Spoilers: A few...don't ask me to list them. I'm stoopid, don't know nuthin'.
Disclaimer: Do not own…yadda yadda yadda, but will not kill myself because of it.
Rating: Have no idea. PG-14 ? I dunno.
Warning: Violent. Multiple character death.
Summary: Buffy gets sick and tired of the loser guys in her life.
Author's Note: I currently have an issue with guys...I think this slightly appears in this fic. Oh, and Season 4 hasn't been screened here in Aus yet, so stuff from there is kind of...well...different.

Prologue

"I am sooooo sick of men!!!" screamed Buffy Summers as she entered her dorm.

She had just come from an outing with Riley. She had just found out about him and his little G.I. Joe wannabes.

Then Buffy thought about other men in her life, men she had really liked. Men that she now 'disliked immensely' (I'm not actually suppossed to HATE anyone). What was it about her that guys felt that they had to do something to spice up the relationship? Did she have the words 'surprise and excite me' tattoed on her forehead? Why couldn't she find a nice, sweet, relatively normal guy, who knows how to have a good time that does not include being a creature or man of the night?

As these thoughts ran through Buffy's mind, something inside her snapped. She knew what she would do. She sat down at her desk, took out some paper, a pen, and the phone and started writing...

Part 1

It was done. Buffy sat, waiting in what could be consider the living room of the Crawford street mansion. She only had to wait for one more...

And here he was. Her dear, dear Angel. He was one of them...one of the men that had hurt her, the one who had hurt her the most...he would be last. She could hear his footsteps, he was nearing. She silently rose from her chair, getting into position with her hunk of wood. She knew that it would take a fair whack to take him down...and he would awaken within a couple of minutes, so she had to work fast. He came around the corner and into the doorway, she swung the wood at his head with all of her might. He was out. She dragged him over to the special chains she had ready for him. He was starting to awaken already.

As he came to, Angel became aware of his surroundings. He was in the mansion with Buffy, and as he looked around, he noticed that they weren't alone...chained up, similar to him, were a number of other men. He recognised a few...Giles, Xander, Spike, Oz, Riley and Buffy's father. There were another seven that he didn't recognise. He turned to Buffy. She looked...well...there really wasn't a word for how she looked. She seemed calm, but underneath, he could sense her rage, her need for something. He could sense that she was over the edge. Her sanity was not in this room, it wasn't even in this solar system. She had more than snapped.

"Ah, you're awake. Look around you, Angel, wouldn't Angelus be so proud of me. Your little Buffy, ready to torture, maim and kill." she turned to each man chained up and removed the rags from their mouths. "Each and every one of you has done something to hurt me, well, except for you, Oz, you hurt Willow and I decided that it's time for me to hurt each and every one of you back. You were so easy to lure. Alittle phonecall or a little note, with just a time and place, my God, it was fun. I bet the boys of this group were expecting me to put out or some crap loke that. Ha! You couldn't be further from the truth! You're all going to die. By my hand."

All of the guys started yelling and talking at once.

"Buffy, I believe that this is one of your more foolish decisions..." Giles.

"Come on, now, Peaches, we're all friends..." this from Spike.

"Buff, my bestest bud..." Xander in his lameness.

"Mmmm...umm..." Oz, obviously.

"Princess, what are you..." Hmm, Daddy dearest.

Joined by various others that Angel couldn't name.

"QUIET!!!!!!!" Buffy screamed. They all obeyed. "That's better. Before I even contemplate listening to you, I'll introduce you all. From the left...we have Giles, my former Watcher, male that would inhibit my normal life, causing me to fight unspeakable evils...next is Oz, the only one of you that hasn't hurt me personally, but my best friend can't be said the same for...next we have Spike, the all round not-so-bad-a**** vampire, childe of my beloved Angel, the one that has joined THE cause due to a lack of being able to kill anything, let alone me, the Slayer...and in the fourth set of chains is one of my best friends, Xander. The lame jokster that despite my pain, always seems to make it worse, left up to him I would have no social life and my Angel would still be in Hell or would be a pile of ashes...number six is dear Parker, UC Sunnydale's cassanova, the only other thing successful in luring me to a bed, you shouldn't have mocked me, Parker, your death will be slow and very painful, pity you didn't know who you were dealing with...

"Number seven, ah, Riley, my current boyfriend. Why couldn't that nice image you portrayed have been real? I actually liked you, but no, you are a man of the night, even you have to appreciate what I'm doing, after all isn't it what you do? Torture things? Oh well, seven down, seven to go...next is Pike, how are you by the way...my first guy friend. You knew about the Slaying and even helped, then you left me to fend for myself,no friends, no hope...I believe Angelus said that once...next is my unfaithful exboyfriend Tyler...you'll learn that no one cheats on me...we're getting into the two digit firures now...number ten...my dad, Hank Summers...you left me Daddy, shopping trips don't make up for everything, remember my 18th birthday? You cancelled on our annual ice show visit. When was the last time I had seen you before that? number eleven is another ex...Scott, you dumped me right before Homecoming, not a good choice...ooooh, next up is Jonathan, all round loser, why is it that I always have to save your a**? You think you have problems? Killing yourself isn't the answer. Did I say that? Well, you don't kill yourself! You kill everyone else! Haha!

"Well, well, number twelve, Larry! How are you? I don't really appreciate you manhandling me. Oh, I know, you've 'changed', but deep down no one really changes, so...sorry! Unlucky number thirteen. Tom! Now, you, I had to go to a lot of trouble to bring you here. I had to break you out of gaol. That wasn't too easy, but here you are. Don't try to serve me up for some demon's dinner again!

"Last, but not least, is my beloved Angel. What can I sat about you? I've loved you for what seems like forever. A 246 year old vampire with a soul that loves the Vampire Slayer. I save your life countless times, okay, there was that incident with soul loss, but you tried to kill me! Then you say you'll leave me, then I save your life by letting you feed off of me, then you leave anyway!!! That did NOT make me very happy!!! You do hang up calls all the time...you know that *69 thing?...and you come to town and don't even try to contact me and when we finally get some happiness going, you get the Powers to right it off as never happening! Yeah, I DO remember! YOU are going to be last! YOU are going to have the worst, most painful death of the lot! Yours will go on and on the longest."

You could feel the fear in the room. Buffy was relishing it. What had happened to the young girl Angel had always loved? He couldn't really ask that question, because he knew the answer...HE happened...

She said I would be last, she also left her father for a while, she wanted him to see what she had become, but apart from that, she started in order. She started with Tyler. It didn't take more than two hours for him to go.

"God! What a pansy! Did he have a heart attack or something? All I did was remove his pride and joy with a stanley blade. You don't cheat on me and expect to come out intact!" she was genuinely puzzled.

The boy called Pike was next. He took longer. Twelve hours. Multiple stab wounds. The same blade that had been used on the first one had been used for target practice, with him as the target.

"That was fun!!" Buffy enthused. It was Xander's turn.

Buffy had a dangerous glint in her eyes. It told everyone in no uncertain terms, that this time, with one of her best friends, she was going to enjoy immensely.

In Xander's mind, he flashed back to every time he had betrayed her...but most especially, the time when Willow had sent him to warn Buffy that Angel's soul was going to be returned, but instead, he told Buffy to 'kick his ass'. Things had gone downhill from there. He could understand her rage, her insane desire to lash out at the world. His thoughts came to an end as Buffy's torture began.

"You've always wanted to do it with me, haven't you, Xander? Well, this is as close as you're going to get. I read about this in one of Giles' Watcher Diaries. It was one of Angelus' finer arts. She began the Chinese Nipple Torture(can you say 'oooooouuuuuuuuuuccccccchhhhhhhhyyy?')

*****

Three down, eleven to go...

"Giles and my dear Dad. It's fitting that you should go together. My Watcher, the man that was more of a father to me than my own, and my absentee father, you should both be proud of me. Your little girl kills demons. I can take care of myself. Bye!" she moved the two men off to the side where a television and video could be see. She pressed play on the video. Their torture was different. They viewed Buffy and Angel in graphic detail, every time they had been together. Two full three hour tapes. One other was her torturing some demons the night before (for the purpose of this fic, the tapes exist). After the first six hours, she became so sick of the tears, she staked them both through the heart.

It was Spike's turn.

His way was easy, almost too easy. His dear Drusilla. Buffy wasn't stupid. She had found and caught Dru. Spike's torture was seeing his Princess slowly killed by a holy water sponge bath. He soon followed her in death the same way. Rule of Slaying: Never take out a vampire without it's partner, It's safer that way.

Larry and Tom were next.

As they both seemed to like pieces of people, she used her trusty stanley blade once more to sever off all appendages one at a time. Shock killed them both.

It had been two days since they had been chained up. This night, Oz had become a werewolf. She let him loose on Jonathan, whose only problem was that he was annoying. Oz's torture was the day after when he saw the videotape of what he had done, that and having his teeth pulled. He died slowly.

Oh...Parker...

When Angel realized who was next, a strange sort of contentment washed over him. He had heard about this one. If he could, he would have killed him himself. Suddenly pain engulfed him and he doubled over as much as he could chained up. He knew what was happening and while trying to hold on, he silently thanked God that he was chained up...

Angelus was back...

The boy, Parker, was easy, too easy, thought Angelus, I mean, what do you do with a boy so full of himself that he feels that he can sleep with and then reject young girls to prove his prowess? Easy! You take away that which he does it with, very, VERY slowly. How could that boy think he had earned the right to treat girls like that...mind you, if it had been anyone other than his Buffy, he probably would have congratulated the human, but NO ONE touched his Buffy!

Ah, well, it was the most recent boy's turn. Riley...

Oooooooohhhh, Angelus had never realized how glorious his Buffy could be. She had taken a whip to that 'fish boy', as Xander had called him...hmm...Xander, another of hs lover's victims, he silently congratulated her on a job well done, he had always hated that jealous waste of space...

'Fish Boy' was really starting to bleed, she was striking him hard. It was then that he noticed that she was dragging the boy over to a bath tub that had been sitting in the room for a while. Earlier on she had filed it up with some liquid with a smell he couldn't identify. She dumped him in. Angelus was almost deafened by the boy's screams...it was rather funny though.

"It's Dettol, you know...the antiseptic stuff. You know, Riley, actual torture means that you have to be healthy and stuff, but you...I don't know, I'll clean you up, but ick! then I'll let Angelus over here have some fun." she indicated to him.

He growled, "How did you know, Lover?"

She giggled patronizingly, "Please, I felt the change. I haven't been close to you for so long not to know when something drastic occurs, plus, I was expecting it...you're going to be my favourite, Angelus. You're torturing will be the restoration of my Angel, you didn't really think that I could have organised this on my own, do you?"

It was then that Willow walked out. "You know, Angelus, I really enjoyed what she did to Oz, but now we're gonna have some fun with you." She pulled out an Orb of Thessulah and began chanting...he could feel his soul returning, the last thing he heard as Angelus was Buffy,

"Did you really think that I would torture you physically, Angelus, I SO think not...you'd enjoy it too much..."

*****

"Oh, Angel..." the sing-song voice called to him. He remembered everything and knew that this was the end for him, he silently said a prayer...not for himself, but for his beloved Buffy.

She eventually grew tired of torturing him...one month and an ocean of his tears for her later, she gave him a Holy shower. She walked away from the mansion feeling nothing, she became the perfect Slayer...no friends, no family, no cares, it was plunge and move on, plunge and move on...

No one could explain the missing men, they didn't even try, the Slayer was on her own from then on, a shell of herself...that couldn't have anything to do with the sudden appearance of Ethan Rayne in Sunnydale toting a book entitled 'Spells of the Soul', could it...?

Send feedback to Alicia

Back to the Fanfiction Archive