The Happyverse Series
Chapters 4-6


Written by: Jodyorjen

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Summary: Spike and Buffy getting married? Xander and Anya expecting? Dawn in trouble...again? Tune into a year of holidays with our wackily dysfuctional Scoobies.
Spoilers: Wrecked and all before it. Goes on it's merry way after that.
Distribution: Please ask my permission first, just so I know where it's headed.
Disclaimer: All hail Joss Whedon, UPN, the WB, FOX , Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. Theirs not mine.
Author's Note: First in the Happyverse series. Stands alone. Prequel to "Holiday Cheer". A touch of angst with the happy. Lyrics by Ira Gershwin are used without permission.
Feedback: Sure, fire away to jodyorjen@yahoo.com

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~~Rum & Cookies~~


Spike leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, relishing the sight before him.

Buffy sang along to the tinny little radio that was belting out "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" as she flipped cookies onto racks to cool. The kitchen counters were covered with wire racks, mixing bowls, and pastry tubes of frosting. She had a red Santa hat perched on her head. Buffy was wearing Joyce's special Christmas apron, a hideous confection of red and green gingham accented with rows of tinsel trim.

As she pirouetted back around to the oven she caught a glimpse of Spike out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey honey! Did you get all the stuff?"

Spike held out the box and bags in his hands for her inspection.

"Why did you buy so much rum?"

Spike raised his eyebrows at her.

"Two words: Xander. Anya. Any questions?"

Buffy glared at him.

"You are going to be very, very nice tonight, aren't you? It's Christmas Eve."

Spike put the box and shopping bags down on the floor and grabbed Buffy around the waist.

"The only way that I am going to be very nice for you is if you are very nice to me. Whatcha going to do for me, Slayer?"

He nuzzled her neck as his hands slid up her chest.

She moaned, pressing harder against his mouth. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she pressed herself against him.

They ignited. Spike ripped off the stupid Santa hat and grabbed the back of Buffy's head. He kissed her deeply and thoroughly. Buffy threw him off balance and they both fell to the floor.

Spike started pulling off her jeans and flipping up the apron.

"Want you- need you-"

Buffy lay back on the floor, eyes closed, breathing hard.

Just as Spike succeeded in getting her pants off, the oven timer buzzed.

"The cookies! My cookies!" She tried to sit up, but Spike was having none of it.

"Screw the bleeding cookies," he growled.

"They'll burn," she pled, as he tried to unlock her knees.

"I don't give a bloody damn," he said. "I have a sweet little cookie right here."

Flustered and irritated, she pulled her apron down. He pulled it up. Down. Up. Down.

"Let me turn the oven off and we can go upstairs."

"I don't want to go upstairs. I want to shag you, right here, right now. On the kitchen floor, in your precious little apron, with sodding Christmas tunes playing in the background, alright?"

Buffy's eyes lit up with anger and her jaw clenched.

Uh oh, thought Spike. Now I've done it.

"You are ruining Christmas!" she yelled.

She threw him off and marched over to the stove.

"If you burned my cookies, I am going to kick your ass!"

Spike figured that at this point a hasty retreat was in order. He booked it down to the basement.

Buffy failed to notice that the case of rum went with him.

Down in the basement, Spike paced back and forth. A licorice twist hung out of the corner of his mouth as he spoke into the cordless phone.

"Hello? Sharon? Yes, this is William Walthrop. I need an arrangement sent over here pronto. Yeah, stuck my foot in my mouth again. What kind of thing will she like? Something bursting with holiday cheer. Greens, pinecones, forest type stuff. Hell if I know. That's your bit. Card? The same as usual. Yep, put it on the tab. Appreciate you doing this so close to closing time. Thanks."

Hanging up the phone, he stopped, closed his eyes, and exhaled loudly and unnecessarily.

"Right then."

Flopping down on the couch, he looked around the room.

Sitting on the coffee table were a bunch of snacks and toys that Buffy had bought him to give him something to do when he got the urge to smoke.

Licorice sticks. Rubik's Cube. Juicy Fruit gum. A Game Boy. Pixie Sticks. Silly Putty. A thousand piece puzzle of Big Ben.

Within easy reach, over on the floor- a nice case of rum.

Tough choice.

Getting completely pissed because his fiancée had lost her mind to holiday insanity?

It was highly tempting.

Playing with the Rubik's cube?

Infinitely more likely to lead to snogging with Buffy later.

God, he was whipped.

Sticking another Twizzler in his mouth, he concentrated on getting all those little blue squares on the same damn side.

Buffy came down the basement stairs carrying a large evergreen centerpiece brimming with roses, candles, and pinecones.

"Spike?"

She peered around the corner and saw him crashed out on the couch. The Rubik's cube was dismantled on the table, lying on the empty bag of licorice.

Placing the centerpiece gently on the floor, Buffy crawled on top of her sweetheart, resting her head underneath his chin. She snuggled on top of him, cherishing the smell and feel of him.

He stirred underneath her.

"Buffy?"

He blinked down at her, looking sleepy and feline. A lazy smile crossed his face as he pulled her up and kissed her. Gently, delicately they embraced, every gesture a testament to the depth of their feelings.

He broke away from the kissing to murmur, "I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the arse. I didn't mean to upset you."

She looked up at him, smiling. She smoothed his hair with her hand as she spoke.

"I'm sorry I'm so snarly. I just want things to go well. I want a Merry Christmas and I can't wait to tell everyone that we are getting married."

He sat up and arranged her on his lap so that they were snuggled together.

"I really think we should tell the niblet before we tell everyone else."

"Well, I think it will be more fun to tell everyone all at once. Of course, Willow and Tara are going to their Yule thing and they won't be here. And I'll have to call Giles, which should be a really interesting conversation. So I guess I don't actually know what I want to do."

He held her hand, his fingers running over the diamond solitaire she had accepted the night before.

"Well, whatever you want, baby. Six of one, half dozen of the other."

He held her tightly, and she felt tears dripping on her neck.

When she turned around to look at him, he had tears shining in his eyes.

"I am one lucky bloke, Slayer. I can't believe that you really want to marry me."

Straddling him, she leaned over and bit his neck. He growled and leaned his head back. She scraped the flesh of his neck, biting harder and harder until he was writhing underneath her, barely restrained by her hold on his waist.

Huskily, she whispered, "Guess I'll just have to show you, then."

She pulled off her clothes and threw them on the floor as Spike hurried out of his pants. Unable to wait any longer, she thrust herself on top of him. He slipped inside her, more than ready, stiff with need. They both moaned at the intensity of the sensation they had created together. Slowly, she moved on top of him. She watched him as he struggled to contain his orgasm, his head whipping back and forth wildly as he bit down hard on his bottom lip. Wanting to break his control, needing him to melt for her, she slipped her hands underneath his sweater and scratched her nails hard down his chest. With a pained noise, his focus snapped as he grabbed her hips and thrust up into her, screaming her name. Buffy crashed, shattering all around him, feeling dizzy with the rush of her release. Slumping forward, she lay on his chest, basking in the afterglow.

She whispered in his ear.

"I love you, William."

He smiled sweetly down at her, kissing her forehead.

"Love you, honey. You know, I like the making up. Let's skip the fighting part next time."

She got up and put on her clothes.

She held out her hand. "Up time, lazybones. I need you to make the eggnog and help finish icing the cookies. Plus, we need to get dressed up."

She peered down at her tiny gold wristwatch.

"We have an hour and fifteen minutes before Willow drops off Dawn. Come on, Mr. Pokey."

Spike pulled himself together and followed Buffy up the stairs, toting the case of rum and the centerpiece.

Put a collar on me, Spike thought, I've been domesticated. Buffy had dressed him in a red sweater with snowflakes on it. He hadn't said a word. Now here he sat, icing cookies. Holding a pastry bag, he put the finishing touches on a Santa Claus. Looking around to see if Buffy was nearby, he drew in tiny fangs. He smiled at his handiwork. He wondered if anyone had ever tried to turn Santa Claus. He shook his head. Of course not, Santa Claus wasn't real. He took a sip from his mug of blood. Looking thoughtful, he took an unfrosted cookie and dipped it in the blood. Mmm, yummy. Dipping away, he finished off the cookie and downed the last of the blood. Taking a gingerbread man off the rack, Spike switched pastry bags. He outlined the little man in white frosting, drawing in his face and tiny buttons down his front. He had gotten better at this in the last week or so.

A rush of chilly air came into the house as Dawn came in the kitchen door. She launched herself at Spike. The pastry tube whipped in the air and a big blob of frosting fell on the cookie's head.

"Dawn! Look what you made me do to my gingerbread man!"

The girl laughed at Spike's crestfallen expression.

"That makes the top five list of "Things Evil Vampires Should Never Say".

Dawn tapped Spike on the shoulder. He turned to her, still distracted by the cookie trauma.

"So? I'm dying here! What happened after I left?"

He looked at her, mischief in his eyes.

"Can't tell you, bit. Sworn to secrecy."

"Spike! You have to tell me. I'm dying here. Please? Please?"

Dawn bounced up and down, brimming with excitement.

Buffy walked into the kitchen. She looked beautiful, wearing diamond studs in her ears and a red halter dress.

"Dawnie, what are you pestering Spike about now? I told you the pierced tongue thing was out of the question."

"Are you guys going to get married or what? I deserve to know. I've been a member of the family longer than he has!"

Buffy opened her mouth and Dawn shrieked. She ran over to Buffy and grabbed her hand.

"You're wearing it! You're wearing the ring!"

Dawn pulled Buffy over to the table and grabbed Spike out of his chair. The three of them joined in a big happy hug. They embraced one another, tears glinting in the eyes of each one.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Xander, standing in the doorway looking seriously perplexed.

Dawn broke out of the group hug and pulled Xander into one.

"It's so great! Spike and Buffy are getting married!"

Xander looked green around the gills.

"Getting married? Wait, this is déjà vu all over again. A spell-"

Spike strode over and pulled Xander away from Dawn. His hand clamped the back of Xander's neck firmly.

He whispered very softly in Xanders' ear. "Say one thing to burst her bubble, or say anything to upset Buffy, and I will snap you like a twig. Chip be damned."

Looking into Spike's face, Xander knew that he was deadly serious.

Point made, Spike broke into a big goofy smile.

"Right then. Let's have some eggnog. I made it with lots and lots of rum."

Xander sighed.

"Pour me a tankard. While you're at it, grab the bottle of rum and a couple of shot glasses too."

Spike thumped him on the back.

"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, mate."

Bearing the bottle, some glasses, and the nog, they tromped on down to the basement.

Anya wandered into the kitchen wearing a green sweater and slacks. The sweater had a large Christmas tree on it, complete with metal ornaments and blinking electrical lights. Fabric barrettes shaped like holly adorned her blonde hair. She looked a little pasty.

"Hi Buffy, hi Dawn. I was just sick in your bathroom. I keep getting all pukey."

Buffy looked concerned.

"Do you want to sip on some ginger ale or something?"

"No, I'll be alright. I think that Xander knocked me up, actually. I've peed on a bunch of those little sticks and they all turned blue. But I won't go to the doctor until next week. So Xander told me that I shouldn't talk about it today, since we don't know yet."

Floored, Buffy tried to think up an appropriate response.

Anya spied the Christmas cookies on the platter on the table. Dawn sat in a chair, munching away at a snowman.

"That would be cool if you had a baby, Anya. I could baby-sit, " said Dawn.

"Ooh, cookies! Shaped like little men."

Anya picked up a Santa Claus and bit off his head.

"The cannibalistic overtones of eating little people shaped confections is deeply fascinating," said Anya.

She peered at Buffy's hand.

"Hey! You are wearing a very valuable diamond on your finger."

She walked over to where Buffy was standing and grabbed her hand, the diamond inches from her nose.

"Wow! That's some sparkler. Looks like a two-carat, bezel set, G color, S1 clarity, brilliant cut diamond in a platinum setting you got there. From the style of the band, I'd say Sunnydale Diamonds."

Anya wrinkled up her face.

"Why do you have an engagement ring? And why is it better than mine?"

Buffy decided to skip the latter question and focus on the former.

"Spike and I are getting married."

Anya looked confused and then gave Buffy a patronizing smile.

"I'm sorry, Buffy, but you can't get married."

Buffy looked irritated and crossed her arms.

"What are you talking about, Anya?"

Anya spoke very slowly and carefully, as one might speak to a very small child or a homicidal maniac.

"Xander asked me to marry him. I am the engaged girl! I am the bride. If there's more than one bride, it's not special."

Buffy attempted to soothe her.

"Anya-"

But Anya was beyond soothing.

"I'm special. No one else is getting married! No one! Willow and Tara can't get married, and aren't all back together yet anyway. Spike is a big dead cootie and you're going to die young because you're a slayer and all that. Dawn can't get married legally in this state yet. Giles is in England and no one wants his old sorry ass anyway. It's my moment to shine! You're ruining my happy day!"

Buffy had reached the end of her rope.

"It's all about you, is it? I'm the one that has to save the world. I'm the one that gets to do all the monster fighting. I had the whole coming back from the dead thing. I deserve a little happiness, too. You're a selfish brat!"

Anya looked like she was going to cry, but Buffy was on a roll.

"I hope you are pregnant. I hope you're pregnant with twins! When I'm walking down the aisle, looking all beautiful and radiant, you'll be waddling down the aisle like a great big pumpkin!"

Anya broke down in tears, collapsing in a kitchen chair. Her great, racking sobs filled the room. Dawn and Buffy stared at each other.

"Apologize," Dawn hissed between her teeth. "That was really rude, Buffy!"

"I'm gonna be fat!" Anya wailed, sobbing away.

"I'm sorry, Anya. I didn't mean it. I'm sure that if you're pregnant, you'll be all pretty and not so fat. You'll be a beautiful bride. Spike and I aren't planning on a big wedding thing anyway. Don't feel all competitive. Please stop crying. I'm so, so sorry."

Anya looked up, her eyes red.

"You promise my wedding will be nicer than yours? It'll look more expensive?"

Buffy patted her shoulder.

"I promise, Anya. My wedding will be insignificant next to yours. It will be thrifty and small, cross my heart."

Dawn handed Anya a tissue and she blew her nose.

"Well, okay then."

They all gathered in the basement, sitting around the large television that Spike had bought when they turned the basement into a family room. Cookies, snacks, sodas and a large punch bowl filled with eggnog sat on a folding table pushed against the wall. Spike and Buffy snuggled in his recliner as Xander and Anya relaxed on the couch. Dawn stood next to the television, waving the DVD of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas in the air.

"Okay so what you do is, when anyone says "Who", you have to take a drink."

"Dawnie," said Buffy," you can't drink Spike's eggnog. It has rum in it."

Dawn rolled her eyes and pointed at her Coke on the coffee table.

"I don't think you can drink it either, Slayer. My eggnog has enough rum in it to get you drunk just by smelling it. You're a toddling lightweight when it comes to liquor. You'll be three sheets to the wind fifteen minutes into the bloody picture. Right after that, you'll be asleep and drooling." Spike spoke very distinctly, a sure sign that he was well on his way to being smashed.

Buffy turned to look at Spike.

"I do not drool. Not ever. Besides, I'm not that much of a lightweight. Eggnog's not a serious alcohol drink. It's a light, fluffy, holiday beverage."

Spike raised his eyebrows at her.

"You got all tipsy last night on a half glass of champagne, love. Be reasonable. Eggnog's got a ton of sugar in it to cut the bite, but it hits hard. You couldn't get through a glass of the stuff and walk."

Buffy pressed her nose into his.

"Wanna bet?"

Spike smirked at her.

"I think Cindy Lou Who could drink more eggnog than you."

Xander, Dawn, and Spike laughed. Buffy looked irritated. Anya looked blank.

"Okay, Lucy and Ricky, I'm starting the movie now. Everyone get your tasty adult beverages," said Dawn.

Spike poured himself and Buffy heaping full glasses of eggnog. Xander poured himself one, grabbing a can of ginger ale for Anya.

"What's the matter, Demon Girl? Afraid to try my kick ass nog?" asked Spike.

"Xander won't let me indulge in alcohol because he fears what it may do to our fetus."

Xander smacked himself in the forehead while Spike looked immensely amused.

"Harris! You git! You of all people a dad-"

Catching the looks he was getting from Buffy and Dawn, he changed direction on that one.

"Congratulations! That's really- neat."

They all settled down with their drinks. Xander and Anya looked at each other, smiled into each other's eyes, and held hands. Buffy settled back on Spike's lap, his hand wrapped around her waist. Dawn flopped on her stomach in front of the television.

As the ending credits rolled, Dawn turned back to look at the sleeping couples. Buffy and Spike slept wrapped around each other like kittens, tucked tightly into each other. Xander and Anya were spooned around each other on the couch, his hand resting protectively over her abdomen. Dawn tossed throw blankets over each couple and turned out the light.

In the living room, Dawn watched the lights blinking on the Christmas tree. They reflected onto all the brightly wrapped gifts under the tree. Sitting on the couch, she pulled back the curtain and looked up into the dark night sky. Clear and sparkling, a star shone brightly, twinkling down at her. She thought of Spike and Buffy, and how much they loved her and each other. They were really going to be a family. Looking up at the star, she whispered "Thank you." Dawn had received her Christmas miracle.




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~~Brave New Year~~


Spike hummed as he puttered around the bedroom. A muted TV on the dresser showed footage of fireworks displays from different countries celebrating the New Year. “Baby? “ he called out. “Do you know where my vest is?”

Buffy wandered in from the bathroom, wearing her terry robe. Her damp hair curled around her shoulders.

“There’s a zippered pocket on the tuxedo bag. It’s in there. So are the cufflinks.” She stopped to admire her fiancé as he poked around in the bag, which lay on the bed. Spike was focused on fastening his cuff links, fussing with the small silver pieces. Pulling his jacket on, he shot his cuffs and grinned at Buffy.

“Posh enough for you, love?” he asked. He looked perfect in his tuxedo, absolutely good enough to eat.

Then she got a good look at his feet. ”You are so not wearing those scrungy boots.” Buffy said firmly.

He gave her an exasperated look and pulled a pair of dress shoes out of the bag. “Look at these things,” he said as he waved the opera pumps in her direction. “You can’t be serious.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. ”They are appropriate. They are elegant. Not seeing the problem here.”

“They are slip-ons. They are patent leather. I am not wearing these nancy boy shoes.”

Buffy smirked. “Want to bet?”

Spike crossed his arms and glared at her. “There is nothing you can say that would change my mind on this, sweets.”

She leaned in close to him and licked his cheekbone, tracing it gently all the way down to his jaw. Her tongue trailed down, making wide circles on the side of his neck. “Wasn’t planning on talking, William,” she said sultrily.

He sighed, his eyes fluttering shut. “I’m –“ he swallowed. ”I’m quite- firm on this, love.”

Buffy grabbed his cock through his pants. He gasped with pleasure. She held him firmly, stroking up and down. She peered up at him coyly. “Quite firm.”

Spike moaned, thrusting hard into her hand. “Oh, sweet fuck. That feels so good.” She leaned him back on the bed, working open his belt buckle. “Yes,” he pled, his voice tinged with desperation. “ Wait, no, we have to get going,” he says as he pulls her hands off the belt.

Buffy kissed him passionately, opening the belt and releasing his cock. She works him in her hand with long firm strokes while she teases his nipple through his shirt. “They’ll wait. I won’t,” she said breathlessly. Overwhelmed by her blatant need, Spike responded. Pulling her on top of him, he cupped her breasts and bit her neck. She moved her hand faster until he was desperate. He touched her everywhere he could with his hands and mouth, whipped into frenzy. Buffy slid his pants down his legs. “I don’t want to mess up your sexy clothes, Spike,” she said, as she leaned down.

He grabbed her wrists and yanked her back up. He gazed up at her, eyes smoky with lust. “Not that way. I need to be inside you. Got to take you. Need you now,” he growled. He pulled open her robe and plunged into her. He took both her wrists in his powerful grip. He used the leverage to tilt her back until the angle was impossibly deep and intense. They both howled, slaves to the need that had overcome them. Their bodies slapped together furiously, both of them thrusting furiously. The four-poster bed shuddered and shook as it scraped across the floor. Raw, primal noises escaped from their throats as they moved with primal intensity. They came at the same time, voices joined in release. Kissing gently, they murmured endearments to each other as they came back down to earth.

“I am so in love with you,” she whispered.

“You are my sweet darling girl,” he purred, stroking her hair.

Spike and Buffy walked into the Bronze hand in hand, both glowing with happiness and contentment. They made a striking couple, both decked out in black formalwear. They wandered over to the table where their friends waited.

“What took you guys so long?” complained Xander, dressed in a sharp pinstripe suit.

“Well, Dawn was out of the house so I just had to jump his bones before we left,” explained Buffy, with a teasing glint in her eye. “I really like this little noise that he makes when I-“ Xander looked disgusted.

“Just a little sex talk payback,” she explained. “You and Anya earned some of that.” She smiled, and so did he knowing it’s true.

“Can I get you a drink?” he asked.

‘I’m good,” said Buffy. He turned and walked to the bar.

Willow smiled happily. ”Great. She – ah- slept over last night.” She smiled, with eyes that sparkled.

Spike slapped her on the shoulder. “Good for you, ducks.”

“I was thinking about asking her if we could get a place together in June when school lets out,” said Willow.” I’m trying not to rush things, but it’s hard.”

Spike looked thoughtful. “Well, Buffy and I are in your old room, but Buffy’s old bedroom is free.”

Buffy snapped to attention. “But we’re turning it into a nursery.”

Willow looked confused and Spike drew his finger across his throat, shaking his head at Buffy.

“A nursery?” asked Willow. “Is there something I’m missing here? Cause I thought vampires had the whole safe sex thing going on. Unless Spike’s been drinking the Elixir of Gordath, but then…”

Spike grabbed Willow and pulled her backwards onto the dance floor. “C’mon, Red, let’s get a groove on.” She gave him a weird look, but followed him.

Buffy looked confused. Xander came back to the table, drink in hand, and sat beside Buffy.

Spike hissed in Willow’s ear as he pulled her into his arms on the dance floor. “Don’t tell Buffy about the Elixir.”

Willow looked up at him, her eyes dark with concern. “Spike, you can’t be thinking of drinking the elixir. Terrible things could happen-“

He looked down at her, features tight with anxiety. “Only to me. I’m willing to risk it, for her sake. It would make her so happy. So please just forget it came up. Please.”

Willow looked worried. “You can’t just hide the truth from her, Spike. And you can’t take these kinds of risks with magic. There are so many ways for things to turn out wrong.” She looks pensive. “Take my word on it.”

“I know there are consequences,” said Spike intently. “There always are. But there are some risks that are worth taking.”

Xander and Buffy watched Spike and Willow on the dance floor. “Gosh, those two crazy kids are really pushing the envelope on New Year’s frivolity,” said Xander.

Buffy turned to Xander. “I’m sure they’ll get it sorted out. So how is Anya doing these days?”

“Well, she’s all wigged about getting fat. But she is so excited about the baby,” he said.

“How about the wedding plans?” Buffy took a carrot stick off Willow’s plate.

‘We pushed up the date to March. Everything is pretty much set now.” Xander fiddled with his swizzle stick.

“Crossed all your “I”’s and dotted your “T”’s?” Buffy frowned. “I mean-“

“Yep, we have liftoff,” he says, sounding depressed.

She gave him a searching look. “Are you nervous about all this?”

He took a big swig off the drink in his hand. “Well, I was nervous when I proposed. I was anxious when she accepted. Now that she’s pregnant…I am completely terrified,” he admitted.

He gave her a concerned glance. “Are you really going through with this- Spike thing?”

“Do you mean am I really going to marry the man that I proposed to? Um, yeah.” She made a face at him.

“What about Dawn? What kind of impression do you think it makes on her? And he’s not really an advantage. He doesn’t even have a job,” argued Xander.

“Starting next week, he’s teaching two English classes at UC Sunnydale,” announced Buffy proudly.

Xander laughs. “Yeah, right. Like they would hire Spike to…” Seeing her serious face, he stopped laughing as he saw she was serious. “But how?“

“He earned a degree from Oxford, Xander. He knows more than you can even begin to imagine about English literature. You should hear the stuff he’s putting together on Hamlet. It’s brilliant.”

“Huh?” said Xander in disbelief. “So they’re just going to not notice the being dead for a hundred years thing?”

“Angel finessed the paper trail so that it looks like he got his degree ten years ago, not a hundred and ten,” explained Buffy. He put the records in place so that Spike has doctoral credentials that check out legitimately.”

“Why would Angel help him?” said Xander curiously.

“Because Angel wants me to be happy. Just like I wish him well. We’re still friends,” said Buffy.

‘I want you to be happy, too, Buffy.” Xander sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I just don’t want you to make any hasty decisions. It’s no fun to wonder if you’ve made the right choices.” He looked out on the dance floor at Anya..

Buffy gave him a knowing look. “You love Anya, and you are going to be a great father. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You just need to trust in it. You and Anya are not your mom and dad.”

He gave her a small smile. “I know, really. But the fear monster, it is running me down.”

She grabbed his hand. ‘Well, let him chase you down on the dance floor then.” They smile at each other, and move into the crowd of excited people.

Spike, Anya and Tara moved to the music. Anya and Tara shook their hair and hips, while Spike did a bump and grind in the middle. “This is really fun,” said Tara, her face flushed.

“Almost as fun as sex,” said Anya as she grinned. “But nearly as sweaty.”

They all cracked up. A slow number came on, and they looked at each other uncertainly. Spike grabbed them both around the waist and moved them to the music. “I’ve been known to satisfy two woman at once,” he said sultrily.

Anya laughed, looking over at the witch. “Yeah, Tara. The Clan of Aurelius, boy, there’s a kinky bunch. I heard about this one time…”

Willow appeared with two flutes of champagne. Tara looked relieved and gave Willow a warm kiss. They moved into each other’s arms as they drank and danced.

Anya snaked her arms around Spike’s neck, and looked up at him. “I wish I could have champagne,” she sulked.

‘Do you want me to get you some sparkling cider? Club soda? Juice?” asked Spike helpfully.

She smiled. “Buffy’s training you right. Very mannerly.”

“I aim to please,” he said saucily as he bent her backward in an enthusiastic, deep dip.

As he brought her back up, he noticed the hand over her mouth and the olive tinge of her skin.

“I’m going to be sick,” she murmured as she rushed away.

“I’m sorry, love, “ he called after her, “didn’t mean to…” He turned around and bumped into Xander and Buffy. “There’s something wrong with Anya,” he explained to Xander, concerned.

‘What happened?” said Xander, panicked.

“I was dancing with her and she said that she was sick and ran away. I think she was going to go heave,” said Spike.

The tension left Xander’s face. “That’s normal, Spike. She has morning sickness because of the pregnancy. Only for her, its more like around the clock sickness.”

Buffy handed Spike a flute of champagne. ‘It’s perfectly fine, Spike. Every woman goes through it.”

He looked at her thoughtfully. “It must be hard on you, though, Xander. Watching the woman you love suffer like that.”

Xander smiled. “It is, but she says it’s worth it. She never thought that it would be her, that she would have a child of her own. It means everything to her.”

Spike turned his head to look at Buffy, but found her eyes were already on him. He took her hand, kissing her knuckles.

The emcee came out onto the stage. “Okay everybody! It’s one minute until the ball drops, so grab your bubbly and your honey!”

The noise level in the club rose as everyone prepared for the countdown. Buffy popped a paper top hat on Spike’s head and crowned herself with a plastic jeweled tiara. Willow handed Tara a noisemaker, throwing a ring of colored beads around her neck. Anya returned bearing two glasses of ginger ale. Xander took his glass and kissed his fiancée on the head, pulling her close as she sipped her drink.

“This is it folks!” screamed the emcee into the microphone. “Out with the old and in with the new!” Everyone cheered, the din so loud it filled the huge space. The crowd screamed along with the emcee as he counted down. ‘Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” The band burst into ‘Auld Lang Syne.”

The friends turned to each other and clinked glasses. “Happy New Year,” they toasted. They drained their glasses. “May it be the best one ever,” yelled Tara. Willow smiled as she pulled her in for a long, slow lip lock.

Spike drew in Buffy close to him. “This year, you’ll be my bride. It will definitely be the best year ever,” he whispered as he brushed his lips to hers.

Xander stared into Anya’s eyes. “I am the luckiest guy in the world,” he said, rubbing his hand over her stomach. She brought her lips gently to his.

The three couples kissed, lost in each other, as showers of sparkling confetti rained down from the ceiling.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


~~Unexpected~~


The front row of the lecture hall was filled with girls. They were decked out in low cut sweaters, silky dresses and tight jeans. Faces perfectly made up, the scent of their perfumes overpowered the room. They gazed straight ahead, eyes glazed, checks flushed. On the desk in front of them sat Spike, legs splayed wide open. His left hand held open a large literature textbook. He gestured wildly with his other hand as he read. “If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for thy dowry: be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny.” He stopped and peered over the book. Glancing over, he checked the seating chart. “Miss- Brooks, can you define calumny?”

A purple haired girl decked out in black stood up in the middle section, smoothing her skirt. Nervously, she wrung her hands. “Um- calumny is defined-“ her voice cracked as she continued, “defined as the act of slander. Um, saying disparaging things about another’s reputation.”

He grinned at her broadly. “Spot on. Exactly. So what Hamlet is threatening here, is that even if Ophelia plays the virgin for her hypothetical husband, she will be revealed as the opposite. What would Hamlet’s motivation be for saying this?” He looked up and scanned the room, seeing only downcast eyes. “Sexual jealousy,” he said, answering his question.

He stopped and pointed his finger in the air. “It’s all about sex!” Spike declared passionately. “The whole gist of this dialogue. The passion between these two. The way they interact. Can’t you feel the undercurrent of thwarted desire in their exchange?” The underclassmen nodded in unison, murmuring their assent.

“Ophelia, the bint, has broken it off with Hamlet. He’s had her, has known her carnally, or he wouldn’t have any ammunition against her. He tells her that he loved her, than turns around and denies that he ever did. But then he says-“ He looked down and found the passage he was looking for. “Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. “ Spike put the book down on the table and crossed his arms. “How do you turn a man into a monster?” he asked the class.

A petite blond girl in the first row raised her hand. “Hurt him?”

“Right!” Spike exclaimed. “She hurt him! Why does he care if she marries another man? Why would he care if she is chaste or not? Because she broke his heart.” He thumped his fist down on the desk, shaking it. “That’s how you make a monster from a man. Take away meaning, take away feelings, take away hope. Ophelia has denied the man, and brought forth the monster.”

Spike began to pace back and forth. Every woman in the room, and a few of the men, turned their head, following his form as he strode. “Now, as we discussed last week, much controversy has taken place over the centuries in terms of the relationship between Ophelia and Hamlet. Many critics have argued that the relationship was a platonic one, while others have voiced the opposite. Next week we’ll screen selections from Olivier’s film, which supports a platonic relationship, and Branagh’s, which graphically supports a sexual one. I’ll let you form your own opinions on the subject, but I believe you all know mine.” He chuckled, his face lighting up with humor. “I’ve never been one for the subtle approach.”

Spike glanced down at his watch. “That’s all, kiddies. See you next week. Same bat time, same bat channel.” The students filed out as Spike gathered his books and papers and placed them into his black briefcase. He grabbed his duster from the chair and moved to switch out the light.

“Professor?” said a soft voice. Spike turned to see Buffy standing in the doorway.

“Hey there, love.” He kissed his fiancee. “What are you doing in this neck of the woods?”

She held up a stake and jabbed it in the air. “The usual.”

They left the building and walked across the quiet quad of UC Sunnydale. “How was your lecture?”

Spike glanced at Buffy and gave her a sigh. “Well, half the time I feel like they’re really getting what I have to say. That I’m really turning them on to the Bard, you know? The rest of the time, I’m not even sure they’re hearing me.”

Buffy smiled at him and held his hand. “I saw some of those girls as they were leaving. All dolled up for a nine o’clock class. They may not be hearing you, but they’re definitely seeing you.”

Spike looked irritated and dropped her hand. “Oh well, that makes it all right then. Doesn’t matter if they process a single word that I’m saying. They’re getting their parent’s money worth undressing me with their eyes,” he said, his voice seething with irritation.

Buffy opened her mouth and promptly shut it again as he started pacing and waving his briefcase. “I have something valuable to say. I have some wisdom to impart. I’m trying to make a bloody difference here, Buffy!” She slipped her hand inside his duster and held him, patting his back until he settled down a bit. He kissed her on the forehead and took her hand in his again. “Sorry, love. Just feeling a bit sensitive. This teaching gig is really important me, and not just for the money. I have to prove myself.”

They reached the DeSoto and Spike opened the door for Buffy. She opened the glove compartment and pulled out a big of Twizzlers. He grabbed one and held it in his hand like a cigarette while he drove. “The Dean came by to talk to me. He says that they’re considering giving me two more sections next semester. One for English Literature and another for Perspectives in Shakespeare , same as now. It’s be more money and more responsibility, and I could work from home.”

“How can you work from home and teach?” asked Buffy curiously.

“Well, they’re distance learning classes, which means that students watch my lectures on television and then send me assignments with e-mail. Quite handy for my whole avoiding the campus during sunlight thing.” Spike pulled up to a stop sign.

He turned the corner and a truck barrelled into the side of the Desoto. The force of the crash slammed the car up on the curb and into a telephone pole. Steel buckled and glass shattered with the force of the impact. Steam rose from underneath the hood. The silence after the roar of the accident was broken by the sound of the truck peeling off and racing away.

Minutes later, Spike lifted his head from the steering wheel, disoriented. He turned to Buffy. “Sweetheart? Are you alright?” She was turned away from him, her head lolled against the cracked glass of the window.

A tap sounded on Spike’s window. ‘’You’re going to be okay,” said a policeman, shining his flashlight inside the car. “An ambulance is on the way.”

Spike opened the car door, getting out. “I’m fine, really,” he said, “but my fiancée is hurt.” He moved to go around the car, but the cop grabbed him arm. “Just wait for the paramedics, sir,” he said firmly. “Don’t try to move her. You don’t want to do anything to hurt her.”

Spike looked at the car, a twisted pile of metal. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

************************************

“I’m fine,” said Buffy, as they walked out of the emergency room. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

He looked down at her. “It was horrible, seeing you like that, unable to help you.” He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly and rocking her in his arms. “I was afraid that I’d lost you again.”

She pulled his face down to hers. They kissed, a long loving embrace that reassured and soothed. She took his hands in hers, looking intently into his face. “I want to marry you,” she said softly.

He kissed her nose gently. “Good thing we’re planning a wedding then,” he replied with a grin.

She put her hands on his shoulders and gazed into his eyes. ‘I want to get married now. I want to elope,” she said seriously.

He tilted his head and looked at her searchingly. “But we’re making all these plans for the wedding in June. The music, and the food, and …”

She rested her finger against his lips. “None of that matters. I just want you. I want to take you and my sister and my best friends to Las Vegas, and just do it.”

“That doesn’t sound like the perfect day you wanted, love,” said Spike.

“It’s not about romance or some fairy tale,” said Buffy fervently. “It’s about real life. I want to marry you, and start a family with you, and be with you until I die. I don’t know how long we have. I don’t want to waste any time.”

He kissed her gently, and he ran his hands down her front. She stopped his hand and held it over her abdomen. “I want you to drink the potion. I want to have our child,” she said.

He looked at her, shocked. “We’re not even married yet, love. There’s no hurry. You need to be sure that this is what you want,” he said.

She looked up at him, uncertainty clouding her features. “Have you changed your mind?”

He ran his hand through her hair, smiling at her. “How could you even think that? Just take a week to think this over. You’ve just been through a stressful situation. Be sure you’re thinking clearly. Creating a child is a huge decision.”

“Fine. But we are planning the Vegas trip starting now,” she said. He handed her into a taxi, cuddling her close as they drove home.

******************

A hand came down on Buffy’s shoulder. She whirled. ‘So, little lady,” said the man, giving her a close up view of his dentures, “what can I do you for?”

She smiled at the salesman. “We’re looking for a nice, safe family car. It has to seat four comfortably. “She leafed through a folder in her hand. ‘I want something with side airbags and tethers for car seats.” She looked around for Spike. “Hold on a second.” She spotted him and walked over to him.

Spike sat behind the wheel of a minivan on the showroom floor. He adjusted the drivers’ seat while he flipped through the user manual. “I think that we should get one of these,” he said to Buffy. “We could take it on the trip to Vegas, pile everyone in here and go together. And it’s safe, and it can hold a lot of gear.”

The salesman trotted over. ‘This one’s a real beauty,” he said. “They’re hard to come by. We can order you one, but it will take three months to come in. We do have one used one on the lot. It’s from this model year, has less than three thousand miles on it.”

Spike looked at Buffy, and she nodded. “Okay, we’ll take a look,” said Spike. They walked outside and around the lot with the salesman. Spike and Buffy held hands. The salesman stopped in front of a minivan.

“You must be joking,” said Spike. The minivan was painted a metallic purple. The window glass and windshield were tinted black. Chrome hubcaps shone from all four wheels.

“I know that’s it’s a little..loud,” said the salesman nervously. “But it’s fully loaded, with aftermarket leather seats, built in refrigerator, video and family entertainment center with DVD.”

Spike walked around the back of the van. He stopped and tilted his head, looking amused. ‘Why don’t you go get the key and we’ll take a look,” suggested Spike. The salesman went off. “I have to get this, honey,” said Spike. “It is so…me.”

”God, I hope not,” said Buffy as she strolled over to him. He put his arm around her shoulder. She saw what he was looking at. Blazoned across the black glass of the rear window in large white letters was “Big Bad Daddy.”

*************

Buffy and Spike sat cross-legged on their bed, staring at the bottle that held their hope of having a child. Spike looked at her uncertainly. She smiled and nodded reassuringly. He cracked the wax that sealed it shut and uncorked the bottle, pouring the foaming green liquid into a cup. Corking the bottle, he set it carefully down on the floor.

Buffy peered into the cup. “It smells like my herbal shampoo,” she said.

“Well, there are a great many herbs in it,” he replied.

“Do you know exactly what is in there?” she asked.

“Yes, I do,” `he said seriously.

“And it’s safe? Nothing weird will happen?” she asked, looking at him.

“I may wax a little poetic while I’m under the spell. Just ignore it. I’ll be back to myself when it wears off.” He smiled at her uncertainly. He stared at her as he drank the elixir. His eyes rolled back in his head. She grabbed him by the arms.

“Spike?” she said anxiously. His body temperature rose underneath her touch, becoming feverishly warm.

His eyes fluttered open. He gazed at her adoringly. “You’re a goddess,” he murmured. He slipped his hands inside her nightgown, making her gasp at their warmth. “Your skin is like alabaster, perfect and unblemished.” He rubbed his hands over her breasts, delicately fingering her nipples. He rolled on top of her, kissing her. His hands untied the small ribbons that closed her nightgown, revealing her nakedness. “Cones of ivory,” he whispered, placing his hands over her breasts. He kissed her gently on each nipple. She leaned up and placed her hand on his neck, pulling him close to her. He traced his finger lovingly over her face. “Let me worship at the temple of your body,” he said, looking at her sweetly. He bent to kiss her, and slid carefully inside her. He moaned, and moved uncertainly inside her. She held his hips, moving him into a pleasurable rhythm.

“I love you,” she murmured, licking his neck. He cried out, reaching his climax. Buffy looked up, watching him come. He gasped, breathing hard, as he rolled next to her. “Did you forget about something?” she asked teasingly.

“What, my divine one?” he replied, smiling widely.

“What about me?” she said, gesturing to her naked body.

“Of course,” he said, as he smacked his head. “I must pay homage to you.” He brightened. “Mortals must give an offering to the gods. I shall write an ode, praising your glorious radiance. ”

She laughed, humoring him. ‘I know you said you’d be a little poetic, but this is ridiculous.”

“I must know your name. Are you Aphrodite? Ishtar? Isis? ” he asked, tilting his head.

“I’m Buffy,” she said sarcastically.

“Buffy, the sweet goddess of love,’ he said tenderly, grasping a tendril of her hair.

She rolled onto him and slid down his body. “I think I like you better when you aren’t talking. You’re kind of a babbling idiot under this spell,” she said, taking him in her mouth.

He moaned, and quickly hardened. She moved over him and thrust him inside her, moving up and down along his length. He looked up at her, shocked. “Oh, my darling…” he said. She cut him off, slipping her tongue inside his mouth. She rocked back and forth, and he became more and more fervent. He rolled her on her back, pounding hard inside her. “Oh yes, oh yes,” she moaned. “Oh, Spike!” She came, and so did he, grabbing her shoulder as his head arched back.

“Much better,” she said. He lay upon her, his head resting on her chest.

“Why did you say spike?” he asked, his voice muffled.

‘Why did I say your name when I came?” she asked, confused.

He looked at her, equally puzzled. “My name is William.”

“William,” she repeated blankly.

‘William Walthrop.”

**************

They sat at the kitchen counter in their bathrobes, eating bowls of ice cream.

“You haven’t read anything by Tennyson?” William said, flabbergasted.

‘I think I’ve heard of him,” said Buffy helpfully.

He placed his hand on his chest. “On either side the river lie,” he declaimed,” long fields of barley and of rye, that clothe the wold and meet the sky...”

“What’s a wold?” interrupted Buffy.

He sighed. ‘Focus on the images, the flow, not the words.” Abruptly, his eyes rolled back in his head. He fell out of the chair, his bowl shattering on the floor. Buffy continued eating her ice cream, casually glancing down at the man lying at her feet. He began to stir, moaning and clutching his head. ‘Buffy?” he said.

She peered down at him from her chair. “You are so busted, Spike.”

He lay back, looking up at her. “Didn’t much care for William, I take it. Seeing as how we’re both clothed and all.” He sighed. “Poor bloke never was a hit with the ladies.”

‘I had sex with someone I didn’t even know,” she said angrily. ‘Twice.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Twice?” Glaring at him, she stomped upstairs. He sat up hurriedly and followed her. “You had sex with me, love. William is me, or he was me, or I used to be him. It’s confusing, pet.”

She turned, swinging at him. He ducked. “Yeah, it was confusing for me, too,” hissed Buffy. ”All of a sudden you’re a pompous idiot and a lousy lay.” She slammed the door in his face.

“Hey!” he said. “That’s not very nice!”

The only response was the sound of the lock sliding home and something crashing into the door.

Later that night, Spike awoke with a start. Someone leaned over the couch where he slept. “I can’t sleep without you in the bed,” said Buffy. He took her into his arms and kissed her as he carried her upstairs. “I love you,” she whispered, “not someone else.”

“But you want a baby, love, and I can’t give you that,” said Spike. “Only William the stupid git can do that.”

She rested her head against his chest. “There must be some other way.”

“The elixir is the only way, Buffy. The only way to turn back the hands of time and make me as I was, a living man with living seed,” he said as they reached their bedroom.

“I don’t think we should use it,” said Buffy. “It just doesn’t seem right.”

“Then we won’t,” reassured Spike, closing the door behind them.

********************

Willow and Tara sat on a bench in the park, kissing. Buffy walked over, smiling and beautiful in a short pink dress. “Sorry to interrupt, guys,” she said, as they broke apart. “Did you both pick up your dresses today? If you need anything altered, you need to do it now. We’ve only got two days left until we leave for the wedding.”

“They’re perfect,” Tara reassured her,” and Anya looks beautiful in her dress too. She’s complaining that she’s showing, but we couldn’t tell.”

“Dawn and I have our dresses ready. Spike and Xander are getting their tuxedoes tomorrow. I just have to pick up the rings this afternoon, and call the hotel again to confirm. Everything is all set,” said Buffy happily.

The two witches exchanged a look. “We wanted to talk to you about the research you asked us to do,” said Willow.

“So what did you come up with?” Buffy said eagerly.

“There is no way other than the Elixir of Gordath for a vampire to impregnate a woman,” said Willow, her face serious.

Buffy’s face fell, and she scrambled to cover her disappointment. “Well, it doesn’t matter...” she said, trailing off.

“But,” said Tara,” I found an obscure text. It agreed with the others, that the Elixir is not guaranteed to work every time on a mortal woman. But it indicated,” she looked deeply into Buffy’s eyes, “that it would work every time on the Slayer.”

Buffy’s eyes opened wide. “Get out!”

“No kidding,” said Willow. “I don’t mean to pry, but did you and Spike Lite, you know, do the deed?”

Buffy blushed. ‘Twice.”

“Then, if this thing is right, you’re probably pregnant,” concluded Tara. “Do you want to know for sure?”

Buffy looked bewildered. “Of course I want to. But it’s too early. It’s only been a week.”

Tara stood in front of her, whispering and waving her hands. A golden glow spread around her fingers, and she placed them gently on Buffy’s belly. The glow spread over her, growing brighter and brighter, until it formed a globe. The orb spun faster and faster, until it stopped. A slight pink tinge took over the ball, until a glowing pink orb of energy floated in front of Buffy.

“A girl,” gasped Willow. “You’re going to have a baby girl!”


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