "Slayer, nothing was going on. I was trying to get her to talk. Don't leave."

"Buffy, we were just being silly," Willow adds ashamed of her actions.

Buffy turns around slowly. Avoiding Spike's eyes, so he can't see the hurt, confusion, jealousy, and tears brimming, Buffy answers, "Sorry for wigging. I was just shocked."

"Buffy, Spike was just trying to make me feel better about Oz. We were talking, and then we just got silly. It was nice to laugh for a change," Willow explains.

"I'm sorry Will. I overreacted," Buffy apologizes. She's glad that Willow is feeling better, and relieved that nothing was going on between them. **Why do I care? Because you want Spike for yourself.**

Spike is still staring at Buffy's lowered head. Willow, noticing the tension between the two, stammers, "I'm going to go do that thing I have. I'll see you later, Buffy."

Willow walks past Buffy, and leaves. Buffy ignores Spike, and starts digging through her closet.

Spike walks up behind her. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he gently asks, "What's wrong, pet?"

Buffy's skin tingles under his touch. "Nothing. I overreacted. I thought you and Willow were getting friendly."

"Would that bother you?" he calmly asks.

Buffy spins around, and angrily faces him. "Of course it would bother me," Buffy yells.

"Why, are you jealous?" Spike asks.

"Jealous?" Buffy asks enraged by his arrogance, and also because he hit the real reason. "Of course not, but I won't have you honing in on my friends while they are vulnerable. I know you. I know you know how to make people feel things, bad things. You know exactly how to get to a person."

"That's actually a compliment."

"I didn't mean it that way," Buffy replies as she turns back to the closet searching for an outfit to wear to the party.

Spike doesn't say anymore, and just watches her as she pulls out different clothes, her words echoing through his mind. **You know how to make people feel things, bad things. You know exactly how to get to a person. Is she talking about herself?**

Buffy finally pulls out a pair of black leather pants, and a silk backless top. "I like that one," Spike replies.

"What?" Buffy asks. She is trying to forget he is still in the room, and trying to ignore all the emotions he evokes in her.

"I like that number better than the others, but why are you getting all dolled up for patrolling?"

"I'm not patrolling tonight. I'm going to a party with Willow," Buffy answers putting the clothes back in the closet.

"A party?" Spike repeats with anger, and hurt.

"Yup, a no vampire, no slaying, fun party," Buffy answers refusing to look at him. Buffy pulls out another pair of black pants, and holds them against her hips.

"What am I supposed to do tonight while you go and rub up against a bunch of undeserving hormone impaired frat guys?" Spike jealously asks.

Buffy looks at him, and noticing the hurt, and anger on his face asks, "Would you be jealous?"

Spike glares at her, and stomps off. **Stupid wanker, you let her see how you feel.**

Buffy smiles to herself as she realizes he would be jealous. "Touchy touchy, Mr. hey what is your last name?" Buffy asks with curiosity.

"None of your business," Spike snaps back with his back to her.

"Fine, be a big grouch. I'm going to have fun tonight. You're still welcome to patrol." As she says this, Buffy lets the pants she is wearing slide down. She steps out of them, and starts to put on the black ones when Spike turns around shouting, "I'm not doing your hellip;"

Spike stops when he sees Buffy pulling on the pants. His eyes linger on her tanned thighs, and travel further up to her lace panties that are practically see through.

Buffy looks up when he stops speaking, and shoots him a dirty look as she zips up the pants.

"Pervert," Buffy shouts trying to sound angry. She can feel her skin burning from his intense gaze.

Spike doesn't answer, he just begins to pace again. **Something is going wrong in my head. I'm not supposed to like the slayer. I'm not supposed to want the slayer. I'm not supposed to be jealous, or angry, or upset. She's supposed to be my enemy.**

"Spike," Buffy calls to him breaking into his thoughts.

"What, pet?"

"Turn around while I change my shirt."

Spike does as he's told. He stares at the wall. **I should be happy. The plan is working. She likes me, and soon she'll want me, and soon after that she'll love me, and my dear old sire will die of the humiliation, and pain. Then why am I not happy?**

"Okay done. How do I look?" Buffy asks.

Spike turns around, and if he had to breathe he wouldn't have been able to. The slayer stood before him in a pair of black pants, and a maroon shirt that dipped dangerously far between her breasts. It exposed her lovely neck, and for the first time in centuries, Spike didn't want to bite the neck of a human, he wanted to kiss it. **She's breathtaking.**

"You look, beautiful," he murmurs despite his brain telling him to shut up.

Buffy smiles, and asks, "Really?"

Spike shakes himself out of his trance, and replies with a shrug, "Yeah, you look all right."

Buffy frowns at him before replying, "Thanks." Buffy walks over to the mirror to fix her hair, and make up. Spike watches as she sweeps her hair up in a twist, and fastens it with an intricately decorated clip. He watches as she applies a fresh coat of lip stick. His gaze follows the lipstick as it glides along her lips. **Lips I kissed last night.** He watches as she licks her lips causing him to unconsciously groan.

Buffy stares at her reflection critically. She finally sighs, and turns around announcing, "This will just have to do."

Spike continues to watch her.

"What are you looking at," she demands with her hands on her hips.

Spike looks away, and replies, "Nothing."

Buffy looks at him curiously before continuing, "I'm going to do a sweep before the party. Want to come?"

Spike hesitates before answering, "No, I'll just stay here tonight. I should probably lay low after last night anyway."

"True. Well, I brought you some blood." Buffy opens her backpack, and removes the container. She hands it to Spike. "Don't drink it all right now, cause it's all you're getting tonight," she orders.

She digs further into her bag, and removes a t shirt, and his duster. "I had to buy you a new shirt. Your shirt was ruined, but I did manage to recover this for you," Buffy says holding up Spike's duster.

Spike stares at Buffy in awe. **She went to all this trouble for me. She's so sweet. Dammit, you're doing it again.** Spike takes the clothes from Buffy, and mumbles, "Thanks."

"I even made sure I bought a black shirt, because I know how much you like that color," she tries to joke, but Buffy knows she spent way too much time in the store obsessing over which shirt to buy him.

"You didn't have to," Spike whispers turning away from the slayer. What he really wants to do is take her in his arms, and show her how much he appreciates everything she's done, but he can't. Her kindness has touched him somewhere that has been dormant since Dru left, and that scares him.

"I know, but I wanted to," Buffy answers.

When Spike doesn't answer her, she changes the subject, "I don't know what you are going to do all night in here, but I have some books, and Willow has some books, and there's always the radio, or solitaire. You could do my homework if you wanted."

"I think I'll do some reading, or maybe make some friends in your dorm here," he jokes pulling the t shirt over his head.

The shirt is a little too small, and Buffy stares at the material that is tightly hugging his toned upper body. Spike notices the slayer staring at him, and puts on his duster.

Buffy finally looks away, and answers, "Spike stay in the room. I'm not supposed to have people living with me as it is."

"Fine, I'll read then." He picks up the nearest book. "Introductory psychology? Do you have anything more interesting to read?" he asks tossing the book aside.

"I have the latest Cosmo. There's a great article on how to achieve the greatest orgasm you've ever had," Buffy says a teasing smile on her face. She's trying to ease the tension, but she also knows she's playing with fire. The look on Spike's face when she told him she had gone back for his clothes had made her heart stop. Not to mention the way he filled out a t shirt.

"I don't need a bloody woman's magazine to tell me how to pleasure a woman," he growls.

"Full of yourself much?"

Spike walks over to her, and stands so their bodies are almost touching. His nearness sends chills coursing through Buffy that are instantly warmed as an overwhelming heat encompasses her body.

"Would you like to find out, pet?" he suggests with a seductively sexy smile.

Buffy is at a loss for words. She knows she should shove him back into his place, but her body is screaming out to be touched, to be cooled by his. She looks up into his eyes, and sees the desire burning in them. She licks her lips in anticipation. Spike loses any defense he has left. He places his hand on her cheek, and traces his thumb over her lips causing Buffy to sharply inhale. Spike slowly lowers his lips towards hers. Buffy closes her eyes dying to feel the pressure of his cool lips on hers.

The knock on the door shatters the moment, and Spike moves away from her. Buffy opens her eyes, and looks at Spike with disappointment. He shrugs, and picks up the container of blood, and feeds.

"Who's there," Buffy calls out annoyed.

"Willow, is it all right if I come in," she asks from the other side of the door.

Buffy gives Spike a nervous look before opening the door. Willow is standing in the hallway with a sheepish grin on her face.

"Why wouldn't it be all right if you came in?" Buffy asks.

"I didn't want to interrupt anything," Willow nervously answers.

"You're not interrupting anything," Buffy lies.

Spike flinches at her words.

"Hi Spike," Willow calls out to him as she enters the room. Spike nods in her direction, and picks up his annoying habit of pacing.

"Would you stop that," both girls shout at once.

Spike stops and looks at them. "Sorry. I feel a bit like a caged cat in here," he says with a grin.

"Maybe we should take him out for a walk," Willow jokes.

Spike glares at her, and Willow just laughs. After what happened earlier, Willow feels completely comfortable around Spike. In fact, she will even admit that she likes him.

"I think it's time to be party bound," Buffy says wanting to escape the uneasy tension in the room. The almost kiss has just added even more tension, and confusion to an already confusing tension filled situation.

Willow takes one last glance at the dejected look on Spike's face, and suggests, "Why don't we take Spike with us?"

Spike, and Buffy both look at her with shock at her suggestion. Spike slowly grins. "How bout it luv, can I go," Spike asks, and then pleads, "Pretty please with a cherry on top."

Buffy can't help laughing at the puppy dog look he is giving her. "I thought you wanted to lay low?" Buffy hesitantly asks not sure if this is a good idea.

"The last place vengeful vampires will look for me is at a frat party."

"He has a point," Willow points out.

Buffy gives Willow a funny look, and Willow just shrugs. Buffy relents, and mutters, "Let's go before I change my mind."

Spike grins, and Buffy shoots him a pointed look. "You better behave," she warns.

"I'll be on my best behavior," he promises giving her a wicked grin.

Buffy grabs her coat, and the three head out for the party. **I'm so going to regret this. This is a bad idea. This is such a bad idea. **

*~*~*~*~*~*

Part Eleven

Willow chatters the whole way over to the party. She can sense the uneasiness between Buffy and Spike. Buffy, and Spike make the journey in silence. When they arrive at the party it is all ready in full swing. Willow, and Buffy go in first, and Spike waits on the porch.

"What?" Buffy asks.

"Are you going to invite me in," Spike asks annoyed.

"Sorry, come in," Buffy says.

Spike follows the girls in and looks at all the young warm bodies around him. He curses silently to himself. Buffy grins at his frustrated situation. She knows he is dying to just take a couple of people and drain them, but he can't. Spike glares at her.

"I'm going to go get something to drink," Willow shouts over the music.

She quickly disappears into the party leaving Buffy, and Spike alone. Buffy takes off her jacket, and rests it on her arm. Buffy looks around the party.

"Well, I guess I'm going to go mingle," Buffy shouts towards Spike.

"Slayer, wait," Spike shouts.

Buffy turns to him, and he grabs her arm. He pulls her outside.

"What?" Buffy nervously asks.

"About earlier," Spike starts. He doesn't know what to say, so he just says, "I'm sorry." Buffy is taken a back by his apology. She doesn't understand why he is apologizing, except he doesn't like her. She looks away from him.

"It's okay. Let's just forget it," Buffy mumbles.

"No, that's not what I meant. I don't know what I mean," he says running his hand through his hair in frustration.

Riley comes up behind Spike. "I'm so glad you came," he says with a huge smile on his face. Buffy smiles back, and Spike turns around to glare at Riley.

"And you brought a friend," Riley finishes. Riley eyes Spike suspiciously, and Spike looks the boy up, and down with a smirk.

"Hi Riley, this is Spike," Buffy says nodding towards the blonde vampire.

"Nice to meet you," Riley nervously says offering his hand to Spike.

Spike looks at the offered hand, and says, "So this is Riley, nice to meet you mate."

Spike grabs his hand in a bone crushing shake. Riley winces in pain, but doesn't pull away.

"Spike behave," Buffy sharply whispers.

Riley takes his crushed hand back, and stares at Buffy with a questioning gaze.

"Sorry Riley. Spike doesn't have any manners," Buffy says shooting Spike an angry look.

"Watch your mouth, little girl," Spike growls.

"Or you'll what?" Buffy sarcastically asks. Spike just glares at her before walking back inside. Riley, and Buffy stand in an uncomfortable silence. Riley searches for something to say.

"So your friend is very umm interesting."

"Yeah Spike is unique."

"So is he like your boyfriend, or something," Riley nervously asks.

"Spike? NO, he's just a friend. Well, not really, more like an annoying pain in the ass that's always around, but he's like that old t shirt you always sleep in even though its ripped, and holey."

Riley looks at her confused, not understanding the analogy.

Buffy continues, "You know you should tell it to get lost, but you just don't have the heart to do it, because you're just so used to it, and it really doesn't even bother you anymore. In fact it's grown on you so much, you'd miss it if it went away, and this is just a bad analogy."

"No, I think I get it."

Buffy smiles weakly at him.

Riley continues, "So do you want to get something to drink?"

"Sure," Buffy replies, and follows Riley inside. Riley leads her over to the drinks, and grabs two cokes. He opens one, and hands it to her.

"Thanks," Buffy replies scanning the party for Spike. She knows she was mean to him, but he just made her so mad. **Why did he apologize? He regrets it. He doesn't want it. He doesn't want me.**

"So Buffy, this is fun," Riley comments.

"Yeah. I'm having a good time."

Not having anything else to say, Riley asks, "Do you want to dance?"

Buffy stops scanning the room, and turns to Riley. "Sure."

Riley takes her coat, and sets it on a couch. He then takes her hand, and leads her to the dance floor. Just as they reach it, a slow song starts. Riley awkwardly puts his arms around her, and begins to sway.

Spike stares at the dancing pair, and scowls. Dejected he slumps against the wall, and fumbles for a cigarette. He lights it, and inhales deeply. Willow cautiously walks over to Spike.

"Spike," Willow nervously asks.

Spike breaks his stare, and looks at Willow. "Yeah?"

"They're just dancing," she answers.

"I don't like him," he bluntly replies with a growl.

"But you like her, don't you?"

Spike breaks his gaze, and looks at the red head. "No, I mean, she's my partner and all. I'm just being brotherly."

"Right, I'm sure that's all there is to it," Willow teases him.

"It is," he angrily argues.

"Okay, calm down. I was just teasing," Willow answers, and grabs his hand dragging him into another room. She pulls Spike over to a couch, and they sit down. He can't see Buffy from his current location. Willow knowingly smiles at him.

"Would you stop it," he shouts taking another drag of his cigarette.

"You like her. You so like her."

"Do not," he protests.

"Do too, do too," she laughs when he growls, and slouches further into the couch.

"Shut up," he grumbles.

"It's okay to like her, Spike."

Spike's face clouds over, and he looks away. He doesn't want Willow to see the pain, and confusion that are now evident on his face. "No, it's not," he says through clenched teeth.

"Why?"

Spike sighs. He knows the real reason. It's because it'll ruin his plan. His perfectly thought out plan. He can't tell that to Willow, so he simply offers this excuse, "I'm a vampire."

"Been there, done that," Willow replies.

"Without a soul," Spike adds with meaning.

"You may not technically have a soul, but there's something inside of you that's different from all other vampires."

"Yeah, I'm a big poof, just like my bloody sire," Spike sarcastically replies with hatred seeping into his words.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"I know. I'm just not having a bloody good day."

Willow rests her hand on his knee in comfort.

Spike smiles thankfully at her. They don't notice Buffy approach them. She glances at the dejected look on Spike's face, and her heart breaks. She stands in front of the pair with her hands on her hips.

"Hey people, this is a party. No serious conversation, and depression allowed," Buffy commands.

Willow looks up at her, and says, "Sorry Buffy, we were just talking, and one good thing led to a depressing thing."

Spike is still looking down at his lap. Buffy smiles, and sits on his knees. She tilts his head up with her fingers. "I hate when that happens," she lightly laughs.

Spike doesn't respond. "You know these things will kill you," Buffy jokes taking the cigarette from Spike, and smashing it in an ashtray.

"Having fun luv? Spike asks trying to mask his hurt, and confusion.

"No," Buffy complains.

"Why?" Spike asks alarmed. **If that wanker did anything to her, I'll rip his heart out, and make him eat it.**

"You haven't asked me to dance," Buffy complains with pouty lips.

Spike can't stop the smile that appears. He takes the slayer hand, and she stands up. Spike takes off his duster, and hands it to Willow.

Willow takes it, and smiles at the pair. Seeing it with her own eyes, seeing how much Spike really cares about Buffy, has changed Willow's mind. She honestly thinks Spike would make Buffy happy, and love her. She still doesn't think it's a good idea, him being Spike, and all, but it seems inevitable, since she can tell they both like each other.

Spike leads Buffy to the dance floor. The song playing isn't fast, and it isn't slow. It's a sultry, melodic song. Buffy begins to move her hips seductively to the beat. Spike barely moves as he watches her body gyrate to the music. Buffy moves closer to him and runs her hands down his chest, and to his abdomen. Spike's muscles tremor under her touch. Buffy smiles up at him before sliding her hands around to his lower back, and under his shirt. Her hands play across the cold skin of his back as she grinds her hips against him. Spike closes his eyes, as tremendous pleasure overwhelms his senses. He can smell her, and feel her, and he wants her.

Buffy watches Spike as he closes his eyes. She smiles when his face shifts into a dream like peacefulness. She turns around, and slowly slides her body up, and down his. His hands snake around to her stomach. He pulls her closer to him, and she can feel his arousal. He lowers his head to her neck, and lightly lets his lips play across the warm smooth skin. His cool lips send shocks of electricity through Buffy's body. She trustingly tilts her head giving him better access to her neck. They both know they shouldn't be doing this, but neither can stop themselves.

Spike lets out a little moan as she rubs up against him. Buffy raises her arms, and runs her hands through his hair. Spike tightens his grip around her waist hooking his fingers in the waistband of her pants. He slowly trails his tongue from the base of her neck to just below her ear sending an intense burning through her body. Her blood is screaming out to him, but his demon is beaten down by his desire, and love.

Buffy drops her arms letting them trail down his face before covering his hands with her own. Buffy unhooks his hands from her pants, and brings them back to her side. She leads them up her sides, and lightly over her breasts before spinning around. She entwines her arms around Spike's neck. She gazes up at him with desire, and longing burning in her eyes. Spike loses any last sense of control he has, and savagely attacks her mouth. He grabs her, and holds her possessively against him. Buffy sighs, and holds onto him tighter. They stop moving to the rhythm, and let their tongues do all the dancing.

Buffy finally breaks the kiss as she gasps for air. Spike staggers backwards overwhelmed by his emotions. He stares at Buffy with confusion, and fear as the ramifications of what he is feelings hit him. Buffy reaches out to him, but he steps further back. Taking one last look at his enemy, the cause of everything in his life being destroyed, he runs out.

Buffy stares after him. Tears well in her eyes, and she takes off in the other direction. In her fleeing, she runs directly into Riley, who had witnessed her erotic dance.

"Buffy, are you okay?" he asks as he grabs a hold of her.

"Let me go," she sobs.

She tears away from Riley's grip and runs out into the night. She keeps running, past her dorm, off the campus, and all the way to her old neighborhood. She finally stops, out of breathe, against a tree. She tries to catch her breathe between her sobs. Her emotions are all mixed up.

Part of her is scared of what she is feeling for Spike, and the other part is hurt that Spike doesn't want her. **Why would he?** Buffy walks slowly to her house. Thoughts of Spike invade her mind. Feelings of confusion, desire, love, and pain overwhelm her. She quietly climbs into her window, so as not to wake her mom. She doesn't even bother to take off her shoes. She just curls up into the fetal position, and cries herself into a fitful sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Part Twelve

After leaving the party, Spike takes to the streets looking for a release. His first encounter is with a pair of vampires. He takes his time, beating them to an unrecognizable bloody pulp, before staking them. Thoughts of the slayer dance in his mind mixed with horrid images of the past.

The images flash by quickly. He sees her rubbing her hips against him, holding the stake to Drusilla's heart, smiling at him, fighting Angelus in the mansion, bandaging his wounds, pleading with that lunk head she nailed, standing in the school hallway asking him if they really need weapons for this, kissing him passionately, and finally of her fighting him, and thoroughly kicking his ass.

His mind quickly shifts gear to see images from further back. He sees Drusilla the day he met her, and when she was attacked in Prague. He sees Angelus draining him. He sees Drusilla clawing all over his sire, and his sire leering at him. He sees Drusilla leaving him. He sees Drusilla fucking the chaos demon she first left him for.

Finally he sees the wheelchair. The wheelchair that left him a bystander to Angelus', and Drusilla's games. The wheelchair that made him feel useless, and led to his making a deal with the slayer. **The bloody wheelchair the slayer put me in.**

Furious, Spike storms up to the first person he sees. He drags the young boy into an alley. He holds the boy up off the ground by his neck. "Let me ask you something, mate. If someone ruined your whole bloody life, could you ever love her?"

The boy doesn't answer. He can't answer with Spike choking him.

"Well," Spike shouts vamping out.

The boy's head lolls to the side as he passes out from not being able to breathe. Spike twists his hand sharply snapping the boys neck.

"You were no help," he shouts at the corpse as he lets the dead boy fall to the ground.

That night Spike asked over a dozen people the same question. None of them answered him, and he either drained them, or snapped their necks. He disposed of their bodies carefully, so as not to arouse suspicion later when he resumes his plan.

The only reason he stops is the impending sun rise. As the sun begins to rise, Spike ducks into the sewers, and makes his way back to his old lair. He storms into his bedroom, and Harmony screams.

"Daddy's home sweets. Time to play."

Spike doesn't wait for her to answer him, or even utter a single word before he is on top of her, thrusting his mouth forcefully onto hers. He takes her without asking. As he slams into her, oblivious to her pleas, and tears, he curses the slayer in his head. He savagely rips into Harmony's neck as he comes, and she cries out in pain. When he's finished, he pulls out of her, and flops down on the bed satisfied.

**The slayer is not going to beat me. I'm going to kill her, and she is going to suffer even more now than before. Bloody bitch, how dare she make me love her.**

*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy awakens just before dawn. Her whole body aches. She slowly climbs from the bed, and reaches for the phone. She dials her dorm room number. On the second ring, a groggy Willow answers. "Buffy?"

"Yeah Will, it's me. I'm okay. I'm just calling so you won't worry anymore," Buffy flatly says.

"Where are you? Are you with Spike?"

"No, I'm at home."

"Are you okay? I mean with what happened with Spike?"

"No, Will I'm not." The constant tears form in Buffy's eyes again, and she chokes out, "I'm not okay. I feel empty, ashamed, embarrassed, ugly, repulsive, and alone."

"I'm sorry Buffy."

Buffy cruelly laughs, "God, and I practically screwed him in front of everyone. I'm such a fool."

"No, Buffy you're not. Spike cares about you. I think he loves you."

"Willow don't lie to me. It might make me feel better, but in the end I'll be worse. There's no hope. The sooner I realize that, the sooner things will go back to normal."

"I know, but I really think he does. The way he talks about you."

"Well, he's gone. Why do they always leave me?"

"I don't know, Buffy," is the only answer Willow can offer.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Part Thirteen

Spike spends the two days after the party rebuilding his hatred for the slayer. When he feels he has refocused, he gets ready to confront the slayer again, and move on with his plan. He glances at Harmony chained to the bed, and sighs. ** I might as well let her go now.**

Spike unhooks her from the chains, and she limply falls free. Not saying a word, Spike leaves the lair, and heads towards Buffy's dorm room.

He stands in front of her door. He's anxious,and nervous. **Make it believable.** He doesn't hear any sounds from inside, but knocks anyway. He finally hears shifting inside, and the door slowly opens. Standing in front of him, is the slayer. She is wearing a tank top, old sweats, and his duster. Her feet are bare, and her hair is pulled back into a sloppy ponytail. There are dark rings around her puffy eyes.

Spike almost loses it when he sees her. The pain in the slayer's gaze hurts him somewhere deep inside. He tries to reign in his emotions, but it is next to impossible to not feel his heart swell with love, and pain. He forces himself to see images of Drusilla to get his anger back up, but it comes in weak flashes.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry," Spike murmurs wrapping his arms around her small body.

Buffy collapses into his arms. She feels her throat constricting, and tears welling in her eyes. Spike senses her impending tears, and rubs her back. "It's okay, baby. Don't cry."

Buffy melts into his arms. She inhales the distinct smell that is Spike. The smell that had lingered on his duster, and the reason Buffy had worn it non stop since she found it the day after the party.

Spike steps back, and looks at Buffy. Buffy looks away from his gaze, and asks, "Why'd you leave?"

Spike tilts her chin up so she is looking into his eyes. "I was scared," he answers.

"I'm scared too," Buffy replies.

Spike shuts the door with his foot. He fingers the collar of his duster. The fact that she is wearing it breaks Spike's undead heart.

"You like my coat?" he quietly asks.

"You left it at the party, so Willow picked it up for you."

Buffy starts to shrug it off, but Spike stops her. "It looks better on you," he whispers.

Buffy's heart flutters in her chest. Spike winks at her, and picks her up. He carries her to the bed, and gently sets her down. He takes off his boots before crawling behind her. He lays on his side, and pulls her to his chest, nuzzling his head into her neck.

They lay there in silence. Buffy doesn't think of anything. She just lays there enjoying the feel of being in his arms. Over and over in his head, Spike tells himself to just stick to the plan, but seeing Buffy had put his perfect plan in trouble again. He desperately tries to not be pulled in by the slayer.

He glances down at her peaceful face. Her eyes are closed, and there is a small smile on her lips. Spike looks down to their hands. His rests on her stomach, and Buffy's rests on top of his. Her thumb unconsciously caresses the back of his hand. **Bloody hell. This was the stupidest fucking plan I've ever thought up.** At some point they both drift off to sleep.

When Buffy wakes up the next morning, she smiles. Spike's arms are still holding her tightly to him. She glances over to Willow's bed, and notices that she has already left for the day. Buffy snuggles closer to Spike causing him to moan. Buffy stops moving, not wanting to wake him up, but she is too late. Spike opens his eyes, and smiles. He places a kiss right below her ear before slowly pushing his duster away from her shoulders, and kissing her bare skin causing Buffy to inhale sharply.

Spike continues to gently suck on her neck as Buffy's mind begins to swim, and her body tenses in anticipation, and need. Spike's hands slide down to her stomach. His hands play across her abdomen, and Buff y's trembles under his touch.

Spike slowly slides his hand lower, and beneath her sweats. He raises his eyebrows, and lets out a quiet growl when he finds nothing underneath her sweats, but her skin. Buffy gasps, and collapses against him as she feels his fingers enter her.

Spike rolls her over onto her back, and moves his mouth to hers. He gently coaxes her mouth open, and caresses her tongue with his. An incredible heat engulfs Buffy as Spike slowly moves his hand thrusting in and out of her. He moves his mouth from hers, and down her neck causing Buffy to gasp for air.

Spike removes his hand, and Buffy whimpers at the loss of his touch. He grins at her before sliding down her body. He lifts her shirt up, and places gentle kisses on her stomach as he slides her sweats down in one quick motion. Buffy wiggles in anticipation as Spike moves his mouth further down. She moans as she feels his tongue flick across her clit. He repeats the action, and Buffy arches up against him. Spike grabs her hips, and plunges his tongue deep inside of her. Buffy digs her nails into his shoulders drawing blood. Her breathing increases as she feels herself being pushed over the edge.

With one last flick of his tongue, Spike sends her over. She screams his name as the tremendous pleasure ripples through her body. Spike looks up at her as she lays there trying to catch her breathe. He smiles, and climbs back up her body. He gazes down at her as she slowly opens her eyes to look at him. She reaches up, and without hesitation, pulls his mouth down to hers, and hungrily kisses him.

Spike presses his body against hers, and she can feel his hardness against her thigh. Buffy moves her hand to caress him through his jeans eliciting a moan from Spike. Her fingers fumble with his buttons. The desire burning through Spike is almost unbearable, and he removes her hands from his pants, and quickly unfastens his jeans.

The desire to bury himself deep inside of her takes over, and Spike rips at her tank top slashing it down the middle. He breaks away from her mouth, to yank his shirt over his head. Buffy lets out a little cry, and Spike jerks his head to look at her. Fear washes over him that he hurt her, or scared her. He stares down at the slayer. She can see the hesitation, and concern in his eyes, and she smiles up at him.

She takes her hands, and pushes his jeans down, silently telling him it is okay. Spike kicks his jeans to the floor. He positions himself to enter her, but hesitates. His mind starts to overload. **The plan. It's part of the plan. I love her. I want her. I want her to love me. Drusilla. Angelus. Wheelchair. Warm body. Buffy's body. Bloody hell I want her.**

"Spike?" Buffy whispers.

Spike snaps out of his thoughts, and looks at the slayer. She's nervously biting her lip, and looking up at him with fear, and love. Spike kisses her gently on the lips before slowly thrusting himself into her. Buffy gasps, and grips his shoulders tighter as he slowly moves in and out of her. She wraps her legs around his waist urging him to move faster with her hips. Spike recaptures her mouth in a passionate kiss.

Buffy feels the pressure build inside her, and breaks away from his kiss to look into his eyes. Just as Spike locks eyes with her, she screams his name for the second time as her orgasm floods her body. She claws at his back as the pleasure washes over her. Spike watches her as she comes. **Bloody hell she's beautiful.**

With a few more quick thrusts Spike follows her over the edge. He growls, vamping out. He turns his head away from Buffy, and tries to pull away, but Buffy holds him inside her with her legs. She yanks his head back up, and attacks his mouth. His fangs slice her tongue, and Spike sucks her tongue into his mouth, tasting her sweet, powerful blood.

Spike releases her tongue, and instantly changes back to his human features. He stares down at Buffy. Her eyes are closed, and her face is glowing with perspiration, and pleasure. Her body is still slightly trembling underneath him. She slowly opens her eyes, and smiles up at him.

"I think we ruined your coat," she gently laughs.

Spike kisses the tip of her nose. "It was worth it."

Spike gently pulls out of her, and lays on his side propping his head up with his hand. His hand slowly traces patterns on her belly. Buffy closes her eyes, and just enjoys the feeling of being with Spike.

"Where's Red?" Spike curiously asks.

Buffy laughs, and opens her eyes. "She's not here, so no we didn't give her a good show."

Spike chuckles before saying, "Can you imagine the look on her face if she saw that."

Buffy grins at the thought, and adds, "She'd be redder than her hair."

"To say the least," Spike answers.

Buffy looks away, and nervously asks, "Spike?"

"What, luv?"

Spike turns her head so she is looking at him again. She looks up into his blue eyes. "Are you still scared?"

"More than ever," he answers staring into her eyes.

"Me too."

Silence descends on the pair, and Spike protectively pulls her against his chest.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The next two weeks quickly pass by. Buffy didn't tell anyone about Spike except Willow. She was supportive, but still warned Buffy to be careful. Every night Spike went on patrol with Buffy. They fought demons, and with each other. Occasionally on a slow night, they would spar with each other with both their fists, and with their tongues.

Though they slept in each others arms, they had not been intimate again. One reason was Willow was ten feet away. The other, more pressing reason, was that they were both trying to sort out their feelings.

They spent a great deal of time talking. Buffy told Spike about her life, and about past slaying adventures. Spike shared some of his more tame exploits. As the days wore on, they became closer, and closer and shared their dreams, fears, and desires. On rare occasions they would even talk about Angel, and Drusilla.

The one subject they never talked about was their feelings towards each other. While they both knew they loved the other, the reality of it was still hard to accept. Neither could admit it to the other, and barely could admit it to themselves. A lot of time was spent lost in their own confusion, and frustration. The silence was never uncomfortable, but one of them would eventually ask the other what they were thinking about. That person would then reply with a secretive smile, "Nothing." It was a little game they played, but in actuality they both knew what the thoughts were about. The confusion that still surrounded the feelings prevented either from talking about it.

Spike would lie awake at night watching her sleep trying to find an answer to his problem. He had to force himself to hate her, and he had to force himself to remember the plan. The plan that was so perfect, and well laid out, now gave him doubts. He didn't know if he could kill the slayer now. The thought of hurting Angel didn't bother him, but thinking about losing the slayer scared him. He liked fighting with her. He liked talking with her. He liked the way she smiled at him, and touched his cheek when she said goodnight. He liked the way she smelled, the way she walked, the way she laughed at him. He liked kissing her, holding her, touching her. He loved her.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Part Fourteen

Harmony looks up at the building, and checks the address again. She is at the right place. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts, and walks inside. She walks along the halls until she reads a sign that says, "Angel Investigations." Harmony opens the door, and walks inside. Cordelia is sitting at her desk filing her nails. She is talking to man Harmony doesn't recognize. When she shuts the door, both of them look up at her.

Cordelia's face breaks out into a frantic smile.

"Harmony, oh my God, you're here. I mean in LA."

"Hi, Cordelia," Harmony answers.

"What are you doing here?" Cordelia asks, checking her clothes before standing up.

"The usual, shopping, and stuff."

"Right. LA's great for that. We should get together, and go sometime."

Doyle coughs at Cordelia seeking an introduction. Cordelia ignores him.

"Right, that would be fun," Harmony nervously answers.

"So Harmony, what's new with you?" Cordelia asks, sitting on the edge of the desk.

"A lot of things," Harmony answers.

"So tell. What's the scoop on Sunnydale?"

Doyle coughs again. Cordelia swings her leg, and kicks him.

"Hey," Doyle yelps.

"Harmony, this is Doyle. Ignore him. He's not important."

"Nice to meet you," Doyle offers.

"Cordelia, you always had the strangest taste in guys."

Cordelia fumes, before answering, "We're not together. He just hangs around here like the complete loser he is."

"Hey, I work here," Doyle argues.

"Right, just like I do," Cordelia offers a fake laugh.

"What are you doing here?" Harmony asks confused.

"Just waiting for Angel."

"Oh, you and Angel?" Harmony asks.

"No, not like that. Friends. He has great connections in the industry, and well since I'm a rising star, we get thrown together a lot," Cordelia lies.

Doyle just snickers.

"Cool, so where is Angel?"

"You came here to see Angel?" Cordelia asks shocked.

"Yeah. I have something to tell him."

"About what?" Cordelia jealously asks.

"Stuff. It's kind of private. Can I talk to him?"

"There are no secrets around here, darling," Doyle answers. "If you want to talk to the big guy, you're going to have to tell us why."

"It's about Spike," Harmony answers.

Both Doyle's, and Cordelia's faces change. They remember the last time Spike came to town.

"I'll go get Angel," Doyle mutters before hurrying to the elevator.

"How do you know Spike?" Cordelia asks with interest.

"From around."

"Around where? He's a vampire."

"I know. Things change."

"Spike's not a vampire now?"

"No, he still is, but I've changed."

Cordelia looks Harmony up, and down. "I guess so, if you're hanging around Spike," Cordelia answers in disgust.

Angel, and Doyle return ending anymore questions from Cordelia. Angel gets straight to the point, and asks, "Harmony, what do you know about Spike?"

"Can we talk alone?" Harmony nervously asks.

Angel finally senses that Harmony is a vampire, and instantly goes on the defensive. "Sure, why don't I meet you in that room over there in a minute," Angel says as he points to the office. Harmony walks into the office, and shuts the door. Angel turns to Cordelia, and Doyle, and whispers, "She's a vampire."

"What?" Cordelia shouts.

"A little louder, so she knows we're talking about her," Doyle jokes.

Angel just gives Cordelia a pained look, before following Harmony into the office. He shuts the door, and tells Harmony, "You're a vampire."

"I know that. That's not why I am here though."

"Why are you here?" Angel asks.

"Because Spike hurt me," Harmony pouts.

Angel looks at the girl strangely. "How did he hurt you, and what does that have to do with me?"

"Well, first he told me he loves syphilis more than me, and then he staked me, but I had the Gem of Amara on. Well, then he practically ripped my finger off to get it, and then he left me."

Angel interrupts her, "So he broke your heart."

Harmony sniffles, "Yes, but then he came back promising to stay with me forever, and I believed him, but he left me again."

Harmony breaks down into sobs, and Angel awkwardly pats her shoulder. "How is it that I can help you?"

"Well, I want to get him back for being so mean to me. I loved him. I gave him everything he ever wanted, and he treats me like like like. I don't like what, but it's not nice, and then he chained me up, and was all rough, and hurt me."

"He attacked you sexually?"

Harmony nods.

"Well, I hate to say it, but that's just Spike. He likes chains, pain, and all that stuff."

"But he was never like that before. He was sweet, and gentle, and promised to take me to France."

Angel is growing impatient with the pathetic creature in his office. He thinks she just wants him to kill Spike. "Harmony, I don't think I can help you."

"But you can. You're the only one who can. If Spike doesn't love me, well then he's going to pay for what he did to me."

"I don't do revenge."

"It's only revenge for me. For you, it's helping Buffy."

At the sound of her name, Angel growls, and his eyes flash.

Harmony seeing the change smiles. "That's right. Buffy's in danger. See Spike thought I was asleep, or passed or, or whatever while I was chained up. And he so talks to himself. It's weird to watch him pace, and mutter under his breathe. I swear he should see a shrink, because I think he's emotionally unstable, and a little crazy. If he wasn't so cute, I wouldn't even bother with him."

Angel grabs Harmony's shoulders. "What about Buffy?"

"Oh right, so he's pacing, and talking to himself about this plan he has. I swear he's crazy."

"The plan, Harmony. What is the plan?" Angel asks gripping her shoulders harder.

"Oww, let go," Harmony screams.

Angel releases his grip just as Cordelia, and Doyle burst in. "What's wrong?" Cordelia asks looking at the two. Angel is clenching his fists clearly worried, and pissed off, and Harmony is crying.

"Nothing. We'll be out in a minute," Angel shouts.

"Wow, chill out," Cordelia says annoyed.

Doyle drags her out of the room through her protests. Angel turns back to Harmony. "Tell me the plan?"

"Well, Spike wants to hurt you, and Buffy, so he started to help Buffy with her vampire thing."

"Spike is helping her? She's allowing him to help?" Angel asks shocked.

"I guess so. Anyway his plan is to get Buffy to fall in love with him, so he can rub it in your face, and then kill her. He figures you'll be all miserable forever because the girl you loved, loved him, and she's dead. It's actually a clever plan, even if it did come from Spike."

Angel cuts her off, "That plan will never work. Buffy would never..."

"Well, he was all grumbly about how she tricked him into liking her, and how the plan was working perfectly except that he loved her. I mean really, he's crazy. Who would love that freak Buffy? I guess a freak like Spike, but really."

"He said the plan was working?"

"Yeah about how she was falling for it, and had let him kiss her, and everything."

"I don't believe you," Angel shouts vamping out.

"Oh, someone's a bit angry," Harmony smiles.

"Get out," Angel yells.

"But, you're going to get Spike back for me right?"

"Out," Angel yells slamming his fist into the desk.

Harmony runs out of the room, and right past

Cordelia, and Doyle without a word. Cordelia, and Doyle wait in the main room for Angel to reappear.

"I wonder what she said?" Cordelia says.

"Whatever it was, it wasn't good," Doyle answers.

"Must have been about Buffy," she says as her voice trails off at the end as Angel reappears his vamp face gone.

"Well?" Cordelia asks, and Doyle shoots her a look telling her to shut up.

"I have to go back to Sunnydale. Buffy's in trouble," Angel answers heading down to his apartment.

"Want us to come with you?" Doyle asks.

"No, I'll go alone," Angel answers, and then disappears.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Part Fifteen

Buffy kicks the feet out from under the vampire. He falls onto his back, and Spike shoves a stake in his heart.

"Hey, that's no fair. That was my slay," Buffy protests.

"I have to have my fun too, pet. You got to do all the beating. I was jealous."

Buffy giggles, "Poor little Spike isn't having any fun."

"Hey, I'm not little," Spike defensively argues.

"Believe me, I know," she says with a seductive smile.

Spike raises his eyebrows at her, and pulls her to him. "I know how I can have some fun," he growls in her ear while rubbing his hard on against her.

"Definitely not little," Buffy murmurs.

Spike yanks her mouth to his. His cool lips press roughly against hers. His tongue invades her mouth, sending tingling sensations through Buffy's body. She knows they have been moving towards this, and tonight she wants it, tonight she's ready for it. Buffy finally pulls away needing to breathe.

"I think we've patrolled enough tonight, don't you," she breathlessly says.

"Definitely," Spike answers knowing exactly what she means.

He pulls her into another demanding kiss. When he lets her up for air, they look at each other before taking off in a run to her room. They both know that Willow has an all night Wicca ceremony, and the room is theirs. They reach her room laughing. Buffy opens the door, and walks in. Spike kicks the door closed before pinning her up against it.

As their mouths clash, their hands roam each other's bodies removing clothing as they go. Buffy slides off Spike's duster before running her hands up under his T-shirt, and lightly scraping her nails across his smooth skin. Spike fumbles with the buttons of her top finally ripping them off in frustration. He quickly unhooks her bra, and pushes all her clothing to the floor, so she is naked from the waist up.

Still kissing her, Spike caresses her breasts causing Buffy to moan into his mouth. Breaking away from her mouth, Spike trails a path of kisses down her neck, and in between her breasts. Buffy leans back against the door panting, as Spike traces circles on her breast with his tongue before sucking her nipple into his mouth. Buffy gasps, and runs her fingers through his hair holding him to her. Spike moves to the other breast to repeat his attentions.

He pulls his head away from her grasp, and wickedly smiles at her, before grabbing her hips, and planting kisses, and bites all the way down her abdomen. He slowly licks the small traces of blood off of her stomach before continuing lower. He unzips her pants, and slides them off her hips kissing the newly exposed skin.

Buffy wiggles until they drop to the floor. She quickly kicks off her shoes, and steps out of her pants as Spike traces his tongue along the edge of her panties. She grabs Spike shirt, and rips it off of his body before hauling him back to her mouth. Buffy's hands glide over his cool, smooth chest, and abdomen as she explores his mouth with hers.

She unbuttons his jeans, and pushes them down. Her body reacts instantly when she realizes he is not wearing any underwear. Spike quickly kicks his boots, and jeans away, and picks Buffy up never breaking the kiss. She wraps her legs around his waist as he carries her to the bed.

He gently sets her on the bed, and looks into her eyes. **Fuck the bloody plan. I'm never letting her go.**

Buffy grabs him by the shoulders, and drags him down on top of her. Spike runs his hands along her body. Buffy grabs him by his head, and slams his mouth onto hers. Spike's hand slides underneath her panties, and into her heat. He slides his fingers in and out of her as Buffy arches her hips to meet his thrusts.

Buffy breaks away from his mouth, and moans his name as she climaxes under his actions. Spike slowly removes his hand, and hooks her panties with his fingers. He slides them down her legs. At her feet, Spike kisses her toes, sending Buffy into a giggling fit. Spike looks up at her, and frowns. He crawls back to her, so he is face to face with her.

"What are you laughing at?" he demands.

"Nothing," Buffy answers between giggles.

"You're laughing at me," Spike says with hurt.

"No, really I'm not."

"Well, I'm glad the way I shag has you amused. That really wasn't the response I was looking for," Spike says angrily standing up.

"Spike, I'm sorry. I swear I wasn't laughing at you," Buffy pleads sitting up, and gripping his hand.

"You had bloody better tell me then exactly why you were laughing."

"You and me. Here, doing this. It's so unbelievable, and then you kissed my toes. I expected you to maybe slam me against a door, and ravage my body, but to kiss my toes is so sweet."

"Just bloody great. You think I'm a giant puff now."

"No, Spike. I just realized that this isn't so weird. I don't have that this is good, but weird feeling anymore. It just feels right, and I started to giggle. Plus it tickled."

"You think this feels right?" Spike asks glancing down at her naked body.

"Yes, do you?" she asks. The few seconds that pass before he answers are filled with the greatest fear Buffy has ever felt. She doesn't even breathe. **If he says no, I think I'm going to die.**

"I feel it too," Spike quietly answers.

Buffy grins. She yanks him onto the bed, and shoves him onto his back. Buffy slides her legs around him, straddling him.

"Let's feel it together," Buffy says before lowering herself onto his cock.

Spike growls as he is engulfed by her heat, and Buffy bites her lip as she feels him fill her. Buffy rides him slow at first, unsure of herself in this position, but she quickly picks up her pace as he urges her on with his hands on her hips. Spike looks up at the slayer as she rides him. His heart fills with love as he watches her move up and down. Her eyes are closed, her head is thrown back, and her hands are lightly pressed to his chest. She opens her eyes when Spike grabs her hand entwining it with his.

He pulls her down so her chest is against his. He rolls them over switching their positions, their hands still entwined. Above her, Spike stares into her eyes, as he slowly thrusts into her. He raises his hand, and gently strokes her cheek. He doesn't want this moment to end. He stares into the love in her eyes, and kisses her sweetly.

Buffy feels herself tightening again, and wanting so much to release the pressure she lifts her hips quicker. Spike meets her thrusts, and they both explode shouting each others names. Spike vamps out, and slices her shoulder with his fangs. Buffy holds his head, as he licks the blood that trickles from the wound. Spike's face returns to his human features, and he softly kisses her.

With their hands still entwined, Spike lays his head on her shoulder, and listens to her heart pounding. As her breathing even outs, Buffy lifts Spike face to look at her.

"I love you," she whispers.

"I love you, pet," Spike murmurs back gently kissing her lips.

They both tense up when they hear clapping behind them. Both of their heads snap over to the door. Spike instantly vamps out, and growls when he sees his sire at the door. Buffy is in shock. All she can do is whisper, "Angel."

"That was a nice show. Touching really," Angel comments with disgust in his voice.

Spike pulls out of Buffy, and drops her hand before standing up. Angel throws him his pants, and Spike slides them on. Buffy pulls the covers over her naked body.

"Get out of here Angel, before I kill you," Spike threatens with a growl.

"You won't kill me Spike. That's not part of the plan. I'm supposed to suffer forever with the knowledge that dear Buffy here loves you," Angel mockingly answers.

Spike flinches, and both Buffy, and Angel notice.

Angel turns to Buffy, and with pain, and sadness in his voice asks her, "Buffy, how could you?"

Spike lunges at Angel, and grabs Angel around his throat. He holds him up against the door.

"Get out of here," Spike growls.

"I'm not going to let you hurt her," Angel growls back.

"You have no say in the matter anymore, mate. You left her, and now she is with me."

"Over my dead body," Angel threatens.

"If you insist," Spike answers. Spike lets Angel go, and faces him. "Come on Angel, you want to fight, we'll fight"

Buffy hasn't been able to speak. The joy of hearing Spike tell her he loves her, and then the shock of seeing Angel, and knowing that he had watched her, and Spike make love, overwhelms her senses. The words intermingle in her mind.

**"Buffy how could you?" "I love you" "Buffy how could you?" "I love you"**

Buffy screams trying to silence the words in her head. Both vampires turn their heads to see the petite slayer crying. They instantly lose their vamp faces, and run over to her. Spike gets there first having been closer to her. He sits on the bed, and wraps his arm around her.

"Baby, it'll be okay," he whispers brushing a loose strand of hair away from her face.

Angel grips his shoulder, but Spike doesn't move. He continues to comfort Buffy much to Angel's shock, and disappointment.

"Buffy," Angel begins.

Buffy cuts him off, "Why are you here?"

"To protect you from Spike," Angel answers his hand still gripping Spike's shoulder.

"She doesn't need to be protected from me," Spike angrily answers.

"I think she does, and she would too if she knew about your plan."

Spike is able to control his reaction this time, and doesn't even move. "There's no plan you wanker. Just sod off will you," Spike answers his voice showing no emotion. He turns back to Buffy. If his heart beat it would have stopped. As it is, he feels like his heart is breaking in two when he sees the distrust, and fear in her face. "Buffy, don't believe him," Spike pleads.

"Buffy, this is all Spike's plan to enact revenge on us. He wanted to make you trust him, and love him so he could torture me with it forever," Angel tells her.

"Spike?" Buffy asks.

Spike is looking at the floor, his whole world crumbling around him. **She believes him because she loves him. She doesn't love me. She never will. It's all over. I've lost again.**

When he doesn't answer, Buffy lifts his head up to look at her, and she sees the tears streaming down his face. "Spike," Buffy gasps as tears well in her eyes again.

"I'm sorry, baby," he chokes out before pushing past Angel, and running out of the room.

Buffy stands up, not caring that she is naked in front of Angel, and hurriedly puts on her clothes. She starts to take off after him, but Angel grabs her by the shoulders.

"Let him go. He was only going to hurt you."

"I can't," Buffy sobs trying to break away from him, but Angel pulls her to him in a crushing hug.

"He was going to kill you. It was all a game. Who you feel in love with was an act. It wasn't Spike. The real Spike is a cold blooded killer, who doesn't have the capacity to love."

"I love him," Buffy whispers as she cries into Angel's chest.

Her painful sobs tear Angel's heart apart. He knows she really does love Spike, and not him anymore.

Buffy brings her knee up into Angel's crouch. He groans and collapses to the floor, allowing Buffy to dart from the room. She runs blindly trying to find Spike. Buffy finally finds Spike's car parked at the cemetery. She can see him slouched in the driver's seat sobbing. She opens the passenger door, and climbs in. Spike looks up, and gets angry.

"What are you doing here slayer?"

"I want to hear it from you. I want to hear that you were going to kill me."

Spike stares at her. He sees the anger, and distrust, the pain, and the love.

"You want to hear it? Well, here it is. You pissed me off. I bloody hate you, and that fucking soul having poof you love. He took Dru from me. You made Dru leave me. You two made my life a living hell. I had no reason to live, except to make you suffer for everything you've done to me, including that bloody wheelchair. I wish that organ had killed me. It would have been worlds better than the hell that followed. So after you stole the ring from me, gave it to that wanker, and after he took it from me, I came up with a plan. During that whole torture, that I paid a pretty penny for by the way, the thing that hurt him the most was hearing about how his precious slayer had spread her legs for some weasel of a boy who had fucked her, and dumped her.

"Taking that piece of priceless information, I figured out the best torture for dear Dad. An eternity of knowing that the one woman he has ever loved, loved me instead, his despicable offspring. It's poetic you know, since I will have to live an eternity knowing that my princess, my black goddess, my Drusilla, loved him more than me. It was a perfect plan really. The only hitch being you had to love me. I stumbled here and there, but I succeeded. The slayer loves me, and Angel knows it. Hell even better than my plan, Angel saw it. I should be singing and dancing down the streets. I should be having tasty little treats of young beauties. Instead, I am sitting in my car crying over the slayer. This was not part of the plan."

Spike finishes his story, which the slayer has been listening to in stunned silence. He lets his head drop down onto the steering wheel.

"You were going to kill me?" Buffy whispers.

"I never said that," Spike answers.

"You told me the part of the plan that punished Angel, but what about me? Was my broken heart supposed to be my punishment? It's not your style, because you knew I'd get over it. There had to be something that I would suffer forever."

Spike sighs, and tells her, "Your punishment was supposed to be knowing that you loved a cold blooded demon, and that your Angel wouldn't be able to look at you. Which by the way happened. He may have wanted to protect you, but he looked at you like you were disgusting. He'll never love you again now. Which I suppose would be satisfying enough for a demon lesser than me, but it isn't. I was going to kill you. Your punishment being that for the few seconds it took to drain you, you would know how much you let down your friends, your watcher, Angel, your mother, and the world by being stupid enough to love a demon."

Buffy's tears fall silently. She doesn't sob, or scream. She just lets tears fall as she digests what Spike's plan had been. She is angry, and sad at the same time. Mostly, she feels a tremendous hole where her heart should have been. Buffy reaches out, and places her hand on Spike's knee.

Controlling her voice, Buffy says, "You're right it was a perfect plan. There's only one thing left to do."

Spike tenses under her touch, and her words. He can't believe what he is hearing. **The slayer wants me to kill her**

When Spike doesn't answer, Buffy screams, "Finish the God damn plan, Spike."

Spike vamps out, and yells, "NO."

"What kind of a demon are you? I want to die. There is nothing that can change what happened. I can't go on knowing what I have done, so please, if there is any part of you that cares now, or ever did, then kill me."

"I won't. I can't," Spike screams before tossing himself out of the car, and sprinting away.

Buffy gives chase, and tackles him. She shoves his head into the ground. Spike tosses her off of him, and tries to get up, but Buffy pulls him back down. She straddles him, and punches him repeatedly in the face.

"You coward. You fucking coward. Running away isn't the answer. You either finish the plan, or you love me. There is no other option," Buffy furiously yells.

Spike yanks her down into a hard kiss. His fangs rip her mouth, and tongue. He can taste her blood, and he savagely rips her mouth apart. He flips her over, and pins her down. He roughly yanks her pants down. Buffy raises her hands to undo his jeans, and frees him. Spike doesn't hesitate at all to begin slamming into her. He isn't gentle. He attacks her with hatred, anger, and love.

Buffy is scared, and excited at the same time. She can feel herself being pushed over the edge, and urges Spike on with her hips. She digs her nails into his scalp drawing blood. She feels his body tense before he explodes with a vicious animal like growl. He rips his mouth from hers, and sinks his fangs into her neck. **To kill this girl you have to love her.**

Buffy's body tenses. She can feel the blood disappearing from her body, and holds Spike's head possessively to her neck. **This is it. This moment is my life. I love demons, and in the end that love is going to kill me.** Buffy screams out his name as her orgasm shakes her from somewhere deep inside. Almost instantly she passes out.

Spike takes one last gulp before extracting his fangs. His demon vanishes, and he stares down at Buffy. Her eyes are closed, and a peaceful smiles on her lips. Spike lowers his head to her chest. He can hear a faint heartbeat. **She's going to die. She wanted to die. My love killed her.**

Spike quickly buttons his pants, and takes off in a sprint to the first phone he can find. He dials Buffy's number. Angel answers on the first ring. "You'll find her at the cemetery, by the gates. Hurry."

Spike slams the phone down, and runs back to the slayer. He checks her breathing. It hasn't changed. He quickly jumps into his car, and roars off. On his way out of town he takes out the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign.

*~*~*~*~*~*

EPILOGUE

Buffy slowly opens her eyes. She blinks a few times trying to orient herself. The white walls, and sanitized smell tell her she is in a hospital. She groans, and closes her eyes again.

She hates hospitals.

She feels someone squeeze her hand. "Honey, are you up?"

Buffy recognizes the voice of her mother, and opens her eyes again. She tries to answer, but her mouth is too dry to open.

"Xander get a doctor," Joyce orders.

Buffy hears the door open, and close. She tries to focus on the other voices. She recognizes Willow, and Giles instantly. They are both calling her name. She tries to move her head to look at them, but it is too painful.

The door opens again, and a man in a white coat stands over Buffy. "You are one lucky young lady."

Buffy smiles weakly.

"How do you feel," the doctor asks as he begins to examine her.

Buffy opens her mouth again, and in a raspy voice asks, "Water."

She hears someone scrambling around, and then Willow places a glass to her lips. She opens her mouth, and lets the liquid trickle in. When her thirst is sufficiently satisfied, she shakes her head, and the glass disappears.

"Are we ready to talk yet?" the doctor asks.

Buffy opens her mouth again, and says the only thing she has been thinking about. "Spike?"

You came so quickly
Right in and out of my life I didn't know they
came like that But did I ever tell you how much
I love to hold you I didn't know they came like that.
It doesn't really matter if I live or die
The only thing that matters is your by my side
No turning back from this world
I judged too quickly
I've never been good at trust I didn't know
they came like that But did I ever tell you how
much I love to love you I didn't know they came like that
It doesn't really matter if I live or die
The only thing that matters is your by my side
No turning back from this world
It's not that I don't want your love.
But I don't deserve your love.

The End

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