~~~~~
 

Spike had deviated from his original course and walked unhurriedly through a dark, deserted forest populated only by dry trees. No plants coated the ground, no animals went out into the night to look for sustenance. His thoughts, at one time bent on killing and destruction, were plagued by one thing, his beloved Buffy. When he had gone to her for help after the soldier boys had put that chip in his head, he never suspected what the ramifications of his actions would be. If anybody had told him a year ago that he would fall in love with the Slayer he would have laughed in their face, then beaten the shit out of them. But it was true, he was completely smitten by her. Her beauty, her passion , her dedication, her poise, her strength, the way she smiled, her essence, it all captured his heart and didn’t let go. She was the light of his unlife, the sunshine he so fondly longed for but which evaded him at every turn. And now that light was gone, extinguished by the forces of fate that claimed her life. It left him feeling more wretched than he thought possible. He was like a ship at sea that had abruptly been deprived of its sails, left with no other than to either continue wandering aimlessly or surrender to the depths. He wasn’t sure yet which option he preferred.

Lost in his forlorn thoughts, he failed to notice the slight change in his surroundings. The trees grew in size, their thick roots covered most of the ground and the numerous branches clustered around him. Suddenly, an strange voice whispered in the darkness. A chill running down his back, Spike looked around him warily, straining to see through the shadows. The voices multiplied, accusing him in harsh tones.

“Failure.” “You couldn’t protect her.” “You broke your promise.”

“No, no, please, no,” he moaned miserably.

His pace gradually quickened until he ran, as he tried desperately to flee from the voices. It was to no use, they were everywhere, choking him, drowning him, tearing at his fragile mind. His immediate attempts to escape were further hindered by the bulkiness of the trees. His feet stumbled on the roots, making him crash to the floor more than once. The sharp branches cut deep furrows on his face and neck. They lacerated the tender flesh of his hands as he tried to keep them at bay. He screamed when one imbedded itself in his left shoulder. His foot wrapped itself around a root and he fell down hard. Anguished tears mixed with blood on his cut face. A shaking hand gripped the piece of wood and he yanked it out with a howl of pain. He remained on the ground, to exhausted to stand. The acrimonious, incriminating voices roared in his ears. He curled his broken, wounded body into a tight ball, face pressed firmly against the soil. His hands covered his ears striving to extinguish the offending sound. A low whimpering emerged from his throat.

“No, stop, please, stop, I can’t, I can’t take it anymore, please.”

And they stopped as quickly as they’d begun. A quiet stillness hung in the air. He lifted his head and beheld amazed the transformation that the forest had undergone. The dead trees were replaced by live ones and the ground on which he lay was paved in green. He glanced down at his body and gasped when he noticed it was intact. Gone were the scratches and lacerations, including the gash in his shoulder. He gingerly felt his face. No cuts, no blood. he sighed with relief. suddenly, a soft hand touched his cheek and turned his head around. His eyes went wide and he stared open-mouthed at the vision that appeared before him.

“Buffy?”

She smiled tenderly down at him and answered, “Yes, my Spike. It’s me, I’ve come back to you.”

Tears of joy sprung to his eyes and a bright smile lit up his face. His undead heart overflowed with happiness at the wondrous sight of cherished Buffy. She stood there in all her beauty, whole, breathing, alive. He touched the warm hand on his face, brought it to his lips palm upwards and tentatively kissed it. He buried himself in her skin, drawing in her sweet scent. She crouched beside him, allowing him to trace a trail of kisses up her arm . He nuzzled her neck and weaved his fingers through her hair. One of her hands cradled his head, while the other reached under his clothes and gently caressed his lower back, sketching patterns up and down his spine with the tip of her fingers. He purred softly against her, delighting in the first true comfort he had felt in a very long time. They stayed in that position for some time, both content simply enjoying the presence of each other.

At last, he lifted his head and joined their lips in a fierce, passionate kiss. Their tongues amicably intermingled inside their mouths, eagerly exploring the other’s delicate flesh.

When the kiss ended they gazed deeply in each others eyes, holding hands. After a while, he broke the silence.

“Buffy, how, how is this possible. It’s like a dream.”

“Shhh”, she quieted him with a quick kiss, “don’t dwell on it.”

“I thought I’d never see you again,” he said in allow tone.

“I will always be near you.”
Her next words were roughly cut off as she began to lose her grasp on his world. She looked down and saw that her arms were translucent. She hurriedly snatched her hands away. Spike looked questioningly at her, slightly concerned.

“Pet, what’s wrong? Are you all right?”

She gave him a small embarrassed smile.

“Yes, of course I am. Um, Spike”, she looked at him anxiously, “I have to go now.”

“What? But you just got here. Where are you going?”

“I can’t tell you. But it’s only for a little while. I’ll be back.”

“Can’t I go with you? I don’t want to be separated from you again.”

“No, but I will come back to you, I promise. We’ll be together again soon.”

She kissed him tenderly one last time as her body disintegrated into air.

He opened his eyes and found himself back in the crypt, the taste of her still on his lips. The harsh truth of his situation hit him. It had been a dream, all of it. Buffy was dead, she wasn’t coming back. The tears assaulted him again.

“Buffy”, he moaned softly, “I love you, I love you.”
 

~~~~~
 

She awoke back in her grave at the cemetery after she entered Spike’s perturbed mind. She had felt every emotion, every wish, every memory, every sensation, he had experienced throughout his long life. She saw the night of his turning and the rush of new sensation his limbs as he shed his human skin for an undead one. She saw Drusilla, his Sire, his dark love for a hundred years, and the pain and anger he felt at her betrayal. The empty months that followed, during which he remained mostly in a drunken stupor. A faint trace of hope in his attempts to win her back, trampled by her indifference. She saw his deep hate for Angelus who had destroyed their love. She saw his capture by the Initiative and his depression and despair following the introduction of the chip that led to his suicide attempt. She saw his misguided nevertheless deep love for the Slayer and her cruel rejection that echoed his first love’s Cecily’s so resoundingly. And finally, she saw the last battle with Glory, his desperate hurry to get to Dawn to save her, his long fall from the tower and seeing Buffy, the woman he loved with all his nonexistent soul, lying lifeless on the ground.

This sudden surge of images and feelings overwhelmed her long dead senses. She grieved acutely for him and his unjust past and decided to follow through with her original plan. He wanted his love back so badly, therefore she would bring her back. The first step was already taken. The other night in his dream she had introduced herself to him as Buffy.
 

~~~~~

Spike wearily opened his eyes. He had not had a moments peace since the night of the dream in which he saw Buffy. He couldn’t get her image out of his mind. Her beautiful face beamed at him, affection showing clearly in her eyes. Light radiated from her body, a beacon in the darkness of his unlife. Then she disappeared leaving him alone and empty again. He knew she wasn’t real, that she was just an illusion, the product of his fevered mind. But it had felt so genuine, so true. She had promised to come back, that they would be together. Even though he knew how absurd it was he clung to that promise.

He barely ever left the crypt, only to procure more blood. Instead he wallowed on his stone bed searching for her in his sleep. It was to no use, she was gone, not even a whisper remained. Spike felt his heart break even further, if such a thing were possible. It had been broken so many times already he doubted it would ever mend.

Slowly he stood up and walked over to the television. He looked dejectedly at what he had placed on top of it. A long wooden stake. He grabbed it and passed his finger over its tip, testing its sharpness. He pondered it for a few minutes then turned it around towards him, pressing the tip to his skin, right above the heart. A bitter tear escaped his eyes right before he closed them. He banished all thought from his mind. His grip tightened around the stake and he made a motion to sink it into his flesh.

STOP!

The loud yell rang across his brain, causing him to drop the stake. He looked around frantically, though he instinctively knew he wouldn’t find anyone. For the alien command had not reached his ears, it came from within him. He swallowed deep unneeded breaths in a vain attempt to calm himself. A sudden chill overcame his already cold body, freezing his limbs. He looked warily at his arms, for the first time since he ceased to be human the pale skin was covered with goosebumps. He sank trembling onto the chair and closed his eyes.

Soon the freezing sensation lifted and Spike was surrounded by warmth. Birds sang in the distance, accompanied by the sound of waves crashing on rocks. A light wind carried the scent of seasalt to his nose. He no longer sat on his chair, instead he felt a hard cylindrical surface pressed against his back and soft sand sift through his fingers. He opened his eyes and found himself on a large beach, his back resting on a palm tree. He looked up and saw the sun high in the sky. Reflexively, he jumped up pulling his duster over his head and searched frantically for shelter from the sun’s harmful rays. After a little while he stopped when he realized they weren’t hurting him. His skin tingled with the heat, but it didn’t burn. His bafflement soon turned into happiness and, with a broad smile on his face, he basked in the sun, letting the warm rays wash over him. He walked among the palm trees to the shore which stretched as far as he could see. The clear water gently lapped at his boots as he gazed at the resplendent landscape composed of blues and greens.

But this beauty was nothing compared to the one that next presented itself before his eyes. To his left, Buffy approached him wearing only a simple green dress. If he were human his heart would have skipped a beat. ‘She kept her promise’, he thought, ‘after so many nights and days of waiting she’s finally here.’ When she reached him he pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her passionately. She responded in kind, suckling his mouth desperately. Their tongues intertwined, caressing, madly exploring the insides of each other’s mouths. It was a good thing neither of them need to breathe. When they calmed down, she spoke against his lips.

“See, I told you I’d come back.”

He chuckled lightly and smiled.

“You sure took your bloody time. Gave me quite a scare.”

“I know, I’m sorry, things were a little , complicated. But not anymore. This time I’m staying for good.”

His blue eyes filled with hope.

“You really mean that? You won’t vanish on me again? You’ll stay with me forever?”

“For as long as you want me.”

“I’ll always want you,” he said with deep devotion in his voice, “I love you, Buffy, more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

“I love you too, Spike. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“That’s alright”, his heart jumped with joy at the softly spoken words, “I understand.”

“But I should have told you.”

Her hands trailed suggestively down his chest. Her voice turned into a husky whisper.

“There’s so much we could have done.”

An involuntary breath caught in his throat. With his hands on her back he pulled her closer to him. Their aroused pelvises rubbed against each other. He felt himself grow hard in response to her heat.
“Why don’t we do them right now.”

She answered him with a hungry kiss while her hands unbuckled his belt. He took of his duster, shirt, and shoes and threw them in a pile away from the water. He then gently slid of her dress, revealing a pair of perfectly round breasts, a smooth stomach, lithe limbs, and her tender mound. She shivered a little from the breeze and the feel of his eyes on her.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

She blushed faintly and smiled. Swiftly, she removed his pants. His erection jumped into her waiting hand and she stroked it slowly, gliding over the engorged flesh. She traced his jawline and neck with her mouth, giving him a gentle bite which elicited a groan from him. He grabbed her ass with one hand and fondled her left breast with the other. As his pleasure mounted his knees buckled and they fell with a light splash on the wet sand and cool water, her blanketing his body. She increased the pressure on his cock, moving her hand faster and faster over its length, from base to tip. Her tongue danced over his chest, delineating every muscle, circling his flat nipples, dipping into his navel, tasting his sweat, marking him as hers. He moaned loudly, his eyes half-mast, hips thrusting blindly. His fingers tangled in her hair, all his senses dominated by the rapture she provided. He came fiercely, slipping into his demonic visage, crying out her name, his whole body shaking with the force of his orgasm. After he calmed down, he quickly resumed his human face. She let him go and claimed his lips. In the midst of their kissing he took hold of her shoulders and flipped them over.

“My turn”, he said seductively.

He leisurely kissed his way down her body, first her mouth, then her chin, her throat, her collarbone. He sucked avidly on her breasts, his blunt teeth grazing the supple skin, feeling the blood flow underneath, so close. He carefully circled her areolas with the tip of his tongue and gently nibbled on her hard nipples. She flushed and her breathing intensified as she observed his blonde head continue its pleasurable descent down her body. He crossed over her silken stomach, her quivering abdomen and, ultimately reaching his destination, he plunged into her waiting vagina. Her body jolted at the feel of his mouth, then surrendered willingly into his caress, her body becoming more and more enveloped in ecstasy. He skillfully roamed through her delicate insides with his tongue. He teasingly played with her clit, skillfully massaging it with his tongue and sucking it with his mouth, her cries of bliss resounding in his ears. He put in two of his fingers and pinched her clit, his delicious ministrations sending her over the edge. Her thighs clasped his face as her powerful orgasm claimed her.

Before her pleasure could subside, he climbed up on top of her and slowly filled up her passage with his penis. She cried out in shock at the sudden fullness. He questioningly surveyed her face, asking for permission to continue. The fire in her eyes and her hands latching onto his hips told him what he needed to know. He gradually increased his pace within her and she gladly welcomed him. She spread her legs completely to capture him in his entirety, wrapping them around his back. She arched her body up against him and matched him thrust for thrust. Their mouths commingled and fought for dominance, rivaling the duel occurring among their nether parts. As they neared their climax, her inner muscles swelled around him, clenching his shaft as he drove into her mercilessly.

“Spike, oh God, Spike”, she gasped.

“Buffy”, he half-growled in reply.

They culminated together in an explosion of fluids and sensual delights.

Later, after a couple of more pleasurable sessions, they rested side by side, totally satisfied, the waves washing over their bodies, cleansing and renewing their spirits. Her head lied on the crook of his shoulder; her hand lazily caressed his chest. His arm was draped loosely around her back, holding her to him. They watched contently the bright myriad of colors in the sky caused by the setting sun. Spike happily observed her recumbent form, still astounded that his fondest wish, what he had longed for so terribly for the past year actually came true. The woman he adored with all his heart lied in his arms and he had just made love to her. Plus, she said she loved him. It was everything he ever hoped for and more.

He softly kissed the top of her head. She made a joyful sound and snuggled further into his chest. Neither one wanted to disturb this perfect moment, so they simply held each other, luxuriating in each others touch until they ultimately succumbed to sleep.
 

~~~~~

Spike awakened to the cool touch of marble and the musty smell of decay. ‘Oh, no’, he thought dismally, ‘not again, this can’t be happening to me again.’ Just as the harsh reality sunk in and tears began to well behind his closed eyelids, he felt a warm body pressed against him. The sight that greeted him when he opened his eyes was so astounding, so unbelievable, that if he weren’t already dead he might have had a heart attack. For before him lied the sleeping body of Buffy, looking just as lovely and vibrant as in his dream. Her naked form was lying on its side, draped in his white sheet up to her shoulder blades, one arm lying casually over it. Her head rested on his pillow, blonde hair all in disarray. Hesitantly, he reached out to touch her with a shaking hand. Just before he did so, she twisted her body to lie on her back, moaning softly. His hand drew back slightly.

‘Bloody hell’, he thought, ‘she’s alive, but, no, she can’t be, this isn’t possible, she died, we buried her, it can’t be. This can’t be real, it must be a hallucination or something, but she looks so perfect and soft and warm...’ While his mind rambled on his body remained perfectly still, his hand hovering between their bodies.

She opened her eyes and gazed sleepily around her. She saw him sitting up beside her, gaping at her wide-eyed, a look of utter shock and stupefaction on his face. Seeing him that way she realized what had occurred and worry crept into her mind. ‘Oh shit’, she thought analyzing the situation, ‘this isn’t his dream anymore, it’s the real world, I managed to cross over into the real world in a tangible form. And he knows it’s the real world.’ Very slowly, she sat up and eased her hand towards his face, finally brushing her knuckles across his cheek. He emitted a startled gasp as he received physical proof of what he was trying to deny. His hand renewed its movement and tremblingly felt the warm skin of her neck. He gingerly touched her face, tracing every contour of it with the tips of his fingers, attempting to assure himself that she wasn’t a mirage. His other hand joined in lightly grasping her shoulder. His eyes held a look of absolute wonderment. In a voice not much louder than a whisper, he began to speak.

“Am I still dreaming? Is this some sort of wonderful dream that never ends?”

Sliding her hand through his hair, she brought his face closer to hers. She looked him straight in the eyes, searching within their depths.

“Do you want it to be?”, she inquired.

“If it is, I don’t want to ever wake up from it.”

She smiled tenderly at him, relieved at his answer.

“Then you won’t have to.”

She gently kissed his open mouth, reassuring him (and herself) that everything was alright, the way they were supposed to be. Her hands traveled down his back and pressed his body to hers. His hands tightened around her waist as their kiss grew more intense and he moaned softly. ‘Oh yes my darling’, she thought, ‘this dream will continue, for as long as you want it to, I will be here.’ Their bodies soon joined their lips as they made love passionately for the first time outside of Spike’s mind.
 

~~~~~

For weeks they lived happily in his crypt, lost in their own little world secluded from everyone else, playing imaginative games amongst themselves. Once they drank their fill of each other, they peacefully reposed together. Sometimes they spoke, other times they simply drifted into a comfortable silence. One of the things she loved most about their new life was to watch him, to observe every detail of his beautiful being. His gorgeous face with its deep blue eyes and exquisite cheekbones. The becoming scar on his left eyebrow. His soft, wavy pale blonde hair. The way his pinkish lips curved into a happy smile when he looked at her. The perfection of his well-formed body. His strong, muscled arms and legs, his splendid chest, the lean plane of his abdomen, his smooth back, his shapely backside, his fine hips, and the luscious jewel that hung in front. Even his feet were enticing. She adored the way he moved with a feline grace. The way his whole face brightened and his eyes became intensely animated when he spoke to her. She especially liked to watch him sleep. The first time she saw him asleep when she entered his crypt, his countenance was contorted in an anguished frown and his body was tense as if awaiting a struggle. Now he looked serene, relaxed, completely free of worry. He was happy, she made him happy, just as she hoped she would.

She gazed sweetly at him with face with a tender smile. Spike was lying on his back, his feet hooked at the ankle, one leg slightly bent, his right arm draped across his waist. His left arm rested on his side close to his head which was turned towards it, his short hair was tousled by her hands and the pillow. The rumpled sheet lay at an awkward angle on his body, covering him from the waist down but revealing a delectable piece of hip and thigh. Her smile turned mischievous as she slowly slid the sheet off him exposing his limp penis and testicles. Gently, she eased his thighs apart and moved herself between them. She reached down with her left hand and softly caressed his perineum while simultaneously stroking the top of his cock with the index finger of the right hand. She felt the blood rush underneath his skin in response to her ministrations. Likewise, his head moved and he gave out a small groan. She wrapped her fingers around the base of his cock, leaned down, and took the head into her mouth. Her wet tongue laved at the tender underside of his cock while her hand pumped leisurely. By now fully awake, Spike submitted willfully to her pleasurable actions. He panted heavily, moaning when she squeezed him with her mouth and pulled him further into her throat. Her right hand moved down to his balls, roughly kneading the two globules as if they were dough. She reached with her left hand underneath him, briefly grabbed one firm buttock, then slipped two fingers into his anus. His surprised gasp dissolved into an enraptured moan as he arched his back at the double assault. Her probing fingers dug deeper inside him, stroking and stretching his sensitive walls while her mouth sucked fervently on his penis. Her deft movements soon made him climax. He came with a wild cry, his hands fiercely gripping the sides of the pillow below his head, shooting his seed deep within her throat. She milked him eagerly of every last drop, then sat back and observed his game-face caught in the throes of post orgasmic bliss. After his body calmed, she kneeled over him, straddling his hips, and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

“Good morning”, she said softly.

He chuckled lightly slipping back into human face and looked at her adoringly, a smile playing on his dazzling blue orbs.

“You have one hell of a way of waking up a bloke, pet.”

She smiled back and spoke while slowly tracing one fine cheekbone with her finger. “You just looked so luscious lying there. I couldn’t help myself.” At the end of that sentence, the tip of her finger dipped through his lips. He lightly sucked it and drew the entire finger into his mouth. He caressed her finger with his tongue, massaging her skin deliciously slow. Their eyes bore into each other, nearly burning with the intensity of their gaze. He grasped her arm, bringing her closer to him, caught the back of her head and replaced her finger with her lips. He grabbed the breasts dangling before him, softly squeezing them and twisting the nipples. Her hands moved to his chest and her nails lightly raked on his supple flesh, over the smooth plane of his stomach, past his navel, his abdomen, going deeper. Both moaned with pleasure, the heat in their bodies escalating as each sought to possess the other. His left hand reached further down on her body seeking to gain access to her waiting mound. He entered two fingers into her moist warmth and tweaked her clitoris between them, drawing an enraptured moan from her. She retaliated by latching her hand onto his once again hard cock, caressing him with long, languid strokes. He in turn rubbed her harder and bent his fingers inside her, stretching her. She impaled herself desperately on his fingers and tugged at his erection more fiercely. Their ecstatic moans echoed of the crypt’s walls, loud, resonating. She braced the hand that wasn’t occupied on the bed beside his shoulder, baring her breasts to him. He took one into his mouth, sucking avidly at the nipple, circling it with his tongue, scrapping gently with his teeth. He introduced a third finger… pushed in and out… faster… harder… spreading her wet tightness… she squeezed his shaft… pumped… frenzied… each movement claiming… owning. Pleasure swelled with each touch… each caress… every contact sending waves of rapture through titillated nerves, finally bursting in a flash of light. Twin piercing, wild cries rose in a deafening crescendo, filling the empty air, reverberating of the old stone. They collapsed, melded against each other, the product of their ecstasy coating their skin. Unable, unwilling to speak, they rested, sated, heavy breathing and happy smiles expressing their post- coital bliss.
 

~~~~~

I now it’s not her. I’m not so far in denial that I can’t see that. Buffy would never be this way with me, so loving and caring. She was repulsed by me after that whole mess with Dru, when I told her I loved her. Course she hated me before then. She only tolerated my presence after Glory nearly chopped me into bits because she was grateful that I hadn’t told her Dawn was the key. If Buffy really came back to life she would be with her friends, going on picnics in the sun and enjoying life and all that, not buried in a dirty crypt with a neutered vampire who failed to come through when she most needed it.

This Buffy doesn’t talk about slaying or demons or Dawn’s antics or anything related to her life. She avoids all that stuff. Instead she directs the conversation towards me, when we aren’t shagging that is. My life with Dru, Angelus, and Darla, what happened to us when Angelus got a soul, the two slayers I killed. When I told her that she had already forced me to tell her about the slayers she looked flustered but quickly covered it up saying she knew that, she just wanted to hear it again. I knew it was because she hadn’t heard it before.

She doesn’t like me going out, she only lets me go after I assure her that I’m only going for blood and that I’ll be quick about it. I think she’s afraid I’ll bump into one of the scoobies and I’ll mention her. Not that I’d tell them about her, they would want to know who she is and where she came from and ruin what we have. I’ve had my life fucked up by too many people, someone else always making the choice for me. I’m not letting other people interfere in what I want anymore. And if I want to pretend that this being is Buffy it’s none of their business.

How can I resist hearing words of love emerging from pink lips that taste like hers, seeing adoring gazes from beautiful eyes that look like hers, touching a more than willing body that feels and smells like hers. Getting lost in her scent, her aroma, her essence. To get the chance to love her like I would have liked. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for.
I know this won’t last forever. I know it’s all a lie and that one day I’m going to wake up and she won’t be here and I’ll be back to being a pathetic sod whose highlight in life, well unlife in any case, is to get so drunk that he won’t remember that he can’t hurt people and is stuck drinking pig’s blood and that he fell in love with a slayer who died because he couldn’t fulfill a promise.

But for as long as she’s here I’m going to enjoy it and grab whatever happiness I can.



THE END