Rating: R+
Synopsis: The scene we were cheated of after Flooded and Carpe Noctem. Buffy and Angel meet between Sunnydale and LA. Whatever could happen?
Spoilers: Flooded, Carpe Noctem
Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just a poor little writer, and this wouldn't shut up in my head.
Distribution: Your Eyes, Land of Denial, FF.net, and anyone else who has my stuff can take it. If you want it for some reason, e-mail me with the URL.
Dedication: To all the B/A fans out there, keep the faith alive...
Feedback: Send all feedback to
AN: I know that everybody and his uncle has probably rewritten this mistake, but I could NOT kill this idea so I could work on my other stuff, so here it is. It's unbeta'ed because I didn't want to wait, so the mistakes are mine.

I started shaking the moment I managed to put mom's Jeep on the highway. It was an oversight that I couldn't believe I had made. I had been back from the dead for two weeks, and I hadn't called my soulmate to let him know that I wasn't a feted corpse. Now I was one my way to meet him at a ratty motel that we'd agreed upon on the phone. I realized that I had absolutely nothing to talk with him about. The last time we'd seen each other before the whole Glory thing was after mom's funeral, when he'd come to sit with me for a night under my favorite tree. He'd spouted some pretty lines of poetry, and we'd shared a heated kiss. But then, with the dawn, he disappeared once more into the darkness that proved I couldn't have him.

I was still trembling when I parked outside the room he'd told me. I have no idea how he'd arranged this all so calmly, how many people he'd met here in the past. No idea how he'd gotten here so quickly, with the sun barely down and all. Maybe it didn't matter, maybe this meeting was so important that the both of us could ignore the restraints that nature put upon us and soothe our aching souls with the balm that only our union could provide.

The door was unlocked, and so I pushed it open, stepping blindly into darkness, trusting that I would be safe with him around. Funny, I trusted him with everything except my heart. Once even with that, but I had been wounded too many times, and it was hard to give him that responsibility, or anyone else for that matter. I closed the cheap plywood behind me, locking it; as if that would do any good. If something wanted in, all they really had to do was try.

He was sitting on the bed, his head held in his hands, shoulders slumped in defeat. I'd never seen him so beaten down before... Made me wonder just how bad things had to be to faze the great and stoic Angel. Damn he had a mean brood.

"Angel," I say softly, interrupting whatever it was he was thinking about. Slowly, he turns and looks up at me. "Oh Angel," I sigh upon seeing his face. His cheeks are streaked with dried tears, his eyes bright with those unshed. My Angel, my rock, has been crying.

When he stood, I could see that he was shaking nearly as bad as I was. His first few tentative steps towards me were unstable, calculated, like this was a dream or that he might fall apart if he weren't careful. "Buffy," he whispers in awe, his hand reaching out to touch me, and for the first time since I've been back, I don't fight it. His fingers gently trace the outline of my cheek, and I realize for the first time, that I'm crying too. Suddenly I'm in his arms, and we're pulling each other as close as physically possible. "For a long time, I thought that God didn't exist, because if he did, how could he ever take you away from me?" he murmured against her hair. "But you're here, and he does exist, he just likes to torment me."

There was nothing that I could reply with that could comfort him. So for some reason that I will never be able to explain, my lips found his in a tender and bittersweet kiss. I knew I should pull away, hell, I knew I shouldn't have done it in the first place. The temptation right now would just be overwhelming. Our mouths melded together in a salute of growing passion, becoming hotter by the minute. His fingers tangled in my hair as my tongue slipped into his cool mouth, drawing his out to play. It was like the whole world fell away, and we were the only people that were left on earth.

Everything was a blur as he carried me over to the bed. I vaguely remember moaning his name as his mouth was torn from mine to begin a journey downward to my neck, which bore his rough mark. Like an animal, he laved at it with his tongue, and I felt myself grow wet and clench with desire. Stop... We needed to stop before something awful happened.

I tried to voice it to my vampire love, but I couldn't force sound to come from my lips. I couldn't get enough of the taste of him. God, I love the way his muscles ripple under my hands. Our clothes seemed to melt away because suddenly we were naked together, and he was playing my body like a finely tuned instrument. Within minutes of my body's tension, he rose up and slid inside me, coming home to me. It was amazing, I could taste heaven again here in his arms. We moved together in perfect tandem until our bodies, like tightly coiled springs, snapped and offered us the release and solace we had been craving.

I watched it hit him afterwards, as we lay panting from the exhaustion of our passions. I saw the look of sheer terror come over his face as he realized exactly what we'd done. We lay there for what seemed like hours, waiting for the inevitable to come true, for him to lose his soul. He clutched me tightly against his chest, as if I could anchor him to this world, to our now.

When it was almost dawn and he had yet to change, it seemed a fluke, but even still we dressed and parted ways. It was simply too dangerous for us to be near, because next time we might not get so lucky. For us, it was better to pretend that tonight was a beautiful gift that we could never have again. No one can ever know what passed between us.

I watched him stand at the door, ready to leave for his hotel. "Angel," I called out, and he stopped, turning to look at me. "Always." It was an oath I swore before him, and would promise before God himself, to remain always his.

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