The Buffy ABC's

by Alee

Rating: PG
Summary: a little humor in the current den of horror that is S6/S3
Spoilers: very little ones for this week's "Angel" (is it called Forgiveness?)
Feedback: let me know: K401alh@aol.com
Author's notes: there are some strange grammatic structures used below -- go with it and enjoy the rhyme :)


"A" is for Angel
angsting sad and alone
if it's the death of Dork!Angel
then I'm glad Connor's gone.

"B" is for Buffy
resurrected in Sunny'
she hooked up with Spike
and they _____ like bunnies

"C" is for Cordy
a saint, now, they say
the return of "Queen C"
would brighten my day

"D" is for Doyle
gone, but not forgot
anyone else think his return
would REALLY help the plot?

"E" is for Eeeeeeeeeew
the word that I said
when they showed Angel's room
with Darla in his bed

"F" is for 'fun'
and for 'fight', and for.. *ahem*
for 'fanfic', the only place where
the writers are nice to them

"G" is for Glory
who tried to kill Dawn
she was a lame plot device
we're glad the 'god' is gone

"H" is for Hellmouth
where trouble is always brewing
if the gang's not fighting evil
in their own problems they're stewing

"I" is for illusion
a false prophecy
which led to bad judgment
and human idiocy

"J" is for jail
where Faith's cooling her heels
I guess that's what happens
when someone's body you steal...

"K" is for Kendra
the latest in a chain
of early-death Slayers
at least we knew her name

"L" is for love
or maybe just for lust
Marti seems to confuse the two
Which leaves me in disgust

"M" is for marriage
a pledge that's for two
remember that claddagh ring?
I think it's binding, don't you?

"N" is for nervous
and for wiping of the glasses
like we used to see from Giles
when he was around to save their asses

"O" is for optimism
and for hope that never dies
for those for whom B/A dreams
still bring tears of joy to the eyes

"P" is for patience
for watching in spite
of the hundreds of things
that just are not right

"Q" is for quest
for the promise of humanity
though the journey to get there
may drive viewers to insanity

"R" is for Restfield
with it's seldom quiet graves
it's from these rising demons
the population Buffy saves

"S" is for Spike
whom I oft now want to smack
I wish he'd re-grow a pair
and bring Drusilla back

"T" is for torture
for impalings, stabbings, and more
one thing we can depend on --
the shows have lots of gore

"U" is for undead
for creatures great and small
who never stay quite dead
and thus entertain us all

"V" is for vampires
who prowl about the night
searching for their prey
in leather pants so tight

"W" is for Wesley
who needs hugs and chicken soup
and an even larger dose
of sweet, romantic shmoop

"X" is for the rating
we wish that we could see
with Buffy and Angel together
naked beneath the sheets

"Y" is for young
as in characters that stay forever
thought has anyone else noticed
that they're ALL aging together?

"Z" is for zebra
which has nothing to do with "Buffy"
but it's the only word I could think of
so don't get too huffy!

The End

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