DISCLAIMER- I don't want no paperwork, so grudgingly deny all ownership
TIMEZONE- Future, set after Season Five premiere and Angel S2 premiere
SPOILERS- Yes- all seasons of both series, up to the beginning eps of the latest ones
FEEDBACK- Please! water_stream@yahoo.co.uk
RATING- R max, but doubtful it'll be that high
AUTHORS NOTE- I'm sorry, I have had this idea on my mind all week and couldn't sleep until I'd started it. If anyone has started the same thing recently, just say/shout and I'll stop writing, I don't want to annoy anyone. Also sorry (lots today!) that I haven't continued yet with Big Sisters Clothes, it's been a busy week- honest- but I'll keep both of them going, although to be truthful I'm considering stopping BSC anyway (very distinct possibility, have to think about it before I decide). This is not a replacement for it- this fic is based on the fact Buffy and Angel aren't together yet (again for me! sorry, i love finding new ways to get Riley out of the picture)Ooh and this isn't going to be great work- hey, it's 10 to 1 AM, so I'd be surprised if it's even coherent!
SUMMARY- I realise similar fic's have been done on this principle before, but to my defence I haven't actually seen any yet. Angel loses his memory, only remembering stuff up to BAD EGGS, leaving only Buffy to help him regain it, despite the pain it'll cause as they walk down memory road

PART ONE

Angel crashed backwards into the trash cans noisily, yet nobody came into the back alley to help him or even check as the fight against a pointy headed demon continued. He growled and stood up, albeit woosily, then charged again. He didn't dare tend to his wounds, even for a second, lest the demon would run. He had one chance to kill it, and that was now.

Cordelia had seen it in a vision, sucking out the energy of some schmo from the inside, leaving a dead carcass behind. It was only early on a Monday night, and not really what she wanted to start a brand new week with- a blinding headache. But Angel being Angel, and Cordy having a conscience, she gave the rough address and let him walk into the night with his coat billowing seductively behind him.

The demon attacked again, on the defensive. After much struggling, Angel managed to grab his dagger from his pocket and heft it's slimy head off, after a few botched tries. He sighed deeply and checked the cuts all over his body, superficial as they were, they hurt a lot. Disorientated, he attempted to walk back into the hazy street. As he was crossing the road, a scream caught his ears and he turned instinctively towards it, ready for more action. A woman was screeching over her boyfriend, who it looked like had only just proposed to her.

"That's nice" Angel thought weakly as he turned back to the road.

And being hit full onslaught by a car.

Knocked off the bonnet at top speed, Angel was hurled back across the road with a smash, falling near the alley he'd first come out of.

"Oh my god!"

The girl who had been proposed to ran over to the lifeless body and checked his neck.

"There's no pulse!" the girl shouted, exasperated.

*

Things were hazy, like a thick fog. Gradually, as time passed, Angel could see figures crowded around him. A girl leant over and he smelt her perfume.

"B.Buffy?"

She moved her head in slow motion, indicating 'no'. He thought. He turned to vaguely see a new blobby shape form in front of him- his perception adjusting enough to work out it was a man hovering over him.

"We're taking you to a hospital, you're bleeding heavily."

A hospital? It took a moment, but Angel finally processed that he wouldn't survive the morning there, after sunrise.

"No…I'm ok….really…"

He stood up, erratically, with movements that both shocked and scared his audience enough so that nobody moved to his aid or to stop him.

"Where am I?"

"Los Angeles" Came the incredulous reply

"Los Angeles?!"

How? Only moments ago, he was at his apartment, thinking about his evening with Buffy, her stuck in her house and him on a ladder. How did he get to Los Angeles?! Magic? Some trick by a demon? It wasn't a dream…

He clumsily managed to start walking, which turned into a jog.

He had to get home.

He had to get to Buffy.

*

Angel got off the bus and glanced at the sky, noticing it was nearly dawn so he'd have to quickly rush back to his apartment. Passing through the streets, things seemed different, but he wasn't really concerned with that seeing as he'd somehow woken up to find himself plonked in Los Angeles and covered with blood.

A he reached the building, he reached into his pocket for keys, but they weren't there.

"Damn. First you shove me in Kansas, then you steal my keys"

Feeling far too weak and tired to deal with it, he turned and walked to Buffy's, figuring that if she let him, he could stay there for the night. He'd done it before, and she'd want to hear about the craziness he'd been through that night. Her mom had grounded her, but if he was silent he could creep in, maybe she'd be able to hear him if he threw stones at her window.

As he crawled up to it, he felt guilty. Somehow, stone throwing felt like stalking. Then again, it was also a romantic gesture, it depended really on how Buffy interpreted it.

TAP- TAP

Buffy groaned and turned over in her bed, positioning herself better into Riley's arms.

TAP- TAP

Grr. What was that?

Riley kept snoring oblivious, but the noise was deafening to her in the silence that was being broken.

TAP TAP

She glanced at the closed window, wary. She waited a second to be sure there really was a noise, then timidly crept up to it and counted down, three to one, swinging it open as she finished.

Angel nearly fell off the roof and tried to hold on to some vines rather than slip onto the ground.

"Of all possible scenarios, that wasn't one of them" he hissed to the Slayer quietly, aware that any more noise could wake the neighbourhood up.

Buffy stood still, shocked beyond belief. Her ex lover was knocking on her bedroom window! She glanced back to the bed and her slumbering Riley, suddenly aware that this would be a very difficult predicament. His demeanour was obviously not of Angelus, but she did for a second wonder if the bad-ass stalker had returned or not. But no, it was her plain old ex vampire 'boytoy', which was much, much, harder to believe.

"Angel?" she whispered to him as low as she possibly could "What the *hell* are you doing here? After the last time…"

"Sorry, but I kind of have a problem"

"And you're climbing on roofs to solve it? In Sunnydale?"

"Something weird's happened to me. I'm all bloody, and I lost my keys and it's nearly sunrise. I wouldn't ask, but I've got no where else to go. Can I stay till tomorrow night? I'll hide in the cupboard during the day like last time…" he smiled at that, the memory still fresh. It was the closest they'd been physically so far, and being near Buffy electrified him completely. His body yearned for her, but she wasn't yet 17 and he was 250+. He licked his dry lips and waited as she considered. She looked different, namely frazzled, but also older.

It took a pain-staking while, but she finally agreed and helped him into the room

"Take a shower, I'll get you some towels and clothes- Riley's will have to do." She hurried him out of the room, preying he wouldn't see Riley sleeping in her bed- the ultimate crime against him, even after all this time. Like he'd once said, he couldn't move on, and she knew it'd hurt him to see Riley in all his glory again, and this time she wanted to spare his grief rather than provoke it.

But the mere mention of his name received a jolt reaction from Angel, one she didn't expect. One of confusion.

"Who is Riley-" he started, turning around in time to glance a naked man in her bed.

She closed the door behind her guiltily.

It ached. Angel stepped back into the passage wall and bit his lip so he wouldn't scream. They'd never said they were exclusive, and they were barely into their relationship, but he thought they *had* something. Something real, something pure. Something human. His body burned in hurt, in pain. He loved her- he shouldn't but he did- completely, body mind and soul. And to know that meant nothing to her- she had said she loved him- they were only kissing hours earlier, now she was sleeping with someone? Buffy? She couldn't be, it didn't make sense, it couldn't…

He collapsed in sobs, a broken man. Curled up on the floor, Buffy watched helplessly. What was wrong with him? It naturally came to her to touch him lightly on the shoulder for comfort, but he recoiled harshly, so she drew back.

His sobs became louder. He was still disorientated after what happened in LA, and now the woman he'd devoted himself to had betrayed him.

Buffy knelt next to him.

"Angel, ssh. You'll wake my sister…"

He managed to hear this, and realise it's meaning. A sister- something else from her other life, her non-slayer life she'd kept from him.

"I, I'll go" he abruptly stood up and turned to leave.

"But it'll be light by now, you can't risk it"

"Maybe that's best."

He reached the door and almost opened it when Buffy jolted it shut again.

"Talk to me. What's wrong?"

He stared at her for a second.

"Don't you know? You! You don't care that I've found out about your affair? Don't I mean anything to you? Not enough to worry about me catching you, anyway"

"You did mean something to me…" she sighed, not wanting to remember. But it was hard, seeing him, feeling his presence, tasting his soul. Soon, she'd be too high on it to survive till morning.

"What changed? Was because of Drusilla?…I had to tell you…" his voice drifted off

"Drusilla? What? She's back?"

"She's dead, I-"

"Woah, Spike'll be disappointed, but that's why you're sad?!"

Buffy looked away. Oh my god, he can't love her, can he?

"Buffy, Spike's dead too and I'm 'sad' that you've cheated on me"

He turned to leave again, but this time she physically pulled him back.

"Spike is very much alive, and we've been apart for a long time. Angel, have you been drinking?"

He just stared at her, uncomprehending. Suddenly, it dawned on her.

"Angel, you said you're covered in blood. Where were you when you realised this?"

"Los Angeles…I think some demon jinxed me there"

"Oh my god, Angel…What do you remember before that? The next memory?"

"You and me kissing, I was on a ladder outside your room. I left it over there, but it's gone now" he motioned to the window, despite being at the front door and nowhere near it.

Buffy thought hard. When was that? They'd kissed through that window so many times…

"Bezoar!" she shouted, feeling like she'd hit jackpot "I was grounded and you climbed a ladder for me, I remember"

"Right, which also proves that I mean nothing to you if you can't even remember a few hours ago"

"Angel, but it wasn't hours. It was years. Nearly three, actually"

"WHAT?!"

Angel's entire body shook, and Buffy pulled him to her as he tried to deal with what had happened.

"You have amnesia, you've forgotten three years of history" she whispered into his ear.

But all he could think of was what could have happened to make him lose her, after all they'd been through.

And how many of those years had they been apart?

Go to Part 2