Chapter 9: Learning

Spike stood in the alley listening to Angel berating him as he lit a smoke.

"Are you finished?" Spike asked as he looked over Angel shoulder.

"Next time don't go charging in. Wait til I say we go. You scared him off." Angel spat out.

"Okay if your finished, duck." Spike said casually.

"What?" Angel asked.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Get down." Spike yelled as he swung his sword.

Angel ducked the deadly blow, barely, as the head of the deamon they were tracking fell to the ground beside him.

"Dammit Spike. You could've given me more warning." Angel said as he was coming to a standing position.

"I did. If you weren't busy trying to have a pissin contest with me you would've known he was there." Spike said as he threw the sword to Angel.

"I was not having a..." Angel started to say.

"Oh no. Look. I have my own way of doing things, you asked me to come and help, then you get pissed about the way I work. If you didn't want my help you shouldn't have asked." Spike said as he turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Angel asked.

"Out." Spike replied as he walked out of the alley.

Angel shook his head as he gripped the sword and started for home.

Spike wandered around the streets with no destination in mind.

When he turned the corner he stopped and stared at the woman standing in front of a store window a block down.

His breath caught as he looked at her face and took in all her curves.

Letting out a ragged breath, he turned and walked back in the opposite direction as his tears fell.

"God, she looked just like her. God I must be going insane. Now I'm seeing her." Spike chuckled slightly as he wiped a tear away and headed back to the hotel and into the solitude of his room.

When Spike sat down on his bed he looked over and saw a picture of Buffy on his night table.

Immediately he picked it up and traced the outline of her face.

"I had a few pictures. I thought you might like that one." Angel said quietly from the doorway.

"Thank you." Spike said quietly never tearing his eyes away from the picture.

Angel stood for a minute before quietly leaving Spike alone with his thoughts.

Spike laid down and drifted off to sleep with the picture embraced in his arms.

Buffy stood staring at her reflection in the store front window.

Her hair was brown and much longer now, coming down to her waist.

Her eyes didn't seem to match the rest of her youthful appearance.

When she looked into her own eyes, she didn't see youth shining through, she saw old.

Buffy shook her head. Buffy felt a familliar feeling wash over her. She turned to see someone standing on the corner down the street.

Buffy squinted trying to get a better look.

Her insides froze and her brain became muddled. The only thought in her mind was Spike. She saw him look at her then turn and walk away.

She wanted to yell out to him, but couldn't get her mouth to make a sound. When she was able to move again she ran to the corner and started in the direction he headed.

She stopped and looked around frantically but saw no one around.

She wiped a tear away and headed back in the direction of the store.

She quickly put on a smile when Faith and Dawn emerged from the store.

Faith looked at Buffy and knew something was off.

"Dammit. Hey kid, we forgot B's diet coke. Wanna run back in and get it." Faith said not really asking.

"Sure." Dawn smiled as she ran back into the store.

The minute Dawn was out of earshot Faith turned to Buffy.

"What happened?" Faith asked quietly.

"He was here." Buffy said whispering as a tear fell again.

"What do you mean he was here? That can't be possible." Faith said as she placed a hand on Buffy shoulder for support.

"I saw him down the street watching me. I felt him. When I went to him, he was gone." Buffy replied.

"You think maybe it was someone who looked similar to him? Maybe your seeing........"Faith started.

"What I want to see." Buffy finished. Buffy thought for a minute then nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right." Buffy said quietly.

"You know to love someone that much, who's been gone over two years, says something. If I could give him back to you, I would." Faith said quietly.

Buffy looked into Faiths eyes and smiled. Buffy enveloped her in a hug.

"I know you're not a huggy person. Deal." Buffy said as she felt Faith slowly return the hug.

They broke the embrace whenDawn came bounding out of the store with a bottle of diet coke.

"Here Buffy." She said thrusting the bottle to her sister.

"Thanks Dawnie." Buffy said taking the pop.

"I'm so glad you came to visit Buffy. It's been over two years. I know, hell mouth and all, but I hope you'll be able to come more often." Dawn said.

"You know hell mouths, they sleep for no one." Faith said.

"Well actually I haven't........" Buffy started.

"Had to slay alone this time around. Better with two of us, higher body count eh B." Faith said looking at Buffy.

"Yeah, better this time around." Buffy replied giving Faith a smile.

"Good. at least I know you're safer than before, both of you." Dawn said as she took a drink.

"We'd better get you back. We have to go catch our flight and head back." Faith said as the started walking towards the corner.

"Next time can you maybe stay a weekend instead of the day?" Dawn asked.

"We'll talk to Giles, I'm sure something can be done. And next time," Buffy looked at Faith and Dawn. "Shopping."

Faith and Dawn smiled.

"Good, dad gave me a credit card, wonder what the limit is." Dawn said. As the passed the corner Buffy took a last look down the street before she turned away .

Angel sat behinf the counter and looked up when he saw Lorne walk in.

"Hey sweetcheeks. How are things?" Lorne sais smiling as he approached the counter.

"Things are........different. Glad you kept in touch. Where have you been for the past year?" Angel asked.

"Hey I wrote. Sent postcards. Even called a couple of times." Lorne smiled.

"We never got any mail from you and no calls either." Angel said skeptically to Lorne.

"Okay so I forgot to mail them. I di write then though. No one actually answered when I called." Lorne said casually.

Angel smirked slightly.

"I've been travelling. I went to Canada and travelled from one side to the other. What a beautiful country. And they don't talk funny,,,,,well maybe the easterners. But they have this thing with ketchup. I don't know.it was good but not that good. I got to see all the differnt cultures there, and I saw my first pow wow. It was great." Lorne said sighing.

"Did I mention the mountains?"

Angel smiled. "Glad you had a good time. Listen there's something I have to tell you."

"Okay mate. Deamons dead. Jobs done. I'm going out." Spike said as he came strolling through the doors to put his weapon away.

"Hey, who's the blonde bombshell?" Lorne asked as he looked at Spike.

Spike looked back at Lorne as his brows drew together.

"Hey, I don't swing that way mate." Spike said pointedly.

Angel chuckled. "It's okay Spike. This is Lorne."
"The bloke that had the bar you were tellin me 'bout?" Spike asked.

"The same." Angel replied.

"This is Spike. The one Cordy and Wesley were telling me about?" Lorne asked.

Angel nodded.

"Hey, beleive everything they told you. It's probably all true." Spike said as he headed for the door.

"Look I'm headed for a drink. Want to join me?" Lorne asked.

Spike eyed him skeptically. "A drink only there mate."

"Wouldn't want it any other way." Lorne said as he headed for the door.

"Lorne I really need to talk to you." Angel said from behind them.

"Sure. Later kitten." Lorne replied.

Spike looked back at Angel and smiled. "Kitten. I've never heard anyone call you kitten before peaches." Spike said..

Spike was smiling. This is his first genuine smile since he came back. Of course it was at my expense, but a smile is a smile.

"How does karaoke sound to you?" Lorne said as they opened the door.

"Fine I s'pose." Spike replied as they stepped outside.

"Damn." Angel said grabbing his coat.

He ran to the doors. "I think I'll join you. Slow night anyway." Angel said as he closed the door with the phone ringing.

When Spike went to the bar to get a drink Angel turned to Lorne.

"If he sings, don't tell him what you see. I'll talk to you about it later. It's important."

Lorne looked at Angel curiously. "Alright, I won't say anything. But you better explain later.

"Hey I tried to but you wanted to come out here instead." Angel retorted.

Lorne looked away guiltily. He was just about to say a snappy comeback when Spike wandered over to the table and sat down.

Spike had barely sat down when a curvacous brunette came to stand beside him.

Spike looked and and nodded and turned back to his drink.

"Uh...hi. I'm Cassy. Would you maybe like to...uh." The girl stuttered.

"I'm very flattered pet, but I'm not available." Spike said quietly so she wouldn't be embarassed.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Cassy said.

"Nothing to be sorry for luv." Spike said as he took a drink from his beer.

Cassy smiled and walked back to her friends.

"Spike." Angel said softly. "It's not wrong to want........."
"I don't want. She's still here. She hasn't left me. I can feel her in my chest. Until the day comes that I can't feel her. I don't want." Spike said then drained his beer.

"So why don't you sing a song." Lorne prodded.

Spike raised hiseyebrows and smirked.

Angel rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Lorne sat there smiling at Spike.

"Alright mate. What should I sing?" Spike said as he took Angel drink and downed it.

"Anything you want sexy. The book is over there. Just pick one." Lorne said.

Spike nodded and got up and went over to the book.

Lorne looked at Angel who was glaring back at him.

"Just curious." Lorne said casually.

"Curiousity killed the cat remember.' Angel replied.

Spike wandered over to Lorne. "This one." Spike said pointing on the page in the book.

"Okay blondie. Get your cute butt ready. I'll announce you in a few." Lorne said.

Spike sat down as Lorne walked over to the man rinning the machine.

"You're really gonna do this." Angel said smiling.

Spike shrugged."Wouldn't be the first time I sang an impromptu number in front of a group." Spike said.

"Reall? When?" Angel asked.

"Deamon named Sweet got summoned to Sunnyhell. There was alot of singing and dancing."

"You danced?" Angel smiled even wider.

"No you poof. I sang." Spike retorted.

"What'd ya sing?" Angel asked still smiling.

"Nothing." Spike said as he drained Lorne's drink.

Spike got up and went to the stage when he heard his name announced.

Spike stepped up to the mike and began to sing on cue to the music.

"God can your boy ever belt out a torcher." Lorne said his eyes rivited to the stage.

Angel just watched as he saw all Spikes pent up emotions coming out.

' yeah I will love you baby

"Yeah, I think I'm really going to need to hear the explanation." Lorne said as he looked over to Angel.

"I know. " Angel replied.

"Why can't I tell him what I see. It's nothing bad." Lorne insisted.

"Not hear. Later when he 's sleeping." Angel said turning back to Spike ending the conversation.

Spike set the mike down and slowly made his way back to the table. Ignoring the come on looks from the women as he sat down.

Spike took Angels drink and slammed it down again.

"As fun as this was kiddies, I think I'm gonna head back to the hotel." With a nod he left Lorne and Angel sitting there.

Angel and Lorne watched his back as he walked out the door in to the night.

"So, explain." Lorne said as he motioned for the waitress to bring some more drinks.

Angel took a deep breath. Then he took a long drink.

"Come on out with it. Quit stalling." Lorne said.

Angel looked at his drink then back to Lorne.

Lorne sat there quietly listening to every detail of what's happened in the past year.

Lorne sat back in his chair as Angel finished.

"And I', the one who has to keep them apart. He has to think she's dead, and vise versa." Angel spat out.

"Wow. That's gotta really suck. The powers have their reasons, we may not like them, or understand them, but they're there. You kinda have to go along with it." Lorne replied.

Angel just snorted and drained his glass.

"He smiled tonight. Back at the hotel before we left." Angel said.

"Yeah." Lorne looked at him curiously.

"It's the first time he's smiled since he returned." Angel said as he rose from the table.

Angel made his way back to the hotel just in time to answer the phone.

"Angel Investigations." Angel said quietly.

"Faith. It's rather late. Why are you up?" Angel asked.

Angel smiled and started to chuckle.

Buffy and Faith strolled through some of Central Park while on Patrol.

"Oh. I called Dawn this morning. She's doing good. She's excited that we're coming down for an entire week. She's got the mall on the brain. Which is good, cause you know the mall, no downside to that." Buffy said as Faith staked the that jumped out of the bushes. The vamp never even had a chance to growl.

"Is it me, or are the vamps here lame. I mean this is a hell mouth, but these vamps sure don't measure up do they?" Faith said a little downtrodden.

"Nah, they seem lamer. But don't worry Faith I'm sure we'll run a cross a deamon any minute that'll send Giles into research mode." Buffy said as they scanned the desrted park.

"Right. Sure B." Faith said rolling her eyes.

"Well......it could happen." Buffy said quietly.

They finished their patrol , without another incident and went back to their apartment.

"I'm guessing patrol was uneventful." Giles said as he looked at the bored expressions on their faces.

"One vamp." Faith said disgustedly.

"Didn't even get to work up an appetite. If I ate now, after no slay it would just be......wrong." Buffy said as she took off her jacket.

"Hey B. It's still early, wanna go out some where?" Faith asked.

Buffy hesitated for a few minutes. But saw the look of disappointment start to fall over Faiths features.

"Okay. I'll just go change." Buffy said as she moved up the stairs, her heart was pounding in her chest loudly.

Buffy sat on her bed for a few minutes staring at her closet. She had a large wardrobe from the frequent trips to LA to visit Dawn. But other than patrol she still hadn't actually gone out.

She rummaged through her clothes and settled on black jeans and black tank top with a lace shirt.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She ran her finger through her dark hair.

"You have to go on living....so one of us is living." Buffy said to herself as she took a final look and went downstairs to meet Faith.

"When was the last time you went dancing?" Faith asked as they stepped into the club.

"I don't know. Not since before the first." Buffy replied.

"Well it's been three years since then, and I'm guessing awhile before that. Damn B. That's along time. C'mon." Faith said as she grabbed Buffy's hand and pulled her out onto the dance floor.

After a few minutes of awkwardness Buffy began to sway to the music.

Eventually losing herself in the beat.

After awhile Buffy left the the dance floor and wandered over to the bar to get a drink.

Faith looked over to see Buffy talking with a guy. "Alright B." Faith said to herself. Then she noticed Buffy shake her head and start to walk away. Then she saw the guy grab her arm not letting her leave. She saw that look come over Buffys face. *shit*. Faith quickly went over to Buffy.

"Problem B." Faith asked as she looked at the guy.

"Someone doesn't seem to understand. no really means no." Buffy replied.

"Really." Faith looking the guy over.

"Is that a fact." A couple of men came up behind Buffy and Faith. "When a woman says no, it's no asshole." One man said as the two men grabbed him and dragged him outside.

"Wow, there really are some gentlemen in the world." Faith said.

" I think I'm gonna call it a night." Buffy said.

"Yeah, me too." Faith said as they headed to the exit.

The two men stepped back through the door.

"Are you going to be alright? Can we buy you a drink? I'm Gary." The one man said.

"Nice to meet you Gary, but we're gonna go. Thanks anyways." Buffy replied smiling.

"Would you like us to walk you two home?" Gary asked.

"I think we can take care of ourselves." Faith replied.

The two men nodded. "Maybe we'll see you again sometime."

"Yeah maybe." Faith said as they walked out of the bar.

"They were fine B. Two hotties, and nice to boot. What more could a girl ask for." Faith said as they made their way down the street.

"Yeah they were cute. Okay gorgeous. But I'm not interested. If you are, you could have stayed." Buffy said.

"Nah. You see one gorgeous guy, you seen 'em all." Faith answered. "It's been over three years Buffy. You have to move on sometime." Faith said quietly.

"I know. I am moving forward. I...I'm just not ready for that yet." Buffy said looking at Faith. "When I'm ready for that, I'll let you know."

Faith nodded a reply as the strolled slowly home.