Authoress's Note: I wrote this when I needed a good cry. I'd just read a really sad book. Bittersweet. Read it and you'll see.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Abby and Natalie are.
Rating: PG 13 for mention of suicide.

I stared at that lonely sunset, knowing that I was the last one to savor the joys of sunsets and thunder storms. I always hated thunder storms.

It was a slow death - Riley, Tara, Mum, Giles, Oz, Anya, Willow, Xander, Spike, Cordelia, Wesley and Faith. In that crummy order.

I never imagined that Wes or Cordy would last that long. I was so proud of Xander - especially after he lost his wife and kids in the same murder.

I've got a silver chain around my neck - it was Tara's. It has a silver ring with a ball of rose quartz in it. Now? It has the wedding bands of the entire gang. One child survived - Willow's daughter Abbigail. She's ten years old and I sent her to the Watcher's Council until I can look after her.

I know I'm avoiding the subject. Angel died too. I'll start crying soon. It was stupid really. He was pulling a teenage boy out of a house and it exploded. The wiring and the rain, I think.

The boy is alive. Angel isn't. Stupid stupid stupid stupid.

Sunnydale is a wreck - only a few buildings remain - the Bronze is one of those. Homeless people crouch around fires, their faces blank and filthy.

My house is still there, thank god. The homeless leave me well alone - the teenage boy is Homeless and his mother seems to know exactly what I have lost.

The graves are there - I made sure. White marble in a line. Golden writing.

I hold the knife tightly to my throat, ready to do it.

After all the pain the End of Days caused and this is how I die? How... ironic.

I can't do it. Poor Abby will have no one to tell her of her mother and our adventures.

"Aunt Buffy!" Abby races up the hill, her light brown hair windswept. "Mr Tierny brought me home!"

I smile at her and throw the knife in Cora's Leap - a river that nothing is ever saved from.

Abby hugs me sooo tightly, I know how she feels - to have lost everything you ever worked for.

"It's okay to cry, Abby," I whisper in her ear.

She looks at me with tear filled eyes. "Maybe you should follow you're own good advice, Aunty."

She's right, you know. I should cry. But I can't. Because the minute I know Abby is safe with her soul mate is the day I will reunite with Angel.

I kind of owe it to Willow and Oz to make sure their daughter grows up.

We'll leave for Australia soon. There aren't any demons there. Or any destruction.

No memories.

// "Buffy!" Willow screamed, I never heard a scream like that. I span around and paled. Oz lying in his own blood, clutching three year old Natalie. Nat stared straight ahead, sobbing.

"Her back is broken," Willow screamed. "Please fix it!!!"

How? Is fixing it making the pain stop? Because only one thing will fix that.

"Stop the pain, Buffy," Willow whispered. I picked up a gun and shot Natalie Jennifer Osbourne through the eyes.

Willow looked at me and ran. Ran far away.//

// "Where's Willow?" Xander gasped, avoiding looking at Anya's corpse. Nathen lay next to her.

"She ran, Xand," I rasped. "I shot Nat because her back was broken and she would have suffered and Willow blames me."

"No she doesn't Buffy," Xander hugged me. "She's in a lot of pain - she only has Abby left."

That was the last time I saw either of them alive.//

So, good bye Angel. Remember how much I will always love you. I'll be there with you soon.

I promise.

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