Buffy and Dawn stood at their mother's grave together.  This was the first time they have both come to visit her together.  Two fresh bouquets laid at their feet, a dozen purple roses and six yellow daisies.  The letter between them looked worn, the small ink of their mothers name faded into the paper.  Dawn kneeled down running her fingers over the fresh bouquets and placed her lily across them.  She rose back up to her feet dancing her fingers over the engraved words on the stone of her mother's tombstone.

"I love you mom."  Dawn whispered as she stood.

Buffy wrapped an arm around her little sister tugging her into a small hug.  Dawn glanced over at Tara's grave and then looked back at Buffy.  Buffy stood there staring at the tombstone before her, and the fresh flowers.  Every time she would walk by and see them here a smile would cross her face, this time was no different.  Dawn nudged at her a little breaking her from whatever thoughts she was having.  Buffy noticed Dawn was fidgeting in her arms, and shook her head letting Dawn go so she could go over to be with Tara for a little bit.  Dawn leaned in and kissed her sister's cheek before turning and walking away.

"She really misses her, Mom."  Buffy said as she watched Dawn walk across the cemetery.  "Probably as much as she misses you.  Those two were so close."

Dawn walked across the cemetery over to Tara's grave.  The closer she came the slower her strides were.  She became almost hesitant as she walked up and cautiously reached her hand out and laid it on Willow's shoulder.  This was the first time since they buried Tara Willow has come to visit.  It has been almost two months too, and pretty much the entire time Willow stayed inside her house, never wanting to come out.  So today, was a big group outing, supporting each other, mainly supporting Willow as she talked to Tara. 

Willow looked up in Dawn's face, and started crying reaching her hand up on top of Dawn's squeezing it softly.  Dawn leaned down and sat next to Willow, wrapping her arm around her.  Willow laid her head down on Dawn's shoulder and tried to whip her tears from her face.  She just hasn't been able to stop crying since she took her first step into the cemetery.  Dawn rocked with her gently, making soothing noises, trying to reassure her friend.  Both of their conversations to Tara were spoken in silence as they sat together at her grave. 

Buffy sat at her mother's grave still saying everything she needed to tell her.  She needed to tell somebody about everything happening with Spike, and she knew her mother would enjoy the fact that Spike was able to stand outside in the sunlight.  It was still unbelievable to Buffy that she saw him that day, even though she hadn't seen him since she knew it all really happened.  She wanted to tell Dawn so badly about it, but didn't want Dawn trying to go out find where he was.  Telling her mother though was just different.  Buffy jumped when she felt a warm hand graze over her shoulder.  Turning around Xander stood behind her smiling down at her.  Buffy took his hand and he helped raise her to her feet. 

"Goodbye Mom, see you soon." Buffy said as she glanced back over her shoulder, and out of the corner of her eye there he stood holding a single daisy between his fingers.

"What is it Buf?"  Xander asked looking back at her frozen form.

"Uh?"  Buffy mumbled.

Xander placed his hand on her chin and turned her to face him.  "Buf, what is it?"  Xander smiled letting go of her chin.

Buffy turned her head to see him one more time but he was already gone.  "Oh, uh, nothing."  Buffy turned back towards Xander.  "Nothing."

Xander and Buffy walked over to Dawn and Willow sitting at Tara's grave.  Buffy let go of Xander's hand and kneeled down next to Willow wrapping her arms around her friend and Xander sat behind the three girls and wrapped his arms around all three of them.  Willow turned her head into Buffy's shoulder and started crying harder, broken tears of 'I'm sorry, and 'please forgive me' came out in muffled sobs.  Buffy embraced her a little tighter and tried to calm her again.  All her friends knew this was going to be hard for her to deal with, but they knew she needed to come. 

"It's alright."  Buffy cooed.  "Everything is alright."

They all sat in a huddle of hugs at Tara's grave, holding each other, letting Willow cry until she felt, at least for the day anyways she had no more tears to cry.  One by one they stood up, and let Willow say her final goodbye for now laying her flower down next to the fresh bouquet on the grass.  Buffy wrapped her arm in Willow's and they turned around and started walking away.  Dawn moved in step with the two friends and grabbed Willow's pale weak hand in hers.  Over the past two months Willow had barely ate, or barely done anything at all and she has grown so tired and weak all the time.  Nobody said anything to her about it, but in subtle ways tried to get her to eat and do stuff.  Xander walked behind the girls, and they all headed back to Willow's home.  For today this was enough, tomorrow they will try to get her to do something different.

Dawn and Buffy stayed over at Willow's until the sun went down, leaving Xander there with her until she goes to sleep.  That is the way it has pretty much been since it all happened.  Somebody always stayed with Willow until she fell asleep.  Just recently has she been letting Buffy or Dawn stay with her.  Somebody was always with Willow all of the time, even Anya had come over to make sure she was doing okay. 

Buffy and Dawn walked up their front porch and a single daisy and a note lying next to the front door.  Dawn reached down and picked it up smelling the daisy then handing it over to her sister.  A small smile creped up on Buffy's face as she took the flower from Dawn, and tried to reach for the note.  Dawn spun out of her reach and moved away from quickly taking the note from the small card it was in.  She read the note with a smile and then stopped and stood staring at her sister. Buffy reached out and grabbed the note from her, read it and moved over to the door.  She unlocked the door and walked in leaving Dawn on the porch frozen silence. 

Buffy was at the top of the stairs when Dawn walked through the door and looked up at her departing sister.

"It's from him, isn't it?"  Dawn asked.

Buffy stopped walking and took in a deep breath.  She grabbed the railing in her fist and tried to still herself.  She didn't know if she should tell Dawn what is going on, at least not yet.  Buffy walked down the hall and heard Dawn running up the stairs as she stepped through the doorway to her room.  Dawn stopped just short of her sister's door and stared at her back.  She wouldn't even turn to look at her; she just threw the note and flower at her vanity and grabbed the door handle.

"Please Buffy."  Dawn implored.

"You should get ready so we can go."  Buffy said as she shut the door to her room.

Dawn stormed down the hall to her room, shouting at her sister as she slammed the door.  Buffy leaned against her closed door and shuddered at the sound of the loud thud that thundered through their house.  She walked over to her vanity and picked up the flower to take in its scent.  Putting down the flower and picking up the note she walked over to her closet to pick out some clothes for tonight's training and patrol.  She grabbed a pair of workout pants, and a comfortable short sleeve shirt and threw the clothes on her bed.  She threw the note on the vanity with the flower and got dressed.  Tonight she was going to tell Dawn about Spike. 

Both the girls were training in the back part of the Magic Box.  Tonight Buffy made Dawn work on the punching bag as she tried to meditate in the corner.  The sounds of the punching bag stopped abruptly and silence took over the training room. 

"Can I ask you a question?"  Dawn inquired.

"Does it have to be now?"  Buffy asked.

"Yes."  Dawn said.

"Is it about the notes?"  Buffy questioned.

"No!  Like you would tell me anyways."  Dawn mumbled.

Buffy opened her eyes and looked at her sister standing next to the punching bag almost out of breath.  They both stared at each other until Buffy broke the silence.  "Are you gonna ask Dawnie?"

"Where did the fresh flowers come from at mother's and Tara's graves?"  Dawn wandered.

Buffy uncrossed her legs and leaned back a little wrapping her arms around her legs.  Dawn watched as her sister tensed and hugged herself into a small tiny 'Slayer ball' and sat down on the ground next to the bag cross-legged.  She looked into her older sister's eyes as she took in a big deep breath.

"Dawn, now if I tell you something, you have to promise that you won't freak out or anything like that."  Buffy stated.

"Why would I freak out?"  Dawn asked.

"Just no kinda freakin.  I mean nothing, and you have to promise."  Buffy forced.

"Fine. Fine.  I promise no matter what you tell me I won't do any kind of freaking."  Dawn whined as she raised her right hand over her heart.

Buffy glared at her small sister and took in another deep breath.  She didn't know why this was so damn hard to tell her sister.

"Okay, here it is."  Buffy inhaled.  "Spike is back."

"Yeah I kinda already know that one."  Dawn smiled.

"You don't know though that he is back and can walk in the sunlight."  Buffy said.

"Well he has always walked in the sunlight with a blanket."  Dawn said.

"Are you going to keep interrupting me Dawn?"  Buffy asked.

"I'm sorry, go on."  Dawn said.

"Okay.  Well you know how we have been seeing him everywhere all the time.  Well he is back, but I don't know where he is.  Remember that day we went to Willow's a couple weeks ago and I forgot that gift and ran home.  Well he was there behind the tree.  He stepped out from the tree in the sun, no blanket, no cover, nothing and just stood right in the sun.  He came up and talked to me on the porch.  He has a heartbeat and breath, and he feels so different, and he is the one…..the one, that…well the one that…."  Buffy stuttered.  "He's the one that has been leaving the bouquets with mom and Tara.  He is the one leaving me the notes and the flowers.  He's the one."

"The one what?"  Anya interrupted.

Buffy looked up in surprise.  She didn't even hear Anya walk through the door, and before she knew it Dawn was speaking. 

"Spike's the one."  Dawn whispered.

"Spike?"  Anya muffled became uncomfortable and walked back out of the weight room.

Buffy and Dawn just looked at each other.  Neither of them noticed Anya walking back fidgeting with her hands.  She stood between the two sisters', turned towards Buffy and looked down at her.

"I'm sorry Buffy.  I didn't know you two were...well you two were a thing…."

"Not a thing."  Buffy interrupted.

"Well whatever, I am sorry.  I didn't mean to hurt you.  I didn't mean to hurt anybody.  It was just, just…..it was just we both needed to feel better, and if I would have know he was talking about you.  I should have known he was talking about you, he always talked about you….I should have known.  I'm just...just sorry, okay.  I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sleep with him."  Anya rambled out, and before Buffy could say anything she was back out in the shop with the door shut behind her.

Buffy looked over at Dawn and rose to her feet.  She walked out of the room shutting the door behind her, and Dawn stood up and started punching at the bag again.  A small knock at the back door shook Dawn from her concentration on the bag.  She grabbed a sword off the wall and warily moved towards the door, opening it cautiously.  She stepped in front of the open door and froze, she couldn't move.  The sword fell to the ground with a thundering echo.

"Well aren't you going to invite me in Nibblet?"  Spike asked.


In the shop of the Magic Box Buffy found Anya moving around the shop cleaning up what all the customers of the day messed with.  Buffy moved over to the table and sat at one of the benches and stared as Anya walked around to the other side of the shelves.  The place looked a lot better, it still needed a little work here and there, but it didn't look a tornado came down inside of it anymore.

"Will you please sit down An?"  Buffy questioned.

She could hear Anya stop moving behind the shelf, and felt her moving closer to her.  Now that Anya was back to being Anyanka, Buffy has been able to sense her a lot better, just not all the time.  Anya came around the corner fidgeting her finger in the feathers of the duster.  She looked up at Buffy for a moment, then blushed and looked back down at the floor as she moved over to the other bench on the other side of the table.  Anya threw the duster on the table and folded her hands together.

"So, ummm how's Willow doing?"  Anya wandered.

"She's doing the same as when you saw her yesterday."  Buffy smiled.  "I didn't come in here to talk about her though."

"I...I know.  You want to talk about Spike."  Anya said.

"Well, yeah."  Buffy whispered.

"I did not mean to sleep with him.  It is not because I hate you or anything."  Anya said.  "I did it because..."

"I know why you did it Anya.  It's okay….well I mean it's not really okay, but I understand.  Spike and I are….well are in a difficult situation."  Buffy said and began fidgeting herself.

"If I would have known you have feelings for him..." 

"I don't…I mean I do, but…but things are just complicated."  Buffy stuttered.

"Because of what happened?"  Anya asked.

"A lot has happened, but it is me.  Things are just complicated because of me, and now…now things have changed."  Buffy said.

"Because he has a soul?"  Anya questioned.

"Yea...what, how...when did you see him?"  Buffy looked shocked, confused.  She had no idea anybody else knew he was here.

"Well...I mean he has come here and apologized for, well you know, and we talked about it, and he helped me fix up some stuff."  Anya replied.

"You have talked to him?"  Buffy asked.

"Yeah, we talked.  He told me what happened in Africa…"

"Africa?"  Buffy interrupted.

"Yes, that is where he got his soul.  He came here and we just talked one day.  He said he was going to see you.  He hasn't seen you yet?"  Anya wandered.

"Well he has seen me, but…..but it was…it was kind of brief and he…..he had the heartbeat and the breathing and things are so…..so different now."  Buffy stammered over the words.

"He doesn't feel like he deserves you anymore, but he still loves you."  Anya offered.

"You know about that?"  Buffy cried.

"I was able to feel the pain inside him, and see what happened.  He was hurting…and…"  Anya said and gestured at herself making a small demon growl.

Buffy whipped the couple tears that fell down her cheeks aside and stood from the table and walked over to the door.  "I don't really deserve him either."  Buffy said as she opened the door.

Anya stood up from her seat looking at Buffy.  "You know demons can love!"  Anya shouted and Buffy turned in the open doorway and stared back at her.  "I still love Xander."

Buffy smiled back at her demon friend standing in the middle of the Magic Box.  She didn't see Spike hugging her sister goodbye and walking out the back door.  Just as Dawn turned from the steel door leading into the alley, Buffy walked in the room and shut the door.  She moved over to the couch that had her bag in it and grabbed it up indicating to Dawn it was time to leave.  Dawn couldn't stop smiling as she followed her sister out through the shop saying goodbye to Anya for the night.  They both walked thru the cemetery on patrol together finding a couple vampires here and there to stake.  Dawn actually got to dust a couple tonight and Buffy couldn't be more proud of her then she was tonight.  Both a little tired from the events they headed back to Revello Drive.

"I know you shouldn't forgive him, but you both need each other."  Dawn blurted out.

"Where did that come from?"  Buffy asked looking at her sister, for the first time noticing her smile.

"He stopped by tonight."  Dawn smiled.

"He was at the Magic Box?  When?"  Buffy questioned.

"When you were in talking to Anya."  Dawn told her.

"What did he say?"  Buffy asked.

"He said a lot, but what's important is what you said not too long ago."  Dawn said.

"And what was it that I said that is about to bite me in the ass?"  Buffy smiled.

"Love makes you do the crazy."  Dawn offered.

"You heard that?"  Buffy laughed.

"Just because I don't listen, doesn't mean I don't hear."  Dawn smiled.  "You both deserve each other even though neither of you think you do for one reason or the other, you do.  He is what you need Buffy and now he has a soul, a heartbeat, and breath."

"That is no reason to love somebody."  Buffy said.

"No its not.  You love somebody because you love somebody, because you need them and want them.  You forgive somebody because it hurts too much not to.  He changed to be a better man for you, and even that isn't a reason to love somebody, but loving somebody shouldn't be a regret that wears on your shoulders because you are afraid."  Dawn said.

"How did you get so smart?"  Buffy smiled.

"From listening to you and Spike."  Dawn laughed.

They walked inside their house both heading to their individual rooms.  Dawn stood watching, as Buffy was just about to shut her door and stopped her, pulling a daisy and a note from her pocket.

"Buffy!  He wanted me to give you this."  Dawn said handing her the small tokens.

Buffy took them from her and said goodnight to her sister one last time before heading back into her room.  While shutting the door Dawn's voice echoed through her mind with her last words of the night.

"Demons can love."  Dawn offered.  "Spike loves me."


Buffy sat on her bed holding the new daisy and note in her hand.  Over the past month and a half she has at the very least gotten this at least once a day.  She hated throwing the flowers away but she had to throw some of them away.  A small box began to fill with the left notes and a few small dried daises inside.  She smelled the flower in her hand and placed it on the lid of the box and opened the small note.

Tomorrow luv, please.  At the park at noon pet.

Buffy could barely sleep through night.  She tossed and turned with images of the times she has spent with him in the past.  She went over everything in her mind.  The first time she met him in the dark alley behind the Bronze applauding her for dusting his minion, the threat of killing her spilling from his lips.  Their first fight, many of the others they have had since.  Their first kiss when she felt so sorry for him after the pain he went through for her, and then when he told her he loved her.  The words he used, he was so passionate.  The first real passionate kiss, not counting the time they were under the spell, but the one that was behind the Bronze.  Kind of a fitting place to have their first passionate kiss she mussed, you know it being the first place they met.  The thoughts of all the times they spent alone, intimately alone.  Her body tensed and shivered as she started remembering what it felt like for him to be buried inside her filling her up.  He was so amazing being inside of her.  He knew how to move in her, was able to handle the strength she bottled up when she was with a human.

"Oh my God!"  Buffy shot up in her bed.  "He's human now."

The next morning did not come quick enough for Buffy and all she did all morning was change her clothes and stare at the clock, watching it click by very slowly.  Time seemed to absolutely stop as her and Dawn sat in the kitchen.

"You know the clock isn't going to move any faster if you stare at it like that."  Dawn said.

Buffy just sat there then got up and ran upstairs.  A few minutes later she came running down the stairs blowing into the kitchen with yet another outfit on.  Red leather pants and a white spaghetti strap shirt, her hair down and curling under her face.

"How does this look?"  Buffy asked.

"It looked just as good as the outfit before that, and the one before that one, and the five others before that one."  Dawn smiled.

Buffy moved over to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice out and poured herself a glass.  Putting it back away and walking to sit down at the table with Dawn.  Dawn sat staring at her tapping her fingers on the table.  A few minutes of that and Buffy slapped her hand over Dawn's quieting the room once again.

"Do you have to do that?"  Buffy asked.

"What are you gonna say?"  Dawn ignored her question.

"Are you going to stop with the tapping?"  Buffy asked.

"I've already stopped."  Dawn smiled and slipped her hand out from under Buffy's.  "What are you gonna say?"

"I don't know."  Buffy said and stood up running back up the stairs.

Buffy ran down the stairs this time in a pale yellow sundress.  Her tanned body seemingly darker under the garment, and white low strappy heels, making her look taller then she really was.  Her hair pulled back away from her face with little bit of strands cupping around her face.  She stood in the kitchen and noticed Dawn wasn't there anymore and ran into the living room.

"How about this one?"  Buffy asked as she spun around and the dress lifted slightly from her legs.

"You look beautiful Buffy."  Dawn said.  "Stop changing it is almost time for you to leave."

"What time is it?"  Buffy asked.

"It's 11:30.  You need to leave really soon."  Dawn stated.

Buffy moved to the door grabbing her keys and sunglasses from the end table and opening the door.

"What are you gonna say?"  Dawn hollered.

"I don't know!"  Buffy yelled back shutting the door as she walked out of the house.

Buffy walked through the park impatiently looking around to see where Spike was.  She stopped for a moment and looked around at all the children playing in the park and watched as they all ran around chasing one another.  Spike moved out of the shadows of the tree and stood behind her in the sunlight.

"I'm glad you came Buffy."  Spike smiled.

Her knees felt weak as her name dripped over his lips.  Spike felt like his chest was going to explode staring at her gorgeous body in the sunlight.  She was so amazing, but the light made her look like a fallen angel the gods were asking to come back home.  Both of them caught their breath in their throat as their thoughts took them away for a moment.  Buffy turned on her heel to look at him and her heart began to race as his pale face lit up in the sun.  She lifted her glasses to see him better and he got lost in her eyes.  He could tell she wanted to say something.

"What are going to say, luv?"  Spike questioned.

"I….I don't know."  Buffy whispered.

"Maybe you wanna ask me something pet?"  Spike wandered.

Buffy laid her small hand on his chest and felt his beating heart thunder under his warm flesh.  "Are you...are you..."

"Am I human?"  Spike interrupted.

"Yeah are you human?"  Buffy mumbled.

"Just because I have a soul and heartbeat?"  Spike asked.

"Yeah...I mean...I mean no."  Buffy muttered.  "I was just, just wandering."

"Would it change anything if I were human?"  Spike inquired.

"I don't know.  I don't think so."  Buffy said.

"Would you miss this?"  Spike asked shaking his head morphing into the vampire he is.

Buffy gasped and slid her hand up his chest, feeling his pulse at his neck as she grazed her fingertips over the lumps of his face.  Feeling the monster that lurked behind the man he is.

"It's part of you and I…..I would miss you."  Buffy cried.  "I missed you."

"I missed you too."  Spike said.  He shook his head again shaking off the demon.  His face was perfect, pale from over a 100 years of darkness as he leaned into her lips hesitantly.

Spike stopped right before he touched her lips with his.  Buffy moved her hand to the back of his neck and pulled him down caressing his bottom lip with her tongue asking for entrance.  Spike obliged and opened up to her tasting her purely for the first time, out in the sun, the way she deserved to be tasted.  She poured herself into him, gave him what she has been holding back since their first kiss.  She gave him all of her, her pain, her want, her need and passion, and her love.  Spike broke from her lips needing to take a breath. 

Buffy leaned into his chest and listened to his heartbeat and began to cry in his arms.  Spike held her a little tighter to him.

"What is it luv?"  Spike asked.

"It hurts."  Buffy whimpered.

"What hurts?"  Spike was concerned and moved her face to look down into her eyes.

"It hurts not to forgive you.  It hurts not to forgive myself."  Buffy cried.

"I know it hurts."  Spike offered.  "I hurt too.  I will walk away if you want me to Buffy.  I know I hurt you."

Spike let go of her and started to back away, and Buffy stood there staring into his blue eyes.  He moved into the shadows of the trees, fading away into the darkness.

"Spike!"  Buffy yelled before he was gone.

Spike stopped in the shadows and watched as Buffy began walking towards him slowly.  Each foot moving in front of the other as her hips swayed in the light.  The few strands of hair bounced around her face as she moved closer to him and into the shadows with him.

"Do you really want to walk in the shadows with me Buffy?"  Spike asked.

"Do you really want to walk in the daylight with me Spike?"  Buffy retorted.

"I would want to walk through Hell if I thought for one moment I would be able to do it with you."  Spike said. 

"I guess love just make you do the crazy."  Buffy smiled.

"Love hurts."  Spike whispered and moved closer to her dipping his head down to hers.  Buffy closed her eyes and felt his lips gently caress her bottom lip warming up her senses, sending shivers down her spine, making her heart melt.  He pulled away moving his lips to her ear nipping at the tender skin of her earlobe and at her neck, feeling her pulse beneath his lips.

"It hurts in all the right places."  Spike whispered to her.

When Buffy opened her eyes he was gone.