RATING: You watch it? You can read it.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine; don't sue.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and ye shall receive.
FEEDBACK: I crave it! It's like cigarettes, ya know? Just when I think I've quit…
SPOILERS: None.
NOTES: I have strange thoughts sometimes. For those of you who are reading 'Sacrifice', don't worry, I'm still working on it, it's just that this popped into my head and refused to let me sleep until I wrote it down.
SUMMERY: Buffy thinks about her relationship with Angel.

Have you ever played with magnets? If you try to put them together one way then they push each other apart, never able to connect. But if you just flip them over then the barrier between them disappears and they are drawn to one another, bound together by an invisible force.

Angel is my magnet. When the demon is in control, we repel one another. The most deeply embedded aspects of our natures force us apart and we stand looking at one another from opposite side of a line that we can never cross. We could remain that way forever and still nothing would change, we can never rest, never touch, never find peace.

But turn the magnet over, and suddenly everything has changed. I am drawn to my Angel by a force so strong that I could not fight it even if I wished to. Our souls meet and bond, so closely united as to be almost indivisible. No matter how far away we might be, I can always feel the pull, urging me to go to him, to join with him. Only when we are together can I know peace, only then does the constant tugging inside me stop. Only when our eyes meet and I feel the two halves of our soul click into place do I know that I am exactly where I belong…that I am home.

We are either pulled together or pushed apart, we love and hate in equal measure, we trust and we fear, we hope and we despair, we hurt and we heal, but the one thing that we can never do is be indifferent to one another. My friends don't understand it, I can never find the words to explain to them that, no matter which side of the magnet faces me, my thoughts are always of him, from the moment I wake to the moment I go to sleep and even in my dreams, he is always there.

Angel is my magnet and, despite the pain, I would not have it any other way.

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