The pale moon was overshadowed by the brilliant, burning sun in the sky. Angel and Buffy sat peacefully on the picnic cloth, lying back in each others arms, basking in the heat. It was incredibly surreal, they both agreed. The grass was light green, the sky a tower of colours. The view was fantastic too- Sunnydale's Annual Boat Race was on the canal and the couple were in a good position to see it.

Not that they were watching, they only had eyes for themselves. And after all they'd been through, that was a reasonable thing to do. Life was just beginning, they both felt it. Angel was wearing a white shirt and beige trousers, Buffy wore a strappy blue dress. No more dark, blood concealing colours. No clothes to indicate brooding feelings. Angel was happy, Buffy was happy, and this was all that mattered.

"Mmm." Buffy murmured, feeling her skin being tanned by the sun. She had her eyes closed, but knew Angel was hovering over her as he kept tickling her nose with a flower.

She opened her eyes in a lazy fashion and smiled a huge smile when she saw Angel grinning back.

"What'cha smiling at?" she asked in a teasing voice.

"You. My human goddess."

Buffy leant up and kissed him.

"Yeah, I can accept that." she said. "I mean, goddesses have superpowers, don't they?"

"You like that? I was scared it sounded too corny"

"Tip for the next eighty odd years we're together, keep spieling those kind of phrases. Human Goddess is kind of hard to beat, though"

Angel grabbed her and she giggled as he caressed her neck with his lips.

"How about beloved?"

Buffy threw her hands around his neck in happiness. They looked at each other, noses touching.

"Even better!" Buffy said.

They kissed again, but for longer. People walking by didn't pay much attention. They hadn't any idea of how much Buffy and Angel had gone through. The separations, the End of Days, the fights, the heartache..

Angel was now human. Buffy had dumped Riley. The End of Days had been and gone, without any major bad consequences. Things were so good now, it was hard to believe this was all real. But the End of Days had brought to an 'end' all the demons thriving on Earth. Buffy was now a vampire slayer without a vocation, and Angel was now human without any powers. Most people retired in their sixties, but for these two retirement had come forty odd years early. The rest of their lives were now considered a vacation, and they intended to enjoy it.

Angel reached his hand over her and picked up his glass of Pineapple Juice. He took a swig and then put his sunglasses back on. He was about to lie back on the cloth when Buffy sat up urgently.

"You need some suntan lotion, you don't want to risk skin cancer after all it took to become human!" Buffy exclaimed.

A boy walking past stared at them, but Buffy and Angel made funny faces and the kid ran away. The lovers laughed.

"Yes, you're right as usual" added Angel, wiping his sweating forehead "Could you.?"

They hadn't been out for long, but it was so hot that a snowman visiting the neighbourhood wouldn't even be able to take one step forward before disintegrating.

"I'd love to!" Buffy squealed, grabbing the lotion and helping Angel lie down on his stomach.

Rubbing it in, the couple began to talk about their new apartment. After the End of Days was all dealt with, they'd tried to buy the mansion back but to no avail. And with their impending wedding, they couldn't afford to buy anything massive anyway, choosing a kooky little building instead.

Angel moaned happily from below the sun tan lotion. Buffy stopped and shook her head in disbelief. If she'd been told this was going to happen a few years ago, she'd never have believed it. But feeling Angel's heart beat-

*thump thump* *thump thump*

-hearing his soft breath, seeing him have problems fixing the sink, or trying to do some weightlifting to hysteric results.

It was wonderful.

"I don't deserve to be this happy" she cried, causing Angel to sit up and immediately hold her.

"That's weird as I can't think of anyone who deserves happiness more" he replied, kissing her hands passionately.

"How about you? You deserve it more than me. All that guilt because of Angelus, trying to right his wrongs which was never your fault."

"Seeing you happy makes me happy" Angel confided. "It's because I love you, and if you can't accept our joyous relationship with the perks of sex, children, talking, growing old together and spending our afterlife entwined in ecstasy, I suggest you say now or forever hold your peace"

As he said this, Buffy's radiance returned, and she held onto his hand tightly. "I've never felt so whole before. Since we got back together, It's like things are falling back into place. You make me."

"Wow, I'm the one with hundreds of years of knowledge and I could never have put it better. That's how I feel too" Angel said quietly.

They held each other tightly for a while, discussing anything and everything in witty banter, as they usually did. They sometimes had 'happiness guilt' as Willow affectionately called it, but it was pretty sparse now. They mainly just enjoyed living together.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Buffy.

"Have you picked up your tux yet?" she asked Angel.

"Tux?"

"For Giles' Bachelor party, silly! It's on Saturday, he did invite you, I left the envelope on your bedside table"

Angel strained his memory, but nope, he didn't remember this. With his own marriage plans, it was very confusing helping Giles prepare for his marriage to Olivia too. Surprisingly, the happy couple had decided to marry in America, despite all their relatives been in the UK. This was surprising because Buffy and Angel had a penchant to marrying in Ireland, meaning all the guests would be going to other countries, letting wackiness ensue. It had been a very expensive few months.

"I'll uh get it later tonight."

"Hmmm" was all Buffy replied.

They sat and watched the boat race. Suddenly, their concentration was drawn to a rowdy family - at least fifteen people from kids to grandparents- walking by, obviously on a day out. They were making a lot of noise about going to the lake to row small boats themselves, inspired by the race. The adults were arguing they'd need at least four of five of the boats for them all to have a chance at rowing, but there probably wouldn't be that many boats left on such a busy day.

The kids began to whine.

"I know what will calm you down" said Angel suddenly, hoisting Buffy onto her feet.

"I'm not tense!" Buffy tried to explain without much luck.

"How about we rent a small boat too?"

"What?! Now?"

"Why not?"

Buffy considered. "We'd better pack this all up quickly, then. If that family gets there first, we'd have no chance of finding one"

She grabbed the picnic basket and Angel took the cloth. They rapidly began to run down the path, laughing, joking, having the time of their life. Buffy was in front of Angel, as a Slayer she was a fast runner, but she didn't seem to be running as fast as usual, probably not to upset Angel. She suddenly tripped and fell flat on the ground.

"Buffy!"

Angel caught up with her, but as he leaned down he realised she wasn't hurt.

"Just scratched" she said, wiping her dress.

"You had me worried!" Angel tutted, heartbeat returning to normal.

"Yeah well I like to keep you on your toes. Help me up like a gentlemen why don't you?" Buffy asked, grinning.

"Of course I will" Angel said, offering a hand. "I love you, you know"

"Me too, with you" Buffy replied

"Beloved" they both said at the same time.

They kissed again. This may have felt like a fantasy but they only had to hold each other to know it was real life. Their dreams had come true.

***

They were wrong. Their dreams held them hostage.

***

Buffy's pale hand was grasped in two warm ones and brought to the young man's chest for comfort. He kissed it twice and rubbed it gently, hoping to boost her circulation.

"Buffy?" Riley said, leaning his head next to her ear. "I know you can hear me. Do you remember that I visited you last night? I said I was going to have to go home, but I.. I fell asleep. I had to be woken, escorted out. But I came back as soon as it was light. I always do. I love you."

He sat back, hoping for a response. But he didn't get any. He never did.

There she laid. Almost a year now, trapped in a sterile hospital bed. Eyes closed. Heart closed. Mind closed. A coma in which she'd never wake up from. She had entered this room unconscious ten months ago and hadn't left it since.

Riley sighed quietly and stroked her dull hair.

"Just..please wake up" He choked.

A familiar hand rested on his shoulders. He looked up, eyes watering, and tried to smile at Willow. But he couldn't. it was all too devastatingly real. Buffy was in a coma. Her life now consisted of dreams.

"What do you think she's dreaming?" he asked Willow.

"Maybe nothing, maybe happier times. Maybe other stuff. We'll ask her when she wakes up" she said, walking around the bed. "She might not even be dreaming. She might be listening to us, laughing over how w- worried we all are..."

She silently cried into her hands.

Willow had arrived with Xander and Giles, the core Scooby's. They hadn't been permitted access the day before, Joyce hadn't allowed it, so had come now instead. The day before had been Buffy's 22nd Birthday, and because relations with her mother were now strained, the gang had to keep their distance. Riley seemed to be the only one with 24/7 access, this being because he had struck up a mother-son relationship with Joyce over the last twelve months.

Xander held back outside for a bit, deciding to wait until Riley left. They kept having confrontations every time they met. Instead he put his hand to the windows glass, watching Willow and Giles check on Buffy and feeling new tears fall down his face.

*

Wesley followed Cordelia into her apartment as fast as he humanly could.

"Are you sure?" he asked, excitedly.

"Yes already! He's moving his arm, I saw it. It's kind of jigging. Oh my god, I'm so excited, he's waking up!"

They ran into the small bedroom and hovered over Angel's cold, unmoving body. He looked like he was comfortably asleep, but a further inspection showed that this was a deeper sleep than was healthy. Angel too was in a coma, unconscious to the world.

Wesley glanced at Cordelia, not venturing to correct her mistake out of kindness. Cordelia looked back, beside herself with grief.

"But I saw it!" she shouted. "He was!"

"It must have been your imagination, you need to get out of here more often, Cordy. This is affecting you. I'm worried."

The noise seemed unnatural in this room. Even though Angel wasn't able to hear, his faithful friends were usually quiet when they entered. Cordelia's hysterical reaction shocked even Wesley. He grabbed and held her as she broke down and sobbed into his arms.

"He's not waking up, is he?" she cried. "After everything we've gone through. He's not waking up, because of *her*."

"It's not Buffy's fault he ended up like this, she didn't know" Wesley reasoned.

"But it *is* her fault! It is! This all started with her!"

*

Buffy had been attacked by a demon 10 months ago.

It was a rigorous attack. There was no warning deaths or prophecies. Buffy had simply begun hunting through the cemetery's one night as she usually did, and never come back home. Nobody saw it, but from the marks on the ground, the wounds she sustained and the sightings reported, Giles had managed to piece together what attacked her and what had happened. She had been torn apart by a Gosberth demon- a wild animalistic creature- which she'd managed to kill, as Giles proved, because these demons disintegrated into ash and such ash was found on the scene. Because her damage was so overwhelming, Buffy had fallen unconscious almost immediately. A pot smoking teenager found her, and had thankfully taken her to the hospital, where Joyce was informed of her daughters critical condition.

Xander closed his eyes in empathy. Buffy must have thought she was dying. Taking her last gasps of air, thinking her last thoughts, crying for her soul mate to return. Ceasing to exist.

"Excuse me, you can go in, you know" a kind voice interrupted his torment. Turning, a young, obviously new, nurse was smiling warmly at him. Inviting him to open up.

"No. Thanks. Riley's in there, we don't get along." Xander said.

"Riley's her fiancé, isn't he? I've seen him here many times. I don't think he ever leaves the hospital. He must deeply love her" she said, following Xander's gaze.

*

Angel was doing fine as a Private Investigator when the urgent message came from Giles that Buffy had been seriously hurt. Cordelia remembered that day well, how Angel's entire persona had crumbled before her as he dropped the phone in correlation. News of Buffy's condition strove him immediately to Sunnydale. But Buffy's mother had denied access, and Riley had announced their engagement. Nothing could have hurt him more- NOTHING- than hearing this. Not only had Angel lost his soul mates body to the coma, but her soul to another man.

It was this that made him realised that leaving her for her own good was an idiotic idea. They were always fighting death, why did he think separating them would be better? Which was the best plan? Spending an immortality without her, or a few intense years with her? they may not have had a chance of being a normal couple, but at least they had been together- nothing else came close to that.

Angel was gutted. Devastated. Torn in half. For the next four months he sneaked into her room during the night, and watched over her comatose slumber like a guardian angel until dawn. He loved her, and she had been taken away from him.

And Riley never knew of his visits. Riley might have been her fiancé, but Angel was Buffy's soulmate. The kid couldn't stop him from visiting as long as it wasn't on his time.

But Buffy's hand always betrayed the ring. The engagement ring which signified her love for another man.

*

Xander laughed dryly. "No, he's only her boyfriend. Or was before the.accident."

"But they have rings-"

"He'd proposed to Buffy earlier that day, he was expecting an answer that night. He never got his answer, but he acts like she'd said 'yes'. I guess he just guessed."

"Poor kid" the nurse said sympathetically "Do you think she was going to accept?"

"I don't know." Xander admitted.

Honestly, he doubted it, but the other nurses never seemed to accept that theory when he mentioned it. Why would this one be any different? Best to let them indulge in silly romantic sympathy.

*

Angel was never the same again. Cordelia thought this as she opened the front door and let Wesley out of her flat. She returned to Angel's room and watched him mournfully. The guy had a death wish. Almost straight away after that phone call, things changed. He blocked himself away from those he loved, and simply fought evil by himself. He forgot to get emotionally involved. Find, Kill, Save. That was all he had left.

When she discovered his body slumped unconscious outside the hotel, it wasn't a surprise. It was clear to everybody that Angel had sought just this. He'd kept on fighting until somebody inevitably had won and left him for dead. They never knew what had left him in such a macabre, bloodied state, but it had worked. He was now in a coma.

Whatever ill chosen reasons he had, Angel now had what he wanted. He was dead to the world, possibly forever. Buffy had drove him there because she was dead to the world too. He was lonely for her, a lone wolf. Cordy wondered if it was a conscious desire to die or if Angel never realised his self destruction. She often asked him in the mornings before going to work, although he couldn't answer.

How vampires could be in comas was beyond Cordy's scope of thought, but Wesley had explained it was entirely logical. Something about demons having minds which made it possible. it was far too complicated for her.

That was six months ago. He'd been asleep ever since. Another Warrior taken from the cause. Cordy had insisted that he be kept in her apartment, despite the risks that if (when?) Angel woke up, the demon might be back in control rather than the soul. Unlikely, but possible after such a long period of inactivity. But Cordy was having none of it. Angel was staying with her, end of discussion.

"Do you think he dreams?" She had asked Gunn when he'd visited earlier.

"Sure, I bet he's having a world of fun." He'd replied

"That's what Wesley said. That he's probably with her.. maybe.." she had turned to face Gunn as she said it "I hope so. He needs some happiness"

What was reassuring was that Wesley had added that Angel should wake up from his coma one day. There was no reason not to, Angel was a vampire with a stronger body and mind. The real problem was, as Wesley said pointedly, did Angel WANT to wake up? Without Buffy, he had nothing else to tie him to this world. And if he didn't want to return to the land of the living, nobody could ever make him. It had been his decision- or karma- to disable himself, and it was his decision to wake up.

"So what can we do?" Cordelia had wailed when told this.

"Nothing." Wesley had said. "We can only wait and see."

Cordelia thought about this once again and sadly closed the door to Angel's room behind her.

She was willing to wait forever. Hers was a platonic love.

*

"She still might, we fully expect her to wake up one day." The nurse offered hopefully.

"You really think she will?" Xander asked, returning his gaze to the room.

"Sure. I know it's difficult to believe, but it's possible. The doctors wouldn't have said so if they didn't have hope."

"It's already been months. But it could be more weeks, years.. you mean that we should just wait?"

The nurse nodded, but Xander didn't see her reaction. She hung back for a reply, but without getting any took the hint. She squeezed Xander's arm and walked past to continue with her errands, leaving him by himself.

Xander didn't even feel it. He kept looking at Buffy's pale form tucked neatly into bed. Willow and Giles talking as if Buffy could hear them. Riley protectively holding her hand. The optimist was still waiting for that answer. They were all waiting.

"Just wait." He repeated scornfully under his breath, rubbing the glass of the window as it steamed up.

Go to the sequel I'm Aching For You

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