Rating: Pg. 13
Disclaimer: They are owned by the Evil Whedon. *GRR*
Archiving: Permission is granted to archive this story please make sure credit is given.
Feedback: Pretty please?
Dedication: For all those who have ever lost a loved one, also in memory of my father Mr. Wayne R. ~ My love is with you always Dad~
Summary: It's kinda an interlude to the next story, it's angsty but it needs to be written.

//What ravages of spirit
conjured this tempestuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do//

It was marked on his calendar, like a plague that took over his heart. It hurt, the red underlined words piercing his heart like a knife. He knew this day would come and the pain along with it. The angst that tore through his body was at times unbearable, but he fought, for her.

//and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul//

The others felt sympathy toward him, but never fully understood. They never could, never will. The death of another isn't easy, but the death of a lover is a feeling that Buffy and Angel knew to well. He attempted to take his own life several times, but Cordelia and Wesley caught him. They feared one day they would be too late. He seldom smiled, for his reason too, was gone.

//I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
but I have the sense to recognize//

He felt it as if he owed Buffy enough to be the one to tell her Mother that destiny had caught up with her, and won. Angel and Joyce grew close over time, sharing their misery with one another. Nothing can ever compare to the love that Joyce and Giles felt towards Buffy; a daughters love.

//that I don't know how
to let you go
I don't know how
to let you go//

Now, he sits quietly in his office, fingering her picture in his hand. A tear slips from his eye, one of many. How he goes on and pulls through amazes him and his friends everyday.

//a glowing ember
burning hot
burning slow
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you//

The red writing on the calendar mocks him once again. Slowly, he stand and walks to it, staring at the unfaithful date. More tears. They won't stop, he wonders if they ever had, ever will. He quickly packs a small bag and heads for the door, placing Buffy picture in his jacket pocket.

//I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do//

The wind blows lightly through the hotel, pulling the calendar off of it's hook on the wall to the floor. The red words blow gracefully in the wind, but never faltering the reader: ONE YEAR.

//and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go//

His car pulls out of the drive way and into the busy streets. He'll be there in two hours, back to his beloved's former town, back to the memories.

//but I have the sense to recognize, that I don't know how to let you go//

We sit in a circle and just stare. The waves lap against the warm sand. It's peaceful, beautiful almost. It brings back memories. Makes me wonder, will it always be this difficult? Giles sits on a piece of drift wood across from me, on his left Joyce, on his right Willow. Cody and Wesley are next to me, and Xander and Anya are seated on the ground. A fire blazes in front of us, glowing embers. One year ago today, she died, my reason for living. Giles arranged this get together, in memory of the one girl who stole is fatherly heart.

Buffy, she who always had a smile, she who made his dark world filled with sun. The young women who had captured his heart. Angel felt that he in no way deserved her, but that didn't stop him from loving her, and it never will.

It made Angel happy to know that were she was now was better then this hell, also known as earth. Joyce is crying now, only to comforted by Giles gentle gestures. 'Can't cry now, can't let my emotions go, need to be strong.' Willow and Cordy follow. Angel says or does nothing, he can't. The pain is to strong, it weakens him.

Everything thing that Angel had ever done was for Buffy, every major choice was made with her in mind, her own good. It might have killed him, but if it made her life easier then he would do it. He couldn't stop the sob the escaped his throat, and nor his body from slumping to the ground, weeping bitter tears. He was the only male crying, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered. He didn't care about his pride or dignity, or the stereotypic 'manly' appearance. He was a two hundred and fifty year old vampire, cursed with a soul. He could give a fuck about what other people said about it, because he would rip their throat out in a minutes time.

//Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay//

"Hope those frowns aren't for me," a voice said from behind the group.

As if in slow motion, they turned to see Buffy. She was standing in front of her friends and family, just like she was a year ago. Her body was transparent and glistened in the moonlight, her hair creating a golden waterfall as it laid on her shoulders. She was an Angel.

Angel was at a loss of words, much like everyone else. He slowly approached her, and reached out to touch her. His nimble, shaking fingers went right through her.

"You can't touch me, I'm technically not here." She whispered, a small, sad smile gracing her face.

Angel wept once again, wanting to cling to her for dear life, her life. Her family stood and approached Buffy, tears burning their cheeks.

"Dear lord." Giles whispered, astonished.

//there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day//

"Hey," was about all that Buffy could say. Her eyes threatened to surrender to their own tears, sure enough they did.

"Oh sweetie...," Joyce cried trying to reach for her, but realizing she couldn't.

Buffy smiled through her tears," I don't have much time, so I have to do what I got to do and leave." Buffy didn't want to make this any harder then it already was, "The powers sent me, they thought that I deserved to say good-bye."

"Damn right you do," Xander declared, holding his emotions together.

She laughed, that beautiful laugh and it broke Angel's poor, battered heart all over again.

Buffy took a deep breath, trying to control herself, failing miserably. " I just wanted to tell you that I'm OK, and somewhat happy." She was crying. "Heaven's not so bad you know, unlimited shopping."

Cordelia's ears perked at this.

"...I have friends, a few anyway. Kendra and Jenny," Angel looked down, ashamed, " She misses all of you." Buffy persisted, looking at Angel's teary eyes," All of you."

//I need some distraction
oh beautiful release

memory seeps from my veins//

"But, there's a more important reason I'm here." Buffy struggled through her words, " I have a gift for Angel."

She slowly turned and stared in her lover's eyes. "You've earned your redemption." She spoke softly.

Angel shook his head, "No, I don't deserve it. I've done nothing this past year..."

All future protests were silenced with Buffy finger, laying gently on his lips, "Oh Angel, but you have earned it. You comforted my friends and family when they needed it most. I watched you day after day, helping my mother. You were so kind." Her voice was cracking, she wasn't going to be able to keep herself from crying much longer.

"I would come to you at night, when you would be sleeping. You'd toss, turn and cry. I'd whisper to you, hold you gently until you settled." A sob caught in her throat.

Angel continued to cry, over taken by sorrow.

"...You deserve this and so much more. All my years as a slayer, you watched over me, protected me, loved me. Now it's my turn, I get to be *YOUR* guardian Angel. Don't push it away."

//let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight//

He nodded his head ever so slightly, understanding.

A pink glow formed around Angel as a warm feeling crept through his body. He was alive. Human.

Buffy reached out and touched his chest, feeling the heartbeat underneath her small fingers. "Most beautiful sound in the world." She whispered.

He choked on his tears again, "It's worth nothing without you."

She cupped his now warm face in her hand, "But it is worth everything to me."

He closed his eyes in bitter pain, if only he could share this gift with her.

"Angel, I need to you promise me something," Buffy pushed on, knowing her time was cutting short.

"Anything," He replied huskily, teardrops falling from his brown pools.

She stepped closer," Promise me that'll you'll move on. That you'll find love again."

He shook his head," NO, I won't. You can't ask me to do that."

Buffy was sobbing uncontrollably now, if only it knew what it felt like to be in her shoes. "Angel, PLEASE," She wailed," Find some other women to love, make her the happiest person alive."

Angel continued to shake his head, clenching his jaw.

"...Have a child, you know name her after me? Buffy or Anne, even Summer." Buffy continued

Angel stared at her, betrayal flaring in his eyes," I can't believe you're asking me to do this."

Buffy took a deep, soothing breath," You have no idea what pleasure and happiness it would bring me to see you smiling, loving again, Please. Angel, for me." She begged.

Her friends and family stood and watch the ill fated star-crossed lovers battle a war that they have never been able to win. If just for once, fate allowed them to be happy.

//in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear//

"...But just remember, That *I'M* your soulmate, and that you'll *ALWAYS* love me." Buffy continued sternly, though her sorrow filled eyes showed her true feelings. Love.

Angel didn't say anything. He couldn't, he didn't know how to tell his true love that he would move on. How can you?

Stepping back slightly, Buffy looked to the heavens, "I have to go, my time's up."

Angel's tears should no mercy," NO, no, please, I can't live without you."

Slowly Buffy leaned in and meet his lips in a bittersweet kiss, and although Angel couldn't feel the contact of lips on his, he felt a familiar warmth spread through his body.

//you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there//

She turned to face her friends, her family. She smiled one last sad smile, " I love you all."

They couldn't speak, they lost their voices in misery, but nevertheless they smiled. Buffy Anne Summers, the Chosen One, a daughter, a lover, and so much more.

//in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear//

A blinding white light enveloped Buffy, as she was lifted off the ground. Souring in the air, so much like an Angel, Angel's Angel.

Suddenly, the bright light disappeared and was replaced with a soft pink, much like the one Angel experienced. Buffy was slowly lowered to the ground, and Angel caught her before she hit the ground.

::A lone figure stood in the shadows, watching the scene in front of him::

She had a heart beat, she was alive," Buffy, can you hear me?" Angel asked frantically.

She opened her eyes, the sparkle returning once more, "I'm here, forever."

Angel clutched her, as he sunk to the ground in tears, never once releasing her from his arms.

:: The figure came into the light, smiling at his job-well-done::

"I love you," He rasped against her hair.

"I love you," She replied without hesitation.

::Whistler smiled, a tear of joy falling from his eye. 'Don't say I never did anything for you, kid' He turned and walked into the shadows.

After all, Everyone deserves a fairy tale end.

Epilogue>>

::Together you are strong, alone you are dead::

::Our last part of the story begins in the small chapel of Sunnydale::

"Do you, Angel O'Brian take Buffy Anne Summers to be you loyal wedded wife? TO care for her in sickness and poor?"

His eyes glinted with tears, " I do"

"Do you, Buffy Anne Summers, take Angel O'Brian to be you loyal wedded Husband? TO care for him in sickness and poor?"

"I do,"

"I know pronounce you Husband and Wife, you may kiss the bride..."

::FAST FORWARD:: >>>>

Anya and Xander were married three months after Buffy's return, they are now the parents of 4..no...wait...make that 5 children (The keep themselves Busy) The Harris 's family moved from Sunnydale to start a construction industry in Seattle.

Willow and Tara left the Hellmouth for New York, and started a string of Magic shops for Wiccans. They are happy as can be being wife and...umm...wife. They still have Miss. Kitty.

Giles and Joyce, despite Buffy's protests, married and had a little girl, named Dawn. (makes you wonder...) Giles still runs the magic shop with Joyce.

Spike went and recoiled with Drusilla, they haven't been seen since.

Cordelia and Wesley began dating and were married three years later. They closed Angel investigation's and moved to Vermont, wanted to be as far as humanly possible from the Hellmouth (wonder why)?

Gunn met and fell in love with Amy, that is after she was DE-ratted. The were married four years later. They had a little boy, who they named Daniel (hmm...)

Buffy and Angel were married one month after Buffy's returned. They moved to Ireland, and worked with the watchers council on the side. (Buffy decided that the next slayer wouldn't be put through the hell she went through with the council.) Though Buffy and Angel didn't have kids (Could we say DANGER?) they lived a happy, full life. Buffy and Angel died at age 98, wrapped in each other's arms (think titanic scene *sob* hated that movie...anyway..) Buffy was the longest living slayer in history.

So the moral behind this story?

Good things come to those who wait and (most importantly)

'Love is stronger then any force on this earth. So, screw destiny, because it's out to screw you.'

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