Rating:PG-13??
Content: Not anything a normal viewer of the show can't read. A little bit of violence for Riley, though.
Spoiler Warnings: Up to "A New Man"
Summary: Riley is about to tell Buffy he loves her....but guess who comes back.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the BtVS characters or Angel characters. I wish I could own Angel, though Anyway, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, The WB, and Fox do. Do you really think I were the boss I'd have Riley on the show?
Authors Notes: Alright, this was my first "Die Riley Die" fan- fic. Did you like it? Send me feedback at Ali67@aol.com . And please, no flames!

"Lilac, Lilac are you there?" The voice on the walkie-talkie jolted Riley Finn out of his dream-state. He slowly picked up his walkie-talkie and said into the mouthpiece, "Lilac here. No report of any hostiles."

"Good. Check around the campus once more and then you can go to your dorm."

"Check. Thank you Colonel." Riley hooked the little piece of equipment onto his belt. He started walking down the little pathway by the university. He slowly returned to his dream-like state. What had he been thinking about? Buffy, of course. She had been on his mind all day.

He rubbed a hand through his long, greasy hair. He liked her a lot. She was strong, (But I could still kick her butt, thought Riley) she was pretty, and the perfect girl to bring home to his ma and pa. But what really mattered, more important then anything, was what Bessie thought of her. Gee whiz, I miss her, Riley thought, sighing. Bessie was his special cow. She had been his best friend throughout life.

Riley continued on his walk. And if any vampires or demons were out, he didn't see them. After an hour, Riley finally decided to start to go back to his dorm. Or maybe to Buffy's.

As he started walking down the path to his house, he thought he heard voices. He stopped to listen.

"See him? There he is. The one who has the greasy hair."

Riley, knowing the people were probably talking about someone else, continued walking. Straight into a pole.

"Oww," he said dumbly. "Gosh, see what Buffy did to me. I love her so much. I think I will tell her when I get to see her tomorrow." He started skipping down the path, humming a jolly tune.

And in the bushes, Spike and Angel snickered. "Are you sure that's her boyfriend?" Angel asked, hardly being able to contain his laughter.

"Yeah, well I think she lost her taste." Spike started laughing again.

And with that, the two headed back toward Spike's crypt, laughing on the way.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Riley rushed down Buffy's hall, practically running. He had come to tell Buffy he loved her. He clutched the roses and the journal with the cow on the front, his palms sweating furiously.

She'll be so glad! I can tell. She will definitely love the picture I put on the front of the journal of Bessie. Riley had decided that Buffy would like a journal to write about how much she loved him in.

As he came to her dorm room, he stopped, took a deep breath, and went in. Buffy and Willow were sitting on the bed, talking excitedly.

"And it's perm- Oh...hi Riley," Buffy stopped as she saw him.

"Hello my sweet little cow!" he exclaimed.

"I'm a cow?" Buffy raised her eyebrows.

"In Iowa that's what a man calls a woman when she's his," Riley explained excitedly.

"Riley, we need to talk. Why don't you sit down--or you know what, don't," she said, glancing at the yellow stain on the front of his khaki pants.

"What is it me sweet honey bun?" he asked, jumping up and down at the excitement of telling his honey bun he loved her.

"Riley, we need to break up," Buffy said bluntly.

"I think I'll go now," said Willow, racing out of the room.

"Here!" Riley said as he shoved the flowers in Buffy's face.

"Riley I just said we need to break up," Buffy said looking at him.

"What are you talking about, my lovely sugar plum?" Riley didn't understand.

"I'm sorry, it's just....we're not right for each other. I think we should see other people."

"Um....ok..."

"Thanks, Riley. I'm sure we can still be friends." She ushered him out the door. Willow walked in after he walked out. He could hear the girls' squeals as he walked down the hall.

Riley sighed. He felt sorry for Buffy. She must be delirious. Poor girl. He sighed. He hated to be sick. He felt bad for his little sugar plum. Then he got an idea. I know! I will make her the famous Finn cough medicine! It's been in the family for generations. Even when the chemicals in it were outlawed by the American Food Association. But Grandma still made it when we were sick. We missed her when she was out of the country getting ingredients, though. He knew this would make her think clearly, and then they could go back to being exactly the way they were before.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~~*~*~*

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" Buffy shrieked in her dorm room.

"Buffy....calm down...I'm sure he doesn't mean it," Willow soothed.

"I'm sorry, Will. It's just that in the past few days, Riley has sent me flowers, balloons, and the 'Finn Cough Medicine'. It's a pea-green. I can't stand looking at it, let alone drink it. I'm not sick!!!"

"Buffy, it's not his fault Angel came back. He's just a little heart-broken."

"I know! But he's driving me insane! He thinks we are still going out!"

"I know, Buffy, I know. Give it a little time." The voices faded off, and the TV sounded. Riley couldn't believe his ears. Buffy with another guy? He couldn't believe she would cheat on him.

I know! The lightbulb went off in his head. I will beat up this Angel guy. I can get my Buffy back. I am sooo strong! The doctor once told me I wasn't the sharpest knife in the box. I'll show him. Buffy will be so proud of me for beating up Angel, she'll run into my arms. And with that in mind, Riley ran off to his dorm, whistling a happy tune.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~~

Buffy and Angel stalked the school campus, patrolling. Suddenly, a figure leaped out of the shadows. Angel was about to leap at it, but Buffy held him back. "It's only Riley." She sighed. "Riley, what are you doing here? I told you we were over."

Riley stalked forward. "Buffy, you are mine...and I..well, I am going to fight Angel," he said proudly. "And lookey, I brought us a cow manual. After the fight, we can read it together. It teaches you how to milk a cow. And..."

Riley was so busy talking, he didn't hear a soft rumbling in the distance. He continued to talk as he slowly got crushed by the bulldozer.

"And cows are-Buffy??? Buffy?" he screamed as he got flattened. When the bulldozer was over him, it stopped.

"Hey, mates!" Spike cheerfully called from the seat. "Thought you could use a little help!"

"Spike! You killed him!" Buffy exclaimed. "I didn't want to hurt him...."

"Did I forget to mention he was a fish demon?" called Spike.

As it turned out, Riley Finn was one of the offspring from the fish monsters in "Go Fish". After telling them that, Spike hopped out from the driver's seat.

And they all went to eat a big fish dinner at Giles's.

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