Love and Angel

by Amanda Wallace

NOTES: Okay, this was only a quick piece of fic and I'm sorry that it's not very good but I wanted to have a try at a fic from Buffy's point of view. It's totally fluff and the reason I wrote this is to make a plea for you all TO VOTE FOR BUFFY AND ANGEL AT THE PULSE!!!!!!!


What's love? How do you define it? I've asked myself that question so many times, and the only answer I can find is that it's stood right in front of me. Holding a cup of steaming hot chocolate and smiling at me. Love is Angel. Love is My Angel. It took me so long to realise that. I thought I understood love when I first met him. I thought I'd understood it after my 17th birthday. Every time I think I've grasped it's magic, I learn something new.

I feel the familiar quickening of my heart rate as he nears me, his chocolate eyes sweeping slowly over my body before gazing deep into my eyes and making me melt like he does so often. I could stare at him forever and never be able to take in his beauty. It sounds so strange describing him as beautiful, because society condemns it. Men aren't supposed to be 'beautiful' because that's not how you're supposed to describe a guy. But I don't care. To me he is beautiful. He's wonderful. He's not just physically beautiful; he's beautiful inside as well in a way I can't describe.

I blush slightly when I realise I've been staring at him, but he doesn't seem to mind. He just offers me a grin and I can see in his eyes' that he's silently laughing, but that's always something I long to see. Seeing Angel smile and laugh is like seeing a shooting star. It's rare and sometimes you can live your whole life without seeing one, but when you do it's the most amazing sight.

I'm suddenly aware that music is playing softly in the background and I grin back at him when I realise he's put on my favourite song. It's little things like that that make him so adorable and when he puts his hot chocolate down and asks me to dance I want nothing more then to curl up in his arms and have him sweep me around his living room forever.

I let out a little sigh of contentment as his arms fold around me and I close my eyes. Lately I'm finding more and more that I'm unable to stop thinking about him. Every second I'm not in his arms I'm wishing I was, and every second I am with him I'm dreading leaving again. But not tonight. I don't have to worry about that tonight because it's our time together and nothing is going to make me leave him.

I pull away from him a little to gaze up at him and I feel myself melt all over again when he entwines a hand in my hair and pulls me closer to him. I love his hands. They're so big and strong but so very gentle. Infinitely gentle. My own hands slip around his waist and I run them exploringly over his back. I can feel his muscle's ripple through the material of his shirt and it sends tiny thrills down my spine. I can't describe how I feel when I'm with him. The simplest way I can put it is by saying that it makes me feel safe, and yet at the same time I get that adrenaline rush when I know that I'm not totally in control. My love for him is stronger then I am and I know Angel feels the same way. Sometimes he'll confess to me that he gets scared about how powerful it is, and it makes me fall in love with him all over again.

Sometimes it scares me how much I can love him. He's my everything and I can't ever contemplate losing him now, not again, because I've lived through that twice before and its hell.

My thoughts and reminiscing are forgotten when his lips are brushing against mine and I'm putty in his hands. I love the way I can lose myself in him with the knowledge that he'll hold me steady. He always does. I lean up and into his frame and he's pulling me closer still, almost as if he can't stand anything being between us. Not even air. And I know the feeling all to well.

He breaks the kiss after a few moments and whispers into my ear 'Happy Christmas Buffy.'

I want to reply but his breath lightly tickling my ear is too much of a distraction. I want to tell him everything I'm thinking and feeling but I'm always lost for words and nothing comes out right. But I know he understands because there are so many things between us that are unspoken yet understood. He's my soul mate.

All too soon our song is ending and Angel is releasing me from his warm embrace. I try not to look disappointed but it's useless trying to hide anything from him. He just chuckles softly and reaches for his hot chocolate. I beam at him when he hands another cup to me. I take a sip and that warm content feeling floods through me once again. He pulls me over towards his couch and I'm immediately curling up in his lap, his arms encircling my waist. His hands begin to gently comb through my hair and I can never understand why he loves to do that so much, but I'm not complaining because it feels wonderful.

Tomorrow will be Christmas Eve and I get to spend all tomorrow and Christmas Day with him. I can't believe my luck, although he keeps insisting that he's the lucky one. I've dreamt about what Christmas with Angel would be like so many times, but nothing could be as special as this is.

I fall asleep to the sensation of his body rocking mine gently and his soft voice telling me how much he loves me. I make sure I reply before I allow sleep take hold of me this time.

The End

How was that? Fluffy enough? I wasn't sure whether writing it from Buffy's point of view worked very well, but it was fun to write anyway!

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