Disclaimer: I do not own anyone you know from Angel or Buffy. I do own Sally, Marnie, Samantha, Marilla, Judi, Josh, Dawna, Jyll, Laura, Emma Jayne, Rudy, Tessa, Mike Simpson. The title is from John Marsden's book So Much to Tell You.
Authoress's Note: This came to me after I read the book.
Feedback: Please send me some feedback so I can make the sequel even better.
12th November 2006
Dear Buffy,
In three days its our anniversary of becoming immortal. Aren't you excited? I heard from Giles a few days ago- he's well. Did you hear Xander and Cordelia are getting married? Isn't it fantastic! Anya is now with that Brachen demon, Doyle. I guess that's almost logical.
How is good old Sunnydale? Still spitting up those nasty hell spawn? I'm coming back to Sunnydale for Christmas, like Oz and Xander and Cordelia and Anya and Doyle and I should put some ',' shouldn't I?
I heard Riley married early last year and now has a son called... Rudy. Ugh.
Amy Madison's daughter Emma Jane is two today.
I won an award for my software yesterday. Cordelia is in a movie version of The Baby Sitters Club.. she's playing Mary Anne or Claudia; she hasn't been told yet.
Miss You Tons.
WILLOW
20th November 2006
Dear Willow
I received your letter yesterday. Fab news about Cordy and Xander. I always knew Anya would be tempted by Doyle.
Sunnydale's good- still spitting up hellspawn. I miss you guys- I mean Giles and Mum are off in Canada, Xander, Cordy, Doyle and Anya in Chicago, you in London and Oz touring- it gets lonely.
I'm sitting on my bed, a cup of tea, patting Josephine. Being the librarian sure is hard work. I respect Giles now. Well more than before anyway.
No one bothers to write anymore, 'cept you. Mostly I get bills. Isn't it funny that they can take like one day to post a phone bill from Australia to here, but several weeks from you in London to here. Some things I will never understand.
Congrats on the award.
Buffy ->->->@
17th November 2006
Dearest Buffy,
I know now you probably hate me, but I'm going to write anyway. Maybe I've fallen in love with you all over again.
I heard Oz's band on the radio this morning. They're good.
I'm still in LA, living like I did eighty four years previous. I'm coming to see you Christmas Day- to say hello and see if you're still as head-over-heels in love with me as I am with you.
Love Always, Angel
30th November 2006
Dear Angel,
Thank you for your letter. Yes I am as in love with you. I dropped college early this semester. I just don't think I need to waste the shortened life I have opening text books. I run Sunnydale High's library. That's sort of fun. I have a cat called Josephine. She's gorgeous.
My latest boyfriend and I broke up over 18 months ago- I caught him in bed with another girl. I dealt. I mean I'm going to die really soon, so I guess if no one loves me, no one will hurt.
Please come for Christmas.
Buffy.
December 1st 2006
Dear Buffy,
Guess what? Oz, Cordy, Xander, Anya, Doyle and I met up in England! It was fantastic! We went out to lunch and went shopping for Christmas and everything. How's things? We're all coming for Christmas. Remember that.
God I miss you so much. Promise to move back to Sunnydale one day
Wills
December 2nd 2006
Dear Buffy,
I was just making sure you are well. Canada is lovely. Rupert and I enjoy it. I can not wait to see you. Christmas should be fun.
Have you got a new boyfriend? I can't wait to see you walk down the isle with the man of your dreams
Please write, I'm sorry for the past.
Joyce Summers Giles
5th December 2006
Dear Buffy,
Can't wait to see you. Missed you terribly. See you on the 25th.
Cordy and Xand
10th December 2006
Dear Buffy,
I haven't heard from you in ages. Please write. Guess what? Oz and I are back together! Are you planning a wedding in the near future (hint , hint)? I'm packing my bags tonight, I have a meeting in an hour.
Have you spoken to Angel recently? I got Giles this book, an old Watcher's journal
Please write back,
Willow
13th December 2006
Dear Buffy, Thank you for your note. It is worth its weight in gold.
Angel
17th December
Dear Angel,
I need to pour my heart out to someone, and you were always perfect for that. Mum expects me to forgive her. How can I? I hate her so bad. And Willow! She keeps telling me to get married. No. This New Years Day I'm going to die. I just can't handle it anymore. I don't know anybody these days. All because I have to save the world. I've been alone since I was nineteen.
I'm so, so sorry for this self pity fest.
Buffy
21st December 2006
Dear Buffy,
What did your mother do to you? Don't kill yourself. Please. I love you so much it hurts.
Angel.
20th December 2006
Write to me Buffy!!! I'm coming 9 pm 24th December.
Willow
22nd December 2006.
Dear Angel,
My mother put me in jail for the murders of Ms Calendar and Kendra. It all started the second year of college, me and the gang were reminiscing and their deaths came up. My mother came up and half listened to the conversation and reported me. I went to court. When questioned, it looked like I was the killer. Accidental Murder. Four years, I got out eleven years early on good behavior.
So now you understand why I hate this life so bad.
Buffy Anne
A Few Days Later- Buffy's POV
"Merry Christmas!" someone called. I padded out and opened the door, smiling. All my friends walked in. Mum walked in nervously. I had seen her checking my face for scars, but since she didn't see any, I was fine. Ha. There are huge mental scars and several on my stomach, back and legs. I smile wanly and lead them in.
" You look well Buffy," Giles hugs me. I hug back.
"I am better," I admit. The letters to and from Angel had soothed me a bit.
"Therapy helping?" Anya asked plopping onto my sofa. I shook my head.
"I gave that up ages ago," I pour drinks out. "Christmas eve, guys. Lets do something fun."
"Bronze." That was the unanimous decision. I shrug. The Bronze was a bit... seedier than the guys remembered it. Girls were raped on the premises, drugs, alcohol and vampires. I shiver at a particular memory.
"It's different now," I murmur. Cordelia looked at me.
"Buffy, the Bronze will never change. It will remain the same. Safe and home," she finished firmly, as the others grabbed their coats.
I think of someone I knew and nod. "Okay Cordy." I am such a wimp.
We walk the two blocks there. I can tell the others are shocked and disgusted. Nine teenagers are outside- three girls about to be raped, three boys doing the raping and three girls guzzling beer.
I recognize a scared face, as the boy tears off her blouse.
"Tessa!" I shriek, flinging the boy off. It's Mike Simpson, a jock from school. I took some substituting classes a few weeks ago and met heaps of kids.
"Go home," I yell, taking of my sweatshirt and wrapping it around Tessa. He vomits everywhere and leaves.
I say nothing to my friends and lead Tessa home. She's crying.
"Tessa, this is the third time. Don't go there again, " I warn her, as we reach her home.
"Tell everyone about this Miss Summers and fix this town. You know the Bronze can be a nice place," Tessa whispers to me before she goes inside.
My friends and I head back to my place.
" Wow," is all Oz can say.
"I told you. When I... those four years made a difference there. I can't... not yet," I take a seat on the floor, just as the doorbell rings. I jump up and answer it.
"Hey," I whisper. It's Angel. He gives me one of those gorgeous smiles and hugs me. I cling tightly. "Come in," I whisper and we walk in hand in hand.
Mum jumps up at the site of Angel.
"When did you two get back together?" she demands, hands on hips. The phone rings and before I bother to muster a reply, I answer the phone.
"Hullo, Buffy speaking," I say automatically.
"Buff!" calls a familiar voice.
"Sally!" I squeal. Sally Ashton was in prison with me. She stabbed her sister (Marnie) with the butter knife at her brother's wedding. Her sister now suffers obsessive compulsive disorder.
"How are you?" she calls, obviously thrilled to talk to me.
"Okay. You?" I ignore the argument in the background.
"Well, Marnie is doing well but hates my guts. Judi gets let out on Monday and Samantha has a lengthened sentence - ten more years instead of five. Jyll is being as bitchy as ever and Dawna... Dawna killed herself," Sally's voice breaks.
All my friends see the colour drain out of my face.
"Buffy, what's wrong?" I hear Willow ask.
"How.." I lick my lips.
"Her sister Lucy wrote and told me she slit her wrists. God Buff, what if that happens to me? I like living. I don't want to get that desperate.. You're not like that, you're not going to kill yourself," Sally was desperate for me to reassure her.
My mouth is moving. "Yes I was," I whimper. Angel moves to hold me, but I jump back.
"Why?" Sally is crying now. I sit down.
"Sal, when I returned everything was different. I honestly tried to cope, but I can't trust anyone now. I was thinking about it," Angel is catching on, so is Oz I think.
"But you're all right now?" Sally gasps.
"Think about it," I snap, not caring who hears. "What have I got to live for? Husband and kids? No. My cat. I have no one Sally. All my friends have moved away, I can't have a boyfriend and my own mother put me in jail. I positively refuse to bring kids into a world where they can't trust granny dearest."
Mum's in tears behind me. I don't care. She deserves everything she gets. Willow, Cordy, Oz, Doyle, Anya and Xander are gaping. They never cared enough to find out if I was put in prison or just got community service.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. Mum thinks I'm talking to her and chokes up. "I'm sorry Sally. With my life... I never told you," I mutter.
"No. But you told Laura, she told me before she was taken to Maximum Security. You're the Slayer. Angel and Giles and Angel's soul... I understand it'd be worse for you," Sally answers. "But live Buffy. At least your mum wants to forgive and forget."
"I'm the one she hurt!" I explode. "Any good news, Sal?" I calm down.
" Actually, yeah. I'm out New Year's Day," she's smiling. I can tell.
"Oh that's fantastic! I'll pick you up at noon?" I suggest. "Stay with me for a few days."
"Thank you so much Buffy. I gotta go. I'll say Hi to the Bitch Brigade for you." Click, the line goes dead. I turn around to face my friends.
We silently head over to the sofa. I scoop up Josi, and stroke her fur.
" You were in jail?" Cordelia whispers. I nod. She's almost shaking.
"Why?" Xander asked, hugging Cordy.
"The Accidental Murders of Jennifer Calendar and Kendra Ho. Fifteen years," I look steadily at my mother. " But good behavior got me out eleven years early."
"We never knew," Willow whispers. "Honestly."
"I sorta guessed that," I replied. "I mean no phone messages, letters or emails, so I guess you guys either didn't care or didn't know."
"I'm so sorry Buffy," Mum blubbered, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't think about what I was thinking at the time."
"What was it like?" Anya asked.
"It was awful. We had a cell each- bed and adjoining bathroom. The food was pretty terrible as well. I kept to myself for ages. Like two and a half years," I was whispering, some of the worst memories resurfacing.
Angel stroked my head.
"But you're all right now?" Doyle asked.
"The mental scars are still there and the physical ones from the run in with Josh," I shrug.
"Run in?" Giles asked.
" Josh Baxter was in for nine rape charges and three attempted murders. His wife had reported him, after he tried to kill her. He was nineteen when he came in. I was twenty. Anyway, he was always sleeping with different women. He tried me one night, and I refused, getting him in trouble. So Josh gets back at me by lighting a fire in my cell. I manage to get out, but when I did, Josh attacked me with a knife he had, after he chloroformed me. He was put in Maximum Security three months after that," I shrugged.
My friends are looking horrified. Giles is glaring at Mum so bad that I think he might hit her. I shrug. It was awful, but there are some good memories.
CHRISTMAS 2003
"C'mon Buffy, let me do your hair," Marilla bounces on my bed, clutching my hairbrush.
I roll my eyes and begin the process of unpinning the halo- like hairstyle I wear. This year, Marilla (Marii), Sal, Dawna, Judi, Laura and I are celebrating Christmas in my room. My hair flows down my back and hits the quilt of my bed. Marii squeals and begins to brush my hair. She has black curly hair, which is really short, so I usually give in for her to brush my hair.
"So our annual Christmas 'I wish I had and Anywhere But Here," Judi announces, lighting a smoke. "Marilla."
" I wish I had a puppy and I was in London with my brother. Sally," she begins these tiny braids in my hair.
" I wish I had a pair of red jeans and I was shopping in Rome. Dawna," Sal shrugs. We are all watching each other. "The truth."
Dawna and I are the two that always lie.
"Fine. I wish I had a Seafood pizza and I was in Russia with my mum," Dawna is only 17, the youngest. " Josiphina."
" Um, a pair of ice skates and Anywhere but here," Judi grinned. "Laura."
" A video, some popcorn and in my sister's apartment. Buffy," everyone stares at me. I open my mouth to lie blatantly. Then a past Christmas haunts me. Snow. Him.
"I'd like to be in Sunnydale with Angel and lots of snow," I avoid eye contact.
Silence reigns.
I bet my friends don't know how it is for someone like Dawna. 17, trying to fit in with me (21), Judi(22), Laura(20), Sal(22) and Marii (19). It was pretty gut wrenching.
" I'm so, so sorry," Mum mutters, taking the distant look for a sad one.
" Marilla, Dawna and I had it worst. Marilla was in for a robbery her twin sister committed, Dawna was convicted as pushing her English teacher off a cliff and I was in for accidental murder," Willow's eyes bore into my skull. She knew something was up with Marilla Martin.
Marii and I were playing Monopoly. We were discussing food and clothes.
"I wish I could get out," Marii screamed, flipping the game board up.
I jerked back, as it clipped me in the face.
"We were both imprisoned wrongly, Buffy. Janitta should be here, and you should be in a college class," she was crying, hard.
"How long have you got?" I asked soothingly.
" Another five years," Marii looked up, her green eyes wide and wild.
"I've got another thirteen," I pointed out.
She stood up. "I'm sorry. I'm never talking to Janitta again. Who did it to you?" she packed up the Monopoly board.
"My mother. My own freakin' mum," I replied.
She faces me. "How could she?" Marii whispered. "How..?"
I smile weakly. "I don't know or care. I can live on my own. So what's dinner?" I ask, engaging in our favourite game.
"Mrs Priggson's birthday- Nachos and ice cream," Dawna catches up to us.
I'm sitting on the couch, shaking. Willow's holding me.
Marii sort of died then. I found out later Josh had.. hurt her. She died because of him. A grave lies in the cemetery next door.
Marilla Abigaile Martin
Died 19 February 2004
Not forgotten, Never forgotten
The best friend.
I stand up, shakily. Marii died for him. Janitta should be dead. I wish she was.
The gang went fifteen minutes ago. Christmas with them isn't Christmas anymore.
I change into a black velvet dress and go out to the car. I drive the two and a half hour drive to the prison. I ask permission to see Josephine Carter, Sally Ashton and Laura Harper. Miss Hills glares at me and goes to get the girls.
"Buffy," squeals Judi, flinging her arms around me.
"Why...?" Sal asks, hugging me.
"C'mon, lets go see Marii," I say. The girls nod. I follow them to the cemetery.
Marilla Abigaile Martin Dawna Eloise Kent
Died 19th February 2004 Passed Away on the
Not Forgotten, never forgotten Rest Dawna, have your peace.
The best friend 22nd of December 2006
The bodies of past criminals aren't here. Just headstones. Tears pour down our faces as we remember sad and bad times.
We're sitting in the school room, doing Science. The teacher, Miss Hardy, whom we all love, is marking tests. Marii is next to me, Dawna next to Sally, Samantha (Sam) is next to Judi and poor Laura is next to Jyll. I only did it because I had nothing else to do.
Suddenly the head of the B block bursts in with the Inspector and Vice Inspector. Inspector Bartholomew Criss and Ms Lily Towns. Lily likes us. She's 34 and thinks we're heaps of fun. Bart Criss is a pompous old dog, who makes Giles and Wesley look like party animals. He likes making us look like the iceberg that sank the Titanic. The Head of Block B, Ms Priggson, is a prissy old bat who hates us.
Ms Priggson ordered us to stand, so 22 girls did. I looked a bit scrappy, the khaki trousers a bit loose from my weight loss, the shirt untucked, the boots unlaced and the cross necklace Angel gave me. My hair was braided and wrapped around my head like a halo. Ms Priggson flung me out of my seat and slapped me.
"How dare you look like a slut on the day the Inspector comes," she spat in my face and slapped me. As the Slayer, I have natural reflexes. Sure, not training made them rusty, but a Slayer has a defense system. I kicked her and she shoved me against the wall. I hit my head and I felt a trickle of blood ooze down my cheek.
Sam can't stand the sight of blood and promptly threw up. Dawna spilt the experiment over hers and Sal's books. Jyll takes the opportunity to pour the experiment into Laura's lap. She screams, because it was boiling water, and jumps up.
For some reason I'm laughing. I can see the funny side of this I guess. But Xander's face came back to me. Just before I came here, Xander said this: " Fighting is hard and we do it everyday, Buffy. It makes us the people we want to become. The best thing is we can do it and laugh." Everyone looked at me. I ended up in my cell for eight hours.
*~*~*~*~
I picked up a piece of toast and spread honey across it. I pour myself a glass of water, 'cause the milk is usually sour. Laura runs over to me.
" Buffy, there's this big...we're playing a trick on Priggy. There is this fake love letter from Josh on her desk," she grinned. My sentence was shortened that day.
Sal and I are eating pizza and laughing. The gang is coming here in 10 minutes to meet Sally.
"Actually, I'm going to L.A. to speak to Marii's family," Sally stood up.
"Sal, it might get you into trouble..." I curl up, just as the doorbell goes. Sal gets it.
That was 2 and a1/2 hours ago. Now Sal is telling them about the whole school room incident. Angel's in the kitchen with me.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
" Marii was murdered, Angel," I murmured. Even though there was no way I could have stopped it, I still felt guilty. Angel's arms wrap around my waist and he kisses my cheek.
"It's okay now," he whispers in my ear. "I promise I'll protect you from everything. I'll stay with you forever."
"But your soul," I whisper, praying that he will stay and protect me.
"The Oracles gave me humanity, immortality and vampire strength," he kisses me again. "That's the reason I wrote."
Suddenly we're making out like we did in High school; only it's better because there aren't any restrictions, only us and our passion. Luckily and unluckily, Willow and Doyle find us . Willow has a look of understanding in her eyes and Doyle's grinning ( I think he's drunk) Angel and I had the decentcy to blush.
4 Months Later
To: W.Osbourne@hotmail.com Dear Willow, Guess what? I'm coming down to London soon. Angel's bringing me. How was the wedding? I'm sorry I missed it. Angel went back to LA last night. I miss him so much. You can see my pregnancy now. Giles is so pleased, so is mum. Our relationship is better now I'm working. Love Buffy 5 Months Later To: buffy_summers@yahoo.com Buffy and Angel - Congrats on the new baby girl - Angelina Alexandra Jennifer Summers-Astian. Cordy and I'll visit after Cordy's Charlie's Angels shoot wraps up. Cordelia is thrilled because after this movie, The Baby Sitters Club and The Saddle Club, she should get the award for best new actress. I hope so. How's the dress designing going? I heard a rumor you will be designing Supermodel Anyanka Dimorso's. Is this true? Buffy, can you send me Willow's private email, I only have W.Osbourne@hotmail.com Luv the Xand - Man To: king_of_cretins@yahoo.com Xander, Have you got Buffy's email, I need to ask her a favor. A big favor. I've got the best news - Doyle proposed!!! We're getting married in Sunnydale next August. Anya Dimorso To: Buffy_Summers@yahoo.com Dear Buffy. I know I should've contacted you ages ago, but I felt guilty. Very guilty. But I got married to Dr. Jonathon Russels (Willow might know of him) and we have a baby girl Miranda who is age 3. I'm working as a nurse in Los Angeles. I got your email from yahoo directory after I search aol, america.online.com, hotmail, giggle.com and slayerettes.com (I take it this is Willow's firm?) I saw that dress you designer online, 09921. It is so gorgeous. I admired it for so long Jon handed me his credit card and told me to buy it. I did. It's gorgeous. I've gotta go. I might visit sometime. Faith To: Buffy_Summers@yahoo.com Faith knows JONATHON RUSSELS? He is like the richest doctor in California and she married him. Dear Lord. And they have baby Miranda. I need to sit down. W To:faith_russels@aol.com Faith, Thank you for your message. I need to tell you something about dress 09921. I designed it with a photo of you next to me. It's called 'Have Faith'. Congrats on Miranda. I have a baby girl Angelina. I would love for you to come visit. SOON. Luv B Send feedback to Alexandra Back to the Fanfiction Archive
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